S06.E09: Week 5, Part 1

[SassyCat]

Ahh! So they DO provide Kleenex in paradise and it looks like JPJ was aware of that with his romantic chivalrous gesture of handing Tayshia a handful of them for her one tear. 

His nasal clearing on the ground in front of the couch where people's bare feet are supposed to be was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on the many seasons of this show.

[DeeciePlum]

17 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Derek must have bad breath . He’s hot , seems down to earth and seems nice .. but is always getting dumped . 

Oh I hope not. Wouldn't JPJ have mentioned it when he was digging up anything remotely negative about Derek?

[adhoc]

Hmm, so Derek is 32 and laments that he can't seem to find "the one". (Not sure if I bought that 100%, though.) 

He may be a perfectly okay guy, and it's absolutely possible he has dated a lot but just hasn't found the one. But two other possibilities also occur to me:

• If Derek really does have a pretty good female fan base, could it be that he's actually reluctant to settle with one person just yet? Because who knows if someone better might come along from Bachelor Nation tomorrow, so what's the rush?
• I wonder if he's one of these Bachelor franchise guys whose currency has risen so much (from being on the show) that they're pickier than maybe they used to be.  Like, they cry that they can't find someone, but perhaps they used to be happy dating a "7" and now they require a "9"?  

Purely conjecture. It's just that Derek seems like an okay guy, appears to have a decent job, and he's nice looking, so it's hard to buy that he just can't find anyone...

Edited to add:  What I dope I am! You guys are right. He was simply auditioning for The Bachelor with that sob story. I knew I didn't buy it....

Edited September 3, 2019 by adhoc

[nutty1]

I know JPJ has been acting like a jerk, but Haley is acting like he proposed and then dumped her. What’s with that?!

[saber5055]

12 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Edited to add:  What I dope I am! You guys are right. He was simply auditioning for The Bachelor with that sob story. I knew I didn't buy it....

I think all of your theories are correct re: Derek. Just put "Bach audition" as the third bullet point.

[TiredMe]

I can’t even look at JPJ now. Gawd he is so nasty 🤮

what the heck with that new guy Matt? Something just ain’t right there. Couldn’t put my finger on it 

[Kiss my mutt]

I thought farmer Matt was on Becca’s season. He showed up on a tractor. 

He said he didn’t want his mom to see him make out on tv? He’s getting sent home ASAP. 

Boohoo Derek and don’t come back next year though I wished JPJ would have left instead though.  I just can’t with all this snot and vomit and it’s probably in his hair with all the swiping he does to his overhang.

Fuck, Dean is coming back tomorrow? Did he change his mind about Caitlyn? I hope he’s kicked to the curb. He’s yuck  

I 

[nutty1]

I can’t be the only one who thinks that Farmer Matt looks like Jake Pavelka!?

[scarlettudor]

Ohmygosh!  JPJ snotting on the ground!  Gross!

[RedheadZombie]

48 minutes ago, TiredMe said:

I can’t even look at JPJ now. Gawd he is so nasty 🤮

what the heck with that new guy Matt? Something just ain’t right there. Couldn’t put my finger on it 

All I see and hear is Sean Spicer. 

[tinkerbell]

1 hour ago, nutty1 said:

I’m just starting. Does Nicole apply her blush very strangely? It’s like 2 dark stripes. Drives me crazy. 

It's the contouring makeup, she's overdoing it, not blending, and it's just not a great look for outdoors in bright sun.

1 hour ago, nutty1 said:

I know JPJ has been acting like a jerk, but Haley is acting like he proposed and then dumped her. What’s with that?!

Making out with haley while he says he's in love with Tayshia, was hurtful to her.

[Haute Messe]

3 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Blake has a scar—stripe without hair—on his scalp. Lobotomy?

Possibly, and I feel like I have had one after watching this shitshow.I am going to have to find a new pastime - maybe exercise - before all my brain cells die.

Why (or is it now whyever) has the word "when" been eliminated and replaced with whenever? Is this a regional thing?? I have been hearing this all over the place mostly from people a generation younger than me, and it drives me nuts! I was an A student in English, and must have missed this class.

3 hours ago, adhoc said:

Bachelor in Paradise: Jr High Edition

So this episode involves assorted whiners, busy-bodies, and gossipers, it looks like. Any chance there might be a little romance shoehorned in somewhere?

In the boom boom room. Dylan and Hannah were "getting into each other" according to one of these gossipers.

[Wandering Snark]

I just keep thinking that there was a time (before the now obvious shark-jumping of the fabled 'shutdown') that this show was entertaining and even a bit funny.

There used to be this kinda fun, definitely stupid summer fluff show called Bachelor in Paradise; and this ain't it.

[Mu Shu]

Did I hear Caelynn say she had a great sex date?

[tinkerbell]

25 minutes ago, lizajane said:

.

Why (or is it now whyever) has the word "when" been eliminated and replaced with whenever? Is this a regional thing?? I have been hearing this all over the place mostly from people a generation younger than me, and it drives me nuts! I was an A student in English, and must have missed this class.

Yeah, it's  one of my recent pet peeves.  "When" and "whenever " are not interchangeable,  they have different meanings. 

[tinkerbell]

jpj has some serious emotional issues. He goes from too chill, like he's  on weed or xanax, to laughing over nothing, and then aggressive and angry. He's  not OK, there's something wrong. 

[MBJ]

5 hours ago, SallyAlbright said:

Nicole is like an immature teenager girl with her very first boyfriend that hates any girl who has ever looked at him. Not very attractive just repeatedly insulting Angela when as far as I know, they've never even met. 

The * ONLY * reason that Nicole is with Klay is because Christian and Jordan got kicked off the show.  He was the only guy left and she was like "I guess I'll date him."

And now she's like "I will murder your family if you look at him."  LOL.  Bitch please!  This is why I don't like her.  It's too Annaliese for me.

BLAKE NEEDS SUBTITLES!  Who the hell can follow this guy's low decibel monotone monologues?!??!!?!?!?!?!!?!

Edited September 3, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay

[MsTree]

4 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

He probably saw how well the snot cries worked for Ashley I and decided to try it for more instagram money 

Except I don't recall Ashley blowing snot into an air-tissue.😷

[Wandering Snark]

5 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Did I hear Caelynn say she had a great sex date?

iirc she said her date was 'sexual' ?? Maybe she was looking for 'sensual' and said 'sexual' instead? Because, yeah. Whoa.

[nlkm9]

10 hours ago, SassyCat said:

Oh cripe, Angela's over exaggeration of lip pursuing ability is already driving me crazy, as is Nicoles slurring her sentences into one long non enunciated word.

angela realy thinks she is all that doesnt she? ugh.

[nlkm9]

7 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I think all of your theories are correct re: Derek. Just put "Bach audition" as the third bullet point.

it reminded me if ben and his "im unloveable". I really hope derek isnt that depressed and that was fakery.

so a few weeks ago i said kristina claims she doesnt want to be a doormat but in coming attractions we see she doesn in fact want blake back and she does want to be a doormat. sadly, the girl looks much prettier when she is smiling which rarely happpens. ugh.

[nlkm9]

8 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Sorry, no can do.  She went on one date with JPJ, and they had a nice time.  He did not declare his undying love, or propose.  Sure he should have told her sooner about his feelings for Tayshia, but he apologized for that.  But still, she has gone on, and on, and on, and on, and cried and cried and cried and cried.  (And I don't like defending JPJ, because he has behaved like a real ass in Paradise IMHO.)

I sympathize and remember what it was like in college when I was young, infatuated, maybe a little drunk and a guy was all about me and ignored me the next day-it is hurtful and uneccesary. JPJ went into ful makeout mode on every single date and there are actually people who take that more seriously and I appreciate that. he WAS selfish and he DID mess with her emotions and I was glad she called him out. but she needs to look for someone who is not looking for a rose, another words leave the reality show circuit and live a normal life.

[nlkm9]

On 8/28/2019 at 8:13 PM, chocolatine said:

On 8/31/2019 at 6:30 PM, OnceSane said:

so who is shocked on coming attractions abour blake and kristina miss "im noones doormat but Ill spend all season making sure blake isnt wth anyone" I really cannot stand her and her overly filled face.

[DEL901]

Random thoughts:

LOL that Chris was Bachelor Nation Regular and this week he is Bachelor Nation Elder. 

There are 3 episodes  left.  There are 2rose ceremonies, overnight dates and the big finale: who can be strong armed into proposing.  So much drama, so little time.  (And don’t forget, there are yet more people coming into the show)

eta I forgot ... there is also an after the final rose show which is the final episode and just filmed last week.   

Edited September 3, 2019 by DEL901

[JudyObscure]

8 hours ago, nutty1 said:

I can’t be the only one who thinks that Farmer Matt looks like Jake Pavelka!?

I knew I hated him on site.  Sydney finally gets a date and it's with this dorky looking guy who still thinks girls have cooties.

1 hour ago, nlkm9 said:

angela realy thinks she is all that doesnt she? ugh.

Yes she does, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on the lip pursing, She has  big buck teeth and a short upper lip and I think she has to really work to stretch that lip down over them.  So she looks like she's puckered up for a kiss by the time it gets there.  Some guy probably told her it looked sexy.

I still like Angela better than smirking Nicole, so proud of her big whiney boyfriend and their "relayship."

This is the worst crop of people Bachelor Nation has ever managed to get together in one spot.  Who is worse, JPJ constantly spewing vomit and snot, Clay showing off his macho muscles while at the same time talking like a spoiled three year old, Blake pouting and feeling sorry for himself non stop the entire season, Matt afraid of his mommy, Dylan treating Hannah like she is his mommy?

I can't even start on the women, I'll just say the two hour Tayshia show was really boring.

[waving feather]

This really is the most undesirable bunch of paradise goers. I haven't found one likeable person. I liked Katie but she is besties with Demi, so she too is questionable.

[Ohwell]

One of the highlights of this incredibly boring season was Katie's incomprehensible yapping when she was trying to tell some guy that she wasn't interested in him.  Or was it that she was interested in him?  All I know is, she had me cracking up. 

[angelamh66]

JPJ is one of those people who just should have stayed home. His image benefited from mystery.  Now its obvious he is a red flag-a-palooza. Say what you want about Derek, but at least he said it was Tayshia's decision to make. 

[MBJ]

4 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

so who is shocked on coming attractions abour blake and kristina miss "im noones doormat but Ill spend all season making sure blake isnt wth anyone" I really cannot stand her and her overly filled face.

Thank you!!!!!!

[JustaGirliegirl]

So when do we get boy on boy?

[LindaT]

Am I the only person who doesn't find Derek good-looking at all? ...And I can't imagine girls would fight over him on The Bachelor.  He just seems like an average OK guy.  

In JPJ's defense, Derek did start that final fight and Derek probably did say something to JPJ that made it sound like he was just there for the fame and then the next thing you know after being all about Demi now he is all about Tayshia.  I get his anger.

Tayshia,  you know you are fueling the fire between these two men.  You have had the power to put a stop to it all along and you didn't do anything until last night. Don't pretend you didn't love Every. Single. Minute!

[Mswldflwr]

We really all should be allowed to start a class action suit on the Bachelor franchise for putting us through this summer shitfest.   Granted, it was never supposed to be Masterpiece Theater.  BUT even with the very low standards we set for this show, it is still not even reaching that level for even a single episode. Granted, I do have the power and authority to quit it.  But that's what I do for my summer trash, I watch Paradise.  I keep hanging on hoping for SOMETHING.  I'm so disappointed in myself.  

Edited September 3, 2019 by Mswldflwr

[sistersledge]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

5 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

so who is shocked on coming attractions abour blake and kristina miss "im noones doormat but Ill spend all season making sure blake isnt wth anyone" I really cannot stand her and her overly filled face.

 Thank you!!!!!!

Agreed. I accidentally stumbled on her instagram page and it's a fairly popular opinion. She likes to respond to these comments too, which is about as annoying as you can imagine. But not as annoying as the hordes of high school girls who defend her... the same gals who think Ashley I and Jared have a magical love story 🙄.

[TiredMe]

47 minutes ago, metalgirl said:

Am I the only person who doesn't find Derek good-looking at all? ...And I can't imagine girls would fight over him on The Bachelor.  He just seems like an average OK guy.  

No you're not the only one. I find him extremely average looking. 

Back to that Matt person- going on about how his mom would be upset if he kissed someone on TV. Dude- what the heck show do you think you're on? Not once but twice! This show is all about kissing on TV. Also I was more bothered by his high pitched voice then I ever have been over Clay's.

[RealHousewife]

15 hours ago, adhoc said:

Hmm, so Derek is 32 and laments that he can't seem to find "the one". (Not sure if I bought that 100%, though.) 

He may be a perfectly okay guy, and it's absolutely possible he has dated a lot but just hasn't found the one. But two other possibilities also occur to me:

• If Derek really does have a pretty good female fan base, could it be that he's actually reluctant to settle with one person just yet? Because who knows if someone better might come along from Bachelor Nation tomorrow, so what's the rush?
• I wonder if he's one of these Bachelor franchise guys whose currency has risen so much (from being on the show) that they're pickier than maybe they used to be.  Like, they cry that they can't find someone, but perhaps they used to be happy dating a "7" and now they require a "9"?  

Purely conjecture. It's just that Derek seems like an okay guy, appears to have a decent job, and he's nice looking, so it's hard to buy that he just can't find anyone...

Edited to add:  What I dope I am! You guys are right. He was simply auditioning for The Bachelor with that sob story. I knew I didn't buy it....

I think he’s also auditioning to be The Bachelor. But I do also think most of these people want other hot people. I’m sure he could get girls left and right. But outside of Bachelor, most girls don’t exactly look like Hannah, Haley, or Tayshia. 

[nlkm9]

1 hour ago, sistersledge said:

Agreed. I accidentally stumbled on her instagram page and it's a fairly popular opinion. She likes to respond to these comments too, which is about as annoying as you can imagine. But not as annoying as the hordes of high school girls who defend her... the same gals who think Ashley I and Jared have a magical love story 🙄.

so what did she mean when she accidentally said stagecoach 2017? also, why does caellyns into show a rose--is it to imply she was almost the bachlorette?

[call me ishmael]

1 hour ago, metalgirl said:

In JPJ's defense, Derek did start that final fight and Derek probably did say something to JPJ that made it sound like he was just there for the fame and then the next thing you know after being all about Demi now he is all about Tayshia.  I get his anger.

How did he start that final fight?  Did I miss something? I admit that he called him John which JPJ doesn't seem to like but otherwise he just tried to talk to him.  JPJ was making out with several women but thought that Derek was sleazy for moving off from being set up with the Demi thing?  JPJ needs to do something about his inability to do anything but talk over people he disagrees with.

[Nowhere]

15 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Yeah, it's  one of my recent pet peeves.  "When" and "whenever " are not interchangeable,  they have different meanings. 

Guilty 😳🤭

12 hours ago, MsTree said:

Except I don't recall Ashley blowing snot into an air-tissue.😷

Yeah she just sucked it back up into her head which was hard enough to hear and see. JPJ has absolutely no manners and I don’t see how that is attractive to anyone. 

3 hours ago, JustaGirliegirl said:

So when do we get boy on boy?

After the first black bachelor? We can only be woke in a certain order. 

2 hours ago, metalgirl said:

Am I the only person who doesn't find Derek good-looking at all? ...And I can't imagine girls would fight over him on The Bachelor.  He just seems like an average OK guy.  

In JPJ's defense, Derek did start that final fight and Derek probably did say something to JPJ that made it sound like he was just there for the fame and then the next thing you know after being all about Demi now he is all about Tayshia.  I get his anger.

Tayshia,  you know you are fueling the fire between these two men.  You have had the power to put a stop to it all along and you didn't do anything until last night. Don't pretend you didn't love Every. Single. Minute!

The only think Derek has going for him is the fact that he resembles Jim Halpert but that character was meant to be average. We all loved Jim because of his personality. He got cuter and cuter with every season of The Office. Unfortunately for Derek, his personality isn’t that good. Although, I did appreciate how he handled JPJ last week.

[tennisgurl]

Hold on, did JPJ just say that he has no proof that Derek is some horrible piece of crap, in the same sentence that he said its a "fact" that Derek disrespects women? The fuck? There is something either seriously wrong with JPJ, or his "quirky" performance is falling apart. He is all over the place, going from angry and argumentative to sobbing and miserable to cheerful and flopping around, and half of what he says lately just makes no sense. I also think he handled things with the twin badly. Yeah he wasn't married to her or anything, and dating around is the whole point of the show, but she really thought they had something, and he really downplayed his whole obsession with Tayshia. He has gone from being an amusing sideshow to a serious dickhead who can hardly string a sentence together. His rambling about how Derek uses women is ridiculous considering he seems to do the same thing.

Its pretty rich watching Nicole get all bent out of shape about Angela being around when not too long ago she dumped Clay like a hot potato when some new hot guys showed up, and she was all hot and bothered watching them fight over her. She only went back to Clay when their dumbasses both got kicked off the show, while she soaked in the drama of being faught over. 

They really are scraping the bottom of the Bachelor barrel lately, huh? All of these joke characters and first night exits, have enough of Bachelor Nation actually decided that they have better things to do?! None of these people are any kind of Grocery Store Joe, thats for sure. 

Derek is so going hard on his Bachelor audition, you almost imagine seeing "For Your Consideration" flashing on the bottom while he was crying about never finding love. But still, I do feel for him, especially after the whole Demi debacle. I do think he liked her, and was really hurt when she ditched him, and even more when Demi was allowed to just hang out with her girlfriend who she left him for, defying all logic and rules of the show to this point, and now gets ditched again, after having too sit through JPH scream at him for days on end over a girl who, again, ditched him, this time not even for another guy. I just think he saw this opportunity and decided to make the best of it and turn it into his audition tape. 

Remember when this show used to be fun summer fluff?  Yeah those were the days, right? This just isn't fun anymore, its just annoying and draggy. Not even the people on the show seem to be having much fun, they all just seem to cry and scream and gossip and be miserable and spiteful all of the time, I have no idea why anyone even wants to be here anymore, beyond basic fame whoreing. It doesn't help that this season is one of the least appealing casts in Paradise history, where even people I liked in their original seasons ( like Nicole and Blake) have all apparently become selfish shallow assholes. Its just sad at this point.

[leighdear]

This show has just become too predictable, the characters too one-dimensional, too manipulated, too scripted, too annoying, too illogical, too disgusting and too stupid. 

Just "too" everything boring and ridiculous. 

Shark, you HAVE been jumped.  The summer lovin' is over.  

Edited September 3, 2019 by leighdear

[leighdear]

17 hours ago, SassyCat said:

Ahh! So they DO provide Kleenex in paradise and it looks like JPJ was aware of that with his romantic chivalrous gesture of handing Tayshia a handful of them for her one tear. 

I actually think those were cocktail napkins.  And giving them to Tayshia was probably Wells' idea.  

[adhoc]

Does anyone besides me find it creepy--or should I say creepily voyeuristic--that we got a shot of Dylan and Hannah G in what appeared to be a tight, possibly post-coital embrace in the "boom boom" room?

It just strikes me that everything couples do in that room is recorded.  I don't care if the bodies are under the covers. Stuff happens. (I think we once saw a couple try to cover the cameras one season, didn't we?)

I can't help but think Mike Fleiss and random salacious minions had a great time poring over that footage. (Well, I'm not sure if Fleiss presently has access. But whatever.)  Strikes me as pervy. YMMV

[LuvMyShows]

3 hours ago, Mswldflwr said:

We really all should be allowed to start a class action suit on the Bachelor franchise for putting us through this summer shitfest.   Granted, it was never supposed to be Masterpiece Theater.  BUT even with the very low standards we set for this show, it is still not even reaching that level for even a single episode. Granted, I do have the power and authority to quit it.  But that's what I do for my summer trash, I watch Paradise.  I keep hanging on hoping for SOMETHING.  I'm so disappointed in myself.  

Truthfully, I've never liked BiP, but I watch it because stuff will happen that will be relevant in Bachelor Nation going forward, so I do it to keep up.  I liked Bachelor Pad so much better!

37 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

After the first black bachelor? We can only be woke in a certain order. 

Love this!!

16 hours ago, lizajane said:

Why (or is it now whyever) has the word "when" been eliminated and replaced with whenever? Is this a regional thing?? I have been hearing this all over the place mostly from people a generation younger than me, and it drives me nuts! I was an A student in English, and must have missed this class.

Preach!  I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has noticed this and hates it.

[Wandering Snark]

1 hour ago, tennisgurl said:

Remember when this show used to be fun summer fluff?  Yeah those were the days, right? This just isn't fun anymore, its just annoying and drag

Exactly, like I was saying the show made a huge turn away from the initial seasons and it coincides with the "changes" they made after the "shutdown".

Now it's a freaking soap opera about damaged people stuck in a small social circle that live on tv and are obsessed with kissing. This year added the bonus that most of them aren't even attractive (especially damage/dumbassery considered).

[Tatortot]

Like I said before they need to put limits on these people as to how many times they can come back, it is getting ridiculous with some of them.  Obviously you need to try something else.

Maybe they should have a show about this "stagecoach" thing.

[Wandering Snark]

3 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

so what did she mean when she accidentally said stagecoach 2017?

I think she literally believed it's currently 2017 and not 2019. Scary.

[hilaryvm]

11 minutes ago, Tatortot said:

Like I said before they need to put limits on these people as to how many times they can come back, it is getting ridiculous with some of them.  Obviously you need to try something else.

Maybe they should have a show about this "stagecoach" thing.

Is it just me that whenever they mention stagecoach, I picture the Fyre festival?

I told a friend recently that it appears the people on this show are unaware that there are ways to talk to people that don't involve kissing.  I mean, a 5 minute conversation and they're locking lips!  I know a lot of them know each other but it still seems a little crazy to me.

[cinsays]

11 minutes ago, hilaryvm said:

 I mean, a 5 minute conversation and they're locking lips!  I know a lot of them know each other but it still seems a little crazy to me.

Five minutes?  that is being generous...…..some of these people just dive in after a quick hello

[kita]

I want to punch Demi's smug face in every time she makes all these facial expressions in the background.

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN'T BE HERE, DEMI, HAVE YOU SEEN A MIRROR LATELY

[DEL901]

The whole show films in 21 days.  Even the “long term” couples have only been together for 3 weeks.   

I blame Marcus and Lacey for the changes.  That first wedding, never mind that it wasn’t legal and she ghosted him not long after... that became the goal.  Bachelor Pad had the money and competitions and I can only remember 1 marriage.  BiP has only bunk beds, booze and the chance for screen time.