S07.E13: Reptilian Brain

[OnceSane]

Quote

Stassi desperately wants to make a good impression when she first meets Beau's mom, but her hopes are dashed; Sandoval and Ariana finally have an honest discussion about having kids; Jax dotes on Brittany after her dental surgery.

Airs March 4, 2019.

[Emmeline]

Tom has already wasted enough time on Ariana.  She is nothing but a self centered “B”.  They don’t have the best sex life.  She complained that she was ashamed of her “V”.  Then she lets LaLa get up in there.  Then she states outright that she doesn’t want kids.  What are they doing together?

Dear Lord, LaLa needs more therapy. The way she uses sex as a tool is nauseating.  I wonder if she even enjoys it?  I remember her saying she was on the bed spread eagle and let James do her.

Edited March 5, 2019 by Emmeline

[dosodog]

Sparing the rest of us from either of them being in the dating pool?

[Steph J]

Does Lala realize, as she's bragging about all the swag she gets from her transactional relationship, that one day she's going to be cast out and he's going to be lavishing all this stuff on some other, younger girl?  Given that his ex-wife is only 30, I'm guessing that there's not much time left before the buzzer rings on Lala's time in the sun.

[hatchetgirl]

20 minutes ago, Steph J said:

Does Lala realize, as she's bragging about all the swag she gets from her transactional relationship, that one day she's going to be cast out and he's going to be lavishing all this stuff on some other, younger girl? 

Nope. Remember he's her SOULMATE! They'll neva bweak up eva eva! 

[nytonc]

LaLa whoring herself out to MyMan or anyone else’s Man is pathetic. But I think the rest of the coven wish their blow jobs could rate Gucci slides or a Range Rover. 

I wish Tequila Katie would stage a comeback

[ghoulina]

Beau's mom is sweet and I was all in my feels when she and Stassi met. BUT. What. The. Fuck. Is a reptilian brain??? I was so lost. 

Here's the thing - Carter and Kristen are a mess. He's a shiftless loser; and she openly admitted to sticking around out of fear of being alone. However, Katie is being super mean to her about the situation. I understand that it's frustrating to hear someone bitch and bitch and bitch, but never do anything about it. But if they really cared, they would simmer down. Because going SO hard for Carter is just going to push Kristen away.

So Lala shows up all in black and here in thinking she's mourning the loss of her man. Nope. Both he AND the unfortunate Gucci slides are back. And then we get subjected to a very vivid picture of their sex life. No mas. 

Jax "gets off" on taking care of Brittany? Girl, run. You in danger! I smell some Munchausen by Proxy on the horizon. 

Jax is such a shitty bartender. He couldn't even remember 2 drinks!

I really don't get why Ariana is with Tom. Forget the kids thing; she just seems constantly annoyed with him. And he has KNOWN her stance on children forever. Figure out what you really want or shut up.

[geauxaway]

I learned about how the reptilian brain functions when I took a class on how to deal with behavioral kids as part of my training as a foster parent.  Meaning kids who are developmentally delayed, stunted, traumatized, FAS, born addicted, exposed, abused, etc.  It really made me cringe watching these dysfunctional assholes make light of it when it is a real thing that a lot of people really can’t overcome due to circumstances out of their control.  It’s not because you get drunk and become an asshole.  It’s a defense mechanism for many that is rooted in severe trauma.  They literally retreat to their reptilian brain because they cannot cope and regulate emotions. 

Oh yay.  Lala got her Gucci slides back.  

Jax couldn’t remember 2 drinks and one of them was Diet Coke.  Like does it get any more basic than that? 

FFS.

[Pop Tart]

4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Beau's mom is sweet and I was all in my feels when she and Stassi met. BUT. What. The. Fuck. Is a reptilian brain??? I was so lost. 

Reptilian brain is an actual theory of how the most primal part of the brain works. Basically it’s the part of your brain that wants to be in control when you’re under major stress. The reptilian brain has very few responses to stress, Beau’s mom said live or die, I’ve heard fight or flight. When something bad is happening you revert to the most primitive response possible, basically returning to being the lizards we evolved from.

Making yourself aware that that is what’s happening is meant to help you work on ways to work through that state of mind into a more controlled, thoughtful stance.

[Drogo]

James needs to narrate every scene via voiceover.  Hilarious.

[Marley]

Katie is such a bitch. She needs to just shut up. Not like her relationship is perfect. I like Schwartz he seems nice but he’s basically never had a job as long as the show has been on. Part time model and the show are his money. So she should lay off on judging Carter. Katie just seems like such a miserable person.

Beau and Stassi are super cute.

Poor Beau’s mom at the apartment lol.

[Pop Tart]

Funny thing about all these people is that as idiotic they all generally are most of the time, they’re pretty good at reading each others’ relationships.

• Jax is right about how Sandoval and Ariana are not on the same page at all
• James is totally right about Lala’s arrangement with Rand
• Stassi and Katie are right about Kristen/Carter dysfunction 
• Everyone is right about being concerned about Jax/Brittany
• Everyone is right about Scheana and whoever she happens to be claiming to be with

Of course what I’ve just said is pretty much true of most of the human race, so they’re not unique.

Edited March 5, 2019 by Pop Tart

[albarino]

Well, that was disturbing.  

1 hour ago, Emmeline said:

Dear Lord, LaLa needs more therapy. The way she uses sex as a tool is nauseating.

Yes.

28 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Here's the thing - Carter and Kristen are a mess. He's a shiftless loser; and she openly admitted to sticking around out of fear of being alone. However, Katie is being super mean to her about the situation.

Katie really is a bully.  Since when has she become the arbiter of all things "relationship?"  Looking forward to FT calling her out on it.

[Emmeline]

I just saw the promo for Katie and Stassi on WWHL tonight.  Stassi looked great.  Katie seems to be wearing a purple pants suit, oh lord.

Edited March 5, 2019 by Emmeline

[Drogo]

1 hour ago, geauxaway said:

Jax couldn’t remember 2 drinks and one of them was Diet Coke.  Like does it get any more basic than that? 

Jax can barely remember not to have sex with people who aren't Brittany.  

[geauxaway]

1 minute ago, Drogo said:

Jax can barely remember not to have sex with people who aren't Brittany.  

THAT’S IN THE PAST!  HE’S CHANGED! QUIT BRINGING IT UP!  Dontcha know?  

Ugh not one of these couples is in a healthy or fulfilling relationship, save maybe Stassi.  

[Callaphera]

"Wait, you don't want to have children?! Lemme go on at length about children!"

Been there, done that, just claimed the receipt for the husband's vasectomy on my taxes. 

[Drogo]

$520 really doesn't seem like fair compensation for blowing Rand.  

[ninjago]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Because going SO hard for Carter is just going to push Kristen away.

I feel like all of these people fell down a rabbit hole ten+ years ago and they are just now waking up to the fact that this is actually real life and, as mid-30s+ aged people, not early-20s aged people, they are at different stages of realizing liking to get drunk and baked is not enough for a lifetime friendship.  

I think this explains how mean they are to each other and how tolerant they are towards each others terrible behaviors.  

[biakbiak]

Dude Lala it’s not role playing to go to a hotel and “pretend” to give blow jobs for a role it’s literally the basis of your relationship. The way she talks about sex is so transactional I doubt the act itself is that pleasurable for her.

Edited March 5, 2019 by biakbiak

[Sun-Bun]

35 minutes ago, Drogo said:

$520 really doesn't seem like fair compensation for blowing Rand.  

Plus, those are some pretty hideous looking Gucci slides; even Gucci makes mistakes(thank you, Countess!).

Kristen once again unleashes her crazy aka “reptilian” side; she seems so lost and unhappy to me. She and Carter are like that sad couple we all know who would rather just bicker and put up with each other than be alone. Has she ever even been long-term single for an entire season of this show? She’s definitely a serial monogamist who clings to really unhealthy cohabitation situations.

Speaking of which, I really hope the children argument between Arianna and Sandoval is just being amped up for the show. It pains me to see her just dragging him along while he desperately clings to his dreams of fatherhood.   

And what’s up with how creepy pro-natal all these folks are? They all talk about parenthood  with the dumbassed exuberance of high schoolers who don’t know any better—-parenting is hard work and requires serious money/patience/sacrifices. Jax treating Arianna like she’s weird because she doesn’t like/want kids?? I’m more weirded out by what insane breeders they all claim to be; as a fellow Childfree adult, I find Arianna’s honest disinterest in parenthood oddly refreshing. I just wish she and Sandoval would shit or get off the pot; it’s selfish to string along someone like that.

Beau and Stassi’s entire segment when she first met his mom? Absolutely adorable; they’re really sweet together.

Did Scheana even appear on the show tonight beyond being shown serving/reacting in the background? I just can’t get over what a nonentity she is this season.

[biakbiak]

So an episode or two ago Schena didn’t even want to acknowledge that she and Adam were friends with benefits and now she is going with him to a relationship seminar. 

[glowbug]

I think Ariana has been pretty clear from the beginning what her stance is on marriage and children. I don't think she's stringing Tom along. He just keeps pushing and she doesn't want to break up (whether for the show or because she actually loves him) so even after she firmly tells him things she does tell him maybe in 10 years we can talk, which is essentially the same thing as it's never going to happen, just less direct. If this is even a real issue for them. Their relationship issues sound so contrived and are always solved neatly after a few episodes. Even if they haven't figured out the kid issue yet I feel like they're presenting it on camera in a very deliberate way. With few exceptions their fights haven't felt organic and their larger relationship issues seem even less so.

Kristen and Carter have real issues, or they're both much better actors (I'm guessing the former). That said, Katie, and to a lesser extent Stassi, were both pretty crappy friends by badgering Kristen to own up to how shitty things have been and bringing things up in front of others and the camera that she doesn't want to talk about at that moment. It sounded like she and Carter were in a good place temporarily (I think Katie admitted they were having a good month or something like that) so let Kristen have it. Most couples in bad relationships go through better periods where they want to pretend things are fine and I think it's best just to let them have their delusions. The relationship will implode on its own. There's no reason for Katie and Stassi to be part of the breakup. As Kristen's friends they just need to be there to help her through it. 

James once again proves that he hasn't changed a bit. Once again he's being nice to people's faces and then behind their back (in his confessionals) being a total asshole. He doesn't feel remorse for the things he's said and done. He's just sorry he's had to face the consequences. He all but admitted that these so called changes he's made are all a show for Lisa so that he can get his job back. I just don't get the love for James Kennedy.

Edited March 5, 2019 by glowbug

[langford peel]

The way Tom was talking about having a kid sounds very familiar. “Don’t worry I will take care of it. I will walk it and feed it. You won’t have to do anything I swear!”

That’s exactly what Dorit said to Lisa about the dog.

[Rosebud1970]

Ariana is such a poser. All this house talk, centering around having/not having kids. She holds herself above all the others--I'm too good for this gig--when, in reality, she's no better than the rest of them. She's no cooler, no smarter not more hip. None of it. 

Spoiler

They bought a big, generic house in the Valley. I think it has 4 bedrooms.

Total poser.

[biakbiak]

Just now, Rosebud1970 said:

All this house talk, centering around having/not having kids

It seemed that they were two different conversations with only Jax feeling the need to connect them. Neither Tom or Ariana think tha buying a house together means they are going to have children together even Tom acknowledged that.

[Wicked]

I think Sandovol handled the kid situation well: I'm going to have kids one day, you can be as involved as you want to be.  Up front, to the point, not confrontational.

[Higgins]

Oh Lala, poor stunted girl, he will tire of your P and BJs. Trust me. Then what?????

[Petunia13]

LaLa doesn’t realize if he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. 

[Drogo]

1 hour ago, Wicked said:

I think Sandovol handled the kid situation well: I'm going to have kids one day, you can be as involved as you want to be.  Up front, to the point, not confrontational.

I hope she chooses to be involved. 

Someone's got to teach that child sketch comedy. 

[bosawks]

Ariana's a pragmatist, she's not going any where until she see's how the bar and the show play out.

And if having kids gets a few more seasons, hey, why not.

Tom will be a good primary parent as long as the kids aren't difficult or, god forbid, unattractive.

At least until puberty and then, hopefully, the kids can emancipate themselves...

Edited March 5, 2019 by bosawks

[psychoticstate]

I went to bed laughing over Flat Iron and Nugget congratulating themselves on how progressive they are.  I'm still laughing.

Beyond that, I fell asleep during parts of this epi and I'm not sure I can be bothered to go back and watch.  Beau's mom seemed cool with meeting Stassi but her "group therapy" was bizarre.  I know about the reptilian brain theory but that's just giving these chucklefucks an excuse for when they act like major chucklefucks.  The majority of their problems is not reptilian brain; it's alcohol and immaturity.

Katie is a real pain in the ass.  Personally I think it's tacky for her and Stassi to go into the bedroom at Kristen and Carter's apartment to have a private conversation during a group event.  It's rude.  Even ruder is to act all put out and offended when Carter has the nerve to come into his own bedroom and interrupt your little gossip session and then jump all over him for how he's allegedly treating Kristen.  Given that Katie's own relationship with Schwartz was a fucked up mess for ages, and he still drinks to excess now, she has zero room to talk.  

As much as I loathe to take Jax's side on basically anything, he is absolutely right about Flat Iron and the Nugget.  Their goals seem completely different.  Flat Iron wants the white picket fence, a house with kids and the Nugget is grossed out by the entire idea.  This will not end well - - either a bad breakup or one of them will give in to the other's wishes and end up resentful.  But I guess it makes for good tv.

[FancyNancy]

What does FT stand for? I know it’s Sandoval, I just don’t know what it means. 

Edited March 5, 2019 by FancyNancy

[hoodooznoodooz]

8 hours ago, Drogo said:

$520 really doesn't seem like fair compensation for blowing Rand.  

Those are ugly and stupid enough that Dorit and Erika (RHOBH) would wear them.

[Higgins]

Just now, FancyNancy said:

What does FT stand for. I know it’s Sandoval, I just don’t know what it means. 

Florida Tom

[FancyNancy]

Katie is such a bitch and she sure hated having her past shitty relationship thrown in her face. 

Mom starting to like Stassi again.

poor Tom.. It doesn’t seem he’ll get his baby. Not with Ariana at least. 

[bichonblitz]

I'm looking forward to FI bringing Katie to tears next week. She has become unbearable. Does she think she's so together because she gave Shwartz an ultimatum and he put a ring on it? Shwartz is great looking but he is no prize by any stretch. 

I liked the Stassi, Beau and mom scene. And I couldn't stop staring at the mountains in the background at the restaurant. Damn, Cali is beautiful! 

I think FI and Ariana are perfectly happy together in real life. This whole not getting married, not wanting babies thing is for the show.

Kristin needs serious therapy. She's afraid to be alone. And she right, she's getting older now. Time to get it together. 

[FancyNancy]

1 minute ago, Higgins said:

Florida Tom

Oh ok. Thanks 

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

Reptilian brain is an actual theory of how the most primal part of the brain works. Basically it’s the part of your brain that wants to be in control when you’re under major stress. The reptilian brain has very few responses to stress, Beau’s mom said live or die, I’ve heard fight or flight. When something bad is happening you revert to the most primitive response possible, basically returning to being the lizards we evolved from.

Making yourself aware that that is what’s happening is meant to help you work on ways to work through that state of mind into a more controlled, thoughtful stance.

Thank you. This is actually very informative and very interesting. I don't know if Isa just wasn't good at explaining it, or if they cut out a lot. Because it sounded kind of hokey when she was explaining it....and then everyone was using it in context of petty fights with their friends and significant others. 

8 hours ago, Callaphera said:

"Wait, you don't want to have children?! Lemme go on at length about children!"

Been there, done that, just claimed the receipt for the husband's vasectomy on my taxes. 

But then Ariana drops little nuggets like, "If we ever ARE going to do something like that one day, we need to be a good team." She confuses the fuck out of me. 

8 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Beau and Stassi’s entire segment when she first met his mom? Absolutely adorable; they’re really sweet together.

I loved the clip of Beau listening back to their conversation when he left the table. He had tears in his eyes. 

[nexxie]

Wonder what Lala’s beloved father thought of her proud & public whoredom.

Edited March 5, 2019 by nexxie

[Carolina Girl]

Lord but I hate it when idiots glom onto a new catch phrase and work it to death.  How many time did these idiots use the phrase "reptilian brain!" in the last three minutes of the show, but really had no idea what they were talking about.  

I really missed the pop-up video version of this episode this week.  I'd rather watch that than "Summer House."  

[Otherkate]

8 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Dude Lala it’s not role playing to go to a hotel and “pretend” to give blow jobs for a role it’s literally the basis of your relationship. The way she talks about sex is so transactional I doubt the act itself is that pleasurable for her.

OMG, I could not believe she recounted this story with a straight face. Lala. This is literally your life story. How does she not see that? Lala makes me really sad. 

Katie is a terrible person and I'm sick of her face.

[psychoticstate]

35 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

But then Ariana drops little nuggets like, "If we ever ARE going to do something like that one day, we need to be a good team." She confuses the fuck out of me. 

The Nugget is nothing but contradictions.  She claims she has an issue with her vagina, due to a previous boyfriend, but then is perfectly dandy with spreading it for Lala in front of Flat Iron.  She claims she doesn't want the house and kids but she's going to look at houses with Flat Iron.  She claims to be some master in improvisation and comedy but she's the most unfunny and un-humorous person on the show.  She talked smack about Kristen. back when she and Flat Iron were fucking around, but now she's all concerned about Kristen and her relationship with Carter.    

If this isn't fuckery done by the show, she has to be the most exhausting person ever to be around. 

[TattleTeeny]

I feel two ways about telling friends what you really think of their relationships.

One, if there's a problem and if you're that person's close friend, it doesn't help to foster that person's delusions, especially if that person comes to you about the problems. I do think, though, that, as a friend, you would/should know when that person is just having a routine stress-vent as opposed to a serious, real-deal couplehood-crossroads situation (because I think there is some truth to the assertion that people--other than Scheana, of course--don't generally seek to talk it over with a friend when the relationship in question is fine, they do it when things are not so good, resulting in the friends hearing more about the bad stuff. At least that's true for me and my own friends). 

Two, though, unless something flat-out harmful is happening, I think you should generally follow that friend's lead; if she says things are fine, then I guess proceed as usual with that in mind. For one thing, maybe they are fine, or are getting there. And for another, you're not gonna help it to stay fine (if that's what your friends wants) by bashing the significant other. You want your friends to have what they want, you know?

And another thing: I think it's sometimes shortsighted for the person in the questionable relationship to summarily blow off the words/advice of a friend who has also experienced questionable relationships (I've been on both sides of this). Maybe that's exactly how that person learned to know better or came to an epiphany or some shit (in fact, the advice of someone who never had a crapfest relationship may be the worst person to listen to, haha!). I understand feeling defensive or to view it as hypocrisy, or to feel a need to find out for yourself, but maybe that person has some knowledge that will at least help to keep you from prolonging the inevitable, or fix or get out of it with limited drama. (Not these people probably, though!)

Edited March 5, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[DrSparkles]

Oh Ariana, you’re so special. “What you just said to me is so progressive.”

PUKE.

I did find it interesting and all of their Talking Heads about the reptilial brain, that at least these people are listening and understanding and processing what that woman said. Other shows they would just deny they had a problem and that anything apply to them. Looking at you Atlanta housewives.

ETA: I’m sorry, I love Stassi.

Edited March 5, 2019 by DrSparkles

[Rebecca]

4 hours ago, Marley said:

Katie is such a bitch. She needs to just shut up. Not like her relationship is perfect. I like Schwartz he seems nice but he’s basically never had a job as long as the show has been on. Part time model and the show are his money. So she should lay off on judging Carter. Katie just seems like such a miserable person.

But Schwartz is 5%! successful now! He’s a businessman! That erases his past because Katie sucks ass and is a hypocrite. The groom at her wedding was being compared to a battered wife right before their wedding but now she’s an expert. 

[DrSparkles]

1 hour ago, Higgins said:

Florida Tom

I think it’s short for Flat Iron (Tom Sandoval)?

[albarino]

Hey Katie, on WWHL, Maude called and she wants her outfit back.

[nexxie]

Lala calls Rand her “daddy husband” and is all about makeup for his little daughters - Lala has a few loose screws.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/lala-kent-as-stepmom-to-randall-emmett-kids

[HunterHunted]

33 minutes ago, DrSparkles said:

I think it’s short for Flat Iron (Tom Sandoval)?

Yeah, it should be Flat Iron (FI) because both Toms have connections to Florida. Sandoval is from St. Louis, Missouri, but got started modeling in Florida. Schwartz is from St. Paul, Minnesota, but went to college in Florida and most of his family lives in Florida.

31 minutes ago, albarino said:

Hey Katie, on WWHL, Maude called and she wants her outfit back.

It read as Zbornak to me. Regardless, none of Bea Arthur's characters were ever really known as style icons.

Edited March 5, 2019 by HunterHunted