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Ljohnson1987

The Other Duggars: The Howlers, Lost Girls, Grandma Duggar and Amy

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I've been wondering about John David as well.  We've all been talking about the 20 something girls sharing rooms/beds with sibs...but what about a 24 year old man?  Don't all the boys share a room too?  How sad is that.  Hopefully you are all right and he has moved out and is doing his own thing.  Why aren't his teeth fixed like the girls?  Have any of the boys had braces?

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Haven't the Duggars made statements to the effect that they would pay to have a plastic surgeon repair a cut on one of the girl's faces, but not the boys?  

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JimBob said that if it were one of the boys who needed stitches for a cosmetic issue like Hannie did they would just leave it but for a "pretty girl like her" they had to.

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I thought the issue with Johannah's stitches were that they wanted a plastic surgeon to do it so that there would be less of a scar compared to if an emergency room doctor stitched her up. And had it been one of the boys, they would have just taken them to an emergency room for the stitches.

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When I was 16 I was in a car accident and got stitches and ended up with a scar. 20 years later a doctor looked at it and exclaimed "why didn't they call a plastic surgeon for a girl face"! I swear. Anyway, I ended up getting it fixed by a plastic surgeon and it is barely noticeable now. I didn't argue with him, but was raising boys at the time so thought it kind of strange. Obviously I cared about their faces too!

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Just to give a reference I'm a fifties kid and my dad said the same thing about stitches to my chin. Because I was a girl I got 3 stitches but a son would've probably gotten just a bandage. Interesting that people still have that notion that a girl and her beauty are valued and a boy's looks is not viewed the same way.

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I believe Betty Draper in season 1 of Mad Men, after a minor car accident, remarks that she's glad that her daughter isn't hurt because a scar on a boy is nothing but for a girl it ruins everything.  Or something that effect.  So icky that we haven't gotten past this still today.

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Could be the old "A man with a scar is sexy" type thing.  I remember the episode when the random howler had the growth removed and then saw the plastic surgeon with J'Chelle.

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I hate that thinking, but I know Hannie had a pretty bad injury and was referred in case some possible reconstruction needed to happen; she bit through her lip and her teeth got kind of jacked up IIRC. Jason's injury when he fell in that orchestra pit was more of the "busted chin" variety. I'm firmly convinced the world is evenly divided between those who have busted chin scars and those who don't.

But I can see where they would be more concerned about a girl since the curly hair and modest dress is supposed to draw more attention to her "countenance" or whatever.

I never knew facial scars were bad for girls until I got older. I have a 2-inch diagonal scar right in the center of my forehead (that was GLUED at an actual hospital by an actual doctor 30+ years ago because lol The South) and it was never a thing, never had an adult or kid comment on it. Whereas when I was older I was given vitamin E oil for a scar on my knee, though that one was a pretty gnarly case of road rash.

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He seems a lot like John David (the quiet, mechanical type).

But, seriously: John David. Ack. He has really ballooned. I'd happily send him the $10 a month for a Planet Fitness membership. 

 

Josiah has a different body type, so no matter how hard he hits the TTC, maybe he won't gain weight in his early 20s as his brothers have. 

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Watching 14 Children and Pregnant Again. The kids went over their jurisdictions and the boys often said "Boys' room and boys' bathroom" but then Jessa said she had to clean the boys' bathroom. Jana said she has the living room and her parents' room. WTH, Duggars? I will never understand you! (Parents, not kids. I believe the kids.) Why would Jana have to clean her parents' bedroom? There's literally only two grown people living in that room. Why can't JBoob or JChelle do it?!? That pisses me off.

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Cleaning the parents room as a jurisdiction is creepy to me. I would not want to get anywhere near Boob and Clown Car's dirty sheets, that is for sure!

 

Makes me really wonder what the parents do all day while the kids handle all the jurisdictions and child care.

Edited by starfire
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I was watching an earlier rerun yesterday on TV, and one of the younger boys, (don't know his name), but he was about 3rd-4th grade age, was playing with a stuffed monkey. He then asked one of the older girls, (who was off camera),with subtitles, "what letter does 'monkey' start with"? I couldn't believe my eyes and ears! The older sister then replied (off camera) with subtitles, "M". A child of his age should have known that m o n k e y begins with the letter m. I believe they are functional illiterates. Anyone else see that segment?

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I forgot to mention that this kid guessed that "monkey" started with a "J"? How phonics deprived are they? Children learn letter sounds in kindergarten or preschool, IMO. Couldn't believe my ears and eyes!

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Mullet had some sort of ABC iphone app she was playing with miracle Josie last season I think.  IMO, with the Europe and Asia trips, I would have thought those would have been great opportunities to homeschool prior to and after the trips regarding  the history and culture of the countries they would be visiting.  I doubt that happened.  I'm surprised the Gothard bible allows them to leave the country.

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I forgot to mention that this kid guessed that "monkey" started with a "J"? How phonics deprived are they? Children learn letter sounds in kindergarten or preschool, IMO. Couldn't believe my ears and eyes!

 

While I totally agree with you, I can see where one might get confused if everyone's name in your household started with the letter "J" and I was rarely if ever allowed to associate with anyone else. I'd probably start assuming everything was "J" something too.

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While I totally agree with you, I can see where one might get confused if everyone's name in your household started with the letter "J" and I was rarely if ever allowed to associate with anyone else. I'd probably start assuming everything was "J" something too.

Maybe the whole J'chelle thing confused him.

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Well from reading an excerpt of the girls book "Growing up Dugger" their writing leaves a lot to be desired. It definitely seems to written at a very basic level, they don't really have a large vocabulary because they are so limited in what they can read. I tried to find a juicy part part but it's pretty boring right? Seems like it was written by MUCH younger girls. 

WHEN OUR PARENTS WERE planning to build our current house in northwest Arkansas, they asked us kids how many bedrooms we thought the house should have. It was an easy question for us to answer: we wanted to be together. So, upstairs in our house today, there’s one big room for all the girls, one big room for all the boys, and our parents’ bedroom with an adjoining nursery.

Jana and I (Jill) sleep in double beds with our youngest sisters, Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin- or youth-sized beds. It’s always an exciting time when the littlest sister gets to move from the nursery to the “big girls’ room” with us, although they’re always free to toddle back to Mom and Dad’s room if they need to. We love the late-night conversations and falling asleep each night surrounded by our sisters.

 

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WHEN OUR PARENTS WERE planning to build our current house in northwest Arkansas, they asked us kids how many bedrooms we thought the house should have. It was an easy question for us to answer: we wanted to be together. So, upstairs in our house today, there’s one big room for all the girls, one big room for all the boys, and our parents’ bedroom with an adjoining nursery.

Jana and I (Jill) sleep in double beds with our youngest sisters, Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin- or youth-sized beds. It’s always an exciting time when the littlest sister gets to move from the nursery to the “big girls’ room” with us, although they’re always free to toddle back to Mom and Dad’s room if they need to. We love the late-night conversations and falling asleep each night surrounded by our sisters.

 

 

I call BS on this.  I shared a room with one of my sisters.  It was nice at times and it was not so nice at others.  We were best friends, but there were lots of fights due to our shared space.  The thing that kills me about the Duggars is that they can never admit or talk about the bad.  I'm sure there may be a lot of fun in that room, but there are also many negative things happening in that room crammed with girls.

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although they’re always free to toddle back to Mom and Dad’s room if they need to.

 

Are they kidding?? I can't see that ever happening.

 

We love the late-night conversations and falling asleep each night surrounded by our sisters.

 

Do they all have the same "bed time"?

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I actually can see it with the girls. At the time they were building the TTH, it was the oldest 4 girls and Joy Anna, and Johannah had just been born so would be in the nursery. I could totally see the oldest 4 being close enough that they wanted to share a room, and them being kind enough to include Joy Anna as well. 

 

I don't know, I just know that we all tend to view things (especially the Duggars) through the lens of our own experiences. I would have *loved* sisters close in age when I was a teenager (the age the girls were at the time) and I probably would have been fine with sharing a room with them. I loved most things about having female roommates in college. (though by that point, the separate bedrooms part was a good thing but I went to public university....)

 

And for that matter, the older 4 may at that time have all thought they'd be a-courting by 21, married by 22, so it would have been a relatively short amount of time spent in the shared room. Also, they didn't really have any way of knowing how many more babies there would be or the genders, so they may not have predicted being in this position (particularly Jana) of being 24 and still sharing a room with her 4 and 5 year old sisters.

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although they’re always free to toddle back to Mom and Dad’s room if they need to.

Y'all know that door is locked.
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The girls had always shared a room hadn't they?  With basically four who had always been together, they might have felt bad dividing and deciding who went where.  They had no frame of reference for separate rooms.

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How do grown women (daughters) go from sleeping with their 5 year old sisters to sleeping with their husbands in 24 hours? This lifestyle is unnatural. The Duggars really need to sit down on LIVE TV and answer the real questions, ones asked on the spot, not pre-rehearsed ones. I also would love to observe Mama Michelle, when she doesn't know the cameras and microphones are capturing her real demeanor.....

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How do grown women (daughters) go from sleeping with their 5 year old sisters to sleeping with their husbands in 24 hours? This lifestyle is unnatural. The Duggars really need to sit down on LIVE TV and answer the real questions, ones asked on the spot, not pre-rehearsed ones. I also would love to observe Mama Michelle, when she doesn't know the cameras and microphones are capturing her real demeanor.....

Why do the have to do that? Just because some people do it differently, doesn't make it unnatural. It used to be like that for most families.

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The Duggar girls know more then I did with my first boyfriend. In fact they've already seen the down and dirty boy stuff. They've changed boy diapers, cleaned boy toilets, laundered boy underwear and sheets, know Michelle's cycle and how it relates to reproduction and their parents talk about making "blessings" to the entire world. They are not fragile flowers of innocent maidenhood and they have a pretty good idea of how Legos work by the time they wed.

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Why do the have to do that? Just because some people do it differently, doesn't make it unnatural. It used to be like that for most families.

I have been thinking about that. There was a time, on the American frontier for example, when couples married very, very young and very quickly. Then they got on with the hard lives ahead. Life was so challenging, so fraught with disease and infant mortality and winter-long blizzards and cabins burning. Unless one or the other died young (usually the wife in childbirth) or somebody was criminally cruel they toughed it out until they wore out in early middle age. From there they both kind of settled. The problem today is that nearly everyone has more choices. It cannot be hidden forever that there are women, for example, who never marry but live fulfilled lives perhaps as professional leaders. Etc. Etc. 

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Y'all know that door is locked.

 

Ew yuck.

 

Or JimBoob puts up a sign, "Go away. Check the cycle chart. Trying for #20 in here!"

 

Oh man.. double ew yuck! I don't disagree with either of you, just the thought that the kids are SO aware of Mom and Dad "gettin' it on" just skeeves me out. And yet if they so much as "frontal hug" anyone including a sibling it's bad?  So confusing.

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I believe the Duggar compound has cameras set up inside the house to monitor the kids. 

 

As for the "legos", well, babies and adults are physically different. That's all I'll say. 

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The problem today is that nearly everyone has more choices.

I don't see that as a problem. I see it as a problem that the Duggars and their ilk refuse to recognize that we are no longer living in a era where people have more choices than to reproduce like rabbits and prohibit their spawn for being aware that there are any options other than strict gender roles, lack of education, no critical thinking, and an absence of opportunities for all their kids.

Edited by jcbrown
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We no longer live in Ma and Pa Ingalls world. It isn't 1875. The issues are that their belief system sets women up to be stuck...no matter what in a potentially abusive, poverty stricken life. Woman back then suffered and died from multiple pregnancies, abusive spouses, with no where to turn and no skills to draw on with a non existent female workforce. If a happily married woman lost her husband in death, what choices would she have to support herself and her kids? No choice at all for she isn't trained or experienced in ANYTHING, being forbidden to even work while single and living at home...I think that they believe if you live your life so strictly in what is their interpretation of God's will for us, your life will be without challenges and NO hard times will be ahead. That was made quite evident to me by Anna when Josh was told by the doctor to change his diet and lose weight for health issues were about 5 years away for him. Anna was panicky...stated that Josh "can't have health problems in 5 years... that would be 5 more children from now!" Anna, why can't Josh's body react like any ole sinners' body to bad eating and no exercise? You could see her worrying about what she would do to support herself and 10 kids? Just plain ingnorant IMO.

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We no longer live in Ma and Pa Ingalls world. It isn't 1875. The issues are that their belief system sets women up to be stuck...no matter what in a potentially abusive, poverty stricken life. Woman back then suffered and died from multiple pregnancies, abusive spouses, with no where to turn and no skills to draw on with a non existent female workforce. If a happily married woman lost her husband in death, what choices would she have to support herself and her kids? No choice at all for she isn't trained or experienced in ANYTHING, being forbidden to even work while single and living at home...I think that they believe if you live your life so strictly in what is their interpretation of God's will for us, your life will be without challenges and NO hard times will be ahead. That was made quite evident to me by Anna when Josh was told by the doctor to change his diet and lose weight for health issues were about 5 years away for him. Anna was panicky...stated that Josh "can't have health problems in 5 years... that would be 5 more children from now!" Anna, why can't Josh's body react like any ole sinners' body to bad eating and no exercise? You could see her worrying about what she would do to support herself and 10 kids? Just plain ingnorant IMO.

So no woman should ever stay home and care for her children? What if she wants to?

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So no woman should ever stay home and care for her children? What if she wants to?

I think it is great to stay home with children. I did it and my DIL is doing it. But we both have professional credentials. I was widowed in my mid-forties but was still able to support myself and our four children. That experience has caused me to worry about a young woman making a decision to stay home without the ability to take the helm fully if need be. 

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I stayed home without any professional credentials for 20 years and that is why you plan and purchase life insurance. I have no problem with working mothers. It is almost impossible now to make it on one income but just because Anna has no work history doesn't mean they have not planned for their financial security.

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I stayed home without any professional credentials for 20 years and that is why you plan and purchase life insurance. I have no problem with working mothers. It is almost impossible now to make it on one income but just because Anna has no work history doesn't mean they have not planned for their financial security.

Oh, of course, they may well have solid plans. Most young widowed parents I know have needed a combination of work skills and life insurance. 

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Life insurance is fine and dandy, but it could run out before the children are out of the house esp. with the cost of everything going up. My sister-in-law is learning the hard way after my brother-in-law died after a nasty work related accident two days after Christmas. She is paying a lawyer around $500.00 a hour to help sort things out due to her husband's share of the family farm. She was a stay at home mother before he died. This was the second work related accident he had since 2009.  I know she had to move into another house because she could not afford to stay on the farm due to expenses. I do not know if he had life insurance, or she is getting any benefits due to the accident at work leading to his death. Plus, the emotional cost of raising two young boys without their father is probably worse. Her five year old adoptive son is having a hard time of it. He was just adopted last year, and sadly, he has some problems due to his nitwit biological parents neglecting him.

 

Josh and Anna, imo, think the TLC money train and his job will provide security for the family. Unless someone is helping them with their finances, I doubt they are doing much planning for the future. From the picture I have seen of Joshie lately, he does not look healthy. My husband did not look that bad as Smuggar before he was diagnosed with his illness. The only reason why Smuggar got the job he has now is the family name. You cannot expect your family name to raise a family on. Sooner or later their five minutes of fame will fade away and what will Smuggar and Anna depend on.

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All I am saying is that we don't know anything about their finances or their estate planning. Maybe their life insurance would run out, but maybe it wouldn't and there is no point is speculating. If they are happy with their lifestyle and traditional gender roles, why should we be so judgmental about their choices and how is that any different than religious people being judgmental about homosexuals? I just don't see why it bugs so much.

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Why are the Duggars trying to take away the rights of gays/lesbians, women's rights etc. etc.  They brought this on themselves when they wanted to become famewhores. Is it right for them to be so judgmental about certain groups of people, but no one else can call them out for their lifestyles. If they cannot take the heat, then get out of the darn kitchen.

Edited by bigskygirl

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Hey everyone lets keep the conversation focused on the topic of the thread. There are plenty of threads to go around so split up your comments and post them where they belong. I've decided to keep the off topic comments in this thread but if this continues to happen I will be deleting posts without warning.

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I actually can see it with the girls. At the time they were building the TTH, it was the oldest 4 girls and Joy Anna, and Johannah had just been born so would be in the nursery. I could totally see the oldest 4 being close enough that they wanted to share a room, and them being kind enough to include Joy Anna as well. 

 

IDK...I just don't see it so I'll agree to disagree. It's like someone else said, everything is so positive with this family and no one ever says anything that may be potentially scandalous (for lack of a better word). I imagine the Duggar girls have hoped for some privacy and space for themselves and that's okay.

 

I just found Amy's IG. I'm starting to like her. It's cute how close she is to her mom and Grandma. I bet the three have a lot of fun when together and it's nice for Grandma to get away from the commotion of the Duggar house.

Edited by trimthatfat

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There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I was that too, myself for 25 years. What I find limiting in their belief system is that they don't allow a single young woman to go to any real college, or training school and actually work outside the home in the workforce while she is single. If they did, Jana, Jinger and Jessa would be leaving for work at 8am every day and have real jobs in the areas that interest them, they don't because they aren't allowed to. This gives them absolutely NO training, education or work experience for the unthinkable, or if money is tight down the line to help out financially, like most women do. BTW, I loved my time at home with my children and lived the June Cleaver life, but when that bubble burst, I certainly have had a hard time getting hired anywhere after being home for so long. I'm still having a hard time because of the long hiatus from the workforce and know first hand how hard it is.

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