Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[GeeGolly]

20 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Here's my take on Duggarling inconsistencies and hypocrisies, especially when it comes to the hot-button issue -- sexuality, in all its facets.

Their minds have been warped and utterly blinded by the life they've led and by the near-insane parents who've raised them and the further training-in-lies they've received from being in the Gothard cult and then living out nearly their whole lives on UNreality television. They don't know what they're doing. They're acting out all kinds of shit related to the stuff that they've been forced to repress their whole lives and all the many many many many many many many lies they've been directed and forced to swallow and to tell, and when you're doing that logic and consistency have no sway at all! 

They've spent their whole lives in an unnatural horror-shit-show that's completely dominated by lies lies lies lies lies. And despite having lived in a hideous environment with parents who don't have a single clue how to love or care for their kids, they've been brainwashed into swallowing the idea that it was, in fact, the ideal environment and that they're more rational, healthy, educated and prepared for a great adulthood than anyone else in the world. In fact, all they are are a pile of people who are completely programmed to embrace and believe a giant giant pile of their  own and their parents' lies. 

I was raised in some shit that was very similar in the bad ways (though quite different in detail and culture) and when I got out I did every damn thing backwards and upside down and contrary wise and totally contrary to what I claimed to be doing for YEARS.....

And I was like that despite probably having an IQ twice that of the Duggars, getting out on purpose, craving education and getting as much of it as I could, becoming a devotee of counseling and therapy and getting a bunch of it, reading everything I could find about how to heal and get past such a mess, going to 12-step groups, going far away from the family and living away from them while making many actual friends in the real world....and having been smart enough to see through the home-fires bullshit from the time I was a tiny child.....AND YET....although I always saw a lot of the truth and fought against it my whole life, I still emerged as a victim of the brainwashing and gaslighting who was nutso in the extreme, neurotic as hell and inconsistent as all get out and highly confused about everything in my life for many years.

And this was the result for somebody very very smart and very very strong. The Duggarlings, by contrast, all appear to me to be pretty weak and dull by nature. AND they're almost all still living right in the stew of falsity they grew up in AND their livelihood has depended on buying the bullshit their parents are selling. (about every topic under the sun, but especially about sexuality and how women should behave...)

Now obviously this is all the lens I'm looking through. But what I know from my real-life experience is that every time I've thought I was looking at a situation similar to the one I was raised in, it's eventually turned out that, yes, it was. And I know firsthand what a mess such a situation can make of your mind and your behavior. How stuff you'd repressed and didn't even know about can come out in your behavior in ways that seem normal to you at the time and then horrify you later when you've moved forward and can see more clearly.... 

The difference between me and most of the Duggars, though, is that they'll most likely never figure things out. They'll go right on taking photos of their pregnant selves in skintight garments and duck lips while firmly and sincerely believing that they're the most modest dressers on the planet. .... And they'll do this not because they're bad people and conscious hypocrites but because the life of lies they've lived since birth has made them into giant unconscious liars themselves -- especially about anything related to sexuality. And because they're not bright or unhappy or brave enough to realize what messes they are and go away and find help for their condition. 

I just don't believe they can be judged by normal standards, unfortunately. 

That statement is truer than true.

I'm guessing though that even the Duggars have a concrete understanding of the word opposite. They've been calling out Nike since the could talk. Their parents and belief system have pounded into their heads that that when not covered "properly" the female body is ogled with sexual desires. I believe Jessa knows when she's not dressing modest. Whether she uses pregnancy as her Get Out Of Hell card or not, I think she is very aware.

[lascuba]

My take on "immodest" maternity clothes has always been that they don't see pregnant bodies as sexual, so as long as they don't show cleavage or thighs, they're modest by default. That coupled with just being cheap, and we get them squeezing into and stretching out too small tops. I don't it's anything more complicated than that. 

[Churchhoney]

19 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

That statement is truer than true.

I'm guessing though that even the Duggars have a concrete understanding of the word opposite. They've been calling out Nike since the could talk. Their parents and belief system have pounded into their heads that that when not covered "properly" the female body is ogled with sexual desires. I believe Jessa knows when she's not dressing modest. Whether she uses pregnancy as her Get Out Of Hell card or not, I think she is very aware.

For me, the question is how far into her brain she allows the thought to enter. "These are tight, revealing clothes." Yeah, I'm sure she gets that. Just like she gets that she has two legs and the sky is sometimes blue. And I expect that, as you imply, she does get a little wicked thrill out of it! Although she may suppress that high so quickly she's not fully aware of it .... A high is a high, though! 

But what I consider doubtful is that the mindset she's carried out of her childhood enables her to take the next step -- which you do when you're not just aware of something but have enough sense of context and possible contradictions and questioning of things to want to figure out why you're doing something, what the ethics of it are, whether it fits in with the bigger picture you have of life, whether it's consistent with the things you say you believe. 

To ask, for example -- "Could wearing tight clothes when I'm a married pregnant woman birthing babies for Jesus be just as dangerously immodest as wearing them when I'm not a married pregnant woman?" "Could it be hypocritical to condone wearing tight revealing clothes sometimes but not other times?" "Is posting photos of myself in this tight outfit appropriate since I'm always telling women that God requires them to dress modestly?" "Why do I feel that I can and should wear tight clothes now when during the rest of my life I only feel right wearing three or four tents, one on top of the other?" 

Obviously those are the questions people ask about her tight-shirt photos. But my guess is that she doesn't ask those questions. Because her whole upbringing militates against asking any questions. Especially when things are going your way. And especially when they're related to sexuality.

And if she doesn't ask the questions, what kind of awareness does she really have? And since she never talks to anybody but Duggars or Duggar sycophants, she'll never even run into anyone who asks her to connect more of the dots. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

47 minutes ago, lascuba said:

My take on "immodest" maternity clothes has always been that they don't see pregnant bodies as sexual, so as long as they don't show cleavage or thighs, they're modest by default. That coupled with just being cheap, and we get them squeezing into and stretching out too small tops. I don't it's anything more complicated than that. 

This is about the way I read it as well...The modesty goes out of the window because, a) they are entitled to flaunt the fact that they are gestating the next soldier in the army for Christ, b) they don't actually NEED to keep a careful eye on staying slim because it's not gonna happen anyway, so c) they are not going to be attractive at any time in the immediate future, therefore d) they don't need to worry about those pesky eye-traps...plus, possibly, they just don't bother with a lot of maternity clothes in any case, but just wear what they can stretch over themselves. They probably don't even really think their own husbands are going to be attracted to them, but still have to stay joyfully available even when they are "big pregnant" because whether or not their headships actually find them attractive, they still need those sandwiches, and you don't want them to end up down at the local diner, so to speak. I imagine that sex during pregnancy is seen as far more of another chore that must be done than anything else since it's not for procreation and can't be a lot of fun because they see themselves as unattractive.

[sleepysuzy]

When I was pregnant,  I was more apt to wear tight tops because otherwise I just looked fat. A bump-hugging shirt made the distinction for me.

The Duggar girls look like most pregnant women their age to me. Even their long hair is pretty typical, since many young women I know let their hair grow during pregnancy because hormones and prenatal vitamins make the hair thicker and grow faster.

[yogi2014L]

47 minutes ago, sleepysuzy said:

When I was pregnant,  I was more apt to wear tight tops because otherwise I just looked fat. A bump-hugging shirt made the distinction for me.

The Duggar girls look like most pregnant women their age to me. Even their long hair is pretty typical, since many young women I know let their hair grow during pregnancy because hormones and prenatal vitamins make the hair thicker and grow faster.

I wore fitted maternity clothes the whole time ( and yoga pants- well I am a yoga teacher lol) I wore a fitted maternity mini dress to my shower! I thought i looked great. Anything flowy made me look morbidly obese and I would feel terrible about myself . So skin tight it was. It was more flattering.

The duggar girls look horrible not because they are pregnant or wearing skin tight clothes, it is because they dress terribly. Nothing fits properly, you can tell when someone who is pregnant is just wearing regular clothes. As a result they look sloppy and unkempt. Jessa's shirt looks horrible because it probably isn't a maternity shirt and is too small. They also have zero fashion sense.

It boggles my mind that they don't at least get decent secondhand maternity clothes. People will just give it away once they are done with it- you can find really nice stuff too at Goodwill or Facebook marketplace. Considering they will spend a ton of time pregnant they should make the investment. They are just lazy and it shows.

[Jynnan tonnix]

14 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

I wore fitted maternity clothes the whole time ( and yoga pants- well I am a yoga teacher lol) I wore a fitted maternity mini dress to my shower! I thought i looked great. Anything flowy made me look morbidly obese and I would feel terrible about myself . So skin tight it was. It was more flattering.

The duggar girls look horrible not because they are pregnant or wearing skin tight clothes, it is because they dress terribly. Nothing fits properly, you can tell when someone who is pregnant is just wearing regular clothes. As a result they look sloppy and unkempt. Jessa's shirt looks horrible because it probably isn't a maternity shirt and is too small. They also have zero fashion sense.

It boggles my mind that they don't at least get decent secondhand maternity clothes. People will just give it away once they are done with it- you can find really nice stuff too at Goodwill or Facebook marketplace. Considering they will spend a ton of time pregnant they should make the investment. They are just lazy and it shows.

I believe that people should wear what makes them feel the most comfortable and confident. I can well imagine that, as a Yoga instructor, you have a lovely, lithe and strong figure, and that being able to highlight the strengths in it would make you feel much better than dressing in a tent. I also doubt very much that even if you DID dress in loose and flowy maternity clothing you would look anything near morbidly obese, garden-variety obese, or even particularly overweight, just that the extra visual bulk would make you feel as though you did and thus you might tend to feel a little self-conscious, as though someone might judge you.

I do think you make good points about their clothing just not fitting particularly well in general, and that very likely there's a bit of congenital Duggar laziness involved in it, but I still don't think they look "horrible" to the extent that if they were just random people on the street the sight of them would make me stop in anything like a mind-boggled way at the state of their wardrobe. Lots of people don't have a great sense of fashion, or particularly care about it, but in general that doesn't necessarily say anything about their worth otherwise.

I do realize we are talking about the Duggars, and there is a lot of judgement aimed toward them for a whole lot of things which we DO know about them, and for which they probably deserve some judgement. Maybe it's just me, but there's just still something which makes me a bit uncomfortable in stating unambiguously that they simply look horrible. They just don't look as though fashion means that much to them is all. Well within parameters of normality, though.

[queenanne]

On 1/20/2019 at 1:30 AM, Puffin said:

NIKE! 

Seriously how is that considered modest? We can see everything!

jill looks fine to me though her top was clearly not skin tight unlike Jessa. 

Yeah, I draw the line at tops so tight you can tell if the wearer has an innie or an outie... especially since if Jessa forgets to look in a mirror, she has another grown adult she can use for a modesty check.  Just because I understand and stipulate that every human being passing me on the street possesses a pubic bone, for example, does not mean I want to be forced to contemplate everyone’s by a visual aid...

[Minivanessa]

6 hours ago, queenanne said:

Just because I understand and stipulate that every human being passing me on the street possesses a pubic bone, for example, does not mean I want to be forced to contemplate everyone’s by a visual aid...

^^THANK YOU for that. 

[galaxychaser]

https://people.com/tv/jessa-duggar-seewald-shares-sonogram-photo-third-baby/

[McManda]

I know that people are excited about their new baby but ...

... all sonograms look the same. And by baby #3 it's likely that no one except your family really cares. But thanks for sharing, Jessa.

[Talky Tina]

On 1/20/2019 at 5:56 PM, farmgal4 said:

Ben looks 🔥 in that pic!

I don't understand what this means. Is he fiery? Or does that mean he's hot?  

Please excuse an old lady who knows nothing about these things. 

[galaxychaser]

1 hour ago, Talky Tina said:

I don't understand what this means. Is he fiery? Or does that mean he's hot?  

Please excuse an old lady who knows nothing about these things. 

Hot as in datable?

[sleepysuzy]

2 hours ago, Talky Tina said:

I don't understand what this means. Is he fiery? Or does that mean he's hot?  

Please excuse an old lady who knows nothing about these things. 

The new slang word is "fire", so maybe it means, "Ben looks fire in that pic." My high schoolers says things they like are "fire" frequently.

[yogi2014L]

2 hours ago, McManda said:

I know that people are excited about their new baby but ...

... all sonograms look the same. And by baby #3 it's likely that no one except your family really cares. But thanks for sharing, Jessa.

3rd kid? Not even her family cares. LOL. Especially true for her family where this is like the 156th grandchild.

My family 'only' has 5 kids under 5 between my adult siblings an I. First 2 grandkids got the savings bonds, gifts, presents. Everyone rushed to the hospital to see them. 

Fast forward 2 years. I frequently forget about my 3rd niece completely. My nephew isn't having a 1st birthday party. Only one member of my immediate family brought my (first) child a gift at the hospital, and my sister in law didn't even see her until she was 10 weeks old. Novelty wears off real fast, lol.

[awaken]

3 hours ago, McManda said:

I know that people are excited about their new baby but ...

... all sonograms look the same. And by baby #3 it's likely that no one except your family really cares. But thanks for sharing, Jessa.

Gotta work hard to stay relevant when that's all you got in life, I guess.  

[Catfin]

57 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

3rd kid? Not even her family cares. LOL. Especially true for her family where this is like the 156th grandchild.

My family 'only' has 5 kids under 5 between my adult siblings an I. First 2 grandkids got the savings bonds, gifts, presents. Everyone rushed to the hospital to see them. 

Fast forward 2 years. I frequently forget about my 3rd niece completely. My nephew isn't having a 1st birthday party. Only one member of my immediate family brought my (first) child a gift at the hospital, and my sister in law didn't even see her until she was 10 weeks old. Novelty wears off real fast, lol.

My kids are the #19 & #20 grandchildren on my side, and #7 & #8 on husband’s side. I am familiar with the phenomenon. ❤️

[riverblue22]

Looks like a boy to me!  Hopefully Bin will get that football team he wants!

[awaken]

1 hour ago, riverblue22 said:

Looks like a boy to me!  Hopefully Bin will get that football team he wants!

As long as he doesn’t drag out the tired “zone defense “ quip again!  

[MamaMax]

On 1/10/2019 at 12:47 PM, doodlebug said:

You would think that, if adding on to the house was possible, they'd have at the very least, started doing it a long time ago.  Even without the new baby, the boys are growing up and co-sleeping in the same room is not all that practical once the kids are preschoolers.  They also start to need room to play and for toys.  Then again, Jessa is a Duggar and she lived with a passel of brothers and sisters in a tiny little house until TLC built the TTC for them.

Eh, people have been raising kids in apartments smaller than the mold house in NYC forever.  The mold house has 2 bedrooms, no? Boys in one, Jessa, ben and baby bassinet in the other. If they have another boy, they can just get bunkbeds and a single for the other room.  I don't think they "need" a bigger house, especially when they live in a mild climate and can play outside pretty much year round. Kids don't "need" a room full of toys either. My kids had ooodles of toys and in retrospect, a lot of it was wasted money.

On 1/15/2019 at 7:44 PM, CatS said:

It's totally worth doing order pickup for a big grocery order if you have young kids. I pay $4.95 (no tip needed) at Kroger and my kids sleep in the backseat while they load it. I also save money, because I use their digital coupons and can compare prices from the comfort of my bed the night before and take as long as I need. Kroger at least also has special coupons for pickup orders only. I can usually cover the cost of pickup with coupons I wouldn't be able to use in store. 

You save money by totally sticking to the list, too. No crazy "OOOOOH, look at that cake!" add ons lol

On 1/17/2019 at 8:29 PM, Lunera said:

They desperately need a sex ed class so they can stop being surprised when they end up pregnant.

Also, It makes me cringe every time they misuse 'whenever'. 

Again, I don't like these people, but I was ALSO surprised both times I got pregnant, even though we were trying. Like, pleased. Like, OMG, it worked! 

 

and the "whenever" usage I believe is regional. Irritating, though. 

[farmgal4]

On 2/1/2019 at 4:55 PM, Talky Tina said:

I don't understand what this means. Is he fiery? Or does that mean he's hot?  

Please excuse an old lady who knows nothing about these things. 

He looks hot (really good). 😄

[ginger90]

[ginger90]

jessaseewald

How is it that this darling baby boy turned 2 today? I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by. Henry is a sweet ray of sunshine in every day, with his joyful laughter and loving cuddles.
.
He loves his big brother so much, and the two are constantly playing together, laughing, wrestling, climbing on things, and digging in the dirt. Henry also enjoys wooden knob puzzles, and learning to ride his tricycle!
.
Henry is all about his snacks, especially unsalted almonds and raisins, peas and apples— and he also enjoys when he gets to walk around with a pocket full of pretzels. 😊
.
Henry LOVES to read books, so I included a little video of him reading one of his favorites: Little Blue Truck! He received a sequel to this book as a birthday gift (Little Blue Truck Leads the Way), and we’ve already read it 5x!
.
We are so grateful to God for giving us this little guy. 💙💙 We pray often that our boys will come to know Christ at a young age, and we desire with all our hearts that they will live lives that glorify God and point others to Him.
.

[Minivanessa]

I was watching a show on TLC last night and they ran the promo for the new season of Counting On. Featuring Jessa in a TH.

She is SO happy to be in front of the camera again, in her God-appointed role as Reality Television Stah, and it is SO obvious that she knows how right it is that she's there and one of God's special people. 

[allonsyalice]

I mean, but really, who doesn’t enjoy when they get to walk around with a pocket full of pretzels!?!

[questionfear]

9 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

I mean, but really, who doesn’t enjoy when they get to walk around with a pocket full of pretzels!?!

Not only that, but when she was going on about the boys embracing god or whatever, all I could think was "Well, if God could guarantee him a pocketful of pretzels forever he'd care more". Seriously, their kids are still at the age where electricity is a fucking miracle. God is a bit heavy for them!

[mynextmistake]

On 2/1/2019 at 1:24 PM, McManda said:

I know that people are excited about their new baby but ...

... all sonograms look the same. And by baby #3 it's likely that no one except your family really cares. But thanks for sharing, Jessa.

It’s not a great view, so I could be wrong, but I think it’s a girl. Looks like she might have the three lines sign.

[ginger90]

[BigBingerBro]

Shouldn't it be "Happy 2nd Birthday"?   Or is "2 Birthday" a thing?

[Albanyguy]

7 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

t’s not a great view, so I could be wrong, but I think it’s a girl. Looks like she might have the three lines sign.

What's the "three lines sign"?

[McManda]

4 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

What's the "three lines sign"?

It's what the ultrasound techs/radiologists look for in determining gender on ultrasounds. The three lines become the baby's genitalia, though I thought you needed a bottom shot to tell. (I didn't go back to look, wasn't Jessa's ultrasound a profile of the baby's face?)

[zoomama]

2 hours ago, McManda said:

It's what the ultrasound techs/radiologists look for in determining gender on ultrasounds. The three lines become the baby's genitalia, though I thought you needed a bottom shot to tell. (I didn't go back to look, wasn't Jessa's ultrasound a profile of the baby's face?)

yes, you would need a view from the bottom to tell gender clearly.   when my DIL was doing invitro, the slang was to look for a hamburger (girl) or a turtle (boy). thats how the genitals  looks on the u/s. kinda silly but when you so desperately want a baby, you have to find the fun in the process.

[mynextmistake]

3 hours ago, McManda said:

It's what the ultrasound techs/radiologists look for in determining gender on ultrasounds. The three lines become the baby's genitalia, though I thought you needed a bottom shot to tell. (I didn't go back to look, wasn't Jessa's ultrasound a profile of the baby's face?)

You do need a shot of the lower half of the body. The first shot Jessa posted was a profile of the whole fetus, but the angle on the part below the abdomen isn’t very good. That’s why I said I could be wrong. I’m sure we’ll find out eventually, given this gang’s love of gender reveal parties.

[Sew Sumi]

Jessa has kept the sex of her boys a secret except to one of two sisters. She's all about building the suspense amongst her followers.

Edited February 11, 2019 by Sew Sumi

[louannems]

7 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jessa has kept the sex of her boys a secret except to one of two sisters. She's all about building the suspense amongst her followers.

"It might be twins"!!!

[floridamom]

I don't think anyone much cares about the 'gender' of Seewald Baby #3. It gets old after a bit. Jessa is old news, really.

[galaxychaser]

In that family Jim and Michelle barely care about grand baby # 1 for each couple. 

By #3 they don’t care at all.

[DangerousMinds]

9 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't think anyone much cares about the 'gender' of Seewald Baby #3. It gets old after a bit. Jessa is old news, really.

She really is! Next!

[heckkitty]

9 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't think anyone much cares about the 'gender' of Seewald Baby #3. It gets old after a bit. Jessa is old news, really.

completely agree.  "Gender" reveals get me completely riled up.  Gender is a social construct, and fetuses have had no exposure to society of any kind so how TH can you claim to know their gender.

[DangerousMinds]

Just now, heckkitty said:

completely agree.  "Gender" reveals get me completely riled up.  Gender is a social construct, and fetuses have had no exposure to society of any kind so how TH can you claim to know their gender.

THANK YOU!!!

[Christina87]

9 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

In that family Jim and Michelle barely care about grand baby # 1 for each couple. 

By #3 they don’t care at all.

They'll only start caring again when the couple hits 10. 

[Temperance]

JB and Michelle don't care if it's #1 or #3 or #12 for the parents. They care that's it's grandchild #13 for themselves. 

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, Temperance said:

JB and Michelle don't care if it's #1 or #3 or #12 for the parents. They care that's it's grandchild #13 for themselves. 

So maybe they'll have a big celebration for every 5th grandbaby, like we do for anniversaries. For the 10th grandbaby, grandpops and grandmama get TIN! ....  (Well, they would have. That milestone's way in the rearview mirror already.)

I can actually see the idiot TeeVee family doing that -- if any of them were capable of such complicated counting. 

They have to have some "big events" to put on their show. 

Edited February 12, 2019 by Churchhoney

[xwordfanatik]

12 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

So maybe they'll have a big celebration for every 5th grandbaby, like we do for anniversaries. For the 10th grandbaby, grandpops and grandmama get TIN! ....  (Well, they would have. That milestone's way in the rearview mirror already.)

I can actually see the idiot TeeVee family doing that -- if any of them were capable of such complicated counting. 

They have to have some "big events" to put on their show. 

What is TIN?

[Churchhoney]

7 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

What is TIN?

Oh, I just meant that traditional list of anniversary gifts....You know, where the first anniversary you get paper and the 50th is supposed to be gold.....

The 10th is tin or, I guess in more recent times, also aluminum. Cans in either case, though! 

Edited February 13, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Zella]

48 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

The 10th is tin or, I guess in more recent times, also aluminum. Cans in either case, though! 

That's perfect. They can give each other canned soup. . . . 😂

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, Zella said:

That's perfect. They can give each other canned soup. . . . 😂

Good point. Canned cream soup, of course. Then they can make a casserole.... as long as they can rustle up the hot dogs, tater tots and cheez whiz. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 2/9/2019 at 7:33 AM, allonsyalice said:

I mean, but really, who doesn’t enjoy when they get to walk around with a pocket full of pretzels!?!

Finally, a Duggar who we can all relate to.  Happy birthday, Henry! 

[Gemma Violet]

On 2/11/2019 at 4:44 AM, floridamom said:

I don't think anyone much cares about the 'gender' of Seewald Baby #3. It gets old after a bit. Jessa is old news, really.

Oh, but I still hope she has all boys.  We don't need another generation of older sisters and their "buddy" teams.

[andromeda331]

On ‎2‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 9:28 AM, Gemma Violet said:

Oh, but I still hope she has all boys.  We don't need another generation of older sisters and their "buddy" teams.

So do I.