S13.E08: Week 8: Hometown Dates

[red12]

Rachel, run don't walk away from Bryan. Do not let your clitoris lead. Do not get involved with this family.

I disliked the tone of the scene where she was dangerously close to trying to convince Peter to propose. Girl, this is the Bachelorette. You are not here to win him. I am also hoping it's producers making her seem like she has to have a proposal or nothing. It's dumb; especially since most of these people don't marry the person they select.

Interested to see her family with these guys.

[Ms Blue Jay]

47 minutes ago, Canada said:

Boy George?  The guy from Flock of Seagulls with the swoopy hair???  We need to know!

Maybe Bowie..... lots of women liked Bowie so it's very understandable?

I agree, Rachel deciding to be this great mediator was so ridiculous.  She has no idea what it's like to have a parent like Dean's father, at least, I don't think she does.  It ain't easy.

[JenE4]

It sounds like the popular opinion is that Peter is the true love and Bryan would be just settling for someone who would take her...and I guess Eric is a non-entity? I see it differently. (well, not about Eric. Sorry, Eric, you have no chance.) I think she's WAY into Bryan. I think he's telegraphed far and wide as The One, and the editors are just working with what they have to try to make someone else seem like a contender. Hence, the voiceovers questioning his commitment. She has pretty much said the same things about a lot of them (Dean and Eric, too, for instance) about not being ready for marriage and questioning their ability to be committed at the end. She by no means seems heartbroken over Peter--she'll gladly go jump all over Bryan. People have mentioned Des and Brooks, but also think about Ali and Frank or Ashley and the guy who owned a trampoline park who was There for the Wrong Reasons. These were all women who had MAJOR breakdowns because they were SO head over heels it seemed like the show might not go on. I don't get that At All from Rachel. Bryan is the one she's crazy about. She's always said the only doubt she had is that he seems too good to be true since day 1 and it's only gotten more intense since then. I'd even go out on a limb and say that she's keeping Peter around not because he's her one, but because she knows he won't get hurt when she inevitably dumps him at the end. Notice that she sends guys home right when they express feelings to her--even going back to Kenny weeks ago. Now Dean this week. Eric is safe because he put a disclaimer on his declaration. She is gaga over Bryan.

[XoxoGG]

Peter is exhausting lol. Run Rachel! Every thing just points to Peter not being it for Rachel. IMO, the guy is just not into Rachel..physically or emotionally. I can't be mad if Rachel picks Bryan just can't. 

[HeyThere83]

I thought Peter looked pretty terrified at the rose ceremony. If he normally tries to stay controlled regarding his emotions, I think he wasn't able to hide it in this case.

[limecoke]

Peter is the only one in this nutty Bachelor/ette world created for TV who is thinking clearly.  Nobody should be ready to propose after only a few weeks (though it does happen in the real world occasionally), but in this environment...NO!  What does it accomplish to demand a proposal, when the majority on this show fail?

Ahhhh..poor Dean.  My heart breaks for a young teen boy who loses mom and gets nothing back from dad.  He must have many emotional issues that need resolution but he'll never get anything from his wingnut dad. That is a tragically fractured family. I wanted to give him a hug then tell him he needs to rethink the Pee Wee suit thing.

However, in the nightmare world of the mother-in-law, Bryan's mom would be a living horror.  If Rachel picks him, I can't see that family dynamic being good because Bryan will always side with mom when push comes to shove.  

I loved Eric's auntie and wonder if she was an influence for good in his life when mom and dad were off the rails.  She was the bright light in the episode.  Eric is a sweetie and I know he won't get picked but I hope he finds a lovely woman who will appreciate him.  All in good time.

Edited July 18, 2017 by limecoke

[dleighg]

5 minutes ago, limecoke said:

I loved Eric's auntie and wonder if she was an influence for good in his life when mom and dad were off the rails.  She was the bright light in the episode.  Eric is a sweetie and I know he won't get picked but I hope he finds a lovely woman who will appreciate him.  All in good time.

yeah, I don't see him for Rachel but he is a sweetie and a just-plain-good-guy.

[meatball77]

3 hours ago, MaryAnneSpier said:

It makes me wonder: for hometown dates, do the contestants all HAVE to introduce the Bachelor/Bachelorette to their parents? Can they just do close friends instead if they don't want their familial issues exposed on TV? 

There have been Bachelor/ettes who haven't introduced the lead to their families and just introduced their friends.  I remember Melissa Rycroft being one of those, didn't introduce her Mother.  But in those cases the family members didn't want to appear.  I bet Dean's Dad was just itching to show his gong to the world to try to get more interest in his Yoga studio.

[TheFinalRose]

41 minutes ago, limecoke said:

Peter is the only one in this nutty Bachelor/ette world created for TV who is thinking clearly.  Nobody should be ready to propose after only a few weeks (though it does happen in the real world occasionally), but in this environment...NO!  What does it accomplish to demand a proposal, when the majority on this show fail?

But the whole point is that it's not real life, it's tv and everyone going on it gets something out of it ... a chance for love or fame or Instagram followers or a maybe even a Breitling watch. We don't need no stinking-clear-thinking gentlemen. We want crazy kids who jump into engagements taking a chance that it Just Might Work.  What does a proposal at the end accomplish? It makes the viewers happy! And some of them ended up being the real proposal, Trista and Ryan, Ashley and JP, Sean and Catherine, Jade and Tanner.  

And happy viewers keep turning back in, and that's what has made the show last for who knows how many years. 

So Peter stumbled onto the wrong show, IMO, and he's looking pretty uncomfortable there too. 

[JenMcSnark]

I saw nothing about Dean's dad that I found cute or admirable.  He seems like an asshole of the first-order to me.  I felt really, really bad for Dean during this whole thing. 

I like Peter, Dean, and Eric equally in different ways.  Don't care for Bryan, but I do think he gives Rachel what she needs.  She called him self-aware, but really I think that the other three are completely more genuine and self-aware.  Peter is the only one to me who seems logical, mature, and genuine about this whole farcical show. 

[catrice2]

So, looks like Peter goes home next week. from the way this board is commenting about what played out  last night.  No way he lasts another week without declaring undying love, and as I said he is going to be the one the family has questions about.   Does that mean they get to talk on the Men Tell All?   Any bets on what he is going to say or if they will announce him as next Bachelor?  

[Broken Ox]

11 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

ive been saying for years they need a fresh search....the bachelor is supposed to be the ultimate guy, a fantasy, and the retreads are boring. 

That needed more than just a like. 

[Venee]

I saw this quote and it certainly describes Peters predicament  " It’s 2017, so people have to defend themselves for being reasonable" Hasn't Peter's position been proven by none other than Rachel herself? She threw out the "L" word to Dean and it didn't mean much in the end....

[catrice2]

3 minutes ago, Venee said:

I saw this quote and it certainly describes Peters predicament  " It’s 2017, so people have to defend themselves for being reasonable" Hasn't Peter's position been proven by none other than Rachel herself? She threw out the "L" word to Dean and it didn't mean much in the end....

Or Rachel not being "open" to Nick until Fantasy Suites....the hypocrisy about this whole thing based upon how she acted on Nick's season is laughable...or like he is the first person in this franchise that has been hesitant.  I really hate this show for playing with people's emotions.  If they do such a great screening they knew Dean had issues, but they moved forward with him anyway....and Lee, and others. Rachel more than anyone knew of Deans issues and she strung him along anyway while she is buying Bryan engagement watches. 

I like Eric, not for myself, but maybe for Rachel.  Honestly I see less chemistry with Rachel and Eric than I do with Rachel and Peter.  Whenever they are together I can see them having deep, meaningful conversations but not passionate sex.  

Who am I kidding?  Dean was eye candy and eye candy is the only good thing about this show..and might I add Eric is so much more appealing with facial hair. 

[lonestar]

I get Rachel sending Dean home. He obviously has a lot of growing up to do before he is ready for marriage.  As for the rest, it seems Rachel is more interested in getting a proposal than a true committed relationship. Peter's mother was honest and correct, in that he is ready for a commitment but not an engagement. I hope Rachel know's the difference.

As for Bryan's mother, creepy. She sat there with her husband and proudly stated Bryan was the most important thing in her life. Must have made the husband feel good!

Eric is a nice guy, The Aun't house seemed staged the way the decorations were placed and Dean's father's house also seemed like it was staged for maximum shock value.

[Ohwell]

I'm tired of seeing retreaded (rejected)  Bachelorettes/Bachelors whom we've seen before.  I want to see new people, dammit!

[catrice2]

11 minutes ago, lonestar said:

I get Rachel sending Dean home. He obviously has a lot of growing up to do before he is ready for marriage.  As for the rest, it seems Rachel is more interested in getting a proposal than a true committed relationship. Peter's mother was honest and correct, in that he is ready for a commitment but not an engagement. I hope Rachel know's the difference.

As for Bryan's mother, creepy. She sat there with her husband and proudly stated Bryan was the most important thing in her life. Must have made the husband feel good!

Eric is a nice guy, The Aun't house seemed staged the way the decorations were placed and Dean's father's house also seemed like it was staged for maximum shock value.

So, I can skip the Dean and Bryan part of the show from what I have read since last night....the Peter part is depressing, but Eric's date is great?  Ok, so where does Eric fall in the show? 

P.S....who am I kidding....I NEVER watch her parts with Bryan unless I catch a clip on something like I did of his mom on E!, or he is in someone else's scene.  They may have the most awesome dates and I wouldn't know it.  I wouldn't have known about the watch except for the board and someone releasing the deleted clip.  You guys recap the dates so well that I can cut down half of my viewing on the days I am home.  I also have yet to see her first date with Dean, or the first episode of the show, and quite a few other things, like the infamous Jack Stone date.  Must watch that one! 

Dean is just so obviously damaged she had to weigh whether or not she had the energy to put into the relationship while traveling around doing the multiple appearances, etc. that go on after the show. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

I would be happy with Peter or Dean being The Bachelor.  Peter is a bit boring, and Dean is a bit young obviously, but at least it would be an actual Bachelor that I would find attractive.  Next to Peter, Ben looks like a huge joke.....  I just feel like there would be entertainment value in women going insane over Peter.  They already are.  Like Olivia went nuts over somebody that looks like BEN.  Ben!  

Edited July 19, 2017 by Ms Blue Jay

[Fable]

Mind you, I haven’t been able to get through a whole season since Ashley and JP, and I have learned not to take this franchise at all seriously, but it seemed like all those HT dates were so very staged. 

Eric and Dean were trying to work out their family issues on their dates…really?  Bryan’s mom just seemed too over the top, because who really says I’ll kill you if my son is not happy the first time she meets someone her son is dating?  I guess it happens, but I wasn’t buying it.  Then with Peter’s family, the mom says, “oh I think he may want kids but not marriage right now” or something along those lines, just didn’t ring true.  Again, I guess it happens, but I don’t see many people wanting to do things that way.  All in all, I thought the entire episode was a yawner. 

I was never able to warm up to Bryan or Dean.  Peter seemed okay.  I didn’t like Eric much to begin with, but of the last men standing, I think, he is now my favorite. 

[kazza]

8 hours ago, fib said:

That said, Rachel pissed me off on this date: she just swooped in from her perfect family life to tell Dean, "dont you think you should tell him you love him?"   Oh hell no Rachel.  You dont get to tell someone their lived experience and their reaction to it is wrong based on your opinion of it.  Your life experience is exactly the wrong kind of experience to rely on to base your recommendations on.  I felt fir Dean a LOT in that moment, because he clearly needs emotional support and was falling for Rachel. So he took several steps he wasnt ready for, ON TV, and then she dumps him?  Ugh.  Here Dean, have a hug.  Rachel owes you a big old apology.  

I am all about the entertainment and wrong reasons with this show, but my heart ached when Dean said he was "legitimately terrified" before entering his dad's house. That is not the feeling of someone whose relationship with his dad can be fixed simply. "Terrified" makes me think something much worse happened than just neglect. Poor guy. 

Aunt Verna should be on every season. What a positive, warm, delightful person.

It's not hard to see where Bryan got his over the top behavior. If anything, it explains why he's so 'on' all the time.

I'm not getting Peter. He's pretty to look at, but that's really it. If he's The One for Rachel, great -- otherwise if he's in the running for the Bachelor, wow, have standards dropped. It used to be the lead was the whole package - looks, great job/life experience, and charismatic. (And I echo an earlier poster's reference to Andrew Firestone. Best Bachelor Ever.)

[Ohwell]

I will say that Eric seems genuine, but I think that he really does need a few more years to mature because right now, he seems a bit too introspective.  Yes, he's had a hard life, he's come from tough beginnings, but so have a lot of people.  It's good that he's done well for himself in spite of his upbringing, but at some point he needs to move the fuck on and focus on being interested in someone other than himself.  Maybe that's why he hasn't had a real relationship.

[bk10]

I finally watched again after my break from the stupid racial drama. 

Dean needs therapy, not a wife. I don't think this show was the best place for that conversation with his dad. 

Eric is cool, but Rachel is not into him. She gives him the driest kisses and I saw her pull away at one point while he was still trying to kiss her. I also think that he's crushing on her, but that's it. They would not work in real life.

Peter is not into her. That "I have black friends" bit was tacky and not needed. He bores me and I think she should have sent him home.

Bryan's mom is crazy and when he and Rachel break up, it will be because of her. He doesn't know how to stand up to her. My sisters and friends say I won the mother in law lottery because mine sat me down and said that she could never be what I am for her son. She raised him and loves him, but she can't fulfill my role in his life and she would never try to come in between us in any way. She never scared me and never made feel like I had to be a certain way. I love my mother in law and I love my husband's relationship with her. He was her only child and she managed not to smother him or threaten to kill me.  I will never understand mothers who keep their sons from living and growing their own families the way they want to. 

I don't think Rachel should pick any of these men. I can't see it working out with anyone of them based on what we've seen so far.

[sistersledge]

8 hours ago, dleighg said:

Being far older than what I assume is the age demographic of fellow commenters is here, I was really put off by his mother's "He'll probably have kids with you, but isn't ready to get married" bit.  It's just sad that making babies with someone these days ranks second in what is now considered as a "commitment".

I thought that's what she said! I wasn't sure if I was hearing things, what a sad statement.

[bk10]

I also wanted to add that Rachel should really consider adding a bundle to that weave. It's too thin!! She should also stop with the middle part and work hard to blend her natural hair with her weave. We should not be able to see the separation. Sorry girl, I still think you're cute as hell!

[clubsauce]

Was Dean wearing skinny sweatpants? And dress shoes? Dress booties? That was really confusing. 

[HappyDancex2]

13 hours ago, Alapaki said:

How do you say STFU in "gong"?

OK that made me laugh.  HARD.

Poor Dean.  He didn't have to even try to have the conversation with his dad but he tried.  It looked like his dad was almost going to say something meaningful to Rachel but remembered he was on camera and it was a TV show so he decided to not give them the "moment."  He basically said if she chose Dean he'd give her the time of day but he wasn't investing anymore into the show.  Thanks Dad!!

I learned why Bryan is single at his age.  I thought it was going to be him and his Miyyammmii lifestyle.  Nope.  It's mamma.

[Ms Blue Jay]

I've always wanted to have kids, but I'm not sure I've ever cared to get married.

What is the divorce rate in the US?  Far over 50%?  (Google says 50%.)
I can't just have kids at any age.  I can get married at age 100 if I want.  I'm at the point where I'm envying Teen Moms and anyone who had their first kid when they were a teen.  I've desperately, always wanted to have a kid and I may never get that chance when I'm able to and that's terrifying.

So that is why I personally understanding caring more about having kids with someone, rather than marriage.

If I have a child with someone and it doesn't work out with the father of the kids, ok.  But I don't know how anyone can convince me that getting a divorce is somehow 'better' than that scenario.  And since it's a 50/50 shot, well, who can say that marriage is this solid commitment or perfect end goal?  I think in the future, (I hope, but I don't think I'm right unfortunately) that marriage will be looked as less as this perfect end goal.  Unfortunately I think the billion dollar wedding industry in North America proves me wrong.  I wonder if in Europe it's totally different.

Marriage being reversible while having kids is not, shows how much more serious having a child with someone is anyway.  Marriage being so-called 'reversible' does not make it some attractive commitment to me.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Ms Blue Jay

[backformore]

12 hours ago, fib said:

That said, Rachel pissed me off on this date: she just swooped in from her perfect family life to tell Dean, "dont you think you should tell him you love him?"   Oh hell no Rachel.  You dont get to tell someone their lived experience and their reaction to it is wrong based on your opinion of it.  Your life experience is exactly the wrong kind of experience to rely on to base your recommendations on.  I felt fir Dean a LOT in that moment, because he clearly needs emotional support and was falling for Rachel. So he took several steps he wasnt ready for, ON TV, and then she dumps him?  Ugh.  Here Dean, have a hug.  Rachel owes you a big old apology.  

I agree.  She had no idea of what Dean went through, and Dean's father didn't seem to understand it either.  Not seeing his father for a length of time, he doesn't have to declare his love until he feels it and wants to say it.   

I felt the whole reunion with dean's dad was set up to tell the story on TV, and they weren't going to let up until they got some real tears.   I dislike how the show treated him.  Dean could have had a hometown visit where they hung out with friends, and just said he was estranged from his family. 

[Venee]

Just now, bk10 said:

I also wanted to add that Rachel should really consider adding a bundle to that weave. It's too thin!! She should also stop with the middle part and work hard to blend her natural hair with her weave. We should not be able to see the separation. Sorry girl, I still think you're cute as hell!

Did you see the style for the final rose ceremony when   she's on top of that windy hill? Whomever styled her hair there should be fired. With it being windy, why not go with something half up and the rest down?

[backformore]

11 hours ago, peachmangosteen said:

I struggle to understand why Peter came on the show if he is so obviously put off by getting engaged so quickly. My sister said after he had his little talk with his friends, "This seems like a Bachelor audition." I still like him though.

Maybe he's just not head over heels in love with Rachel.   The fallacy of the show is that all the men are required to be in love, and ready to propose, by the end of the show.  You can sign up for the show, and be WILLING to fall in love, but that doesn't mean you WILL fall in love.  

Peter could be fine with the hypothetical idea of proposing IF he finds the right person and is ready to take that step.  But he's smart  not to talk himself into love and marriage if he's not feeling it's right.  If he's not head over heels, in love and wanting to get married, then the hypothetical idea of proposing doesn't  matter.  IT's actually ridiculous, if you think about it  - all 4 of these guys ready to propose marriage if they get chosen?  

[Venee]

Just now, Ms Blue Jay said:

I've always wanted to have kids, but I'm not sure I've ever cared to get married.

What is the divorce rate in the US?  Far over 50%?  (Google says 50%.)
I'm nearing the age where I may have to eventually give up my dream of ever having kids.  I can get married at age 100 if I want.  I'm at the point where I'm envying Teen Moms and anyone who had their first kid when they were a teen.  I've desperately, always wanted to have a kid and I may never get that chance when I'm able to and that's terrifying.

So that is why I personally understanding caring more about having kids with someone, rather than marriage.

If I have a child with someone and it doesn't work out with the father of the kids, ok.  But I don't know how anyone can convince me that getting a divorce is somehow 'better' than that scenario.  And since it's a 50/50 shot, well, who can say that marriage is this solid commitment or perfect end goal?  I think in the future, (I hope, but I don't think I'm right unfortunately) that marriage will be looked as less as this perfect end goal.  Unfortunately I think the billion dollar wedding industry in North America proves me wrong.  I wonder if in Europe it's totally different.

Marriage being reversible while having kids is not, shows how much more serious having a child with someone is anyway.  Marriage being so-called 'reversible' does not make it some attractive commitment to me.

that 50% number is a myth  https://qz.com/306166/the-divorce-stat-that-just-keeps-cheating-50/

Edited July 19, 2017 by Venee

[backformore]

6 hours ago, HeyThere83 said:

I thought Peter looked pretty terrified at the rose ceremony. If he normally tries to stay controlled regarding his emotions, I think he wasn't able to hide it in this case.

Yes, but was he terrified of NOT getting a rose?  Or GETTING one?  

53 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

What is the divorce rate in the US?  Far over 50%?  (Google says 50%.)

@Venee beat me to it,   It's one of those statistics which was misinterpreted and then repeated.    There was a study that found for every 100 new marriages there were 50 new divorces, leading to the false conclusion that 1 out of 2 marriages ends in divorce.   They didn't account for the already married people - they only counted new marriages.  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/30/divorce-rate-50-percent_n_6396922.html

https://jezebel.com/that-50-percent-divorce-statistic-hasnt-been-true-for-a-1665833364

though the statistic has been so often repeated, that it's impossible to get people to believe it's never been true. 

As to the question of why get married  - women who want children get a certain amount of financial protection when they are married.  A commitment to a child is a much greater commitment than marriage. 

Edited July 19, 2017 by backformore

[LennieBriscoe]

Dean's father is an eccentric. Dean is for several reasons not ready for marriage. 

Bryan's mother is Marie Barone** on steroids. Bryan will thus never be attractive as husband material. 

Eric IMO has excellent qualities. But he seems somewhat less mature than Rachel.

And no matter that I've seen all episodes but the first, Peter for me blends into Bryan and I forget whatever it is I just watched with him. Or maybe I simply keep nodding off. 

**"Everybody Loves Raymond"

Edited July 19, 2017 by LennieBriscoe

[Irlandesa]

So I finally watched the episode, as opposed to talking in generalities about it.  Since this is the first season I've seen home town dates, I was struck by how relaxed these guys were.  Eric was even more bubbly (maybe not the right word but relaxed). And amazingly, even though there were a bazillion people there, the family meeting felt like the least stagiest thing this show has done.  I've always thought Peter was handsome but he practically glowed at the Farmer's Market.  And his interactions with his friends hinted at a sillier side than we've seen.  Bryan seemed like Bryan and he's usually very chill so I didn't notice much of a difference. 

And that's why Dean's date was so stark in contrast.  He looked the opposite of relaxed.  He would probably rather be back in the mansion with too many people than with his father again. It was just a brutal episode because, for whatever reason, he went forward with a meeting he clearly wasn't prepared to have even without cameras.  Or his father wasn't ready to have.  Then to follow that up with Rachel cutting him.  Just brutal.  I wonder if the producers guaranteed Dean to this point if he agreed to meet with his father.  The idea of mining family drama with a man who calls himself Parumprump(?sp) would be too juicy for them to pass up.  But it clearly would have been kinder to cut him earlier.  On a shallow note, I almost didn't recognize Dean at the rose ceremony.  He looked different to me for some reason.

As for the parents:

After reading the comments here, I thought Peter's mom would straight out say that he was ready for kids and not marriage.  And yeah, that's kind of what she said.  But I also saw some wiggle room for an alternate interpretation in that he's ready for the family but not ready to actually propose yet.  So sort of the general readiness and the right now, you, readiness.  It's funny because even though the words that came out of her mouth basically said "my son is ready for kids but not an engagement," I just do not think that's what she meant to imply. Maybe a friend would say something like that but I do not see a mom who seems to have had a traditional marriage and another son who did the marriage + kids route reach that conclusion about her kids even if she doesn't judge those who do things the opposite way.  Not that it matters because Rachel is very clear about what readiness she wants.

As for Bryan's mother, it was actually worse than what I had imagined when I read this thread.  So much worse.  She was all smiles when she met Rachel but the look on her face when they were talking about the first time they met was not a happy look.  And then the tears already?  The lady was freaked the fuck out that he might find someone who could supplant her as Bryan's number 1 lady in a way that a bunch of randoms couldn't.  I want so many details about what this other woman did that clashed with Bryan's family. They seemed all very happy to lay the blame at her feet but there were so many red flags.  So many.  Like when Bryan's mother was talking about how the woman Bryan marries is marrying in his/their family.  Rachel enthusiastically agreed with that POV because she thinks whoever she marries is going to marry into her family as well.  That segued directly into Bryan's mother, again, reiterating that no woman should take her baby away from her. 

When you add the post-credits scene where the mother worries about how skinny he is and how she didn't like what the barber did to his hair--how his local barber is so much better, it was pretty clear that "taking her baby away" wasn't just an emotional concept.  It was a physical one as well.  In other words, anything less than moving to Miami would be seen as Rachel taking her baby away. Even though, looking at their careers, it's probably easier for him to move.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Irlandesa

[LennieBriscoe]

Re: Bryan's mother--- Bryan's wife can FORGET spending any Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or his birthday somewhere other than at Casa Mamacita. Ever. 

[bleiby73]

5 hours ago, bk10 said:

Peter is not into her. That "I have black friends" bit was tacky and not needed. He bores me and I think she should have sent him home.

So I agree that Peter is a bit boring, but those are his actual friends. My co-worker was friends with Peter when he lived in Madison and those are his friends. It wasn't made up for the show.

[rebel2u]

It seems grossly unfair that TPTB forced Dean on his HTD (and I say forced because he seemed absolutely terrified at the prospect)  to visit his dad whom he hadn't seen in years and with whom he had unresolved issues, while Rachel, as a contestant on Nick's season, got a pass on having her dad on camera.  If they have allowed one contestant on HTD to not have the dad involved, for whatever reason, then I think they should allow another contestant to have a visit sans dad, also.

Since I read that Rachel was pegged early on in Nick's season to be the potential first black bachelorette, I'm thinking that maybe she got some concessions that Dean didn't rate.  

[waving feather]

Are parents-in-law really a dealbreaker if the couple love each other and is compatible? Because 9 out 10 couples I know in real life who are happily married do not get along 100% with their in-laws. In my opinion, as long as the couple DO NOT live together or near the in-laws, it doesn't impact their life much. Just grin and bear with it for the twice a year visits during the holidays. 

[Suzysite]

Quote

I'm tired of seeing retreaded (rejected)  Bachelorettes/Bachelors whom we've seen before.  I want to see new people

I see your point, but having a lead we've gotten to know is exactly what sucked me into this franchise.  I started watching during Emily's season when nothing else was on during the summer, and then naturally I wanted to see how Sean did.  Then Des, etc.   They know what works.   If they had introduced an unknown it would have been time for me to bow out.

Edited July 23, 2017 by Suzysite

[nlkm9]

11 hours ago, Broken Ox said:

That needed more than just a like. 

not only that, but the show has morphed into people who want to either be the lead or get into the other shows--a fresh face would be great!!! the bachelor has become like the real world show. 

its really too bad.

[Lamb18]

On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 9:06 PM, JenE4 said:

Well, damn, Bryan just won me over, too! They had a lot of fun on their "real Miami" date--aside from giving Rachel a concussion by dipping her head into someone else's while dancing.

They didn't run into Corrinne by any chance, did they?

[LennieBriscoe]

waving feather, Does Bryan strike you as one who would make only "twice a year" visits to his mother?

[cbetsky]

5 hours ago, waving feather said:

Are parents-in-law really a dealbreaker if the couple love each other and is compatible? Because 9 out 10 couples I know in real life who are happily married do not get along 100% with their in-laws. In my opinion, as long as the couple DO NOT live together or near the in-laws, it doesn't impact their life much. Just grin and bear with it for the twice a year visits during the holidays. 

If both partners agree to distance themselves, it can work. However, from what we've seen, that's not going to happen with Bryan any time soon. And mommie dearest strikes me as the type to insist upon moving to wherever it takes to stay close to her precious love of her life. 

[fib]

6 hours ago, waving feather said:

Are parents-in-law really a dealbreaker if the couple love each other and is compatible? Because 9 out 10 couples I know in real life who are happily married do not get along 100% with their in-laws. In my opinion, as long as the couple DO NOT live together or near the in-laws, it doesn't impact their life much. Just grin and bear with it for the twice a year visits during the holidays. 

Yup.  

"Problems with your inlaws" vary greatly in size and scope.  If your partner hasnt figured out that he/she needs a backbone and needs to stand up for his chosen partner in life against the demands of his family, then there isnt a ton of hope for the relationship.  These relationships rarely make the marriage stage, but when they do, they are a complete shit show.  

[waving feather]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

waving feather, Does Bryan strike you as one who would make only "twice a year" visits to his mother?

I have no idea because I don't know Bryan or his mother personally. Anyway, my point is as long as the couple set boundaries for both sides of in-laws and don't live with them, things are easier to deal. It's only when people live with each other that they start to pick faults in each other easily, especially for in-laws. So, for me, no matter how awesome my in-laws may be, I would not want to stay under one roof.

[comosedice]

13 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I'm tired of seeing retreaded (rejected)  Bachelorettes/Bachelors whom we've seen before.  I want to see new people, dammit!

Nothing wrong with a familiar face among 25-30 strangers. I have no issue with this.

[himela]

I haven't finished the episode yet but I had to comment on Bryan. Now I know what bothers me with him! He is Greek! And I say this with all my love cause I'm Greek too and I love my country and our people etc BUT these greek mothers... damn they change continents and they still remain this obsessed and controlling women with their sons! It's amazing to see that and identify with it so much. This woman must be away from Greece for like 30 years or so but she still IS like her mother and grandmother was with their boys. Urg it was so hard to watch that, a mother saying that her son is her god and of someone hurts him she's gonna kill them (I bet she was not "kidding" entirelly). What is wrong with these women? Hasn't the american culture done you any good? Hasn't it opened your mind a bit? God! Rachel, I'm gonna say one thing: RUN. RUN. RUN.

[comosedice]

7 hours ago, bleiby73 said:

So I agree that Peter is a bit boring, but those are his actual friends. My co-worker was friends with Peter when he lived in Madison and those are his friends. It wasn't made up for the show.

Yup, on Instagram he showed a picture with one of his friends and captioned it with something along the lines of it being their 10-year anniversary as friends.  I would bet that Peter felt compelled to mention that out of his 10 friends eight are black because Rachel asked him if he has ever dated a black woman. I personally think he has very strong feelings for Rachel and that was why he wanted his friends to meet her and accept her.  Why are people so intent on finding things to hate about Peter?

[JudyObscure]

I don't understand Peter's mother at all.  If my son had my grandchildren without benefit of marriage I would be very worried for them and myself.  Couples who live together verses get married are five times more likely to split up than the married couples.   Then, or when, the mother decides to take the kids and go across the country with another man, the father has even less chance of getting custody or regular visitation than the divorced father, and that's already heavily skewed in favor of the woman. 

That man she goes off with?   Way more likely to abuse the children than the bio dad.  The kids growing up with the single mother will then be far more likely to live in poverty, drop out of school, have teen pregnancies, make lower grades, end up in prison ... the list goes on and on.  I'm not judging, all sorts of stuff happens that we can't for see, I was a single (divorced) mother myself,  but why deliberately start out with the odds against you and your child?  Even if Peter and Rachel got divorced a few months after the baby was born, he would have at least had a chance to bond with the baby. 

Just imagining the cuteness of Peter/Rachel babies has made me all broody.

[comosedice]

13 hours ago, Fable said:

Mind you, I haven’t been able to get through a whole season since Ashley and JP, and I have learned not to take this franchise at all seriously, but it seemed like all those HT dates were so very staged. 

Eric and Dean were trying to work out their family issues on their dates…really?  Bryan’s mom just seemed too over the top, because who really says I’ll kill you if my son is not happy the first time she meets someone her son is dating?  I guess it happens, but I wasn’t buying it.  Then with Peter’s family, the mom says, “oh I think he may want kids but not marriage right now” or something along those lines, just didn’t ring true.  Again, I guess it happens, but I don’t see many people wanting to do things that way.  All in all, I thought the entire episode was a yawner. 

I was never able to warm up to Bryan or Dean.  Peter seemed okay.  I didn’t like Eric much to begin with, but of the last men standing, I think, he is now my favorite. 

I don't quite get what is wrong with what Peter's mother said. She said her son was mentally and emotionally ready for a commitment and for kids. What this meant to me was that he was mature and able to take on these responsibilities at this time in his life. On the other hand, he was not ready for a proposal or marriage now because he has doubts and questions about his relationship with Rachel. This makes perfect sense to me. People are acting like she said he was anti-marriage or not husband material.