Season 5 Discussion

[mamadrama]

10 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

We're here for you.  We're all in the same boat.  (Except I've never watched TWD.)

Thank you kindly. I guess I'll sign up to bring the chips at the next group meeting on Sunday. Or, in honor of Nicole, fries. 

[Chickabiddy]

7 minutes ago, Normades said:

Thanks for saying those things about special needs.  According to another poster on this board, Molly said Kensley is special needs.  I've not seen anything to support that stance or Molly's statement.  I'm not comfortable labeling a six year old girl with a term that could be hurtful to her and her family without some evidence, and even then, I'm not sure how much attention it needs since this is more about Molly and Luis.  If she does have special needs, it makes Luis even more despicable than I thought he was (which I didn't think was possible!).  With May, I see things that seem out of the norm for what I remember from three year olds, but I think a lot of that can be chalked up to her lack of stimulation, healthy diet, and structure in her life.  I'm really conflicted on young kids being part of these shows.  There is such a potential for them to be hurt.  

I hadn't thought of the effects for the Arab spring on poverty.  As you said, Azan's family seem to live in comfortable surroundings.  I really loved his aunt.  She was very sweet when she said how much she would miss May.  Nicole's family might want to reconsider their fears for May in Morocco and call Nicole's bluff, at least if Azan's family is part of the equation.  Plus, I think it is just that  --- a bluff!!  Nicole has no intention of moving to Morocco.  My take on their goodbye at the airport was that Azan has reconsidered moving to the US, but was saying nice things to Nicole so that they can continue another season on the show.  Also, I've heard that the foreign spouses do not get paid directly and are dependent on the US partner to share the money.  I think he was playing nice to get his rightful share.  I hope he gets paid directly because he earned every penny of it. 

I don;t know if this has been brought up before, but could Azan be gay? His family does seem comfortable and his Aunt seems little more worldly, and Morocco is not a terrible place. but it very conservative. Maybe  he and his family decided that having him move to the US would allow him more personal freedom after he dumps Nicole. I just don't know. I was really surprised when the aunt said how much she would miss May AND Nicole. Really? I just can't believe that she would be supportive of a marriage between her nephew and Jabba the Blonde, unless Azan needed something desperately. And it's not like Azan is a real go getter who wants to get his green card and set America on fire with his entrepreneurial brilliance. He seems like a really sweet, passive guy who loves his country and his culture. So, why the push to leave with a woman he obviously can't stand? 

 Ok Just a thought. Could be totally off base. 

[Pondlass1]

 The children caught up in these affairs are the ones who suffer most.  Not coming first with your parents has be hurtful. 

But on another note I'm noticing a depressing move in child rearing and I see it all the time at the Mall, at restaurants, etc.  Young children with headphones clamped to their heads staring at tablets or iPad (same as most scenes with little May).  It's sad and surely must have long lasting effects in terms of brain development, speech and socializing.

Azan's aunt appeared to own a nice big home, I don't know where Azan's parents are?  But I don't get the impression he's all that hungry to move to the US.  I really don't understand his motives at all TBH.  I do wonder if he might be gay which would make life in the US a lot easier for him, but then there's  Nicole to deal with.

(I have to admit I've given up on TWD)

[Normades]

1 hour ago, MrSmith said:

I feel bad for her a little bit

It's good you feel bad for Nicole a little bit because she's big a little bit.

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!  :)

[Mrs. Hanson]

43 minutes ago, Normades said:

It's good you feel bad for Nicole a little bit because she's big a little bit.

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!  :)

SNAP!  I spit out my coffee!!

[calpurnia99]

I never heard Molly say Kensley was special needs. The first night in the car ride home when Kensley was yammering away, before she knew Louise, she was really cute and speaking in full sentences. As a mom of a special needs son - who is considered higher functioning- my son was not talking so well at age 6.  I don't see it. As for the swing in the park, those are for children with cerebral palsy, so that is not proof that she is special needs- I also live in suburban Atlanta too and we have many special needs playgrounds here, which were built with special swings etc. She certainly does not seem to have any physical challenges.

Edited December 13, 2017 by calpurnia99

[funky-rat]

18 hours ago, Nowhere said:

That really pisses me off and I hope it doesn't happen often. I've never seen it firsthand and I used to sell shots at my favorite place so I was there often. It does make me angry to hear that. Like, punch a bitch type angry. I'm was just trying to say that most bacheloretes at my spot didn't bring their props and for the most part just wanted a safe place to watch a good show and do some dancing. Let's not think that all straights go to gay bars to make fun of gay men. I love my gay male friends and it's heartbreaking to think of them in situations like that at their own safe place though. Wow. People can be assholes so bad.

18 hours ago, John M said:

Gay bars are for gay people, it is literally our safe space, it's the center of queer culture and politics, we go there to be around other queer people and it is tremendously insensitive to say well I don't want to be around straight dudes so I am taking this space from you, oppressed minority who just wants to have a drink with friends and peer group without fear of being gay bashed.

No one is trying to ban straight people from gay bars but please be sensitive that as much as the no straight guys thing might be appealing to you the bar wasn't designed for you, it is the refuge of an oppressed minority group. It's one thing if you are going with queer people but for a group of straight girls to just show up at a gay bar and claim the space as their own? Do you really not see why that is insensitive?

Now as far as the bachelorette parties, that was just disgustingly inappropriate when we were not legally allowed to get married, it's a giant fuck you to have a party to celebrate getting married in a space for people that don't have that right.

I don't think all straight people who go to gay bars are bad, but it's getting bad for those who want to hang out and not feel like they're being made fun of, etc, just like John so eloquently put it.  I would never go without a gay friend.  As someone above mentioned, I like to feel like I'm a "guest" - like I've been pre-vetted as "OK" or something similar.  Most gay people I know don't mind straights in their clubs - just be respectful.  They're not there for your entertainment, or to grind on because you know they won't get a chubby for you, or any of the sort.

 

 

17 hours ago, jj82 said:

Literally created an account just to respond to the whole Josh and Aida fertility clinic topic. I jumped ahead because I was so anxious to address it, so sorry if it’s been covered! I’m in a similar situation - my husband had a vasectomy in a previous marriage over a decade ago. (Key difference: he told me on our third date, we always agreed we’d work together on how to have a family, and I’ve never told him he’s less of a man while staring pointedly at his crotch.)

Its been too long for Josh to easily get the vasectomy reversed. It’s a low chance of success anyway, and the tubes etc degrade over time. You can get at remaining sperm with a TESE procedure, which is basically a biopsy of the testicle and they get partially formed sperm from the sample. You can’t really get intact sperm to inject into a woman’s uterus and hope they swim up in there - sperm right from the testes aren’t able to swim in the same way that sperm that’s gone through the whole process has. You pretty much have to do IVF because injecting the  sperm right into the egg is the only good way to get them in there. 

My heart was breaking for Aika. I’ve been at that doctors appointment and at her age with a low egg count she is not going to have an easy road. We’ve done three unsuccessful rounds of IVF and we’re done, because I’m 35 and my eggs suck.  We have a good marriage and it’s been very hard on us. They won’t make it through one round.

We didn't qualify for fertility treatments or IVF.  I have anatomy issues that make attempting to carry to full term to be dangerous to my health and to any unborn baby.  Plus the likelihood of carrying to term was slim to none.  We tried adoption.  Domestic was impossible because we didn't have a big enough house (our house qualified for foster kids - go figure), not enough money in the bank, and health issues on both sides of the family (affecting prior generations - not us - they were all heavy smokers and we are not, but it didn't matter), etc.  We didn't even want a baby - we wanted an older child.  Still....no.  We could have gone foreign if we had tens of thousands in disposable money, or private domestic, but the same issues of disposable money were there.  Our only hope was for someone to have a baby that we knew that wanted to turn it over to us.  Never happened.  We have a good marriage and it almost didn't survive.  I feel your pain.

16 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

So childish. I'm old and have probably had more sex than Libby and all the sisters combined.  I'm not a fuddy-duddy, but there is nothing funny to me about the dick whistles and balloons. Just stupid, juvenile nonsense, like high school girls who have never seen an actual penis before.  

8 hours ago, HappyDancex2 said:

its funny how all the penis trinkets annoy pretty much everyone yet they are a staple at bachelorette parties along with sashes and tiaras.  Or is that just TV?  

It's a toss-up.  I've seen some bachelorette party photos online from people I know, and most - at least around here - seem to be more tiara/sash type people, and not so much the trinket crap, but I do see some.  The party that was at the comedy show we went to all had light up ones on springs attached to headbands.  Blech.  Grow up.

[AnnaL]

On 12/11/2017 at 2:29 PM, sasha206 said:

 

I completely agree.  However, there is a part of me that feels sorry for anyone who feels they need to glom onto some awful loser like David to escape her circumstances.  

Uhmmm, I do understand your thoughts. 

I am a much more cynical person, but I can understand how working on a bar giving BJs for a living must be a nightmare, that Annie would be willing to do just about anything to get out of there. I get that. 

Now that she is finally here and well on her way to get her green card, now it is the time for Annie to step up to the plate. 

1) She must NOT get pregnant 

2) She needs to find a full time job to start saving every penny that comes to her hands, and a part time class to improve her English 

3) Increase her network of friends and save enough money so when she gets the divorce, she is good and ready and doesn't need Chris or David for financial support. 

If Annie does all this, then I will eat my words and wish her well, but she doesn't strike me as the person who would be willing to work really hard (and honestly) to provide for herself, her attitude and her words make me think that she has the "victim attitude" and will not hesitate to take financial help from wherever she can get it, including the government. 

[Desert Rat]

7 minutes ago, funky-rat said:

 

It's a toss-up.  I've seen some bachelorette party photos online from people I know, and most - at least around here - seem to be more tiara/sash type people, and not so much the trinket crap, but I do see some.  The party that was at the comedy show we went to all had light up ones on springs attached to headbands.  Blech.  Grow up.

I'm never putting a plastic or rubber penis on my head, never. I can't get that drunk.  

[funky-rat]

1 minute ago, Desert Rat said:

I'm never putting a plastic or rubber penis on my head, never. I can't get that drunk.  

My "bachelorette party" consisted of me and 2 friends watching The Running Man on TV, and relaxing.  That's it.  Not even any alcohol involved.  We're quite the party crowd.

[Bugfrey Von]

Ug, sort of an anti-climactic episode. David Poor is more of a shit than previously imagined, if possible.  Hookers, child abandonment, drinking (that we knew about), possibly other elicit stuff.... what a charmer!  Annie needs to gather her thoughts.  Reach out to Nicki and (gross) Chris and ask for a ticket back home.  You'll have your new gold, the oxen for your family, and the pictures of you at the Hollywood stars....and subsequent sex shop.  For Nicki and Chris, it's worlds cheaper than helping her trudge along with her sauced Prince Charming for the next 10 years.  Cut your losses, folks.  David Poor's daughter was rough, but rightfully angry and it will save Annie her YOUTH.  Get out while you still can.

Luis is a boring ass hypocrite with his love of strippers and porn and drinking.  I really rooted for Molly in this one.  Breaking up would be the best thing for both of them.  I (kind of) understand (while disagreeing with) where Luis is coming from.  Molly's kids are wild, by everyone's admission.  Olivia is snide, Kinsley is a brat.  Luis, growing up in a strict, Pentacostal home, sees all "idols" as evil, and rather than attributing the girls' behavior to their own upbringing, blames things - the Buddha head, the birds, whatever.  He wants o-u-t.  Having said that, like many people who drink the holier than thou Kool-aid, he fails to realize that he has the mentality and motivation of a teenage boy.  Molly wants him to play dad, but doesn't enforce any rules or have any say over her kids.  He can't play dad until she says that's enough.  It's all or nothing with step-parenting - the second the child realizes your opinion holds no weight, party is over.  As far as kids being different in the DR, yeah, I totally see that.  Back talk gets a smack in the mouth with Caribbean kids, that sassy shit is not cute.  If I had spilled ice cream on myself at 6, my mom would have had me clean myself off and ya!  No more ice cream, next time you'll watch what you're doing.  He lost respect for Molly when he saw how ineffective (in his mind) she was with her girls.  It ain't gonna work.

Evelyn and her Spanish beau.  FUN FACT!  Spaniards invented the missionary position.  Get used to it.  FUN FACT II!  David is never leaving Claremont.  These two insufferables deserve each other.  This is what you end up with when everyone is so far beneath you, I guess.  

Josh, she wasn't saying she was going to sex up another guy.  She's saying, so you WANTED me to try with another man?  Past tense.  She said it when he brought up her age.  Why she wants to have kids with this fetishizing gecko is beyond me, but whatever.

Libby lurves the attention she's getting from Andrei and her sisters.  Easy fix for getting your phone taken - don't give it to them.  If they take it anyway, you don't budge until you get it back.  She was getting ready while complaining about her foul sisters.  BE PROACTIVE.  You're not getting my phone, fuck you, try it and I'm out.  

Bunch of jerks, the lot of them.

[Gigglepuff]

Just now, Bugfrey Von said:

Bunch of jerks, the lot of them.

Pretty much. The only people I've consistently liked on this show are May and Aunt Azan. 

[John M]

17 hours ago, sasha206 said:

No question -- there is a large portion of people living in poverty here.  But if some young stud in the U.S. was impoverished and hooked up with a foreign woman who looked and acted like Nicole and was ready to leave the country, I would question that as well.  I would assume that he must think her country offers him more than his own could.  I mean, do you really think Azan is in love with that woman?

I think the ultimate goal is to have US citizenship which conveys tremendous benefits, regardless of our current political climate we are still the most powerful country on earth and much more stable than Morocco or North Africa in general, it would absolutely be a nice escape hatch to have, it's the same reason a lot of wealthy Chinese citizens are trying to get US green cards/citizenship even though they live fabulously privileged lives in China, it's always nice to have an escape hatch. But unless he was LGBT or something like that Azan probably has a pretty nice life in Morocco with upward mobility.

I have no desire to live in the EU but if I married someone from a EU member country hell yeah I would jump through whatever hoops I needed to get citizenship even if it involved living there for a few years, I imagine there is even more powerful motivations for Azan but I don't feel sorry for his situation in Morocco unless he was LGBT, it's a relatively stable country with a functional economy and upward mobility even if it does have issues with poverty.

[Ashlyc]

On 12/10/2017 at 6:50 PM, NinaH said:

Aika needs to get over herself and wanting kids. She's had nearly 20 years to accomplish that and while I think Josh is a loser asshole, this isn't on him.  I wouldn't like being lied to, would resent the hell out of it, but I would also wouldn't be desperate enough to put up with that shit either. 

i think it shows how hard it is in those other countries. so aika youre going to come to the us with someone who is almost a stranger. you know he has kids but has no custody. and that makes you want to have a child with them? idk some people dont think things through. my brother in law, he and his gf. they got pg afte theyd been together a year or so. but she wouldnt marry him. she didnt trust him. so she wouldnt marry him but she wanted to have a baby. they were young 23/24. so time wasnt an issue. that has never made sense. they did end up marrying, and got divorced less than a year later. now they are stuck in joint custody hell. 

Edited December 13, 2017 by Ashlyc

[Palomar]

2 minutes ago, Ashlyc said:

i think it shows how hard it is in those other countries. so aika youre going to come to the us with someone who is almost a stranger. you know he has kids but has no custody. and that makes you want to have a child with them? idk some people dont think things through.

Aika wants kids and knows she has to have them soon or it's not likely to happen.  She is with Josh to accomplish that and to have said child in America with a green card.  Unlike Annie, Aika seems independent enough to start a life here in America with her kid(s) after ultimately divorcing Josh.  Unfortunately for her, Josh is not going to go through with any "reversal" because it is too expensive and he doesn't want more kids.  If he doesn't have his own place for his new bride to be, no way can he afford the "reversal" or fertility treatments.  Still not sure at what point Aika found out about the vasectomy. 

[Ashlyc]

Just now, Palomar said:

Aika wants kids and knows she has to have them soon or it's not likely to happen.  She is with Josh to accomplish that and to have said child in America with a green card.  Unlike Annie, Aika seems independent enough to start a life here in America with her kid(s) after ultimately divorcing Josh.  Unfortunately for her, Josh is not going to go through with any "reversal" because it is too expensive and he doesn't want more kids.  If he doesn't have his own place for his new bride to be, no way can he afford the "reversal" or fertility treatments.  Still not sure at what point Aika found out about the vasectomy. 

yes. i was thinking that too. its not as easy as just going to the dr for IVF. it is costly! there is more at play than just if josh wants to. there is a large cost to it all. who knows maybe they will have a child and its just a storyline.  

[Normades]

I don't know a lot about fertility issues, but from what I've learned on this board, it seems that reversing Josh's vasectomy will not be easy.  If that's the case, I can't see him going along with a donor.  If they do, I can see him being really petty and telling the child that he/she is not really his kid.  He just seems like that kind of person.  If I were Aika, I would want to meet his children and hear them out before I had any future children with him.

[Drogo]

No politics, folks.

[Normades]

51 minutes ago, Bugfrey Von said:

Molly wants him to play dad, but doesn't enforce any rules or have any say over her kids.  He can't play dad until she says that's enough.  It's all or nothing with step-parenting - the second the child realizes your opinion holds no weight, party is over.

I don't agree with this.  I've been in almost the same situation as David Pour's kids and my son is currently navigating the step parent relationship.  I think the step parent needs to build a relationship and trust first and should defer to the parent on issues of discipline.  Now, if the child is being directly disrespectful, they can do something to correct it, but I really think until a real relationship is established, the step parent needs to take a back seat.  I think her kids would respect Luis if he respected them and their relationship with their mother.  Instead he came in like the new sheriff in town and was physically all over their mother.  Molly has forced him and their relationship on those girls.  It's just wrong.  People need time to adjust.  Respect isn't demanded, it's earned.  I do blame Molly more than Luis on this point because I think he might have been more laid back without her constant harping about being a father.

In more extreme situations, I think a step parent has a greater tendency to go too far with punishments, especially corporal punishment (which I don't condone) because they don't have that same connection to the child.  Just my opinion on things I've seen.

[magemaud]

38 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Still not sure at what point Aika found out about the vasectomy.

I thought she said something like he had told her after the first month of online "dating." 

[Mrs. Hanson]

8 minutes ago, Normades said:

Respect isn't demanded, it's earned. 

Per stepparenting - yes it is!  As someone who is in her second marriage, my kids have a stepdad.  Key tip:  Know your role.  You are not the dad, even if bio dad is a jerk living 1500 miles away, you are not the dad.  (My kids dad is not a jerk btw!)  Defer to bio parent on discipline, bite your tongue if needed.  I know the way my hubby was brought up (we were friends as kids) and I know how I brought up my kids - there are differences.  I have told him to take it down a notch at times. 

 

12 minutes ago, Normades said:

I do blame Molly more than Luis on this point because I think he might have been more laid back without her constant harping about being a father.

I do too - Molly needs to cut her losses and move on.  Luis needs to stop being a douche.  Mr Pentacost Religion had zero problem sleeping with a woman before marriage with her kids in the house so......shut it.

 

14 minutes ago, Normades said:

Molly has forced him and their relationship on those girls.  It's just wrong.

Yep - I told my kiddos:  Look you don't have to like Mr Stepdad but you do need to respect him just as he respects you!  Just don't try to go from zero to sixty in three days, people!

[funky-rat]

16 minutes ago, Normades said:

I don't agree with this.  I've been in almost the same situation as David Pour's kids and my son is currently navigating the step parent relationship.  I think the step parent needs to build a relationship and trust first and should defer to the parent on issues of discipline.  Now, if the child is being directly disrespectful, they can do something to correct it, but I really think until a real relationship is established, the step parent needs to take a back seat.  I think her kids would respect Luis if he respected them and their relationship with their mother.  Instead he came in like the new sheriff in town and was physically all over their mother.  Molly has forced him and their relationship on those girls.  It's just wrong.  People need time to adjust.  Respect isn't demanded, it's earned.  I do blame Molly more than Luis on this point because I think he might have been more laid back without her constant harping about being a father.

In more extreme situations, I think a step parent has a greater tendency to go too far with punishments, especially corporal punishment (which I don't condone) because they don't have that same connection to the child.  Just my opinion on things I've seen.

I think the OP was saying that expecting Luis to "parent" but her letting the kids run wild and not doing any discipline on her end is just making it impossible for him to do anything.  If that's what they're saying, then I agree.  It will never work, no matter how hard anyone tries.  But I could be wrong about what they were trying to say.

[AZChristian]

2 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I thought she said something like he had told her after the first month of online "dating." 

I got the feeling that he told her that about the same time he said, "And I'll get you a Porsche and a big diamond ring.  Oh, by the way, I had a vasectomy, but if you really want kids, I'll have it reversed.  No problem!!!"

[Bryce Lynch]

55 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Aika wants kids and knows she has to have them soon or it's not likely to happen.  She is with Josh to accomplish that and to have said child in America with a green card.  Unlike Annie, Aika seems independent enough to start a life here in America with her kid(s) after ultimately divorcing Josh.  Unfortunately for her, Josh is not going to go through with any "reversal" because it is too expensive and he doesn't want more kids.  If he doesn't have his own place for his new bride to be, no way can he afford the "reversal" or fertility treatments.  Still not sure at what point Aika found out about the vasectomy. 

If the doctor is planning on using IVF, that would probably mean harvesting Josh's sperm rather than reversing the vasectomy.  If they are already going to need to go through the trouble and expense of IVF,  sperm aspiration would be much less expensive and much more likely to be effective than Josh having his vasectomy reversed.

[Bugfrey Von]

51 minutes ago, Normades said:

I don't agree with this.  I've been in almost the same situation as David Pour's kids and my son is currently navigating the step parent relationship.  I think the step parent needs to build a relationship and trust first and should defer to the parent on issues of discipline.  Now, if the child is being directly disrespectful, they can do something to correct it, but I really think until a real relationship is established, the step parent needs to take a back seat.  I think her kids would respect Luis if he respected them and their relationship with their mother.  Instead he came in like the new sheriff in town and was physically all over their mother.  Molly has forced him and their relationship on those girls.  It's just wrong.  People need time to adjust.  Respect isn't demanded, it's earned.  I do blame Molly more than Luis on this point because I think he might have been more laid back without her constant harping about being a father.

In more extreme situations, I think a step parent has a greater tendency to go too far with punishments, especially corporal punishment (which I don't condone) because they don't have that same connection to the child.  Just my opinion on things I've seen.

I agree with you completely, I don’t think I articulated my point very well to begin with. I think that we both see the same points, respect for a step parent has to be earned, but in the situation of our star-crossed assholes, this was never going to happen. The girls don’t respect their mother, how are they going to respect a 26 year old Lothario with which they don’t share a language and has ZERO patience with obnoxious behavior from children? (<— I feel like that part is really culture based, as I mentioned before, kids in the DR learn very quickly that back talk is met with a swat.) Disciple should be the domain of the “real” parent, but it’s incredibly frustrating when that parent has zero control. Also, may I add that I hate when Molly says that he has to step up and be their dad? The girls already have fathers (as Kinsely pointed out) and what he needs the be a good step-father, a support for their mother, someone they can come to for advice, who can offer an ear, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Luis took one look at how sour Olivia was with him and how disrespectful Kinsely was and clocked out. He wants nothing to do with anyone in that family, except for Jeff.

Edited December 13, 2017 by Bugfrey Von

[Ashlyc]

On 12/11/2017 at 2:16 PM, Pachengala said:

It's not rare in my experience either. I went out dancing with my girlfriends a couple weeks ago while my husband was out of town for a guys' weekend. It's not until I read here that it would even be considered weird. I don't even think it's weird for Elizabeth--she's just caught up in creating a tug-of-war between her family and her fiancé and has created this situation deliberately. 

ive been to vegas without my husband on multiple occasions. he has been to gentleman clubs without me as well. we both trust each other that we will be faithful and not get into a bad situation without the other present. i think if you have communication and trust theres no issues. if i asked him not to go anymore he wouldnt. idk every couple is different. i dont think its always jealousy either. someone just dont go to clubs or bars. when i go to vegas i drink at the pool. im not a fan of clubs but my sister is. i go but im not looking to hook up but i am socializing. every couple has to work that out. but i couldnt be with someone that wouldnt let me do what i wanted. i am being responsible and having fun. 

[MrSmith]

1 hour ago, Normades said:

I don't agree with this.  I've been in almost the same situation as David Pour's kids and my son is currently navigating the step parent relationship.  I think the step parent needs to build a relationship and trust first and should defer to the parent on issues of discipline.  Now, if the child is being directly disrespectful, they can do something to correct it, but I really think until a real relationship is established, the step parent needs to take a back seat.  I think her kids would respect Luis if he respected them and their relationship with their mother.  Instead he came in like the new sheriff in town and was physically all over their mother.  Molly has forced him and their relationship on those girls.  It's just wrong.  People need time to adjust.  Respect isn't demanded, it's earned.  I do blame Molly more than Luis on this point because I think he might have been more laid back without her constant harping about being a father.

In more extreme situations, I think a step parent has a greater tendency to go too far with punishments, especially corporal punishment (which I don't condone) because they don't have that same connection to the child.  Just my opinion on things I've seen.

I've never been a step-parent and I've never played one on TV, either. However, the successful step-parents I've observed over the years have been the ones who built relationships and trust with the children, leaving the serious discipline to the biological parent(s), and only meting out discipline if the child was about to get themselves hurt (and then only going as far as needed to avert the disaster; not even sure you'd call that discipline). The unsuccessful ones are the ones who didn't care to build relationships or trust and/or who tried to be the disciplinarian, with the latter seeming to be more of a step-father problem ("I'm the man of this house. You will listen to and obey me!"). The connection required for a child to view an adult as an authority figure in their life is forged when they're under three or four years old, and step-parents usually aren't present during that time.

[Drogo]

If anyone wants to continue discussing gay bars and not 90DF, we have a Small Talk thread for that. 

*FYI - the Be Civil rule applies in there, too. 

[mellowjoi]

On 12/11/2017 at 10:23 AM, AZChristian said:

Cost of a sperm donor could be as low as a couple of margaritas at a nearby bar.  A better investment than either reversal or IVF, especially considering Josh doesn't even have enough money to set them up in an apartment.  

In addition to the lower cost at the margarita bar the gene pool would be much better.

[Granny58]

8 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

Nicole is early 20's- if she just made a few changes she would lose weight. I never believed that weight loss was easier in 30's than in 50's until I turned 50. Holy shit I can go a week eating the same thing I ate when I was on a diet in my 20's- only then I would lose 5 pounds and now I gain a pound! Middle aged women, for some reason I cannot figure out the biological reason, the body wants to hold on to fat in the middle section. Women who never had belly fat, suddenly get belly fat. There are some hormones that work to keep weight around the middle- why? It can't be to protect a baby and your reproductive organs. If anyone knows the answer to this, do tell.

Nicole is not trying AT ALL to lose wieght. Wait until she is in her 40's and 50's. Not only that, time goes by, and the longer you are alive, even if you only eat 100 calories a day more than you expend, in ten years that is like 40 pounds (don't feel like doing the math) Even if you don't intentionally overeat and watch what you eat, it is easy to put on 10 pounds a decade- from 20 to 50  that is 30 pounds and you don't overeat, just have one cookie at night.  She will be 400-600 pounds when she is 55, I guarantee it. Most of us who struggle with weight at least understand what we are supposed to eat, at least attempt to get a handle on it, and then slip up by emotional eating. At least I do. I don't get up every day and say I don't give a shit, Imma eat fast food and junk food all day long cause I don't like healthy food.  This is the difference between Nicole and some of the overweight people posting here, I think. 

And some men are attracted to chubby women, Azan is not one of them! It's so odd, but I agree he must have a reason he wants to get out of Morocco.  They both keep saying "we need to try to not fight" It's soooooo stupid. Same old same old. Couples get into patterns and it is almost impossible to change the way you react in an argument without massive professional help and counseling. Just "trying" isn't going to change anything. Idiots.

From what I've read, fat around your midsection is nature's attempt at supplying you some estrogen as your reproductive supplies of it dwindle.  (anybody with real information, please chime in).   So add that to decreased metabolism (less muscle mass = decreased metabolism) and less collagen and it is SO HARD.  Yes, it is possible to stay fit even as you age, but frankly I don't want to work THAT HARD.  I look fine, larger, but fine.  One thing, though, that nobody ever mentions with larger girls who look fine now (in general, I don't mean Nicole) is that  as stated above, you lose collagen and structural firmness so that same fat you are carrying on a tight frame later is hanging on a loose one.  You MAY be able to pull off extra pounds now, but will really have issues as an older woman.  Menopause is not easy.     

 

But yes, agreed, Azan is not in love with her, is not attracted to her, and is using her.  It is why he is unhappy with her while she visits, and then gets nice at the airport - the last thing she sees.  

[Snewtsie]

Ashley - "My dad likes to party. He likes to get drunk and hire prostitutes."

She just described how David Poor & Annie met.

[booboopbedoo]

4 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

It's good you feel bad for Nicole a little bit because she's big a little bit.

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!  :)

Fun Fact- I DO believe she is low on the IQ scale. Probably only went to grade 6 or something. She may be dyslexic or?

What I don't get is her family putting up with her crap and bullying and ACTUALLY supporting her with the things she wants. She is like a pink Rhino just charging and farting while doing it.

Edited December 13, 2017 by booboopbedoo

[Granny58]

6 hours ago, MrSmith said:

This is what I see with Nicole. I don't think there's anything wrong with her intelligence. She just doesn't want to do anything she perceives as "hard" or "challenging". Maybe she isn't very well educated, either, but if that's the case (and I'm not saying it is), then it's easily fixed with some schooling. I feel bad for her a little bit because she has yet to understand that life is much more enjoyable and a lot easier when you stop trying to fight the world/reality. She seems to do some of the things she does specifically because someone else (her mother, father, step-parent, friend, whoever) told her that it's not a good idea. If she'd start thinking about why these things are bad ideas, her life would improve. Of course, doing that requires maturity she does not yet possess and which she will never possess so long as she has her family to fall back on.

true.  It's baffling to me, though, that she doesn't seem to have sought any information on diet or exercise or health.  Even if she didn't wander down to the library or book store, even magazines are full of this information and one can easily Google "healthy diet."  She says it is hard, and changing habits IS hard, but as stated at the top of this page - if she doesn't do it now, boy oh boy, look out when she's older....it'll be so much harder.  30's aren't so bad.  there's still enough hormones to keep things humming, but hit the 40s (I found) and it's all different.  NOW is the time.  

[mellowjoi]

The only thing missing from the Molly/Luis argument was mother Pedro standing the corner stirring a pot of chicken feet while Abby counted the number of undies she has for sale.  I so wanted Whoppie from the movie Ghost to come out of the closet and tell Molly to run.

[magemaud]

I don't think Nicole is the least bit motivated to lose weight, exercise, or eat healthy no matter how much Azan asks her to try. She has continually expressed the reasoning that if he loves her, he should "love her the way she is" and that "she's not going to change for anyone other than herself." Besides, "It's HAAAAARD" and although she won't admit it, it's obvious she's very lazy. The ball is in Azan's court, if he wants a green card badly enough, he has to accept "Big a Little Bit" because what you see is what you get.  I think that now that she's snagged a man who is totally "beholden" to her, she's only going to get worse. 

[millennium]

7 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Y'all, I've become so obsessed with this show that I actually switched over from THE WALKING DEAD'S mid-season finale to watch it.

You switched from the Walking Dead to dead man walking (Azan).

[Eme]

Quote

 

I don't blame Ashley for speaking her peace. 

I had the same kind of father. Except mine worked and didn't need anyone to support him. Anyway, five kids with different women and then raised someone else's kids while ignoring his own.  I had a conversation with him about it and all he did was shrug his shoulders. 

 

Was your father Bruce Jenner?

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, booboopbedoo said:

She is like a pink Rhino just charging and farting while doing it.

Dead!

[HappyDancex2]

I don't think Nicole is motivated to change or lose weight or make a better life for herself because all of her lazy and selfish decisions has landed her on TV with a stipend, eating a bottomless plate of fries, snagging a fit guy who is otherwise out of her league, is able to manipulate her family into giving her what she needs without issue and a toddler who everyone fawns over and she only has to minimally care for and keep the battery charged up on her ipad.   I'm thinking she has a pretty good life by her standards.

[Normades]

3 hours ago, Bugfrey Von said:

I agree with you completely, I don’t think I articulated my point very well to begin with. I think that we both see the same points, respect for a step parent has to be earned, but in the situation of our star-crossed assholes, this was never going to happen. The girls don’t respect their mother, how are they going to respect a 26 year old Lothario with which they don’t share a language and has ZERO patience with obnoxious behavior from children? (<— I feel like that part is really culture based, as I mentioned before, kids in the DR learn very quickly that back talk is met with a swat.) Disciple should be the domain of the “real” parent, but it’s incredibly frustrating when that parent has zero control. Also, may I add that I hate when Molly says that he has to step up and be their dad? The girls already have fathers (as Kinsely pointed out) and what he needs the be a good step-father, a support for their mother, someone they can come to for advice, who can offer an ear, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Luis took one look at how sour Olivia was with him and how disrespectful Kinsely was and clocked out. He wants nothing to do with anyone in that family, except for Jeff.

Sorry I took your comment the wrong way.  I guess it's one of those sore subjects with me, and I apologize if my response was a little over the top!  I agree with you Molly has no control over her children.  Probably because she's been busy chasing men around all her/their lives.  It's sad.  They are beautiful girls with lots of potential, but she puts her needs above their all the while screaming how THEY COME FIRST!!!  Give me a break!!  It's obvious who comes first in that house.  I also think she so on board with this marriage because he's the first person who actually asked her.  I think it was his go to line, but she bought it hook, line and sinker.  She's said multiple times how she's never been married.  I guess the fathers of her children weren't interested.  I really feel sorry for those girls and after last week's tirade from Luis, I am seriously worried about their safety.  Did you notice how she brought up that he drinks all day?  It seemed like that just slipped out in her anger.  I really think there are lots of nasty little things about Luis that Molly is hiding from the public.  So scary!!!

[Meowwww]

Discount Snooki!!   Ya’ll are KILLING ME!!!  

I think David Poor waddles in part because of tons of excess skin.  There’s a shot of them walking in a park from the back, and you can clearly see the form of an abdominal binder type thing.  

I wonde if he has big amounts of excess skin on on his legs, causing him to walk weird?  Just reminds me of what I see on My 600 lb Life. 

[magemaud]

13 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

I wonde if he has big amounts of excess skin on on his legs, causing him to walk weird?  Just reminds me of what I see on My 600 lb Life. 

We'll know for sure if he says "Ow, mah laigs!" 

[HahYallDoin]

On 12/11/2017 at 3:00 PM, balisticnikki said:

If he was smart, handsome and/or talented, he was not like David Poor! (But I suspect in another lifetime David Poor was upper middle class.)

Didn't it seem at one point she was wearing her extensions and all of the hair was smooth? Then suddenly, the extensions were gone and the hair that was left was a frizzy mess?

I think she must have been 'glistening'(after all, she is a southern woman and we don't sweat LOL) a lot during their argument, as evidenced by her turning beet red. She kept covering her face with her hands and then running her hands over her head. I'm thinking the 'moisture' from her hands and scalp combined were enough to release the frizz. 

Either that or the satanic owls in the home conspired against her ;)

9 minutes ago, magemaud said:

We'll know for sure if he says "Ow, mah laigs!" 

Oh my goodness, I just spewed hot tea all over my iPad. I had tried to forget about good ol' James LOL 

They are both from Kentucky. I wonder if they've ever broken bread together at a Chinese buffet. Of course, they probably both love some fraahd raace and reg rolls. 

[magemaud]

4 minutes ago, HahYallDoin said:

Oh my goodness, I just spewed hot tea all over my iPad. I had tried to forget about good ol' James LOL 

They are both from Kentucky. I wonder if they've ever broken bread together at a Chinese buffet. Of course, they probably both love some fraahd raace and reg rolls. 

I've been wondering if your screen name was a tribute to Dr. Now! Sorry about your iPad! 

[Cementhead]

10 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Y'all, I've become so obsessed with this show that I actually switched over from THE WALKING DEAD'S mid-season finale to watch it. And then I watched it again while my mom and I messaged each other about it in real time on FB.

I got problems, folks. 

Watching the show is basically secondary to me reading these forums.  What I am saying here/admitting to  is that I basically watch the show in anticipation of what I am going to read on these boards afterwards.  Because you people are awesome and are beyond clever with your hysterical commentary.

So yeah, I got problems, too!

[HahYallDoin]

16 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I've been wondering if your screen name was a tribute to Dr. Now! Sorry about your iPad! 

Yep, you guessed it :)

My sister told me about this site, and the outstanding snark level to be found, and I began by reading only the M600PL board. When I got ready to add my two cents, I chose a show-centric screen name. A couple of months later I branched out to other shows and regretted I'd chosen that name because people might think I was illiterate. After a while I reminded myself that this is, after all, the internet and you are always going to be judged at some point LOL 

The tea spillage is all forgiven since I love the snark and you, my friend, are good at it! 

[Former Nun]

3 hours ago, Granny58 said:

It's baffling to me, though, that she doesn't seem to have sought any information on diet or exercise or health.

Azan diagnosed the malady several times.  She's LAZY!   (I'm lazy too, but I served my time raising good kids on my own, being active in the community, working  (sometimes two jobs), going to exercise classes, and so much more.  I'm just "tarred out" now, but I recognize the disease.)

[jmonkey]

Molly/Luis: Molly gets MVP for me this episode for not smacking the crap out of Luis after his bizarre lack of God symbolism in her home rant. The restraint Molly showed after Luis said she must be on her period was admirable. Luis is one of those Christians who will swear, look at porn, fornicate, weep in the presence of strippers, and, generally, behave like an immoral jackass and justify it as okay because he prays, wears a cross on his neck, or has a bible on his nightstand. He's such a hypocrite. I think that weird conversation was just a diversion because Luis didn't want to discuss whether or not to to cancel the wedding aka green card. He's so immature that he's incapable of having a serious conversation. He still acts like a child. Luis seems to think that he can just have a relationship with Molly and ignore the kids, but it doesn't work that way. Of course a lot of the blame goes to Molly for bringing him over in the first place and for accepting a proposal without seeing how Luis got along with her kids first.  If Luis has requested that Kensley live with her father, that's the ultimate red flag and that should be enough for Molly to not want to pursue this. They both seemed to think they continue what they had during her D.R. vacation, but real life doesn't work like that.  He's clearly not husband or stepfather material and hopefully Molly sends him home to the DR where he wants to be. I had to laugh when he said he's tried everything with Olivia and Kensley. Based on what we've seen, he's done very little. He doesn't seem to lift a finger around the home other than to take inventory of the home decor. Maybe he should be cooking for Molly since he's not working right now. If he doesn't want to get married to Molly, that's fine, but he can, at least, be a good guest and respectful towards her for paying for his lodging, all those lavish meals, and everything else. It looked like he had a porterhouse and wine at the restaurant. He's been eating good in the neighborhood. The problem is he thinks he's the prize and Molly needs to prove her worth to him even though he brings nothing but sex to the relationship. I laughed when Luis was putting that goop in his hair. Is he bringing back the Jheri curl? No wonder he can't find a proper barber. I really hope Molly doesn't marry this jerk, but I'm afraid they'll go through with it. Molly has repeatedly made bad decisions when it comes to men.

Nicole/Azan: Who knows what Azan's endgame is here? I'm pretty sure he's primarily going to the US for a green card so that he can better support his family, but there's got to be an easier pathway to citizenship than Nicole. I think he secretly wants Nicole to repeatedly mess up by cheating on him, abusing him, and not exercising or eating right so that he can justify dumping her after obtaining the green card. If the person you're scamming is a bad person, it makes it a lot easier to run the scam. And let's face it. Nicole's not going to change or do the things Azan wants her to do, so there will be plenty of fodder for dissolution of the relationship. Azan still needs to tread carefully though. He's still on Morocco soil now, so it's all good. She's sending him money and he just has to entertain her when they're filming at the moment. Once he gets on American soil, it's Danielle and Mo all over again. I bet Azan is pretty pleased with Trump's Muslim ban. I don't think he really wants to go through with the scam, but he has a sponsor now and will go through with it to honor his family. One thing that I've noticed is that Azan is totally relaxed when Nicole isn't around him. I never saw him so smiley and happy than when he was on Skype during the reunion last season when he was a world away from Nicole. And it seemed like an elephant was removed from his back after dropping off Nicole and May at the airport. I just wonder how many 90 DFs it will take before we're done watching these two.

Libby/Andreiiiiii-I agree with Andrei. The American bachelorette (and bachelor) party is stupid. Let's get a pink limo, drink to excess, have a petty argument about a cell phone, hit each other with penis puppets, dance on tables, and woo hoo the whole night. It's like either TLC or Libby's sisters thought of every bachelorette party cliche and included it in Libby's bachelorette party. Why is this even a tradition? I still don't find Andrei to be controlling or a chauvinist. He just wants to make sure his wife is safe. There's nothing wrong with that. He's probably seen some shady stuff as a bouncer and doesn't want his wife to have endure any kind of sexual harassment. At least Libby's sisters didn't force strippers on her. I was totally expecting them not to respect Andrei's wishes regarding that. I get Libby's point about wanting to talk to Andrei the whole night. If you're really in love, you want that person included in what you're doing and it doesn't ruin your good time to communicate with him or her. I would love to see Andrei have a bachelor party with Libby's brother and dad.

Josh/Aika: It is quite clear to me that Josh doesn't want to have a reverse vasectomy or have another kid. He just wants to appease Aika and was relieved to learn that she might have fertility issues. I don't think he'll actually go through with a reverse vasectomy, but he might tell Aika he did it and will then blame her fertility issues when they can't conceive. Josh seriously has no business having kids given that he has been a deadbeat dad to the two kids he already has. Aika really should've picked somebody else who is ready to impregnate her immediately. Yes, a vasectomy doesn't make a man any less of a man, but I thoroughly enjoyed Aika emascualting Josh anyway. I felt bad for the owners of the coffee shop who had to witness that scene firsthand.

David and Evelyn: You wanna talk about sex? Really? These two weren't on very much, but Evelyn still seems intent on selling Claremont to David Spain. The family band will be over practicing at all hours with them just eight houses away. Will David ever get out of Claremont? Evelyn has gotten her way so far, so methinks no. After the sex, she'll have him by the balls.

David Poor/Annie GoldBaht: I loved seeing David Poor getting water thrown in his face at dinner. Who paid for that dinner by the way? Chris again? Anyway, if anyone has earned the right to pile on David Poor, it's the kids he has abandoned. It's absolute hogwash that he came back to Louisville to be with them. He had no other options after Nikki kicked him out of their sweet L.A. pad. He was in no hurry to get back to Louisville. Why did Tobo think it was such a good idea for Annie and Ashley to talk alone? If Ashley is saying rude things about him in front of him, what did he think she would say behind his back? Annie and Ashley didn't get to know each other at all. I wanted Annie to ask Ashley about her boob tattoo, but it was Ashley's M.O. to bash her dad so that she could persuade Annie not to go through with the marriage. Annie seemed shocked that David had affairs with many women. I was shocked too until I realized he probably had to pay to be with those women. Of course Annie will go through with the marriage and become a step-grandma to Ashley's kid. I suppose she could ask Chris or Nikki for a plane ticket home if she wants out of the situation, but I get the impression she's liking America and will stick with the Bahtman for whatever reason.

Edited December 14, 2017 by jmonkey

[Desert Rat]

1 hour ago, Cementhead said:

Watching the show is basically secondary to me reading these forums.  What I am saying here/admitting to  is that I basically watch the show in anticipation of what I am going to read on these boards afterwards.  Because you people are awesome and are beyond clever with your hysterical commentary.

So yeah, I got problems, too!

Yes, yes, yes to this. 100%  The show is stupid AF. Barely watchable.   But the comments are awesome and keep me laughing all week. 

[Jeanne222]

My suggestion to Molly is don't marry Luis.  She could be his sugar momma and just send him things and Bonk him on vacations.

I have never liked him in the house with those two young girls.