The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy

[Sundaymorning]

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I was that too, myself for 25 years. What I find limiting in their belief system is that they don't allow a single young woman to go to any real college, or training school and actually work outside the home in the workforce while she is single. If they did, Jana, Jinger and Jessa would be leaving for work at 8am every day and have real jobs in the areas that interest them, they don't because they aren't allowed to. This gives them absolutely NO training, education or work experience for the unthinkable, or if money is tight down the line to help out financially, like most women do. BTW, I loved my time at home with my children and lived the June Cleaver life, but when that bubble burst, I certainly have had a hard time getting hired anywhere after being home for so long. I'm still having a hard time because of the long hiatus from the workforce and know first hand how hard it is.

I also have absolutely no problem with stay-at-home moms, I think everyone should be able to choose what they think fits bests for them. But, and that's a fact, single mothers with children make up the biggest group in my country that depends on social welfare (which means nothing other than other peoples tax-money). I think everyone should choose for themselves, but that also means that everyone should be responsible for those choices. If someone chooses to stay at home for years, they should also have some back-up plans in case the husband loses his job, if he wants a divorce and so on.

I know a very nice lady who got married right after school, never worked, built her life with her husband, raised the kids, took care of the family. And well, one day, the husband left her, and managed to transfer a lot of money to his mistress, so that his wife didn't get enough in the divorce. She is now stuck with having to be a cleaning lady for other families. I know that because my parents employed her for a few hours a week, because they felt sorry for her.

 

So I think it's highly irresponsible of Boob and J'Chelle do deny their daughters a proper education. Even if they want to be housewifes, with a good education they would still have much better chances providing for their family if something would happen to their husband or their marriage.

[PecanSandie]

I wonder if Grandma Duggar gets paid for all the work she does?

And I wonder if Grandma Duggar's daughter, (Amy's mom), resents Michelle for pushing so much of her duties off on Grandma.

You sure don't see any sweet fellowship going on in that sister in law relationship!

[Ivy26]

I wonder if Grandma Duggar gets paid for all the work she does?

And I wonder if Grandma Duggar's daughter, (Amy's mom), resents Michelle for pushing so much of her duties off on Grandma.

You sure don't see any sweet fellowship going on in that sister in law relationship!

 

I know I would.  I would offer to take my mother out frequently in that situation.  And have no problem telling Bitchelle to do her own damn laundry. 

I worry about Grandma.  Part of me wonders if she sticks around to be the balance to the Fundie wackiness.  I'd like to think she keeps them grounded.  I can see Boob & Bitchelle going Maxwell veeeery quickly

[DangerousMinds]

We no longer live in Ma and Pa Ingalls world. It isn't 1875. The issues are that their belief system sets women up to be stuck...no matter what in a potentially abusive, poverty stricken life. Woman back then suffered and died from multiple pregnancies, abusive spouses, with no where to turn and no skills to draw on with a non existent female workforce. If a happily married woman lost her husband in death, what choices would she have to support herself and her kids? No choice at all for she isn't trained or experienced in ANYTHING, being forbidden to even work while single and living at home...I think that they believe if you live your life so strictly in what is their interpretation of God's will for us, your life will be without challenges and NO hard times will be ahead. That was made quite evident to me by Anna when Josh was told by the doctor to change his diet and lose weight for health issues were about 5 years away for him. Anna was panicky...stated that Josh "can't have health problems in 5 years... that would be 5 more children from now!" Anna, why can't Josh's body react like any ole sinners' body to bad eating and no exercise? You could see her worrying about what she would do to support herself and 10 kids? Just plain ingnorant IMO.

The boys aren't being appropriately prepared for careers/work that will allow them to financially support big families either, IMO. Josh got lucky (for now) but what about the others?

[trimthatfat]

The boys aren't being appropriately prepared for careers/work that will allow them to financially support big families either, IMO. Josh got lucky (for now) but what about the others?

Bingo. Eventually, the gravy train will end and the younger children will need to pave their own way. It is very hard to find traction career wise when you don't have any skills. I don't even think a traditional college is necessary to acquire those skills - one can go to a CC and get a degree in nursing, accounting, or computer science and end up in a financially fulfilling career. There's also options with trade schools. I don't see the odds in the favor of the young boys unless Jim Bob helps them out.

[Marigny]

I wonder if Grandma Duggar gets paid for all the work she does?

And I wonder if Grandma Duggar's daughter, (Amy's mom), resents Michelle for pushing so much of her duties off on Grandma.

You sure don't see any sweet fellowship going on in that sister in law relationship!

Hell no! They barely let her out of the laundry room for pee breaks!

 

I'm convinced of two things: 1.) Grandma only hangs around because she knows those kids would be even more whacked out if she weren't. 2.) Grandma talks mad shit about Mullet during her coffee outings with her daughter and Famy. 

[WTFFF]

I think Deanna thinks JimBob is a total tool.  Remember when they invaded her home after James's birthday party, and JimBob was saying "Oh, it was fun, you missed out!" and she just said "Well, I had to work, so..."? 

 

I think she's well aware that her brother is basically just an idiot who got lucky, and I think it bugs her that he doesn't know that about himself. 

[Sundaymorning]

I know I would.  I would offer to take my mother out frequently in that situation.  And have no problem telling Bitchelle to do her own damn laundry. 

I worry about Grandma.  Part of me wonders if she sticks around to be the balance to the Fundie wackiness.  I'd like to think she keeps them grounded.  I can see Boob & Bitchelle going Maxwell veeeery quickly

I hope Grandma and Boobs sister somehow try to balance the J'Chelle and Boob crazy out. Wouldn't it be great if they took all the older girls on a vacation. J'Chelle would have to stay at home and parent her own children and do her own laundry for once!

 

I think Boob is a total tool that he let's his mother do the laundry. Even if she offered it herself, he just should have said no, and should have hired someone to do the work, if he and J'Chelle don't want to do it themselves. The Duggars could afford it by now.

[NikSac]

I hope Grandma and Boobs sister somehow try to balance the J'Chelle and Boob crazy out. Wouldn't it be great if they took all the older girls on a vacation. J'Chelle would have to stay at home and parent her own children and do her own laundry for once!

 

ha... like THAT will ever happen. I enjoy thinking about it though.

[trimthatfat]

I know I would.  I would offer to take my mother out frequently in that situation.  And have no problem telling Bitchelle to do her own damn laundry. 

I worry about Grandma.  Part of me wonders if she sticks around to be the balance to the Fundie wackiness.  I'd like to think she keeps them grounded.  I can see Boob & Bitchelle going Maxwell veeeery quickly

I worry about Grandma, too. Most grandparents, if living in a multi-generational home with their children, have a handful of grandkids and can retreat to their own bedroom/apartment as needed when they need peace and quiet. Grandma isn't that lucky. She's surrounded by these children and helps out around the house. IMO, she is well within her rights to tell her son she's retired and doesn't feel like doing the laundry. Like, wtf?

 

I'd like to think that when grandma is with her daughter and Amy, they have a ball...and maybe do a couple of shots before having to send Grandma back to the compound.

[mbutterfly]

I worry about Grandma, too. Most grandparents, if living in a multi-generational home with their children, have a handful of grandkids and can retreat to their own bedroom/apartment as needed when they need peace and quiet. Grandma isn't that lucky. She's surrounded by these children and helps out around the house. IMO, she is well within her rights to tell her son she's retired and doesn't feel like doing the laundry. Like, wtf?

 

I'd like to think that when grandma is with her daughter and Amy, they have a ball...and maybe do a couple of shots before having to send Grandma back to the compound.

I've not followed so well so I'm wondering. Was there a grandmother's apartment already on the TTH or did they add one? Or a guest bedroom? What sort of accommodation does Grandma have there?

[Ivy26]

I'm pretty sure Grandma has her own room.  IIRC, it's actually off of the laundry room.  Which irks me too

 

Yeah, why can't Grandma bow out?  I realize they are stuck in their ideology of boy/girl "jurisdictions" but damn it how 'bout the BOYS do their own laundry?  How many ten and up boys do we have?  They could do it.  Hell, I'm teaching my 11 year old how to handle her own laundry.  She needs help though; kinda short, deep drum :-)

[Rhondinella]

No lie.  I have three kids, the youngest is 11 and the other two are teenagers.  I stopped doing laundry for them about a year ago.  I said, "Here's how you use the machine.  If you want clean laundry, you wash it, you dry it, you hang it up."  So far it's not been too bad.  11 year old needs help now and then, but the biggest problem is my 15 year old boy who is perfectly content wearing the same dirty clothes for days in a row.  If I didn't make him change every day, he wouldn't.

 

So my point?  Yeah, I had a hard enough time keeping up with laundry for 3.  Can't imagine doing 19.  I say anyone 12 or over should have to do their own.  Then maybe make MOM (or, you know, DAD) do the laundry for the little ones.

[Ivy26]

Exactly!  I'm still in the dark on why laundry is women's work.  Back when it was being wrung out and everything starched and ironed?  Meh, it was housework.  But nowadays it's put in/press button/put in/press button/fold.  It's not rocket science.  Which definitely means not too hard for the Duggars :-) 

[trimthatfat]

Heh, I was doing my own laundry before I could spell the word. My mother and father worked 7 days a week and I was taught early on how to separate whites and colors as well as how to operate the washing machine. There's no reason why the Duggar kids can't all do the laundry - maybe one week, it's John David and Jana, the next it's Jinger and Josiah, and so on and so forth. Grandma should be kicking her feet up and enjoying retirement, not doing household chores.

 

Man, with Grandma helping with laundry, the older girls cooking, the buddy system, and Jinger handling packing for trips...Michelle really has it made. No wonder it's so easy for her to travel to speaking engagements.

[lallyvee]

You can't let the boys come in contact with women's undergarments.

[Sundaymorning]

You can't let the boys come in contact with women's undergarments.

Right. But then you can't let the girls come in contact with boys underwear either! I suggest separate laundry rooms for boys and girls, where everyone over the age of 12 has to wash their own clothes. Children who are 11 and under can give their dirty clothes to J'Chelle (the girls) and Boob (the boys), so they can wash them for them.

I think that solution would be awesome. And so modest ;)

Edited July 21, 2014 by Sundaymorning

[starfire]

So does grandma do all the laundry? I have seen an older episode or two where it's mentioned that so-and-so kid's jurisdiction is laundry. One episode was going over jurisdictions and more than one kid said their jurisdiction was laundry (aside from other areas) so it sounded like it wasn't just one person's responsibility. One kid claiming laundry as a jurisdiction was a howler. Did the "laundry jurisdiction" eventually become solely grandma's responsibility? I can only imagine how many loads per week are generated at that house.

[mbutterfly]

So does grandma do all the laundry? I have seen an older episode or two where it's mentioned that so-and-so kid's jurisdiction is laundry. One episode was going over jurisdictions and more than one kid said their jurisdiction was laundry (aside from other areas) so it sounded like it wasn't just one person's responsibility. One kid claiming laundry as a jurisdiction was a howler. Did the "laundry jurisdiction" eventually become solely grandma's responsibility? I can only imagine how many loads per week are generated at that house.

I have hoped that Grandma just supervises. Actually, in that household supervising laundry -- making certain loads are not left in the washer or dryer, getting items folded and sorted seems like a fairly pleasant job to me. 

Edited July 21, 2014 by mbutterfly

[trimthatfat]

I do not believe Grandma does the laundry alone.

 

You can't let the boys come in contact with women's undergarments.

Then the boys can wash boys' clothes, and the girls can wash girls' clothes. I feel like children 4 and up should be fair game for chores - make it a game to sort colors or something for the children too young to understand how to use the machine.

Edited July 21, 2014 by trimthatfat

[floridamom]

Re Grandma Duggar and laundry:  If I remember correctly it was a few years ago that the girls did the laundry. That was before Grandma D moved in and Mr. Duggar Sr. passed away. It is now Grandma Duggar who does the laundry, all of it, by herself. She has stated on camera that she does between 60 and 70 loads a week.  I think it is selfish and stupid of Queen Michelle to use that "two shirt" look for all the girls. One proper shirt would suffice quite well and cut down on the laundry. She doesn't care because she has nothing to do with it, it's Grandma's problem. I still don't know why Mary Duggar puts up with that nonsense from her son and daughter in law. Any thoughts on that?

[Higgins]

Do you think that Grandma maybe offered to do the laundry or did they suggest it? Sometimes Grandmas like to do stuff like that to help.

[JessDVD]

She may appreciate the chance to have what she considers to be a normal, positive impact on her grandkids, and the price of that is eternal laundry. I'd probably try to find other ways to do it, but who knows, maybe she has and she's just decided this is the best way about it.

 

I hope she gets an extra jewel or 500 in her crown in heaven for this.

[MrMattyMatt]

I would think that Mary could get out of the Duggar household if she really wanted to.  She's usually pretty joyful and in her talking heads she doesn't appear too miserable.  She may be technically "in charge" of the laundry, but I am sure she probably delegates out to the girls when she needs a break.  

 

Regarding J'chelle, I am shocked she doesn't have one of the remaining J'slaves dress her each morning and draw her a bath at the end of the day.

[ginger90]

I'm thinking it's a team effort with the laundry. There's probably more bonding during those times than Michelle has with her children in a month.

[mbutterfly]

I do not believe Grandma does the laundry alone.

 

Then the boys can wash boys' clothes, and the girls can wash girls' clothes. I feel like children 4 and up should be fair game for chores - make it a game to sort colors or something for the children too young to understand how to use the machine.

That's actually a really good idea. I wish Grandma would adopt it (maybe she has). Let the boys have their instructional work time in the laundry doing up the boy's clothes and same for the girls -- little ones excepted. I'm thinking most men these days do some or all of their own laundry. I know my DH likes to do his laundry to suit his own schedule of clothes wearing. It's tiresome to depend upon someone else's schedule when you're an adult. 

[Sundaymorning]

That's actually a really good idea. I wish Grandma would adopt it (maybe she has). Let the boys have their instructional work time in the laundry doing up the boy's clothes and same for the girls -- little ones excepted. I'm thinking most men these days do some or all of their own laundry. I know my DH likes to do his laundry to suit his own schedule of clothes wearing. It's tiresome to depend upon someone else's schedule when you're an adult. 

Yes, doing laundry is not rocket science nowdays. It's truly embarrassing if a man can't do it. I guess it has more to do with the whole Duggar way of thinking that household work is up to women, while men should be working outside the home and providing for their families. However, I don't see the teenage boys working outside the home and bringing the family home money, so they might as well participate in the housework and help out their sisters and their grandma.

[stillbored]

There was a clip on TLC (it was probably on the show too) that showed an evening where Grandma was in charge of the little ones (probably the younger 8 or so). The kids seemed to like it cos she played 4 square with them and they all seemed to respect her authority.

My theory is that she probably does the laundry/stays there/helps out because she doesnt' want to see her grand kids so miserable when they (mostly the older 5 girls) were repsonsible for everything.

[Marigny]

I hope Grandma and Boobs sister somehow try to balance the J'Chelle and Boob crazy out. Wouldn't it be great if they took all the older girls on a vacation. J'Chelle would have to stay at home and parent her own children and do her own laundry for once!

 

I think Boob is a total tool that he let's his mother do the laundry. Even if she offered it herself, he just should have said no, and should have hired someone to do the work, if he and J'Chelle don't want to do it themselves. The Duggars could afford it by now.

Not likely. She'd just call someone from the church to help out. 

[BuddyMom]

This laundry conversation is so interesting to me. Why does another adult (grandma Duggar) doing the young adults and teens laundry? Only the youngest kids would need their laundry done for them. There's no logical reason why a 70 year old woman should be doing selfie-obsessed Jessa's laundry. She clearly has the time.

My kids are 4 and 6 and they help me all the time and we don't have high end industrial appliances in a huge laundry room.

Why grandma Duggar lives in the TTH is a mystery to me.

[TommyD]

I can only imagine how many loads per week are generated at that house.

 

 

Sorry, my mind is in the gutter. I'll show myself out now.

[Marigny]

Why grandma Duggar lives in the TTH is a mystery to me.

 I was wondering about that also. The only thing I can think of is that Grandpa Duggar didn't make adequate arrangements for her to be provided for after he passed away. If there were no investments or life insurance to fall back on, living in the TTH and getting a cut of the TLC check may be her only option. 

[MrMattyMatt]

Grandma owns a huge amount of property with a house on it.  They went hiking there in one episode.  As scary as it sounds I think she lives in the TTH by choice.

[Marigny]

Grandma owns a huge amount of property with a house on it.  They went hiking there in one episode.  As scary as it sounds I think she lives in the TTH by choice.

Is that property generating money at all? I know that she owned the house that Josh and Anna used to live in but I wouldn't think that the rent is enough to maintain a lifestyle for her. 

[Sundaymorning]

Is that property generating money at all? I know that she owned the house that Josh and Anna used to live in but I wouldn't think that the rent is enough to maintain a lifestyle for her. 

I think she has at least two houses. Also, there was the place where she lived with her husband. I doubt that was just rented.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

IIRC, Mary moved in with Granddad Duggar when his health started going downhill. Maybe she stayed because she'd be lonely without him there? After her grief passed, she might have stayed for Joy-Anna, whom she seems particularly close with? She could have had a myriad of reasons to stay. I like to think she's a martyr who's trying to save at least some of her grandchildren. Hopefully, grandma takes Joy and maybe a few others out for a fun day every now and then.

[Almost 3000]

Grandma does seem to spend time staying with Amy and her mom. She's also been spotted filming with them in Nashville. I think she travels and gets out much more then we see but because her adventures just don't add to the Duggar story and she's not a blogger we don't know about it.

[mbutterfly]

Grandma does seem to spend time staying with Amy and her mom. She's also been spotted filming with them in Nashville. I think she travels and gets out much more then we see but because her adventures just don't add to the Duggar story and she's not a blogger we don't know about it.

To me she has the appearance and demeanor of a woman who has lived comfortably well and has a good sense of self, if that makes sense. I suspect she's not really downtrodden though a woman (and maybe especially a widow) has a somewhat different role in the Duggar culture than I am used to. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Will J'Chelle actually have to go back to doing her own laundry when Grandma passes away? I  know that's not nicest thing to think about, but it will inevitability happen. 

[jcbrown]

No, Mullet will just train Precious Miracle Josie to do it. No way Princess Mullet will lift a finger.

[starfire]

Is there a certain age when the kids start getting assigned jurisdictions?

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Is there a certain age when the kids start getting assigned jurisdictions?

I think it's around 5 or 6.

[Ljohnson1987]

Happy Birthday Jennifer! Hope you get a party to yourself, and time with your sister-mom

[Ljohnson1987]

Who do you think out of the 19 kids got the short end of the stick? I think it was Jordyn.  She was doted on by J'Chelle and Boob, and then Josie was born three months ahead of schedule, just 8 days before her first birthday. I've always thought Jordyn was a gorgeous  and smart child. I'd adopt her. Is her birthday always going to be lumped with Kenzie and Josie,  because they're the same age for 8 freaking days?! Jordyn is a year older. Let her have her own spotlight. 

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I think it was Jordyn for the girls, but the chunk of boys from Jed and Jer down to Justin got the short end of the stick. They're never seen as individuals, just a hulking mess of noise and dirt. I wish we would see more of each individual kid.

[Fuzzysox]

Wow John David made the rags:

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/282879

[Absolom]

LOL  They are reading Duggar boards for their stories. 

[BitterApple]

I would say Jordyn and Jenny for the girls and Jer thru Jackson for the boys.

As far as the laundary how the hell are they doing 70 loads a week in those big commercial washers?! That's three loads person! Even including sheets and towels, that seems ridiculous and wasteful. Poor planet Earth:(

[mbutterfly]

I would say Jordyn and Jenny for the girls and Jer thru Jackson for the boys.

As far as the laundary how the hell are they doing 70 loads a week in those big commercial washers?! That's three loads person! Even including sheets and towels, that seems ridiculous and wasteful. Poor planet Earth:(

And they don't use sheets, right?

[BuddyMom]

What? They don't use sheets?