S09.E05: PolygaMexicamist Wedding

[Gothish520]

2 minutes ago, the-grey-lady said:

Oh, how I love this show's editors. Nothing like Robyn insisting that Mykelti is some kind of calm in a storm, and then watching the blushing bride bitch and snap and everyone, not to mention her stamping her foot and insisting that she absolutely must have an outdoor wedding, pregnant sisters and sick siblings be damned. Hey, I have an idea for brides who want to get married outside. Okay, here it comes. Ahem....GET MARRIED DURING A WARM TIME OF YEAR.

And did Tony seriously have a hard time saying that he liked Mykelti's hair? AT THEIR WEDDING? What's this asshole's problem, anyway? And if you like Mykelti in her natural state, I would think you'd hate her artificially-darkened hair and the half-inch of spackle/makeup she insists on troweling on. Geez, just tell her she looks beautiful, jackass. It isn't that hard.

Mykelti wants Christine downstairs, but her mom can't join them because she's waiting for Kody because...he can't walk down the stairs without her guidance (this is a distinct possibility)? Why do those chuckleheads have to make everything so stupidly complicated?

Ugh, I can't even with Tony. Just say her hair looked pretty ffs.

I'm glad Christine didn't hop to when Mykelti called. And that place was just chaotic. Why was everyone running around all over the place before the ceremony? 

Also, I am unconventional in a lot of ways, but I have to admit that I like the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony. 

[kicotan]

18 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

My peeve is back fat (that someone mentioned).  You don't even have to be a big person to get it, plenty of thin women have it.  If it doesn't pass the back fat test it isn't a keeper.  A good bra can help but when you are curvy, there is only so much that can be done.  Everyone I know that has gotten married wants to look the best they possibly can.  This takes some effort and time but it is well worth it. 

Exactly.

Annnd, if she really HAD to have that dress she could have paired a short jacket or one of those shrugs that Janelle gave her and voila', back fat hanging over the garment covered up with the added bonus of adding warmth, a bit of modesty and a wintertime feel.

But no.  It's almost like they sat down and planned to have as many awkward/inappropriate/wacky situations as possible.

[Kohola3]

Quote

Those dresses are beautiful! And honestly, it may seem cliched, but a December wedding just begs for Christmas decor.

What.teal, silver, brown, yellow (or whatever the hell it was) doesn't say Christmas to you?

I totally agree, and what a great way to same money.  A venue like that would certainly be already decorated in a normal holiday fashion.  But then we're talking about tje Brain Trust Entitlement Twins that strove to make their guests suffer as much as possible and then poisoned them by serving cake already covered in FT spit.

[KariLois]

When Tony was going after the other cake, I swear to god it was like Eric Cartman come to life.

[TheGreenWave]

14 minutes ago, the-grey-lady said:

Was it honestly necessary to subject the viewership to yet another round of Ponytail-gate? Let's just end this shit once and for all. Kody, your hair looks awful in a ponytail. It looks like shit frizzing about your head. I do not like this Kody's hair. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like it in a park. I do not like it in the dark. I do not like it in a house. I would not like it with a mouse. So quit worrying about Kody's damn hair. IT ALWAYS LOOKS TERRIBLE. ALL THE TIME.

H AHA HA!!!!!!  OMG I am dying over here!!! 

I loved how Kody is all: "yeah, I like to wear the ponytail for Janelle to hear her growl at me" and Janelle completely shut it down with, "um, so I did that once.  ONCE!"  Shade. Thrown.

[Natalie68]

10 minutes ago, gunderda said:

Because he wanted 10 tacos and only got FOUR! ;) 

Sadly I think it's a family trait.... Christine's (although hard to see) also have that same weird angle/shape. 

I think so as well.  But a good eyebrow artist could create an arch (you could even buy those cheap applique things that make good eyebrows foolproof, WAY more cheaply than those Anastacia ones).  I think it all boils down to she needs to go back to her natural hair color (or one not as dark) and use lighter eyebrow color.  

[Cherrio]

I could of solved the problem weather for the guests, still allowing FT and My. to be outside.  Guests inside or drive-thru, Christine even has a microphone to sing with.

So much cheaper and no running out of tacos.

[Kbo]

It made me stabby when FT and his groomsmen were sitting around (I refuse to call them brosmen) and he had no idea when they were supposed to show up. Did he even take a shower?  It looked like they were playing Xbox. Whoever said they have the maturity of 12 year old was spot on. 

It also chapped my hide when he acted like it was an imposition to do a first look.  Miracle of miracles he got a woman to agree to marry him and he can’t stop acting like a dick for one day?  Seriously?

Agree with everyone else she should have worn the shrug Janelle bought her, it looked beautiful.  

[bichonblitz]

21 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

Also, I am unconventional in a lot of ways, but I have to admit that I like the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony. 

I have to say the best part of the night for me was when Tony came down the stairs to tell Mykelti they were late and she told him NOT to come in the room and to go  away, back upstairs. She did not want him to see her and she stuck to her guns. She was dead serious and poor FT went back up the stairs with his tail between his legs. Awesome!! On second thought, maybe we're not giving Mykelti enough credit for being able to put that doofus in his place. Things might be different once the honeymoon starry eyed stage is over.  

Edited February 12, 2018 by bichonblitz

[the-grey-lady]

How come no one's commenting on Christine's godawful singing? Have we all blocked it out due to some kind of hypnosis and/or drugs?

Yeah, Christine, you performed terribly because the guitar player was off. NOT BECAUSE THAT KEY WAS TOO HIGH FOR YOU.

Edited February 12, 2018 by the-grey-lady

[Gothish520]

6 minutes ago, the-grey-lady said:

How come no one's commenting on Christine's godawful singing? Have we all blocked it out due to some kind of hypnosis and/or drugs?

LOL, it was mentioned upthread a few times. I am willing to give her a pass because she did it for Mykelti, and it took guts for her to go through with it. She fully admits that she was out of her element.

Although, someone posted a social media comment from Christine where she said she sang two songs and did much better on the one that was not shown. Either she is trying to save face, or TLC insisted on showing the bad song just to give us something to talk about. I want to see footage of that other song!

Edited February 12, 2018 by Gothish520

[TipseyGirl]

3 hours ago, beeziebee said:

A little bit off topic, but has anyone seen the Geico commercial that features the family at the aquarium viewing the manatees?  One of the manatees is wearing a tee shirt that says "Did someone say tacos?", and another wears a tee that says, "Come at me bro".  I'm sorry, but all I can think of is FT when I see these commercials.  Is it the tacos?  Is it the manatees?  Is it the use of the term "bro"?  I don't really know, but now I can't see that commercial without thinking of FT and what an ass he is.  Manatees, clothed or otherwise, are adorable.

Because Tony is shaped like a manatee and he would totally wear one of those t-shirts. The manatees had the sense to wear the proper sizes, though.

[neh]

I have always felt kind of sad for Mykelti.  Christine said that Mykelti always felt different and outside the family.  I could see it through the years.  Mykelti never seemed at completely at ease with her Isiblings.  She looked different.  She seemed to have different interests and needs, which the Browns never seemed to understand.  Mykelti worked very hard to set herself apart, such as her dress with the wonky hat, which she wore to the recommitment ceremony.  I hope she finds what she needs with Tony but I hold out little hope of that.

[Sandy W]

8 minutes ago, neh said:

I have always felt kind of sad for Mykelti.  Christine said that Mykelti always felt different and outside the family.  I could see it through the years.  Mykelti never seemed at completely at ease with her Isiblings.  She looked different.  She seemed to have different interests and needs, which the Browns never seemed to understand.  Mykelti worked very hard to set herself apart, such as her dress with the wonky hat, which she wore to the recommitment ceremony.  I hope she finds what she needs with Tony but I hold out little hope of that.

I agree that Mykelti has been viewed as different and outside, but just wait until Truley hits her teens.  She already acts out to get attention and I'm sure she is very aware that bonus mom Meri treats Sol to movie nights, craft and baking sessions, while she looks wistfully on.  My heart breaks for her.

[sandyskyblue]

3 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

I  NEVER would say this to anyone but those two NEED to use birth control stat. Until they grow up or grow to see what a huge mistake they made, a baby should not be added to the mix.

Eww they look like brother and sister in that picture above.

Could not agree with you more, Fuzzysox....FT sems to be stuck at the goofy adolescent stage of development, hence the 'bewb's' and tampon references....I think it would be a huge mistake for these 2 to become parents: one is a obnoxious immature clown and the other is a self absorbed selfish b*tch....

[Pingaponga]

Is it a new thing for a bride to insist on how her bridesmaids' hair will be styled and how their make-up will be done?  Because that wasn't the case when my friends and family got married.  The bride chose our dresses and shoes, and the rest was up to us.  Just how controlling is Mykelti?

I found it really, really disturbing to see the piñata of the bride being beaten up.  Horrendously disturbing.  How could anyone have thought that was appropriate?  How could no one say, if that's what you want, you buy it yourself?

And if my son or his fiancée ever came to me and said I had to make some massive number of flower petals or garland or goodness only knows what else for their wedding, I'd say no.  Too bad, so sad, not happening.  (That's not about to happy anyway, kid's only 15.)

One good thing about Mykelti and Tony? They haven't moved in with her mother, and they haven't announced a pregnancy.  I guess that's two good things.

[Roslyn]

oh my...

At the wedding...Kody is dressed like a game show host.

[sandyskyblue]

2 hours ago, neh said:

I think that you are on to something here, Shoovenbooty.  Maybe Tony and Mykelti had a religious ceremony or a civil one.  The two of them seem very comfortable with each other.  Also, the apartment looks like Tony decorated it....in his unique style.

Makes sense Neh and Shoovenbooty, alsoI thought it was weird when Kody was giving his speech that he said something to the effect of: 'Thank you for coming to Tony and Mykelti's PARTY' not their wedding...so maybe everyone knew they were already married and this was the 'party' for it??

[sandyskyblue]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Oh, how I love this show's editors. Nothing like Robyn insisting that Mykelti is some kind of calm in a storm, and then watching the blushing bride bitch and snap and everyone, not to mention her stamping her foot and insisting that she absolutely must have an outdoor wedding, pregnant sisters and sick siblings be damned. Hey, I have an idea for brides who want to get married outside. Okay, here it comes. Ahem....GET MARRIED DURING A WARM TIME OF YEAR.

And did Tony seriously have a hard time saying that he liked Mykelti's hair? AT THEIR WEDDING? What's this asshole's problem, anyway? And if you like Mykelti in her natural state, I would think you'd hate her artificially-darkened hair and the half-inch of spackle/makeup she insists on troweling on. Geez, just tell her she looks beautiful, jackass. It isn't that hard.

Was it honestly necessary to subject the viewership to yet another round of Ponytail-gate? Let's just end this shit once and for all. Kody, your hair looks awful in a ponytail. It looks like shit frizzing about your head. I do not like this Kody's hair. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like it in a park. I do not like it in the dark. I do not like it in a house. I would not like it with a mouse. So quit worrying about Kody's damn hair. IT ALWAYS LOOKS TERRIBLE. ALL THE TIME.

Mykelti wants Christine downstairs, but her mom can't join them because she's waiting for Kody because...he can't walk down the stairs without her guidance (this is a distinct possibility)? Why do those chuckleheads have to make everything so stupidly complicated?

The-Grey-Lady, I am applauding this post!  The Dr Seuss parody....perfect!!

[Mothra]

15 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

18 hours ago, toodles said:

The wedding was just magnanimous-™Fat Tony

15 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

And very dubious.

I dunno.  I thought it was trite, myself.

[Mothra]

9 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Grifters gotta grift missed this opportunity. They should have contacted the company and explained their wedding idea and could have maybe gotten a few freebees. I'm shocked they didn't think of this.

Do you think they paid for anything?  I don't--well, maybe the frisbees and the pinatas.  But I bet they grifted the venue, food, music--maybe McK's dress, too.

[Almost 3000]

3 hours ago, Granny58 said:

women know where their boobs are.  She knew. 

Not true. I walked across the entire dining room of a cruise ship with one boob hanging out. I was wearing a tank shirt with no bra and a cross body hand bag that had pulled the tank to one side. At least I was in my twenties and perky.  ;^)

[Mothra]

5 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

What's sad about this is that if ALL the parents are so gaga over Tony, it will make it more difficult for her to break free from this jerkwad. Maybe they should start by treating him like a normal human being instead of the gift from god they seem to believe he is. It will lead Mykelti to think there must be something wrong with her if everybody else in the family thinks he's so perfect.  

 

I don't believe for a nanosecond that the parents are gaga over FT.  I think they realize that Myk has decided she wants to marry him, so they're not going to badmouth him in front of her, but I bet when it's just the parents they really take FT apart.  And I think the reason they're so OTT on camera is that they are afraid of being accused of racism, on top of the not wanting to tear down Myk's husband.

IMO you really can't be gaga over a guy who wants to beat a pinata that represents his wife, and the parents were all--justifiably and audibly--horrified by that prospect.  I'm sure they're at least as aware of what a fucking jerk FT is, and they're trying to make the best of it.

Edited to add:  Is it so very wrong to want to taunt Taunya?

Edited February 12, 2018 by Mothra

[Gothish520]

1 hour ago, neh said:

I have always felt kind of sad for Mykelti.  Christine said that Mykelti always felt different and outside the family.  I could see it through the years.  Mykelti never seemed at completely at ease with her Isiblings.  She looked different.  She seemed to have different interests and needs, which the Browns never seemed to understand.  Mykelti worked very hard to set herself apart, such as her dress with the wonky hat, which she wore to the recommitment ceremony.  I hope she finds what she needs with Tony but I hold out little hope of that.

It's perfectly fine to be different than one's siblings, so I don't see that as a negative in any way. It doesn't have to be sad. I think she may have been the one that made her parents worry because she seemed to act defiant and have an attitude. All that is well and good, but if one wants to act up and be a handful, then one has to expect to be treated that way. My sister went through a stage where she acted rebellious and pouty - at school she put on a show about how "dark" and "different" she was, then got upset when people called her out on it. It's a bid for attention. And trust me, she was never lacking for attention. To this day she has a tendency to be "me me me" about things. Love her very much, but she even admits it.

I think it's just part of Mykelti's personality, and it's not really anyone's job to make her feel different, or better, as the case may be - it has to come from inside her. 

Edited February 12, 2018 by Gothish520

[Granny58]

20 minutes ago, Almost 3000 said:

Not true. I walked across the entire dining room of a cruise ship with one boob hanging out. I was wearing a tank shirt with no bra and a cross body hand bag that had pulled the tank to one side. At least I was in my twenties and perky.  ;^)

HA HA HA HA HA HA  I stand corrected.  

[Tabbygirl521]

I had to watch this in installments because it was making me nuts. Finally finished!

it’s a good thing they didn’t serve champagne because when Christine was singing, we would have heard 400 glasses pinging and shattering like in the old Memorex commercials. 

When Mykelti was demanding her mom’s presence, Aspen explained that C was waiting for Kody because they wanted their first sight of M in her dress to be together. I get that. 

[trimthatfat]

12 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

LOL, it was mentioned upthread a few times. I am willing to give her a pass because she did it for Mykelti, and it took guts for her to go through with it. She fully admits that she was out of her element.

Although, someone posted a social media comment from Christine where she said she sang two songs and did much better on the one that was not shown. Either she is trying to save face, or TLC insisted on showing the bad song just to give us something to talk about. I want to see footage of that other song!

 

If she sang another song, she should at least mention what it was. I am very curious now! I give her credit for doing something I couldn't do though. She seemed very nervous and it's clear she just wanted to get it over with asap.

Edited February 13, 2018 by trimthatfat

[Granny58]

2 hours ago, MrSmith said:

As for Mykelti's wedding attire, you're absolutely right that she would have looked amazing in a season-appropriate dress and accoutrements. If she'd put a little more thought into it, she could've gone with something like https://image.dhgate.com/albu_286831431_00/1.0x0.jpg, https://image.dhgate.com/0x0/f2/albu/g3/M01/3A/67/rBVaHFaCMOmAP_oqAAM8pGd3KOk816.jpg, or https://i.pinimg.com/736x/99/83/3f/99833f33f012122593d579ee57b0ba31--winter-wedding-ideas-winter-weddings.jpg. And I got all of those with a simple Google search for "russian winter wedding dresses"! There are plenty of other cold-region countries that have equally beautiful and functional winter wedding wear. It's a shame they didn't put more thought and effort into their wedding. It's also a shame she didn't bridezilla a little bit on her groom and force some standards on him.

THESE ARE STUNNING and such a choice would have been so classy and talked about in her family for decades. 

Edited February 12, 2018 by Granny58

[Granny58]

1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

I'm sure she is very aware that bonus mom Meri treats Sol to movie nights, craft and baking sessions, while she looks wistfully on. 

OMG...Seriously????

[riverblue22]

Speaking as someone who won the sixth grade dance contest, I can say that FT is a terrible dancer.  He has the moves, but no grace and no rhythm.  Kody was much better.

And no words for the cake eating scene.  Simply terrible.

The one thing that Tony seems to have going for him are his parents.  Not sure about his siblings. but his parents seem like nice people, although a bit overwhelmed with the St. George and polygamist culture around them.

[Tabbygirl521]

I forgot another moment I enjoyed: Kody telling the wives that he wanted a piñata for his birthday. And it could look like him “or a jackass” and he laughed. 

I wish the sibs didn’t seem so sold on Tony. Dayton really seems to like him but almost as if they are contemporaries. I guess that makes sense, although Dayton seems far more mature. I don’t think Robin likes him and they were all cringing, waiting for the cake smash. (What the hell is that about, anyway? The horrible mom of my twin grand babies insisted on doing that on their second birthday and of course they both cried. One cried so hard he threw up. And they both looked so betrayed. They had these big smiles when they saw the cake, then WHAM. I think it caught my son by surprise too. Thank god they broke up and he has the kids. I DIGRESS. SORRY. )

When Mykelti explained that she asked F(ucking ) T “as a favor” not to smash the cake in her face,I just wanted to pull her out of my TV and have a long chat. I wonder if he mangled the cakes with his fork as some passive-aggressive payback. Ass. 

Mykelti: Remember, divorce is not a sin. Honestly. 

Edited February 13, 2018 by Tabbygirl521

[AZChristian]

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Although, someone posted a social media comment from Christine where she said she sang two songs and did much better on the one that was not shown. Either she is trying to save face, or TLC insisted on showing the bad song just to give us something to talk about. I want to see footage of that other song!

I read something somewhere that made me think that there may have been a performance fee issue if they had shown the other song.  "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" is so old it's in the public domain, so they could use it without paying anything.  TLC does not pay for anything they don't have to.

[LilWharveyGal]

2 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I read something somewhere that made me think that there may have been a performance fee issue if they had shown the other song.  "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" is so old it's in the public domain, so they could use it without paying anything.  TLC does not pay for anything they don't have to.

What?!  *clutches pearls*  But that song has been sacred in Christine's family lore ever since Grandpa first warbled it to Grandma.  Are you saying that they falsified such precious memories for something so tawdry as...monetary considerations?  *gasp*

[Adiba]

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

In Utah, it's not hard to find a bridal shop with modest choices, if that's what the groom wants. ;-)

I thought the same thing— don’t mainstream LDS temple weddings require modest gowns? Mykelti could have picked a gown with some type of sleeve or lacy jacket for a winter wedding and not have had to go far to find it. 

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, LilWharveyGal said:

What?!  *clutches pearls*  But that song has been sacred in Christine's family lore ever since Grandpa first warbled it to Grandma.  Are you saying that they falsified such precious memories for something so tawdry as...monetary considerations?  *gasp*

Maybe Grandpa did legitimately warble it to Grandma.  But it was so long ago that it was free for TLC to use it.  However, the other choice ("Like a Virgin"?) wasn't free.  Plus I doubt that GPa warbled it.  

(JK about LaV.)

1 minute ago, Adiba said:

I thought the same thing— don’t mainstream LDS temple weddings require modest gowns? Mykelti could have picked a gown with some type of sleeve or lacy jacket for a winter wedding and not have had to go far to find it. 

They absolutely do . . . just one more proof that the Browns are NOT any kind of LDS.

[Kyanight]

4 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

The horrible mom of my twin grand babies insisted on doing that on their second birthday and of course they both cried. One cried so hard he threw up. And they both looked so betrayed. They had these big smiles when they saw the cake, then WHAM. I think it caught my son by surprise too. Thank god they broke up and he has the kids. I DIGRESS. SORRY. )

 I find this to be sort of abusive.  I'm not talking about pushing cake into your new bride/groom's face - although personally I don't think it's funny - but the Brown's were laughing about Tony getting his entire head shoved into his birthday cake.  What the heck?  Why is that appropriate behavior to do to someone you love?  And that's tradition?  Traditions in OUR family are more like getting two jumbo shrimp trays from Red Lobster every Christmas eve - something we all enjoy.  I don't enjoy seeing someone with cake in their hair and eyes and up their nose.  To ME, that is just mean and unkind.  "Here's your cake - but no one gets to eat it after you're shoved into it!"

 

I'm sorry your grandbabies had to go through that.

[Tabbygirl521]

8 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

 I find this to be sort of abusive.  I'm not talking about pushing cake into your new bride/groom's face - although personally I don't think it's funny - but the Brown's were laughing about Tony getting his entire head shoved into his birthday cake.  What the heck?  Why is that appropriate behavior to do to someone you love?  And that's tradition?  Traditions in OUR family are more like getting two jumbo shrimp trays from Red Lobster every Christmas eve - something we all enjoy.  I don't enjoy seeing someone with cake in their hair and eyes and up their nose.  To ME, that is just mean and unkind.  "Here's your cake - but no one gets to eat it after you're shoved into it!"

 

I'm sorry your grandbabies had to go through that.

Abusive, absolutely. We grandparents were ready to throttle the “Mom” en masse. 

[UsernameFatigue]

I don't think Christine's singing would have been so bad if she hadn't insisted on singing in a key that normally only dogs can hear. Didn't she have a coach and a guy accompanying her? Why did no one tell her? 

I read some of these comments before I watched the show, and saw several in regards to Kody's hair. Which is always a topic of conversation so I didn't think too much about it. Then I saw what he did to it for the wedding. OMFG! He looked like that guy who is in jail with his wife for keeping their 13 kids prisoners in their own home. Did Kody use a curling iron to curl the ends under, or did someone do it for him? Did no one tell him how bad it looked? OMFG, because it can't be said too often. 

So many horrific things that blinded my eyes, but none more than Tony and his buddy wailing on the pinata of Tony's bride. Which of the sisters did they show looking on in horror? I am sure my face mirrored hers. Worst wedding idea, ever. And with this wedding, that is saying a lot. 

BTW, why was Mykelti so surprised that there were frisbees being thrown across the isle as they walked down it post wedding? IIRC, it was her (their) idea. 

Edited February 12, 2018 by UsernameFatigue

[Lynn]

Madison looked so pale and wan. Her bare white arms looked so cold that I expected her to contract pneumonia on the spot. When they were discussing the bitter cold on the couch before the wedding, Janelle expressed concern about Maddie. I thought the brides maids' dresses were pretty but the whole top was lace and the sleeves were short.

[Pachengala]

This was, bar none, the grossest wedding I have ever seen in my entire life. You guys have covered it all, but can I just reiterate some especially egregious points? 

• If I looked out over my crowd of wedding guests and saw most of them swaddled in blankets and shivering, I would be heartbroken over the shitty, shitty time I had shown them. My god, if you were still rooting a little for this couple before this wedding, their utter disregard and disrespect for their loved ones should have set that ship to sea. 
• There literally were NO SIDE DISHES. People got three tacos, THE END. At our wedding, we had food and drinks available at every point in the wedding, especially those transitional moments like photographs, so that our INVITED GUESTS could be happy and comfortable. If I went to a wedding where they were like, "here's a blanket and three tacos, LOVED ONE" I'd be so fucking appalled that I would actually write a follow-up letter to Mykelti, explaining why they are getting neither a gift nor my continued presence in their life. Your wedding is only about you if you are the only attendees. If you decide to host [400 fucking] guests, now you need to consider them. 
• Tony is borderline sociopath but that wedding was so gross that I don't even care anymore if Mykelti manages to get out unscathed (spoiler: she won't). 
• Hey Christine, the very definition of a "good dancer" is that he's easy to follow. 
• I defy anyone to watch that pinata scene and think, "Yeah, this is normal, this is a sweet couple." That was bone-chilling. 
• The guests were wrapped in coats and blankets THE WHOLE TIME! During dinner and dancing too! Meaning there was never a time that this grotesque sham of a wedding was comfortable! No wonder no one was engaged during the toasts and the cake cutting--they'd all gone into survival mode from cold and hunger. Gah! 
• Look, I love weddings. I love them! I go to every wedding I'm invited to, I always cry, and I always have a good time. I'm hard-wired to see them as a grand gesture of hope and love, and I can roll with the bumps and still think each one was the best wedding ever. So I am speaking from a place of great gravity when I tell you that this wedding was an absolutely disgusting, classless, barbaric horror show, and the fact that Mykelti is basically a hostage doesn't even make me want to walk that back. Eff these two--they deserve the lifetime of misery they're going to bring each other. 

I am a worse person for having seen that. I'm going to go cuddle my toddler for awhile until I can believe in goodness again. 

[EtheltoTillie]

8 hours ago, AmandaUnbidden said:

Oh, and almost forgot, Christine mentioning that they should have piñatas of the new wife and groom at polygamist weddings, and then talking about how great it would be for the old wives to be able to beat the new wife's piñata, as well as their husband's had me dying, only because it actually made sense. Pretty sad but I'm glad that they can all laugh about it now. I'm also glad the adults don't push polygamy on their children and seem to love and support who they are and the choices they make even if their different than their own.

I thought one of the most telling moments was how Kody said a polygamist wedding is never really a happy occasion because the groom is worrying about all the wives (and tacitly acknowledging that all the wives are hating each other with the power of a thousand suns). 

[Lynn]

I thought Caleb was even worse than Tony with the reception dancing. He looked like he was wrangling a calf. But I do enjoy watching Kody and all the Browns dance their wild dance.

I thought Christine looked beautiful.

I think there's every good chance some folks tried to get Christine to sing in a lower key, maybe even the voice coach. I say this because of the firm and stubborn way she talked to the guitar guy about it during their rehearsal.  She was as insistent about her high singing as Mykelti was about her outdoor wedding and pictures.

[riverblue22]

22 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

BTW, why was Mykelti so surprised that there were frisbees being thrown across the isle as they walked down it post wedding? IIRC, it was her (their) idea

The frisbees were not their idea, they were the idea of the pawn shop guy.  It was a surprise to them.

[EtheltoTillie]

5 hours ago, MrSmith said:

You've gotta love Starcasm. This picture really shows just how stupid and stupid-looking these two really are. Perfect!

I recall them talking about the symbolism a time or two. I still feel they act like they're super unique because they give Claddagh rings and that they're among the minority of people who give them, while completely ignoring there's a whole culture wherein the rings and associated symbolism were created. Seriously, if they were appropriating Native American culture the way they're appropriating Irish culture via Claddagh rings, they'd be receiving hate mail and threats.

Okay, this is really mean, but Tony looks like a 50-year-old woman in that picture.

[3girlsforus]

1 minute ago, GussieK said:

Okay, this is really mean, but Tony looks like a 50-year-old woman in that picture.

As an almost 50 year old woman, I am very insulted. 

[UsernameFatigue]

17 minutes ago, riverblue22 said:

The frisbees were not their idea, they were the idea of the pawn shop guy.  It was a surprise to them.

That is odd, because is specifically remember when they were first engaged, Mykelti saying that they wanted the wedding guests to throw frisbees across the isle, because that is how they met so they thought it would be fitting. Am I the only one who remembers this? I am sure I didn't dream it, because luckily my nightmares do not include the Browns. But I remember it because I thought it was such a stupid idea.  

Edited to add - the pawn shop guy may have carried out the idea unbeknownst to them, but I am sure it was their idea to begin with. Which is why I was surprised that they apparently hadn't carried it out, like they did all their other stupid ideas. 

Edited February 13, 2018 by UsernameFatigue

[EtheltoTillie]

Just now, 3girlsforus said:

As an almost 50 year old woman, I am very insulted. 

I'm way over 50, so I hope you can understand. 

[Justaguess]

22 hours ago, LucyEth said:

I wish they would all stop trying to convince themselves that Tony is wonderful.  They are all full of it!

I might be wrong but I really think they are saying this for the cameras.  I don’t Think for a minute they really like him.  

[Lovecat]

9 hours ago, gardendiva said:

Mykelti’s ridiculously labor intensive bouquets symbolize a lot about her. The creation of them highlighted her rather selfish lack of appreciation for other people’s time, and her magnanimous statement to the bridesmaids that the bouquets were theirs to keep showed a deep disconnect between reality and what she believed others should feel about any memento from this tacky shitstorm. She really thought people would put those ugly things in a place of prominence to remind them of the day Mykelti and Tony were joined in holy union. She is delusional.

I loved how she said that she didn't care what the bridesmaids did with their "bow-kays"...uh, sure.  Right.  I'm betting she pitches a fit if she walks into any of those girls' houses and doesn't find that bouquet in a special shadow box, illuminated 24/7 by a spotlight.

8 hours ago, LakeGal said:

Tony was trotting around looking for everyone for photos. He had a huge chain of keys hanging off his belt loop. I hope he didn't keep the keys clanging on his hip during the ceremony. 

I saw that, too!  I didn't notice it after he took his jacket off, but it wouldn't surprise me if he kept them on.  

6 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Even if it is family working behind the buffet, you need to have people scooping the food onto the guests plate. You always set up the buffet with the sides first. Then they go down the line, getting One scoop of every side. The entree is always last, so there is limited space on the plate at that point, and you get the designated two to three tacos.

As for their "cake" bar that Tony just shoved his fork into that cake to eat, I again, just cringed. Please God tell me, they had someone actually cutting the cake into pieces, and not all of those guests using their grubby hands to each cut a whatever size piece of cake that they wanted. That is so unsanitary.

I'm pretty sure there WERE no sides!  I didn't see anything else on anyone's plates, just tacos, and IIRC, at the menu planning they nixed any other sides, just wanted tacos.  Tacos.  And cake.  Cake that the groom had slobbered on already.  What a shitshow.

6 hours ago, Kyanight said:

[Re: the book confetti thing]:   I thought it was really bizarre that they would do that to a book - you can buy an entire ream of printer paper for very little at Office Max / Office Depot / Staples - whatever you have in your area of the country.  But then I considered the source.  (eyeroll).

I planned a wedding last year.  It's a Pinterest thing...girls are making paper flowers for their bouquets out of book pages as well.  Especially those who have Harry Potter themed weddings.  Yes, that is a thing :/

6 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I thought it was a generically pretty dress, but I really don't get why there are so many strapless wedding gowns. In fact, I don't really get the point of strapless gowns in general. They have to be fiitted perfectly for them to be comfortable and stay in place. I don't think the bodice of that dress was fitted appropriately on Mykelti. And I don't know why any woman would want to go around being worried about having a wardrobe malfunction on their wedding day, or any day for that matter. 

There was no way in hell I was wearing a strapless dress.  I had a dress made for me, and my #1 request was SLEEVES.

2 hours ago, Pingaponga said:

Is it a new thing for a bride to insist on how her bridesmaids' hair will be styled and how their make-up will be done? 

It is definitely a thing.  But not in my wedding.  I wanted my girls (2, not a parade) to be happy and comfortable, and to feel beautiful.  They wore dresses from the same designer, in the same color but different styles.  I paid for their hair and makeup, but they decided what their "look" was going to be.  I didn't want Stepford bridesmaids.

 

OK, I read all 7 pages, and no one mentioned the overgrown flower girl??  There was Truely and another little one (Robyn's niece), and then there was a girl who looked to be in her late teens.  I mean, OK, sometimes littler girls need a minder going down the aisle (though I think those little girls would have been just fine), but that third girl seemed like an enthusiastic participant in the petal-flinging.

[Lynn]

The look on Mykelti's face when Tony and his best man were so violently beating the crap out of her pinata was so sad.  It was such a relief when Gabe so efficiently destroyed Tony's.  Such a disturbing scene.  I wonder if that is really a wedding tradition anywhere. I would like to ask Tony's parents.