JD and Abbie: Captured Before the Rapture

[bigskygirl]

I forgot about Ben's sister. I would go to her since law enforcement officers need to look clean and presentable on the job.

[ginger90]

I’ve seen it mentioned on a different thread,  that Abbie has been a nurse “for years”. Is this what they said on the show? I’m curious because I thought she  became a LPN in 2017.

[Sew Sumi]

Maybe she was a CNA before going to school? Maybe she sung at nursing homes for all we know. It wouldn't be the first time these people stretched the truth. 

[Barb23]

On 9/5/2018 at 11:35 PM, bigskygirl said:

Read an article where they said they knew each other for years, but they did not meet officially until last year. How can you know someone for years and officially not meet until last year. I think it was a set up between JB and Abbie's parents because people were asking about JD getting a girl and settling down. Yes they act like they are in love, but I think it is just the first time someone of the opposite sex giving each other the time of day and finally getting a chance to be physical with someone making them act like they do.

 

I agree with you. If the families had known each other, why did JD introduce her to his family like she was a total stranger? Or was that just another made for TV moment?Wouldn't he have said something  along the lines of "Remember the Burnetts? Well this is their daughter Abbie.  I caught up with her at a church function & we are dating."

Edited October 6, 2018 by Barb23
Oops, got my JB & JD mixed up.

[graefin]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I’ve seen it mentioned on a different thread,  that Abbie has been a nurse “for years”. Is this what they said on the show? I’m curious because I thought she  became a LPN in 2017.

She said she's been working as a nurse for years. I'd have to rewatch to get the exact quote.

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, graefin said:

She said she's been working as a nurse for years. I'd have to rewatch to get the exact quote.

Well, technically, if it’s been 366 days since she started on the job, it’s been more than a year; so ‘years’ is accurate.  Considering how many lies these people tell on a regular basis, this barely counts.

[graefin]

So I watched the scene again and Abbie actually says:

"What do I want people to know about me? I want everyone to know that I love John. I'm a nurse. I love . . . I've worked with geriatrics for several years and I love that. I love my family, and that's about it."

Technically it doesn't mean she's been licensed for several years. She could have been referring to her time as a student, or as a volunteer, or whatever.

[ginger90]

23 minutes ago, graefin said:

So I watched the scene again and Abbie actually says:

"What do I want people to know about me? I want everyone to know that I love John. I'm a nurse. I love . . . I've worked with geriatrics for several years and I love that. I love my family, and that's about it."

Technically it doesn't mean she's been licensed for several years. She could have been referring to her time as a student, or as a volunteer, or whatever.

Thank you, that does make a difference!

[awaken]

She may have been a CNA in a nursing home while getting her LPN, that might add to the years. 

[Lady Edith]

On the Topic of JD “knowing” Abby for years:

To me it’s all in the phrasing of this sentence. It’s possible to know “of” someone for years and never really meet them. You can run in the same social circles or be involved in the same groups or even church and never officially meet.  If this is the case then JD missed a key word in his sentence...”OF”.  As in “I knew OF her for years...”

To the Duggars there is precious little difference between a friend, an acquaintance, and someone they know on the periphery.  They don’t grasp the difference.  So I give JD a pass on the “I knew her for years” thing. 

[graefin]

John never says he knew Abbie for years. He literally says his family has known of her family for around 18 years, and he has seen her before, but he had never actually met her until recently. 

[DragonFaerie]

18 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I agree with you. If the families had known each other, why did JD introduce her to his family like she was a total stranger? Or was that just another made for TV moment?Wouldn't he have said something  along the lines of "Remember the Burnetts? Well this is their daughter Abbie.  I caught up with her at a church function & we are dating."

Maybe JD knows his family well.  I can almost see some of them going, Nope, who are the Burnetts? or Jessa possibly saying something rude about them before he then introduced Abbie.  

[GeeGolly]

Similar to what @Lady Edith posted, I think the Duggars, Bates etc, have 'known' many families for years. They meet them once at a conference in 1995 and see them again at a wedding in 2000 and see the parents of the family speak at another conference, and there you go. And they may all 'know' different members of the families. JD and Joy may have ridden bikes to two children of a family at that home-school gathering they go to, once and JB & M may have appeared with the parents at a conference once, three years later and they refer to the Smith family as friends.

JillR probably thinks of the Duggars and Bates families as close friends and I doubt the Duggars and Bates think much about the JillR gang once the RV pulls away.

Growing up I had uncles, aunts and cousins who lived in the south where my mom was from. They visited us twice. But I guess I 'knew' them for years because I did meet them. 

[queenanne]

I went to college with less than a thousand people total (freshman-seniors); and thus felt like I "knew" almost everyone.  I wouldn't say I was "good friends" with everyone in the roster, but you do feel like you know and see enough of Person X to be able to say, when asked, "Yeah, I 'knew' him.  To say 'hello' to, and he/she always struck me as a nice pleasant person," type of response. 

I can also see people being nowhere near as precise as me in the gradations, and saying "yes I 'know' so and so," or "yes, we're friends", (because I have a good feeling when I think of them, and we're not enemies).

[bigskygirl]

On ‎10‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 7:22 AM, graefin said:

John never says he knew Abbie for years. He literally says his family has known of her family for around 18 years, and he has seen her before, but he had never actually met her until recently. 

So he had to wait 18 years before being "officially introduced" so he could possibly court her. Seriously...Makes me think JB was waiting for the right time to get them together. They can pretend JD was waiting for the right moment to meet her and was interested in courting, but JB was running the whole thing. I also have a hard time believing they "love" each other because they barely know each other and were not allowed to court until JB and possibly her dad okayed it. They can pretend until the cows come home JB and Abbie are running their own show, but we all know JB has more of a say so in their relationship than what is being shown.

[kokapetl]

John-David and Abbie’s huggy interview wasn’t in the iTunes version of Josiah & Lauren's Prank-less Wedding. I don’t think Abbie was in it at all. I found the missing interview on dailymotion, with weird deep pirated audio. 

I paid good money to buy the season on iTunes, so the producers really should have gone the extra mile and had Abbie sign the waivers/clearance forms. 

Abbie’s hair is quite similar to Jana, the early years. 

Edited October 7, 2018 by kokapetl

[mythoughtis]

I do not think JB had anything  to do with JD meeting Abbie.  JD was flying from somewhere to that church area for a function- most likely giving a speech or something. I think he did it sans family( except for maybe Jill and Derick, since it was in Oklahoma).   Based on what we’ve seen in photos, and the Josiah-Lauren wedding episode, they aren’t following the Duggar rules. Michelle wouldn’t be putting up with that if she had anything  to say about it. ( remember how flustered she got by Jessa and Ben holding hands in a prayer circle,  Jill hugging Derick at the airport). Remember JB flinging Jill to his other side in Nepal when Derick put his hand on her back, glaring at Jeremy when Jeremy stretched his arm behind Jinger on the couch in his apartment?

I think JD introduced her to his family as his girlfriend ( done deal, Mom and Dad) for a reason. Nor do I think JD and Abbie called it courting. I think they think of it as dating.   JD calls it that, hesitantly, in his talking head as a way to appease their fans. I truly believe they have been seeing each other for a while and only made a public courting announcement when it was going to be made obvious on TV.   Makes me think that JB and Michelle have had to let JD do pretty much whatever he wants to keep him filming.  I think he hates being filmed. 

Edited October 7, 2018 by mythoughtis

[Spencer Hastings]

I find it interesting that they had to have cell phone videos showing JD bringing Abbie home.  No TLC cameras in sight.  He must’ve thrown everyone for a loop.

[DangerousMinds]

JD was allowed to travel without an accountability partner? I thought no one was.

1 minute ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I find it interesting that they had to have cell phone videos showing JD bringing Abbie home.  No TLC cameras in sight.  He must’ve thrown everyone for a loop.

But who taped the cell phone videos?

[Spencer Hastings]

4 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

JD was allowed to travel without an accountability partner? I thought no one was.

But who taped the cell phone videos?

Maybe Jana? I can see him giving her a heads up since she’s his closest sibling at home.  Was she in the grainy video?

[mythoughtis]

1 minute ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Maybe Jana? I can see him giving her a heads up since she’s his closest sibling at home.  Was she in the grainy video?

That would be my guess too. That or he called ahead to a couple of them and told them to film whatever happened when he came into the kitchen. He didn't  have to tell them he had Abbie with him. They are all so used to filming things that they wouldn’t bat an eye. 

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

So he had to wait 18 years before being "officially introduced" so he could possibly court her. Seriously...Makes me think JB was waiting for the right time to get them together. They can pretend JD was waiting for the right moment to meet her and was interested in courting, but JB was running the whole thing. I also have a hard time believing they "love" each other because they barely know each other and were not allowed to court until JB and possibly her dad okayed it. They can pretend until the cows come home JB and Abbie are running their own show, but we all know JB has more of a say so in their relationship than what is being shown.

The thing is, though, they're SO used to this. And in fact their cult actively and loudly preaches that GOD REQUIRES THIS. So it's just a background assumption for them.

If the producers kind of casually nudge JD and say -- When you introduce her, just introduce her as this woman you're dating -- I'm not sure whether JD (or Abbie or the rest) would even register that as a kind-of lie-by-omission intended to normalize them for the larger public or not. I've heard people say some crazy-ass things believing them because they're what they've always been supposed to believe. When something's just part of the day-to-day thinking in your closed-off milieu, you likely don't even think about it as potentially untrue. (This is assuming that JB WAS involved actively, of course.... I don't believe JD would have picked out a woman that he didn't KNOW JB would approve of -- but the approval MAY have been tacit, rather than an overt fixup, perhaps.)

And JD and the other Duggarlings know so few people for real, that I'd bet they have no actual clue that it's hundreds of millions of Americans who think the Duggar patriarchy thing is very strange indeed. 

Edited October 7, 2018 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

Zach Bates was so shy and so afraid of females due to his upbringing that his first stab at courtship failed. He eventually met Whitney, on his own, outside of Fundiland.

I think JD's experience is very similar to Zach's except he needed to mature to come out of his shell to get there. I also think JD held Josh up as some example of a good Fundy husband that he felt he wasn't able to match. It seems Josh's failures woke JD up and allowed him to finally become his own person and feel confident enough to date.

Edited October 7, 2018 by GeeGolly

[bigskygirl]

40 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

I do not think JB had anything  to do with JD meeting Abbie.  JD was flying from somewhere to that church area for a function- most likely giving a speech or something. I think he did it sans family( except for maybe Jill and Derick, since it was in Oklahoma).   Based on what we’ve seen in photos, and the Josiah-Lauren wedding episode, they aren’t following the Duggar rules. Michelle wouldn’t be putting up with that if she had anything  to say about it. ( remember how flustered she got by Jessa and Ben holding hands in a prayer circle,  Jill hugging Derick at the airport). Remember JB flinging Jill to his other side in Nepal when Derick put his hand on her back, glaring at Jeremy when Jeremy stretched his arm behind Jinger on the couch in his apartment?

I think JD introduced her to his family as his girlfriend ( done deal, Mom and Dad) for a reason. Nor do I think JD and Abbie called it courting. I think they think of it as dating.   JD calls it that, hesitantly, in his talking head as a way to appease their fans. I truly believe they have been seeing each other for a while and only made a public courting announcement when it was going to be made obvious on TV.   Makes me think that JB and Michelle have had to let JD do pretty much whatever he wants to keep him filming.  I think he hates being filmed. 

I think they are cutting back on the rules of dating/courting or what ever they want to call it. JB probably told JD go along with the filming, or no more flying because we all know JB is paying for the planes and owns Duggar Aviation.

[queenanne]

38 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

JD was allowed to travel without an accountability partner? I thought no one was.

But who taped the cell phone videos?

What about the other boy (Jedediah?) that we've seen in a cockpit having flying lessons?  He could fulfill both those requirements.  I would say either JD does have one and we don't see it; or maybe JB gives him more leeway because even he has realized that if your grown-ass son can, you know, *get in a machine and fly away from you*, it's pretty nitwitty to treat him like a child.

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I think they are cutting back on the rules of dating/courting or what ever they want to call it. JB probably told JD go along with the filming, or no more flying because we all know JB is paying for the planes and owns Duggar Aviation.

I think pieces of everyone’s theories are correct. JB most certainly controls JD more than a father of a 28yrs old son would outside of their social circle, but he has less control over him than he did 23 year old Jill (I haven’t gone back to check her age- I may be wrong). I do believe Abby and JD have a natural chemistry and ease that shows they are attracted to each other; given Abby isn’t an 18year old like Kendra was I see her saying “no” to the rule about two side hugs a day and all that. I think they do want to marry each other, i didn’t see this same ease with Josiah and Lauren. 

[BitterApple]

I haven't seen enough of JD and Abbie to form an opinion on how many of JB's tentacles are involved in this relationship. He basically arranged Josh's, Jill's, Joe's, Joy's and Si's marriages. Jinger was a fluke, because Jessa found Jeremy, and I think Jessa was somewhere in-between. None of these couples really met organically like Zach and Whitney Bates. I'm curious to see if JD will be the outlier or whether we're being misled and the fathers "nudged" their kids in each others' direction.

[graefin]

51 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I find it interesting that they had to have cell phone videos showing JD bringing Abbie home.  No TLC cameras in sight.  He must’ve thrown everyone for a loop.

Yup. Which also lends credence to the idea that this was not JB arranged. Remember those cringey Ben/Jessa, Derick/Jill courtship announcement videos? This was in a completely different vein.

[bigskygirl]

1 minute ago, queenanne said:

What about the other boy (Jedediah?) that we've seen in a cockpit having flying lessons?  He could fulfill both those requirements.  I would say either JD does have one and we don't see it; or maybe JB gives him more leeway because even he has realized that if your grown-ass son can, you know, *get in a machine and fly away from you*, it's pretty nitwitty to treat him like a child.

JB owns the planes JD flies so yes in some ways he treats him like a child aka do what I want you to do or daddy will take away your planes. He probably thinks JD should be thankful to him because how would he have met Abbie, falling in Duggar style "love" with her and is getting married next month if daddy did not allow him to fly one time and was able to meet Abbie.

2 minutes ago, graefin said:

Yup. Which also lends credence to the idea that this was not JB arranged. Remember those cringey Ben/Jessa, Derick/Jill courtship announcement videos? This was in a completely different vein.

They could be playing around with the whole thing to prove to people JB had nothing to do with it, but in reality, he had a part in the whole thing.

[Scarlett45]

6 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I haven't seen enough of JD and Abbie to form an opinion on how many of JB's tentacles are involved in this relationship. He basically arranged Josh's, Jill's, Joe's, Joy's and Si's marriages. Jinger was a fluke, because Jessa found Jeremy, and I think Jessa was somewhere in-between. None of these couples really met organically like Zach and Whitney Bates. I'm curious to see if JD will be the outlier or whether we're being misled and the fathers "nudged" their kids in each others' direction.

Yeah- if JB didn’t want JD to be getting married he wouldn’t be. I can see the fathers “nudging” given both JD and Abby are older for never married adults in their social milieu. Jeremy is significantly older than Jinger, and Tabithia Paine is significantly younger than the rapist she married but other than that most of these fundy marriages are around people that are 2-3yrs in age of each other. 

Edited October 7, 2018 by Scarlett45

[DangerousMinds]

I read that JD "met" Abbie and 2 days later they were in a courtship/ relationship. Given that basically means soon engaged in their world, it still seems awfully fast to me for someone you've just spent a miniscule amount of time with. They could have kept talking and seeing each other without making it so "permanent" so quickly.

[Nysha]

31 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

They could have kept talking and seeing each other without making it so "permanent" so quickly.

That's doesn't seem to be allowed in Duggarville. 

[Sew Sumi]

40 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I read that JD "met" Abbie and 2 days later they were in a courtship/ relationship. Given that basically means soon engaged in their world, it still seems awfully fast to me for someone you've just spent a miniscule amount of time with. They could have kept talking and seeing each other without making it so "permanent" so quickly.

It was a week and two days, but who's counting? Permission could have been granted between the men in that time. Because it's all about the Patriarchy, even in a whirlwind fundie romance.

[queenanne]

13 minutes ago, Nysha said:

That's doesn't seem to be allowed in Duggarville. 

Let's say it all together now, lol:  "Courting is dating with a purpose." 

It would be anathema to everything we know about the Duggars, for someone to be "dating" and not announce that it means they're gunna get hitched, practically the first minute their hands touched.  Maybe as corny as JD thinks it is to call it "courting", he doesn't want Abbie to get talked about either.

[bigskygirl]

Maybe JD is thinking he is finally going to get some action, so he was in a rush to get engaged to get the show on road going if you catch my drift.

33 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

It was a week and two days, but who's counting? Permission could have been granted between the men in that time. Because it's all about the Patriarchy, even in a whirlwind fundie romance.

Gives new meaning to Counting On. Hmmm...

[Dollardraw]

Is there another Duggar wedding on the horizon besides this one? I was checking out of a hotel in Springdale this morning and saw the Duggar filming crew loading their vehicle. I asked if they were filming a new baby or wedding and they said pre-wedding events including dress shopping. I understood that filming is tomorrow. Less than a month before a wedding isn’t much time to get a dress.

[kalamac]

It's probably one of those setups where they've had the dress picked out for a while, but they will now go into the store and amongst all the heathen dresses that show off arms and cleavage, they magically 'find' the dress that is just perfect, because it was planted there ahead of time.

[McManda]

18 hours ago, Dollardraw said:

Less than a month before a wedding isn’t much time to get a dress.

When you have a three month engagement there isn't really much time for anything. 

[Fuzzysox]

On 10/9/2018 at 10:51 PM, Dollardraw said:

Is there another Duggar wedding on the horizon besides this one? I was checking out of a hotel in Springdale this morning and saw the Duggar filming crew loading their vehicle. I asked if they were filming a new baby or wedding and they said pre-wedding events including dress shopping. I understood that filming is tomorrow. Less than a month before a wedding isn’t much time to get a dress.

Maybe they are filming the bridal shower? Abbie hasn't had one yet that we know of right?

[DCCme]

On 9/30/2018 at 12:54 PM, BitterApple said:

It's nice to see a Duggar couple looking truly happy in the wake of the SiRen fiasco. 

I think Abbie is adorable. I love her curly hair. 

She and I have the same curl pattern, hair color and length and her hair looks so much better than mine ever does.  I legit want to know what products she uses.

[sigmaforce86]

On 10/7/2018 at 3:17 PM, DangerousMinds said:

I read that JD "met" Abbie and 2 days later they were in a courtship/ relationship. Given that basically means soon engaged in their world, it still seems awfully fast to me for someone you've just spent a miniscule amount of time with. They could have kept talking and seeing each other without making it so "permanent" so quickly.

Maybe they Zinged?  Oh wait they wouldn't have seen that movie it being a cartoon about evil supernatural beings and monsters and magic and such  (makes sign of cross with fingers, backs away slowly and goes to watch Sound of Music in the prayer closet).

Anyway, goofy "it's late afternoon and I need coffee" comments aside.............I really want to know too.  About the timing, how long before they went into courting mode did they know each other.  And by know that's actual met and talked face to face, why did they decide to date court is there actual attraction there or is there any hint of an arrangement with a push in each others direction from the parents...and more questions.      Well this is how they get us, now I want to watch next season and see how this plays out, what they show on TV and what we find out reading between the lines of what they show.  Curiosity is going to make me hate-watch this darn courtship and wedding right through the season!

That said I'll admit one thing - right now with just the info we have, the little we've seen and read I do think JD might be pretty happy with his choice and if so good for him.  I think Jill thought she was happy with her choice and may still think she's happy but there's a weird undercurrent there and Anna despite having drunk the kool-aid has still been put through the ringer emotionally.  Joy is probably happy enough but I have doubts about Austin.  Jessa is so carefully crafted it's nearly impossible to know the "real" her.  Josiah and Lauren? Jury is still out on that one.  I'd say Joe and Kendra and Jinger and Jeremy are the only two couples I'd believe are truly happy in a healthy sort of way.  So another actual happy non-fake pairing would be a very good thing at this point.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I think JD refers to her as his girlfriend and they say "dating" rather than courting because:

1) It's more palatable to viewers, especially since they're both older adults who we all want to hope are making their own decisions/living somewhat normal day-to-day adult lives where they interact with other non-Fundie people and know that are nearly 30 would never use the term "courting" in place of "dating." This may be a suggestion by TLC's producers or it may be JB finally getting a clue (and deciding it was okay for JD to "date" but daughters and other sons who are teens/barely out of their teens must use "courtship" vocabulary). The Duggars are all about how they do things "a little bit differently," but let's be real...we all know JB can be influenced to do some small diversions from their "different" if it means keeping the show going. 

2) Abbie has a real job in a hospital. She attended a secular LPN program (I think).  She's a Gothardite, BUT she interacts almost daily with mostly non-Gothardite people and has done so for years in nursing school & then as a nurse.  She knows none of those people (many of whom may watch the show, especially knowing she'd be on it) use the term "courting" instead of "dating" or "in a courtship with" instead of "my boyfriend/my girlfriend." Abbie speaks the real world vernacular and she probably wanted to use the words/terms her friends at work, from her LPN program use and that the "world" uses.  She's the first Duggar daughter-in-law who has spent time in the "world."  I'd be embarrassed to use "courting" on national TV if I was an employed adult living out in the secular world and would be returning to my day job (at least until the wedding).  In Abbie's shoes, I'd be dropping hints like crazy that JD should use "dating" and "my girlfriend" in anything that may make it into the public domain rather than the Gothardite-courtship-speak. 

Edited October 17, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Jenilane6]

Aaaannd the Bates family have been using the boyfriend/girlfriend terms for awhile.

[floridamom]

The Bates may have been USING the boyfriend/girlfriend term for a while but their relationships were always a 'courting' one with Daddy Bates controlling all the strings....just like Jim Bob Duggar. The slightly more intelligent Bates parents have realized that loosening the courting collar on the two involved was a better thing to do while maintaining all control nonetheless. They learned a lot from poor Zach's traumatic experience trying to simple SPEAK to a female; let alone a failed courtship. He was scared and devastated. His parents did that to him.

[PikaScrewChu]

33 minutes ago, floridamom said:

The Bates may have been USING the boyfriend/girlfriend term for a while but their relationships were always a 'courting' one with Daddy Bates controlling all the strings....just like Jim Bob Duggar. The slightly more intelligent Bates parents have realized that loosening the courting collar on the two involved was a better thing to do while maintaining all control nonetheless. They learned a lot from poor Zach's traumatic experience trying to simple SPEAK to a female; let alone a failed courtship. He was scared and devastated. His parents did that to him.

Wasn't it the Bates who were trying to be holier than thou about the touching rules too? Something along the lines of Sarah and Zach were unable to touch while courting. I can't remember now.

[wait.what]

Are we sure that she works at a hospital? I thought it looked like she worked in a nursing home. Many hospitals no longer hire LPNs many hospitals will only hire RNs.

[Sew Sumi]

She said she works/ed with geriatrics, so yeah, a nursing home setting seems most likely.

[Triple P]

18 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

She said she works/ed with geriatrics, so yeah, a nursing home setting seems most likely.

Hmmmm. Maybe JB & Mechelle are allowing the marriage so that they will have a legitimately trained nurse to care for them in their dotage. No office chair wheelchairs for these two!

(I kid, sort of...)

[Bayarea4]

Is anyone else counting the days until this wedding, or is it just me? I am so looking forward to it.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Bayarea4

[BitterApple]

5 hours ago, Bayarea4 said:

Is anyone else counting the days until this wedding, or is it just me? I am so looking forward to it.

I'm curious as well. It seems like the Burnetts are running the show, so it'll be interesting to compare this wedding to the Duggar-run disasters.