Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Barb23]

My mother-in-law buys clothes for most of the relatives & sometimes her choices are way off. She does include the gift slip& the items come from nice stores but I wish she would just give us a gift card in the first place. My husband usually does ok, as he gets golf shirts. My son ends up with a shirt & tie ensemble which rarely gets worn. I end up with a frumpy outfit, housecoat or robe, which I don't wear. She even went as far to buy me corduroy pants one year, which I thought was weird cuz as we all know, pant sizes fit differently & yes, they didn't fit. The funny thing is my sister-in-law never gets clothes. She is the more fashion conscious member of the family so maybe MIL feels threatened. I know we can return them, but you know how that goes, the clothes get pushed in a drawer & forgotten about. I wish MIL would do as my mother does - she just tells my sister & me to pick something out & she reimburses us. May take the surprise out of it, but we are adults now& don't need the surprise factor & we get something we like. Can't wait to see what this Christmas brings.

[zenme]

I wish I had a mother-in-law like you guys. Mine complains 24/7 and tells us what she wants for Christmas. If she knows I picked it out she'll complain, but if she thinks my husband did, then she loves the gift and gushes about how her son knows what she likes. I just tell her DH picked out her gift.

[MarysWetBar]

My ex MIL gave me used soap one year at Xmas.You know those fragrant little soaps in the shape of seashells or butterflies that ppl used to put in baskets in the washroom or stuff in their underwear drawers? I got those one year. .dust on them. .and they had either gotten wet or melted somehow in places..as the design was worn off. I laughed until i cried but thanked her graciously. (cus i was brought up by a normal mother).

Another story that never fails to amuse is the time my new husband forgot my birthday until my mom reminded him. It was after six the night of my birthday. .stores all closed except little corner store that had a rack of old dusty cards in plastic. .remember those? He runs to the store. .proudly hands me this old yellowed card...it has a cross on the front of it with a little pathway in dirt and the words "Across the miles at Easter..to someone who is like family to me. "

My birthday is December 20.

Another time i laughed my ass off and i still have that card and show it to my sons every so often.

They say "no wonder you ended up divorced."

But i actually keep it cus it reminds me of a time early in our marriage when i still adored him and his dumbass ways! Haha

Edited November 7, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[Almost 3000]

I love the MIL gift stories and MIL stories in general. I can't point to one thing but my ex MIL could have been the inspiration for Marie Barone the mom on Everyone Loves Raymond. I married her youngest and favored son and yes she would even say that loud and proud in front of the other two sons.

[RedPonyDriver]

there are 2 songs that make me weepy..."House At Pooh Corner" and "Centerfield". The first one I sang to my children when they were little, and the second was my older son's favorite song when he played little league baseball. Fortunately, I've managed to pull it together for "House At Pooh Corner" and sing it to my grandson. 

[emma675]

I made it through surgery and without being violently ill this time from the anesthesia! My neck is incredibly swollen and splotchy and I have an inch long incision right in the middle of my old thyroid scar, but I feel okay this time. Now just waiting on the pathology results, which I will admit, scares me a little. My parents actually went home this morning because I'm feeling so well and getting around okay. But I won't be able to drive for a few days, so I'll be home bound for a little while. But I'm the exact opposite of HappyFatChick and I love being alone, lol, so I'm okay with that.

[queenanne]

One year in my late teens, I got; socks sized for a child; an ugly marled sweater comprised of all the colors that look hideous on someone of my coloring (when I went to return it, tagless, to the store from which it was purchased, it was displayed in piles of dozens on a huge trestle table the length of the entire front of the store; $10); an ugly hideous turtleneck with flags patterned after all the flags of Communist countries, except the colors were all muddled ($6 return at Kmart type regional store); two matronly blouses (one workable, the other flat-out ugly and with a Peter Pan collar; UGH I hate Peter Pan collars).  These atrocities were, puzzlingly, accompanied by a pretty nice set of fake pearls, the latter of which was given to me by the gifter because, in her words, “you’re getting to be a grown woman and should have a grown-up present.”  ??? 

 

My mother was so upset.  “Do you know the contortions I go through to make sure I get these people presents I know they will like?”  (I do know the contortions well, having been asked to accompany her on many a past shopping trip and fielding six or seven iterations of the same question.  “Do you think they will REALLY like it?”)  And then they go shopping for us at the bargain basement.

 

One year my sister went to her hairdresser and heard the woman ahead of her, complaining because for Christmas, her boyfriend had given her a brick of cheese.

Edited November 7, 2015 by queenanne

[springtime]

My ex MIL gave me used soap one year at Xmas.You know those fragrant little soaps in the shape of seashells or butterflies that ppl used to put in baskets in the washroom or stuff in their underwear drawers? I got those one year. .dust on them. .and they had either gotten wet or melted somehow in places..as the design was worn off. I laughed until i cried but thanked her graciously. (cus i was brought up by a normal mother).

Another story that never fails to amuse is the time my new husband forgot my birthday until my mom reminded him. It was after six the night of my birthday. .stores all closed except little corner store that had a rack of old dusty cards in plastic. .remember those? He runs to the store. .proudly hands me this old yellowed card...it has a cross on the front of it with a little pathway in dirt and the words "Across the miles at Easter..to someone who is like family to me. "

My birthday is December 20.

Another time i laughed my ass off and i still have that card and show it to my sons every so often.

They say "no wonder you ended up divorced."

But i actually keep it cus it reminds me of a time early in our marriage when i still adored him and his dumbass ways! Haha

While dating- I received a Valentine's Day heart shaped box of chocolates- The sentiment on the box clearly indicated they were for a woman to give to a man!

He wasn't the best reader so it wasn't a biggie-  I never even paired it with the fact that our divorce was final on Valentine's Day!  (until this moment) lol

[ChocolateAddict]

My mum continues to get a series of shit presents from her MIL (my grandmother) including but not limited to

-a weight-watchers voucher 

-a Light'n'Easy voucher (are we seeing a theme here?)

-cleaning books 

-a doorbell because she didn't like ours 

-a pot plant which she wanted and all but asked my mum to give back

-chocolates which she then opens and eats 

 

Just for the record, my mum is not overweight and cleans the house regularly but my grandmother is as subtle as a sledgehammer.  

[neural-plasticity]

My MIL had three boys, so I guess I got lucky because she loves buying clothes for my SIL and me. She actually has pretty good taste, too! In general, though, my husband's family goes all out with Christmas presents. Last year they bought my BIL and SIL brand new leather sofa, love seat, and rocking lounging chair and my husband got his beloved Xbox one (like the boy that he is :) ).

[NextIteration]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

[latetotheparty]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

 

OMG I'm so sorry. *gentle hugs*

[lookeyloo]

OMG I'm so sorry. *gentle hugs*

Oh so sorry!!!

[crazycatlady58]

Nextiteration you have my deepest sympathy.

[Mrs. P.]

I'm in shock, my mom just died. I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses. I'm just lost.

My deepest sympathies...losing one's mother is devastating.

[SomePity1066]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

Oh, my I'm so very sorry. Please know that I'll be thinking of you. 

[bigskygirl]

{{{HUGS}}} I am so sorry.

[wilsie]

I'm so sorry.  My thoughts are with you.

[MargeGunderson]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

My sympathy to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I'm in shock, my mom just died. I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses. I'm just lost.

I'm so sorry. My thoughts go out to you and your family. (HUGS).

[Treehugger]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Sincere condolences.

[Missy Vixen]

Best gift(s). And people will laugh.

 

The best wedding gift we got was a bottle of champagne and some of the curly thermal paper that used to come out of a FAX machine. One of our guests faxed the Wailing Wall in Israel to ask for prayers for our marriage. The FAX would be taken off the machine, folded to fit in the cracks of the wall, and people would remove the paper and pray over the request. We got lots and lots of nice gifts, but that's the only one that made me cry.

 

The best gift I ever got from my husband: He took me to Chicago to see Aretha Franklin live shortly after we were married. I love her. She does not fly. So, off to Chicago we went. We had such a great time.

[Happyfatchick]

Oh nnnnooo Next, I'm (we're so sorry!)  Thoughts, prayers and hugs racing your way! 

[amitville]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

Sending hugs to you I am so very sorry,     

[Happyfatchick]

This (to go along with other inappropriate gifts that came from spouses):

I had children before I married the hubs, and so our first trip through Mother's Day, he was stymied about whether he should provide a personal gift, or a card.

 

At the last possible moment, he decided he'd better get a card and races by WM on his way home.  Of course, the card rack is picked clean. 

 

My card said "Happy First Mother's Day", and on the inside some verse about how special motherhood was going to be.

 

And a note scrawled from him:  Sorry about the card.  It was either this one or Happy Mother's Day from the twins.

[RedPonyDriver]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

I am so sorry...gentle hugs and peace to you and your family. 

[scriggle]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

I'm so sorry. {{{hugs}}}

[Wok Chop]

I was (mercifully) married for only a short time, and my MIL was poor and...odd. She was always referring to me as though I was huge. At that time, I was 5' 10" and a size 14, so I wasn't THAT big. And it's not like she was being critical or bitchy. She was just...odd. So, one Christmas she gave me a pair of cotton candy pink sweat pants in size XXL. LOL She also gave me a dorky T-shirt with Tweetie Bird on it. It was humongous, so I think it may have been a night shirt...maybe?

My "wedding" was also a disaster thanks in part to the weird MIL. It was a quickie deal because I was pregnant, and my ex insisted that we get married. I was young, stupid, and felt trapped, so I agreed. It was supposed to take place at the courthouse, and I did not plan on any type of shindig afterwards. Unbeknownst to me, he and his oddball mother planned a "reception" that was to take place in our new, sparsely furnished apartment. They invited a bunch of his friends and family (including his alcoholic father who had abandoned my ex when he was little, and then showed up to the "reception" drunk with his flamboyant bar floozy wife).

A week before our wedding, the ex informed me of all of this and then generously allotted me TWO invitations to send to my friends/family. LMAO OMG!! I told him no thanks. I knew I was making a huge mistake but I just rolled with it. It was so absurd, I just kinda laughed about it to my best friend. It was July, I was 30-something weeks into my pregnancy, and still working full time IN fast food management. I guess I felt that I deserved that fate for making so many mistakes in my young adult life. LOL

Oh! His mom bought a wedding cake from a grocery store, and any time I saw her after that, she reminded me that she had spent $30.00 on our wedding cake. LOL

[NikSac]

I made it through surgery and without being violently ill this time from the anesthesia! My neck is incredibly swollen and splotchy and I have an inch long incision right in the middle of my old thyroid scar, but I feel okay this time. Now just waiting on the pathology results, which I will admit, scares me a little. My parents actually went home this morning because I'm feeling so well and getting around okay. But I won't be able to drive for a few days, so I'll be home bound for a little while. But I'm the exact opposite of HappyFatChick and I love being alone, lol, so I'm okay with that.

 

So happy you got through it okay and not ill from the anesthesia!  I hope you'll get good pathology results, too.  Hugs to you.

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

 

Oh no!!!  I am so sorry. My heart and sympathies go out to you and everyone who loves your Mom.

[Love2dance]

I made it through surgery and without being violently ill this time from the anesthesia! My neck is incredibly swollen and splotchy and I have an inch long incision right in the middle of my old thyroid scar, but I feel okay this time. Now just waiting on the pathology results, which I will admit, scares me a little. My parents actually went home this morning because I'm feeling so well and getting around okay. But I won't be able to drive for a few days, so I'll be home bound for a little while. But I'm the exact opposite of HappyFatChick and I love being alone, lol, so I'm okay with that.

Thanks for letting us know. Wishing you continued easy recouperation and good results. Hugs!

Edited November 8, 2015 by Love2dance

[Love2dance]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

So very sorry, NEXTITERATION. I hope loved ones are with you to give you comfort. Gentle, but long, hugs from me to you.

[Wok Chop]

NextIteration, I am so sorry for your loss.

[GeeGolly]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

So, so sorry for your loss! Many {{{HUGS}}}

[kalamac]

I'm sorry for you NextIteration, hope you get through everything okay.

[Absolom]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

I'm so sorry.  Take care of yourself.

[Ownedbydogs]

I am so sorry for your loss NextIteration. You and your loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Readalot]

NEXT, I'm so sorry for your loss of your mother, please don't forget to take care of yourself during this surreal time. EMMA675, sorry to hear about your reactions, they are a bitch! I hope for a quick and complete recovery for you and I hope your dr has good news for you.

[CooMan]

My MIL loves to buy cheap, decorated t shirts for the family. Her sons are all avid fishermen. So one year, BIL got a t shirt with a picture of a fish hooked on a rod, cleverly captioned "Master Baiter."

[Twopper]

 

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

Hugs!  I am so sorry about your loss.

[zoomama]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

 

knowing personally the pain of this loss, you have my deepest sympathies.

[zenme]

NextIteration, I'm sorry for your loss. Please take a few minutes for yourself and get your head together. The next few days are going to be busy. You're going to somehow get through this and you're going to be ok, and we're all here if you need to vent. Cyber hugs to you.

[Liz Tudor]

I'm in shock, my mom just died.  I've misplaced my phone and my sunglasses.  I'm just lost.

So very, very sorry, Next. Thinking of you, now and in the days to come.

[IOU Payne]

Next, I'm so sorry for your loss.  ((((Huge hugs))))  I'll be thinking of you.  Please take care of yourself.

[Wellfleet]

So very sorry to hear about your Mom, Next. Be good to yourself in the next few weeks. Try to remember the things that make you smile...

[Jordan Baker]

I am so sorry for your loss, Next.

[NextIteration]

Thank you all.  My mom had said on Monday that she just couldn't mount another fight (go through transition and rehab) and asked to be moved to a single room in a hospice.  There was some back and forth through the week but we found a bed for her on Wednesday, were unable to transport her on Thursday she was having such a bad day, but move her on Friday.  She had a terrible night, I got a call at 7:30 asking permission to give her additional pain medications, to which I said yes and raced the hour to get there.  She was gone by 11:30.

 

I am now a big believer that hospice care givers are angels from heaven (I knew this but forgot), and when they tell you that a person has entered the dying process, they know their business.

 

It probably sounds silly, but this is very odd and unhinged feeling, not having any parents at what I feel like is a pretty young age of 53.

[springtime]

This years version of the easy bake oven is a Girl Scout Cookie model-

On sale this week in the Target flier for $49!  (original  price is $59)

Glad my kids are grown- Who can afford toys?

 

Wonder how much The Suzy Homemaker one (the oven we had) cost back in the 60s! lol

[wilsie]

 

I am now a big believer that hospice care givers are angels from heaven (I knew this but forgot), and when they tell you that a person has entered the dying process, they know their business.

 

It probably sounds silly, but this is very odd and unhinged feeling, not having any parents at what I feel like is a pretty young age of 53.

Nextliteration, it doesn't seem silly at all.  It's a process losing a parent at any age.  Whatever you feel is right for you.  And the hospice caregivers really are the best.  Take care of yourself.  I hope you have peace and a lot of love surround you.

[Chicklet]

I'm sorry for your loss NextIteration but it sounds like your mom went comfortably.

After my 3 funerals in 2 weeks last month I know that hospices are amazing organizations. They managed my crazed fundie sisters-in-law with aplomb and compassion even when they insisted on insane things. They actually refused to do the insane things they asked but in such a way that they didn't even know they were turned down.

It takes a lot of humanity to deal with death every day and I'm glad there are lots of people who are willing to do so.

[NextIteration]

Wonder how much The Suzy Homemaker one (the oven we had) cost back in the 60s! lol

 

That's what I had too!  And I always felt like I got the better deal over the Easy Bake Oven owners. ;)

 

The one and only time I ever shopped on Black Friday, I was about eight months pregnant with my son.  Money was tight because we were saving for the blessed unpaid maternity leave, so I sat up late Thanksgiving night and mapped out my plan and coupons for "matching prices" and headed over to Toys R Us at 5 a.m.  My daughter was three so it was her year for the big Kitchen.  I was in and out of there with my haul in about an hour, it's helpful to be hugely pregnant, people don't try to mow you over and they will even help you get the huge boxes down, lol.