S24.E05: Week 5 - Costa Rica

[tennisgurl]

“Is this a joke?” We’ve got us yet another sentence to define the season! 

Damn it, we don’t care about Peter being a wiener, we WILL have a cocktail party! Seriously Pete, just let them have their party! 

[GracieK]

It’s like Peter is trying to convince Kelley to join a cult.. only he’s no Tom Cruise. I don’t know why Kelley accepted his rose.. she’s not even enjoying the vacation. 

[tennisgurl]

If I’m going down, I’m taking all of you with me! 

Ok, this is the best part of the episode. 

[seasons]

1 hour ago, tennisgurl said:

Is Peter literally six? He keeps tattling on different girls to each other.

And the way he says he doesn't want to "say bye" like a freaking toddler.

Great. A clumsy pilot.

This dude can't handle conflict. Cancelled another event. He is a man-child. Doesn't make for a great life partner.

[shouldbedancing]

Has Peter kissed Natasha yet?

[Kiss my mutt]

So I guess the secret into throw a Hail Mary and you get to stay. I will miss Shiann. 

[luvbadtv]

1 hour ago, TheFinalRose said:

Peter: Duh, I liked you on the date.

Girl 1: Oh gosh, group dates are so hard! (Total time elapsed 20 seconds.)

Peter: Come here. Kissing/hugging ensues for next five minutes. 

Peter: I see a future with you.

Girl 2. Me too. (time elapsed 15 seconds.

Peter: Come here. Kissing/hugging ensues for next five minutes.

Girl 3: I'm scared, this is hard for me.

Peter: I'm glad you're here. (time elapsed 10 seconds).

Peter: Come here. Kissing/hugging ensues for next five minutes. 

BORING.

Did you write the SNL skit from last week?  Here's the link:

 

https://deadline.com/2020/02/snl-meet-pilot-hunk-hes-the-bachelor-with-extra-baggage-1202849141/

[Madding crowd]

Peter seems like he is scared to death to be there. He looks sweaty and nervous and can’t express himself besides kissing. He is all over the gossip like an old fish wife. There is nothing appealing about him to me. I’m not sure any of the women really want him.

[Sessa]

I just want to say like, it’s so hard you know? It’s like hard. Like to see Peter with other women like that’s hard you know? This process is just so like difficult, and Peter is such an amazing guy , and like you know, and I’m falling in love, like I’ve never felt like this before and it’s so hard. Like, “dabs tears”  like I didn’t know it would be so like hard to see Peter who is SO great, not see who I am, like inside. Everyone but me is so like, fake, and like not real, except me, and like I need Peter to see that, you know? Did I mention how wonderful Peter is and how I’m falling in love? Like, ya know? You all get what I’m saying right?  Like it’s hard, so hard. Like I’m the only one here for like the right reasons you know? Peter doesn’t see it but like, I do. And I know Peter really like, understands me and my difficult upbringing because of “insert sad childhood facts”. And it’s so like hard, being the only one here who is mentally stable and like, really falling in love, you know? And it’s so like, frustrating to not get the time with Peter I need to at least make it to the top 2 or 3. I’m sorry I meant to not have the time for Peter and I to like, fall in love. Because he is SO amazing. But just because I like, cry for hours at a time over a man I barely know doesn’t make me unstable ok? Like how dare you! Ya know?  Does anyone know like, when they choose the next Bachelorette....

[SallyAlbright]

Madison and Hannah Ann up on the balcony made me laugh. "Is someone yelling? Is someone crying? Oh God..."

 

They both just sounded so exhausted by it and it made me like them a little better for staying out of it. Natasha seems funny too. The rest are horrible, especially Peter. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Wow! It’s back on Wednesday, I’m going to have to chose between this or MAFS. 

[SassyCat]

I've got nothing. I'm beginning to question my decision. To watch this. I knew I didn't want to when they announced who would be the new bachelor. Peter the non hot boring, intellectual conversation deficient, tiny toddler face in a tall mans head, guy. The majority of these women are just absolutely ridiculous. New respect for Kelly that she's not into playing a stupid role part. 

This season is way worse than I could have imagined. I am so NOT entertained.

[meatball77]

I'm entertained.  The who said I'm an emotional drunk mess arguments were hysterical and the reactions by the other girls were as good as the argument.  Their laughing during the argument and one of the girls said "did you really see that?"

[nutty1]

2 more hours Wednesday. I don’t know if I can handle it! 

[Ripley68]

Thank goodness these women are cray cray, because otherwise this season would be a complete wash out. Mckenna, Kelsie, Tammy and Sydney are psycho gold (though Tammy wasn't on that list till the end of tonight).  Victoria P looks like the pretty princess who is secretly the evil queen, and Victoria F is the mustache twirling melodramatic villain - her expressions are just so calculating.

[Arkay]

What a shit-show. This is what happens when the main character has the spine of a wet noodle and the brain of a marshmallow. Or vice-versa. 

Disappointed in Kelly's constant use of "like." For a lawyer, she is utterly inarticulate, has no poker face and does a poor job of trying to talk her way out of a situation. If she didn't work for Daddy, I can't see her truly being employed in the legal field. 

I thought I liked Tammy but she was off the wall tonight, and very out of line when she decided to tattle under the guise of caring about Kelsey.. I appreciate Lexi telling her she was wrong to bring up someone's medications, and I wish she had stayed.

Mykenna. Put your tongue back inside your mouth and chill out. 

Edited February 4, 2020 by Arkay

[Riplet68]

Im out till hometowns, maybe overnights. I finally caved and went to reality steve.  I should have stayed with my initial aversion and not started watching 2nd episode

[Cindyluwho]

Cant believe I wasted 3 freaking  hours on this shit show tonight!

[EllenB]

8 minutes ago, Cindyluwho said:

Cant believe I wasted 3 freaking  hours on this shit show tonight!

And you get to watch two more hours Wednesday!  It's all a wicked commie plot to make us all as moronic as Peter by the end of the season.

[angelamh66]

Did anyone else notice the look that briefly flashed across Peter’s face when Kelly flipped the script on him and basically said she was mature and ready for commitment but she didn’t think he was. I think Peter does not like to be challenged like that. He is remarkably immature but so is most of this cast. 

[EssieMay]

Costa Rica is making some of these girls frizz up.

[Haute Messe]

I started out tonight liking Tammy's refreshing honesty. Then she completely lost her mind and I am done with her. 

Mykenna, you are a cute young girl and definitely the most natural looking, but for the love of humanity, please stop crying and put your damn tongue back in your mouth and leave it there.

Kelsey is a manipulative basket case, plain and simple. She can stop the histrionics any time as well. I can't stop looking at her nose and wondering how she can breathe out of those teeny nostrils.

As had been mentioned, Sydney has the worst vocal fry. Maybe she can go hook up with Blake at Stagecoach.

I don't know about Kelly. She seems too chill. I thought somebody with a law degree would be able to speak proper English, but sadly not.

I ff'd through the Cosmo stuff but I think that Victoria F. Is the least attractive of all the girls. She has a real case of RBF. Was she the one that won for sucking face with Pete? 

Somebody last week noted the similarity between Unreal and this show. I think they have started using the actual playbook from that show, except there is no humour in this.

Edited February 4, 2020 by lizajane
Forgot about Victoria

[Arkay]

49 minutes ago, Arkay said:

What a shit-show. This is what happens when the main character has the spine of a wet noodle and the brain of a marshmallow. Or vice-versa. 

Disappointed in Kelly's constant use of "like." For a lawyer, she is utterly inarticulate, has no poker face and does a poor job of trying to talk her way out of a situation. If she didn't work for Daddy, I can't see her truly being employed in the legal field. 

I thought I liked Tammy but she was off the wall tonight, and very out of line when she decided to tattle under the guise of caring about Kelsey.. I appreciate Lexi telling her she was wrong to bring up someone's medications, and I wish she had stayed.

Mykenna. Put your tongue back inside your mouth and chill out. 

ETA some of tonight's vocabulary "finascoes":

From Kelsey: "Supposably" (as a retired English teacher, this is one of the most commonly used non-words), and....did Kelley also say that she tried to be "cordel" when she meant cordial?  This is the first time I've heard that.

[Adeejay]

So, Sydney would have Peter believe she was bullied. If anything I would bet good money that she was the bully. I can’t help but wonder how someone who was the victim of racism and used to eat lunch in a bathroom stall, managed to be Homecoming Queen. This lying bitch probably forgot about that thing call a year book.

Fun fact: Sydney was in the same graduation class as Hannah B. Wonder if they knew each other. 

Edited February 4, 2020 by Adeejay

[Ms Blue Jay]

Did Tammy time travel into this show from the Prohibition era?  hahahahahahahahaahha.  I don't understand what the fuck is going on!!!!

She's obsessed with Kelsey in a really unhealthy way.  My only explanation is she hates Kelsey/is jealous and wants her gone.  I don't understand her preoccupation with her otherwise.

Hannah Ann and Madison have really similar faces.

I think I get Peter's issue with Kelly.  She can't be serious.  She just nervously laughs everything away.   Although he's being a real hardass on her and having these huge standards for her behaviour and it's a little shocking.  I think she doesn't like him.  Or maybe she's just a master manipulator and is good at making him work for it.  See, now he's saying "She challenges me."  Perfect intended result on her behalf.

Sorry, I'm a little behind and haven't finished the ep yet.

I'm on Team Tammy is the Worst.  The cocktail parties are ALWAYS cancelled.  Doesn't everyone know that?  I've never seen them happen?

Edited February 4, 2020 by Ms Blue Jay

[tinkerbell]

Catching up because I worked late:

These women are TRYING to "develop feelings" for Peter.  One of them said she was hoping to spend time with him so she could fall in love with him.   That is what is wrong with this show.  That is not the way relationships work.  You don't have to TRY so hard to fall in love.  Most, if not all, of these women, wouldn't give Peter a second look if they met him outside of this show.  If they met him through a friend or a dating app, they would be bored and refuse a second date.  he's not ugly, but he is devoid of any charm or personality.  

with Sydney -  You were bullied?  what a strong woman!  I can see a future with you!  Let's make out!  

Kelsey's drunk impression of Sydney,  "Ohh! blah blah blah!"  was hilarious.  

a group date which consists of dressing up and getting photographed - they do this every season.  Because having a group of women posing for photos in swimsuits is exactly the best way to find a wife, right? 

 

[Ms Blue Jay]

37 minutes ago, Arkay said:

ETA some of tonight's vocabulary "finascoes":

From Kelsey: "Supposably" (as a retired English teacher, this is one of the most commonly used non-words), and....did Kelley also say that she tried to be "cordel" when she meant cordial?  This is the first time I've heard that.

Tammy said "Uncomfortability".  Instead of, you know, "discomfort".

[EssieMay]

16 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Tammy said "Uncomfortability".  Instead of, you know, "discomfort".

You don’t have to be an English major to be literate. If you read a book or a newspaper once in a while you will develop a decent vocabulary. Oh, that’s right, like literacy? “That’s like literally the last thing on my mind.” Gahhhhhhhh!

[Ms Blue Jay]

I hate how they all pretend to care how each other is doing.  "Are YOU okay?"  And then they go and tell Peter that that woman is on pills or whatever.

 

[tinkerbell]

Peter keeps saying that he has been through this "process"  before, and he knows it works.

Does it, Peter?  As I recall, your experience is that you fall in love with someone, fuck  them in a windmill (4 times!)  and they pick someone else, get engaged, then get un-engaged.  And that is how you know it WORKS?  

[Arkay]

38 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Tammy said "Uncomfortability".  Instead of, you know, "discomfort".

Thank you. It's becoming too much of a chore to keep up with all of it, which I think is my brain going into self-protective mode.

This iteration of the show is so reminiscent of my 25 years of teaching 8th graders. The cattiness between the girls. The tattling. The lack of impulse control.  The down-low attempts to find out what others are saying about you. Peter's out-of-control hormones. Peter's sophomoric sense of humor in crafting a story about a puma attack instead of just saying he'd banged his head. Peter pounding on his chest that he's Tarzan. Over-involved parents, but my students were 13 so that was understood. 

This is definitely The Bachelor: Middle School 

[CrazyDog]

All I can say is...1) these women are crying and losing their shit over...Peter?

And yeah, Kelsey is weepy and all, but seeing McKenna sling her tongue around and apparently lose blood pressure points at every half-assed rose ceremony seems to really put her at the top of the ol' crazy pile. 

Go Shiann, mess with his head on the way out, lol.

He's verging on scaling a wall and fleeing for good.

Another episode this week? Apparently producers want the season to end ASAP too.

[PhysNerd]

When Mykenna swirled her tongue around and stuck it out, I thought she was having a stroke.  

I think these women need to develop a shred of respect and leave.  While not a bad person, Peter is shockingly immature for a man his age.  He acts more like a teenage boy than a man who is pushing 30.  There is no way he is mature enough to date much less marry.  His judgement is shockingly poor.  One of you mentioned earlier that it's scary that he's a pilot and I have to agree.  With such poor judgment, he should not be allowed to operate a plane or a bicycle for that matter.  

Peter needs to take some time to grow up and learn to handle conflict especially since he keeps inserting himself into all of the drama.  He keeps stirring the pot and running when everything goes up in flames.  This is a guy that would make a terrible husband and would probably run home to mommy when his wife is upset. 

Initially, I was surprised that Kelly (the lawyer) was on a show like this.  She seemed mature and well put together.  However, tonight really showed me how ditzy she truly is.  I have no idea how someone actually becomes a lawyer when they have the speech patterns of a teenager.  Good thing she works for daddy because no one else would hire her.

 

 

 

[nlkm9]

He keeps repeating over and over that this process is “beautiful” and it works. I translate that as “I’m still not over Hannah b, you’re all here as a distraction, which is why i say the same crap to everyone to keep you going”. Sadly Hannah b clearly would choose Peter last. The last bachelor person i watched who was clearly not over the previous season was Deanna. Ugh. 

Had Mckenna had a one on one date?

[nutty1]

5 hours ago, CrazyDog said:

He's verging on scaling a wall and fleeing for good.

Except he’d probably fall and break his leg! 

[DEL901]

"Trust the Process, Trust the Process!" they chant every season like it was designed by a bunch of PhD therapists (with a dash of Oprah and Dr. Ruth) who were experts in love and behavioural science, and not a cynical TV producer who only cares about drama and ratings.

Edited February 4, 2020 by DEL901

[JudyObscure]

7 hours ago, EssieMay said:

Costa Rica is making some of these girls frizz up.

It's also making their skin grease up.  

I think Peter likes Kelley because she looks a little like his mother and he has a corny need for a great love story and so he wants to think meeting Kelley before the show was A Sign. The trouble is Kelley just isn't into him.

I'm surprised some people don't think Victoria F is pretty.  To me she's stunning.  I also thought she was mixed-race like Sydney, but the internet says -- definitely not.

I once really thought Victoria P was stunning, too, but now she just seems like a mannequin with the same stiff expression all the time.

MyKenna may have a pretty girl hiding behind the hair glued to her temples,  angry muppet eyebrows and slimy tongue -- but I can't quite see it.

Lexi should be proud to have made it further than any other redhead.

Kelsey will always look like a stripper to me.

I think Hannah Ann has improved with time and Madison is still doing well.

Sydney is beautiful, but so young acting and sounding.

Add me to the Tammy is the worst train.   Leave people and their medications alone.

Every last one of them is too good for Peter.

[alexa]

6 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Peter keeps saying that he has been through this "process"  before, and he knows it works.

Does it, Peter?  As I recall, your experience is that you fall in love with someone, fuck  them in a windmill (4 times!)  and they pick someone else, get engaged, then get un-engaged.  And that is how you know it WORKS?  

I was wondering this same thing, and you know the girls have to be thinking similarly!  lol

I realize the show has to go with the pace the Bachelor is setting to some degree, but we also know the producers, etc, are great at manipulation.  So why can't they pick up the speed a bit when they see that Peter repeatedly stalls every single thing by stopping a date to think, tattle on women, try to get clarity from a crazy person, etc.  I mean,, at some point Chris or someone should say to him--for goodness sake just go on the freaking dates, do the cocktail parties, and move on.  

[Katie111]

How is Peter getting to know any of these women?  Even if he “knows what he wants to do”, why does he constantly cancel the cocktail parties and end dates early?   How are getting to know anyone if you are constantly avoiding the girls?  Just have the cocktail party and then still eliminate whoever you had planned on eliminating.  
 

Kelley is staying out of the drama and he sees that as her being disinterested.  I think she was interested but she sees how he handles all this drama and how he keeps all the drama queens and now she is wondering if the man she met in the lobby is really anything worth fighting for.  I think initially she really liked him but seeing how wishy-washy he is with all these immature girls, has really caused her to completely lose interest in him.   And because she I disinterested, he gives her the rose. When he says he wants someone that “gives more than they receive”, he really means that he wants someone that is falling al over him.  Even though none of these girls really know him at all.  

[Mu Shu]

10 hours ago, JenE4 said:

These traditional, cultural, spiritual ceremony dates are always my favorite. Well, the 2:1 someone left alone to die is really my favorite. But this is my Right Reasons type favorite because it’s interesting how the two people on the date read into it and what it means for their relationship. Unfortunately for Peter, Kelley is here for the Wrong Reasons. She has no interest in him—she doesn’t even have any interest in the travel. She sighed over the idea of having to go on this date in the pre-interview.

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Kelly was jetted to Cleveland. She ain’t getting fooled again.

She seems to be at least a decade in maturity older than Peter. In the running for Bachelorette?

[alexa]

3 minutes ago, Katie111 said:

How is Peter getting to know any of these women?  Even if he “knows what he wants to do”, why does he constantly cancel the cocktail parties and end dates early?   How are getting to know anyone if you are constantly avoiding the girls?  Just have the cocktail party and then still eliminate whoever you had planned on eliminating.  
 

Kelley is staying out of the drama and he sees that as her being disinterested.  I think she was interested but she sees how he handles all this drama and how he keeps all the drama queens and now she is wondering if the man she met in the lobby is really anything worth fighting for.  I think initially she really liked him but seeing how wishy-washy he is with all these immature girls, has really caused her to completely lose interest in him.   And because she I disinterested, he gives her the rose. When he says he wants someone that “gives more than they receive”, he really means that he wants someone that is falling al over him.  Even though none of these girls really know him at all.  

This!  I mean, I get that he is getting stressed out, but avoiding time with them is not going to lead to getting to know any of them at all.  I mean, look at the people that had their favorite person leave in the past, yet they managed to continue on, and some of them such as Ashley and Desiree met an actual lasting love by doing so.  

Yes, Kelley is interesting, and I was thinking the same thing.  She does not want to reduce herself to their level, and doesn't want to get involved in the way Peter wants her to.  So she probably isn't very interested in him anymore because she sees some of the women he is interested in and how they act.

[TheFinalRose]

8 hours ago, angelamh66 said:

Did anyone else notice the look that briefly flashed across Peter’s face when Kelly flipped the script on him and basically said she was mature and ready for commitment but she didn’t think he was.

Kelly is the only sane choice to be the Bachelorette from this group. I can just hear her voice overs: "I was lukewarm about taking this journey but when I met Peter in the hotel lobby I thought it was a sign and I joined the cast. By episode two, however, I realized it was a mistake. But I know this process works, so in Cleveland, I talked myself into staying for the travel opportunities and Instagram followers.  Of course, I couldn't hide my disdain for the dweebie, wishy washy Peter, and he knew it.  However, since I had been to Costa Rica before, I wanted to see if our next destination was somewhere I hadn't been, so I accepted his rose. As you all know, the more you see of Peter, the worse it gets so eventually my journey ended. But now I am here to find love, and I plan to attend all my cocktail parties, boot out the drama-makers, and go to five places I've never been before." 

[phlebas]

Peter was drunk when he cut his head, right?

Every time they show Kelsey's face, I just want some liquid from offscreen to splash on her. Just a cameraman squirting beer would be fine. When she went to see Peter, I was all "the volcano is gonna explode and hit her in the face"!
 

[Kendra143]

My husband skipped watching the second and third hours of the Bachelor in favor of American Pickers last night.  When we went to bed he asked for an update.  I just shook my head and said I lost at least 50 IQ points continuing to watch the last two hours.  I've never seen a season like this where there is literally no one to root for.  I cringed every time Peter said "Come over here" and started macking on each girl in succession.  I'm no prude but I wanted to brush my teeth and use mouth wash after that date....

Edited February 4, 2020 by Kendra143
editing

[Riplet68]

Why do none of the male bachelors ever have any personality?  I staryed watching Jojos season, and the ‘ettres always seem to have loads (i think that started with Kaitlyn).  Nick i guess had personaliy, but Arie and Colton, meh.

As cute as Tyler is, i dont think he would have made a good bachelor, hes just too good at knowing the right things to say.  Mike has a great personality and would have been great. I wonder how he would have handled the psychos- i can safely guess he wouldnt have let it get this far

[LBS]

This group has to be the most mean spirited group ever.  There are some that are raising above the fray but the majority of them seem to be more interested in yelling at each other rather than getting to know each other.  I don't see any real friendships coming out of this and definitely not a permanent relationship with Peter the Dolt.  

I did like how Kelley started laughing at the lizard during their date.  She got the absurd Bachelor in Paradise-esque date and I think it just hit her at the moment. 

Madison knocked it out of the park with her pantsuits during the Rose Ceremonies. 

[Cornhusker12]

I finally realized who Peter reminds me of. Paul Rudd's character from Parks and Recreation, Bobby Newport:

 

[b2H]

12 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Peter seems like he is scared to death to be there. He looks sweaty and nervous and can’t express himself besides kissing. He is all over the gossip like an old fish wife. There is nothing appealing about him to me. I’m not sure any of the women really want him.

He's sweaty because they're in Costa Rica.  It's bloody hot there.  They're all sweating profusely because, at least for the Rose Ceremony, they're all over-dressed.

12 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Wow! It’s back on Wednesday, I’m going to have to chose between this or MAFS. 

MAFS repeats the previous week's episode the following week.  That's how I'm managing it.

[b2H]

11 hours ago, EllenB said:

And you get to watch two more hours Wednesday!  It's all a wicked commie plot to make us all as moronic as Peter by the end of the season.

I think ABC realizes how bad this is and they're trying to get rid of as much as they can as soon as they can and bring on DWTS which isn't such a mess.

[Wouldofshouldof]

14 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Why does Peter have to “confront” each girl with every thing he hears? “I heard you had a mental breakdown rough time yesterday.” This is not how you comfort someone! Now she’s really going to end up in a tailspin!

Fixed it for you, Peter