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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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4 hours ago, Suzn said:

I don't get the difficulty in getting a saliva swab from a dog you know.  You sit down, call the dog, talk to the dog, pet the dog, pick up the swab, and while still petting the dog, quickly dip the swab in the dog's mouth.  There's no reason for difficulty.

My Chihuahua would disagree. He seems to instinctively know the difference between a pet and anything else and he fights with the strength of 100 lions. LOLOL

That being said, I'd never chase the little guy through the house like that. 

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2 minutes ago, Zella said:

My Chihuahua would disagree. He seems to instinctively know the difference between a pet and anything else and he fights with the strength of 100 lions. LOLOL

That being said, I'd never chase the little guy through the house like that. 

Obviously, I don't know Chihuahuas!  I'm thinking about my Aussie (profile pic) who would put her chin on my knee and let me do whatever.

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2 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I don't know about dogs but if we tried to do that to my cat, blood would be shed. 

I did that to my cat; he wasn't happy but blood was not shed (and he bites me fairly regularly).  He did chew on the swab a bit, but I still got a reading.

All in all, though, it should have been easy to swab a dog, but I'm sure they made a huge deal out of it and scared her half to death.  

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In the photo of Jill with the Italian boxed food kit, her hair is excessively long again. I thought she posted that this length of hair was giving her headaches. She had a lot of length cut off. No headaches now?

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Wow. 💲💲 I doubt Jill could charge $1000 because her engagement rate is more around 20,000 on average and the recent food subscription post only has 3500. But even if she charged say, $300, she would have made that for about 15 minutes of work and got some free meals. Not bad considering its more than the average person makes in an 8 hour day.

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On 1/4/2023 at 6:13 PM, Zella said:

My Chihuahua would disagree. He seems to instinctively know the difference between a pet and anything else and he fights with the strength of 100 lions. LOLOL

That being said, I'd never chase the little guy through the house like that. 

So would my labs. Even the sweetest most chilled one would fight if you went towards him with a swab. 

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It sounds as if Jill put turkey on the swab to try and get it in Fenna's mouth. What they showed wasn't pretty, I can only imagine how awful what they didn't show us was.

Don't forget, Derick and Jill were part of CatGate.

And there's no way Fenna lives in the house. I'm guessing she spends a lot of time alone in the garage. Also, Derick and Jill, trying to be careful with their words still let it slip out they were only doing the DNA test to see if they can find out why she's "so crazy".

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

It sounds as if Jill put turkey on the swab to try and get it in Fenna's mouth. What they showed wasn't pretty, I can only imagine how awful what they didn't show us was.

Wouldn't doing that risk the results come back showing turkey ancestry 😆?

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You don't terrorize your pet just because you're curious about their breeding.  The dog is an adult now, and for better or worse, she's the dog they have trained her to be.  She's not even the breed the shelter said she was.  

I can understand testing a puppy, so you can be aware of potential health risks and behaviors as they grow, and can prepare for them, and aging pet issues down the road.  

Aside from giving her health care, decent food and loving attention, what else does the dog need that the test could make them aware of?  

More stupid behavior from stupid people.  As expected. 

 

Edited by SnapHappy
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18 minutes ago, SnapHappy said:

I can understand testing a puppy, so you can be aware of potential health risks and behaviors as they grow, and can prepare for them, and aging pet issues down the road.  

I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be a good idea for those reasons, no matter the dog’s age, if it’s a good idea as a puppy.

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be a good idea for those reasons, no matter the dog’s age, if it’s a good idea as a puppy.

Indeed, I've read that a DNA medical tendencies has led to unnecessary medical tests and even possibly euthanasia on poor dogs.

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All dogs are different even within breeds. Proper attention and proper care, including a Vet, is really all you need. If a dog owner isn't able to provide that I'm in favor of rehoming the pet. The trauma of rehoming is nothing if the dog can end up in a home where its cherished.

Maybe Fenna needs a home with humans who can appreciate (or tame) her crazy and has lots of time for her. IMO, the Dillard home is not a good fit. 

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My first question is if they are walking Fenna twice a day and for how far or how long.  The first rule of thumb is a tired dog is a happy dog.  Dogs need the physical outlet of running and walking and can easily become pains if they don't get enough.  I inherited my mom's hyper herbie dog, but with three moderate walks a day he suddenly became a mostly easily managed, happier lap dog.   He HAD to go out and be in the world and see the sights and smell the smells.  I would bet that neither adult is seeing this from the dog's perspective.  

Second, I would also expect they haven't considered the effect of adding an infant to the family.  Dogs do notice these things.  My daughter's dog quite had her nose out of joint when the first grandchild arrived.  It was funny when the second one came in the door.  The dog stopped, stared, looked like not another one, turned, went upstairs and curled up in a closet.  She was never a fan of crying infants.  At about six months she'd start approaching them though as they dropped food from the high chair or had toys to steal.  No doubt Jill and Derick are doing the reverse of giving the dog a bit of extra attention.

They're more than likely blaming the dog when it's their actions making the situation worse.  Fenna is just a curious, energetic dog who needs an outlet for that and some basic training in acceptable behavior I expect.  

 

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4 hours ago, Absolom said:

My first question is if they are walking Fenna twice a day and for how far or how long.  The first rule of thumb is a tired dog is a happy dog.  Dogs need the physical outlet of running and walking and can easily become pains if they don't get enough.  I inherited my mom's hyper herbie dog, but with three moderate walks a day he suddenly became a mostly easily managed, happier lap dog.   He HAD to go out and be in the world and see the sights and smell the smells.  I would bet that neither adult is seeing this from the dog's perspective.  

Second, I would also expect they haven't considered the effect of adding an infant to the family.  Dogs do notice these things.  My daughter's dog quite had her nose out of joint when the first grandchild arrived.  It was funny when the second one came in the door.  The dog stopped, stared, looked like not another one, turned, went upstairs and curled up in a closet.  She was never a fan of crying infants.  At about six months she'd start approaching them though as they dropped food from the high chair or had toys to steal.  No doubt Jill and Derick are doing the reverse of giving the dog a bit of extra attention.

They're more than likely blaming the dog when it's their actions making the situation worse.  Fenna is just a curious, energetic dog who needs an outlet for that and some basic training in acceptable behavior I expect.  

 

Some of you may know from the Small Talk thread that I grew up in a cat family and inherited my very first dog from a loved one about two years ago (he will have been with me two years next week). 
 

Cosmo is 10, but he’s a big dog (80lbs) and he is WORK. I walk him 2-3x a day for about a mile (that’s his sweet spot) fall-spring (he hates the heat so in the summer it’s only one bigger walk). I can only imagine how active he would be if I just let him out side to use the restroom without proper walks. 
 

I understand that Jill & Derrick have three small kids and may not be interested in giving a dog (or any pet) the type of attention a childfree single person like myself does (and I’m not mad at them for that), but Fenna does need to be walked AND probably played with until she’s tired with Izzy and Sam. She’s a young large dog.
Also I notice the days I am in the office or gone all day (I work hybrid) when I get home Cosmo has NO CHILL, and he does get walked by the same loving human any afternoon I’m not home. 
 

Dogs take a lot of attention, or they are liable to misbehave which makes them harder to live with. 

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Mexican macaroni sounds like an interesting American type meal.

That blonde really needs to go.  That hair cut between chin and shoulder length would look so much better.  If she kept highlighting it every three months or so and trimming it then, it would be so much more becoming.  

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29 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

So, Jill’s making a crockpot meal, Mexican macaroni, and bringing it to Derrick’s work for them to eat supper together.

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So Derick is putting in long hours. That has to be a hell of an adjustment from the past at least six years. 

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On 1/4/2023 at 6:23 PM, libgirl2 said:

I don't know about dogs but if we tried to do that to my cat, blood would be shed. 

I’ve found that dogs are much easier to deal with than cats when it comes to things like that.  I can give dogs a pills in the blink of an eye.  Cats?  After 15 minutes I’ve finally gotten the pill down, but I’ve waste 3 pills and I have blood dripping from 6 open wounds. 🤕

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Dog: wrap pill in a bit of American cheese and casually drop it on the floor.   Cat:  first must catch while out in the open.  For mine I must be wearing a floor length skirted outfit.  Kneel on the floor and back cat into the skirt so it's surrounded by skirt and my knees.  Quickly nab cat on the side of the mouth and pop it open while tipping its head back and dropping in pill.  Hold at until it swallows.  You must be very quick.  I truly prefer fish flavored liquid for cats.  Just drip it on a paw let them lick it off.  

I hope Jill and Derick never have an animal that needs a lot of care if they think chasing the poor dog around just to get a saliva sample is the way to go.

I wonder how Jill is coping if she's back to taking dinners to be with Derick.  Perhaps it's better for the kids to get to see him a little than for them to be already in bed if he's working late a lot.  

Edited by Absolom
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4 hours ago, SMama said:

So Derick is putting in long hours. That has to be a hell of an adjustment from the past at least six years. 

I’d love to see D Wreck pontificate about lotion time 3-4 nights a week now that he actually has to work. 

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9 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Fenna does need to be walked AND probably played with until she’s tired with Izzy and Sam.

Since we've speculated that Izzy and Sam don't attend regular school and are home all day, I'm thinking Fenna probably gets more playtime with them than she would in a family whose kids are not around all day.  She seems healthy and well cared for.

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7 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Since we've speculated that Izzy and Sam don't attend regular school and are home all day, I'm thinking Fenna probably gets more playtime with them than she would in a family whose kids are not around all day.  She seems healthy and well cared for.

And they don't seem afraid of her. 

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36 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Photo shows Izzy "learninh" by drawing on windows with erasable ink. That's the most direct evidence that he's now being homeschooled.

The evidence is actually in the comments. Ten people asked if he's being homeschooled. While responding to other comments, she conveniently skipped all of those.

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2 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Poor Izzy, why did they even bother starting him in public school? He really seemed to like it. 

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

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Jill really struggles to make cohesive sentences in her Instagram posts. Lots of um and like. Does that make her more relatable to her followers? IDK, I just feel bad for Izzy and Sam, it seemed like public school was the plan for the Dillards. Now it seems they’re homeschooling with a mom who won’t answer questions about it. It’s not our business, but she puts out content that teases her followers with “oh isn’t writing on windows cute” and looks for engagement by asking for other fun suggestions. 

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5 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

Yes. She grew up with that lazy mindset. Also, she probably likes having company while Derek's away. She doesn't seem to have much initiative to find things to do on her own.

I hope Derek puts a stop to homeschooling before too long so the kids will get a decent education. He knows by now that Jill didn't learn much at the Duggar Academy. 

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4 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

Could be a number of things, and not all of them necessarily negative. I don't follow all their circumstances as closely as some here, so I may be off track, but wasn't there talk of the area they were in not having great school systems? Maybe the house they are in now is something they hope to upgrade from in another couple of years, and thought that the homeschooling in the interim would be less disruptive? I don't know that that would be true, for the record...We were a military family, and moved around every couple of years as a matter of course. When our kids were just a year or so older than theirs, we were stationed in Guam, whose public school system (at the time, anyway) was abysmal, but private school would have been a huge stretch for us, so we chose to send them to the public schools anyway, as they were young enough and bright enough that we figured any holes in their education could easily be made up for by simply paying attention to what they were being taught, and supplementing. Also, knowing myself, I just didn't think I had the necessarily discipline to home-school effectively for the longer term. They are all fully functioning adults now, all having gotten into their first choice of colleges, and all homeowners with good jobs and rich social lives, so I guess it worked out. 

I hope that jill and Derick do eventually choose to put their kids back in school, and that they are also still both young and bright enough that the disruption will not have a long term effect. 

Of course, if the SOTDRT is it for the long haul, I'm less optimistic.

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Izzy seemed so happy to be going to school.  I wonder if Sam was looking forward to going as well.  I think between Freddy being born and Derrick going to work, Jill didn't want to have to deal with a public school schedule.  

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46 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Could be a number of things, and not all of them necessarily negative. I don't follow all their circumstances as closely as some here, so I may be off track, but wasn't there talk of the area they were in not having great school systems? Maybe the house they are in now is something they hope to upgrade from in another couple of years, and thought that the homeschooling in the interim would be less disruptive? I don't know that that would be true, for the record...We were a military family, and moved around every couple of years as a matter of course. When our kids were just a year or so older than theirs, we were stationed in Guam, whose public school system (at the time, anyway) was abysmal, but private school would have been a huge stretch for us, so we chose to send them to the public schools anyway, as they were young enough and bright enough that we figured any holes in their education could easily be made up for by simply paying attention to what they were being taught, and supplementing. Also, knowing myself, I just didn't think I had the necessarily discipline to home-school effectively for the longer term. They are all fully functioning adults now, all having gotten into their first choice of colleges, and all homeowners with good jobs and rich social lives, so I guess it worked out. 

I hope that jill and Derick do eventually choose to put their kids back in school, and that they are also still both young and bright enough that the disruption will not have a long term effect. 

Of course, if the SOTDRT is it for the long haul, I'm less optimistic.

The main deal for Jill is probably that the boys would be attending two different schools. That plus the baby was probably too much for her. The boys will always be in different schools up to middle school, as I under the structure, so let's see what they do next year when Freddy is older.

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It isn’t known that Israel isn’t going to school. Sam was born in July, they may have decided to start him this upcoming school year.

I realize she could just answer the damn questions, but she doesn’t have to.

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3 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I think it's because Izzy going to school is work ... for Jill. She has to wake up early to drop him off at school, she has to help him with homework, school projects and the like.

It's easier just to keep him at home drawing on windows.

i agree.  Also Jill has seemed to have problems dealing with an infant alone in the past so she wanted the other kids as company as Derick is working now.  She's following her parents' example where the parents are most important no matter what might be better for the children.

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6 minutes ago, jacourt said:

Nice to see a kid that can write in script. 

Fundies are down right anal about cursive writing. Alyssa’s girls started at a very early age. IIRC the Duggars made and probably still have their kids write long bible verses as part of their curriculum. They have posted their work. Pity they don’t have that same determination with science and math. 

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I don't think the prosecutor's office would like it very much that Derrick's wife is having dinner with him at the office. There is a lot of sensitive material in the office that Jill is not privy to. When my husband started out in the DA's office, I SELDOM was there. Only once or twice, after hours, and only for a minute or two due to an important personal reason. Derrick should be handling small 3rd degree misdemeanors right now and should not be taking so much of his time at night. Jill needs to put on her grown up undies and handle matters at home herself. There is no need for her to "find things to do" since she has a full household, a husband and 3 children to care for. She just isn't organized IMO. If the boys would attend school, she would have a better opportunity to run errands and get her housework done while they are gone. It worked for me. I wish the best for Izzy and Sam. 

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2 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't think the prosecutor's office would like it very much that Derrick's wife is having dinner with him at the office. There is a lot of sensitive material in the office that Jill is not privy to. When my husband started out in the DA's office, I SELDOM was there. Only once or twice, after hours, and only for a minute or two due to an important personal reason. Derrick should be handling small 3rd degree misdemeanors right now and should not be taking so much of his time at night. Jill needs to put on her grown up undies and handle matters at home herself. There is no need for her to "find things to do" since she has a full household, a husband and 3 children to care for. She just isn't organized IMO. If the boys would attend school, she would have a better opportunity to run errands and get her housework done while they are gone. It worked for me. I wish the best for Izzy and Sam. 

I think Jill needs to "grow up" too, but, do you think the DA office has a break room or some place where staff eats anyway?  Without sensitive information? The first Mr lookeyloo was a doctor in training and in some situations I would take the kids to where he was for a meal, mostly because they didn't see him otherwise. He wanted us to do this.  Before he got involved with the nurse and left us.   We were never where there were patients or records or anything.

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I would think Derick uses his office to meet with clients so he has a place to put private files.

I just can't imagine packing up the boys at that hour to drive a half hour, eat and then drive a half hour back. And wouldn't that keep Derick at the office even longer?

Have him get take out and eat together by Zoom.

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12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I would think Derick uses his office to meet with clients so he has a place to put private files.

I just can't imagine packing up the boys at that hour to drive a half hour, eat and then drive a half hour back. And wouldn't that keep Derick at the office even longer?

Have him get take out and eat together by Zoom.

This is one of the many ways where Jill's clinginess is so annoying. Like you said, it's a lot of trouble to haul kids and dinner to get at the most half an hour of face time with Derick. Yet she won't put any effort to get Izzy and Sam to school.  The fact is that she can get organized enough when she wants to and it's vile that her children's education is not enough incentive to get her act together.

She could red shirt Sam this year and homeschool him. She won't be totally alone with Freddy, and it will help her ease into dealing with two different schools next school year.  But no, it's all or nothing for her. Jill went from being part of a herd to creating her own micro herd. Neither arrangement is healthy. I'm sure that there are many other parents who are in her same situation. They idon'thave the luxury of keeping their kids at home due to learned helplessness. 

I would not be surprised if parents with two kids carpool. One parent takes their kid and others to one school and vice versa. Derick should take his role as headship seriously and stop indulging Jill's neediness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Derick very well may have his own little office OR he may have to share depending on office space. As the "new guy" he would have the smallest office as the other attorneys "move up" in office accommodations as new hires begin work. This was my former husband's experience. Getting the "corner office" with the nice windows was truly a perk and "showed your status"..usually an upper experienced felony attorney (capital case person) gets that office.

Yes, they have break rooms; which serve as a place to eat their lunch.

I can't imagine hauling a crock pot/plates/utensils/napkins/beverages through the DA's office to have dinner with Derrick. This just seems to be a classless thing to do. 

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