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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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I wonder how Jill’s first woman dr. check up is going to go. You’d think J’Chelle would want her daughter’s fertility tested, so they can’t outdo her in the number of babies they have.  I don’t think Anna saw an ob/gyn until she got pregnant. Do they not believe in getting check ups for health reasons? What if one of the girls had a condition that made them infertile , and they had no idea, until they were trying to get pregnant? I hope  Jill doesn't pull that "You can't see my stomach during ultrasounds" crap. That should be the least of your worries. You'll be selling yourself out for TLC cameras to film when Baby Dill Pickle comes. 

  • Love 2

In the previews for the new season, JIll doesn't seem quite as enamored with Derick anymore.  He looks at her a lot, but she pretty much just stares right at the camera.  Of course, that could be her fighting her all day morning sickness.  I remember just wanting to keep looking straight, any head movements would make me wanna harf.

In my family we have 'morning' sickness all day through the whole pregnancy. I only have daughters but my sister wasn't as sick with her boys as she was with her girl. No twins. Just saying Jill's sickness is inconclusive. Also any bump could just be early-pregnancy bloat. Even if it is baby at this point, why the heck does she have her hands way up on her tummy? She does know where her uterus is, doesn't she? Makes me think she's just pushing her stomach out to fake a bump.

 

My word, as a mid-wife in training (or whatever it is officially) I would hope she at least knows where a uterus is and a baby bump should be.  It definitely looked to me like she was over-emphasizing it by sticking her stomach out - either that or she's way further along than she 'should' be according to the time frame.

 

I've had several friends who had horrible morning sickness (mostly all day sickness really) for the first 3-4 months and none of them have multiples, so in my totally non-medical opinion, it seems like that varies a lot.

I saw the People article and there is a pic of Jill on (I think) the table of contents page. She is wearing a blue shirt with a white jeweled collar. In that pic she definitely looks pregnant. Can someone actually start showing in what would it have been -- 5 or 6 weeks? I didn't think that was possible. Maybe it's just the pose/clothes and she had a tiny pooch to begin with.... but if this baby is a preemie....

 

Nah, it couldn't be. Jill and Derick are too pure and obedient for any hanky-panky until the wedding night.  And a chaperone would have had to be bribed or drugged for it to happen.....but if this baby is a preemie....LOL

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I don't think she's "showing". I thinks she's relaxing her stomach muscles and wearing clothes that accentuate her abdomen, if it's not actual maternity wear (and it may very well be.) I've known some women who were so excited to get that positive result that they went right into the maternity tops that same day, even though they didn't need the elastic stretchy pants for several months. For some baby-centric women pregnant means maternity wear...period.

 

 

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/pregnancycalendar/tp/How-Big-Is-My-Baby-In-Pregnancy.htm

 

I don't know how to do the linking without showing all the blah blah :( sorry.  That site gives an idea of the size of the fetus each week. Just FYI for any who might be curious. 

Edited by anstar
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I think it's been mentioned in the PTV forums that Kelly Bates has used epidurals, and Michelle has had c-sections so she must have had spinals (like a better epidural, but you can't move anything), but I believe she didn't use epidurals with her vaginal/VBAC deliveries. Anna's were all unmedicated as they were at home or a birthing center. So, that's sort of a longer way of saying I don't know but I don't think that pain medication is explicitly not used in this group.

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It's a genuine accredited university, but it requires faculty to be young earth creationists, banned the campus democrats club because the democratic party is incompatable with the mission of the university, and doesn't allow kissing or watching rated R movies... so it's not exactly a typical or mainstream school.

Yeah, I'm definitely not arguing that it's accredited, that's obviously a fact. I did find a posting for an online adjunct position (nursing, so not science or religion) that says that adjuncts are required to be Christian and believe that the "world was created by God as expressed in the Genesis account of creation" (http://www.higheredjobs.com/m/search/details.cfm?Jobcode=175899039&aID=5980&print=yes)

It's totally possible they drop that requirementrequirement if they're having a recruiting crisis, or they include it in application but don't follow up? Their online programs are definitely growing, so you're totally right that finding qualified candidates must become harder if they hold firm to that.

Not trying to be argumentative - I just work in higher ed so these kinds of clauses in job descriptions (as well as student conduct codes as restrictive as Liberty's is) have always interested me!

Nursing is science.

My daughter played a couple of softball games at Liberty University a few years ago. At that time, they made their softball players wear skirts to play softball. Fortunately, they now allow the girls to wear pants like the other college teams.

The thing that annoyed me about that school was that the guys walking around looked like typical college students anywhere, with sloppy shorts and t-shirts. All of the girls looked like Duggars, with long skirts and carefully curled hair. They are required to wear skirts and dresses, while I guess the boys can do whatever they want.

A few years ago? Like 20? They wear pants just like any other college softball team. We have played them many times.

Edited by maraleia

Does anyone know whether this faith-group especially believes in unmedicated births? I confess I haven't watched enough of the shows to know.

Money is probably part of it, as is the desire to have multiple children. Many people believe that epidurals can stall out labor and lead to other interventions, and after you've had a c-section, finding sometime who will do a vaginal birth can be difficult. The more naturally you go, the higher chances of having future natural births.

  • Love 1

So Jill goes from pious virgin to marriage, kissing,sex and a baby on the way in less than a year?! Psychologically, that's a lot to take on, even for a well adjusted heathen. She's missed out on the "normal" milestones that teens and young adults go through. I just hope she has the emotional maturity to handle all of this without having a breakdown later on.

Edited by Joe Jitsu913

Actually she went from pious virgin to marriage, kissing, sex and a baby on the way in less than three months. 

Having been saddled with raising her own siblings and running her mother's household from an early age, she matured faster than most girls do these days, but she still missed out so much emotionally and will never get the chance now. 

 

Part of what is so upsetting about the way these parents (Duggar/Bates etc.) are raising their children is that by "protecting their hearts" they are denying them the opportunity to grow and learn...about themselves and about the world.  Yes, that first lost love hurts.  It's also a vital part of growing up.  We learn that we can survive the pain, that life does go on. We learn what works for us and what doesn't.  By shielding their children from the world, they are stunting them. Leaving them vulnerable, less protected, not more.  http://instructor.mstc.edu/instructor/swallerm/Struggle%20-%20Butterfly.htm

 

We're supposed to struggle. 

  • Love 9

Actually she went from pious virgin to marriage, kissing, sex and a baby on the way in less than three months.

Having been saddled with raising her own siblings and running her mother's household from an early age, she matured faster than most girls do these days, but she still missed out so much emotionally and will never get the chance now. 

 

Part of what is so upsetting about the way these parents (Duggar/Bates etc.) are raising their children is that by "protecting their hearts" they are denying them the opportunity to grow and learn...about themselves and about the world.  Yes, that first lost love hurts.  It's also a vital part of growing up.  We learn that we can survive the pain, that life does go on. We learn what works for us and what doesn't.  By shielding their children from the world, they are stunting them. Leaving them vulnerable, less protected, not more.  http://instructor.mstc.edu/instructor/swallerm/Struggle%20-%20Butterfly.htm

 

We're supposed to struggle. 

To the bolded, she actually went from pious virgin, to kissing, sex, and a baby on the way in the space of 10 days.

 

And yes, I called the July 1st conception even before the due date was put out there. :p (It was a post-honeymoon baby; Derick was back to work by Monday, June 30.)

 

As far as her returning to her midwife studies, I'll believe it when I see her doing more than photo ops at A Mommy's Butterfly, who already put feelers out for two midwife trainees while Jill was on her "break." Jana had also enrolled in the AR lay midwife program, so there are your two. Of course, Jana isn't going back; she's been in DC or with Smuganna wherever (last seen filming in IL and IN) this summer.

  • Love 3

Part of what is so upsetting about the way these parents (Duggar/Bates etc.) are raising their children is that by "protecting their hearts" they are denying them the opportunity to grow and learn...about themselves and about the world.  Yes, that first lost love hurts.  It's also a vital part of growing up.  We learn that we can survive the pain, that life does go on. We learn what works for us and what doesn't.  By shielding their children from the world, they are stunting them. Leaving them vulnerable, less protected, not more.  http://instructor.mstc.edu/instructor/swallerm/Struggle%20-%20Butterfly.htm

 

We're supposed to struggle. 

 

The thing is- their protection is more harmful than helpful. These kids will have to go into the big, bad world at some point and rather than preparing them for that as they age and allowing them to deal with these problems as they come (a first love, a fight with friends, standing up for yourself, having the discernment to know when to leave a party, ect.) they are setting them up to fail.

 

From a poem:: "Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger wind the stronger trees". 

  • Love 1

I'm so tired of these bloated (see what I did there?) pregnancy announcements. I miss the good old days, when we waited until a woman was clearly like 6 months along and then said behind her back, yeah, she's pregnant.

I'm beyond annoyed that my People mag moment at the grocery store is a 6 week along pregnancy announcement? And of a grade Z reality star at that. Harrumph!!

  • Love 8

I'm so tired of these bloated (see what I did there?) pregnancy announcements. I miss the good old days, when we waited until a woman was clearly like 6 months along and then said behind her back, yeah, she's pregnant.

I'm beyond annoyed that my People mag moment at the grocery store is a 6 week along pregnancy announcement? And of a grade Z reality star at that. Harrumph!!

 

Seriously. What ever happened to just calling family and friends and telling them you're pregnant? Why is everything such a big production nowadays? Don't even get me started on gender reveals...

  • Love 6

To the bolded, she actually went from pious virgin, to kissing, sex, and a baby on the way in the space of 10 days.

I keep coming back to this and how little sense it makes. I, as a godless heathen, have been dating (courting?) my similarly heathen-y boyfriend for almost 2 years. We have plans to move in together in the coming year, and have seriously talked marriage to the point that it's not really an if, it's a when. Babies are at least 5+ years off still, maybe even more like 7 or 8. And yet J'chelle and Boob think that by doing what they're doing, they're protecting their children from "giving away pieces of their hearts" and protecting them from having anything bad happen to them, at least as far as romantic relationships go. It seems to me that it would make more sense to have the young couple take their time and really get to know each other before, you know, hitching themselves to one another for eternity. But what do I know, I've kissed my boyfriend and we're not even married!

  • Love 5

There are different schools of thought on romantic commitment and how to make a lifetime marriage successful. There is no proof that living together is helpful to the success of a marriage and in fact the opposite is true. Couples the live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. So being more acquainted before marriage is not an indicator of a more successful union.

  • Love 1

 

Couples the live together before marriage are more likely to divorce.

That's actually no longer true.  It appears that the predictor is a couple's age at cohabitation, not whether or not a couple lives together.

 

I personally think it is absolutely nuts to think that it is scandalous and sinful and permanently damaging for your 20-something daughter to kiss her fiance but perfectly fine for her to marry an 18-year old without ever having been alone with him.

Edited by jcbrown
  • Love 14

Right now, the indicators for marriage success seem to be a college education for both parties, marriage after 25, no children before marriage and a household income great than that of the national average which is around $50,000.

But given that we are a nation of hundreds of millions of people, every single person posting here could be an outlier and it wouldn't matter to those statistics at all. Our sample size here is just too small - sort of like the chances of someone having a birthday on the same day as you sounds like it should be rare, but given enough people, you quickly realize it's actually common.

  • Love 4

Well my folks have been married 62 years. We children witnessed the good and the bad. Luckily vast majority good.  Of the four of us, 3 are on second marriages, I'm on my second divorce.  You never know!  I just hope that Jill and Derek have a long happy marriage.  And that Jill finishes her midwife training.  I'm looking forward to seeing the wedding shows.  Hopefully there isn't too much Jim-Bob and Michelle.  Wishful thinking.

I wish a lot of things but I don't believe for a second that Jill will ever finish her "lay" midwife training once she's been on the baby track. An education doesn't get you the cover of People magazine and what passes for celebrity these days. These young women have learned that making babies is their call to fame. I feel sorry for all the kids.

  • Love 4

Seeing that the new season starts tomorrow, I actually thought I'd be seeing Jill and Derick's wedding tomorrow. Silly me! My TiVo listing says something about a Mother's Day brunch. I wonder how many episodes until we get the wedding. I think Jill getting pregnant literally ten days after her wedding surprised even TLC. She's likely to be halfway through her pregnancy before we get to witness the walk down the aisle and the first kiss.

  • Love 2

I wish a lot of things but I don't believe for a second that Jill will ever finish her "lay" midwife training once she's been on the baby track. An education doesn't get you the cover of People magazine and what passes for celebrity these days. These young women have learned that making babies is their call to fame. I feel sorry for all the kids.

Agreed that the chances of her following through dropped to nearly zero with the announcement. Too bad: this would have given her a measure of independence and self-confidence in something other than her reproductive system. She may also have a husband who wouldn't be threatened by her completing training (though I'm still reserving judgment on how into Duggarland Derick will become). It was also realistic that she could have achieved this. Oh well.

  • Love 2

I'm curious on how Jennifer's going to handle Jill's baby. The poor girl had to deal with Jill moving out but has been able to visit her and sleep over. But that's going to change after Jill has her baby, obviously she's going to be very busy dealing with a newborn, her own baby. She's not going to be able to given Jennifer as much attention as she has had before. 

I'm curious on how Jennifer's going to handle Jill's baby. The poor girl had to deal with Jill moving out but has been able to visit her and sleep over. But that's going to change after Jill has her baby, obviously she's going to be very busy dealing with a newborn, her own baby. She's not going to be able to given Jennifer as much attention as she has had before.

Sure, she'll have less time, but I get the impression Jill is too sweet to forget abt her little sisters. Jill seems very nurturing.

She'll probably introduce the new baby as Jennifer's "sister".

Jessa, on the other hand....

  • Love 2

It is my opinion that both Derick AND Ben just need to go ahead and make it official...hand over their "manliness parts" to Jim Bob and change their last names to Duggar. That really is what this family wants to happen anyway, I, too, am concerned for Jennifer. I was worried when Jill moved out and married, and now, she's being "replaced" with a real child that is Jill's. Neither Jim Bob or Michelle is concerned for one moment about their childrens' emotional well being at all.

  • Love 4
I personally think it is absolutely nuts to think that it is scandalous and sinful and permanently damaging for your 20-something daughter to kiss her fiance but perfectly fine for her to marry an 18-year old without ever having been alone with him.

 

 

 

I sometimes think it's just too easy with this group, it's too easy to pick apart their inane arguments about how to handle relationships or love or babies or each other. Being married should be about so much more than attempting to be a human incubator or human incubatorer...or something along those lines.

I'm watching Josh's wedding episode & they have the 'dishing' segments with the older girls. Jill looks like she's gaining fast! I'm sure she'll even out, unless since she's slender, she'll be all belly! Thinking about it, I'm wondering how much exercise the duggars get? I wonder if Jill is taking "eating for two" to heart, even though you really don't need to eat much more each day, just a variety for nutrients.

Edited by jb0495
  • Love 1
I'm beyond annoyed that my People mag moment at the grocery store is a 6 week along pregnancy announcement?

I just don’t get the rationale for publicly announcing a pregnancy so early, considering the potential for a miscarriage. Isn’t it something like 15 - 20% that early on? Not terribly high, I know, but (for me personally) it’d be high enough that I’d keep my mouth shut until I was “out of the danger zone” so to speak. A public pregnancy announcement would necessitate a public miscarriage announcement, and suffering a miscarriage would be painful enough on its own.

 

My brother and SIL recently had a baby, and while they told me and other immediate family members super early - l think she was around 4 weeks along, so they must have told us as soon as they used the pee stick, lmao - we were under strict orders to not divulge the info to anyone else until my SIL was more safely along in her pregnancy.

 

Then again, the Duggars seem to have made a televised sport out of babies and pregnancy, so their take on the issue is obviously very different from mine lol.

 

ETA: Maybe super conservative fundamentalist Christians like the Duggars have lower divorce rates, I don’t know. But if they do, I’d wager a lot of it has to do with divorce being much more of a taboo, and people therefore being more willing to stay in unhappy marriages because divorce is a sin. And that’s not a good thing. Divorce isn’t the evil boogeyman that it’s made out to be.  Yes, some couples get divorced too quickly without making a good-faith effort to work things out. But sometimes divorce is really the best option for everyone involved even if there’s no actual abuse or adultery/cheating.

 

ETA 2: Another potential reason for possibly lower divorce rates - think of the status of women in a lot of fundamentalist circles. Some of them have no applicable skills or training; a lot of them haven’t even been to college. If they get divorced, where would they go? How would they support themselves? They can go back to their parents, maybe, but what if their parents aren’t supportive? Then what? I’ve known couples, not all of them Christian, where the woman felt compelled to stay in an unhappy marriage because she had no means to support herself.

Edited by galax-arena
  • Love 8

I'm watching Josh's wedding episode & they have the 'dishing' segments with the older girls. Jill looks like she's gaining fast! I'm sure she'll even out, unless since she's slender, she'll be all belly! Thinking about it, I'm wondering how much exercise the duggars get? I wonder if Jill is taking "eating for two" to heart, even though you really don't need to eat much more each day, just a variety for nutrients.

 

I suspect that could be, because those girls have no real knowledge of nutrition.  Jill probably picked up on the use of prenatal vitamins during pregnancy, but I don't know how much else she would have learned.  She might have taken the "eating for two" literally and not considered that a woman in early pregnancy doesn't really need to eat twice as much, she just has to eat smart.  I'd love to hear that she's taking nutrition courses, even if it's online.  One small dent into the real world could do so much good for her and her unborn child.

 

As for exercise, Jill's exercise to date seems to have been working at home to raise her siblings.  Again, I hope she's learning about keeping fit during pregnancy.

 

I'm really starting to wonder about what she and Derrick talk about outside of Bible verses and missionary work.

Derrick, you picked her; you married her.  You got the pretty girl who thinks you're the best thing ever and now she's bearing your child.  Time to stop thinking about the sex and showing off your bride, you need to start thinking about your child.  You have much more education than Jill, so it's up to you to make sure that Jill has the knowledge to make sure this pregnancy is healthy and has a happy ending.  You married a woman who is a child in many ways, and now that she's carrying your child you owe it to all of you to make this a success.

Zahdii- I agree completely! They should definitely step up to the plate now that they are expecting. Although, I know she took anatomy and physiology for the midwife certification, so maybe she did take nutrition classes. Hopefully. She may also be trying to eat more due to the morning sickness-wanting to get nutrition in her.

I'm honestly thinking it could be multiples. Most women do not show at all as early as Jill has. Unless her HCG is high and her hormones are just working in overdrive at the moment.

Regarding what they talk about- Jill said she had a huge list of questions prepared to ask Derick when they first started Skyping. I'm very curious to know what they were!!

I wonder if its because she's eating for two or finally can actually eat without having to split a meal twenty different ways. You know JimBob probably takes big helpings with no regard to how much food that leaves for anyone else. Some of the boys' probably do too.

 

I think it's the latter coupled with the fact that Jill likely isn't as active now that she doesn't have to cook, clean and do laundry for 20+ people every day. 

  • Love 1
I think it's the latter coupled with the fact that Jill likely isn't as active now that she doesn't have to cook, clean and do laundry for 20+ people every day.

 

 

Maybe that's really why Jill took time off from her studies she finally has an excuse to take a break after a lifetime of taking care of her brothers and sisters. She was tired and wanted a break. Its got to be kind of nice not having to do all that work, not having to clean up after so many kids every day, not hear the screaming and howlers. Go to bed when she wants, get up when she wants, go where she wants when she wants to go. 

I think she probably goes to bed whenever Derek wants to, because he has to get up for work. And she probably gets up before he does to put on her makeup, Tammy Fay style. And then fixes him breakfast. Then prepares lunch so she can take it to him at work. Then comes home and prepares dinner. Ugh.

Sounds SO fulfilling the way you tell it.

  • Love 2

Guys, with the new season starting, let's turn over a new leaf to try to keep things more on topic in here, OK?  I admit I've been lax about policing you; probably too lax for some tastes.  I'm going to go through tonight and cull out the last couple of pages here.  Anything that is on another topic or family member will be moved to that thread.  Posts that consist only of personal stories of childbirth or other issues that are really not connected to Jill and Derek may be deleted.  No offense intended, just trying to get things back on track.

 

Thank you for your cooperation and enjoy snarking on the new season!! :-)

My husband and I are expecting our first child in November. We didn't tell anyone until after I was 12 weeks along with the exception that each of us told our best friend and swore them to secrecy. We wanted to tell our moms on Mother's Day, when I'd be more than 12 weeks along (and as a special Mother's Day surprise...the timing just worked out that way and we probably would have waited longer to tell people if we hadn't wanted to tell our moms on Mother's Day).

I have had so many friends have miscarriages in the first trimester/early on and have seen people announce babies on social media then have to announce miscarriages on social media. I cannot get over that Jill and Derrick announced to the WORLD that they were expecting when she was like 6 weeks along. I couldn't even get into see my doctor until I was eight weeks along and didn't have an ultrasound for a couple of weeks after that.

My husband and I are in our early 30s, college educated, have established careers, have been married for 6 years, and still have moments when we're like "oh my god! The universe is trusting us with another human!" and we get nervous. I cannot imagine having purposely gotten pregnant after knowing my husband for such a short time like Jill and Derrick and without living my own independent adult life (like Jill) and without having spent time as a childless couple getting to know each other and having fun together. I do wish Jill & Derrick the best, but watching their story (and even more so the story of Ben & Jessa) makes me so glad I was able to and encouraged to find myself and get to really know my husband before becoming a wife and later, a mother.

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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Of all the kids, I think Jill would be most likely to study prenatal nutrition and not do something stupid. If she's "showing" at this point, it's due to clothing and posture, maybe a little bit of bloat. Jill isn't stupid, and it's actually quite smart of her to be interested in midwifery, because that's about the only way any sort of post-secondary education is encouraged in that household. 

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