Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[rue721]

Like someone said a while ago, it’ll be interesting if Jill ends up outgrowing Derick’s rigid, harsh worldview. I think it’s at least a possibility. 

I don’t get the sense that Jill is an especially hateful person, although I think a lot of hateful beliefs have been normalized for her (by her family and the little bubble she’s lived in). She seems very anxious to me, but not especially hateful 🤷🏻‍♀️ That said, Derick is certainly hateful and spiteful and angry, so who knows how that’s going to turn out.

Anyhow, my hope for her is that she starts taking some classes and/or gets a job. I can just 100% see her as a nurse, if she can handle the rigor of the education.
 

[Zella]

I'm not sure I can see Jill hacking it as a nurse. I just don't think she can handle the academic rigor, and she showed such bad judgment as a midwife, that I think personal growth for her might be admitting that she wasn't cut out for what she had wanted to do and being okay with that. 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Zella

[GeeGolly]

I don't see Jill as hateful either. Like @rue721 said, she likely doesn't know some of her beliefs are hateful. At his point in her life, Jill would struggle with any kind of job. She has never been held to any schedule - ever. I imagine by hour 4 she would be wanting to go home.

[lascuba]

40 minutes ago, Zella said:

I'm not sure I can see Jill hacking it as a nurse. I just don't think she can handle the academic rigor, and she showed such bad judgment as a midwife, that I think personal growth for her might be admitting that she wasn't cut out for what she had wanted to do and being okay with that. 

Not only couldn't she handle it academically, but as "not hateful" as she might be, she'd hit a wall really, really early when dealing with the general population and the variety of beliefs and lifestyles there. She'd be an abysmal nurse or any other profession that requires one to truly put their personal beliefs aside and care for someone else.

1 hour ago, Nysha said:

I spent the majority of my life in conservative, evangelical churches where women worked and wore whatever they wanted and those despicable beliefs were preached from the pulpit. I'm always surprised when people point them out as if it were some oddity, but in my experience the majority of christians feel the same way. 

I don't expect Derick and Jill to start supporting the LGBT+ community as long as they're attending churches that preach against it.

Exactly. The Duggars got so much attention not just because of their numbers, but because they were such visual oddities. The clothes and the hair are easy to focus on, and when those things change it seems more significant that it is. Jill may be a dumbass, but she knows good and goddamn well what her beliefs are and why people dislike her for it, even though she and her ilk tell themselves that their beliefs are about loving their neighbors and ensuring they don't go to hell. She's not without agency in this.

[MonicaM]

30 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't see Jill as hateful either. Like @rue721 said, she likely doesn't know some of her beliefs are hateful. At his point in her life, Jill would struggle with any kind of job. She has never been held to any schedule - ever. I imagine by hour 4 she would be wanting to go home.

I'm ready to go home by hour three!  😁

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, rue721 said:

Like someone said a while ago, it’ll be interesting if Jill ends up outgrowing Derick’s rigid, harsh worldview. I think it’s at least a possibility. 

I don’t get the sense that Jill is an especially hateful person, although I think a lot of hateful beliefs have been normalized for her (by her family and the little bubble she’s lived in). She seems very anxious to me, but not especially hateful 🤷🏻‍♀️ That said, Derick is certainly hateful and spiteful and angry, so who knows how that’s going to turn out.

Anyhow, my hope for her is that she starts taking some classes and/or gets a job. I can just 100% see her as a nurse, if she can handle the rigor of the education.
 

I really can't see Jill ever doing or thinking anything that is in conflict with Derick's beliefs.  For all that she seems to have changed, nothing has challenged Derick's views.  She may not be a hateful person, but she has had nothing but the idea that all LGBT+ people are sinful from the people who matter to her.

Also, she has never had to deal with a schedule or any formal education so it is hard to imagine that she is capable of training to be a nurse or any professional or even to hold down a full time job.

[Suzn]

22 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Not only couldn't she handle it academically, but as "not hateful" as she might be, she'd hit a wall really, really early when dealing with the general population and the variety of beliefs and lifestyles there. She'd be an abysmal nurse or any other profession that requires one to truly put their personal beliefs aside and care for someone else.

Exactly. The Duggars got so much attention not just because of their numbers, but because they were such visual oddities. The clothes and the hair are easy to focus on, and when those things change it seems more significant that it is. Jill may be a dumbass, but she knows good and goddamn well what her beliefs are and why people dislike her for it, even though she and her ilk tell themselves that their beliefs are about loving their neighbors and ensuring they don't go to hell. She's not without agency in this.

Exactly what I was trying to say.  The changes are superficial.

[Zella]

I think Jill would also really struggle with any task that requires her to be alone. It's not surprising to me that she has some issues about that because of the way she was raised, but I'd imagine if a boss assigned her a task that required her to sit in a cubicle and work by herself for a few hours, she would be jumping up every few minutes to talk to someone or call Derick or basically anything that didn't involve sitting there by herself. 

[cmr2014]

19 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Exactly what I was trying to say.  The changes are superficial.

I agree, up to a point.

I don't see Jill becoming open-minded or liberal, but her external changes are more significant than they might be for you or me.

Gothardism is all about rules. There are rules about hair, clothing, and speech that are extremely important. The fundamental point about the rules is that everyone must be obedient to the headship. Obedience is the big thing here, and J'chelle yammers about it all the time. Potty training is about obedience in their world. JB is the headship of the Duggar family, not Derick. Derick is Jill's headship, but JB is Derick's headship, and no one breaks his rules without punishment.

These things that seem small to us, are huge to her. Not only did she follow JB's rules growing up -- she was the MOST submissive, the MOST devoted, and the biggest snitch on those who strayed. Her world is undergoing a seismic shift right now, and while she may not end up very far away from my perspective, from hers and her family's, she has already very far away.

[Absolom]

As much trouble as Jill has had adapting to parenting two pre-schoolers, scheduling her and their days, keeping up with the house cleaning and cooking, plus finding activities for their sons, I think she's pretty much maxed out on her capabilities until Sam goes to school.  I can't see someone like that being able to handle the multi-taxing of nursing without a lot of personal change.

[kaleidoscope]

As the boys enter school, I hope Jill throws herself into all of the school activities.  She will learn right along with Iz about everything she was never allowed to experience....everything from 100 day to a fund raiser for a family in need.  Little by little, she can grow leaps and bounds.  I so want her to embrace all of that.  And maybe, just maybe, she will discover a passion.  Nursing was the only thing she was ever allowed to really consider.  Perhaps Jill will find something that makes her heart sing.  She clearly has an inner drive.  Jill is the only daughter to express a desire for a career.

Edited July 12, 2020 by kaleidoscope

[galaxychaser]

Jill can be a babysitter at her own home. Other than that she has no skills. Or a professional well lotioned clinger.

[ginger90]

3 pictures:

 

 

[dargosmydaddy]

Sam is wearing a "Big Bro" shirt... which I'll just assume is a hand-me-down from Israel, but if this was any other Duggar, I'd think was a pregnancy hint!

[Triple P]

32 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

Sam is wearing a "Big Bro" shirt... which I'll just assume is a hand-me-down from Israel, but if this was any other Duggar, I'd think was a pregnancy hint!

Someone commented to ask if "a precious announcement" is coming. Jill responded "Haha no" and confirmed that Sam grabbed Israel's shirt and refused to wear anything else.

[galaxychaser]

Sam is a little rascal! He is my favorite Duggar grandkid.

[xwordfanatik]

Stick with your two sons, Jill.  For whatever reason, I'm glad the Dillards seem to be avoiding breeding like rabbits.  

 

[dargosmydaddy]

From Jill's IG story.

 

[GeeGolly]

Jill wore jean shorts to a baby shower? She has all those cute outfits to pick from. A rather odd choice.

[Temperance]

I think Jill looks great in her jean shorts. Baby showers are hardly formal events. 

In light of the @GeeGolly's suspicions in the media thread, it makes me worried to see Jill with Joy. 

[GeeGolly]

54 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I think Jill looks great in her jean shorts. Baby showers are hardly formal events. 

In light of the @GeeGolly's suspicions in the media thread, it makes me worried to see Jill with Joy. 

I think that depends on the shower. A backyard one is very informal. A brunch at a nice restaurant is formal. The rest fall somewhere in between.

I'm dress very casual, even for work, I'm on the low side of business casual, but if I'm invited to an event, I will always dress for it. Maybe its just me.

[andromeda331]

10 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I think that depends on the shower. A backyard one is very informal. A brunch at a nice restaurant is formal. The rest fall somewhere in between.

I'm dress very casual, even for work, I'm on the low side of business casual, but if I'm invited to an event, I will always dress for it. Maybe its just me.

It really does. If its an informal one then jeans are fine. If its a more nicer event then nicer clothes. 

[ginger90]

[BigBingerBro]

Let's face it, these are the Duggars who only seem to dress up for weddings.  I can't imagine Joy wanting a semi-formal baby shower.

[GeeGolly]

11 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Let's face it, these are the Duggars who only seem to dress up for weddings.  I can't imagine Joy wanting a semi-formal baby shower.

The pics they showed were of guests dressed nicely.

[ginger90]

As far as I can tell, Jill is the only family member to post about the shower. 

She also used the picture to advertise:

[anna0852]

I'm hoping she wore the shorts as her own personal f-you to her upbringing. 

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I think that depends on the shower. A backyard one is very informal. A brunch at a nice restaurant is formal. The rest fall somewhere in between.

I'm dress very casual, even for work, I'm on the low side of business casual, but if I'm invited to an event, I will always dress for it. Maybe its just me.

I would love to have a place to wear a cute, casual summer dress right now. But I wouldn’t risk it even if I were invited.

[libgirl2]

10 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I would love to have a place to wear a cute, casual summer dress right now. But I wouldn’t risk it even if I were invited.

Before all this happened, I bought a really cute long summery dress that is gray and white tie dye. The perfect thing to wear with sandals on a nice vacation, sitting out by the water having a glass of wine with a meal.  We didn't go anywhere last year as I had surgeries. And the year before that, my dad was ill with brain cancer. This was going to be my year! I finally ended up wearing it out to dinner one night but it just didn't have the same feel. 

[zenme]

1 hour ago, BigBingerBro said:

Let's face it, these are the Duggars who only seem to dress up for weddings.  I can't imagine Joy wanting a semi-formal baby shower.

Yes! If she was wearing shoes she was dressed up.

Edited July 13, 2020 by zenme

[Sew Sumi]

15 minutes ago, zenme said:

Yes! If she was wearing shoes she was dressed up.

LOL! I saw a full length shot of her and yes, she was wearing flats.

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

I would love to have a place to wear a cute, casual summer dress right now. But I wouldn’t risk it even if I were invited.

Ugh. I so feel this. 

[GeeGolly]

Here is one pic of the shower. I believe someone posted more in Joy's thread.

 

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by GeeGolly

[galaxychaser]

13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

As far as I can tell, Jill is the only family member to post about the shower. 

She also used the picture to advertise:

Super tacky to advertise in that situation 

[doodlebug]

14 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Ugh. I so feel this. 

My niece had a 'drive by' bridal shower last weekend.  She wore a cute sundress and my sister and I attended wearing our summer dresses that have gone nowhere this summer.  We got out of the car to greet her from a distance, wearing masks and left the gift on a table set up in her driveway.  She gave us a little bag of treats to take home. Very festive.

If I were Jill, I would've worn something a little dressier from 3130 for the occasion.  However, unlike me, it's not like she's been staying home or social distancing.  It's been life as usual, so she probably doesn't care if she dresses up.

Edited July 14, 2020 by doodlebug

[ginger90]

[Temperance]

11 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Here is one pic of the shower. I believe someone posted more in Joy's thread.

 

 

Carlin's dress looks like a summer sleep shirt.  If Carlin's happy, I'm happy for her. Carlin should wear what she wants, but her dress is not formal imo. 

It could be generational, probably my mom would dress up more than I would.   I also would dress more formerly if we were going to a nice restaurant rather than someone's house. 

 

[Spencer Hastings]

15 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Carlin's dress looks like a summer sleep shirt.  If Carlin's happy, I'm happy for her. Carlin should wear what she wants, but her dress is not formal imo. 

It could be generational, probably my mom would dress up more than I would.   I also would dress more formerly if we were going to a nice restaurant rather than someone's house. 

 

It might be generational or regional, or even based on social class.  It’s never occurred to me to dress up for a baby shower.  Most showers I’ve been to (I’m at the age where there are a ton), the mother is even dressed pretty casually. 

[jcbrown]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

"Me and the boys." Ugh. Way to model proper grammar for your kids.

[Zella]

1 hour ago, jcbrown said:

"Me and the boys." Ugh. Way to model proper grammar for your kids.

I bet if any of the Duggars were asked what was grammatically wrong with that title, they couldn't tell you. 😞 

[galaxygirl76]

I have to admit that I like she wore shorts to that shower. She's not hiding her pants wearing hussy ways from her family, which pleases me because she should be able to wear whatever the hell she wants. 

[Ohiopirate02]

13 hours ago, Temperance said:

Carlin's dress looks like a summer sleep shirt.  If Carlin's happy, I'm happy for her. Carlin should wear what she wants, but her dress is not formal imo. 

It could be generational, probably my mom would dress up more than I would.   I also would dress more formerly if we were going to a nice restaurant rather than someone's house. 

 

The new look for summer 2020 is a nap dress.  A nap dress is a fancy word for a nice enough cotton nightgown that you just wear all day while social distancing at home.  Carlin's look is right on trend. 

Just look at this one, it even fits the Duggar-Bates-Rodrigues modesty standards

[GeeGolly]

13 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

The new look for summer 2020 is a nap dress.  A nap dress is a fancy word for a nice enough cotton nightgown that you just wear all day while social distancing at home.  Carlin's look is right on trend. 

Just look at this one, it even fits the Duggar-Bates-Rodrigues modesty standards

Throw a few snaps in the front and it could be an old school housecoat.

[galaxychaser]

14 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Throw a few snaps in the front and it could be an old school housecoat.

Or a breastfeeding gown 🤣

[Normades]

Did anyone see the Daily Mail article about Derrick speaking out about JimBoob?  Some really explosive stuff.

[MargeGunderson]

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

The new look for summer 2020 is a nap dress.  A nap dress is a fancy word for a nice enough cotton nightgown that you just wear all day while social distancing at home.  Carlin's look is right on trend. 

Just look at this one, it even fits the Duggar-Bates-Rodrigues modesty standards

I believe that’s also called a schmatta, as worn by the Golden Girls in their late night talks.

[Ohiopirate02]

You can't call it a housecoat or a schmatta or even a nightgown if you want people to pay $100+ for it.  

[zenme]

Am I the only one who likes this frock? I love it! I’d totally wear it with some wedge sandals! 

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, zenme said:

Am I the only one who likes this frock? I love it! I’d totally wear it with some wedge sandals! 

Me too, if it was shorter. Or maybe tunic length with capri leggings.

[Ohiopirate02]

4 minutes ago, zenme said:

Am I the only one who likes this frock? I love it! I’d totally wear it with some wedge sandals! 

The company has a lower cut one that I covet, but I can't justify $125 for it.

 

https://www.hillhousehome.com/collections/nightgowns?gclid=Cj0KCQjw0rr4BRCtARIsAB0_48MCRoT6B8i9SfAuTIMJ-XPssh2UVZ_CVQqCScxBeUOeZ43r1ecsi4saAhKXEALw_wcB