19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[charmed1]

Another thing that bugs me is the whole chaperone thing. Despite the fact that these are grown women having to be babysat by their 10 year old brothers, they're being filmed! Why does James have to accompany his sister on a date with her boyfriend when there's a crew of people with cameras and microphones broadcasting this date to millions of people? It's absurd. I thought Jessa made a good point when she was sitting on the porch with Ben and she said to the cameraman, "Well we need a chaperone anyway, might as well be you."

[Mrsjumbo]

I don't know why, but their wearing of Arkansas Razorback fan gear, putting Razorback signs and stickers all over and generally being a fan annoys me. Thought they didn't watch TV? At least they've never said anything about watching sports. We know that none of their kids are going to go to the "heathen" school, the parents didn't go. It's just a little hypocritical to me.

Ha! I said this very thing before, & again today on the Derick & Jill thread.

They will wear all the Arkansas Razorbacks gear, but the kids will never be allowed to go there.

[lottiedottie]

Another thing that bugs me is the whole chaperone thing. Despite the fact that these are grown women having to be babysat by their 10 year old brothers, they're being filmed! Why does James have to accompany his sister on a date with her boyfriend when there's a crew of people with cameras and microphones broadcasting this date to millions of people? It's absurd. I thought Jessa made a good point when she was sitting on the porch with Ben and she said to the cameraman, "Well we need a chaperone anyway, might as well be you."

I'm sure it's because the crew are godless heathens who might let the Duggars go astray. They can be trusted to film, but they are not Gothardly enough to be the sole chaperones. 

 

It bothers me so much that for all of these kids, their very first romantic kiss ever is often a freaking spectacle, happening on the altar in front of everyone and often with cameras filming. I don't know about you guys, but as a teenager, first kisses were always so exciting and special and sometimes awkward--I can't imagine having that experience in front of so many witnesses. It's not fair for these kids to never get to experience these moments of intimacy like normal people do. 

[Oldernowiser]

OMG- I just found the beginning episodes of this show on youtube  - I've never seen them.  Okay, this bugged me to no end when the children are talking about their jurisdictions  - and one said that hers was cleaning her Mom and Dad's room.  WTF?  What is Mullets jurisdiction?  Does she have one?  Seriously!

Ovulation. Also coitus.

I'm sure it's because the crew are godless heathens who might let the Duggars go astray. They can be trusted to film, but they are not Gothardly enough to be the sole chaperones. 

 

It bothers me so much that for all of these kids, their very first romantic kiss ever is often a freaking spectacle, happening on the altar in front of everyone and often with cameras filming. I don't know about you guys, but as a teenager, first kisses were always so exciting and special and sometimes awkward--I can't imagine having that experience in front of so many witnesses. It's not fair for these kids to never get to experience these moments of intimacy like normal people do.

They've been exploited since birth...why not?

To me, it's just another form of child slavery, yet somehow it's supposed to be laudable, because Jesus.

[starfire]

I always wondered what do the guys/boys do about the Razorback cheerleaders? They are on the sidelines the entire game, do performances on the field, and are featured on the big screens. Are the guys/boys expected not to look at them? If so, how would that even be possible?

[ghoulina]

Another thing I hate is the fact that they buy used shoes for the kids.  I can understand the used clothes, but shoes are (IMO) not something to be buying used - especially for children learning to walk.  After shoes are worn for a while, they have pretty much molded and been broken in to the original persons foot. 

Not to mention, I find it gross.  You can't wash most shoes before you wear them.

 

I guess it depends on what they find. I have donated shoes before that my kids wore just a few times and are not gross or dirty at all. Once I bought my daughter some dress shoes for a wedding, but the groom's family also bought her some - so I ended up donating a pair of shoes that never got worn. Depending on where you shop, you can find some shoes and clothing that are in great condition. 

 

What really bothers me is the idea of a communal closet, no one has their own clothing. Do they still do that with the older girls? I don't pay enough attention to what they wear to notice, but there's no way Joy would fit into the same outfits her sisters wear. Not to mention, it's just another way to break their individual spirits, and I hate that.

[BitterApple]

ghoulina, the girls have this mustard-colored top that I've seen both Jessa and Jill wearing. The reason I remember it is because of the bold color. I've never seen closets or wardrobes in the girls' dorm, so I'm assuming they're still sharing clothes out of the big communal closet. 

[ShaNaeNae]

I've wondered about the Razorback bunch of Sooie and my guess is the radio? They said they listen to the radio shows, right? They can't see the cheerleaders that way.  I still don't get it because part of the excitement of college football is the colorful spirit.  

 

Anyway, my pet peeve is do they have to bring up how every last one of them is prone to motion sickness every time they ride a car, train, plane, bus, boat, riding lawnmower, etc.?  Really? All of them? And they bring it up over and over.

[mimionthebeach]

Anyway, my pet peeve is do they have to bring up how every last one of them is prone to motion sickness every time they ride a car, train, plane, bus, boat, riding lawnmower, etc.?  Really? All of them? And they bring it up over and over.

 

Well, they would, wouldn't they. Fortunately, they're well trained with the styrofoam cups stuffed with paper towel.

[Ripley68]

The tv crew cant' chaperone because they would WANT them to break the rules so they can film it!  No way they would put a stop to it.

[McManda]

The tv crew cant' chaperone because they would WANT them to break the rules so they can film it!  No way they would put a stop to it.

 

That would be the worst time to decide to break the rules. If I'm going to do it, it's not going to be when a film crew can film it and show it to my parents and all of America.

[annzeepark914]

I watched this show tonight for the first time in several months and discovered that the Duggars have found a new slave: poor ol' Ben.  He was invited to stay in the "guest house"...something I'd never heard about and wondered where it was.  I could not believe they let their guests stay in a big old warehouse.  Poor Ben's room looked pathetic but good for him for being enthusiastic and complimentary about it.  Then he gets a tour of the plantation during which his future SIL points out all the nasty jobs he'll be doing.  JimBob and Michelle are truly something else.

[lottiedottie]

So why is it whenever they show the Duggar kids waking up for something, they are always wearing clothes? Do they sleep in their clothes? WTF?

[truthtalk2014]

So why is it whenever they show the Duggar kids waking up for something, they are always wearing clothes? Do they sleep in their clothes? WTF?

I have wondered the same thing.  Do they not believe in pajamas?  Or I suppose that would have to be gowns for the girls since they aren't allowed to wear pants. 

[ShaNaeNae]

And they have to proclaim every damn time, they're not morning people.

 

I have so many issues I have to gather them on paper. I've been watching the Dishing with the Duggars on almost every episode of 17Kids-18Kids.

 

Part of it is that whole special. It's not really the Duggars fault, more like production. But they keep showing the same clip of Johanna and Jackson (watching them watching old episodes in the bottom left square) laughing. The first time I saw it, it wasn't a laughable scene. I was thinking, "Johanna, why are you laughing? It's inappropriate!" Then I noticed it again and noticed it was the same laugh. I've seen it about 5 times now, same laugh from those 2.

[JessDVD]

It's been discussed here before and the general conclusion (possibly speculation, I don't recall if it's been verified) is that the Duggars don't want their kids *filmed* in pjs, so they sleep in clothes whenever they're being filmed in the early morning.

 

IMO it's important to remember in any conclusion about the Duggars, all we have to go on is what's filmed and to some degree what they post on social media but that's mostly likely not what their life is like all the time.

[mimionthebeach]

Back in the earliest shows I remember one *sweet* scene where Michelle was reading to the girls before bed and they were all wearing those Little House On The Prairie nightgowns and caps. They also had sheets on their beds. Maybe the older girls just don't want to be filmed unless they're "ready for [their] close-up".

[lottiedottie]

It's been discussed here before and the general conclusion (possibly speculation, I don't recall if it's been verified) is that the Duggars don't want their kids *filmed* in pjs, so they sleep in clothes whenever they're being filmed in the early morning.

 

Thanks for the clarification. It still seems silly, as pjs can be just as covering as regular clothes. And how uncomfortable to sleep in your clothes!

[merylinkid]

Here's an idea, just skip the filming of them waking up, and start filming once everyone is dressed and gathered in the kitchen or living room.   They can tell production what not to film about certain things.   

[wanderwoman]

I think the little boys sleep in their clothes. We've seen them being women up for trips and things and they've always got street clothes on. But, I would guess that they have a no pj filming rule. I seem to remember something about the house rule being that you do not leave your bedroom in pajamas and that they're supposed to get clothes out of the family closet the night before.

[DangerousMinds]

Maybe pajamas would allow for too easy access? LOL.

[flyingdi]

Is it just me or is there an ungodly amount of competitiveness going on in this loving, Christian family?

[LazyToaster]

If this is how every day life is - then they are missing out on one of the nicest parts of parenting young kids, the whole fresh from the bath, snug in jammie's and cuddling before saying good night routine can be so sweet.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I think the little boys sleep in their clothes. We've seen them being women up for trips and things and they've always got street clothes on. But, I would guess that they have a no pj filming rule. I seem to remember something about the house rule being that you do not leave your bedroom in pajamas and that they're supposed to get clothes out of the family closet the night before.

This is a major pet peeve of my mine.Why can't the kids just be kids for a change and lounge around the house in their PJ's? I love to lounge around in my PJ's on a lazy Saturday. Who is going to be defrauded? It's like the children aren't really allowed to feel at home. They're treated as orphans or something.

Another thing that annoys the shit out of me is that they preach modesty but act the opposite of modest. Josh driving a gas guzzling Hummer, showing Anna giving birth on the toilet etc but Michelle does not want anyone to see her knees.

I also believe they need to widen their vocabulary to include other words besides 'blessing', 'precious ', 'neat,.

Oh and everything about Michelle annoys the shit out of me.From her Aquanetted mullet hair to her helium -sounding voice.I hate that she projects her issues of purity and sexuality onto her daughters. It's my opinion that she uses emotional blackmail on her children to get what she wants 100% of the time.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[lottiedottie]

The kids crawling on the counters. OMFG. Every time I see that I go crazy!

[anstar]

I thought I'd read/heard somewhere that pj's are not 'allowed' outside of the bedrooms. You must be fully dressed when you leave the room in the morning (or at the crack of noon, whenever you wake up in Duggarland), and since all clothes are kept in the family closet on the first floor beside the laundry room, I guess it's just too much of a puzzle for them to work out.  Can't leave the room in pajamas but clothes are on another floor.  hmmm. <scratch head> solution=sleep in clothes.  Take next day's outfit into bedroom the night before doesn't seem to have occurred to any of them. 

[merylinkid]

They designed the frigging house.   They knew the no pj rules outside the bedroom at the time (maybe its a new rule I dunno).   Why not design a communal closet into each dorm room?    Boys clothes in the boys dorm closet and girls clothes in the girls dorm closet.   PROBLEM SOLVED.   But that would clearly involve thinking ahead.

[Lillybee]

I thought I'd read/heard somewhere that pj's are not 'allowed' outside of the bedrooms. You must be fully dressed when you leave the room in the morning (or at the crack of noon, whenever you wake up in Duggarland), and since all clothes are kept in the family closet on the first floor beside the laundry room, I guess it's just too much of a puzzle for them to work out.  Can't leave the room in pajamas but clothes are on another floor.  hmmm. <scratch head> solution=sleep in clothes.  Take next day's outfit into bedroom the night before doesn't seem to have occurred to any of them. 

 

 

Michelle has said that the older girls do sleep in skirts and polos. What really bothered me was the time all the kids had the chicken pox and were still lying around the living room in jeans. I can't imagine what would be more uncomfortable than to have the itchy chicken pox under a heavy layer of denim.

[jumper sage]

I am reading God's Harvard a book about the political right at Patrick Henry College.  A quick shout out to the poster who recommended it - I.frickin.love.it.  Anyways the school does not really let in the Duggar type.  They have let in a few Gothardites and the author of the book was allowed access to the students.  Interviewing students who have dated but found themselves in "courting" describe the experience as dating on the extreme fast track.  One student said that on the first date he/she was confronted with questions on birth control, headship, and other crazy first date questions.  It must have been a boy because the student said that a circa 1800s father showed up and put the kibosh on the "courtship".  He found himself out of a relationship he didn't know he was in.  Hilarious!

 

If you have not read this book I highly recommend it.

[GEML]

^^^^^^Seconded. And the website Homeschoolers Anonymous is another good resource for a view from the other side of the prairie skirt.

[DangerousMinds]

I am reading God's Harvard a book about the political right at Patrick Henry College.  A quick shout out to the poster who recommended it - I.frickin.love.it.  Anyways the school does not really let in the Duggar type.  They have let in a few Gothardites and the author of the book was allowed access to the students.  Interviewing students who have dated but found themselves in "courting" describe the experience as dating on the extreme fast track.  One student said that on the first date he/she was confronted with questions on birth control, headship, and other crazy first date questions.  It must have been a boy because the student said that a circa 1800s father showed up and put the kibosh on the "courtship".  He found himself out of a relationship he didn't know he was in.  Hilarious!

 

If you have not read this book I highly recommend it.

Do they ask the applicants exactly what religion they follow? I went to only heathen universities so am unfamiliar such a screening process.

[GEML]

I don't know exactly what they ask, but even some of the "liberal" (small l) Christian colleges ask for a statement of faith, a recommendation from your minister and often you answer a series of questions that include things that would tell them about your Christian life, from church attendance, alcohol and drug use, etc.  You would also sign a form saying that you agree to certain things as long as you are a student on campus, including such things as attending chapel X number of times a week, refraining from certain things (ranging from certain types of sexual practices from visiting in dorm rooms to kissing, depending on the school, to smoking, drinking, etc), and taking part in a Christian lifestyle that the college sees as part of its mission along with an education.

[galax-arena]

jumper sage, glad you like the book!

 

DangerousMinds, PHC requires all students and faculty members to subscribe to this statement of faith. Students also have to follow a student covenant. You can also read the student handbook here, it's a trip.

 

And remember, the founder of the college, Michael Farris, sounds downright reasonable compared to the Duggars. 

Edited September 10, 2014 by galax-arena

[DangerousMinds]

Interesting, thank you both!

[GEML]

And Farris is far from reasonable. I live in the county next to PHC, and let's just say he had a certain reputation even outside of the college that is well known locally.

[natyxg]

This is a major pet peeve of my mine.Why can't the kids just be kids for a change and lounge around the house in their PJ's? I love to lounge around in my PJ's on a lazy Saturday. Who is going to be defrauded? It's like the children aren't really allowed to feel at home. They're treated as orphans or something.

Another thing that annoys the shit out of me is that they preach modesty but act the opposite of modest. Josh driving a gas guzzling Hummer, showing Anna giving birth on the toilet etc but Michelle does not want anyone to see her knees.

I also believe they need to widen their vocabulary to include other words besides 'blessing', 'precious ', 'neat,.

Oh and everything about Michelle annoys the shit out of me.From her Aquanetted mullet hair to her helium -sounding voice.I hate that she projects her issues of purity and sexuality onto her daughters. It's my opinion that she uses emotional blackmail on her children to get what she wants 100% of the time.

 

The boys I imagine. I learned over here that they don't even allow frontal hugs between siblings. I find these people creepier and creepier, frankly.

 

ETA: Just to clarify that I don't think anyone would be defrauded, I just meant that I guess that's what they think.

Edited September 11, 2014 by natyxg

[ramble]

The clothes vs. pajamas think just sounds mean. I was a long term cosleeper. The pj snuggles are some of the best part of parenting! My kids still sleep with me on Christmas Eve or if someone is sick. They're 12 & 15 & I often wish they wouldn't try to sneak in if I happen to try to sleep in, but they're kids & IMO that's what kids do. I have amazing memories of snuggling & it's when we have some of the best talks. I guess my biggest issue is that these people don't seem to treasure their kids. They talk like they're blessings but they don't treat them as such.

[WTFFF]

Y'all are missing the obvious here - it doesn't matter what they wear; Michelle will never cuddle a child over the age of six months anyway.

 

I really don't get why they think the boys - and it would be the boys, because only boys can be defrauded with how people are dressed; girls are defrauded with emotions - will be defrauded by their own siblings if they wear nightgowns or pajama pants.  Shouldn't that imply that something is clearly very fucked up in their lifestyle?  Are they on some level aware that this is insane? 

 

Maybe they just don't want to do the extra laundry, but they do so much unnecessary laundry anyway if the pop-ups are in any way accurate; what's a little more?  And it's not like anyone but Grandma does the laundry these days anyway, and god knows they've never worried about putting her out.

[andromeda331]

I guess my biggest issue is that these people don't seem to treasure their kids.

 

 

This is my biggest issue too. I don't understand how they don't treasure or care about them. Even seeing all of Michelle ignoring and not caring I still don't understand how a mother could be that way. How she could care for a child for six months and just hand him or her off. How can you not want to be there for the rest of their lives? How can you live in the house with four little girls and not want to go and play with them? How can you live in the house with so many young boys and not want to be out their playing with them or being excited at your daughter's engagement,excited about helping to plan her wedding, and another daughter about to be engaged? How can you look at your grandchildren and simply not care? I know she doesn't but I still can't understand it. 

[WhitneyWhit]

Can we talk about their wedding registries? I don't believe the price of a gift should reflect the price of the wedding, but it's just so tacky that these people, who have the means, throw these cheap ass weddings yet register for everything on the store shelf, including computers! It's just so tacky. What's even worse is that their dumbass fans buy it for them.

[NausetGirl]

What in the hell did they get an industrial dishwasher for? Don't they have more than one? It's so annoying. I might use paper plates for a special event (we don't have a dishwasher), but I can't imagine using disposable EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

 

Five bucks says a GREAT DEAL of the industrial kitchen equipment was donated or at the very least, purchased at a massive discount.  Will check to see if TLC shows brand names from time to time.  They often show the piano manufacturer's name.

[ginger90]

They often show the piano manufacturer's name.

 

Is that the piano that was a "surprise" from the designer?

I was watching an older episode the other day and Pledge Multi-Surface Cleaner was so obviously a sponsor that it was ridiculous. Have we seen them use it since? Not that I recall! (Michelle was actually using it too)

Edited September 11, 2014 by ginger90

[leighroda]

1) pajama-gate I wonder if that's always been the rule, I think I remember semi-recently on one of the reruns of when it was 14 or 15 kids and counting they did a little montage of the constant line in front of the bathroom in the old house and some kids were wearing pajamas, like oversized tshirts and pants... But I could be wrong.

2) I hated how when they were showing the bates remodel, how they kept talking about how THEY wanted to bless them, and especially Michelle kept saying "WE placed tile, WE worked through the night" yet we never saw Michelle so much as pick up a hammer.

3) also on the topic of the remodel kind... They frequently showed the girls pitching in and helping... Jana was even cutting tile so it's not like they were just doing "pretty" jobs. Michelle said in One of the talking heads how important it is to let the girls help with even "dirty" jobs, which I do actually agree it's great to see them doing manual labor just as well as the guys...but something tells me the same does not go for the guys doing any sort of housework/howler wrangling... I doubt john David could make tatortot cassarole if his life depended on it.

[NausetGirl]

Another thing I hate is the fact that they buy used shoes for the kids.  I can understand the used clothes, but shoes are (IMO) not something to be buying used - especially for children learning to walk.  After shoes are worn for a while, they have pretty much molded and been broken in to the original persons foot.  

 

Not to mention, I find it gross.  You can't wash most shoes before you wear them.  

 

They don't even value their girls' feet enough to buy supportive closed shoes.  Nothing but sandals or even worse, flip-flops for females.  But I notice the males have proper footwear.  Just disgusting.

Edited September 12, 2014 by NausetGirl

[NausetGirl]

I don't understand all the hate on the girls wearing flip flops. I wear em all the time in the summer, and to me as long as it's not the dead of winter and they're not playing a sport or doing a dangerous activity flip flops are fine.

 

There's nothing wrong with flip-flops at the beach or when you're relaxing at the movies.  But they are not supportive footwear and not good to wear all the time.  Ask any doctor, podiatrist or even shoe salesmen.  I have friends and family who've gone the flip-flop/sandal route in a major way - although not to the extent the Duggar girls have - and when you get to be 30, 40 or more, you will regret it when major foot, ankle, knee and leg issues begin to settle in.

[fliptopbox]

Well I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on the footwear, since I don't see it as a major issue. And most of the offenders are adults now, so it's their choice.

 

I just don't understand the point of all the industrial kitchen appliances when it seems they rarely cook beyond adding a bunch of canned and frozen shit to a baking dish and call it a casserole. And they never seem to need to wash dishes since they use nothing but disposable. Why even bother then? I have a friend whose family is like that. They actually save and wash plastic silverware to reuse. It weirds me out. Just get real silverware! I swear, the rate that family goes through disposable products they could probably purchase nice sets of dishes and silverware for the whole family, multiple times over. And I do mean both the Duggars and my friend's family. Convenience isn't always cheaper.

[rainsunmoonshine]

I paused and studied the girls dormitory (how incredibly stupid to have such a thing in a family home).  There were two full sized beds, one twin, and one set of bunk beds.  Nine girls live there.  Let's forget that four of them don't even have beds.  We have girls nearing their mid-twenties who are sharing beds with their siblings.  While that was perfectly fine for my mom and her eight siblings growing up as sharecropper's children in Arkansas, I think it's unacceptable here.  Josie is not even potty trained.  At her age, she needs serious pull ups or lucky Jana gets peed on every night.  I don't see cheapskate Jim Bob buying expensive diapers.

 

I agree completely that it's Michelle holding back Jana.  Jana is (by far) the most selfless and she made the mistake of revealing her resentment.  Michelle will punish her forever.  Josie will never care for herself at the rate that they're going.  The youngest usually gets stuck caring for the elderly parents.  Josie's out.  If Jordyn skips out on that family (I can hope), Jana is there for life.

How did Jana show her resentment? Does Josie have developmental delays or a disability or something?

I'm from Australia, don't have cable so I've only seen a handful of episodes.

[ghoulina]

There's nothing wrong with flip-flops at the beach or when you're relaxing at the movies.  But they are not supportive footwear and not good to wear all the time.

 

I'm one who personally believes flip-flops belong at the beach/pool, and that's it. But I recognize that they are now very common and I don't see it as a big deal if someone wears them on a daily basis. BUT.....there are certain situations where they shouldn't be wearing them, such as trekking through the hills of South America or working on one of Boob's fixer-upper homes. Those girls should all own one good pair of sneakers, even if they don't wear them on a regular basis. Some of things they do in flip-flops are just NOT safe.

[truthtalk2014]

 Those girls should all own one good pair of sneakers, even if they don't wear them on a regular basis. Some of things they do in flip-flops are just NOT safe.

Every time they go hiking in flip flops I want to slap someone and tell them to wake up.  It's so funny that Jill has the thought to wear the tights under the freaking skirt.  Damn!  I guess she gave some thought to falling and brother and future hubby seeing her private parts under that skirt.  

[juneday]

I'm one who personally believes flip-flops belong at the beach/pool, and that's it. But I recognize that they are now very common and I don't see it as a big deal if someone wears them on a daily basis. BUT.....there are certain situations where they shouldn't be wearing them, such as trekking through the hills of South America or working on one of Boob's fixer-upper homes. Those girls should all own one good pair of sneakers, even if they don't wear them on a regular basis. Some of things they do in flip-flops are just NOT safe.

I live in the South and wear flip-flops and sandals pretty much all summer, because it's very hot and they are easy to slip on. That being said, I would never wear them doing physical activity or to a nice event such as church or a nice party or something. And I don't wear them past summer, then it's sneakers, boots, etc.