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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


Message added by Scarlett45

If a person/family was never featured on any of the Duggar shows, and is not related to the Duggar family by blood or marriage, they do not need to be discussed here..

We may all agree that David Rodriques is quite unfortunate looking, but let's refrain from comparing human beings to apes, its got way too much of a loaded history- please review the new Inclusion Policy updated May 1, 2022 , which details guidelines around discussing body type, capabilities, physical appearance etc. Additionally, using body size as an insult is not allowed.

 

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Yes, my kids loved the sound of a car running and water running.  The vacuum was OK for some and not for others.  One of mine hated the sound of the mixer until I mixed up some chocolate frosting in front of her and let her lick the beater.  After that she was very happy to hear it.  My oldest would come running every time she heard a certain TV commercial  "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV..."  She was entranced every time that came on.  My youngest would stop mid scream if she heard the song "In the House of Stone and Light" playing on the radio.

  • Love 4
On ‎4‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 2:04 AM, Heathen said:

Toby Willis got millions of dollars from his family's settlement with the state of Illinois. The total was $100 million; I've read that his parents got $40m of that and each of the three surviving siblings got $20m. No matter the actual dollar amount, Brenda Willis had funds available to escape and save her children. She doesn't even have money for an excuse. 

It seems bizarre that Toby became a millionaire because his young siblings were tragically killed - he wasn't even in the vehicle.

  • Love 2
12 hours ago, DkNNy79 said:

I can’t imagine taking care of 3 small kids at home by myself.  I just had my first child in November and I couldn’t wait to go back to work.  

I was so sleep deprived just watching him (one child).  I was able to function somehow but I can’t imagine how I would handle 3.

I’m curious if she will still work that cleaning job at night. I have a  similar type job where I go to work before my husband gets up and goes to work, I come home, take care of my young kids, then go back as soon as he gets home. It’s tough being “on” all the time, and to always have someone depending on you. But I have the benefit of comparison that this is way easier than when we worked the same schedule rather than opposite schedules, my kids are a little older than her oldest, and my husband at least strives to be an equal partner. Alyssa is going to have a tough road ahead. 

  • Love 8
17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

I think by the time Alyssa hits baby 5 or 6 in the next 3-4 years with no additional help (like sister Moms or nannies) she may opt for a tubal or ask her husband to get a vasectomy. Remember it was at child 7 (Joseph) that Michelle had a her laundry room breakdown.

 

To US 3 kids at 23 may be a lot but to her it’s a “shrug”. 

But in 3-4 years Allie will be on the lower end of sistermom age .

  • Love 5
6 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Yes, my kids loved the sound of a car running and water running.  The vacuum was OK for some and not for others.  One of mine hated the sound of the mixer until I mixed up some chocolate frosting in front of her and let her lick the beater.  After that she was very happy to hear it.  My oldest would come running every time she heard a certain TV commercial  "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV..."  She was entranced every time that came on.  My youngest would stop mid scream if she heard the song "In the House of Stone and Light" playing on the radio.

I stayed home for 6 months after my son was born, before returning to work.  During that time, alas, I discovered The Young and the Restless and watched it every morning. My son loved the opening song and always scooted to the TV when it came on! This was in the late 1980's; I think they use a different opening song now.

  • Love 4
On 4/15/2018 at 5:45 AM, ginger90 said:

I just hope the Rodrigues family comprehends what they are told by medical personnel. I have my doubts.

I just researched a little about the absence of the corpus collosum.  That poor child may be severely handicapped.  JillRod appears to be much more optimistic than I would be if it were my baby.

  • Love 1
16 hours ago, DkNNy79 said:

I was so sleep deprived just watching him (one child).  I was able to function somehow but I can’t imagine how I would handle 3.

Sadly, I think this can explain the appeal of blanket training to a lot of these people.  Kids who never question are much easier to deal with.

  • Love 4
2 hours ago, louannems said:

I stayed home for 6 months after my son was born, before returning to work.  During that time, alas, I discovered The Young and the Restless and watched it every morning. My son loved the opening song and always scooted to the TV when it came on! This was in the late 1980's; I think they use a different opening song now.

A cousin of mine left for work in the morning after her husband returned from working midnights for years. One day she came home, and her son was chanting, “Jerry, Jerry!”. He survived and is now 23 and a very nice young man!

  • Love 20

Erin also has three little children. I would think she would be just as overwhelmed as Alyssa.

Since Chad works AND then does odd jobs for Erin AFTER work, who has time to take care of the goats Sissy & Bubby, AND a dog?

Chad's life is over. Erin remains in her ignorant bliss of a life surrounded by rainbows and cupcakes. 

  • Love 12
3 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Here's a question for Erin:  If Chad never goes back to work how will they support their 3 children, plus afford the expensive drugs they will need to maintain the next upmteen pregnancies?  She needs to grow up and get real.

Perhaps it was a joke intended to convey how much she enjoyed having her husband around the house for a time?

  • Love 20
1 hour ago, louannems said:

TV show?

That won't last forever.  They are on a niche cable network.  They aren't making huge amounts of money.  IIRC, they never came close to cracking 1 million viewers per episode.  And whatever they do get paid has to be split among a kazillion people.  

I certainly would not bank on that.

14 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

Perhaps it was a joke intended to convey how much she enjoyed having her husband around the house for a time?

Entirely possible.  I am not feeling it today.  Dealing with a rapidly declining aging parent and I just have no patience for people who procreate like rabbits with no worries about the future because "Jesus will provide".  

Edited by 3 is enough
  • Love 16
On 4/15/2018 at 4:28 PM, Scarlett45 said:

 

I think by the time Alyssa hits baby 5 or 6 in the next 3-4 years with no additional help (like sister Moms or nannies) she may opt for a tubal or ask her husband to get a vasectomy. Remember it was at child 7 (Joseph) that Michelle had a her laundry room breakdown.

 

To US 3 kids at 23 may be a lot but to her it’s a “shrug”. 

Michael Farris's oldest daughter also had three girls in three years, the first nine months after the wedding. (He's the former fundie president of the Home School Legal Defense Association.) She spoke about it in slightly veiled terms, but basically admitted she couldn't cope. She had difficult pregnancies involving bedrest and found having three under age three overwhelming. The Farrises were vocally anti birth control, but while I'm not sure she ever came out and openly explained it, she never had any more children. I assume they came to see the error of being so dogmatic. Maybe Alyssa will too.

14 hours ago, floridamom said:

Erin also has three little children. I would think she would be just as overwhelmed as Alyssa.

Since Chad works AND then does odd jobs for Erin AFTER work, who has time to take care of the goats Sissy & Bubby, AND a dog?

Chad's life is over. Erin remains in her ignorant bliss of a life surrounded by rainbows and cupcakes. 

I don't know. I think Chad is genuinely happy, but I could be wrong. 

  • Love 5
11 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Perhaps it was a joke intended to convey how much she enjoyed having her husband around the house for a time?

She might have been joking, but I find it very passive aggressive.  I have a spouse who has health issues and does the same thing to me all the time.  It's nice to sit back while someone else is working hard, paying the bills and dealing with all the adult issues while you stay at home, but it is not easy on the partner doing the work outside the home.  I get guilted all the time about having to do things for my job.  It's not a nice thing to do.  She should be grateful and appreciate that her husband works hard to provide and she is able to have a nice life.  We'd all like to live in lala land where no one has to work and everyone has a nice place to live, food to eat, and entertainment.  Unfortunately, most of us have to be real grown ups.  Of course, my own experiences color my opinion on this, but she should really be saying how much she appreciates what her husband does for their family and that she loves the time they spend together.  No need for the passive aggressive dig about staying home all the time.  It's just stupid.

  • Love 9
1 hour ago, Normades said:

She might have been joking, but I find it very passive aggressive.  I have a spouse who has health issues and does the same thing to me all the time.  It's nice to sit back while someone else is working hard, paying the bills and dealing with all the adult issues while you stay at home, but it is not easy on the partner doing the work outside the home.  I get guilted all the time about having to do things for my job.  It's not a nice thing to do.  She should be grateful and appreciate that her husband works hard to provide and she is able to have a nice life.  We'd all like to live in lala land where no one has to work and everyone has a nice place to live, food to eat, and entertainment.  Unfortunately, most of us have to be real grown ups.  Of course, my own experiences color my opinion on this, but she should really be saying how much she appreciates what her husband does for their family and that she loves the time they spend together.  No need for the passive aggressive dig about staying home all the time.  It's just stupid.

Milages may vary and all that. I can see where you are coming from, but it didn't sound any more passive/aggressive to me than it would for someone to come home from a nice vacation saying they wished they could just live there. 

Edited by Jynnan tonnix
  • Love 12
On 15/04/2018 at 5:41 AM, Scarlett45 said:

His parents? I don’t know. Many would’ve helped but many would’ve stood by their son no matter what a sick fuck he was. 

These types start young and don’t stop. Not saying his parents knew anything but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did (issues with girls complaining about his behavior when he was a teen etc). 

The grandparents could have stood by their son and also provided financial support to their grandchildren and their mother. 

I think money worries are a very poor excuse for Brenda’s inaction. Her husband was routinely raping their daughters, she knew it, and she did very little to stop it. 

The Willis parents make JimChelle look like Mike and Carol Brady. 

  • Love 11
24 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

The grandparents could have stood by their son and also provided financial support to their grandchildren and their mother. 

I think money worries are a very poor excuse for Brenda’s inaction. Her husband was routinely raping their daughters, she knew it, and she did very little to stop it. 

The Willis parents make JimChelle look like Mike and Carol Brady

JB and Michelle knew Josh was molesting his sisters and did nothing to protect the girls. Yes, JB was not raping his daughters, but he knew they were being violated by his own son. They did not get Josh and the girls the help they need. They went out and paraded their children around for the all mighty dollar and five minutes of fame. JB cried foul over the fact his family dirty little secret was announced to the world aka cancelled show and lost of money coming in instead of showing any concern for his four daughters.  He married off Josh and the four girls who were molested and tried to capitalize on his daughters' marriages and grandchildren. JB and Michelle are just as bad as the Willis parents. They have violated the well being of their children in order to get the attention they want and think they deserve.

Edited by bigskygirl
19 hours ago, Kokapetl said:

The grandparents could have stood by their son and also provided financial support to their grandchildren and their mother. 

I think money worries are a very poor excuse for Brenda’s inaction. Her husband was routinely raping their daughters, she knew it, and she did very little to stop it. 

The Willis parents make JimChelle look like Mike and Carol Brady. 

Slow clap. 

I agree with you-I don’t think it was money worries that caused Brenda to look the other way. 

 

I was just just saying that it isn’t safe to assume his parents would stand by Brenda or condemn him for the abuse OR support the grandchildren financially. 

19 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

JB and Michelle knew Josh was molesting his sisters and did nothing to protect the girls. Yes, JB was not raping his daughters, but he knew they were being violated by his own son. They did not get Josh and the girls the help they need. They went out and paraded their children around for the all mighty dollar and five minutes of fame. JB cried foul over the fact his family dirty little secret was announced to the world aka cancelled show instead of showing any concern for his four daughters. JB and Michelle are just as bad as the Willis parents. They have violated the well being of their children in order to get the attention they want and think they deserve.

You expanded on this. I don’t think Brenda is much different than JB/Michelle. They did “punish” Josh because he was also a minor in the home and had him removed for a bit, but my little bit of life experience tells me that we don’t know the entire story and this type of behavior doesn’t just stop. 

Brenda isn’t my concern. My concern is for the Willis kids having healthy and happy lives from here on out. They were INNOCENTS in this world and didn’t deserve to go through that. I’m glad he is behind bars where he cannot hurt any more kids. 

Edited by Scarlett45
  • Love 2

I wish we could lock up JB, Michelle, Josh, Brenda and her husband in a small cell with enough food to last for a few days. The father should be watching his back in prison because if the other prisoners found out he raped his daughters he will be a target. Maybe some old fashion justice will be served. I know it sounds mean, but it is what he deserves.

29 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

JB and Michelle knew Josh was molesting his sisters and did nothing to protect the girls. Yes, JB was not raping his daughters, but he knew they were being violated by his own son. They did not get Josh and the girls the help they need. They went out and paraded their children around for the all mighty dollar and five minutes of fame. JB cried foul over the fact his family dirty little secret was announced to the world aka cancelled show instead of showing any concern for his four daughters. JB and Michelle are just as bad as the Willis parents. They have violated the well being of their children in order to get the attention they want and think they deserve.

JimBob and Michelle did intervene after the second or third touching incident and had Josh sent to the work camp. JimBob and Michelle put an end to the molestations. The first time they learned of their thirteen year old son touching his sisters was in March 2002, and Josh was eventually sent to the work camp in March 2003. Brenda Willis knew about her husband molesting her eldest daughter since 2001, she periodically had arguments about it with her husband, but that’s it. The rapes continued and more daughters were raped over the next 15 years and she knew it. Toby raped the eldest daughter from when she was three until she was seventeen, at which point he deescalated into some form of lesser but still illegal sexual behaviour. He was convicted of four counts of child rape involving his four eldest daughters. That’s four counts of raping a child under thirteen. He got 40 years. Toby and Brenda are off the scale bad parents compared to JimChelle.

I don’t think their reality tv shows are relevant.

Edited by Kokapetl
  • Love 10
On 4/15/2018 at 5:03 PM, DkNNy79 said:

I can’t imagine taking care of 3 small kids at home by myself.

my mother had 6 kids by age 23, starting with  me at age 16. she did not have help, kept a spotless house and was a size 4 my whole life.  alyssa seems to be the type-A sort of gal, like my mom. she will probably do just fine. 

  • Love 2
3 minutes ago, zoomama said:

my mother had 6 kids by age 23, starting with  me at age 16. she did not have help, kept a spotless house and was a size 4 my whole life.  alyssa seems to be the type-A sort of gal, like my mom. she will probably do just fine. 

Did your mom have to deal with Instagram and reality tv at the same time? I get what you're saying, but comparing generations is comparing apples and oranges. 

  • Love 5
11 minutes ago, zoomama said:

my mother had 6 kids by age 23, starting with  me at age 16. she did not have help, kept a spotless house and was a size 4 my whole life.  alyssa seems to be the type-A sort of gal, like my mom. she will probably do just fine. 

 

5 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Did your mom have to deal with Instagram and reality tv at the same time? I get what you're saying, but comparing generations is comparing apples and oranges. 

not sure what you mean by this but raising kids is raising kids.  there were other quite large distractions in my mom's life at the time she raised us.  so apples or oranges, what i was saying is that alyssa will most probably do just fine raising her kids. if my mom could do it with the strike she had against her, then so to can these girls. 

Edited by zoomama
cuz spelling...
  • Love 6
31 minutes ago, zoomama said:

 

not sure what you mean by this but raising kids is raising kids.  there were other quite large distractions in my mom's life at the time she raised us.  so apples or oranges, what i was saying is that alyssa will most probably do just fine raising her kids. if my mom could do it with the strike she had against her, then so to can these girls. 

Raising kids and coping with everything else now is not the same as twenty, thirty, forty years ago. It's probably not the same as TEN years ago. 

  • Love 3

Some people are just driven differently...I’m a single mother and my House is relatively clean, I pretty much do everything and juggle the kids sports, baton lessons. 

May sister is married- her house is always messy and she has a cleaning woman come in every other week and gets my mom to do her laundry weekly-and her kids have chores daily. She went back to work 2 years ago and her house was worse when she stayed at home. 

  • Love 5
55 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

And the only reason Josh never faced legal consequences for his actions is because his parents protected him until the statute of limitations had run.  Like Brenda, they enabled someone to continue assaulting children.  Like Brenda, JimBob and Michelle haven't paid any legal price for their complicity in not stopping it immediately by any means necessary.  This is like asking, would you rather your child get hit by an SUV or a dump truck while crossing the street? The Duggar girls have paid a far higher price than their molester ever did, at least in part because his parents chose to protect him over them.  Brenda did the same to her daughters; she decided that her husband needed protection more than her kids did. Doesn't matter why.  When a child is in danger, it is up to the adults to act; no matter what the danger might be.  And, if they don't, they are scum.  Period.

If Josh was an adult when he committed his crimes, and he performed similar crimes to Toby, the statute of limitations would not have expired when he was investigated. In that hypothetical situation he could have been convicted and sentenced to a 25 year minimum.

5 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

If Josh was an adult when he committed his crimes, and he performed similar crimes to Toby, the statute of limitations would not have expired when he was investigated. In that hypothetical situation he could have been convicted and sentenced to a 25 year minimum.

The ironic thing was JB was pushing for tougher sentences for child molesters when he was a state representative, but he covered for his own son who molested his four sisters more than once. I think JB, Michelle, and Josh should be put in one cell, and Brenda and Toby should be put in another cell for what they did to their children and for what Josh did to his sisters. May karma come calling for all of them one day.

I never watched The Willis Family when it aired but this new blog by the oldest has me riveted. Those are some talented kids (when compared to the caterwauling violins that the Duggars play and don’t get me started on the Lawson Bates.) 

Crimes against children are not endearing to the penitentiary hierarchy. It’d be a shame* if he had to spend 23 hours a day in solitary confinement because of his crimes. (I don’t wish physical harm or rape on anyone no matter how much of a disgusting monster they may be.)   

I really hope Jessica continues to blog because I think her voice would be a powerful tool for others healing from sexual abuse. 

 

*total sarcasm

  • Love 8

JB and M tried with their little pea brains to protect BOTH Josh and the girls. I don’t agree with how they did it, I don’t think they did it right, but they did realize that they had to take action. Brenda did NOTHING. She should be criminally charged and thrown in there as long as her vile husband. Once she found out, She knew.  Every time she woke up at night and he wasn’t there, she knew. She knew every time her daughters had that “look”.  Didn’t they subscribe to that biblical discipline thing that says that a husband can beat his wife? By all means, if you want to be beat, go for it. But, you yelled at your husband for raping your daughters?? Oh no, there’s a special place in hell (and prison) for you. 

  • Love 14
Quote

they did realize that they had to take action

After like 2-3 molestations. You take action immediately after 1, even if it ends your family's budding profit margin. They get no pass.

 

34 minutes ago, Mojitogirl said:

But, you yelled at your husband for raping your daughters?? Oh no, there’s a special place in hell (and prison) for you. 

Agreed.

  • Love 14
On 4/12/2018 at 7:17 PM, Temperance said:

I have lighter moment for this thread, which this thread could use. Chelsy Renee Bontrager Maxwell has been doing a lot of blogging. She has time to do a full write-up about her wedding (from December) and posted lots of pictures. She did part 3 of her wedding on her blog Tuesday. Her parents decided they needed to post pictures of her wedding on Wednesday. Today (Thursday) her in-laws decided they couldn't be outdone and posted pictures of her wedding. 

I finally went down the rabbit hole and looked at the pictures, and I have to admit, for a Fundie bare-bones wedding, they did a pretty good job. I liked that they kept the altar undecorated rather than clutter it with a bunch of tacky DIY crap like the Duggars. Even though they didn't serve a huge variety of food, the taco soup, cheesecakes and coffee bar fit much better with a winter wedding than Jessa's Ice Cream Social in a frozen parking lot. I wonder why these other families can put on a respectable affair while the Duggars are just so classless. The only wedding that was halfway decent was Jinger's.

  • Love 7
39 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I finally went down the rabbit hole and looked at the pictures, and I have to admit, for a Fundie bare-bones wedding, they did a pretty good job. I liked that they kept the altar undecorated rather than clutter it with a bunch of tacky DIY crap like the Duggars. Even though they didn't serve a huge variety of food, the taco soup, cheesecakes and coffee bar fit much better with a winter wedding than Jessa's Ice Cream Social in a frozen parking lot. I wonder why these other families can put on a respectable affair while the Duggars are just so classless. The only wedding that was halfway decent was Jinger's.

That’s cause many of these other fundy families understand basic social rules and human interaction. 

I love a fancy wedding, but certainly respect those that live within their means with their wedding budget. If all you can afford to serve are beverages, small bites and cake that’s fine, but PLEASE have enough for everyone and make sure it’s the right temperature. Golly. 

Why did the mother of the bride look like she was wearing a cardigan?

Edited by Scarlett45
  • Love 4

JB & M struggled with protecting both Josh and the girls. Josh was(is) their child too.

Brenda struggled with protecting her children and herself.

Like I said before I have worked with many folks in similar situations and have come to understand why folks do what they do and find it hard to judge them. However ...

In these two cases I see action verses inaction. I see one year of abuse verses 15+ years of abuse. I see decisions made concerning a child and 4 children verses decisions made concerning a husband, Brenda herself and 12 kids.

I think JB & M wrestled with a lot of feelings but were able to do something and it seems Brenda, for whatever reasons, did nothing.

At the end of the day the Duggar 4 know their parents did something. It's unfortunate that the Willis 12 have to find peace with the fact that their mother did not. And that sucks.

  • Love 19

So I went scouring FJ for information.  All of the following is info from their site. Jill does Facebook more than the blog and then only with her friends. (I dare anyone who wants to send a polite friend request.)  Here is what I learned. 

Jill did FacebookLIVE!  on Monday April 16. Her faith is renewed in God and Plexus. They are back with her family. She witnessed her faith to the nurses. They annoyed her by asking repeatedly how the baby was eating. (6)

She posted picture on facebook, but maybe just friends can see?  (9) Jill's parents came to see the baby. (17) 

Nurie turned 19 recently. Doesn't seem to be in a courtship. There are some rumors about why.

Jill was asking about churchs in the Richmond, VA, but no one knows why. There was some speculation as to why. 

  • Love 4
4 hours ago, Temperance said:

So I went scouring FJ for information.  All of the following is info from their site. Jill does Facebook more than the blog and then only with her friends. (I dare anyone who wants to send a polite friend request.)  Here is what I learned. 

Jill did FacebookLIVE!  on Monday April 16. Her faith is renewed in God and Plexus. They are back with her family. She witnessed her faith to the nurses. They annoyed her by asking repeatedly how the baby was eating. (6)

She posted picture on facebook, but maybe just friends can see?  (9) Jill's parents came to see the baby. (17) 

Nurie turned 19 recently. Doesn't seem to be in a courtship. There are some rumors about why.

Jill was asking about churchs in the Richmond, VA, but no one knows why. There was some speculation as to why. 

What are the rumors about why Nurie isn't courting?

  • Love 1
3 hours ago, louannems said:

Again, someone on FG who admitted to actually talking to Jill, said he was a dental student, but failed David's and Jill's questioneer about viewing porn.

Or they were afraid he has a real education and wanted the same for Nurie and their kids. 

Edited by SMama
  • Love 14
3 hours ago, SMama said:
3 hours ago, louannems said:

Again, someone on FG who admitted to actually talking to Jill, said he was a dental student, but failed David's and Jill's questioneer about viewing porn.

Or they were afraid he has a real education and want the same for Nurie and their kids. 

This is probably closer to the truth than the porn viewing. David isn't going to allow his children to go off the rails by marrying anyone who won't willingly place him or herself under his mighty thumb.

  • Love 3

Why are Fundy's so preoccupied with porn? The emphasis they put sex just makes it that more appealing. Sex is something that almost everyone will partake in for a good portion of their lives and the way they fixate on it I'd be surprised if many of these Fundies have healthy sex lives.

  • Love 15
Message added by Scarlett45

If a person/family was never featured on any of the Duggar shows, and is not related to the Duggar family by blood or marriage, they do not need to be discussed here..

We may all agree that David Rodriques is quite unfortunate looking, but let's refrain from comparing human beings to apes, its got way too much of a loaded history- please review the new Inclusion Policy updated May 1, 2022 , which details guidelines around discussing body type, capabilities, physical appearance etc. Additionally, using body size as an insult is not allowed.

 

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