Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp

[Ijustwantsomechips]

So it’s cold enough for mom to wear a jacket but warm enough for the baby to go barefoot? Make it make sense. 

[Lady Whistleup]

I find it really weird that Joy follows Austin to work. She's not helping out or anything. She's just there watching him work. 

Most spouses don't do that -- there's usually an understanding that work is work and family is family, and if someone is working not to interrupt that person.

Reminds me of how Jill would want to massage Derick while he was trying to study.

[floridamom]

How is it that Joy has time to follow Austin around during his work day? One would think that with a husband, 2 children and a household to take care of, laundry, cooking, cleaning and shopping would take up most of her day....IF she does those things. I know it took up most of my day.

[GeeGolly]

7 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I find it really weird that Joy follows Austin to work. She's not helping out or anything. She's just there watching him work. 

Most spouses don't do that -- there's usually an understanding that work is work and family is family, and if someone is working not to interrupt that person.

Reminds me of how Jill would want to massage Derick while he was trying to study.

37 minutes ago, floridamom said:

How is it that Joy has time to follow Austin around during his work day? One would think that with a husband, 2 children and a household to take care of, laundry, cooking, cleaning and shopping would take up most of her day....IF she does those things. I know it took up most of my day.

I believe Joy said something like it had been a few weeks since they had been to the building site, so I'm guessing its not a daily thing. No one else was around and the site looked fairly picked-up, which has me thinking it might have been at the end of the day.

 

[Cinnabon]

Joy has time to follow Austin around, yet said in a recent SM post that she “tries” to teach Gideon some things every day for a few minutes, but doesn’t always have the time. 😐 When he gets a year or 2 older her “homeschooling” will only last 30 minutes a day. 

Edited November 16, 2021 by Cinnabon

[ozziemom]

Homeschooling for 30 minutes is about average for a Duggar I would guess. I can’t imagine Jessa spends much time with Spurge or Henry. Is Giddy in between Henry and Ivy age wise? Maybe they can take turns “teaching”

[awaken]

18 hours ago, floridamom said:

How is it that Joy has time to follow Austin around during his work day? One would think that with a husband, 2 children and a household to take care of, laundry, cooking, cleaning and shopping would take up most of her day....IF she does those things. I know it took up most of my day.

Laundry? Cooking? Cleaning? Surely you jest 😂

[ozziemom]

Whenever Joy posts about how busy she is, she usually says she’s running errands. Whatever that means. 

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

Whenever Joy posts about how busy she is, she usually says she’s running errands. Whatever that means. 

Who’s going to tell her that a huge number of women work full time AND run errands? 😆

[Madtown]

She’s been home with sick kids and sick husband. 

[sheshark]

Hopefully not covid, again.

[Lady Whistleup]

I wonder if Joy is vaccinated. I doubt it.

[floridamom]

Joy is an at home wife and mother...still no need for her house to be such a mess. She has the time to clean up after herself and do the dishes. I believe she just doesn't possess any good time management skills. After all, this was NOT practiced at her parents' house.

[Madtown]

12 hours ago, sheshark said:

Hopefully not covid, again.

She said the kids and Austin had colds, but who knows. She said she had to get out for a bit and took Gideon to get coffee and he wanted a hotdog.

[galaxygirl76]

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

Joy is an at home wife and mother...still no need for her house to be such a mess. She has the time to clean up after herself and do the dishes. I believe she just doesn't possess any good time management skills. After all, this was NOT practiced at her parents' house.

That pile of dishes doesn't look like a one day amount, even for 4 people. 

[GeeGolly]

Huh, when my kids were sick my house was actually cleaner then usual. First because I wanted to clean the germs up so no one else would get sick. Secondly because I was forced to be home for an extended period of time. And thirdly, because my kids slept more and played less when they were sick, so I had more undistracted time.

[Cinnabon]

3 hours ago, Madtown said:

She said the kids and Austin had colds, but who knows. She said she had to get out for a bit and took Gideon to get coffee and he wanted a hotdog.

How would they know unless they got tested? I’m sure they’re spreading whatever virus it is all over.

[BigBingerBro]

[SMama]

39 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Joy pronounces penne in an unusual way. Check out her video.

Edited November 18, 2021 by SMama
Punctuation

[BitterApple]

Are my eyes deceiving me or did Joy have crumbles of raw hamburger meat mixed in with the cooked pasta? Did she also pronounce penne as "panini" or was it weird editing due to the clipped nature of Instagram stories?

I'm trying to say this delicately, but I think she's mentally slow. You can be competent without having lots of formal education, but Joy strikes me as someone who needs to be told when to blink. 

[SMama]

1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

Are my eyes deceiving me or did Joy have crumbles of raw hamburger meat mixed in with the cooked pasta? Did she also pronounce penne as "panini" or was it weird editing due to the clipped nature of Instagram stories?

I'm trying to say this delicately, but I think she's mentally slow. You can be competent without having lots of formal education, but Joy strikes me as someone who needs to be told when to blink. 

It sounded like penni to me.

[emmawoodhouse]

I got pen-NEE. 

[BigBingerBro]

[P2C2E]

She looks like a Howler here. Jackson? I can't keep them straight.

[GeeGolly]

Ohhh, little Evie Mae looks like she feels like shit. Poor thing.

[Lady Whistleup]

I have to wonder if Joy is depressed. When I'm depressed I struggle to keep my apartment clean.

[BitterApple]

15 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I have to wonder if Joy is depressed. When I'm depressed I struggle to keep my apartment clean.

It wouldn't surprise me. Most of her posts read like a cry for help. 

[Cinnabon]

28 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I have to wonder if Joy is depressed. When I'm depressed I struggle to keep my apartment clean.

I struggle all the time. What I don’t do is post pictures of my mess for millions of strangers (or even friends) on SM.

[GeeGolly]

Having a messy house certainly can be a byproduct of depression. But its a sign of depression only if you kept a clean house to begin with and the struggle to keep it clean is ongoing.

[Cinnabon]

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Having a messy house certainly can be a byproduct of depression. But its a sign of depression only if you kept a clean house to begin with and the struggle to keep it clean is ongoing.

Yep. Some of us ADHD and other types are simply not skilled at housekeeping and it doesn’t mean we’re depressed.

[Zella]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Having a messy house certainly can be a byproduct of depression. But its a sign of depression only if you kept a clean house to begin with and the struggle to keep it clean is ongoing.

Yes exactly. This has come up with Jessa too. But being a slob is not an innate symptom of depression. It's the change in behavior that is. If somebody is a really tidy person who suddenly can't be bothered to do basic housekeeping, that's a huge red flag. Always being shit at housekeeping out of ignorance or indifference is quite different. 

[BigBingerBro]

Did they ever actually clean the at the TTH.  It seems they "straightened things up" and put away clutter.  They once showed one of the howlers trying to find a spelling book and he finally found it buried in a spare room literally filled with boxes and other assorted crap they just threw in there to get it out of the view of the cameras.  I have a feeling that Grandma Mary might have done some actually cleaning and perhaps they hired a cleaning crew to come in pre-filming on occasion.  Other than that I doubt any of the kids had any actual experience in keeping a home clean, thus the frequent posts where their homes look like wrecks.

[Zella]

1 minute ago, BigBingerBro said:

Did they ever actually clean the at the TTH.  It seems they "straightened things up" and put away clutter.  They once showed one of the howlers trying to find a spelling book and he finally found it buried in a spare room literally filled with boxes and other assorted crap they just threw in there to get it out of the view of the cameras.  I have a feeling that Grandma Mary might have done some actually cleaning and perhaps they hired a cleaning crew to come in pre-filming on occasion.  Other than that I doubt any of the kids had any actual experience in keeping a home clean, thus the frequent posts where their homes look like wrecks.

Yeah just based on what I see on their social media, I don't think any of them actually know how to cook or clean, which indicates to me that it is a systemic issue in the family and that nobody actually took the time to teach them. I am not a domestic goddess myself, but there are basic standards of cleanliness and housekeeping norms that they seem entirely innocent of.  

I've always just assumed they BS'd their way through their assigned jurisdictions without much adult guidance. 

Edited November 20, 2021 by Zella

[ozziemom]

2 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yeah just based on what I see on their social media, I don't think any of them actually know how to cook or clean, which indicates to me that it is a systemic issue in the family and that nobody actually took the time to teach them. I am not a domestic goddess myself, but there are basic standards of cleanliness and housekeeping norms that they seem entirely innocent of.  

I've always just assumed they BS'd their way through their assigned jurisdictions without much adult guidance. 

Speaking from experience with kids BS’ing their way through chores, the girls probably were never in a rush to finish cos there’s always another chore. And we know Meechelle was too busy with Boob or her newest Buddy to actually supervise. Jana was most likely in charge back when she was 10 or 11.

[Zella]

Just now, ozziemom said:

Speaking from experience with kids BS’ing their way through chores, the girls probably were never in a rush to finish cos there’s always another chore. And we know Meechelle was too busy with Boob or her newest Buddy to actually supervise. Jana was most likely in charge back when she was 10 or 11.

Yeah and I think that explains stuff like Joy being unbothered by dirt on her feet when she's dressing for a date. It's like something a little kid would do when left to their own devices. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Zella said:

Yes exactly. This has come up with Jessa too. But being a slob is not an innate symptom of depression. It's the change in behavior that is. If somebody is a really tidy person who suddenly can't be bothered to do basic housekeeping, that's a huge red flag. Always being shit at housekeeping out of ignorance or indifference is quite different. 

Yes this is true.
 

We’ve discussed before how the Duggar girls weren’t given any of the skills typical stay at home wives and mothers are given (cooking, cleaning, event planning etc). The TTH was never the pinnacle of cleanliness, and given that Joy went on a date with Austin with her feet PITCH BLACK, I would not be surprised if her home was constantly a mess. 
 

Some people are better housekeepers than others, and some care more than others. Joy strikes me as someone who doesn’t care much about keeping a tidy home. 

[Zella]

11 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes this is true.
 

We’ve discussed before how the Duggar girls weren’t given any of the skills typical stay at home wives and mothers are given (cooking, cleaning, event planning etc). The TTH was never the pinnacle of cleanliness, and given that Joy went on a date with Austin with her feet PITCH BLACK, I would not be surprised if her home was constantly a mess. 
 

Some people are better housekeepers than others, and some care more than others. Joy strikes me as someone who doesn’t care much about keeping a tidy home. 

Yes Joy strikes me as really disinterested and apathetic about a lot of things. I imagine it's a combo of her personality and her upbringing. I personally have no problem with Joy not appearing to be interested in fashion--I'm the same way--but the feet thing makes me think she is possibly pretty apathetic about hygiene too. I imagine that nobody was particularly taking the time to teach her those things, and her personality makes her not particularly bothered by it. 

I wouldn't necessarily rule out that Joy may be struggling from depression or that she's under a lot of stress she has a hard time coping with--a lot of her posts seem a bit overwhelmed to me ever since she's had the second baby, and I know that can be a hectic transition for many moms--but I really don't think the state of her house is indicative of that in the same way it would be for another person who has demonstrated more normal housekeeping standards in the past. The posts where she seems to be trying to force herself to be more optimistic and, well, joyful are what I notice, though they don't mean anything on their own either.

Edited November 20, 2021 by Zella

[floridamom]

I believe it would have been TLC to have hired the cleaning crew to come in and clean the filthy TTH. Grandma Mary was tight with a buck....she would have never PAID anyone to go over there and clean the house...Let TLC pick up the tab, not Grandma. That lady knew how to make a penny bleed.

[GeeGolly]

This may be a little TMI, but I'm guessing its pretty universal - I wonder if Michelle told the soon-to-be-marrieds that intimacy is much nicer when both bodies are clean.

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

This may be a little TMI, but I'm guessing its pretty universal - I wonder if Michelle told the soon-to-be-marrieds that intimacy is much nicer when both bodies are clean.

They probably didn’t care either way for the first 6 months or so 🤣

[Nysha]

Joy can be a poor housekeeper and still struggle with depression/stress that keeps her from doing all but the bare minimum. Plus, Joy was in the first round of buddies. I'm not sure when the system started but Jill is only 6 years older than Joy. I doubt her own life skills were very well developed when she was tasked with raising her little sister. 

She was raised with clutter, chaos, and extremely low cleanliness standards, so it's really not that surprising that her own aren't any better than what she was taught growing up. Especially if Austin's indifferent to the mess or never steps in to help. One of the reasons Jill learned to keep a neat house is because Derek had higher standards than the Duggars and he was willing to do chores around the house.

[GeeGolly]

Are we sure any of the Duggar sisters are neater than the others? Or do they each need to learn their own lesson on what not to post on IG?

[Westiepeach]

22 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

This may be a little TMI, but I'm guessing its pretty universal - I wonder if Michelle told the soon-to-be-marrieds that intimacy is much nicer when both bodies are clean.

Didn’t MEchelle just tell the girls “it doesn’t take that long”?

[irisheyes]

3 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

Didn’t MEchelle just tell the girls “it doesn’t take that long”?

To be fair, it probably didn’t. 

[Dimi1]

On 11/21/2021 at 2:05 PM, GeeGolly said:

Are we sure any of the Duggar sisters are neater than the others? Or do they each need to learn their own lesson on what not to post on IG?

I know...the worst was Jessa's recent one of IVY...dirty nose , unkempt hair, shirt on inside out and the house a wreck in the background...complete with over turned chairs...totally oblivious ....sheesh...

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Dimi1 said:

I know...the worst was Jessa's recent one of IVY...dirty nose , unkempt hair, shirt on inside out and the house a wreck in the background...complete with over turned chairs...totally oblivious ....sheesh...

I guess I missed that one. Jessa's house has looked pretty good since the days of Diaper Mountain, when I think she learned her lesson to at least pick up before posting, but her house is still often grimy. Jill learned her lesson from comments made about her housekeeping skills back when they lived in the apartment, but IMO she makes sure to only post clean shots now, except when including pics of her garage, yard and "guest" room, which are all quite messy.

Joy is a little different than her sisters though. She may not care much about what folks think.

[riverblue22]

My husband is getting over a cold that fortunately I didn't get.  His covid tests were negative. I doubt any Duggars would test for covid until they had to go to the ER.

[BigBingerBro]

[Ijustwantsomechips]

So your baby’s diapered ass and dirty feet are on the counters as you prepare to cook? 🤢

[crazycatlady58]

8 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So your baby’s diapered ass and dirty feet are on the counters as you prepare to cook? 🤢

I am more concerned about the baby being right in front of a plug and handing moma a knife.