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The Duggars and Their World: Fashion, Food, Finance, Schoolin’ and Child Rearin'


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8 hours ago, queenanne said:

Duke is a name for the dog, I’m sorry.

 

Yeah, that’s exactly what I told my brother when his little girlfriend wanted to name my nephew Duke. She thought he needed a “black name” since he was mixed.  I may or may not have threatened to file for custody just for the naming rights. They settled on Jack, thankfully. 

Edited by Spencer Hastings
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Not sure if this is where a Duggar dream goes, as I've never had one before.  I dreamed that suddenly I was at the compound with Anna, who was reading a religious book (not the Bible, some Christian woman thing).  She was really nice.  I asked to use the restroom so I could get a look at the bedrooms.  The girls' room was huge and there were ropes hanging from ceiling with hangers for individual clothes.  (Of course we know there is no such thing - it's communal closet all the way.)  Mackynzie  was writing her abcs with marker on the wall!  That was the most interesting part of the dream.  That's all I can remember of my very 1st Duggar dream.  

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On 12/12/2018 at 12:47 PM, queenanne said:

Duke is a name for the dog, I’m sorry.

also noting that I saw a discussion on a Nameberry (?) forum not too long ago, where a presumably sentient mother was debating naming her kid ‘Legend’.  Someone else chimed in to say they ‘wanted to steal it’, as I fought back the urge to say ‘Is this a classic example of what they call ‘Baby Brain’?”

The discussion went a surprisingly long time before anyone said ‘No, don’t do that.  They’ll make fun of the kid all his life.’

 

Can Newton- Carolina Panther quarterback named his son “Chosen”. An acquaintance just named their child “Major”.  I teach a kid named “Temptress”.... People pick some awful names for their poor kids.

On topic-Didn’t some fundy family name this kid Heisrisen or some nonsense like that?

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5 minutes ago, AUgirl said:

Can Newton- Carolina Panther quarterback named his son “Chosen”. An acquaintance just named their child “Major”.  I teach a kid named “Temptress”.... People pick some awful names for their poor kids.

On topic-Didn’t some fundy family name this kid Heisrisen or some nonsense like that?

Yep, as I recall, Heisrisen is a girl's name, if anyone is thinking of stealing it.

In my former line of work, I ran into quite a few stupid kids' names.  The parents were invariably smug about the names they chose, convinced that they were the most creative and special parents ever.  In other words, people who give their kids stupid names do not realize what a bad idea it is.

Edited by doodlebug
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I realise some will take this as evidence of an oppressive nanny state but we have actual rules as to what you can legally name your child (you can call them whatever you like in private of course) and reading this thread I'm kind of happy about that. Heistheway wtf? It's worse than effing Renesmee. Sometimes kids just need protecting from their parents' brain farts.

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6 hours ago, Catlyn said:

There was news on Facebook about a mom naming her son Squire Sabastian Senator. https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/pregnancy/mumtobe-cancels-baby-shower-after-family-mocks-name-shed-chosen-for-her-son/news-story/43af0d37cf0e06d2417f7f299e3c3f6c never underestimate the stupidity of the human race. 

Not only does she plan to give her child a stupid name, she strictly forbids her family and friends from using any abbreviations or nicknames, his full name or nothing.  And she complain that they’re judging and mocking a baby.  No, honey, they’re judging and mocking you.

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My granddaughter's favorite things in the past few weeks have been to wave, then clap. And everyone says, "Yaaay!" And I can't help but flash back to Jill-ville every time I do it, but it just keeps popping out. Anyone have an alternative to "Yaaay!" before my brain turns around and clobbers me for it?

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1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

My granddaughter's favorite things in the past few weeks have been to wave, then clap. And everyone says, "Yaaay!" And I can't help but flash back to Jill-ville every time I do it, but it just keeps popping out. Anyone have an alternative to "Yaaay!" before my brain turns around and clobbers me for it?

I say, Go with the flow.

There's really nothing wrong with "Yay." It just got a bad rap around here because poor stunted emotionally-deprived dumb-bunny Jilly Muffin says it, I guess.

But just as a word, seems to me it's fine. It's a positive word -- no mistaking that. A little kid can understand it, a little kid can say it. Obviously it means "Hurrah" but that sounds silly and pretentious in the 21st century. Even "Hooray" sometimes sounds a bit much, to me. And that's despite my saying both 'Hurrah" and "Hooray" sometimes. Ditto for "Bravo" or "Brava." Save those for when the kid starts singing opera. 

Rescue and resuscitate "Yay" if it's the word that comes naturally to your group. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

Jinger was having trouble pasting on that "keep sweet" face, as she got into her 20's and was part of the traveling mob for the teevee show, shopping for her sisters' and SIL's baby clothes or wedding dresses or whatever. She looked thin and unhappy. Then Jessa and Bin introduced her to Jeremy and the girl got right. Jeremy, I would bet the rent, was damned sure that he wasn't going to become a father nine months and ten minutes after saying "I do." And, he didn't. I think he's a pretentious jerk who holds repugnant beliefs, but he's not Jim Bob Duggar's bitch, he's not going to isolate his children on a compound, and he's not going to have a stinkbus full of kids. Jinger had the opportunity to see her sisters experience motherhood before she did, and if she ever had any unconscious expectation of following her mother's "have 'em and hand 'em off to someone else" model of parenting, it's probably been wiped away by now. She and Jeremy are great parents on social media, and that's all we really know about it. I'm sure the show will feature them, and Jeremy will have figured out how to make the best impression on camera. I can't see Jeremy or his parents standing by and watching Jeremy's child(ren) being given a subpar home school education, when that time comes. Either they will coach Jinger to improve her skills as a home school teacher, or figure out something else. This is no reflection on Jinger's natural intelligence, but on the slipshod type of "homeschooling" that the checked-out Michelle provided to those kids. 

This is an excellent analysis of the four Duggar daughters and the sons-in-law. I completely agree. To comment on the part that I bolded, we've already seen how Jinger's sisters' decisions have influenced Jinger's decisions. She was the first Duggar daughter to go to a birthing center, whereas the others before her all attempted at-home births. She had the easiest experience by far. Granted, she is the first Duggar daughter to have her own daughter, as opposed to a son, so she won't have her sisters as models in every respect.

There isn't much to say about the Duggar sons/daughters-in-law since only two of the four pairs have any kids. We haven't seen much of Garrett, but given how we've seen Joe with Kendra, I think his parenting will be similar to Ben's. Joe seems to genuinely adore his family. Josh of course has the most kids, and he's an ass in many ways, but in terms of his parenting I don't think he's like any of his brothers-in-law.

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I cannot imagine handing off my six month old baby. Full stop. 

I thought when the Duggar daughters started having their own babies, they would realize how bananas their parents were. I like to think that Jess’s, Jinger, and Joy all enjoy motherhood and it has crossed their minds with horror that their mother did not love them like they love their babies. 

But to @Jeeves ‘s point, I think Jill is like 

get married - check!

get pregnant right away - check!

have baby - check!

get pregnant again - check!

If she has any regrets or sadness, it’s because her body hasn’t followed the plan, not because she has realized the plan is BS. I imagine Jessa looking at six month old Spurgeon deep into his eyes and wondering how she could possibly have enough love for another baby. And I imagine Jill looking at the calendar to see Israel is six months and thinking it is time to work on her army for Jesus.

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Jessa was getting knocked up when Spurge was six months old. He and Henry are only 15 months apart. She brags about how they can be close because they are so close in age. She goes on to vote her relationship with Jinger as proof.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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9 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jessa was getting knocked up when Spurge was six months old. He and Henry are only 15 months apart. She brags about how they can be close because they are so close in age. She goes on to vote her relationship with Jinger as proof.

And she writes big fulsome gushing paeans to the wonderful parenting she got from godly mama, too. 

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10 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I thought when the Duggar daughters started having their own babies, they would realize how bananas their parents were.

Me too, although in my case it was more a matter of wondering if they would realize it, than assuming that they would. This was back when Jill and Jessa had their first babies. With them living within range of the TTH, it seemed possible they would - if only reflexively - at least try to mirror their mother's practice and offload child care onto their younger sisters. Beyond just some babysitting.

For all we know, either or both of them did think in those terms at least for awhile. The big practical obstacle, though, is that in the age ladder after Joy, there's that string of boys. Johannah, the next youngest sister after Joy, was not quite 10 years old when Iz was born.

I can imagine Jill assuming she'd get lots of help from her sisters, as part of her inner 13-year-old's rainbows and unicorns and sparkleponies view of Duggar world. Marriage would free her from sister-mom drudgery and launch her into a wife and mother status like Michelle's. She would have a lot of babies, and be praised for being so wonderful at home-birthing them, and supported on all sides by her wonderful husband and big Duggar family, and live happily ever after. While making the occasional missionary foray into a foreign country, where she would convert people to Jesus by the score, and deliver babies to grateful women, and be praised and adored by Jesus and all the people. Then, reality hit. Neither childbirth nor missionary life was as imagined. Poor Jill. I think that she'd dump those kids on the younger sisters in a New York minute if she could. Except when she needs them as props for photo opps and appearances and social media.

I also wonder what kind of conversations took place with Michelle if Jill or Jessa even mentioned the idea that Joy or one of the little girls might be some sort of "buddy" to their kid(s). I don't see Michelle buying into that for a New York minute, those kids are hers to control, the littles were really little back then, and anyway Anna had already set an example of being an involved hands-on mother to her babies and kids. I'm sure the Duggar sisters helped out, and the Smuggar kids are close to their aunts/uncles, but I doubt Anna offloaded all that much onto her SILs beyond typical babysitting etc. 

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jessa was getting knocked up when Spurge was six months old. He and Henry are only 15 months apart. She brags about how they can be close because they are so close in age. She goes on to vote her relationship with Jinger as proof.

 

I looked up the Duggar grandchildren's ages. Jessa has slowed her roll here. Henry is 23 months old today. If she'd kept up the pace, she'd have dropped kid #3 more than six months ago. 

BTW, Sam turns 18 months old this week. Jill may have physical/medical reasons for not being pregnant again, but it occurred to me that they probably have huge medical bills from Sammy's birth. Don't you just know that if they do, Derick will be everlastingly bitching and sniping about those while they are paying them off, and ever after. And using that as a reason for not starting the next baby. Besides, law school.

36 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

And she [Jessa] writes big fulsome gushing paeans to the wonderful parenting she got from godly mama, too. 

Jessa probably believes it, but at any rate she's burnishing the brand. This woman will claw and fight to hang on to that TV show and that includes defending the good name of her parents. I'm sure she's thinking about her own childhood as she parents her kids. How realistically, we have no idea, but it doesn't surprise me that she seems to be doing the rose colored glasses thing, and the expected thing of praising Saint Michelle, Our Lady of Perpetual Fecundity, to the heavens. 

Edited by Jeeves
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3 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I also wonder what kind of conversations took place with Michelle if Jill or Jessa even mentioned the idea that Joy or one of the little girls might be some sort of "buddy" to their kid(s). I don't see Michelle buying into that for a New York minute, those kids are hers to control

Bingo! 

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3 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

I read that Derrick and  Jill admited Sam was in NICU for 5 days. So that would give big medical bill right?

Derick posted a while ago, that they have paid that off. I believe he said it took them a year.

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4 hours ago, louannems said:

I still really need to know how Jill and Jessa are delaying future pregnancies.  Abstinence?  Seems so unlikely.  NFP?  The pill?  Of course not!

Condoms? There are guys involved here, too. And I'm not convinced that ANY of the married-in guys is by now terribly enthusiastic about producing a horde. (and only Bin might have been originally, even, I think -- back when he was literally a child) ...

I doubt that Jill or Jessa now shares Anna's apparent enthusiasm for horde-spawning ..........So they might well allow that, I think. And it can be procured discreetly BY the men.  So -- headship. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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10 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I have nothing of substance to add but wanted to thank @Jeeves for the excellent analyses.

Aw, that's sweet. I hesitated to post such looonngg comments. It was just me being idly curious about how Michelle's system of dumping so much on those sister-moms, could have impacted their own expectations and experiences of motherhood. On the one hand, it's obviously unrealistic for a young mother of a first baby, to expect to offload child rearing because, hey, it's only one kid and there aren't any other/older kids to help out. On the other hand, Jill and Jessa as first time moms weren't far from the TTH with all those helping hands, and they grew up with a kind of bunker mentality on the compound and moved around in a big bunch, and the model of motherhood they saw was Mother handing off all the hard work. And I still wonder how it would have played out if there had been a daughter or two in the age group between Joy and Johannah, to lend a hand. Hmm...

And speaking of motherhood, it is strange to me that there are no announced pregnancies among the Duggarlings at this time. Is it possible that nobody's knocked up, or is JB saving the news for a strategically timed announcement? Maybe that two or three of them are expecting. As has been variously noted:

By Duggar standards, these women ought to be carrying the next Duggar blessings grandchildren for Jim Bob's Army, and most are past due for it:

  • Jessa's youngest will be two years old next month [Henry was born February 6, 2017].
  • It's about time for Anna to have started #6 [Mason was born September 12, 2017].
  • Jill had a tough delivery with Samuel [July 8, 2017] but he's nearly 18 months old now.
  • Lauren and Josiah got married on June 30, 2018. Maybe the flat stomach in the Christmas video/photos is a bluff.
  • I'm sure that Austin will let Joy know what God intends for them, but Gideon will be one year old on February 23 which by her mother's standards means she ought to be pregnant again.

These women probably get a pass for being pregnant:

  • Kendra gave birth to Garrett on June 8, 2018.
  • Jinger delivered Felicity on July 19, 2018. And, I think Jeremy doesn't give a sh*t whether JB has 100 grandchildren or not. Not his circus, not his monkeys. 
  • Abbie married JD last November 3.

Maybe three or more of the "eligibles" listed above are pregnant, and they are going to work that into a huge media event for an announcement. Because really, "a Duggar is pregnant!" is probably clickbait mainly for the dedicated leghumpers, but multiples being pregnant is better clickbait.

@Churchhoney posted as I was writing this. I agree, the sons-in-law are probably not on board with Jim Bob's dream of world domination by breeding, at least when it comes to increasing the number of their own offspring/dependents. 

My snarky self sez, being pregnant is the blinking job description of a married Duggar female, including daughters-in-law. Five of them are obviously slacking. They have ONE job. Heh. But yeah, it takes two. And, headship.

Edited by Jeeves
"doesn't" is an important word
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26 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

When does the show return? I'm guessing if anyone's pregnant, no announcements will come till right before the premiere or possibly even during the premiere. 

I think you're right. As of now, the TLC website doesn't say when the next season starts. The show will probably run forever, and it's really just "courtship, engagement, wedding, childbirth," rinse and repeat. Yawn.

It makes sense that timing all the pregnancy announcements for the start of the new season would create some buzz.

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3 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I think you're right. As of now, the TLC website doesn't say when the next season starts. The show will probably run forever, and it's really just "courtship, engagement, wedding, childbirth," rinse and repeat. Yawn.

It makes sense that timing all the pregnancy announcements for the start of the new season would create some buzz.

Maybe one of them will give birth to The Second Coming. ... Or an alien. ...Or...strangest of all....somebody who ultimately won't end up looking like Jim Bob. Or Josh. 

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9 hours ago, louannems said:

I still really need to know how Jill and Jessa are delaying future pregnancies.  Abstinence?  Seems so unlikely.  NFP?  The pill?  Of course not!

For Derrick and Jill I can believe infrequent intercourse is a likely contributor toward delayed pregnancies. He acts like he hates her- yes of course it only takes one incidence of intercourse to conceive, but if they are rarely having sex then there you have it. 

5 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Condoms? There are guys involved here, too. And I'm not convinced that ANY of the married-in guys is by now terribly enthusiastic about producing a horde. (and only Bin might have been originally, even, I think -- back when he was literally a child) ...

I doubt that Jill or Jessa now shares Anna's apparent enthusiasm for horde-spawning ..........So they might well allow that, I think. And it can be procured discreetly BY the men.  So -- headship. 

With Ben and Jessa, likely the kids sharing their bed cuts down on their sexy times. But I think these two like each other and do still have sex, I vote condoms (which can be ordered online!!) in combination with NFP. 

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20 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

We've always assumed that young Fundie guys like Derick and Ben rush into marriage with girls they barely know because they're horny and desperate to get laid with God's blessing. I think that's true in Ben's case, but maybe not so much with Derick. Even young guys can have a low sex drive and it may be that sex is something Derick can live nicely without much of the time, especially if he channels all his energy into religious mania. If Derick isn't really into sex (and any affection he had for Jill is being eroded by her incessant clinging) then the chances for conception are very slim.

On the other hand, there's been speculation that Sam's difficult birth may have left Jill unable to have more children. I wouldn't wish that on anybody and I hope it's not true, but it could explain a few things. They were quite secretive (for Duggars) about the circumstances of Sam's birth. We know something bad happened, but they kept it quiet (as opposed to their usual "Look at me!" exhibitionism with childbirth). And ever since Sam's birth, they've both been acting crazier than usual: Derick's increasingly weird religious rants, the feud with Jazz, the abrupt departure from TLC, his obvious anger towards Jill, Jill's retreat into child-like idiocy ("Yaaaay!") and her sudden obsession with churning out recipes. All of these things could have other explanations,  but they could also be a reaction to receiving devastating news and being forced by family pressure to keep it a secret.

I could most certainly see that. We were discussing a while back, and even taking out Derrick’s nasty attitude he seems like someone (to a lot of people here) to be someone with a naturally low sex drive (which some young guys do have). Even if he were a nice kind person, who was really into Jill, he might be happy with sex 1-2x per month. Given he’s her “headship” I cannot see Jill making any complaints, and given our attitudes about heteronormativity, it is embarssing for a young woman to have her husband be less into sex that she is (even if he’s an otherwise great guy). 

And Derrick isn’t a great guy- he’s Derrick, there we have it. 

As far as Jill’s health post Sammy’s birth- I do feel for her if she was encouraged not to have more children. She was told her entire life that being a super breeder was evidence of God’s love, working through that would require More emotional intelligence than Jill has. 

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14 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Condoms? There are guys involved here, too. And I'm not convinced that ANY of the married-in guys is by now terribly enthusiastic about producing a horde. (and only Bin might have been originally, even, I think -- back when he was literally a child) ...

I doubt that Jill or Jessa now shares Anna's apparent enthusiasm for horde-spawning ..........So they might well allow that, I think. And it can be procured discreetly BY the men.  So -- headship. 

I don’t think that Ben even knows what a condom is and that guy seems to want more kids in the last season of CO he said something to Jess like I hope we have another baby by the end of this year or next year and then Jessa pulled a face lol that made me laugh this girl does not want loads of kids like her mother. I think Jessa could be using NFP or she’s just hoping the kids will sleep in the bed forever. Jill and Derek could be using condoms I’m sure he knows where to buy some, plus I think after Jill’s second cesearean she was probably told it’s not wise to get pregnant again in case she had to have her third one, I don’t know but I’m not sure how cool doctors are with performing a cesearan on someone every year those two are definitely using something. 

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Jill and Jessa have also been in favor of breast-feeding for a long time (atleast a year), in part because it reduces the likelihood of another pregnancy right away.

(I know at least two people who got pregnant while still breast-feeding so obiviously it's not perfect, but it might help.)

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