S03.E15: True Colors

[HunterHunted]

When my Nigerian father wanted to marry my Nigerian mother, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family. My mom's family didn't need the money because they were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar more wealthy than my dad's family. Her family wasn't so cool with her choice. He was a twice divorced dad with full custody of one kid and joint custody of another kid. They begrudgingly gave consent to the marriage.

When my Nigerian-American brother wanted to marry my Nigerian-American now sister-in-law, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family.  When one of my other brothers wanted to marry his white American wife, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by her family elders to do the traditional Nigerian marriage ceremony.

They aren't making Ben jump through unusual hoops because he's white and American nor are they trying to shake him down. This is the culture. And increasingly in younger generations in America and the UK, the bride price might go to things like a charity of the bride's choosing. Much of what we're seeing is pretty typical for getting approval to wed one's suitor. Ben is clueless about these issues and Akinyi doesn't seem to be particularly forthcoming with the details. I don't believe it's occurred to folks that part of the reason why Akinyi isn't sharing the details is because she doesn't know or understand how different her traditions are from American ones. My brother who is married to white woman tried to be a pretty typically American groom with minimal involvement in the wedding. Aside from the traditional wedding, Africans usually do a western style wedding that incorporates some traditional elements. I remember having to pull him aside to explain that his fiancee didn't know or understand these traditions. I said she'll probably let our mom steamroll her because she doesn't want to anger her future mother in law. My brother initially ignored me. I tried again and listed some of the traditional elements. At that point, he got it. He realized there were things he did and did not want. I told him that it wasn't fair to his fiancee because she didn't understand it all and he could at least dedicate an hour or 2 a week to review the plans. We were all raised in the states, but sometimes you don't recognize how unique your experiences are.

I'd say the same of a lot of American who are quick to judge foreign customs and traditions. Why do you think your traditions should be the norm or the default? Furthermore, there are decently large pockets of the US where people consider polygamy, subservience of women, and corporal punishment of wives and children to be ok and I'm not just talking about FLDS. I had a coworker who told me that her grandmother gave my coworker the following advice when my coworker got married; she said you have to always have sex with your husband whether you want to or not--you can never use the excuses of pregnancy, your monthlies, headache, or illness. My coworker concluded that her grandmother was such a feminist rebel for even talking about sex. I had to explain to her that her grandmother was arguing for marital rape. This coworker is 43.

All of this is to say, different cultures have different cultural norms. That being said, conservative Islam is not my bag. Good luck with that Avery. Angela is still an abuser. There's nothing entertaining about it. Jeniffer keeps expecting a machismo Latino man to emerge from an effete dandy like Tim. Ain't going to happen. Teri is Avery. Avery is Teri. They both suck. Rebecca? I've been so busy rolling my eyes that my eyes got stuck looking at the back of my skull and I've still had more on the record jobs than Zied. My 14 year old nephew has had more on the record jobs. Caesar is a performance art piece titled "One Man Fapping." Stacey hates Darcey. Darcey hates Stacey. However, Tom just gave a masterclass in accelerated Jesse. Sixty seconds to point out her flaws and tell Darcey how those flaws kept him from "proposing." Next level awful.

Edited September 23, 2019 by HunterHunted

[Kangatush]

28 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

When my Nigerian father wanted to marry my Nigerian mother, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family. My mom's family didn't need the money because they were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar more wealthy than my dad's family. Her family wasn't so cool with her choice. He was a twice divorced dad with full custody of one kid and joint custody of another kid. They begrudgingly gave consent to the marriage.

Thank you for explaining all of that.  The only thing that struck me as a little odd is the refusal to say what the bride price might be before meeting him.  Is that too pretty standard?  How does one determine a bride price?

[HunterHunted]

16 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Thank you for explaining all of that.  The only thing that struck me as a little odd is the refusal to say what the bride price might be before meeting him.  Is that too pretty standard?  How does one determine a bride price?

Haggling is pretty standard. It can be a fixed price, but it's often negotiated with X pounds of goods like kola nuts, palm wine, meat, yams, soda, rice and liquor for the bride's family to serve when family from far and wide come to the wedding to celebrate. It can actually be a pretty reasonable outlay of cash because ethnic weddings in America can kind of shock the American consciousness.

Smallest ethnic wedding I've been to--a Nigerian-American wedding that had about 120 people. The largest? An Indian-American classmate who had over a thousand people. I have three married brothers. One eloped and has never been forgiven by family elders. The others were fairly typical at more than 500 guests each.

[Gobi]

Next week on 90DFBFT90D: Zied meets with his PI.

 "Everything. checks out, except", dramatic pause with close-up of Zied's greasy hair, "she's married!"

 " No! Not my beeutiful, sexxxy, babee! What a blow I've been dealt! I need my hookah! "

[Bryce Lynch]

There is no way Omar cares even one iota about Avery.  No man would encourage a woman he loves to move into a dangerous war zone, like Syria.  That is the type of situation where you push someone you love away, for their safety and well-being.  

I have no doubt that he was trolling the internet, looking for a gullible, Western bride to get him out of Syria.

[DiamondGirl]

32 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Next week on 90DFBFT90D: Zied meets with his PI.

 "Everything. checks out, except", dramatic pause with close-up of Zied's greasy hair, "she's married!"

 " No! Not my beeutiful, sexxxy, babee! What a blow I've been dealt! I need my hookah! "

I wish!  Every week I have more contempt for Rebecca because of how she’s deceiving him.  Her divorce is barely filed and how likely is it that she’ll be allowed to import another fiancé right away, if ever?

It wouldn’t be surprising at all that Zied has had only jobs that paid him under the table since that happens all the time here too.  Her lecture about him having to work is pointless anyway because he wouldn’t be able to work here for quite awhile as she must well know.

[Hannah94]

20 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

There is no way Omar cares even one iota about Avery.  No man would encourage a woman he loves to move into a dangerous war zone, like Syria.  That is the type of situation where you push someone you love away, for their safety and well-being.  

I have no doubt that he was trolling the internet, looking for a gullible, Western bride to get him out of Syria.

I agree but I also cannot blame him for wanting out of there!

[Bryce Lynch]

11 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

I agree but I also cannot blame him for wanting out of there!

I don't blame him for wanting out of there, but I 100% blame him for the way he is going about it. 

It is bad enough when these green card scammers mess with people's emotions and finances.  But, Omar is going way beyond that and putting Avery's life in danger.

[Hannah94]

Just now, Bryce Lynch said:

I don't blame him for wanting out of there, but I 100% blame him for the way he is going about it. 

It is bad enough when these green card scammers mess with people's emotions and finances.  But, Omar is going way beyond that and putting Avery's life in danger.

I don't think for one millisecond that either of them ever planned on Avery moving to Syria. That was production-driven drama, IMO. And I have to say, this time I do truly hope it is made-up drama.

Oh shit, I just realized I have that exact same white belt that Tim is wearing. 😞

[Mrs. Hanson]

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Tom was a super dick, and I am here for it.  If we had gone on a tropical vacation, like I wanted, I probably would have proposed, but since you dragged me here to meet your troll of a sister, I'm not gonna...

He kinda was a super dick but I sorta loved him for calling out Darcy on all her crap.  No, I don't think he was going to propose in the islands  - he was pissed at her dragging him to Albania then all the events that followed.  So he was, to me, looking for a little payback.  Good for him.  He is so over her pushy sexual advances, so over her drinking and crying and now we watched him punish her.  

7 hours ago, Dobian said:

Avery is all about Avery and doesn't give a shit about anyone else.  Let her go to Syria, mom, and give her a gas mask as a wedding gift.

Yep - just let her go.  You can't do anything about it.  Ask what she wants for a funeral and keep in touch!  "As long as I am near Omar I am fine!"  You keep believing that, girl!

[Drogo]

8 hours ago, magemaud said:

Wait a minute! Is Akinyi’s mother wearing Rebecca’s jacket? 

Yes, but Mama Akinyi leveled up with the shoulder quilting.

[Gobi]

24 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Yes, but Mama Akinyi leveled up with the shoulder quilting.

Props to her for avoiding cold shoulders.

[EastCoast4Life]

Everything with Darcy has to be over the top, and above all, romantic. Every look, every gesture, she thinks, "oh wow, he held my hand, an engagement must be coming any SECOND!" Both her and her sister are the most delusional people that have ever graced my TV. There's the twin power struggle, the fact that both look like plastic muppets cosplaying BDSM, and both the guys they've "fallen madly in love with" are nothing to write home about. I can't believe I am agreeing with Louboutin shoe throwing survivor, Jesse, but here I am. Darcy needs to work on herself. 

Edited September 23, 2019 by EastCoast4Life

[iwasish]

9 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Tom needs to experience Darcey at her absolute worst to even consider marriage.

It’s coming!!!

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

He kinda was a super dick but I sorta loved him for calling out Darcy on all her crap.  No, I don't think he was going to propose in the islands  - he was pissed at her dragging him to Albania then all the events that followed.  So he was, to me, looking for a little payback.  Good for him.  He is so over her pushy sexual advances, so over her drinking and crying and now we watched him punish her.  

Yep - just let her go.  You can't do anything about it.  Ask what she wants for a funeral and keep in touch!  "As long as I am near Omar I am fine!"  You keep believing that, girl!

This is actually a kindness to Darcy.  If he never had an intention of proposing and just wants to get out of this situation he has given Darcy a perfect way to claim that Tom loved her and blame Stacy for the fact that he didn't propose.  

Darcy can be cast in the role of romantic novel heroine who was kept from her true love by evil sister Stacy.  It's almost like Cinderella.  

[hookedontv]

@Pepper Mostly

"I used to be disgusted. But now I try to be amused."

I didn't get a chance to comment on what you wrote in the Live Chat last week - I am a big Elvis Costello fan and love this quote! I always hum the song when I'm wearing my red flats...

Ugh, I did not get a chance to watch this episode yet but wanted to get a head start on the snark before watching tonight. Sounds like a fab episode - again! 

Edited September 23, 2019 by hookedontv

[Drogo]

Tom, 115 minutes ago, under a bridge:  "I really haven't give any thought to marriage." 

Tom, 3 minutes ago, in a bar:  "I was going to propose to you in Gran Canaria this week." 

[Carly13817]

Rebecca - Enough with all the secrets. Why are you being a hypocrite about Zied possibly lying to you about his work situation and you have not told him yet about still being married to your 23 year old husband from Morocco?

Caesar - I don't care to see anymore of his time in Mexico. The story is over

Darcey - Go back home and spend time with your daughters and take a break from dating. Also try not to compare your love life with your sister's

Benjamin - Oh vey. Are you sure you are ready to marry Akinyi and be a part of her family? Also, where are they going to live after they get married?b

Tim - Good for you Tim. You finally kissed the girl. Now is Jennifer done calling him a pussy?

Avery - I felt sorry a bit that she was not really a part of her own wedding. Oh wait, no I was not. That is what she chose for her life! Good for her mom for leaving them in the restaurant and taking the next flight home! Bye

Angela - Oh my goodness. I thought you were done for good with Michael. You did call him a SOB after all. So glad you are back with Michael but only to find out he wants to have a baby regardless with who it is with.

Edited September 23, 2019 by Carly13817
I forgot to include Angela

[BallisticNikki]

On 9/17/2019 at 6:28 PM, Toaster Strudel said:

Darcey is a lot prettier than Stacey now, being a step behind in the race to ruin her face.

Wow! Really? I think Stacey is, and has always been, the better looking twin.

On 9/18/2019 at 10:47 PM, Chippings said:

Again .. communication.  In all these blissful days, has Rebecca never said, "So, how's your work?  Did you take time off for my visit, or will you have to spend some time at work?"  Or before the visit, "When is a good time for me to come?  Can you get time off of work?"  Oh sigh.  Blinders on, much?

Yeah, what do these ppl talk about? Some of the questions they ask each other when they meet are ridiculous. Zied had to ask Rebecca (in front of Wein) how many times she's been married. Shouldn't he have known that? And I think  Tim had to tell Jeniffer which city he lives in or something crazy like that.

On 9/19/2019 at 12:18 AM, RealReality said:

It's weird to me that they both have drastically altered their appearance ....to look exactly alike.  

The more filler women use, the more they all look exactly alike. LOL

On 9/20/2019 at 2:45 PM, Cammi said:

I dunno, I just can not fathom meeting a man at my age who: lives at home

Living at home until marriage is more common abroad than in the US.

On 9/20/2019 at 6:55 PM, Spike said:

Prolly uncut and rank from that as well .

LOL OMG !

******************************************************************

I think Omar is cute! Anyone else?😋

Edited September 23, 2019 by BallisticNikki

[Mu Shu]

I think Avery likes playing dress up. 

Mahkul ain’t having him no side piece. Big Ang will rip his head off and shit down his neck. I liked her hell to the no Bobby Brown exchange with his mother. Big Ang holds all the cards, and her customs will become your customs. You poor dumb bastard. Stay in Nigeria, get a Trump poster. A real redneck woman is hell on wheels. One the size of Big Ang is like living with King Kong every damn day. 

[Lily247]

46 minutes ago, EastCoast4Life said:

Everything with Darcy has to be over the top, and above all, romantic. Every look, every gesture, she thinks, "oh wow, he held my hand, an engagement must be coming any SECOND!" Both her and her sister are the most delusional people that have ever graced my TV. There's the twin power struggle, the fact that both look like plastic muppets cosplaying BDSM, and both the guys they've "fallen madly in love with" are nothing to write home about. I can't believe I am agreeing with Louboutin shoe throwing survivor, Jesse, but here I am. Darcy needs to work on herself. 

This might sound strange, because I cant stand 95%  of the participants on this show, but I really like Darcy and even though she is delusional, a Z list fame whore, idiotic, drunk, etc I still think she'd be fun to hang out with and doesnt take herself too seriously. I remember at one of the reunions when half the cast members started brawling/catfighting (I think it was Angela and England-Rachel) Darcy stayed completely quiet and didnt say a peep. 

[Rt66vintage]

Is it possible that Zied & Florida (thank you special above poster) are stuck in some sort of time warp with their leather jackets and chain wallet? I'm thinking the Fonz.

I'm on the Darcey looks better than Stacey team, but they're both little troll dolls, lol.

[BallisticNikki]

7 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

This might sound strange, because I cant stand 95%  of the participants on this show, but I really like Darcy and even though she is delusional, a Z list fame whore, idiotic, drunk, etc I still think she'd be fun to hang out with and doesnt take herself too seriously. I remember at one of the reunions when half the cast members started brawling/catfighting (I think it was Angela and England-Rachel) Darcy stayed completely quiet and didnt say a peep. 

Yeah, Darcey seems like a very nice person. 

[Lily247]

5 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

When my Nigerian father wanted to marry my Nigerian mother, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family. My mom's family didn't need the money because they were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar more wealthy than my dad's family. Her family wasn't so cool with her choice. He was a twice divorced dad with full custody of one kid and joint custody of another kid. They begrudgingly gave consent to the marriage.

When my Nigerian-American brother wanted to marry my Nigerian-American now sister-in-law, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family.  When one of my other brothers wanted to marry his white American wife, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by her family elders to do the traditional Nigerian marriage ceremony.

They aren't making Ben jump through unusual hoops because he's white and American nor are they trying to shake him down. This is the culture. And increasingly in younger generations in America and the UK, the bride price might go to things like a charity of the bride's choosing. Much of what we're seeing is pretty typical for getting approval to wed one's suitor. Ben is clueless about these issues and Akinyi doesn't seem to be particularly forthcoming with the details. I don't believe it's occurred to folks that part of the reason why Akinyi isn't sharing the details because she doesn't know or understand how different her traditions from American ones. My brother who is married to white woman tried to be a pretty typically American groom with minimal involvement in the wedding. Aside from the traditional wedding, Africans usually do a western style wedding that incorporates some traditional elements. I remember having to pull him aside to explain that his fiancee didn't know or understand these traditions. I said she'll probably let our mom steamroll her because she doesn't want to anger her future mother in law. My brother initially ignored me. I tried again and listed some of the traditional elements. At that point, he got it. He realized there were things he did and did not want. I told him that it wasn't fair to his fiancee because she didn't understand it all and he could at least dedicate 2 hours a week to review the plans. We were all raised in the states, but sometimes you don't recognize how unique your experiences are.

This makes sense. Ben seems nice enough, but he doesnt seem to have researched or learned much about Akinyis culture.  I think he believed that he could just come to Kenya, marry her and whisk her away but it definitely isnt going to work like that. And hell, if I were Akinyis folks Id be VERY suspicious of Ben. 

And I love ethnic weddings, they seem to be more spirited than the traditional American kind, which to me personally, always seem a bit boring. 

[kacesq]

6 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

When my Nigerian father wanted to marry my Nigerian mother, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family. My mom's family didn't need the money because they were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar more wealthy than my dad's family. Her family wasn't so cool with her choice. He was a twice divorced dad with full custody of one kid and joint custody of another kid. They begrudgingly gave consent to the marriage.

When my Nigerian-American brother wanted to marry my Nigerian-American now sister-in-law, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by the elders of her family.  When one of my other brothers wanted to marry his white American wife, he had to pay a bride price and be approved by her family elders to do the traditional Nigerian marriage ceremony.

They aren't making Ben jump through unusual hoops because he's white and American nor are they trying to shake him down. This is the culture. And increasingly in younger generations in America and the UK, the bride price might go to things like a charity of the bride's choosing. Much of what we're seeing is pretty typical for getting approval to wed one's suitor. Ben is clueless about these issues and Akinyi doesn't seem to be particularly forthcoming with the details. I don't believe it's occurred to folks that part of the reason why Akinyi isn't sharing the details because she doesn't know or understand how different her traditions from American ones. My brother who is married to white woman tried to be a pretty typically American groom with minimal involvement in the wedding. Aside from the traditional wedding, Africans usually do a western style wedding that incorporates some traditional elements. I remember having to pull him aside to explain that his fiancee didn't know or understand these traditions. I said she'll probably let our mom steamroll her because she doesn't want to anger her future mother in law. My brother initially ignored me. I tried again and listed some of the traditional elements. At that point, he got it. He realized there were things he did and did not want. I told him that it wasn't fair to his fiancee because she didn't understand it all and he could at least dedicate 2 hours a week to review the plans. We were all raised in the states, but sometimes you don't recognize how unique your experiences are.

I'd say the same of a lot of American who are quick to judge foreign customs and traditions. Why do you think your traditions should be the norm or the default? Furthermore, there are decently large pockets of the US where people consider polygamy, subservience of women, and corporal punishment of wives and children to be ok and I'm not just talking about FLDS. I had a coworker who told me that her grandmother gave my coworker the following advice when my coworker got married; she said you have to always have sex with your husband whether you want to or not--you can never use the excuses of pregnancy, your monthlies, headache, or illness. My coworker concluded that her grandmother was such a feminist rebel for even talking about sex. I had to explain to her that her grandmother was arguing for marital rape. This coworker is 43.

All of this is to say, different cultures have different cultural norms. That being said, conservative Islam is not my bag. Goodluck with that Avery. Angela is still an abuser. There's nothing entertaining about it. Jeniffer keeps expecting a machismo Latino man to emerge from an effete dandy like Tim. Ain't going to happen. Teri is Avery. Avery is Teri. They both suck. Rebecca? I've been so busy rolling my eyes that my eyes got stuck looking at the back of my skull and I've still had more on the record jobs than Zied. Caesar is a performance art piece titled "One Man Fapping." Stacey hates Darcey. Darcey hates Stacey. However, Tom just gave a masterclass in accelerated Jesse. Sixty seconds to point out her flaws and tell Darcey how those flaws kept him from "proposing." Next level awful.

Thank you for providing this insight. But what struck me about it was Akinyi saying he could go broke paying the bride price. I dont understand why his future in laws would want the couple to start out broke. Or is that Akinyi not understanding something?

[Drogo]

In case anyone missed this week's episode, here's a quick visual recap! 

Rebecca:

Zied:

Avery:

Teri:

Omar:

Benjamin: 

Akinyi:

Michael:

Michael's mother: 

Angela:

Stacey:


Florian:

Tom:


Darcey:

Tim:

Jeniffer:

Caesar: 

Maria:

[Eme]

Omar has a long game which he is keeping under wraps.  His calm reactions to Avery’s freak outs are only because he knows what will happen if she thinks she can do that after they are married.  Nope. Not having it.  She is a bad combo of headstrong, stubborn and ignorant.  Does she realize she may very well have to share Omar with three other women?  I don’t think so.  THAT should have been Teri’s one and only argument against the marriage.  Teri was so Determined to Get Avery Married before she left- and determined to be at that wedding.  How did that turn out for her?  Unacknowledged as a person, much less as the Mother of the Bride.  That whole Power Of Attorney/Representative thing was just too much for me.  It felt like watching a car wreck from which I could not look away.  Teri smiling inappropriately-she should have been outraged-but then again, where would it have gotten her in that scenario?  Just feel like her smiling ridiculously did not give Avery the right context as to what a Hot Mess she was getting into.  Omar has it all figured out- Say Nothing now, because Avery will soon be your property and she will be forced to do what you say later.  I find him attractive in the Realm of the 90 Dayers, but his eyes betray his irritation, and that’s not good for Avery.  Also, Avery is experienced, what if Omar is not so hot to trot?  She’s gonna be bumming Very Soon.  Hope the Tell All brings some clarity.

Ben is dumb for not staying in his own hotel room.  Dumb for not looking into what is expected as a potential Groom.  Dumb for not realizing they are going to Harvest the American Dollar and he’s the one being harvested.  From the previews for the next episode, hoping next week he is so turned off by Bikinis drinking he dumps her and runs home. Hope springs eternal.

Tim just pings my gaydar.  Nothing wrong with that.  He is not into Jeniffer and never will be. He made up the Ex-Text last week to avoid intimacy, but this week he was stuck.  Very uncomfortable to watch.  Jeniffer is not into him either, but sees him as a way out.  Her rude comments to his person do not let up and that is not cool. He needs to stand up for himself and stop her before she gets more abusive - he doesn’t deserve that.

Tim being the Jesse Masterclass In Gaslighting is genius!  Darce has no self-esteem and as a fellow woman, that is hard to watch.

Edited September 23, 2019 by Eme

[alegtostandon]

There is something about Tim that is just not right.  The first "kiss" was extremely uncomfortable to watch.  Then,  they go back to his room,  sitting on the couch,  he talks about the kiss like it's the first time he's ever kissed.  Then,  he says 'let's go change into our jammies and lay in bed and snuggle.'.  Jeniffer has to ask for another kiss,  he is looking at his perfectly polished nails while "kissing".  In bed,  he's in full neck to toes jammies,  then they begin talking about "first base", "second base", what 38 year old man talks like that!?

Mikkel needs to tell Big Ang that HE is tired of the fighting,  that this relationship is not going to work, to please leave his country and leave him alone. Big Ang will change her attitude real fast.  He is giving her all of the control.

That private,  romantic dinner Ceaser paid big bucks for was right on the pathway for the beach.  He should have stood up and offered the dinner to the couple who were ironically walking by.  

[KateHearts]

On 9/22/2019 at 7:45 AM, Hannah94 said:

Am I the only one who can see the look of despair on Tom's face every time she rambles on about marriage, engagement, etc? I can literally see a thought cloud above his head that reads "Omfg, what have I signed up for? I signed a contract with TLC and now I have to follow through with this circus act."

BUT Then Tom says he “might have wanted to propose “ if they had gone to his planned island vacation.. he referenced his parents getting engaged there and how he surmises it would have been “romantic.”

and here is where his and Darcy’s views diverge. She hears “proposal” and her mind turns off. She’s like a Pavlovian dog...slobbering at the word and homing in on it...and neglects to truly listen to his real point- which is that he now has a more fleshed out picture of Darcy and her insecure, petty side (not to mention her shallow belief that outer appearances and an engagement ring make life perfect)and he’s not sure he likes it.

Grave mistake there, Tom. It’s like a repeat of Jesse ‘s suggestion she “work on herself” which she reads as “I need more fillers.” She will never, ever get the point he was trying to make.

I liked Tom a little more before this episode. He’s kind of a wet blanket. He’s tired, he doesn’t want to wait, he’s carsick. I think that he’s regretting the spiderweb that Darcy is, as the above poster mentioned.  “Holy shit, I’ve gotta get her back to Connecticut and change my number ASAP.”

Edited September 23, 2019 by KateHearts

[Lady Iris]

11 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Tom was a super dick, and I am here for it.  If we had gone on a tropical vacation, like I wanted, I probably would have proposed, but since you dragged me here to meet your troll of a sister, I'm not gonna...

That was downright cruel to do that to her. I actually felt a bit bad for her. She's such a needy mess. I feel bad for her girls. Would she want them behaving this way for dick? I don't think so.

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

******************************************************************

I think Omar is cute! Anyone else?😋

I do too but beware the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Does anybody have any insight as to the muslim wedding that we witnessed? Is that the typical wedding?

How is Tim not angry or indignant about being called a pussy by Jenifffffer? He just takes it. That's no good.

Rebecca is one piece of work, that's all I got to say about her.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 9/18/2019 at 1:33 PM, magemaud said:

When Florian said something about them wearing their matching outfits at the same time, I realized they most likely grew up dressing alike as many identical twins do and have carried this into adulthood. 

I see a pair of twins in Boston from time to time, dressed alike head to toe. They're about 70.

18 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I would just LOVE to see what those twins look like after they showered.  No fake hair, no makeup, no false eyelashes.  Yikes!  Get the firehose.  I also think they are like 3 feet tall.  While I’m at it, their clothes are too tight, especially on the top.  Boobs always on display.  It must be exhausting to get dressed up everyday.

Didn't you see Darcy shoehorning herself into her pleather outfit a week or two ago? She couldn't even stand! Not without a lot of "oof"'s, anyway. And that rocking thing you do to get up when your pants are too tight.

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

@Pepper Mostly

"I used to be disgusted. But now I try to be amused."

I didn't get a chance to comment on what you wrote in the Live Chat last week - I am a big Elvis Costello fan and love this quote! I always hum the song when I'm wearing my red flats...

I was hoping someone would get it! Cheers!

51 minutes ago, Eme said:

Omar has a long game which he is keeping under wraps.  His calm reactions to Avery’s freak outs are only because he knows what will happen if she thinks she can do that after they are married.  Nope. Not having it.  She is a bad combo of headstrong, stubborn and ignorant.  Does she realize she may very well have to share Omar with three other women?  I don’t think so.  THAT should have been Teri’s one and only argument against the marriage.  Teri was so Determined to Get Avery Married before she left- and determined to be at that wedding.  How did that turn out for her?  Unacknowledged as a person, much less as the Mother of the Bride.  That whole Power Of Attorney/Representative thing was just too much for me.  It felt like watching a car wreck from which I could not look away.  Teri smiling inappropriately-she should have been outraged-but then again, where would it have gotten her in that scenario?  Just feel like her smiling ridiculously did not give Avery the right context as to what a Hot Mess she was getting into.  Omar has it all figured out- Say Nothing now, because Avery will soon be your property and she will be forced to do what you say later.  I find him attractive in the Realm of the 90 Dayers, but his eyes betray his irritation, and that’s not good for Avery.  Also, Avery is experienced, what if Omar is not so hot to trot?  She’s gonna be bumming Very Soon.  Hope the Tell All brings some clarity.

It is highly unlikely that Omar will take any additional wives. its permitted in Islam, but its not common at all. Unless you're Saudi royalty or something. As a practical matter, supporting several wives is untenable for most people. Omar seems more European in outlook and attitude, I am doubtful that he is ultra conservative. If he was, why would he be looking for an American wife, and have the ambition to move here? He'd be able to go to a fair number of places that are Muslim majority, where a conservative or fundamentalist practice of the religion would be more accepted. Muslim does not mean Taliban. Many, many Muslims are not fundamentalist, and do not oppress women. Bangladesh, Pakistan, Senegal, Indonesia, Kosovo, Turkey, and Kyrgyzstan are all Muslim majority countries and all have had a woman president or prime minister (unlike the US). Fully one third of Egypt's, a Muslim majority country, Parliament is female.

I do think that Omar is playing a long game, with emigration to the US the objective. But I don't think he's a bad guy and I don't think Muslims are bad people. That shabby little wedding was clearly Sharp's way of telling us how backward, provincial, oppressive and distasteful Islam is. Which is kind of horrible but its what they do.

[magemaud]

9 minutes ago, alegtostandon said:

That private,  romantic dinner Ceaser paid big bucks for was right on the pathway for the beach.  He should have stood up and offered the dinner to the couple who were ironically walking by.  

After he left, heartbroken, I picture the film crew chowing down 

Edited September 23, 2019 by magemaud

[Pepper Mostly]

2 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

Does anybody have any insight as to the muslim wedding that we witnessed? Is that the typical wedding?

I don't know much about Muslim weddings, but I'd say that to see that as representative of a typical one would be, well, kind of a reach. It would be like comparing a city hall wedding to a big church ceremony, for one thing. We don't know if the sheikh was a more conservative type person who wanted to do things in a old fashioned way. Plus of course Sharp wants to paint everything in a foreign country as backward and bigoted.

Think of an Orthodox Jewish wedding, as compared to a wedding in a more Reform or liberal synagogue. Or a full blown Catholic nuptial mass compared to a barefoot beach wedding. There are degrees. Which would be considered a "typical" American wedding?

[b2H]

11 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Caesar should have reported 'Maria' and the matchmaking company to the local police a long time ago. He is an adult man who can make his own choices. Surely he could see that he was getting very little in return on his investment in her. No one can make his mistakes for him and he has to learn a very expensive lesson.

No, but as with all catfish victims, he wanted and needed to believe this story so badly that he couldn't begin to believe this wasn't real.  All the warning signs were there.  Even in an earlier episode of this season, people in the pool told him it sounded fishy and he just couldn't accept the possibility.  He was so sure.

[Persnickety1]

My BEC, Avery, needs to step away from the katafi.

Girl's face gets rounder and more moon like as the season progresses.  If she's back in America before the end of this month, she could don an orange head wrap and look like a makeup laden pumpkin.

-----

So did I hear correctly and Rebecca's PI buddy mentioned Rebecca had sent Zied money in the past?

So at what point did her razor-sharp PI skills fail to realize he was a broke ass and probably not gainfully employed?  The denial and stupidity run deep in Nancy Drew Rebecca.  

Rebecca in next week's preview, "He's taking advantage of me!"......

Says the woman who failed to disclose she is bisexual and failed to disclose she is still "technically" married.

And filtered herself to the point of requiring dental records for identification.

-----

I loved carsick Tom being engulfed by Stage 5 Clinger Darcy on that bus as he tried to swish his mouth out with water.  

I'm going to love even more next week's scene of the Jessie Era Darcy, drunk off her ass, slurring, bitching, smoking, and wallowing around in self pity.

Somewhere Jesse is proudly putting on his hat of "I told you so!"  

[kacesq]

I remain so frustrated with Avery's mom.  She whips back and forth between "I hate this, I want Avery to come home and dump Omar who is just using her" to "What? You can't get married today?  Let's race to the court and get approval and race to the sheikh and get married right now!"  It's mind-boggling.  And Avery got her way and is married to a guy who couldn't wipe the smug smile off his face and both of them really seemed to enjoy Teri's discomfort at the "we're living in Syria" news.  You couldn't wait to tell her that Avery?  You've known the entire damn trip and you waited until your glorious nuptial meal to ruin Teri's day?  I sense this is the dynamic those two have had for a long time.  And Teri is right - those two wouldn't have gotten married if she hadn't intevened...although again, WHY DID YOU INTERVENE TERI?  Sheesh.

And for someone who is so devoted to her new religion, did she do any research at all?  Yes, Omar promised he'd take care of all the arrangements and "it's not his wrong" that he just...didn't.  But did Avery use her phone and do any research?  Talk to anyone at her mosque back home?  She looked befuddled from the moment they put the brown cape on her till Omar told her she wouldn't even be talking at her own wedding.  Maybe that's the norm, I have no experience with it, but I'm not the one marrying in a Muslim ceremony.  If I was, I'd try to do just a *tad* more research.  So yeah, Avery...wedding of your dreams! Good luck with all that.

I'm glad Mykull's mom brought up children.  Mykull is a young guy with no kids...it's fairly routine to want to know what plans are for family.  And Angela is being her usual big bull-ish self roaring about no other woman.  What exactly are you giving Michael in exchange for him quitting his job, staying in his house, not having children?  The golden ticket to America?  Tread carefully, Michael.  Is this really what you want? Surely there's some other American woman who won't abuse you...

[hookedontv]

6 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

And filtered herself to the point of requiring dental records for identification.

Dead.

[endure]

On 9/18/2019 at 9:17 AM, libgirl2 said:

that blush is a bit.... uh.... dark. It should be subtle not clown like. 

I know, right! Every time I look at hers (Rebecca) and Darcy's face I just want to scrub them clean.

[endure]

Angela sets up a sit down with Michael acting like she is all apologetic and taking a reasonable and intelligent approach to solve their issues but within the next minute she is ending the convo with threats about ending the relationship if he doesn't tow the line and do what she expects.

Edited September 23, 2019 by endure
toe is not the same as tow

[Persnickety1]

11 minutes ago, endure said:

I know, right! Every time I look at hers (Rebecca) and Darcy's face I just want to scrub them clean.

I loved the contrast between Darcy and Stacy when they met for coffee.

Stacy looked like she slept in her makeup and just threw her (fake) hair up in a messy ponytail for their meeting.

Darcy, on the other hand, had clearly dolled herself up, but (and my vision might not be the best), it looked like her right fake eyelashes were a little crooked.  

Or maybe they were just withering under the weight of all of those tears she's constantly shedding.  

Either way, Darcy looks exponentially better than the Jesse season with the Miss Clairol Corpse Black dye job and the bloated Cheetos orange face with jeans so tight they looked like slashed sausage casings with parts of her ample thighs struggling to escape.  I can't believe she looked into a mirror and thought that was a good look for her (or anyone, for that matter).  

I can't wait to see next week's debacle with drunken Darcy.  My life is so mundane that it's going to be the highlight of my week 😄 

[LucyEth]

Darcey and Stacey are in constant competition, they don't like each other and do not want the other one to be happy if they are not happy.  I don't blame Tom for complaining, he had a beautiful trip planned for them and instead winds up doing hours long car rides to Albanian historical sites and flea markets.  Why Darcey would agree to go to Albania to meet her twin who she cannot stand is beyond reason.  The whole Tom/Darcey visit is a train wreck. Get the hell out of Albania and England, he is not going to marry you.  Start searching other countries for newly available catches, hey wait Caesar is available.    

[BravoAddict72]

I am married to an identical twin. They haven't dressed alike since they were 6. I can say they do have a twin bond that you really can't understand until you see it in person. However, my husband does not compete in everything with his brother like Darcey and her sister. They are just really close.

[magemaud]

47 minutes ago, kacesq said:

"What? You can't get married today?  Let's race to the court and get approval and race to the sheikh and get married right now!"

or as Avery pronounces it, Schick, like the razors. 

[Thisgirllovespasta]

19 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I can't wait to see next week's debacle with drunken Darcy.  My life is so mundane that it's going to be the highlight of my week 😄 

Darcy with cigarette and the ash must have been over an inch long... I couldn't help but think of the movie 16 candles when the one grandma is talking to the other grandma while she is making breakfast and she has the cigarette with long ash. She opens the box of entennman's donuts and says "Voila! breakfast is served". 

[islandgal140]

Avery isn't just willfully or gleefully stupid. She is defiantly stupid.  I don't ever think I have put those two words together but it describes her perfectly to me. 

Omar is already a failure as a husband and a man if he thinks taking Avery to a war torn country is a good idea. He should want safety and comfort for his wife - even above his own. People are fleeing away from Syria and he wants to bring a spoiled child into it. Selfish dick!

Becky the PI has more secret and lies than the clients who hire her.  For her to be juggling half a dozen of her own lies and clutch the pearls because gasp .... her Tunisian love rat doesn't seem to have any employment history is a laugh riot. She should have caught a clue when she was forced to pay for the rental car. I bet Z hasn't come out of pocket for anything - not even the gift of spice to his sister or his many hookah bar excursions. 

None of this is a surprise. I think Z himself, his family and friends have all at one point said on the show that Becky would take good care of him. I'm betting they didn't mean rub his Buddha belly and give him frequent hair oil changes. Note: I think he prefers Pennzoil. 

Didn't Stacy used to be the cuter and more natural looking twin? WTF happened? That scene when Darcy went to meet Stacy and tell her to cut the shit because they are making people uncomfortable was insane. If I didn't know any better I would have thought I was watching a scene between 2 geflings from Netflix's reimagined Dark Crystal (but somehow weirder looking). Darcy now is the cuter twin. 

I give Darcy a lot of shit due to her myriad of issues. She angers me with her shit choices in men, palpable air of desperation and being a poor example for her daughters but she really is at heart a sweet and kind-hearted person. When Tom told her the crap with her sister was making for a not fun trip she apologized immediately and tried to correct the problem. Things like that is why I can never truly hate her. I want her to do well, which is find some self esteem, become more well-read, be less superficial, especially when it comes to men. Ain't no reason in the world she couldn't find some Wall Street executive type or a professional man who would drink her dirty bath water. Sure he might look like Danny DeVito but that would still be an improvement over the Jesses and Toms of the world. 

Tom is a real POS. I now hope that Darcy punched him dead in the nose as a preemptive strike for the whole "I would have proposed in Gran Canaria" bullshit.  

What a delicate flower Tom is. Punched in the nose, twisted ankle sex and now car sick.  He would be lucky if he doesn't end this grand experiment as a head in a jar. 

Florian was out there catfishing too

Edited September 23, 2019 by islandgal140

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I don't know much about Muslim weddings, but I'd say that to see that as representative of a typical one would be, well, kind of a reach. It would be like comparing a city hall wedding to a big church ceremony, for one thing. We don't know if the sheikh was a more conservative type person who wanted to do things in a old fashioned way. Plus of course Sharp wants to paint everything in a foreign country as backward and bigoted.

Think of an Orthodox Jewish wedding, as compared to a wedding in a more Reform or liberal synagogue. Or a full blown Catholic nuptial mass compared to a barefoot beach wedding. There are degrees. Which would be considered a "typical" American wedding?

Ive been to several Orthodox Jewish weddings. Orthodox style, the bride does not need to say a word, simply put her finger out for the ring and drink a sip of wine from a cup while under a chuppa. A couple witnessess, a rabbi, the groom and thats it. Its just the basic requirements of the Jewish law. I didnt see this episode but Im sure Averys ceremony wasnt too different, and TBh i dont see the big deal as many people have this ingrained vision in their head of what a wedding ceremony is SUPPOSED to look like. 

[islandgal140]

Was it ever explained why Avery had to wear the Yoda robe over her wedding gown?

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Florian was out there catfishing too

Yikes! He's another "model" like Deaven, looks way better with his mouth closed. 

edited to add: So does Tom, come to think about it

Edited September 23, 2019 by magemaud

[Gobi]

2 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

Was it ever explained why Avery had to wear the Yoda robe over her wedding gown?

Because the Force is strong with that one.

[Pepper Mostly]

I spent a few minutes with Professor Google this morning, trying to find out something about that Yoda robe. Came up empty. I can only presume that the sheikh was having a bit of fun at Avery's expense. Or Sharp paid him.