S03.E11: Secret, Secret, I've Got a Secret

[magemaud]

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

But what I came here to say is, while I don’t believe any of this storyline is true, could Caesar’s ticket purchase for Maria been declined because he doesn’t know the necessary information to purchase it (name, address, passport #, etc.)? 

[Honey]

3 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Tiny Tim specializes in customizing revolvers and 1911 pistols in a lot of rather artistic ways.  So, he might have the least manly gun shop in America. 

The way I see it, Michael is earning all the cash he gets from Angela by putting up with her and, even worse, having sex with her.   If Angela treated him well, I'd hate him for taking advantage of her.  But, they sort of deserves each other.

This is Avery we're talking about.  She would be overpriced at $6 let alone $6,000.

I also felt like Fidel was sort of hazing Benjamin with the fish brains.  I get the idea that it would be rude to refuse food that, by their standards, was very expensive. But, making him eat the brains seem like Fidel just being mean. 

As someone who HATES fish (and chicken), if I had watched him pull the head off that fish, THEN suggest that I eat the brains, I would have vomited all over their floor.  Akinyi said special food for guests was fish or chicken, and to refuse it would be disrespectful since it costs so much money.  It seems as though chicken would be cheap since they're running around on the streets, how hard could it be to catch one?  As a host, I would never want someone to eat something that they didn't like.  I would feel terrible knowing they were gagging it down just to be "respectful".  That's bullshit.  If I were Ben I would head over to the Air B&B, grab a nice steak from a restaurant, and get some REAL sleep.  Then I would count Akinyi as just a friend, and have her play tour guide for the duration of my stay, if she would.  Pressure off, they might have some fun.

[humbleopinion]

Is Rebecca, Jenny and Ange in the mature ladies ad?

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Poor Mah-Kuhl.  He’s not allowed to work and he’s not allowed to hang out with his friends or be anywhere that he might encounter “wimmen.” So what DOES he do all day when Ange is thousands of miles away? 

Looks like a large part of the time is spent eating. 

[magemaud]

I hate fish, too, and if I was in Ben’s position I would have faked a seafood allergy. 

3 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Is Rebecca, Jenny and Ange in the mature ladies ad?

No, these lipstick models look very classy and well groomed 

Edited September 9, 2019 by magemaud

[hookedontv]

1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

Is Rebecca, Jenny and Ange in the mature ladies ad?

They would qualify in chronological years, but are psychologically the age of girls shopping at Forever 21 and Claire's at the mall.

Throw Darcey in that group too!

[Honey]

3 hours ago, Drogo said:

Ah yes, this is where we've seen Tom's ex before: 

I thought she looked like an Amy Winehouse impersonator.

[humbleopinion]

If eating fish brains will improve your reputation in the eyes of Fidel and Mother Akinky then Benji should eat them enthusiastically and thank them profusely for the honor of such  expensive foods bought for his visit...

They thought enough of Benjamin to spend the extra money on a WHOLE fish and not "parts is parts"...

Again if Benj had taken 5minutes to research the culture which includes foods then he wouldn't look so stupid, clueless and uncaring...

Fidel can't believe that Akinky was so stupid to invite this dude....

[Frozendiva]

I do have a enfold allergy. I would have declined to eat the fish. And walked out.

[magemaud]

Actually these colors remind me of that awful brownish color lipstick Jenny wears (forgive me for talking about TOW) 

Edited September 9, 2019 by magemaud

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, Honey said:

I thought she looked like an Amy Winehouse impersonator.

She also looks like Janice... Chandler's gf from Friends...a drunkened Janice with slurred speech from booze and lip filler.....and boob implants that sit a little too low....

[Mothra]

On 9/8/2019 at 10:30 AM, humbleopinion said:

She could have worn cuff jewelry if she wanted to hide her wrist tats.

Or tattoo-covering makeup, which I found several brands of easily on Google.  She wouldn't need to cover her whole arm, just the lower part that showed.

[humbleopinion]

The way Jenny slathers on her lipstick reminds me of the sad clowns at the circus....

[Bryce Lynch]

2 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

Not sure why calling him a holy man is a bad thing, she didn't know the proper term.  Honestly, how many Americans know that much about Muslims?  I know a little bit, but I definitely don't know what an imam is.  I have a college education, and I have traveled the world, I am not an idiot, but I really don't know much about different religions.  I have respect for all religions, but don't know much about them.  Unless I was seeking out info, not sure when I would learn it.

And what exactly was the problem?  Akini turned on him and wouldn't tell him why.  She is an asshole.  He is probably tired, he is definitely nervous, in a country he doesn't know... I don't know why he didn't get the f out, and hop on a plane home.

I think he was just nervous, he seems to be kind of socially awkward.  Akini should have mentioned to him that he would be headed to her family's house right away, and to grab a gift is it is SOOO important to her family.  He thought he was headed to the airbnb. 

And they were not the friendliest, most welcoming group.  Whether someone shows up with a gift or not should NOT preclude the family from treating him kindly, he is the guest!

Can you imagine if Ben brought Akini to Arizona and:

1) At the last minute told her that she would not be staying at the Airbnb that she had reserved, but with his sister's craphole of a home.

2) Was told that his sister would be keeping an eye on her for the week and that she needed to win over his sister to get his parents to approve of the marriage.

3) Told her that his parents would be demanding a groom price to marry him.

4)  Ben kept telling her that no other black person had ever been in his neighborhood and that they should only go walking at night.

5) Ben told her that his father would probably chase her away with a machete is she made some sort of faux pas when they met. 

6) Ben's sister browbeat her and told her than in American culture a wife needs to get her house in order.  

7) Ben's family deliberately fed her food they knew she would probably find disgusting as some sort of hazing ritual.  

8 )  Ben's father didn't show up for their much anticipated introduction dinner.

9) Ben left the meal after his sister said something to him about Akini and he refused to tell Akini what it was.

Say what you want about Americans, but as a culture, we generally bend over backwards to make our guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Everyone I know would go out of their way to prepare food the guest from a different culture liked, and if they didn't like what was served they would try to find something they did like to eat.  

[Twopper]

I am having a bit of trouble trying to understand the distinction between this series and the  "90 days-the other way" series as both are Americans trying to have relationships/marry people from different countries.   Is it that these Americans hope to bring their foreign lovers to the USA on a VISA and the others want to live in another country forever.  

Angela is probably the trashiest, although if I am ever in  danger, it would be useful for her to appear and beat everyone up.   She seems to have control issues with Michael.   Was the whole scene at the airport set up by TLC?  I didn't really understand the spikes.  Was Michael parked in a tow away zone?  and I still don't understand why she wouldn't get on the boat.  And she handcuffs Michael to a lamp?   I did not need to see him in the Trump underwear.

Caesar--boring.  I just ff thru Mr Jug Ears.  

Tim and Tom--they really don't need two people with such similar names.  It doesn't bother me when they are on screen, but I think my eyes play tricks on me as I read the comments. 

Darcy needs to quit dressing like a sex starved maniac.  Her hair distracts me. 

I expected Zeid to put Rebecca in something more like what Avery has been wearing.  He certainly doesn't impress me with his own taste in clothing.   And  why would the parents have a priceless heirloom where it can be easily knocked over.  Mine are in a china cabinet or a bank box.

I missed the live chat last night due to a lengthy phone call, but I read thru it and there was discussion about a spot on Zied's dad's forehead.  I understand that many very religious muslims may get a spot due to praying 5 times daily.  I wasn't paying close enough attention to see if his was that type.   It seems stupid of Rebecca to go be with him while she is still married.  I don't want to see his reaction when he finds out.

I really don't know what to say about Avery.   If I were her mom, I would have read a lot more about how Avery will be expected to live--especially if she ends up staying over there.  I do realize the aim is to get Omar to the US.   If he is more traditional, she may not like being married to him.   She just seems like a lot of girls I knew who wanted to get married at 18 or 19 just to get away from their family.  I hate that TLC chose to put her on the program. 

[Bryce Lynch]

8 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

If eating fish brains will improve your reputation in the eyes of Fidel and Mother Akinky then Benji should eat them enthusiastically and thank them profusely for the honor of such  expensive foods bought for his visit...

They thought enough of Benjamin to spend the extra money on a WHOLE fish and not "parts is parts"...

Again if Benj had taken 5minutes to research the culture which includes foods then he wouldn't look so stupid, clueless and uncaring...

Fidel can't believe that Akinky was so stupid to invite this dude....

Oh please.  If an American family treated Akini the way her family treated Ben and deliberately tried to get her to eat food they knew she would probably find gross, we'd all be calling them "ugly Americans."  

In any decent culture guests are treated with honor and hospitality and fed what they like to eat.  Either Kenyan culture is lacking in this regard, or (more likely) Akini's family are a poor representation of Kenyan hospitality.  

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Agreed, Rebecca should have brought flowers, sweets, a vase to replace the one she will mow over with her rollie bag instead of a "deflowered" Zeid....

 Benji should have taken the initiative to learn the formal greeting in Akinky's mother's language, he should have never passed her or any family member by and never turn his back  to sit before greeting each person in the room waiting for him...

Benji is just the epitome of the stupid American...not taking the time to learn anything about Akinky's culture...much less the courting culture...who doesn't know about dowries?

Benj can't afford a K1 visa...he is a hot mess in a dumpster fire....

 If you don't know your way around a whole cooked fish then we can't be friends....

Those are just standard rules of polite society.  IMO though, Akinyi should have “presented” Benjamin to her mother first, those were some tight quarters in that room and it was tough to maneuver without putting his back to someone. 

[toodles]

17 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

The bank would call you if you forgot to make a payment on your credit card or if someone tried to use the number fraudulently. They would call if you don't usually make a charge for the Ukraine. Chances are that most people making an unusual transaction or going to a foreign country would let their bank/credit card provider know so they would expect some transactions.

The whole thing doesn't make a bit of sense.  I bought something online from the UK a couple of weeks ago and I got a text from my bank 10 minutes later.

I know better than to think about this show.  I end up with a headache.

[Honey]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Me too. Wow, nothing hotter than a napkin swan. Seeing one of those just makes your clothes fall right off.

Just like tequila.  😉

[hookedontv]

8 minutes ago, iwasish said:

 IMO though, Akinyi should have “presented” Benjamin to her mother first, those were some tight quarters in that room and it was tough to maneuver without putting his back to someone. 

I agree -- If I was bringing over a new friend or significant other to my house, I would be the one making the introductions and I wouldn't expect the guest to have to introduce himself. 

[Mothra]

2 hours ago, Lady Iris said:

I thought that was so rude, if you're in such a rush to eat and not have to exchange or attempt to exchange pleasantries with strangers then get up off your skinny ass and help her.

(about Tim and that lunch)

I didn't think he was in such a hurry to eat as he was for her to return to the table so there could be some conversation.  The silence was beyond awkward.  But he should have excused himself from the table and gone over to help her load up the french fries instead of sounding like a starving two-year-old.

About Tim's shoulders:  I'm trying to see how his shirts, jackets and sweaters have been altered to accommodate his small shoulders, and I can't figure it out.  Poor guy--it looks to me as if he can't buy anything off the rack.  I wish we could see him topless or at least in a wife-beater.

[Bryce Lynch]

3 minutes ago, Mothra said:

(about Tim and that lunch)

I didn't think he was in such a hurry to eat as he was for her to return to the table so there could be some conversation.  The silence was beyond awkward.  But he should have excused himself from the table and gone over to help her load up the french fries instead of sounding like a starving two-year-old.

About Tim's shoulders:  I'm trying to see how his shirts, jackets and sweaters have been altered to accommodate his small shoulders, and I can't figure it out.  Poor guy--it looks to me as if he can't buy anything off the rack.  I wish we could see him topless or at least in a wife-beater.

I agree.  Tiny Tim was trying to end the awkward silence, not get his greasy food more quickly. 

Tim's shoulders didn't seem as close together when he was in the tank top and lying in bed.  I wonder if he was born without a collarbone, like the kid who plays Dustin on "Stranger Things" and when he sits up his shoulders come together.  

[DiamondGirl]

1 hour ago, SadeO said:

Unfortunately I couldn't catch it on TV, and saw some clips on Youtube and of course uncultured trash in the comments think that Akyni and her family want the geeks money or expected him to bring gifts....typical racial stereotypes.

If you didn’t see it, you may not realize this particular situation is not a stereotype. They distinctly told him that he would have to pay the family a “bride price” to marry Akinyi.  He would have to find out the amount from her father, who didn’t end up attending the dinner.

I think it’s not even debatable that gifts should be offered.  It doesn’t matter if you’re going to another continent or to your cousin’s dinner party a mile away.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant or fancy, just a gesture of thoughtfulness.

He has crappy manners and is a big loser in my opinion but he wouldn’t be there if Akinyi didn’t want him there.

[Chippings]

Well said, everybody, and here's another thought I haven't seen above ..  In the brief scene with Zied and his mother hanging up laundry, I was surprised that I actually sort of liked him, from the way he spoke with his mother and looked at her.  He seemed like a genuinely nice kid.

The whole temper thing and jealousy etc - not to mention the whole greasy hair thing - are utter turn-offs.  When all's said & done, I don't like him.  But I was surprised at how "sweet" (sounds odd, but have to say it) he was with his mother.  

Meanwhile his True Love is searching his room, while commenting about it to the camera rolling as it's happening.

Anybody else actually find Zied likable in that moment ?  

[humbleopinion]

All the clothes were dry...Zied’s mother Hanging dry laundry....pretending the clothes were just washed....

She’s all for Zied going to America...she gonna be pissed when she finds out that the tattooed slag is not her son’s ticket to Georgia.....

[Mothra]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Agreed, Rebecca should have brought flowers, sweets, a vase to replace the one she will mow over with her rollie bag instead of a "deflowered" Zeid....

 Benji should have taken the initiative to learn the formal greeting in Akinky's mother's language, he should have never passed her or any family member by and never turn his back  to sit before greeting each person in the room waiting for him...

Benji is just the epitome of the stupid American...not taking the time to learn anything about Akinky's culture...much less the courting culture...who doesn't know about dowries?

Benj can't afford a K1 visa...he is a hot mess in a dumpster fire....

 If you don't know your way around a whole cooked fish then we can't be friends....

Amen to all of this.  Benjamin's parents did not do a very good job raising him if at his age he has such poor manners.  Many of his faux pas would be rude in the US--like not acknowledging the oldest person in the room or (as far as we were shown) not complimenting Akink's family on the dinner--and most of the other things he had been warned about by Akink.

She told him that the food would be special and very expensive for her family, and that it was important to eat all that was served to him.  Even if he gagged on the fish brains, he could have saved himself by saying, "Let me try this part" and then yum-yuming it up.  He is not a little kid.  He is able to choke food down and pretend that it is delicious, especially since he knows it is important to his being able to marry his girlfriend.

And why in hell didn't he say to Fidel, "I want to go out and buy a gift for your parents for when we go to dinner at their house?"

These are apparently poor people who are welcoming him with the best they have, and he is showing absolutely no gratitude or appreciation of their generosity or the beauty of their culture.

And you're right--he should have learned a few words, enough to say "hello" and "please" and "thank you."  In addition to being the courteous thing to do, it would have pleased Fidel to no end to be asked to help him in this way.

I don't care a whit about his body hair; I care about his rudeness and stupidity.

Oh yeah: and when Fidel told him about how his divorce would be seen, Benjamin could have pointed out that in the US he was responsible for taking care of his ex-wife until she married someone else, and responsible for his son until he reached adulthood.  So much for not having his house in order.

[nutella fitzgerald]

3 hours ago, HaaCHOO said:

And if the various "rules" she gave that were to be followed immediately upon entering the room, perhaps a quick reminder before they open the door would be a courtesy.  Courtesy?  Who ever heard of such a thing?  She's a Nigerian princess.

Definitely not saying Creepy Akinyi of the Talking Walls is perfect here, but...

If you arrange a visit specifically for your boyfriend to meet your family and met with him ahead of time to let him know he should make sure to greet said family members, is it really hanging him out to dry if you don’t think to remind him, “the people who live in this dwelling are related to me, please remember the human beings you are about to see ARE NOT FURNITURE,” immediately before entry?

[heatherchandler]

1 hour ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Can you imagine if Ben brought Akini to Arizona and:

1) At the last minute told her that she would not be staying at the Airbnb that she had reserved, but with his sister's craphole of a home.

2) Was told that his sister would be keeping an eye on her for the week and that she needed to win over his sister to get his parents to approve of the marriage.

3) Told her that his parents would be demanding a groom price to marry him.

4)  Ben kept telling her that no other black person had ever been in his neighborhood and that they should only go walking at night.

5) Ben told her that his father would probably chase her away with a machete is she made some sort of faux pas when they met. 

6) Ben's sister browbeat her and told her than in American culture a wife needs to get her house in order.  

7) Ben's family deliberately fed her food they knew she would probably find disgusting as some sort of hazing ritual.  

8 )  Ben's father didn't show up for their much anticipated introduction dinner.

9) Ben left the meal after his sister said something to him about Akini and he refused to tell Akini what it was.

Say what you want about Americans, but as a culture, we generally bend over backwards to make our guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Everyone I know would go out of their way to prepare food the guest from a different culture liked, and if they didn't like what was served they would try to find something they did like to eat.  

YES!  If he treated her the way she is treating him, in the US, we would think he is cruel!

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Attention potential suitors going overseas to meet their online soulmates...and of course your love bucket is to help you pick what is appropriate for her family member...

Bring bouquets of flowers, scarves, perfumed lotions to the older female family members...a big hit is vitamins manufactured in the US...think Costco sized bottles of Multivitamins...

Bring Special local sweets or special fruit, high class booze, or fancy cigarettes to the male  heads of family...

Bring name brand stuff like  Nike caps, NBA t shirts for boys, cute purses, makeup for the female teens...or cash is good....

 You must bring gifts...it shows a thoughtfulness and a thanks in advance for their hospitality...you want them to like you and  bribes are always welcome....

Never go empty handed...it is rude...Ben is blowing his chances with Akinky by stiffing the brother but especially the mother....that is unforgivable....

Ben thought he was going to an airbnb... so he didn't even know he was going there.  Then she introduces him to no one... he doesn't know who anyone is.  He doesn't speak the language.  I would be totally lost in this scenario. 

The thing to me is - what is more rude - not bringing gifts to a party you didn't know you were going to, or treating your GUEST like shit?  And then talking about him in front of him in a language he doesn't understand, telling him you are mad at him and that no one likes him? 

I think we can all agree - the first rule of polite society is to treat your guests with kindness!

1 hour ago, Honey said:

As someone who HATES fish (and chicken), if I had watched him pull the head off that fish, THEN suggest that I eat the brains, I would have vomited all over their floor.  Akinyi said special food for guests was fish or chicken, and to refuse it would be disrespectful since it costs so much money.  It seems as though chicken would be cheap since they're running around on the streets, how hard could it be to catch one?  As a host, I would never want someone to eat something that they didn't like.  I would feel terrible knowing they were gagging it down just to be "respectful".  That's bullshit.  If I were Ben I would head over to the Air B&B, grab a nice steak from a restaurant, and get some REAL sleep.  Then I would count Akinyi as just a friend, and have her play tour guide for the duration of my stay, if she would.  Pressure off, they might have some fun.

Same!

The thing is, he was kind about trying the fish, he said it was good... what more did they want from him?

[Ijustwantsomechips]

17 hours ago, Sterling said:

Interesting....I didn't know the dowry could go the other way, from bride to groom.

Either way, you're right....Avery becomes Omar's property, and he is free to take on additional wives.

While he does seem like a nice guy, I have to wonder about his motives, i.e. moving from Syria to the U.S.

I can't believe she's going through all this for a religion she just converted to, 6 months ago.  

Avery is a damned fool!  I spent the first 30+years of my life being Baptist only to realize after two or three church services that I was more spiritually fulfilled as non-denominational.  Fast forward four or five years and I’m a God-fearing Christian who is fed up with organized religion and no longer attends church.  I said all that to say there’s no way I could make the decision Avery is making.  What I thought I believed changed drastically, sometimes over the course of years, sometimes weeks.  I haven’t left Christianity but I can see how choosing a spouse solely on any of those denominations might have been problematic in the future once my beliefs changed.  

If Avery was this serious about Islam, she should have done a study abroad somewhere, worked for a humanitarian agency or government contractor in a predominantly Muslim country, or took her silly ass to Dearborn, MI to live for a year or two before committing to marriage.  She has no idea what she’s in for.  

[charmed1]

59 minutes ago, Mothra said:

I wish we could see him topless or at least in a wife-beater.

Ew! Why? We did see him in a sleeveless undershirt at the AirBnB. It was beyond a bird chest. I don’t even know how to categorize it. Hatchling chest? My dog’s more buff than Tim and he only weighs 15lbs. 

Jennifffer and all the other “hot babes” are just human versions of Tim’s car. This all seems to be his way of sticking it to the bullies who gave him hell in high school. But he lacks the confidence to really pull off a “How Ya Like Me Now?” and seems to be quite passive and awkward. He seems more like a theater kid who doesn’t know how to be himself so he tries to be the cock sure player type guy. But fails miserably. He should move from his hometown.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Mothra said:

I wish we could see him topless or at least in a wife-beater.

We saw Tim in a tank top in bed, I don’t need to see any more skin 

[mamadrama]

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I don't see how Akini's family can be so picky.  Did we  not see the country and home her parents are locked into.  The ally ways and street people.  Scared me.

I would think they would see him as a blessing.  Who in the heck are they to judge???

I  mean, I grew up dirt poor but I still had standards...I still had plenty of good qualities to offer a man (or a woman) and as bad off as we were I was still raised to hold my head high and not to feel like I was "less" than anyone else. 

When my daughter and son choose life partners, I will consider it a blessing if the person is kind, treats my child well, and loves them. 

Akyini's family just seems sketchy all the way around. They're treating him oddly, but not telling him why. He looks bemused by the whole thing. 

Edited September 9, 2019 by mamadrama

[BradandJanet]

I suspect a lot of producer interference in the Ben/Akinyi scenes, as with the rest of this show. Ben may well have bought a gift that wasn't shown during filming. The fish head was a "test" we knew was coming. 

I was served a fish head once, although I didn't feel I was being tested. I did my best with it and then declared myself full, satisfied, and happy. I admire Benny for chomping into it with such gusto.  

[blubld43]

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

I am having a bit of trouble trying to understand the distinction between this series and the  "90 days-the other way" series as both are Americans trying to have relationships/marry people from different countries.   Is it that these Americans hope to bring their foreign lovers to the USA on a VISA and the others want to live in another country forever.  

Before the 90 Days refers to the fact that these couples are in the early stages of their relationship, they are not yet engaged. The 90 days officially starts when the fiance comes to the U.S. to prepare for the wedding, IF that is the goal.

The other show are Americans who have decided to move permanently overseas, to be with their loved one. They presumably will not be having any 90 days, not in the U.S.

Edited September 9, 2019 by blubld43

[magemaud]

Was anybody else going through Forum Withdrawal this morning? 

[Scarlett45]

18 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I looked it up and it is for the groom but there was also a mention of a 'dowry' that the bride's family pays. Avery becomes Omar's property.

Yes- a dowry is traditionally paid by the brides’ family to the groom (or the groom’s family). If a divorce happens or the husband dies leaving the wife no assets the wife can use this money/assets to live on.

A bride price is paid by the groom (like Benjamin) to the bride’s family as payment for taking the bride and her skills away from her family, also as a reimbursement for the raising of said woman.  

[cinsays]

Just now, magemaud said:

Was anybody else going through Forum Withdrawal this morning? 

YES, it was awful...….

Not sure what the update did, but glad it is over and we are back to normal.

[Pondlass1]

Why was Big Ange so rattled about the boat?  They drove all that way, parked, and she suddenly went ballistic because of an old photo of Michael on a boat with a woman in the background. He’s a suddenly a liar. She’s staying in a hotel and Michael can do what he likes, he ain’t staying with her! 

Thank goodness these American fools have camera crews with them all the time. Much of it is staged of course, and the families are obviously awkward with cameras and lighting etc in their small homes. 

But if many of this this bunch abroad were on their own they’d be in big trouble. I’d be googling like crazy to learn about cultures and countries before I embarked on such a life changing endeavour 

Edited September 9, 2019 by Pondlass1

[blubld43]

2 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Was anybody else going through Forum Withdrawal this morning? 

Yes! I wanted to talk about last night's episode!

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Wow, this is seriously offensive.

So because people are poor and live in a developing country, Akinyi's family should be happy for any ol' white dude to take their daughter off their hands, no matter who he is and how he treats her?

Last time I checked, wealth didn't determine one's humanity.

"Who the heck are they to judge?" I don't know...parents who love their daughter? I wasn't aware that parental love was correlated with wealth or birthplace.

I actually think this is one of the worst things about this series. The Americans (some,not all) who are average looking and in some cases questionable employment and housing (Larry's RV) going into poorer, developing countries and picking out hot partners (some extremely younger than them) and then expecting for that partner and their family to be eternally grateful for "rescuing" the person. I don't even feel that way when I'm selecting a dog at the shelter; they really shouldn't feel that way when choosing a partner. 

[jennylauren123]

19 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I thought Omar had to pay the dowry to Avery's family, but I might have misunderstood it. I just don't get the logic behind dowries. It seems so archaic to me.

19 hours ago, Sterling said:

Yes, the groom's family pays the dowry to the wife's family.

As Omar was explaining, this is really the only financial benefit the woman will ever get.  I was shocked when he said with a divorce, the woman only gets around 8% of the total assets.  

$6000 seems an extremely small amount to pay in that circumstance, but then again, I guess that's why so many women view marriage as so "sacred".  They literally cannot leave.

If Avery goes through with this marriage, she is so screwed.  

19 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I looked it up and it is for the groom but there was also a mention of a 'dowry' that the bride's family pays. Avery becomes Omar's property.

18 hours ago, Sterling said:

Interesting....I didn't know the dowry could go the other way, from bride to groom.

I looked it up, too!

From what I understand, a dowry goes from the bride's family to the husband's family. Money going from the husband's family to the wife's family is referred to as a "bride price" or "bride service."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry

2 hours ago, magemaud said:

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

There's one right above this text box as I type this. Drives me crazy! (Even though I am considered a "mature" woman...)

Edited September 9, 2019 by jennylauren123

[Gobi]

38 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

Why was Big Ange so rattled about the boat?  They drove all that way, parked, and she suddenly went ballistic because of an old photo of Michael on a boat with a woman in the background. He’s a suddenly a liar. She’s staying in a hotel and Michael can do what he likes, he ain’t staying with her! 

Thank goodness these American fools have camera crews with them all the time. Much of it is staged of course, and the families are obviously awkward with cameras and lighting etc in their small homes. 

But if many of this this bunch abroad were on their own they’d be in big trouble. I’d be googling like crazy to learn about cultures and countries. 

I wasn’t paying close attention. I think she was mad because he said that he had never been on a boat before, and she remembered a photo of him on a boat from Facebook. I don’t think that the woman in said photo was the cause, as she clearly wasn’t with him. Of course, with Grangela who knows?

Edited September 9, 2019 by Gobi
Spelling

[humbleopinion]

Ange is just picking on Michael because she loves that sloppy, steamy, loud, wall shaking angry passionate make up sex...

Ha! Ruined everyone's dinner...

 Granny was mad that he spent the $60 she sent to him on the boat ride in the photo with his cousin and didn't wait for her to celebrate his birthday...she likes to humble brag that she sends him money so she can dictate what he does with it....

Edited September 9, 2019 by humbleopinion

[MajorNelson]

4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

That scene with Tim and his espicy Latina in her grandparents kitchen when Jeniffffer is plating up the food...Tim barking, "Are you done yet?" was not a good look for him. 

I know what was up with Tim.  He had anxiety sitting there alone with her grandparents and unable to converse.  Instead of barking like he did, he could have asked if she'd be back soon, or better...if she could translate from there.

[humbleopinion]

Or he could have gotten up off his dainty ass and helped his gf bring the plates over..

Surprised Jennifer didn't use the paper plate of slop to pie him in his fugly face...that would have gotten a smile from grandad.....

[Gobi]

3 hours ago, magemaud said:

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

I used to get ads for gay cruises. Don’t know if they gave up or gay cruise season is over.

[Annymin]

So.... I am half embarrassed to admit that Tim's beauty routine intrigued me so much that I had to order those gold under eyes patch thingies.  Amazon Prime is the devil, ya'll.  They will arrive tomorrow and I'll let you know if they work.  After all, if Tim uses them and shares them with Jeniffer, they must be magic.  

[Pepper Mostly]

3 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Say what you want about Americans, but as a culture, we generally bend over backwards to make our guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Everyone I know would go out of their way to prepare food the guest from a different culture liked, and if they didn't like what was served they would try to find something they did like to eat.  

Unless, of course, you are on 90DF. Then you bring your intended home to meet your family and friends. Straight from the airport, after an hours long flight. You drag them to a barbecue or to your best pal's house (extra points if they're a member of the opposite sex!), where the hapless fiancé(e) is rudely grilled, accused of scamming, or pointedly asked what you see in their loved one. All before anyone is offered so much as a glass of water. 

[KateHearts]

5 hours ago, A-Lo said:

My twins are new dentists and weren't considered "doctors" until they'd completed all of their schooling and passed their board exams.

it may be different for dentists, but people who graduate medical school (after 4 years) are called "Doctor," but it's really just in title only. They have to complete a residency before they can actually practice.

[TwirlyGirly]

5 hours ago, HaaCHOO said:

The man's family pays a dowry to the woman's family.  If something happens and the man cannot support his wife (his death or divorce), the dowry comes into play.

In Islam, the term is "mahr". The mahr is paid by the groom to the bride:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahr