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S05.E12: Compromising Positions


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Angela and Mykull: No one cares about the flowers the bride carries. Most won't even care about the dress - they'll just say that the bride had a nice dress. Food is king and people will remember a good meal. Screaming at Mykull is what he is in for as long as the days of your lives you last. The long con must be getting exhausted. His friends taking both of you to that dance club with strippers and pretty women was a bad idea. Ange, you looked like walking Pepto Bismol. I was a bit envious of the women who could train their tushes.

Kalani and Asuelu: The Oregon trip is now over. Kalani, you are right in that no Valentine's gift to you will be appreciated if your husband behaved poorly on the day before. Every day is Valentine's Day and you don't need balloons or anything that day. The two of you have significant marriage problems and may need to work with a counsellor to help communicate and see if you can salvage your relationship and being the bank of Family Asuelu.

Colt and Jess: So, you have been sending intimate photos of yourself to other women - 8 at least. Jess is really good at social media stuff. Colt, learn to be discreet. You met her at the cat rescue cafe and not the airport. Again, no flowers. Jess comes over and surprise, Vanessa is living with you and your mom. Your mom did her very best to keep a straight face. She doesn't like Jess and will do anything to get rid of her. You have been a bad boyfriend but you seem to be like that with any women that comes between you and your mom.

Larissa and Ericee: Ericee, you will be funding Larissa's surgery and other improvements for many years to come. The plastic surgeon was looking to make as much money as he can from her. And from being on the show, which may bring him more clients. Nothing seems right with Larissa and she is looking at surgery to make her into something she likes. More like inner work is needed and not to think that being a walking blow up doll will make her happy. Nothing wrong with her nose and there are men and women who would benefit from plastic surgery to fix defects, have reconstruction surgery after cancer, etc. Her surgeon should have sent her to a psychologist first for evaluation. Nose and boobies now, liposuction and fat injection in to her butt, and then what. Suctioning out her thighs and arms? The buck has to stop somewhere.

Andrei and Libby: The winestomping seemed fun. Although I probably would have washed my feet. I would think that nothing will really contaminate the grapes. Hopefully they could buy some previously made bottles of wine. I hope that Andrei would have told his friends to tell the most amazing and unbelievable story to Libby's family if they contacted them. So he could have a good laugh. He has been married to Libby for a couple of years, has no arrests or anything in the US. If he wished to share with Lib's family about his life, he would do so.

Karine and Paul: Karine, do be careful around your husband. He still holds most of the cards. You can't just go back to Brazil with your son. Paul does have parental rights and you do need some sort of permission to take your kid out of the country. You may be facing some very serious consequences if you just run off. Hopefully the lawyer put you in touch with various social services - and a Portuguese translator - to help you. Maybe put on a women's shelter phone number on your phone (disguised, of course) and gave you some social service resources for you to seek help if needed.

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How effing stupid is Jen? Yeah, you make wine and drink it the same day. I bet she totally thought China and Japan are the same country. I wanna smack her crooked teeth straight. I feel like we’ve been stuck in the same storyline for an entire season: “What is Andrei hiding??” Update: it’s nothing. 
 

I didn’t know Karine could work as a permanent resident. Her English isn’t great but can’t she get a job if Paul is that unemployable? Couldn’t she stock shelves or pump gas or work in a Brazilian restaurant or something? She is so unhappy and it’s actually quite unnerving seeing her like this. Paul and Karine’s translator app is far superior to Deavan’s. 
 

I’ve never seen anyone more browbeaten than Michael. It’s like his soul has left his body. I could feel his palpable anxiety when that lady started shaking her buttocks and he stole a glance. I guess Michael only got enough Viagra for one session of sex. Man, Angela yelling about Michael while he was in the front seat was just the height of rudeness. I don’t expect much from her but she seems to really enjoy humiliating him more than ever. His demeanor is like that of a beaten dog and he seems more and more cowed every episode. 
 

Colt and Jess seemed like they were barely containing their smiles. I did enjoy his flirtation with his mother, who he seemed to have more chemistry with than his girlfriend. 

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2 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

I’m remembering her going to consult on the outdoor goofy theme shindig.

Oh that's right; that place was great.  He was going to arrange a goat or something as well.  I am so sorry we are being gypped out of that venue!

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In the previews for next week, Libby confronts Andrei about his past and says, “we’re getting married tomorrow!” For the last time Libby, YOU TWO ARE ALREADY MARRIED! 

Edited by magemaud
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Chack and Sharlie need to build a bridge and get over it. This bunch is so trashy and ignorant it beggars belief. I am going to need a liver transplant if i take a drink every time Libby utters the "f" word, and not the one that gets bleeped on tv, but the one that starts with "my". I am terrified that all of this may be leading up to a spin off.  

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So Asuelo and Kalani fight, he goes to stay with his family and she feels the need to leave their paid rental accommodation to check into a hotel?  Then he shows up with helium balloons a couple of hours before they are getting on a plane.  That's a lot of cans of Samoan Spam they could have bought.  

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Erikee did a heck of a good impression of Larissa talking.  Dude is in this only for his Only Fans money. 
The Andrei storyline...so fake for the show. It drags on and on.  I wish he would snap and ask Chuck and Chucklet about their own records, on camera.  Equalizer.  Totally gunning for their own show.  No way would Andrei’s friend agree to meet without telling Andrei.  
When the previews showed Pole bringing Karine to the water treatment plant, I thought “that’s where he will dump her body.”   I am truly alarmed for her.  

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Not that it's any excuse for the appalling behavior Family Elizabeth is displaying n Moldova,  but I could understand wanting to get to know the person your child/sibling is considering as a spouse.  However, Elizabeth and Andrei are already freaking married. For 2+ years, in fact. With a baby!  So for fuck's sake, sit down and just shut it, because that ship has sailed.

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Wait! What?  Michael's family is footing the bill for this thing?  Angela's in her 50's, second marriage, etc.  Why isn't she buying her own flowers? We're not talking about some young woman just starting out - pay for your own wedding, or at least the overages if Michael's family has graciously offered to chip in.

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1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

Erikee did a heck of a good impression of Larissa talking.  Dude is in this only for his Only Fans money. 
The Andrei storyline...so fake for the show. It drags on and on.  I wish he would snap and ask Chuck and Chucklet about their own records, on camera.  Equalizer.  Totally gunning for their own show.  No way would Andrei’s friend agree to meet without telling Andrei.  
When the previews showed Pole bringing Karine to the water treatment plant, I thought “that’s where he will dump her body.”   I am truly alarmed for her.  

OMG, I thought the same thing.  I was seriously thinking he was threatening her with, "I will leave you here and no one will find you if you try to leave me."

2 hours ago, Quof said:

So Asuelo and Kalani fight, he goes to stay with his family and she feels the need to leave their paid rental accommodation to check into a hotel?  Then he shows up with helium balloons a couple of hours before they are getting on a plane.  That's a lot of cans of Samoan Spam they could have bought.  

I was confused too.  Didn't she say something out changing their flight or something and sister went back as scheduled?  If their days in the rental (which was supposedly haunted) were up, then that would make sense as to why she had to get a hotel.

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2 hours ago, Quof said:

So Asuelo and Kalani fight, he goes to stay with his family and she feels the need to leave their paid rental accommodation to check into a hotel?  Then he shows up with helium balloons a couple of hours before they are getting on a plane.  That's a lot of cans of Samoan Spam they could have bought.  

At first I thought maybe she was afraid to be alone without him in the house because of the ghost who visits when you poop.  But then I figured maybe they were supposed to travel back the evening of the fight so they did not have the house booked for that night.  She said she changed her flight so maybe she pushed it to the next day.  I assume she wanted Asuelu there if at all possible because there were car rides on both ends of the flight and if she drove she couldn’t tend to the kids.

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54 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

Did the Dr. really tell Larissa she has a sexy butt?  That was really creepy.  Also, Larissa is inching closer to Madame puppet.

scaled.arts_madame_cl_t318.jpg?35f122e0f  

Larissa is not self aware enough to wear one of Madam’s discarded boas.

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Surely TLC isn’t paying for Larissa’s big boobies?  We know Erikee isn’t.

I realize we’re fed contrived drama, but I’m confused re timelines. Were the balloons for Valentine’s Day 2020?  Kalani said the marriage is over, so when did they film the pillow talk segments? They seemed happy then... same with Andrrrrei and Libby, they even invited sis Jen on the bed and all seemed to get along fine.

Kariney cannot take their son out of the country without the father’s consent.  I’m assuming a legal letter or something? But Pole needs to let her go. She has family and familiar surroundings there. Also, do the dogs ever leave their cage or are they just a TLC storyline prop?

Angela is over the top ridiculous, however she should pair up with the bra lady on pillow talk (forget her name) and design a bra line with pockets, clips, hooks to tote necessities  - cigarettes, keys, money, phone.. etc. 🤣😂
 

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13 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

Surely TLC isn’t paying for Larissa’s big boobies?  We know Erikee isn’t.

I realize we’re fed contrived drama, but I’m confused re timelines. Were the balloons for Valentine’s Day 2020?  Kalani said the marriage is over, so when did they film the pillow talk segments? They seemed happy then... same with Andrrrrei and Libby, they even invited sis Jen on the bed and all seemed to get along fine.

Kariney cannot take their son out of the country without the father’s consent.  I’m assuming a legal letter or something? But Pole needs to let her go. She has family and familiar surroundings there. Also, do the dogs ever leave their cage or are they just a TLC storyline prop?

Angela is over the top ridiculous, however she should pair up with the bra lady on pillow talk (forget her name) and design a bra line with pockets, clips, hooks to tote necessities  - cigarettes, keys, money, phone.. etc. 🤣😂
 

I wondered if TLC was doing it and making Erickee go along with making it look like he shelling out the money.  Otherwise, I can't believe that someone she considers "Sheepee" would shell out money for someone who will likely not last much longer in the relationship. 

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The Kentucky Tourism Bureau must have used their influence to make sure that the state's best attractions are featured on the show.

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I captured Clot's smiling eyes after he revealed to Jess that he's living with Vanessa, for your weighing and consideration. 

20200831_094730.jpg

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Maybe it's hormones but I cried twice during this episode. 

First I cried when Karine was silently weeping and rejecting Pole's attempts at holding her. I believe he is criminally insane, unhinged and dangerous. He cannot find work. He will live on disability the rest of his life, and that's OK. Karine made a strategic error. She should have pretended to be reasonably happy, love the house and America, and announce she needs to head back to Brazil temporarily for some made up reason.

And then cut all contact completely.

I realize Pole has rights as a father but he will kill them both if they stay.

Then I cried when Kalani said she doesn't want to be married anymore. My heart sank. They are both good people and they both try very hard. They are also both responsible for some of the issues. Kalama needs to be more accepting that Asuelu won't always exactly say what she thinks he should say. I hope therapy works out. Paging Dr Kirk Honda!

Edited by Burning Rubber
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I agree that Pole is dangerously insane.   He's an ID channel episode that is going to happen someday.     I find it bizarre that a man who hasn't had a real job in years, has an extensive criminal record, and conviction thinks he can wage a huge custody battle in Brazilian courts.   Who is going to finance the legal and travel costs?      He is such an abusive control freak.    I was terrified for Karine  when she made the mistake of telling Pole she wants to go back to Brazil.   Someday Pole's savings, and TLC money will run out, and then what happens to the "wonderful life" that Pole claims they'll have in the U.S.?    I suspect he's not going to get funds for an attorney, unless his mother finances one to get Pierre away from Karine.  

I suspect the only thing keeping Karine and Pierre safe are the cameras filming them.   I hate to think how isolated Karine would be totally under Pole's control.  

The airport with Kalani, and Asuelu was absurd.   He's taking two suitcases, and she has a suitcase, and the wagon with both boys.   Asuelu's original idea was he would take one suitcase, and Kalani would have two suitcases and the wagon?   That's ridiculous   

I never want to hear about Larissa's plastic surgery, or that phony relationship of hers, or Colt-ee's pictures of his tiny equipment.  Libby and Andrei, and her entire family should just go away. 

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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Watching the Karine/Paul scenes were super hard. My ex husband was the same way. You want to have a grown up conversation and he started about his rights and how he will prosecute, etc. Then he goes in for the love. I feel poor Karine missed her opportunity to flee from Paul. She should have been quiet about where she went and gotten her parents to send her tickets to fly back to Brazil with the baby. In Brazil she has a support system and the upper hand over crazy Paul.   Gawd, I hate Sharp for exploiting this situation.

Angela is another abuser.  Poor Micheal, she has his balls in her purse.  Don't look at other women, my bouquet is important over the food, I don't trust him, blah blah blah.  You don't marry someone who you have trust issues.

Libby and family are boring. The reason why Andrei left is so boring and these yahoos are making such a mountain out of a molehill.  Andrei should have taken back the barrels of crushed grape juice and brought out a bottle of wine a hour later and tell Jenn here's the wine you guys made!  She's so stupid.

 

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I’m no lawyer... and of course all this was filmed before the pandemic... but I agree that Kariney needs to get away from Pole.  What happens when production and camera crew leave for the day? It’s scary.

Would TLC arrange her flight home? They must see something is wrong with Pole. Their story should not be for entertainment.

I realize this was filmed months ago, but I hope they got away from him. Imagine being in lockdown with Pole 😱

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11 hours ago, suzywallis said:

However, if Karine manages to leave, and never come back, then what is Pole going to do?    It would cost a whole lot of money to fight a court case in Brazil, and I'm hoping that someone in Brazil saw footage of Pole, and his complete record of stalking, and his convictions, and ban him from the country

I was LOL when Pole threatened to follow her to Brazil and bring criminal charges. Like I'm sure that the guy who was denied a visa would have a lot of standing in the eyes of the Brazilian court. Not to mention the money. He can't afford dog food, much less to hire a lawyer in teh US and Brazil. 

I agree there is psychopathy going on with Pole. Of course now Karine is away from him now. But jeez, he is scary with the cameras running. I can't imagine how he is with the camera off. TLC needs to help Karine and stop bankrolling Pole. 

1 minute ago, SerenityNow721 said:

There is just no couple left to root for.  I think I’ll stick to watching Pillow Talk to get the gist without having to watch the actual show. 

Karine and Pierre are the couple I'm rooting for

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I still do not understand what Angela's issue was. Let me first say that I think taking her to a strip club was the worst decision ever. But I still don't understand what her issue was. He looked at a dancer's butt, and not even a naked butt. I don't find it disrespectful at all. I have never minded if my husband went to strip clubs for bachelor parties.  Angela was the same way with the translater, telling her to look at Angela and not Micheal. If she is that insecure she shouldn't get married. 

 

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35 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Andrei should have taken back the barrels of crushed grape juice and brought out a bottle of wine a hour later and tell Jenn here's the wine you guys made! 

Like those talk show cooking segments where they put the dish in the oven and pull out a fully baked one.

I don’t know why Pole thinks their options are better in the US if he is basically unemployable in either place.  He just prefers his home culture.  And thought mom would let him mooch.

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12 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I suspect that the attorney telling Karine to leave with Pierrey to Brazil against Pole's wishes would get the attorney in serious trouble with the court.    She's an officer of the court, and advice like that would be a big no-no.  

However, if Karine manages to leave, and never come back, then what is Pole going to do?    It would cost a whole lot of money to fight a court case in Brazil, and I'm hoping that someone in Brazil saw footage of Pole, and his complete record of stalking, and his convictions, and ban him from the country.   I'm not sure Karine would be allowed to take Pierre with her against Pole's wishes.   

 

I fear that Pole would do whatever he needed to get a ticket to Brazil and make sure that Karine is never seen again.  Then he'd return to the states with Pierre.

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11 hours ago, alotmorestupider said:

How effing stupid is Jen? Yeah, you make wine and drink it the same day. I bet she totally thought China and Japan are the same country.

I'm sure all her wine comes from a box, so she has no idea about how things are made.

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21 minutes ago, BravoAddict72 said:

I still do not understand what Angela's issue was. Let me first say that I think taking her to a strip club was the worst decision ever. But I still don't understand what her issue was. He looked at a dancer's butt, and not even a naked butt. I don't find it disrespectful at all. I have never minded if my husband went to strip clubs for bachelor parties.  Angela was the same way with the translater, telling her to look at Angela and not Micheal. If she is that insecure she shouldn't get married. 

 

I think if she is so insecure she should not marry someone who will live so far away and not being able to control what his eyes see.  Dumbest thing ever, she gets pissed at him glancing around the room. If she really feels inadequate she should not be interested in 30 year old men, it will only make her feel older.

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1 minute ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I think if she is so insecure she should not marry someone who will live so far away and not being able to control what his eyes see.  Dumbest thing ever, she gets pissed at him glancing around the room. If she really feels inadequate she should not be interested in 30 year old men, it will only make her feel older.

If it wasn't Angela, I'd be asking what is it about HER that makes her feel so insecure, threatened, etc that she must control her partner's every look and action? But it's Angela. So nevermind

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3 hours ago, Chloe Dog said:

Wait! What?  Michael's family is footing the bill for this thing?  Angela's in her 50's, second marriage, etc.  Why isn't she buying her own flowers? We're not talking about some young woman just starting out - pay for your own wedding, or at least the overages if Michael's family has graciously offered to chip in.

Well, Angela is a lot of things but gracious is not one of them.  Let's not forget we are dealing with TLC, who knows if Michael's family are really paying for the wedding or not.  $95 for a bouquet of fake flowers is crazy but on the other hand, it would make a nice gift to Michael's mother, a token for her to remember the day. 

Angela should have just paid for her flowers, you know reached deep down in her boob wallet and gotten some smelly crumpled money and paid for her flowers.

 

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17 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I'm sure all her wine comes from a box, so she has no idea about how things are made.

Which she buys by the pallet at Costco.

40 minutes ago, SerenityNow721 said:

There is just no couple left to root for.  I think I’ll stick to watching Pillow Talk to get the gist without having to watch the actual show. 

I've pretty much made this decision, too.  I DVR'd it last night so I could speed through the commercials.  When I looked at it on my list and saw that it was two hours, I turned to hubby and said, "We're in our 70s.  We don't need to waste another MINUTE watching these losers, much less two hours."

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3 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Which she buys by the pallet at Costco

I find the revealing of the true nature of Family Libby has been quite telling. Despite their mcmansion, they are pretty much ignorant. 

Edited by poeticlicensed
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6 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I find the revealing of the true nature of Family Libby has been quite telling. Despite their mcmansion, they are pretty much ignorant. 

To be honest, we buy our wine at Costco (or Sam's), and I have NO problem with people who want to buy boxed wine.  I've heard that some of it is pretty good.

But . . . 

In spite of coming from lower blue-collar backgrounds, Mr. AZC and I have been to Europe four times and have tried to be NON-ugly Americans.   We've seen some ugly Americans in action first-hand, and are surprised at how differently we have been treated by the French and English when we treat them politely by recognizing and respecting their different way of life (currency, etc.).

You can develop class and good manners - IF you want to.  But step one is to recognize when you don't have either . . . like the entire Potthast clan.

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6 hours ago, Quof said:

So Asuelo and Kalani fight, he goes to stay with his family and she feels the need to leave their paid rental accommodation to check into a hotel?  Then he shows up with helium balloons a couple of hours before they are getting on a plane.  That's a lot of cans of Samoan Spam they could have bought.  

This was truly the worst Oregon trip since my children taught me how to play The Oregon Trail on our old Apple IIC computer!

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14 hours ago, suzywallis said:

But in his defense, it was kind of hard to miss!   Butt up in the air, jiggling all over the place! 

It's a strip club, of course he's going to look.  Angela's control issues are ridiculous.  Most women wouldn't care as long as that's all their man did.  some would even make a game of it, foreplay for later.  It's not like he went up to the girl and started talking to her and slipping her bills.

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This show is getting depressing.  Paul telling Karine he's given her everything while he's sitting in front of windows with black garbage bags taped to them.  He acts all lovey dove and "sorry sweetheart" when there's people and cameras around, I bet he isn't like that when they're alone. 

Angela used to be entertaining.  This season she's almost unwatchable.  Every single scene ends with her being pissed off and yelling at Michael and verbally abusing him.  In that last interview with him right after the club he looked like a hostage victim.  I don't understand why he's putting himself through this.  Once she gets him here it's going to be 10 times worse, I hope he realizes that.

Family Libby is this their entire story for the season?  Will they be grilling Andrei on the day of the wedding too?

I can't with Larissa and her bullshit with all her plastic surgery. 

 

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59 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I find the revealing of the true nature of Family Libby has been quite telling. Despite their mcmansion, they are pretty much ignorant. 

That is pretty much the case for all people who live In McMansions!

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1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Well, Angela is a lot of things but gracious is not one of them.  Let's not forget we are dealing with TLC, who knows if Michael's family are really paying for the wedding or not.  $95 for a bouquet of fake flowers is crazy but on the other hand, it would make a nice gift to Michael's mother, a token for her to remember the day. 

Angela should have just paid for her flowers, you know reached deep down in her boob wallet and gotten some smelly crumpled money and paid for her flowers.

 

Now that you say that . . .

That's exactly what she did when she bought Michael's mother the microwave.  But, she negotiated it down from $100, which is all she had, to much less.  And, she bought it from a store that looked like an appliance stand.  But, for Angela herself, she went to a brick-and-mortar florist in a more urban area, was presented with two price levels and chose the more costly.  Michael's mother may inherit the bouquet by default, since Angela won't be able to get it through customs.  (I think we see her tossing the bouquet in a preview.)

I think that the market had flowers, near the goats' heads.  But, Angela's so classy and all about Angela.

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3 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

Angela is over the top ridiculous, however she should pair up with the bra lady on pillow talk (forget her name) and design a bra line with pockets, clips, hooks to tote necessities  - cigarettes, keys, money, phone.. etc. 🤣😂
 

Molly mentioned on PT last night that she's received SM suggestions that she should design a multi-purpose bra for Angela.

As others have mentioned, I've had my fill of these dislikeable people, and I can only bear to watch PT.  I don't need a very depressing series in my life!

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14 hours ago, magemaud said:

“Are we drinking the wine we make?”

Sure, Jenn, the finest wines age for at least fifteen MINUTES. 

Charlie saying that there’s so many pretty girls in Moldova is like he’s saying “Why did you marry my dough faced sister?” 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, so true! "Gee, so many pretty girls here!" Why yes, Charlie. People leave their homes every day for new adventures, regardless of the relative attractiveness of the inhabitants. What the hell was that even supposed to mean? 

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21 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I'm seriously hoping that when Family Libby finds out why Andrei left Moldova it's going to be a reason that makes them feel like real assholes. 

And if he had a mugshot or criminal record, even from a foreign country it would long ago have been found and posted on reality TV show sites. Like YOURS are, Chuck and Charlie! I literally keep making punching motions at the screen when they're on, especially punk-ass bitch Charlie. It takes a lot for this quiet, laid-back, 56-year-old woman to get to that point. Congratulations, Charlie. You broke Scout Finch.

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21 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I'm seriously hoping that when Family Libby finds out why Andrei left Moldova it's going to be a reason that makes them feel like real assholes. 

I don't think family Libby know how to feel shame or embarassment.  

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