Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jenniferbug]

Sending virtual hugs to anyone who needs one today! ❤

[latetotheparty]

6 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I never seen Frasier or Friends.

 

I just finished the Parkers on Netflix. That show would have been canceled today real quick. Nicki Parker sexually harasses the professor in every episode. I didn’t find it funny either. How it ends is even worse. Yikes.

 

@PikaScrewChu

I ran into this with Republic of Doyle, which I LOVED on so many levels. (It’s worth watching just for the Newfoundland scenery. And it’s a motherlode for Canadian Actor Bingo.) But Jake’s behavior is really hard to watch sometimes. 

Edited November 4, 2020 by latetotheparty

[frenchtoast]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

Thank you to all the poll workers! I can't imagine how stressful it must be during normal times, let alone Covid times. 

Echoing @emma675 a big huge thank you to all the poll workers and local election officials. They have done an marvelous and thankless job. I can't imagine those folk in the states still counting how nerve wracking it must be. Despite the small hiccup for me and large hiccup for my son, those poll volunteers were doing their damnedest to make sure we were able to vote. 

[ChiCricket]

  My oldest daughter was a poll worker yesterday too (she's been doing it for years, so now she's a supervisor.)

  This was the first year I really didn't want her to do it. The building they have it in doesn't even have openable windows. So I was worried about the air flow in there (because covid.)

 They decided to prop open the front and back doors, and hope for the best.  (It was a beautiful day out..almost 70°)

I'll feel better once 2 weeks pass and she is still healthy.

Edited November 4, 2020 by ChiCricket

[GeeGolly]

Agree with you all. It can't be said enough times. Thank-you poll workers!

[ChiCricket]

16 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Agree with you all. It can't be said enough times. Thank-you poll workers!

This was the first time I ever voted where all of the poll workers weren't elderly! (usually extremely elderly)

It was very odd (but good) to see all the young people manning the place. 😊

Edited November 5, 2020 by ChiCricket

[MonicaM]

5 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

This was the first time I ever voted where all of the pol workers weren't elderly! (usually extremely elderly)

It was very odd (but good) to see all the young people manning the place. 😊

They were practically begging for poll workers in my area.  I've always wanted to work the elections, but other obligations have been an obstacle in past years.  This year I theoretically could have worked on election day, but didn't want to take the risk.  We voted early at the courthouse, so I don't know who ended up working that day.  Normally it's older retired people.  We have a ton of anti maskers in our area, so I'm guessing that it was probably older, retired, maskless workers, handing out ballots to voters who, for the most part, also were skipping the masks.  😠

[Zella]

40 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

This was the first time I ever voted where all of the pol workers weren't elderly! (usually extremely elderly)

It was very odd (but good) to see all the young people manning the place. 😊

I've worked polls before--weirdly enough, always primaries rather than general elections--on and off for 10 years. At 31, I was easily the youngest person working the primaries this year here, and when I was in my 20s, I was always the youngest by decades. The next youngest for our March primaries was late 40s. But for the general election, they had pulled in some more people my age and even younger. I was very pleased about that. The people I talked to seemed interested in doing this for future elections. 

My personal goal for next election cycle here is to recruit more Spanish-speaking poll workers. We have a pretty sizeable Hispanic minority, and they turned out to vote in large numbers, but we didn't have a poll worker who spoke Spanish yesterday or during the early voting shifts I took. I would very much like to ensure they don't have any language barrier and aren't dependent on access to someone close to them to vote. (Most of them brought kids or grandkids to help them, which is fine and perfectly legal, but I noticed a real change in access at the library where I work once we got a full-time Hispanic employee, so they could talk to someone directly and not rely on an interpreter.)

Edited November 4, 2020 by Zella

[beckie]

I feel like every time I post here its negative,  but I don't know who to talk to or what to do.

Hubby is on disability.  For the second time, its not here yet. Hubby doesn't handle stuff like that well. So he got drunk. When he gets drunk he gets mean. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with but when he gets drunk everything is my fault.  I haven't had a job since August because I had to have foot surgery. I haven't been released by the dr to go back yet, but since I'm not working,  I'm not contributing and I'm doing nothing.  He pushed  me twice and tried to choke me then left saying he's going to divorce me. Then he lied to our building manager and said I threw him out.

I don't know what to do. I don't have anything left in me and I just want to die. 

 

[iwantcookies]

@beckie I’m so sorry you are going through this. Domestic violence is not okay. 

[Temperance]

14 minutes ago, beckie said:

I feel like every time I post here its negative,  but I don't know who to talk to or what to do.

Hubby is on disability.  For the second time, its not here yet. Hubby doesn't handle stuff like that well. So he got drunk. When he gets drunk he gets mean. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with but when he gets drunk everything is my fault.  I haven't had a job since August because I had to have foot surgery. I haven't been released by the dr to go back yet, but since I'm not working,  I'm not contributing and I'm doing nothing.  He pushed  me twice and tried to choke me then left saying he's going to divorce me. Then he lied to our building manager and said I threw him out.

I don't know what to do. I don't have anything left in me and I just want to die. 

 

this is the hotline for domestic abuse.  Get help! Now!

[Zella]

@beckie, I second what Temperance said. Choking/strangulation is the reddest flag of all red flags when it comes to domestic violence. I don't know if he's done that before, but regardless of whether or not it's the first time, that's just absolutely unacceptable. Doesn't matter that he was drunk or frustrated. 

Edited November 4, 2020 by Zella

[crazycatlady58]

@beckie Yes. Call the hotline NOW. Do you have a friend, relative who can take you in? Do you feel safe calling the police? If he left bruises take pictures NOW  before they fade. Be steadfast in your decision. 

[marypat57]

Beckie:  please, PLEASE, PLEASE call one of the domestic violence hotlines!!!
 

You need to do this!  You do not have to live with the violence.

 

[Lisa418722]

@beckie, being choked is not OK!!  Domestic violence is not OK!!  I don't care if the check didn't come in, if you have not been released to return to work, he is drunk, whatever his excuse is, it is not OK!!!   Please call the hotline given to you above. Or if there is somewhere you can go safely, get out.   Also, it doesn't matter if you are easy to get along with or not, this is not your fault.  

[DangerousMinds]

10 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I never seen Frasier or Friends.

 

I just finished the Parkers on Netflix. That show would have been canceled today real quick. Nicki Parker sexually harasses the professor in every episode. I didn’t find it funny either. How it ends is even worse. Yikes.

 

@PikaScrewChu

You should watch Fraser. Pure joy.

[Scarlett45]

I’m rewatching One Tree Hill and reliving my youth. 

[Love2dance]

@beckie, the posters before me are giving you the best advice. Please call a hotline now. They can help you and you will be so glad you did. I know this is so scary, but I promise you it is the best thing to do. Please keep letting us know how you are!

[crazy8s]

Beckie please call for help

 

[Liddy52]

@beckie Echoing what everyone else has said. Call the hotline. Get out! Go to a hospital and get your injuries documented.  Do not stay in this situation.  It will not get better. 

Edited November 5, 2020 by Liddy52

[Mindthinkr]

I left an abuser. Best decision I ever made. Then I took the local shelters classes which helped me recover and recognize what I needed to do to get better and to never allow it to happen again. He was a drinker too and they are unpredictable. Get help now. 

[MonicaM]

@beckie  I speak from personal experience in my first marriage  - it won't get any better and most likely will get worse.  I also know from personal experience that he probably has you convinced that you deserve to be mistreated.  You absolutely do NOT!!!  I know it's tough, and I realize you may not be ready to accept help at the moment.  But please at least document this episode with someone.  Preferably the police or someone at the emergency room, but even telling a friend and having him/her take a picture and make a note of the date is a good start.

Leaving my abusive husband was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.  Seems like it should be easy, but abusers know how to develop a hold on you that's difficult to break.  I hope this is episode is a big step in the process of you getting out.  It may not seem like it now, but life gets so much better when you get out of the grip of abuse.  

[Totally]

Beckie you need to leave. Abuse is never deserved, NEVER! 
please call the hotline listed above. It is harder and probably harder due to the current situation with covid, but you need to be safe. 
I’m not in the US so I’m not sure how it works so I can only ask you to ring the hotline and get started on getting into a safe situation 

Even if you don’t feel strong enough to do this there are people who can help you be strong. You are important and worthy of a non violent home and relationship. 
please be safe, call the hotline 

[louannems]

On 11/3/2020 at 12:27 AM, latetotheparty said:

I had to sink bath for nine weeks when I ruptured my Achilles’ tendon because I couldn’t get my cast wet. It wasn’t until about 3-4 days before the final cast came off that I learned thee were actual cast covers that work.   I could not wait until I could get in the tub again. 

I had big toe joint fusion surgery and could not shower for several weeks.  But I crawled into the tub, leaving my leg hanging over the side.

I had to get over my phobia of taking a bath without showering first, but the water felt wonderful and I looked forward to it each morning.

I only remember taking one "sink bath" ever and I just felt gross. It felt drippy and like I was just smearing bacteria around.  I ended up getting in the shower anyway!  But it takes a lot of soap and lathering and scrubbing and rinsing for me to feel clean.

[louannems]

8 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

This was the first time I ever voted where all of the pol workers weren't elderly! (usually extremely elderly)

It was very odd (but good) to see all the young people manning the place. 😊

I miss going to the polls, because they were always in schools and there would always be a bake sale!

My state has been entirely vote by mail for many years, without any problems.  On election day, 75% of the vote was already in.

[GeeGolly]

@beckie, please call the hotline or find a local hotline or crisis number. Domestic violence workers will not force you to leave or make you do anything, they will work with you to find the best solution/route for your safety. In the meantime it would be great if you could find some place to stay or at the very least make your home as safe as possible. Try and keep alcohol out of the home, remove or hide any weapons, have an escape plan, including code words you could text or say to someone, so they'll call 911 for you.

[Scarlett45]

Day 17 of my challenge. So far the end of week 1 and the start of week 2 were the hardest because I was sore. But I am now at the point where its actually easier. FOR REAL. It hasnt even been a month. WOW. 

[Oldernowiser]

@beckie, please call that hotline. You won’t even have to give them your name if you don’t want to. They have access to resources that can help you, even if it’s just someone you can call in real life when you need a human voice.

What he did is NOT OKAY. Drinking is no excuse...the vast majority of alcoholics never hurt anyone but themselves.

 A big fierce hug, sweetie...

Edited November 5, 2020 by Oldernowiser

[CherryMalotte]

Please get help Beckie...don't stay.  No relationship is worth being hurt in that way.  Get out now.

[Scarlett45]

WFH is driving me nuts today. People don’t read their emails, signal is bad, and when I do a screen share I can’t do anything else so I just had to tell people to end the screen share and I would look it up myself. 

[Jenniferbug]

I'm sorry @Scarlett45. That sounds like such a frustrating work day! I hate days when technology doesn't cooperate. 

Cases in my county are at a scary high. Our school superintendent decided to go to remote learning for the next week. Why only 1 week, I don't know. So I will be working from home and supervising my children's learning (ie, making sure they're logged into Zooms on time, etc). My husband is still expected to go into his classroom to teach remotely, but at least fewer people will be in the building.

My in-laws tested positive for covid (exposure via a student at work) but so far are not having any severe symptoms. 

It's been a week of chaos and the next one probably will be too, but I'm still glad to have the kids home safe. 

[ginger90]

The middle school in my district is shut down tomorrow, and all of next week. A student and a support staff member have tested positive.

😞

[Nysha]

I was a poll worker for the first time on Tuesday. It was very eye-opening on how secure voting in my town is. We were in the fair building with 11 other precincts. Normally they use less than half the building, but because of COVID they used the whole building. Thankfully, a judge ruled that it violated freedom of speech to not to allow voters to wear apparel and pins declaring their support for whomever so we didn't have people mad at us b/c they had to remove their hat, pins, or shirt. I'm going to do this in the future, also.

@beckie, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this on top of an already awful year. I hope your mom has a very mild case and please listen to the advice other posters have given. Your life has value and the world would be a sadder place without you. Don't let your abuser define what and who you are.  

[Zella]

11 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Thankfully, a judge ruled that it violated freedom of speech to not to allow voters to wear apparel and pins declaring their support for whomever so we didn't have people mad at us b/c they had to remove their hat, pins, or shirt. I'm going to do this in the future, also.

In Arkansas, it's a crime to have any public declaration within 100 feet of a polling site, so anytime someone tried to pull the free speech argument, we shut them down by quoting the penalties for electioneering. Fortunately, it didn't lead to too much trouble, other than one armchair scholar who wasn't very bold or brave after he got called on it. 

Edited November 5, 2020 by Zella

[Nysha]

Until this year it was forbidden, but it was up to security to deal with it. If someone made it to the voting table with a pro-candidate shirt on we were instructed to let them vote. It's above our paygrade to deal with ANY possibly aggressive person. Which is good because Idaho has more guns than people.

[SunnyBeBe]

My 20 year old niece is covid positive. So far, she’s not showing symptoms. Was notified to get tested by a close contact (classmate) who’s postive. It’s been several weeks since in my parent’s home. 

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

My 20 year old niece is covid positive. So far, she’s not showing symptoms. Was notified to get tested by a close contact (classmate) who’s postive. It’s been several weeks since in my parent’s home. 

Sorry to hear that. I'm glad she's not showing an symptoms. That's good. I'll pray for her and her classmates.

[ChiCricket]

Anyone else still up and glued to the news? 

Ps.. now I can go to sleep. 😊

Edited November 6, 2020 by ChiCricket

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, ChiCricket said:

Anyone else still up and glued to the news? 

Ps.. now I can go to sleep. 😊

Slept for four hours. 

[Scarlett45]

Day 19 of my challenge- I missed a day some where (telling you guys about it, but I’ve been doing it daily)-but it’s day 19! It’s easier!!! Taking my mom to her follow up appointments today. 

[SunnyBeBe]

4 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Sorry to hear that. I'm glad she's not showing an symptoms. That's good. I'll pray for her and her classmates.

I appreciate that.  Hopefully, her nor her mother and teen brother will get sick.  
 

My mom has decided that we will NOT have our regular Thanksgiving family meal this year.  So, that’s a relief.  I’ll be there and will likely set up a zoom meeting or we’ll just FT.  

[beckie]

Thank you for all the responses and good advice.  I am still here and still with hubby. Its probably the wrong decision,  but the only other option I had, to get away, was just as bad.

He and I had a long talk. I don't know if it'll happen again, but I'm being active to be more prepared if it does.

Hugs to all of you and thanks again.

[crazycatlady58]

4 minutes ago, beckie said:

Thank you for all the responses and good advice.  I am still here and still with hubby. Its probably the wrong decision,  but the only other option I had, to get away, was just as bad.

He and I had a long talk. I don't know if it'll happen again, but I'm being active to be more prepared if it does.

Hugs to all of you and thanks again.

Do your best to have a plan in place. That way if it happens again you can leave. If you can talk with a counselor if your husband does not want to go to a counselor you go alone. Be safe.

[Mindthinkr]

@beckie In my city those domestic violence classes are free, available to anyone who wants to take them (whether or not you are with your abuser) and are held at different times of the day so woman can take them when their husbands are usually at work. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have them in Zoom form during Covid. They probably could give you a few pointers on how to really be prepared and where you can escape to safely. I really urge you to give them a call just to see what options are available to you. You are worth so much more than being a punching bag. Please...

[Oldernowiser]

We’re here for you @beckie, always.

[doodlebug]

On 11/5/2020 at 1:55 AM, GeeGolly said:

@beckie, please call the hotline or find a local hotline or crisis number. Domestic violence workers will not force you to leave or make you do anything, they will work with you to find the best solution/route for your safety. In the meantime it would be great if you could find some place to stay or at the very least make your home as safe as possible. Try and keep alcohol out of the home, remove or hide any weapons, have an escape plan, including code words you could text or say to someone, so they'll call 911 for you.

I will echo this.  Even if you aren't ready to leave right now, you need a 'go bag' packed and ready at a moment's notice.  A change of clothes, especially underwear; basic toiletries, gloves and a hat if you live in a cool weather area.  A copy of your birth certificate, social security card, driver's license and passport in case you don't have time to gather them in an emergency.  Cash, ATM card, and a credit card are essential; try to be able to access at least enough for a motel if nothing else. A list of all the numbers of your credit cards as well as the 800 number to call to cancel the account or to get a new card. A cell phone with a charger; even a cheap disposable one with the numbers of the domestic violence hotlines programmed as well as family and friends that you trust.  If possible, put a couple of granola bars or trail mix in there in case you need a quick snack at some point.

If it is possible, you need a bank account in your name only, one he doesn't know you have; where you can save some money for a rainy day.  Even if he controls the finances, try to put away even $5 or $10 at a time so you've got some resources if you need to leave in a hurry.

[Scarlett45]

Guys, you’ve been right at the line with talk about the election. 
 

Please review the Politics Policy. 

[DangerousMinds]

12 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Anyone else still up and glued to the news? 

Ps.. now I can go to sleep. 😊

For days. I sleep every now and then.

[Scarlett45]

Day 20 of my challenge. Took myself to a near by park as it’s unseasonably warm in Chicago-land. Told a friend that lives nearby where I was going and checked in on my Mom’s unit via the cameras (they are sleeping now). 
 

Going to help my mom shower and get ready for the day, make her breakfast and then deal with my sister. Episodes of the Mandolorian await me after that. 
 

And my mom is still sleeping & I don’t have the heart to wake her. Going to make myself some tea. 

[MunichNark]

I'm wrecked - I've moved flats for the first time in 11 years (longest I've ever stayed in anywhere). Strictly speaking, I no longer live in Munich so should probably call myself Culchiesnark now or summat😄 I'm exhausted but my new place is right on the edge of a small town and I have a cornfield next to me and views! I've waited for over 5 years for this.

@beckie, please please look after yourself, do not EVER believe that anything is your fault. Seconded all the good advice given, don't accept a life of violence and fear, you deserve much much more than that.

Hope everyone is keeping as well as is possible in this strange year🧡