Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Lady Whistleup]

2 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Poor Izzy, why did they even bother starting him in public school? He really seemed to like it. 

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

[ozziemom]

Jill really struggles to make cohesive sentences in her Instagram posts. Lots of um and like. Does that make her more relatable to her followers? IDK, I just feel bad for Izzy and Sam, it seemed like public school was the plan for the Dillards. Now it seems they’re homeschooling with a mom who won’t answer questions about it. It’s not our business, but she puts out content that teases her followers with “oh isn’t writing on windows cute” and looks for engagement by asking for other fun suggestions. 

[BradandJanet]

5 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

Yes. She grew up with that lazy mindset. Also, she probably likes having company while Derek's away. She doesn't seem to have much initiative to find things to do on her own.

I hope Derek puts a stop to homeschooling before too long so the kids will get a decent education. He knows by now that Jill didn't learn much at the Duggar Academy. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

4 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

Could be a number of things, and not all of them necessarily negative. I don't follow all their circumstances as closely as some here, so I may be off track, but wasn't there talk of the area they were in not having great school systems? Maybe the house they are in now is something they hope to upgrade from in another couple of years, and thought that the homeschooling in the interim would be less disruptive? I don't know that that would be true, for the record...We were a military family, and moved around every couple of years as a matter of course. When our kids were just a year or so older than theirs, we were stationed in Guam, whose public school system (at the time, anyway) was abysmal, but private school would have been a huge stretch for us, so we chose to send them to the public schools anyway, as they were young enough and bright enough that we figured any holes in their education could easily be made up for by simply paying attention to what they were being taught, and supplementing. Also, knowing myself, I just didn't think I had the necessarily discipline to home-school effectively for the longer term. They are all fully functioning adults now, all having gotten into their first choice of colleges, and all homeowners with good jobs and rich social lives, so I guess it worked out. 

I hope that jill and Derick do eventually choose to put their kids back in school, and that they are also still both young and bright enough that the disruption will not have a long term effect. 

Of course, if the SOTDRT is it for the long haul, I'm less optimistic.

[Lisa418722]

Izzy seemed so happy to be going to school.  I wonder if Sam was looking forward to going as well.  I think between Freddy being born and Derrick going to work, Jill didn't want to have to deal with a public school schedule.  

[Teriacky]

Too bad, Jill. Suck it up for your children’s sake. They need a decent education as well as socialization with other kids. Millions of mommies take their kids to school 5 days a week (and to extracurricular activities) and also have infants at home. 
Hubby isn’t around 24/7? Think of military wives who don’t see their husbands for months at a time. My mom did it and I still went to school/activities. I know you grew up in a pack, but time alone is not a bad thing.

[jacourt]

Sorry Jill,  your life is not any more stressful than other mothers of young children.  They get their kids off to school, take care of babies and deal with a husband with a full time job. I am so tired of hearing poor Jill.  This is being an adult.  You are not going to be giving your children the social and educational experiences they need.  The excuse is she was sheltered and poorly homeschooled.  Instead of giving her children what she didn't get to ensure their futures, she is perpetuating the craziness. Don't we all want to do better than our parents?

And even more aggravating is that Derrick is allowing this.  He should know better.  He knows Jills educational shortcoming and is allowing his children to be educated by her.  

[Salacious Kitty]

46 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Could be a number of things, and not all of them necessarily negative. I don't follow all their circumstances as closely as some here, so I may be off track, but wasn't there talk of the area they were in not having great school systems? Maybe the house they are in now is something they hope to upgrade from in another couple of years, and thought that the homeschooling in the interim would be less disruptive? I don't know that that would be true, for the record...We were a military family, and moved around every couple of years as a matter of course. When our kids were just a year or so older than theirs, we were stationed in Guam, whose public school system (at the time, anyway) was abysmal, but private school would have been a huge stretch for us, so we chose to send them to the public schools anyway, as they were young enough and bright enough that we figured any holes in their education could easily be made up for by simply paying attention to what they were being taught, and supplementing. Also, knowing myself, I just didn't think I had the necessarily discipline to home-school effectively for the longer term. They are all fully functioning adults now, all having gotten into their first choice of colleges, and all homeowners with good jobs and rich social lives, so I guess it worked out. 

I hope that jill and Derick do eventually choose to put their kids back in school, and that they are also still both young and bright enough that the disruption will not have a long term effect. 

Of course, if the SOTDRT is it for the long haul, I'm less optimistic.

The main deal for Jill is probably that the boys would be attending two different schools. That plus the baby was probably too much for her. The boys will always be in different schools up to middle school, as I under the structure, so let's see what they do next year when Freddy is older.

[ginger90]

It isn’t known that Israel isn’t going to school. Sam was born in July, they may have decided to start him this upcoming school year.

I realize she could just answer the damn questions, but she doesn’t have to.

[Snow Fairy]

When she was cooking crock pot meal she sad Sam was helping her. I want to believe Izzy wasn't there helping because he was at school 

[sagittarius sue]

3 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

i agree.  Also Jill has seemed to have problems dealing with an infant alone in the past so she wanted the other kids as company as Derick is working now.  She's following her parents' example where the parents are most important no matter what might be better for the children.

[GeeGolly]

Derick is joining in Jill's IG fun. She posted a reel showing how differently a mom finds something a baby bag, than a dad.

[BigBingerBro]

[jacourt]

Nice to see a kid that can write in script. 

[SMama]

6 minutes ago, jacourt said:

Nice to see a kid that can write in script. 

Fundies are down right anal about cursive writing. Alyssa’s girls started at a very early age. IIRC the Duggars made and probably still have their kids write long bible verses as part of their curriculum. They have posted their work. Pity they don’t have that same determination with science and math. 

[floridamom]

I don't think the prosecutor's office would like it very much that Derrick's wife is having dinner with him at the office. There is a lot of sensitive material in the office that Jill is not privy to. When my husband started out in the DA's office, I SELDOM was there. Only once or twice, after hours, and only for a minute or two due to an important personal reason. Derrick should be handling small 3rd degree misdemeanors right now and should not be taking so much of his time at night. Jill needs to put on her grown up undies and handle matters at home herself. There is no need for her to "find things to do" since she has a full household, a husband and 3 children to care for. She just isn't organized IMO. If the boys would attend school, she would have a better opportunity to run errands and get her housework done while they are gone. It worked for me. I wish the best for Izzy and Sam. 

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't think the prosecutor's office would like it very much that Derrick's wife is having dinner with him at the office. There is a lot of sensitive material in the office that Jill is not privy to. When my husband started out in the DA's office, I SELDOM was there. Only once or twice, after hours, and only for a minute or two due to an important personal reason. Derrick should be handling small 3rd degree misdemeanors right now and should not be taking so much of his time at night. Jill needs to put on her grown up undies and handle matters at home herself. There is no need for her to "find things to do" since she has a full household, a husband and 3 children to care for. She just isn't organized IMO. If the boys would attend school, she would have a better opportunity to run errands and get her housework done while they are gone. It worked for me. I wish the best for Izzy and Sam. 

I think Jill needs to "grow up" too, but, do you think the DA office has a break room or some place where staff eats anyway?  Without sensitive information? The first Mr lookeyloo was a doctor in training and in some situations I would take the kids to where he was for a meal, mostly because they didn't see him otherwise. He wanted us to do this.  Before he got involved with the nurse and left us.   We were never where there were patients or records or anything.

[GeeGolly]

I would think Derick uses his office to meet with clients so he has a place to put private files.

I just can't imagine packing up the boys at that hour to drive a half hour, eat and then drive a half hour back. And wouldn't that keep Derick at the office even longer?

Have him get take out and eat together by Zoom.

[SMama]

12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I would think Derick uses his office to meet with clients so he has a place to put private files.

I just can't imagine packing up the boys at that hour to drive a half hour, eat and then drive a half hour back. And wouldn't that keep Derick at the office even longer?

Have him get take out and eat together by Zoom.

This is one of the many ways where Jill's clinginess is so annoying. Like you said, it's a lot of trouble to haul kids and dinner to get at the most half an hour of face time with Derick. Yet she won't put any effort to get Izzy and Sam to school.  The fact is that she can get organized enough when she wants to and it's vile that her children's education is not enough incentive to get her act together.

She could red shirt Sam this year and homeschool him. She won't be totally alone with Freddy, and it will help her ease into dealing with two different schools next school year.  But no, it's all or nothing for her. Jill went from being part of a herd to creating her own micro herd. Neither arrangement is healthy. I'm sure that there are many other parents who are in her same situation. They idon'thave the luxury of keeping their kids at home due to learned helplessness. 

I would not be surprised if parents with two kids carpool. One parent takes their kid and others to one school and vice versa. Derick should take his role as headship seriously and stop indulging Jill's neediness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[andromeda331]

Would Derrick already have an office even though he hasn't been there very long? I wondered about the break room my only references is Law & Order which we never saw a break room. Do they have break rooms?

[floridamom]

Derick very well may have his own little office OR he may have to share depending on office space. As the "new guy" he would have the smallest office as the other attorneys "move up" in office accommodations as new hires begin work. This was my former husband's experience. Getting the "corner office" with the nice windows was truly a perk and "showed your status"..usually an upper experienced felony attorney (capital case person) gets that office.

Yes, they have break rooms; which serve as a place to eat their lunch.

I can't imagine hauling a crock pot/plates/utensils/napkins/beverages through the DA's office to have dinner with Derrick. This just seems to be a classless thing to do. 

[SMama]

14 minutes ago, floridamom said:

This just seems to be a classless thing to do. 

In other words right on brand for a Duggar.

[ozziemom]

I’m hoping that Derick decided not to push public school since there were so many changes at once for Jill. New baby, new house and new schedule for Derick which limits his time at home. Maybe next fall after things are more settled the boys will go to public school. There will be no Pistol Pete #3 if homeschooling continues. Jill also needs to find a friend in her neighborhood, seems like there was one back at the other house.

[ChristmasCandy]

6 hours ago, floridamom said:

 

 

I can't imagine hauling a crock pot/plates/utensils/napkins/beverages through the DA's office to have dinner with Derrick. This just seems to be a classless thing to do. 

Well do any of the Duggars know what class is?

[MaryAnneSpier]

I don't know much about the world of practicing law, but I would think they have a break room. I often think Jill is too needy, but if she goes to Derrick's work just once or twice a month to have supper together when he's working late, I don't have a problem with that. It may be the only time the family gets to spend together. If, however, she's doing it frequently and overstaying her welcome and the kids are running wild, that's a different story.  

[libgirl2]

19 minutes ago, MaryAnneSpier said:

I don't know much about the world of practicing law, but I would think they have a break room. I often think Jill is too needy, but if she goes to Derrick's work just once or twice a month to have supper together when he's working late, I don't have a problem with that. It may be the only time the family gets to spend together. If, however, she's doing it frequently and overstaying her welcome and the kids are running wild, that's a different story.  

I agree, if it is once or twice a month, that is fine, but this is Jill, it is probably much more often than that. 

[Salacious Kitty]

19 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I agree, if it is once or twice a month, that is fine, but this is Jill, it is probably much more often than that. 

And if she's homeschooling, she doesn't have to worry about keeping the kids up past their bedtimes. Because an hour of this venture is spent driving. 

[floridamom]

Unless Derrick is as unorganized as Jill, there is no need for him to continually stay late at the office. If, on occasion he does need to, there is no reason why Jill and the boys can't sit down and have dinner together and she can keep a plate warm for Derrick when he arrives home. He is not running the country; he's a misdemeanor assistant prosecutor in an Oklahoma county. He has to start somewhere and this is the level in which they start. He may have a high caseload but these types of offenses usually plead out. No need to "prepare for trial" on most of them. This has been my experience in the past. Sorry, I forgot to include that Jill needs to tend to sweet Fenna also in her daily chores.

[babyhouseman]

On 1/11/2023 at 4:25 PM, floridamom said:

I can't imagine hauling a crock pot/plates/utensils/napkins/beverages through the DA's office to have dinner with Derrick.

If true, I wonder what the other coworkers think, I would think, "Here comes the Beverly Hillbilly with the picnic lunch". 

[Absolom]

I doubt there are any co-workers around the office when Jill comes by.  Isn't this a tiny county office with maybe three attorneys in it?

[LilJen]

 

On 1/11/2023 at 9:34 AM, floridamom said:

I don't think the prosecutor's office would like it very much that Derrick's wife is having dinner with him at the office. There is a lot of sensitive material in the office that Jill is not privy to. When my husband started out in the DA's office, I SELDOM was there.

“Don’t worry, boss. She barely knows how to read.”

On 1/11/2023 at 12:58 PM, SMama said:

I would not be surprised if parents with two kids carpool. One parent takes their kid and others to one school and vice versa. Derick should take his role as headship seriously and stop indulging Jill's neediness.

A friend and I were discussing the lost art of carpooling the other day. My sisters and I did it all the time with other families, and it seemed ridiculous to do otherwise. Maybe our society is just that much more isolated and individualistic since the 1970s 🙁

[crazy8s]

41 minutes ago, LilJen said:

A friend and I were discussing the lost art of carpooling the other day. My sisters and I did it all the time with other families, and it seemed ridiculous to do otherwise. Maybe our society is just that much more isolated and individualistic since the 1970s 🙁

One of the big differences in carpooling since the 1970s is the need for child safety seats. The moving them from car to car and having enough for each kid is a big deterrent. Long gone are the days of pulling into a driveway and having a couple extra kids hop in whatever car.

For my son to drive one or two extra kids to basketball or whatever would mean he would have to remove their own infant seat and toddler seat to have room. The hassle isn't worth it.

Edited January 13, 2023 by crazy8s

[Minivanessa]

On 1/12/2023 at 5:24 PM, Absolom said:

I doubt there are any co-workers around the office when Jill comes by.  Isn't this a tiny county office with maybe three attorneys in it?

Yes. I looked it up back when Derick was landing there. IIRC it's located in in a suite in the Adair County Courthouse in Stilwell. I can't find current info online about the office's staffing; a 3 year old web page shows what looks like four full time attorneys + a lawyer in private practice who provides some services. I looked up those listed attorneys and AFAIK none are still there. One has moved on to be an Assistant US Attorney, which is a big step up professionally (and financially). One of the attorney positions was devoted to child support enforcement, not criminal prosecutions, for Adair and another county.

Adair County is one of four counties in the District Attorney's district. Adair County's population is about 22,000, and it's not the main office for that DA's district. That office is in Wagoner. 

I don't see Jill and the kids taking dinner to Derick as a big deal. I'm sure he's not working a heavy felony caseload, but he may have an occasional evening meeting or something like that. 

Edited January 16, 2023 by Jeeves
Clarity about population #

[floridamom]

I watched Joy's "sister" YouTube which included Jana's birthday lunch. Her birthday this year was on a weekday and I noticed Izzy and Sam seated at the table with the ladies. Sadly, I think this is our confirmation that those boys are not attending school this year. I truly hope Jill and Derick re-consider this decision.

[Madtown]

Freddy started swim lessons. Jill said that Izzy and Sam were at thier lessons too. She had an insta story and there was a brief spot in the video where Freddie turns his head a little. I think he looks like Sam from what I saw.

As far as homeschooling. I don't ever trust any of these people when they post videos. I think they post videos from a weekend on a weekday, just to stir the pot.

Edited January 17, 2023 by Madtown

[SMama]

Too bad Jessa doesn’t want to bother taking her kids to swim lessons. I’m sure Goldfish would make her a partner. It would be nice for the Feral Seewalds to do something fun, and also a life saving skill. Instead, Jessa is chilling Snuggle Me using Fern who is almost a year past the age to use the product.

Good for Jill and Derick to get Freddy started so early. I loved mommy and me swim lessons. SBaby was and still is a water baby. 

[ScorpioSoul]

Since Derrick was there, I am assuming it was on a weekend. In regards to school, I do think that neither of the older boys are in school. She has had multiple instances to clarify that they are in school. She can post photos or mention school with out posting what school they are in. I do hope like another poster stated that D agreed to take this year off with the move, the new job, and new baby all at once. I do hope they can get back to school next year even if it is a Christian school.

Edited January 17, 2023 by ScorpioSoul

[SMama]

16 minutes ago, ScorpioSoul said:

I do hope they can get back to school next year even if it is a Christian school.

I don’t think Derick makes enough to afford private school tuition for two kids. Although it would be nice. Like you I really hope this is for this school year to give Jill time to acclimate to so many changes. 

[Salacious Kitty]

The boys were at Jana's daytime birthday party last week. Her birthday was on a weekday, and Derick obviously wasn't around to watch them. By contrast, Joy only brought Evy. Jessa was there, but I didn't see any of her kids.

[Absolom]

2 hours ago, Madtown said:

As far as homeschooling. I don't ever trust any of these people when they post videos. I think they post videos from a weekend on a weekday, just to stir the pot.

For sure and in this case there is Derick in the pool.  He doesn't have enough time on the job to be taking off work for swimming lessons.  

[Panopticon]

3 hours ago, SMama said:

I don’t think Derick makes enough to afford private school tuition for two kids. Although it would be nice. Like you I really hope this is for this school year to give Jill time to acclimate to so many changes. 

Maybe Jill and Derick can get their grift on to get tuition money for the kids? They’re not inexperienced in the art of getting stuff for free, even if they’re generally less successful than Team Vuolo. 

[sagittarius sue]

6 minutes ago, Panopticon said:

Maybe Jill and Derick can get their grift on to get tuition money for the kids? They’re not inexperienced in the art of getting stuff for free, even if they’re generally less successful than Team Vuolo. 

As he's now a county employee, I don't think it would be a good look for him to be grifting.  I'm not denying grifting happens in governmental work, but I don't think he'd want to endanger his career.

[Lady Jane]

On 1/12/2023 at 9:24 AM, MaryAnneSpier said:

I don't know much about the world of practicing law, but I would think they have a break room. I often think Jill is too needy, but if she goes to Derrick's work just once or twice a month to have supper together when he's working late, I don't have a problem with that. It may be the only time the family gets to spend together. If, however, she's doing it frequently and overstaying her welcome and the kids are running wild, that's a different story.  

In 25 years of practice, I've never seen a spouse come to the office for a meal. I've seen spouses drop off take-out (before UberEats etc) but not ever in the office. "These days" there's less than absolutely no reason to work late, unless you prefer the solitude of an empty office. Everything is online, all files and filings are digital, etc. I am going to be generous and assume that the "office" space in their home is where Derwood works if he has to work late. I would absolutely side-eye a spouse having a meal in the break room or the attorney's office. (No shade meant to you at all @MaryAnneSpier, 100% at J&D!) Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a lawyer eat in the break room, either. If you're working late and eating, you're at your desk multitasking so you can actually go home eventually. Whole thing is peculiar to me.

ETA: He's practicing in OK, right? As of Nov 2022 ADA salary in OK was $60,417. It is set by statute. Just for figurin' purposes for all you mathers out there

Edited January 18, 2023 by Lady Jane
I forget stuff

[Lady Whistleup]

I find the Duggar habit of visiting their husbands at work so weird. Work is usually a space where people can have a separate existence from their spouses. I remember the videos of Joy visiting Austin at the construction sites and Austin looking less than thrilled and barely paying attention to Joy.

It all goes back to the lack of structure and work ethic of the Duggars. They don't get that work is a space for ... work. 

[jcbrown]

55 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

It all goes back to the lack of structure and work ethic of the Duggars. They don't get that work is a space for ... work. 

I think it is both of those things, for sure. I think it is also because they are taught that the marriage is primary above everything else. They did not have an example of how to make that work sine Boob didn't have a real job, so Jill is applying it the way she thinks is right and hanging off DeerTick like a barnacle. She's gotten better, for sure, but she would drive me right up the wall for that reason among others.

[sagittarius sue]

10 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I find the Duggar habit of visiting their husbands at work so weird. Work is usually a space where people can have a separate existence from their spouses. I remember the videos of Joy visiting Austin at the construction sites and Austin looking less than thrilled and barely paying attention to Joy.

It all goes back to the lack of structure and work ethic of the Duggars. They don't get that work is a space for ... work. 

They don't understand the boundaries that "normal" people live and work under.

[Tasya]

Tuition at a private Christian school that is not a top tier (DC area, think St. Albans, Georgetown Visitation etc.) around here can be as low as 5k per child, with sibling discounts. So I can imagine that a school in Arkansas is going to cost much less than that. They can certainly afford private school, and they would also potentially qualify for financial aid. I make close to 6 figures and my son will be attending private school next year and we are receiving aid, so Derrick and Jill would definitely qualify. 

[GeeGolly]

The closest private Christian school to the Dillards costs over $9000 a year for K - 5 and $10,000 a year for high school.

[Lady Whistleup]

Jill showed her, the three boys, and Fenna going for a walk in the middle of the day. It makes me so sad to see Izzy pulled out of school.

[ginger90]

I don’t mean to harp on this, but we don’t know the school situation. I recall Duggars posting pictures on the day of a wedding that were to suggest the wedding wasn’t that day, but it was, and the pictures weren’t actually taken that day. Just an example.

Edited January 18, 2023 by ginger90