S04.E13: Judgement Day/S04.E14: Tell All

[Spike]

6 minutes ago, 100Proof said:

Not to mention his side job as a Justin Timberlake lookalike

I think he appears to be a better lawyer and better looking because the bar is so low with the um eccentric lawyers TLC usually serves up.  And some of his sartorial choices are dubious.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, BoomerRumor said:

I'm quite mystified as what we are supposed to respect her for.

I'm always confused as to which days are okay for this disrespect?  Is there some sort of public calendar?

[Spike]

20 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I'm always confused as to which days are okay for this disrespect?  Is there some sort of public calendar?

It’s hard to respect someone with giraffe eyelashes.

[Mrs. Hanson]

10 hours ago, moonbunnychan said:

I'm not saying Larissa is blameless or did nothing wrong...or isn't a vain and demanding but....if I was in her position I'm not sure how pleasant I'd be either.  I don't for a second believe Debbie is the sweet old lady she portrays on camera, and was probably up in her business constantly.  I wouldn't want to be newly married and in that kind of situation either.  And the Colt shown less edited in these Tell Alls seems just like a COMPLETE ass.  I'm not sure how long I could stand it.

I think all three of them are to blame and color me shallow but that voice of Debbie's would cause me to day drink.  There is something of that tone that is just.......argh.

It would be one thing to have you share your home with a third party, like your hubby's college roomie who is crashing there, and to have your hubby side with his "bro."  But to know he will side with his mommy??  Eeek.

11 hours ago, BoomerRumor said:

I'm quite mystified as what we are supposed to respect her for.

Okay, Sped teacher here and I love my K-5 setting.  Why, you ask?  Holy moly in a middle school or high school that is ALL YOU HEAR, ALL DAMN DAY:  "Dude disrespected me!!""  Me: "Over what?"  "He was looking at me funny."  My real voice says let's move on, my inside my head voice says Dude get over yourself, you are failing school and work part time at Cub Foods.*

*= I used to work part time at Cub Foods, no judgement there, they act like they are a multi million dollar athlete or something.

Edited July 23, 2019 by Mrs. Hanson

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, Kid said:

 Coltee Gets text from Larissa and he doesn’t know how to feel. So, what does he do?  Goes downstairs and talks to his mommy so that she can tell him how to feel.   EWWWWW!  Just EWWWWW!

Yes, that dialogue/situation was WEIRD!

[antfitz]

18 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Yes, that dialogue/situation was WEIRD!

 Everything about coltie and his mother's relationship is weird.

[DiamondGirl]

11 hours ago, Gobi said:

The bear eats the egg and then, well, you know.

But has Karen figured out if the refrigerator light stays on with the door closed?  I’m pretty sure Thomas’ light is not always on.

When Debbie was replanting her husband’s remains in the dirt yard and Norman Colt came out there, they were holding hands at the table.  They broke quickly I think when the camera focused on it. 

Between The Wart and the Uncertain Chromosomes that comprise Colt’s physique, I don’t know where to look.

[zillabreeze]

OK I just Can't with TLC anymore.  I DO love my shit TV, but Sunday night I need some PBS/ABC brain bleach, so's I don't end up a blithering idiot.

If I tell my DVR to only record "NEW" 90 Day.  Then I get 90 Day ALL. THE DAMN TIME.  "Expanded" "New Content".  Pray tell, TLC,  how do you add "new Content, and it's still a damn hour?  The first episode was TWO hours, how do you "Expand" it into a ONE hour episode?  The math doesn't work!  

Yet here I am!  

Aargh.  These people are becoming so boring with the same ol' BS, arguments, bandage dresses and my eyes are exhausted just watching these women  trying to prop up those caterpillars on their eyelids.

Oh and Mother Debbie! Axt Coltee for two bills to get that mole cut off your f-ing face!  You are not Cindy Crawford or Marilyn Monroe! It's not a beauty mark, it's hideous.  At least have it moved to the tip of your nose as required in the wicked witch playbook.

  Now, I gotta fight with my DVR to find something to FF through.

[blubld43]

17 hours ago, Spike said:

Before or after he passed?

No! Gregory Hines doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as mama Chantel!

[Polliwollidoodle]

1 minute ago, zillabreeze said:

OK I just Can't with TLC anymore.  I DO love my shit TV, but Sunday night I need some PBS/ABC brain bleach, so's I don't end up a blithering idiot.

If I tell my DVR to only record "NEW" 90 Day.  Then I get 90 Day ALL. THE DAMN TIME.  "Expanded" "New Content".  Pray tell, TLC,  how do you add "new Content, and it's still a damn hour?  The first episode was TWO hours, how do you "Expand" it into a ONE hour episode?  The math doesn't work!  

Yet here I am!  

Preach! I get all psyched to watch each Sunday/Monday and then they drag it out so much that I end up dozing off and I am forever missing all the stuff people are talking about on here. My husband jokes that the show must have a tranquilizer in it because I cannot seem to stay awake enough to watch it!!!!

[Baltimore Betty]

Not one scene with Larissa and her "boyfriend" was believable, it was like watching porn actors trying to deliver lines, awkward, bad timing, so unnatural.  Did she say he was only 26?  He certainly had a lot of grey in his hair.

Chantal's boobs are getting as long as Larissa's ass.  Did Pedro look a little fuller all over?  His face/head looked so round all of the sudden.

Ashley delivering her lines about where Jay was (after Coltee asked) was another moment in Acting 101, she is so full of shit her eyes are brown.

Colt's demeaner is strange, is he on meds? He seems super calm, his speech has a super flat affectation. Even when he was talking about his new car with AC it seemed like he was flat lining.  Please give Mother Coltee some money to get those things cut off of her face.  Speaking of the car, do we think that was in the garage the whole time and the other car was used just to make for more drama?

Nicole, why even have her on the tell all, not only does she not have a relationship she won't answer any questions.

I think I watched the whole thing, not sure because I learned nothing new.

[Kid]

1 hour ago, blubld43 said:

No! Gregory Hines doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as mama Chantel!

Amen!!!!!

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, zillabreeze said:

If I tell my DVR to only record "NEW" 90 Day.  Then I get 90 Day ALL. THE DAMN TIME.  "Expanded" "New Content".  Pray tell, TLC,  how do you add "new Content, and it's still a damn hour?  The first episode was TWO hours, how do you "Expand" it into a ONE hour episode?  The math doesn't work!  

They can't sell as much advertising time for a repeat, so they have space for added scenes.

[Persnickety1]

11 hours ago, RealReality said:

I'm always confused as to which days are okay for this disrespect?  Is there some sort of public calendar?

I sat here in a state of confusion when she said that, "Not on THIS day!" or whatever it was.

Well, wait, Chantel...does that mean it was okay to disrespect you yesterday?  Is it going to be okay to disrespect you tomorrow?  

10 hours ago, Spike said:

It’s hard to respect someone with giraffe eyelashes.

She looks like Clarisse from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with those lashes.

Except Clarisse was much more animated.  

Maybe she and Pedro could find their own Island of Misfit Toys.  

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Colt's demeaner is strange, is he on meds? He seems super calm, his speech has a super flat affectation. 

After watching him pound down the JD, I think he's drunk most of the time.

Quote

She looks like Clarisse from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with those lashes.

I was thinking Geoffrey the Giraffe mascot for Toys R Us.

[Drogo]

[Porkchop]

I would like to thank the person who first said Bith Phtew! It never fails to make me laugh. I love it.

You done good!

[sasha206]

Just now, Porkchop said:

I would like to thank the person who first said Bith Phtew! It never fails to make me laugh. I love it.

You done good!

I think that was the fabulous Toaster Strudel?

[Lesia]

Awful.  What an Awful AWFUL episode.  If Chantel and Pedro actually got together innocently enough on vacation, whatever, then that's what you get for thinking that the sex was enough to create a marriage.  God... and Ashley and Jay- same thing.  Passion and sex at the beginning is almost NEVER enough of a base to create a relationship for years and years.  Yes, it can happen, but usually vacation hook ups should remain that way.  They're all idiots.  No desire AT ALL to watch Family Chantel.  

[Lady Iris]

41 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

I think that was the fabulous Toaster Strudel?

It definitely was the fabulous Toaster Strudel.

What a crappy tell all. The tension and empty silences were absolutely painful. There's not a one of those couples who look even remotely happy or in love with their significant other. Not-a-one. Its so sad.

I wanted to wipe that smirk off Pow's face. Her glee at getting off at other people's misery is appalling. I hope they don't have JuannahateonRoos next week. Really can't stand him either.

Jay, if you want to throw your dick around then tell ya what? Don't get married! I was surprised he mentioned loving her kids. I'm glad they've been left out of this shitshow.

I thought Andre looked very cute in his bowtie and suspenders. Too bad he's a neanderthal.

I, like many others, will not be watching the Shitty Family Chantal. There's nothing there to even fun hate watch. They're all such miserable unlikeable people. I hope the show crashes and burns.

Edited July 23, 2019 by Lady Iris

[itsadryheat]

Edited July 23, 2019 by itsadryheat
typo

[Drogo]

[chickenella]

On 7/22/2019 at 10:33 AM, Sterling said:

Mother       Chantal     loves      to           take         long            pauses      to           keep        you         listening.  Ugh. 

And I just read that in Mama Chantal's voice. I may try this myself, lol. Thank you!

[Lady Iris]

I did enjoy how Shawn basically stole her thunder, such as it was, with rushing her along about apples and trees.

[Spike]

1 minute ago, Lady Iris said:

I did enjoy how Shawn basically stole her thunder, such as it was, with rushing her along about apples and trees.

She had made that analogy on an episode so it wasn’t even new content for the tell-all.  Did Sparky get his own dressing room  and goody bag?

[StatisticalOutlier]

16 hours ago, silverspoons said:

Larissa's friend Carmen that she lives with now (she was on the show last night) is from Brazil and speaks Portuguese and lived a few miles from Larissa in Vegas. In fact she is the one who set up Colt and Larissa. It made no sense to me why Debbie was taking Larissa shopping, to the doctor and to the lawyer when Carmen lived down the street? Larissa said she had no options but Debbie and could not use uber with a credit card so why not call Carmen for a ride. If Carmen was nice enough to take her in for 8 months rent free, why would she not give her a ride once in awhile before? Larissa did go to Carmen's after the last fight and the police came to Carmen's to arrest her so she did have Carmen with her for DV #3. 

Acting on the assumption that the scales haven't fallen from your eyes yet with respect to reality shows--producer manipulation.  It's a way to force the two of them into a confined space to argue.

[Gobi]

3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

Maybe she and Pedro could find their own Island of Misfit Toys.  

Laura (of Laura and Aladin) already found that.

[SndChsr]

URGENT HELP NEEDED!!

I am building an inter-galactic rocket in order to start a private inter-galactic space travel tour business. I've hit a brick wall however, trying to decide whether I should use solid fuel or ethanol mixed with corn syrup for the propulsion.

I would like to consult with Mother Chantel to get her opinion on weight to thrust and friction ratios as they will relate to planned payloads.

Does anyone have contact info?

Thank you.

[Persnickety1]

18 minutes ago, SndChsr said:

URGENT HELP NEEDED!!

I am building an inter-galactic rocket in order to start a private inter-galactic space travel tour business. I've hit a brick wall however, trying to decide whether I should use solid fuel or ethanol mixed with corn syrup for the propulsion.

I would like to consult with Mother Chantel to get her opinion on weight to thrust and friction ratios as they will relate to planned payloads.

Does anyone have contact info?

Thank you.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn Family Chantel scours the internet looking for posts about their awesomeness.  

Thus, maybe there's a chance she'll see your post here and contact you  😄 

[Dmarie019]

why doesn't Chantal's mom always speak like she's trying to talk to a deaf person???

[SndChsr]

2 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn Family Chantel scours the internet looking for posts about their awesomeness.  

Thus, maybe there's a chance she'll see your post here and contact you  😄 

I hope! Please pray that they do. I'm willing to make Mother Chantel an honorary tourist on the first flight if she contributes!

[Toaster Strudel]

49 minutes ago, SndChsr said:

URGENT HELP NEEDED!!

I am building an inter-galactic rocket in order to start a private inter-galactic space travel tour business. I've hit a brick wall however, trying to decide whether I should use solid fuel or ethanol mixed with corn syrup for the propulsion.

I would like to consult with Mother Chantel to get her opinion on weight to thrust and friction ratios as they will relate to planned payloads.

Does anyone have contact info?

Thank you.

I need help from her too, I have a ground breaking project involving sticking bobby pins in electrical sockets.

[Toaster Strudel]

What all women agreed on:

Colt is a tool. A massive (literally), antagonistic, and witless tool. He managed to make every woman on the set seethe with rage and contemplate murder.

What everyone agreed on:

Eyerolls when Mother Einstein speaks, do the body good.

[Dmarie019]

19 hours ago, alegtostandon said:

I got the impression that Chantel & Pedro were leaving, unless I misunderstood,  I thought the host had said something like 'this is where we say goodbye to Chantel and  Pedro...' then went into the big revel about the Family Chantal Variety Show

Yea, they left. And they weren't shown in the previews for next weeks either. If I were the other couples I'd wonder why they were so special to only have to stick around for half. 

[SndChsr]

33 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

I need help from her too, I have a ground breaking project involving sticking bobby pins in electrical sockets.

LOL can I go first though? I have investors waiting and Bill Gates is not known for patience. Mother Chantel....PLEASE HELP! 

[IllLitShips]

On 7/22/2019 at 11:40 AM, Toaster Strudel said:

Here's what really happened. For years, Karen heard the saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and had no idea what the cryptic idiom meant. If a wit like Karen couldn't figure it out, what chance did the rest of us ever have?

So she gave this a lot of thought. She thought about it before going to sleep at night. Alone while drinking coffee. When stuck at a red light. While looking out the window on rainy days.

Then it dawned on her.

Of course. It should have been obvious, but there's no shame in that, since Einstein himself was involved. The man whose theory of gravity revolutionized agriculture; orchards were never the same. It turns out, one cannot make sense of the idiom unless intimately acquainted with the perplexing and mind-bending concept of gravity, and few are outside of the hallowed halls of academia. After all, helium balloons go up, the Road Runner can remain suspended, rake handles hit your forehead when you step on the tines, and magnets move sideways.  But apples, it seems, have a rather direct downward trajectory (known as a vector) from the branch whence they came from to the ground where they land with a thud.

We ought to be grateful for the blessing she bestowed on us by explaining the historical context and science behind the idiom. I only wish the producers had let her use the powerpoint presentation she had prepared and enhanced with only the best clipart that Google image search has to offer.

Last night, Karen shed some long awaited light on an enigma that combined the realms of physics, plant husbandry and language. She tried to vulgarize it to bring it down to a level that we could comprehend and she was prodigiously successful at it, as anyone who stayed awake could testify.

With confidence, I can now announce that with respect to her idiot daughter Chantel, one could say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

This might be my favorite comment ever. It really humanizes Mother Chantel. I just thought she was a bumbling fool, but there was light shed on a hidden brilliance. 

[alegtostandon]

19 hours ago, silverspoons said:

Larissa's friend Carmen that she lives with now (she was on the show last night) is from Brazil and speaks Portuguese and lived a few miles from Larissa in Vegas. In fact she is the one who set up Colt and Larissa. It made no sense to me why Debbie was taking Larissa shopping, to the doctor and to the lawyer when Carmen lived down the street? Larissa said she had no options but Debbie and could not use uber with a credit card so why not call Carmen for a ride. If Carmen was nice enough to take her in for 8 months rent free, why would she not give her a ride once in awhile before? Larissa did go to Carmen's after the last fight and the police came to Carmen's to arrest her so she did have Carmen with her for DV #3. 

This is the first I've ever heard about Larissa having a friend, not only in the states,  not only in Nevada but in Vegas!  

18 hours ago, BoomerRumor said:

I'm quite mystified as what we are supposed to respect her for.

I've wondered on what day we are allow to disrespect her.   

1 hour ago, Dmarie019 said:

why doesn't Chantal's mom always speak like she's trying to talk to a deaf person???

Because she thinks we are all stupider than her! 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

This might be my favorite comment ever. It really humanizes Mother Chantel. I just thought she was a bumbling fool, but there was light shed on a hidden brilliance. 

Kind of like on Glee, when it was revealed that Brittney S. Pearse was actually a math genius.

Quote

This is the first I've ever heard about Larissa having a friend, not only in the states,  not only in Nevada but in Vegas!  

She did always natter on about how she was all alone in the big, bad U.S. of A.

[Drogo]

1 hour ago, IllLitShips said:

On ‎7‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 11:40 AM, Toaster Strudel said:

Of course. It should have been obvious, but there's no shame in that, since Einstein himself was involved. The man whose theory of gravity revolutionized agriculture; orchards were never the same. It turns out, one cannot make sense of the idiom unless intimately acquainted with the perplexing and mind-bending concept of gravity, and few are outside of the hallowed halls of academia.

Karen is the perfect name for MotherChantel. 

Well done, GrandmotherChantel!

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, SndChsr said:

I hope! Please pray that they do. I'm willing to make Mother Chantel an honorary tourist on the first flight if she contributes!

Please tell me it's a one-way ticket.

[SndChsr]

Just now, StatisticalOutlier said:

Please tell me it's a one-way ticket.

Naturally! With her wisdom and scientific knowledge, I'm sure she'll figure out a way back from Andromeda back to earth. Not my problem.

[RealReality]

9 hours ago, SndChsr said:

I hope! Please pray that they do. I'm willing to make Mother Chantel an honorary tourist on the first flight if she contributes!

Can she contribute some used weave hair?

8 hours ago, IllLitShips said:

This might be my favorite comment ever. It really humanizes Mother Chantel. I just thought she was a bumbling fool, but there was light shed on a hidden brilliance. 

Thankfully for us mere mortals she is hiding this brilliance really, really, REALLY well.

[Morgalisa]

On 7/22/2019 at 11:26 AM, steff13 said:

It was wasn't it!  I hadn't noticed it that much either.  I wondered if she'd had a stroke recently.  

I think she and Coltee have a biggee problem with the alcoholee.

[Kareem]

I was surprised at the Tell Nothing that Nicole said she hadn’t seen Azan in a year.  Surprised, too, at how pretty she looked.  The hair, make up and dress really transformed her from what she looked like walking in.  Unfortunate that in true Nicole style, one of the first things she mentioned was marrying him.

Ironic that Karen delivered her Einstein gravity speech to eventually and finally say that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it actually proved that to be true in her case as well.  She and Chantel aren’t particularly bright and both have trouble making a logical point.  The expressions on everyone else’s faces were priceless when Chantel argued and talked over Pedro.  What a mess.  

Elizabeth said she’s in the same boat?  Scary prospect.  I agree with the person upthread who said these people don’t seem to like each other very much at all.  

[Polliwollidoodle]

7 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

I think she and Coltee have a biggee problem with the alcoholee.

Well now I am wondering if that is why the shpeech has gotten so much more pronounced with her shlurring. Sheerioushly.

15 hours ago, alegtostandon said:

This is the first I've ever heard about Larissa having a friend, not only in the states,  not only in Nevada but in Vegas!  

I've wondered on what day we are allow to disrespect her.   

Because she thinks we are all stupider than her! 

Correcting to say Because she thinks we are all MORE stupider than her.

[Kellyee]

Quote

I think all three of them are to blame and color me shallow but that voice of Debbie's would cause me to day drink.  There is something of that tone that is just.......argh.

It would be one thing to have you share your home with a third party, like your hubby's college roomie who is crashing there, and to have your hubby side with his "bro."  But to know he will side with his mommy??  Eeek.

All three of them came into the relationship with an agenda, so they are all to blame. They deserve each other. I don't believe Deb really wants to share Colt, but I also think Colt just wanted a hot wife even if she was crazy, and I believe that Larissa is a calculating bitch. 

[ElderPrice]

18 hours ago, Dmarie019 said:

why doesn't Chantal's mom always speak like she's trying to talk to a deaf person???

I’m hearing impaired and her speech bugs.      The.        Shit.        Out.         Of.          Me. 

 But then she’ll come up with a doozy like “He thinks we’re a business like fruit of the womb” and I can’t help but flove her. You would think that someone who speaks so painfully slowly would be articulate. You have ten minute pauses between words and these are the words you choose?

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, Kareem said:

I was surprised at the Tell Nothing that Nicole said she hadn’t seen Azan in a year.  Surprised, too, at how pretty she looked.  The hair, make up and dress really transformed her from what she looked like walking in.  Unfortunate that in true Nicole style, one of the first things she mentioned was marrying him.

Ironic that Karen delivered her Einstein gravity speech to eventually and finally say that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it actually proved that to be true in her case as well.  She and Chantel aren’t particularly bright and both have trouble making a logical point.  The expressions on everyone else’s faces were priceless when Chantel argued and talked over Pedro.  What a mess.  

Elizabeth said she’s in the same boat?  Scary prospect.  I agree with the person upthread who said these people don’t seem to like each other very much at all.  

As dumb as Chantal is, I commend her for not bringing a baby into this mess.

As cute as Eleanor is Elizabeth is up shit Creek without a paddle if Daddy Warbucks really cuts them off.   

Andrei either doesn't understand how money works or he is willfully blind.  She basically has two mouths to feed.

I think it's time for TLC to kick baby bird Nicole out of the nest.  As she has pointed out, her life is private and I don't think she has a fiance right now.  I'd watch a 2 hour special of Nicole making an ass of herself in Morocco looking for azan, but then.....let's be done....

[Mothra]

On 7/22/2019 at 10:12 AM, PinkFlamingo said:

Gray hair aside, there’s no way that Eric guy is 26.  He probably figured 36 was too old to start his reality TV “career”. Dude was auditioning for the next season of the bachelor by showing off his very creepy rose handling skills. 

Later on he was trying to demonstrate his reality tv-worthy woman handling skills with hands creepily flailing all over like some kind of middle school boy getting nervous as he is about to touch a female CPR dummy... convincing...

My first thought was "Wow, this guy is really a Legs man" but then he kept stroking her leg in this awkward awful manner it was clearly phony.  I almost never say anything about Gaydar, but while I'm not willing to speculate that this guy is gay, I am ready to say that he was not sexually attracted to Larissa, and that someone had instructed him to stroke her leg when it became obvious that he had no idea of what to do with her to demonstrate his ardor (with the goal of course of infuriating Coltee, who is almost equally clueless about how to court a woman).

But what I want to be Told All about is what Coltee said to the cops on each DV call--how did he get their attention so quickly from him to Larissa as the offender?  And now I think I understand why, at the first trial, he told his mother that he didn't want to testify against her.  He made it sound like he didn't want to testify how violent she was; I now think it was important for him to keep the cop's possible rebuttal of whatever Coltee testified to out of the record.  I think Coltee took advantage of Larissa's unfamiliarity with English cop-speak to lie to the cops about what had transpired, relying on her inability to explain clearly to the court what had actually happened.  As long as he (Coltee) kept himself out of court, he would not put himself in danger of perjuring himself.

[RealReality]

@Mothra --I could see that for sure. Not only is Larissa not a native speaker, but she is definitely going to come off loud and crazy when compared to colts super calm creepy demeanor.