Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[CrazyInAlabama]

5 minutes ago, Maverick said:

 There's a commercial with some dude doing sub-karaoke level signing along to Opportunities by the Pet Shop Boys.   As if it wasn't bad enough he's slaughtering a classic song, he's duetting with his creepy as fuck hood ornament.   

That's for Allstate.   And very creepy

[dleighg]

33 minutes ago, Maverick said:

There's a commercial with some dude doing sub-karaoke level signing along to Opportunities by the Pet Shop Boys.   As if it wasn't bad enough he's slaughtering a classic song, he's duetting with his creepy as fuck hood ornament

aw, I kinda like that ad. Mostly I like the tune. The hood ornament is creepy, but she's growing on me...

[Leeds]

1 hour ago, mmecorday said:

Then there was this true life situation in which two women are chatting about their freshness in an office setting and one of them conveniently has a douche sitting right there on her desk. Like you do.

 

Thank you so much for introducing me to a new hell.

This is truly horrifying.  "Douches are such a bother"?  So why are you shilling them?  And how did they ever think their hair looked good?  And why is mixing two ingredients together so difficult that they have to buy it.  Oh, wait, Starbucks.

[Ubiquit0us]

4 hours ago, Ubiquit0us said:

Not only am I sick of the D+ commercials,  I hate that all the shows I watch under their umbrella were migrated to D+, leaving little to nothing I want to watch. 🤬

Speak of the Devil! There's a commercial for a D+ special about the huge killer wasps which includes a scene with a beekeeper at a dead hive, a single tear rolling down his face and a fist clenched in anger. Oh, puhlease! 🙄

[mmecorday]

Quote

I might or might not have had a little too big a bite of an edible, but I swear I saw a commercial last weekend for an 'injectible' birth control for women that appeared to be a lotion or gel like substance that comes in what appears to be a plastic injector that looked something like a hypodermic neede. My wife and I were aghast, because it was like "ladies, if you don't want to deal with birth control pills, IUDs, etc, have we got a solution for you!" My wife was like "How big is that thing" and I said "The size o your arm, and it's like piping pastry dough through a injector needle, so you need two people to do it." We both laughed like hell at it, but good grief, ladies, this is why you should just keep rubbers around if you're single and want to get your freak on.  

That's an ad for Phexxi. I don't understand why the one woman is making salad when the narrator (whose voice is annoying AF) says that she doesn't like salad.

[Leeds]

10 minutes ago, mmecorday said:

That's an ad for Phexxi. I don't understand why the one woman is making salad when the narrator (whose voice is annoying AF) says that she doesn't like salad.

Not to mention that, as stated in the ad, Phexxi is only 86% effective, yet somehow "puts you in control of your sex life".  Great, 86 times out of a hundred you're in control, but 14 times you're not?  How do you know which encounter is which?

And then we have the "common" side effects, including "vaginal burning, itching, infection, UTIs, bacterial vaginosis, discharge, discomfort."

Makes me want to run right out there and get it, COVID and complete lack of sex life be damned.

[ctlady]

1 hour ago, Leeds said:

And how did they ever think their hair looked good?

Well, feathered flips were the rage back then.

 

1 hour ago, Ubiquit0us said:

Not only am I sick of the D+ commercials,  I hate that all the shows I watch under their umbrella were migrated to D+, leaving little to nothing I want to watch

Not sure if you're talking about Disney or Discovery + but either way - both are annoying.  Why do current shows on Discovery INSIST on keeping the Discovery+ promo symbol up in the corner of the screen for the entire show ?  And sometimes the flash a huge banner across the bottom.  Enough!

[Uncle JUICE]

25 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Not to mention that, as stated in the ad, Phexxi is only 86% effective, yet somehow "puts you in control of your sex life".  Great, 86 times out of a hundred you're in control, but 14 times you're not?  How do you know which encounter is which?

And then we have the "common" side effects, including "vaginal burning, itching, infection, UTIs, bacterial vaginosis, discharge, discomfort."

Makes me want to run right out there and get it, COVID and complete lack of sex life be damned.

THIS was what made me laugh hardest! It was a laundry list of stuff that stopped short of "infection of your taint, uncontrollable vomiting, hallucination and psychotic episodes.," and when it was over I said "Well, I'm horny as fuck now, I don't know about you dear...."

She was not. Sigh. 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Uncle JUICE

[Prevailing Wind]

1 hour ago, Leeds said:

Thank you so much for introducing me to a new hell.

This is truly horrifying.  "Douches are such a bother"?  So why are you shilling them?  And how did they ever think their hair looked good?  And why is mixing two ingredients together so difficult that they have to buy it.  Oh, wait, Starbucks.

I vaguely recall a Summer's Eve douche ad where two women are walking in a park, talking about how fresh/not fresh they feel. The conversation goes on for seemingly hours as they're shown in different locations throughout the day, still talking about feeling fresh. My BFF and I started doing that for a giggle. At random times, one of us would mention feeling fresh or not and asking the other for a solution. We had great fun surprising each other. She died in 2009; I miss her a lot.

3 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

THIS was what made me laugh hardest! It was a laundry list of stuff that stopped short of "infection of your taint, uncontrollable vomiting, hallucination and psychotic episodes.," and when it was over I said "Well, I'm horny as fuck now, I don't know about you dear...."

She was not. Sigh. 

Interesting that surprise pregnancy wasn't mentioned if it's only 86% effective.

[janie jones]

5 hours ago, Ubiquit0us said:

There's a new commercial for Alexa with a weaselly father who looks like Alan Harper pretending to drop his toast so he can sneakily ask it about when Pompey was wiped out and the name of the volcano that did it, which is bad enough, but why is Alexa whispering the answers?

I fucking hate the way the guy says "Vesuvius."

3 hours ago, Maverick said:

 There's a commercial with some dude doing sub-karaoke level signing along to Opportunities by the Pet Shop Boys.   As if it wasn't bad enough he's slaughtering a classic song, he's duetting with his creepy as fuck hood ornament.   

Yeah, the hood ornament is creepy. The commercial wouldn't bother me if it just had the guy singing alone.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

4 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

PS I thought the woman at my last job who'd cut her nails with a nail clipper at her desk was the fucking height of annoying. IMagine sitting next to the frigging McDouche sisters up there, like what's the face the guy on the other side of that cubicle is making??? Why the hell would you need to bring it to work? It's either "I don't have time to do this at home, I'll just sprtiz this liquid up my muff on my lunch break" OR "Betsy was really a little ripe yesterday, I'm just going to bring this in and make casual conversation."

A comedienne named Diane Ford had a bit in her act about tampon commercials and how women are always striking up conversations with other women on the subject. "I've worked with other women plenty of times. Never once have I ever turned to another woman and said, 'Golly gee whiz, Edna, I can barely keep up with you, what kind of tampon do you use?' I've tried a lot of brands, I'm pretty sure none of them make you move any faster."

[Bruinsfan]

Back when I worked in an office, if there were any conversations that intimate about personal hygiene they were conducted out of my earshot. We might share recipes or movie recommendations, but no one was busting out squeeze bottles and tubing for impromptu on-the-job demos.

[CrystalBlue]

11 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

My favorite thing about this commercial is he says (Paraphrasing) "Hey America, it's ya boy, Ice-T. If you know one thing about me, it's that I love my cars!" WHY WOULD THE COUNTRY KNOW THAT? If I know one thing about Ice-T, it's that he's an early 90s rapper, one of two with the moniker "ice something." If I know two things about Ice T, it's that he was on a show with some detectives, maybe it was CSI. Maybe it was NCIS. Maybe it was SVU, Maybe it was Postal Inspectors, but he was on one. If I know three things about Ice T, I think he was in New Jack City. Whyth fuck would I know what the hell he thinks of cars? 

Another one that irks the fuck out of me. "This isn't my first rodeo" is code for he's old now, which fine, but how does that make him an expert on reverse mortgages and the financial impacts thereof? "I'm MAgnum PI, and I think we can all agree, I know mortgages."

Ice-T (the other one is Ice Cube) was indeed a 90s rapper, probably most famous for his most famous song "Cop Killer" from the self-titled Body Count album.  When he started on Law & Order: SVU, I thought WTF but since then I've forgiven him and he's one of my favorite characters on that show.  His wife is Coco Austin, an actress.  Interesting to me that he does commercials.  Guy likes to work!

[CrystalBlue]

11 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Is there a more terrifying commercial than Focus Factor? I just saw it again and was so taken aback I immediately reported in. Clearly it's speed. THe woman taking it has literally made 300 chocolate chip cookies, when ostensibly the only people who live with her are her adult daughter and her husband. And they're EVERYWHERE. This is not a commercial kitchen. SHe's been up since 230AM. THen she won't let her daughter finish a god damn sentence, and probably got all the information to her questions by snooping in her phone. THEN she picks up the Focus Factor and TURNS INTO MARK TWAIN???? Why would anyone take this?

(PS I know it's supposed to be einstein but the distinction is not clear and why would that be better)?

 

I also hate the commercial where the woman in the bathroom talks about the panty liners (ugh, gross word, panty) that take care of her skin...DOWN THERE. "Are you still here?" Yes, because I'm a fucking prisoner here obviously!

Sounds like a manic episode.

I hate the word panty too!  I always call my knickers "underwear" and can barely say "bra and panties."

[Blergh]

The one I remember was the one in which a mother and teen daughter are tossing a frisbee on a beach when, seemingly out of the blue, the daughter asks, "Mom, do you douche?" without the slightest pausing, hesitation or discomfort in the very same tone one would expect a teen to ask a peer ,"What's your  favorite ice cream flavor?" 

Without missing a beat, the mother responds with the brand name in the same tone one would expect someone to answer a peer, "Vanilla's my favorite flavor."

Murphy Brown herself called this one out saying she had never tossed a frisbee on a beach with her own mother- much less had that convo (and neither Murphy nor her mother were the slightest bit coy or shrinking violets). 

Yeah, it's good that the teen felt comfortable talking about a useful product with her mother but how 'real' was that?

 

P.S. I've never seen a commercial for condoms with a teen asking his dad while throwing footballs 'Do you rubber?" in that same bland tone with his dad responding  with the brand.

  "There was one time I used another brand instead this one," Dad saying in postscript.

 "What happened, Dad?" teen boy asks.

"You did!" Dad says in reply. 

[CrystalBlue]

5 hours ago, dleighg said:

aw, I kinda like that ad. Mostly I like the tune. The hood ornament is creepy, but she's growing on me...

I ❤️ Pet Shop Boys so I don't mind getting to hear that tune.  "West End Girls" is my favorite PSB song.  Lotsa good music from them.

[CrystalBlue]

3 hours ago, mmecorday said:

That's an ad for Phexxi. I don't understand why the one woman is making salad when the narrator (whose voice is annoying AF) says that she doesn't like salad.

How did salad become involved in birth control contraceptive gel?  This sounds like a bad joke.  😛

3 hours ago, ctlady said:

Well, feathered flips were the rage back then.

 

Not sure if you're talking about Disney or Discovery + but either way - both are annoying.  Why do current shows on Discovery INSIST on keeping the Discovery+ promo symbol up in the corner of the screen for the entire show ?  And sometimes the flash a huge banner across the bottom.  Enough!

So was Summer's Eve.  The M had fierce competition.

[Annber03]

5 minutes ago, CrystalBlue said:

I ❤️ Pet Shop Boys so I don't mind getting to hear that tune.  "West End Girls" is my favorite PSB song.  Lotsa good music from them.

"What Have I Done to Deserve This?" is one of my favorites from them :).

I like that "Opportunities" song, too. It's weird hearing it in an ad, and I agree that the hood ornament aspect is a little freaky, but I do like the guy just driving and singing along.

[Bastet]

16 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Yeah, it's good that the teen felt comfortable talking about a useful product with her mother but how 'real' was that?

Douche is not a useful product.  In fact, it can be a harmful product.  The vagina is self cleaning, and needs its natural flora to maintain proper acidity; spraying douche into it messes with that, increasing the risk for infection and worse.  Wash the vulva (with warm water [and a mild soap if desired]), but leave the vagina alone.

[Ubiquit0us]

3 hours ago, Prevailing Wind said:

I vaguely recall a Summer's Eve douche ad where two women are walking in a park, talking about how fresh/not fresh they feel. The conversation goes on for seemingly hours as they're shown in different locations throughout the day, still talking about feeling fresh. My BFF and I started doing that for a giggle. At random times, one of us would mention feeling fresh or not and asking the other for a solution. We had great fun surprising each other. She died in 2009; I miss her a lot.

I always remember a fake douche commercial on Family Guy in which the daughter asks her mom about "not feeling fresh" and the mother is like "what the hell are you talking about?", followed by the daughter eventually explicitly explaining and the mother reacting like "OMG,  no! Never! You need to see your doctor!". 

[Ubiquit0us]

3 hours ago, ctlady said:

Not sure if you're talking about Disney or Discovery + but either way - both are annoying.  Why do current shows on Discovery INSIST on keeping the Discovery+ promo symbol up in the corner of the screen for the entire show ?  And sometimes the flash a huge banner across the bottom.  Enough!

Discovery's streaming service was originally called D+, so I still use that appropriate name. 

Yes, I hate the D+ bug and banner on all their affiliated channels,  too!

[CrystalBlue]

Just saw the stupid Alexa commercial with the weaselly toast-dropping dad who asks which volcano destroyed Pompeii.  Yeah, weird way to enunciate Vesuvius - is he trying to sound Italian?  Is this the new Covid Homeschooling?  Why is he doing the brat daughter's homework for her?

[Gramto6]

2 hours ago, Ubiquit0us said:

Discovery's streaming service was originally called D+, so I still use that appropriate name. 

Yes, I hate the D+ bug and banner on all their affiliated channels,  too!

And D+ is the perfect description/rating of what they are trying to get us all to subscribe to...not going to happen here ever, EVER!



 

[Poohbear617]

Can someone please explain to me the air bnb commercial using Dolly Parton's version of I Will Always Love You.    At first i thought it was going to be another ASPCA commercial the way it was showing pictures of that beautiful dog and i got worried...but then i watched the whole thing.  I just dont get it...its annoying and it wastes dollys beautiful song.

[Bruinsfan]

The only things I know about Ice-T are that John Mulaney does a hilarious stand-up bit about his Law & Order character, and I recall him saying "I'm gonna take a pass on that Pool Boy" to Bryan Callen's offer to rub sunscreen on each other in a MADtv sketch about 25 years ago.

[cynicat]

10 hours ago, Bastet said:

Wash the vulva (with warm water [and a mild soap if desired]), but leave the vagina alone.

I think this statement should be made into a decorative sign

[tres bien]

Today Joe Namath pops in with "newly revised" Medicare ad. The man is positively hyperactive.  

Which I've decided is refreshing when compared to Tom Selleck lumbering around like an old grizzly bear practically huffing and puffing till he plops down. 

Edited February 27, 2021 by tres bien

[Ashforth]

2 hours ago, cynicat said:

I think this statement should be made into a decorative sign

Embroidered into a sampler or a throw pillow. I'd love to see that Etsy commercial!

[sempervivum]

5 hours ago, cynicat said:

I think this statement should be made into a decorative sign

Or a plaque like the 'No Fussin No Mussin' one the guy on the Geico ad throws in the waste can?

Re. Phexxi- if this stuff is so irritating to some women, what does it do to men? Just wondering 🙄 

Why does everybody have to do that fancy Italian prounciation for 'Fieri' with a big rolled 'r', especially since he was born 'Ferry', and only changed it to Fieri(his grandfather's pre-immigration name) in 1995? And why didn't he go whole hog and change his first name to Guido or Guiseppe? Ugh, can't stand this phony creep.

[dleighg]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

Why does everybody have to do that fancy Italian prounciation for 'Fieri' with a big rolled 'r', especially since he was born 'Ferry', and only changed it to Fieri(his grandfather's pre-immigration name) in 1995?

YES! And I don't even think Guy pronounces it that way, does he? 

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, dleighg said:

YES! And I don't even think Guy pronounces it that way, does he? 

Oh, yeah.

[chessiegal]

11 minutes ago, dleighg said:

YES! And I don't even think Guy pronounces it that way, does he? 

Yes, Guy pronounces the r as a t.

[Bastet]

49 minutes ago, dleighg said:

And I don't even think Guy pronounces it that way, does he?

Oh, you are so lucky that you have successfully avoided exposure to him.  No, that's how he pronounces it (which is why that's how others are referring to him).

[Bastet]

8 hours ago, cynicat said:

I think this statement should be made into a decorative sign

Anything to get people to learn the difference between vagina and vulva, because way too many say vagina when they're referring to the vulva.  I swear, we need a nationwide reprinting and distribution of Our Bodies, Ourselves.  Like how the phone book used to just appear on our doorsteps.

Back to commercials, I finally saw the new Haribo commercial where kid voices come out of adult mouths.  I cannot believe they made a sequel.  The first one is still the worst, but this one is terrible, too.

[dleighg]

1 hour ago, chessiegal said:

Yes, Guy pronounces the r as a t.

I admit I've never heard Guy say his own name, but the people in the commercials are doing some kind of combo between a rolled R and an L

[chessiegal]

15 minutes ago, dleighg said:

I admit I've never heard Guy say his own name, but the people in the commercials are doing some kind of combo between a rolled R and an L

Here you go.

Guy Fieri

[peacheslatour]

14 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

Here you go.

Guy Fieri

The horror...

[KLovestoShop]

My nephew was visiting when the insurance commercial came on with the pirate trying to find the woman a parking space.  At the end he instructs the woman to go to another lot where there are supposedly more spaces.  But at the end he says something that my nephew thought was "There are places bigger than my anus".  I rolled it back, and yeah, it did sound a lot like what he said it was.  

[peacheslatour]

1 minute ago, KLovestoShop said:

My nephew was visiting when the insurance commercial came on with the pirate trying to find the woman a parking space.  At the end he instructs the woman to go to another lot where there are supposedly more spaces.  But at the end he says something that my nephew thought was "There are places bigger than my anus".  I rolled it back, and yeah, it did sound a lot like what he said it was.  

That's Captain Ahab from Moby Dick and that sure is what it sounds like he said. I don't have a clue what he is really saying.

[Bastet]

I hadn't seen that one, so I just searched for it (and cracked up at "Oh, thunderation!"), and he says, "To the northern lot, where there be parking spaces as big as whales".

[peacheslatour]

21 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I hadn't seen that one, so I just searched for it (and cracked up at "Oh, thunderation!"), and he says, "To the northern lot, where there be parking spaces as big as whales".

Way to enunciate, dude. 

[dleighg]

1 hour ago, chessiegal said:

Here you go.

Guy Fieri

yeah it doesn't sound like a T to me, for like an R and an L 

[chessiegal]

5 minutes ago, dleighg said:

yeah it doesn't sound like a T to me, for like an R and an L 

Interesting. That's not how I hear it. To me it rhymes with confetti. IIRC he's made a point of saying he pronounces the "r" as a "t" because that is how Italians would pronounce it.

[CrystalBlue]

11 hours ago, cynicat said:

I think this statement should be made into a decorative sign

Do Not Steam This Area

Gwyneth Paltrow be damned!

 

[dleighg]

3 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

To me it rhymes with confetti. IIRC he's made a point of saying he pronounces the "r" as a "t" because that is how Italians would pronounce it.

I guess if I try it myself a certain kind of T can sound like an R and an L. All depends on where the tongue and the teeth meet. And is that TRUE about Italians?

[dleighg]

Awhile back some of us were talking about that drug for "stomach issues" with the pop group whose lead singer keep leaving to go to the bathroom. The issue was that they never actually sing a song, they just go "ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah AH."

Well lately I've been getting one single Spanish language commercial for a car, chevrolet I think. Note that I don't speak Spanish, don't watch Univision, etc. so I have no clue why I'm getting this ad. But anyway, it's your typical car commercial, with lots of good ol' Americana like lifting hay bales into pickup trucks, and pretty scenery of corn fields. But one scene has a family in the car singing. But all they sing is "Ay ya Ay ya."

Seems the same cheap scheme for not wanting to actually pay for real music.

[CrystalBlue]

10 hours ago, tres bien said:

Today Joe Namath pops in with "newly revised" Medicare ad. The man is positively hyperactive.  

Which I've decided is refreshing when compared to Tom Selleck lumbering around like an old grizzly bear practically huffing and puffing till he plops down. 

What channels are these two American Icons on?

[CrystalBlue]

42 minutes ago, dleighg said:

yeah it doesn't sound like a T to me, for like an R and an L 

His shirt says Guido on it in the beginning still pic shown while they're sitting at the table.

[CrystalBlue]

41 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Awhile back some of us were talking about that drug for "stomach issues" with the pop group whose lead singer keep leaving to go to the bathroom. The issue was that they never actually sing a song, they just go "ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah AH."

Well lately I've been getting one single Spanish language commercial for a car, chevrolet I think. Note that I don't speak Spanish, don't watch Univision, etc. so I have no clue why I'm getting this ad. But anyway, it's your typical car commercial, with lots of good ol' Americana like lifting hay bales into pickup trucks, and pretty scenery of corn fields. But one scene has a family in the car singing. But all they sing is "Ay ya Ay ya."

Seems the same cheap scheme for not wanting to actually pay for real music.

Look on the bright side.  At least they're not butchering a beloved song!

Edited February 27, 2021 by CrystalBlue
they're not their - I know better!

[peacheslatour]

16 minutes ago, CrystalBlue said:

What channels are these two American Icons on?

Old people channels.