Josiah and Lauren: He Has To Marry Somebody

[BitterApple]

23 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

On topic: Do JD and Abby live at home?  Will they register for eleventy billion glassware sets like SiRen did?  I’m interested to see how their age and perceived maturity affect how they follow the norms. 

I'm assuming Abby lives at home. It's been rumored JD has been living on his own for a while, but I've never seen any proof to support that, so who knows.

[Mollie]

19 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

JD flies to Ada, OK often. I believe Abbie's family lives close by (can't recall the town's name offhand).

Abbie's family lives in Stratford, Oklahoma.  The nearest landing strip for small aircraft is in Ada, Oklahoma, 16 miles away.

Abbie's father appeared on the Duggars' special "Raising 16 Children" back in 2006.  Her parents are huge Gothardites and have appeared in advertising for ATI homeschooling.  They also were counselors at the Institute of Basic Life Principles Northwoods retreat center.

I'm saddened that John David will be sucked even deeper into the Gothard rabbit hole if he marries Abbie.  I had hoped that he was becoming more liberated.

[GeeGolly]

5 minutes ago, Mollie said:

Abbie's family lives in Stratford, Oklahoma.  The nearest landing strip for small aircraft is in Ada, Oklahoma, 16 miles away.

Abbie's father appeared on the Duggars' special "Raising 16 Children" back in 2006.  Her parents are huge Gothardites and have appeared in advertising for ATI homeschooling.  They also were counselors at the Institute of Basic Life Principles Northwoods retreat center.

I'm saddened that John David will be sucked even deeper into the Gothard rabbit hole if he marries Abbie.  I had hoped that he was becoming more liberated.

Maybe they've pulled away from Gothard? Abby has a degree and wears pants which are 2 things that Gothard followers don't do. Some folks do wake up. Let's hope Abby's family has.

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Maybe they've pulled away from Gothard? Abby has a degree and wears pants which are 2 things that Gothard followers don't do. Some folks do wake up. Let's hope Abby's family has.

Wake up and realize Gothardism isn't sustainable unless they actually want their kids to live in poverty. It's possible to be conservative Christians, even extremely conservative, without subscribing to a belief system that is more or less designed to keep families dumb, dirt poor, and constantly reproducing. 

Edited July 22, 2018 by Heathen
To emphasize one word and change another

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

It's been rumored JD has been living on his own for a while, but I've never seen any proof to support that, so who knows.

In an episode maybe last year John David talked about living at home and having his sisters cook and do laundry.  Jim Bob isn't letting go of one of his kidults until he has to do it.

[humbleopinion]

Where are the newlyweds living?

[Sew Sumi]

Josiah owns no property in either Washington or Benton Counties. I suppose that they're in a Boob rental. 

Edited July 22, 2018 by Sew Sumi

[GeeGolly]

30 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Josiah owns no property in either Washington or Benton Counties. I suppose that they're in a Boob rental. 

Where do Lauren's parents live? Maybe they live by them?

[humbleopinion]

Kendrab's log cabin is sweet... too bad she has such shitty neighbors..

[Marigold]

I haven't had a chance to watch the wedding but did see some pictures.  Michelle's pink dress is  horrendous.  It really looks like a parody of some sort, like it's not even real.  

Michelle's Tin Man dress was better.  At least it was just ugly.  This pink dress is FREAKISH. 

[humbleopinion]

Chell's dress looks like a table cloth with a hole cut out for her head...it doesn't lay like a poncho... her  large chest levels it then it drops with no waist.... like a cloth you throw on your  round table in your foyer.

Her low slung rack exceeds the lift power of her bra so it distorts the dress' shape.

  A pink round dress...very unflattering... unless you are a table....

[rue721]

The TLC videos of the wedding were strange.

I can't decide if I thought Lauren's dad's strong reaction was sweet or not. It was unsettling to me how he kept weeping and kissing her (on her head), and the ceremonial "first look" at the dress made me really uncomfortable because it seemed like too much of a bride/groom thing. On the other hand, I really did get the feeling that he loves her and that he was so emotional at seeing her reach a milestone genuinely because it's such an important moment in her life (in other words, I didn't think he was getting emotional because this means he's getting old or for any other selfish reason). I probably wouldn't have felt so unsettled by his pride/nostalgia/etc if it had been in the context of Lauren's high school or college graduation...but that all this emotion was pouring out of him over her wedding was a bit off-putting to me. I think part of what's bothering me is how getting married was being treated as The Biggest Possible Accomplishment of her life, which is so patriarchal, and part of what's bothering me are all the romantic/sexual connotations of getting married (which are not her dad's business to get so worked up over). But at the same time, I did find it touching to see how much he loves her and how he thanked the couple so respectfully for being given a place in their ceremony, etc...so I'm torn!

Meanwhile, Lauren's mom seemed really worried, and seemed to keep bringing up that her own husband has been her rock, how great having a strong marriage has in her own life, etc, in a way that made me think she was hinting that she's unsure about Lauren's marriage. That might just be based on age -- Lauren is only 19, isn't she? But I just generally got the feeling that her mom isn't on board. And Lauren seemed to brush right by that because she seems to think it's "now or never!" in terms of her ever getting married. Which was really odd to me, too. How could anyone, even in this subculture, consider herself an old maid or hopeless at such a young age? Since she and Josiah specifically brought up children in their vows, I wonder if she's worried about not being able to produce enough kids or if she's just really rushing to get her seat on the Baby Train? Not that it's so unusual for them to mention children, given that this seems to be a pretty religiously motivated marriage. I mean, you cannot tell me that if both these kids weren't from Gothard/Quiverfull families that they would be getting married and talking about children in their vows right now, I'm sorry. So I guess their vows were another way of showing what a good Gothard man and woman they are, lol.

As for Josiah and the groom's side of things...he seemed really nervous, and in retrospect, I think he was freaking out about the wedding night. Didn't Michelle even say in some inappropriately public venue (a speech?!) that he had been asking her about the wedding night and that's what he was most anxious/excited about? He probably felt he needed to prove himself as a man and was freaking out that it wouldn't work somehow (who knows how. Whatever the male equivalent of not having a bloody sheet in the morning would be, I guess). Which I feel bad for both him and Lauren for, because there is no way that a wedding night or sex generally is going to go well under that sort of pressure. Anyway, I noticed how he kept looking out into the audience during the ceremony, I guess at his parents (?), like yet again, he felt he had something to prove or like the wedding was some kind of feat for him. The whole thing was so Game of Thrones-y in that sense, wasn't it? Like the Arkansas Fundy version of Sansa and Tyrion's wedding lol. Anyway, it also occurred to me that there were no real intimate moments between Josiah and his parents like there were between Lauren and hers (just a (very sweet and loving) hug between Josiah and Joe). Even just out of all the TLC weddings I've seen, there have certainly been sadder ones in terms of the groom's family not coming through for him (90 Day Fiance with Noon and I-think-his-name-is-Kyle? That was a depressing one). But that said, the contrast between Lauren's (albeit kind of weird) family treating her like a beloved daughter going through a huge life event (as well they should!) and Josiah's mostly indifferent and mostly absentee (even weirder) parents barely making it into the episode did make me feel bad for him. And then after the vows were said, he just tore off down the stairs to start that awful running-from-the-chapel tradition that they all seem to adhere to, and practically forgot Lauren while he did it. I really think that he and Lauren both feel like "leftovers" and are disproportionately relieved/happy that someone will have them. Who knows why that is -- I'm sure it's for some weird cult-based reasons that wouldn't make any sense to a mainstream person anyway.

I'm sorry, but I think this is an ill-fated marriage and I just preemptively feel bad for them -- and sick at the thought that in addition to the brainwashing, lack of education, neglect (in Josiah's case, anyway), and specter of poverty keeping them leashed to JB and Michelle (and their cult), they're about to tie themselves down with as many infants as they can, too. Honestly, I think that some of the Duggar kidults are quite happy in their current lifestyle, and are probably even happier than my independent and educated self was at their age (Jinger, Jessa, Joe, now JD -- they all seem happy in their families/relationships, to me). But I don't see this couple turning out that way, unfortunately. They seem to be using marriage as a band-aid for some problems or worries they each have with themselves, and I don't think that's the kind of thing that marriage can actually fix. Who knows what can fix it, though, so good on them for trying?

[madpsych78]

42 minutes ago, rue721 said:

As for Josiah and the groom's side of things...he seemed really nervous, and in retrospect, I think he was freaking out about the wedding night. Didn't Michelle even say in some inappropriately public venue (a speech?!) that he had been asking her about the wedding night and that's what he was most anxious/excited about? He probably felt he needed to prove himself as a man and was freaking out that it wouldn't work somehow (who knows how. Whatever the male equivalent of not having a bloody sheet in the morning would be, I guess). Which I feel bad for both him and Lauren for, because there is no way that a wedding night or sex generally is going to go well under that sort of pressure. Anyway, I noticed how he kept looking out into the audience during the ceremony, I guess at his parents (?), like yet again, he felt he had something to prove or like the wedding was some kind of feat for him. The whole thing was so Game of Thrones-y in that sense, wasn't it? Like the Arkansas Fundy version of Sansa and Tyrion's wedding lol. Anyway, it also occurred to me that there were no real intimate moments between Josiah and his parents like there were between Lauren and hers (just a (very sweet and loving) hug between Josiah and Joe). Even just out of all the TLC weddings I've seen, there have certainly been sadder ones in terms of the groom's family not coming through for him (90 Day Fiance with Noon and I-think-his-name-is-Kyle? That was a depressing one). But that said, the contrast between Lauren's (albeit kind of weird) family treating her like a beloved daughter going through a huge life event (as well they should!) and Josiah's mostly indifferent and mostly absentee (even weirder) parents barely making it into the episode did make me feel bad for him. And then after the vows were said, he just tore off down the stairs to start that awful running-from-the-chapel tradition that they all seem to adhere to, and practically forgot Lauren while he did it. I really think that he and Lauren both feel like "leftovers" and are disproportionately relieved/happy that someone will have them. Who knows why that is -- I'm sure it's for some weird cult-based reasons that wouldn't make any sense to a mainstream person anyway.

Good catch. Even JB and Michelle had a "moment" with Joe at his wedding (granted, it may have been for the show) and JB has certainly had moments with his daughters. Maybe when TLC plays the Josiah/Lauren wedding two more times (lol, because they ended up showing JoKen wedding three times) they will show a scene with JB/Michelle has a "heartfelt" scene with Josiah.

 

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

I haven't had a chance to watch the wedding but did see some pictures.  Michelle's pink dress is  horrendous.  It really looks like a parody of some sort, like it's not even real.  

Michelle's Tin Man dress was better.  At least it was just ugly.  This pink dress is FREAKISH. 

The thing about the Tin Man dress was that it was a nice dress to start, but Michelle's alterations were not especially flattering. It looked a lot better when Kelly Bates wore it.

 

[McManda]

Did Michelle make that dress longer and give it a turtleneck? Why?!

It's better (but not great) on Kelly because it doesn't quite look as much like a giant tube of ruffles.

[Westiepeach]

5 minutes ago, McManda said:

Did Michelle make that dress longer and give it a turtleneck? Why?!

It's better (but not great) on Kelly because it doesn't quite look as much like a giant tube of ruffles.

How else would we know how modest MEchelle is????

[louannems]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Good catch. Even JB and Michelle had a "moment" with Joe at his wedding (granted, it may have been for the show) and JB has certainly had moments with his daughters. Maybe when TLC plays the Josiah/Lauren wedding two more times (lol, because they ended up showing JoKen wedding three times) they will show a scene with JB/Michelle has a "heartfelt" scene with Josiah.

 

The thing about the Tin Man dress was that it was a nice dress to start, but Michelle's alterations were not especially flattering. It looked a lot better when Kelly Bates wore it.

 

No! It is NOT a nice dress to begin with!!!

[Fuzzysox]

Pickles has a picture of the whole gang in Springfield, IL. The newlyweds included. Wonder why in the world they would come to Illinois? Go away we already had to suffer when Josh was in Rockford, IL !

[GeeGolly]

Ugh, the Tin Man dress, the Fundy equivalent of Madonna's cone-boob bustier. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

That dress would have looked a lot better without the jacket. Not that it’s pretty, but the sleeves just made it too heavy.  With the original neckline, no sleeves, and some nice heels, it could be flattering on the right person.  

[floridamom]

Michelle is about a foot shorter than Kelly Bates. IF Michelle absolutely had to wear that awful dress, she needed a PETITE in her size. Obviously, she didn't get the right sized proportion of that monstrosity so it looked worse on her than it did Kelly Bates.

[kokapetl]

On 23/07/2018 at 3:03 AM, Ijustwantsomechips said:

On topic: Do JD and Abby live at home?  Will they register for eleventy billion glassware sets like SiRen did?  I’m interested to see how their age and perceived maturity affect how they follow the norms. 

Will they fly away, never to be seen again?

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Michelle is about a foot shorter than Kelly Bates. IF Michelle absolutely had to wear that awful dress, she needed a PETITE in her size. Obviously, she didn't get the right sized proportion of that monstrosity so it looked worse on her than it did Kelly Bates.

I don't think Kelly Bates is any taller than average. Gil is short for a man, and that makes Kelly look taller when standing next to him. As for Mullet -- she's shrunk a lot since the first special. I hate speculation about other people's health, but my guess for her is osteoporosis. 

Michelle looks like shit pretty much no matter what she wears. Some people have a presence and sense of style, but she isn't one of them. 

[BradandJanet]

Metropolis's Maria: The inspiration for Me-chelle's silver wedding getup. Add ruffles and wear a mop on your head. Take all attention away from the bride.

 

----------A 

[Fuzzysox]

Every time a picture of the Duggar clan is posted I so want to grab the scissors on my desk and go to town cutting all their hair off. That long straggly hair is so unattractive. Jesus I can't imagine what their drains look like.

[kokapetl]

1 hour ago, BradandJanet said:

Metropolis's Maria: The inspiration for Me-chelle's silver wedding getup. Add ruffles and wear a mop on your head. Take all attention away from the bride.

 

----------A 

Inspiration for C3PO, yes, but Michelle?! 

[farmgal4]

23 hours ago, McManda said:

Did Michelle make that dress longer and give it a turtleneck? Why?!

It's better (but not great) on Kelly because it doesn't quite look as much like a giant tube of ruffles.

IMO that’s one fugly dress, I don’t care who’s wearing it.

[farmgal4]

On 7/22/2018 at 6:20 PM, rue721 said:

The TLC videos of the wedding were strange.

I can't decide if I thought Lauren's dad's strong reaction was sweet or not. It was unsettling to me how he kept weeping and kissing her (on her head), and the ceremonial "first look" at the dress made me really uncomfortable because it seemed like too much of a bride/groom thing. On the other hand, I really did get the feeling that he loves her and that he was so emotional at seeing her reach a milestone genuinely because it's such an important moment in her life (in other words, I didn't think he was getting emotional because this means he's getting old or for any other selfish reason). I probably wouldn't have felt so unsettled by his pride/nostalgia/etc if it had been in the context of Lauren's high school or college graduation...but that all this emotion was pouring out of him over her wedding was a bit off-putting to me. I think part of what's bothering me is how getting married was being treated as The Biggest Possible Accomplishment of her life, which is so patriarchal, and part of what's bothering me are all the romantic/sexual connotations of getting married (which are not her dad's business to get so worked up over). But at the same time, I did find it touching to see how much he loves her and how he thanked the couple so respectfully for being given a place in their ceremony, etc...so I'm torn!

Meanwhile, Lauren's mom seemed really worried, and seemed to keep bringing up that her own husband has been her rock, how great having a strong marriage has in her own life, etc, in a way that made me think she was hinting that she's unsure about Lauren's marriage. That might just be based on age -- Lauren is only 19, isn't she? But I just generally got the feeling that her mom isn't on board. And Lauren seemed to brush right by that because she seems to think it's "now or never!" in terms of her ever getting married. Which was really odd to me, too. How could anyone, even in this subculture, consider herself an old maid or hopeless at such a young age? Since she and Josiah specifically brought up children in their vows, I wonder if she's worried about not being able to produce enough kids or if she's just really rushing to get her seat on the Baby Train? Not that it's so unusual for them to mention children, given that this seems to be a pretty religiously motivated marriage. I mean, you cannot tell me that if both these kids weren't from Gothard/Quiverfull families that they would be getting married and talking about children in their vows right now, I'm sorry. So I guess their vows were another way of showing what a good Gothard man and woman they are, lol.

As for Josiah and the groom's side of things...he seemed really nervous, and in retrospect, I think he was freaking out about the wedding night. Didn't Michelle even say in some inappropriately public venue (a speech?!) that he had been asking her about the wedding night and that's what he was most anxious/excited about? He probably felt he needed to prove himself as a man and was freaking out that it wouldn't work somehow (who knows how. Whatever the male equivalent of not having a bloody sheet in the morning would be, I guess). Which I feel bad for both him and Lauren for, because there is no way that a wedding night or sex generally is going to go well under that sort of pressure. Anyway, I noticed how he kept looking out into the audience during the ceremony, I guess at his parents (?), like yet again, he felt he had something to prove or like the wedding was some kind of feat for him. The whole thing was so Game of Thrones-y in that sense, wasn't it? Like the Arkansas Fundy version of Sansa and Tyrion's wedding lol. Anyway, it also occurred to me that there were no real intimate moments between Josiah and his parents like there were between Lauren and hers (just a (very sweet and loving) hug between Josiah and Joe). Even just out of all the TLC weddings I've seen, there have certainly been sadder ones in terms of the groom's family not coming through for him (90 Day Fiance with Noon and I-think-his-name-is-Kyle? That was a depressing one). But that said, the contrast between Lauren's (albeit kind of weird) family treating her like a beloved daughter going through a huge life event (as well they should!) and Josiah's mostly indifferent and mostly absentee (even weirder) parents barely making it into the episode did make me feel bad for him. And then after the vows were said, he just tore off down the stairs to start that awful running-from-the-chapel tradition that they all seem to adhere to, and practically forgot Lauren while he did it. I really think that he and Lauren both feel like "leftovers" and are disproportionately relieved/happy that someone will have them. Who knows why that is -- I'm sure it's for some weird cult-based reasons that wouldn't make any sense to a mainstream person anyway.

I'm sorry, but I think this is an ill-fated marriage and I just preemptively feel bad for them -- and sick at the thought that in addition to the brainwashing, lack of education, neglect (in Josiah's case, anyway), and specter of poverty keeping them leashed to JB and Michelle (and their cult), they're about to tie themselves down with as many infants as they can, too. Honestly, I think that some of the Duggar kidults are quite happy in their current lifestyle, and are probably even happier than my independent and educated self was at their age (Jinger, Jessa, Joe, now JD -- they all seem happy in their families/relationships, to me). But I don't see this couple turning out that way, unfortunately. They seem to be using marriage as a band-aid for some problems or worries they each have with themselves, and I don't think that's the kind of thing that marriage can actually fix. Who knows what can fix it, though, so good on them for trying?

I think Josiah’s only saving grace at having a somewhat happy life will happen when they start having kids.  I think Josiah will be a fun, devoted dad who will truly love and appreciate his children.

[Temperance]

It's worth pointing out Grandma Mary wore the tinman dress in white to somebody's wedding. 

[doodlebug]

10 hours ago, Temperance said:

It's worth pointing out Grandma Mary wore the tinman dress in white to somebody's wedding. 

Aside from wearing white to someone else' wedding, I think the dress would be far better without the tinfoil touches.  I also kinda give a pass to the elderly when it comes to weddings, wearing white when you're old because that's what you have is fine by me.  I am sure no one mistook Grandma Mary for the bride.

[flyingdi]

Watched the wedding video.  It's such a shame that both of Josiah 's girlfriends suffered from such low self esteem!

[libgirl2]

10 hours ago, Temperance said:

It's worth pointing out Grandma Mary wore the tinman dress in white to somebody's wedding. 

What is it with everyone wearing the same dress? Discounts? Hand me downs? 

[Loves2Dance]

On 7/14/2018 at 4:31 PM, mynextmistake said:

Pickles claims there was a meal at the reception.

I am going to break with most folks and say i don’t think it’s a requirement that guests be served a full meal at a wedding reception. Where i’m from, most families are of modest means and a plain cake and punch reception is a pretty common thing. My reception was at 2 pm and we just did a variety of hot and cold appetizers and then cake. Nobody is going to starve to death in two or three hours. I’m sure there was a chik-fil-A nearby for guests who got desperate.

I went to a wedding once where an invite to the wedding didn't equal an invite to the reception. I had no idea what I was walking into, but when you went from the wedding area to the reception area you had to find your name. If you didn't have a name, you weren't invited in. Those invited in got a full 3 course meal. It caused A LOT of controversy. But it may be something the Duggars should consider---with warnings of course. If it's too much to feed your guests, cut it down. 

[ehall1052]

4 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

I went to a wedding once where an invite to the wedding didn't equal an invite to the reception. I had no idea what I was walking into, but when you went from the wedding area to the reception area you had to find your name. If you didn't have a name, you weren't invited in. Those invited in got a full 3 course meal. It caused A LOT of controversy. But it may be something the Duggars should consider---with warnings of course. If it's too much to feed your guests, cut it down. 

I’ve been invited to 2 such weddings! I never heard of the practice, so for the first wedding, it didn’t have a return RSVP note and I thought it was an oversight. Imagine my embarrassment to find out I wasn’t invited to the reception. The second wedding, I was a little wiser. I received the wedding invitation & I knew I wasn’t invited to the reception, but imagine my surprise when I found out there were 2 receptions! One for the cake and punch (which I wasn’t invited to) and one with a sit down dinner for the “close” friends. 

[DaisyDuke]

52 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

I went to a wedding once where an invite to the wedding didn't equal an invite to the reception. I had no idea what I was walking into, but when you went from the wedding area to the reception area you had to find your name. If you didn't have a name, you weren't invited in. Those invited in got a full 3 course meal. It caused A LOT of controversy. But it may be something the Duggars should consider---with warnings of course. If it's too much to feed your guests, cut it down. 

I’m sorry but IMHO that is beyond tacky 

[kokapetl]

The D looks familiar...

[Ijustwantsomechips]

48 minutes ago, ehall1052 said:

I’ve been invited to 2 such weddings! I never heard of the practice, so for the first wedding, it didn’t have a return RSVP note and I thought it was an oversight. Imagine my embarrassment to find out I wasn’t invited to the reception. The second wedding, I was a little wiser. I received the wedding invitation & I knew I wasn’t invited to the reception, but imagine my surprise when I found out there were 2 receptions! One for the cake and punch (which I wasn’t invited to) and one with a sit down dinner for the “close” friends. 

I hope you took your gift back on general principle ?The two reception thing is still better than not being invited at all. I’ve heard of people doing two.  One example was for a pastor or deacon or something.  The cake and punch reception was for all the chirch members and fellow clergy who wanted to attend based on a professional relationship, and the sit down dinner was for the wedding party, family and close friends.  And they were a couple hours apart.  I wouldn’t do it, but I got where they were going with it.  Personally I’d rather serve everyone important to me to grocery store sheet cake and Costco sandwiches than exclude loved ones in favor of a fancy meal.  And I would rather someone do the same for me.   

The Duggars shouldn’t need to make any exceptions though.  If you can afford private planes, than you can afford to feed 1000 people a cheese tray, meatballs and finger sandwiches.  Or a reasonable buffet of fish or chicken, a starch, veggies and a roll.  It’s not like they’re drinking and dancing so they could have the reception at about 2 pm and skip a fancy meal.  

[Heathen]

I've heard of several weddings where guests were invited to the reception but NOT the ceremony itself. Now that's tacky. One was a fundie-lite/hypocrite wedding where the reception was a few weeks later, post-honeymoon. The other was a regular reception-following-ceremony wedding. 

I would not go to a wedding where I was invited to one or the other but not both. No way. I don't mind if the food isn't that great or the reception is blah. But I do mind being treated solely as a bearer of gifts. 

Back on topic: I wonder what food the Josiahs had at their reception. (I'm hungry.) 

[BitterApple]

The Royals actually do the "A" and "B" crowd as well. Both Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle had a morning reception with canapés for all wedding attendees, however only the A-listers get invited to the evening dinner. Personally I think it's tacky regardless of your economic status, but apparently not unheard of.

Si and Lauren's venue looked way more tastefully decorated than any of the others. I don't know if that's due to the Swansons or if the Duggars are making progress.

Edited July 24, 2018 by BitterApple

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, ehall1052 said:

I’ve been invited to 2 such weddings! I never heard of the practice, so for the first wedding, it didn’t have a return RSVP note and I thought it was an oversight. Imagine my embarrassment to find out I wasn’t invited to the reception. The second wedding, I was a little wiser. I received the wedding invitation & I knew I wasn’t invited to the reception, but imagine my surprise when I found out there were 2 receptions! One for the cake and punch (which I wasn’t invited to) and one with a sit down dinner for the “close” friends. 

My wedding was somewhat like that...I guess the difference being that there were no invitations sent out - the reception was for only about 30 people; us, my parents, Mr. Jyn's parents and 6 siblings (one of whom was best man), my maid of honor, her parents, a few aunts/uncles/cousins of mine from England (since I'm an only child I got to have other than immediate family), and a very scant handful of VERY close friends. They were all invited personally, so no paper invitations seemed necessary.

The wedding was attended by anyone who knew about it and wanted to come - it was mostly friends of my parents' from my dad's Polish Scouting community who are very big on things like that. Including the people who were also at the reception there were probably 70 or 80 people at the church.

[DragonFaerie]

Ok, late to the party on this one.

I watched the two wedding videos.  Before this I had been giving Lauren a pass on the hair.  I figured with the heat and humidity of Arkansas summers, add it a long day, travel to the wedding site, etc, but no.  Now that I see her hair being done on site and it looked that bad to begin with someone fire the hairdresser.  Witj the back of the dress bling, her hair should have been in an up do and no long veil.

Why have the groomsmens and bridesmaids stand during the reception for the damn games?  They look miserable and bored - Joe, Austin, Hannah and the rest.  At least let them sit while you do the quiz games.  I think I finally figured out Jana being a bridesmaid.  I could see Kendra and Joy being ones because they are the closest to Lauren's age and with Kendra marrying only a year ago into the family they have hopefully become good friends.  Jana puzzled me at first since she's the oldest, but then it hit me.  How else do you honor Josiah's real mother when you already have Mechelle pulling her MOTY.  Yup, you stick your sister mom as a bridesmaid, you know, after she makes all the dresses for you as well.

So is it a current trend, a fundie trend or just a Duggar thing that if you pick someone to be a groomsman or bridesmaid you have to pick their spouse as well?  I can see Joy being picked, but why on earth Si picked Austin instead of another brother as one of his groomsmen, I don't see at all.

Yes Duggars, it's not the guests fault that you invited 1000 people.  You are not spending money that most people spend for a wedding/reception like a DJ or band/orchestra, an open bar or partially open bar, decorations - I'm remembering them picking weeds for Joy's wedding, and heaven knows you already have stacks of styrofoam plates at home that you can throw out for the folks.  Even something as simple as like fruit and cheese platters, veggie platters, finger sandwiches, etc, I'm sure would have been appreciated.  If you can't afford that then don't invite 1000 people.  I'm not saying fix them a 3 course meal or 10 street tacos per person (FT on Sister Wives) but something other than candy and cupcakes.

I got married in 93 and hubby and I payed for everything ourselves.  My parents came to us the week before the wedding, unexpectedly, with $300 for us, so that covered our photographer.  We pulled off a $500 wedding, which covered everything except our rings.  We had it on a friend's property that allowed most of the guests and wedding party to set up tents the day before and camp out so that no one had to splurge on a hotel room and no one had to leave the reception tipsy.  I made the outfits for the wedding party and us - my mom helped with my skirt and my hubby's shirt.  We had 2 of the 5 foot sandwiches from subway, sodas, a keg and boxes of wine.  While many people I have met since then absolutely have shuddered at the thought, the fact that hubby and I had used our savings to make the down payment on a house 2 months before we got married makes them blow their minds.  I was much happier having a home rather than a huge expensive wedding.

Then both sets of parents surprised us, one gave us a no frills washer and dryer for a wedding gift, the other a no frills fridge.  Way better than like a $5,000 wedding dress in my mind!

[McManda]

53 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

The Royals actually do the "A" and "B" crowd as well. Both Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle had a morning reception with canapés for all wedding attendees, however only the A-listers get invited to the evening dinner. 

I'll give royal weddings a pass. If your wedding is also a state event ... no way I'm inviting the entire world to my wedding but I'd also be salty that I'd be deprived a "real" wedding, especially if I was the one doing the marrying in.

A afternoon reception for all the foreign dignitaries and people I was required to invite and then a more traditional, party reception for my friends and family in the evening is just fine, I think.

[DkNNy79]

13 minutes ago, McManda said:

I'll give royal weddings a pass. If your wedding is also a state event ... no way I'm inviting the entire world to my wedding but I'd also be salty that I'd be deprived a "real" wedding, especially if I was the one doing the marrying in.

A afternoon reception for all the foreign dignitaries and people I was required to invite and then a more traditional, party reception for my friends and family in the evening is just fine, I think.

Agree.  I think they invited a lot of folks from charities they supported to the wedding ceremony who weren't invited to the sit down lunch or dinner reception afterwards.. So not necessarily friends of theirs but more of an obligatory invite due to their station.  Plus these folks were not brining gifts...etc  Where I do think the Duggars expect some sort of gift from the 1,000+ people they invite to their wedding.

Yeah, I've never experienced being invited to the ceremony and not the reception or vice versa.  I do know folks who are most likely to skip the church ceremony because its boring and just show up for the reception.  I always make a point to attend both if possible as I think they are both important.

[ginger90]

Quote

Why have the groomsmens and bridesmaids stand during the reception for the damn games?  They look miserable and bored - Joe, Austin, Hannah and the rest.  At least let them sit while you do the quiz games

This reminded me of a picture from the wedding. There is a member of the wedding party in a wheelchair. It could be the angle, I suppose, but it would have been nice if he were positioned a bit better. 

Edited July 24, 2018 by ginger90

[libgirl2]

1 minute ago, DkNNy79 said:

Agree.  I think they invited a lot of folks from charities they supported to the wedding ceremony who weren't invited to the sit down lunch or dinner reception afterwards.. So not necessarily friends of theirs but more of an obligatory invite due to their station.  Plus these folks were not brining gifts...etc  Where I do think the Duggars expect some sort of gift from the 1,000+ people they invite to their wedding.

Yeah, I've never experienced being invited to the ceremony and not the reception or vice versa.  I do know folks who are most likely to skip the church ceremony because its boring and just show up for the reception.  I always make a point to attend both if possible as I think they are both important.

If we are invited to a wedding, we expect that we are invited to the ceremony and reception. Many times if we weren't close, we would just go to the reception. 

[ehall1052]

2 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I hope you took your gift back on general principle ?The two reception thing is still better than not being invited at all. I’ve heard of people doing two.  One example was for a pastor or deacon or something.  The cake and punch reception was for all the chirch members and fellow clergy who wanted to attend based on a professional relationship, and the sit down dinner was for the wedding party, family and close friends.  And they were a couple hours apart.  I wouldn’t do it, but I got where they were going with it.  Personally I’d rather serve everyone important to me to grocery store sheet cake and Costco sandwiches than exclude loved ones in favor of a fancy meal.  And I would rather someone do the same for me.   

The Duggars shouldn’t need to make any exceptions though.  If you can afford private planes, than you can afford to feed 1000 people a cheese tray, meatballs and finger sandwiches.  Or a reasonable buffet of fish or chicken, a starch, veggies and a roll.  It’s not like they’re drinking and dancing so they could have the reception at about 2 pm and skip a fancy meal.  

The groom was a wonderful young man in our church and I liked him and wanted to celebrate his wedding (yes, I gave a gift). The bride, who I did not know, was from Scotland.  Since the bride’s family paid for everything, I assumed that was the custom there, 2 receptions and not everyone invited. However, the wedding itself was beautiful. Everyone wore kilts and bagpipes played several songs. It was like watching a show. So I guess, in retrospect, I did get something out of going, just not food!

[Loves2Dance]

3 hours ago, ehall1052 said:

I’ve been invited to 2 such weddings! I never heard of the practice, so for the first wedding, it didn’t have a return RSVP note and I thought it was an oversight. Imagine my embarrassment to find out I wasn’t invited to the reception. The second wedding, I was a little wiser. I received the wedding invitation & I knew I wasn’t invited to the reception, but imagine my surprise when I found out there were 2 receptions! One for the cake and punch (which I wasn’t invited to) and one with a sit down dinner for the “close” friends. 

Yeah, it caused quite a stir. Especially after people left fuming and then others overheard so they then assumed they weren't invited in---family members, who were invited, didn't go into the reception because it was so poorly executed. I know of at least one family who went back into the church and grabbed their card back. Like I said, if you're gonna do this---at least warn people!

3 hours ago, DaisyDuke said:

I’m sorry but IMHO that is beyond tacky 

Of all the things the Duggars do, I doubt they'd even consider it as tacky. But I agree, it was definitely not my kind of wedding. 

[sleepysuzy]

The picture showing the tables looks like an effort was made for seating and decorating. I still don't think we have enough info to tell if there was more food other than cupcakes and candy. 

My wedding was two weeks before the reception, and only seven people were there. I wanted to elope,  but compromised that immediate family could come and we would have a big party later to celebrate. When I hear Lauren's breathy voice, it reminds me of how I sound when I am nervous, emotional, or feeling shy. My heart pounds so hard I can barely breath. That was part of why I didn't want to get married in front of a crowd. 

I have wondered if Lauren is just a nervous public speaker. Maybe her real voice isn't so shaky and whispery.

[BetyBee]

3 hours ago, DragonFaerie said:

I got married in 93 and hubby and I payed for everything ourselves.  My parents came to us the week before the wedding, unexpectedly, with $300 for us, so that covered our photographer.  We pulled off a $500 wedding, which covered everything except our rings.  We had it on a friend's property that allowed most of the guests and wedding party to set up tents the day before and camp out so that no one had to splurge on a hotel room and no one had to leave the reception tipsy.  I made the outfits for the wedding party and us - my mom helped with my skirt and my hubby's shirt.  We had 2 of the 5 foot sandwiches from subway, sodas, a keg and boxes of wine.  While many people I have met since then absolutely have shuddered at the thought, the fact that hubby and I had used our savings to make the down payment on a house 2 months before we got married makes them blow their minds.  I was much happier having a home rather than a huge expensive wedding.

Then both sets of parents surprised us, one gave us a no frills washer and dryer for a wedding gift, the other a no frills fridge.  Way better than like a $5,000 wedding dress in my mind!

I think your wedding sounds lovely, DragonFaerie!  You and hubby are very clever and your parents are very thoughtful!

I wonder when we'll next hear from Josiah and Lauren? 

Edited July 24, 2018 by BetyBee

[Fuzzysox]

18 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

 

I wonder when we'll next hear from Josiah and Lauren? 

After she has a positive pregnancy test of course!

[Catlyn]

On 7/22/2018 at 10:04 PM, louannems said:

Good catch. Even JB and Michelle had a "moment" with Joe at his wedding (granted, it may have been for the show) and JB has certainly had moments with his daughters. Maybe when TLC plays the Josiah/Lauren wedding two more times (lol, because they ended up showing JoKen wedding three times) they will show a scene with JB/Michelle has a "heartfelt" scene with Josiah.

 

The thing about the Tin Man dress was that it was a nice dress to start, but Michelle's alterations were not especially flattering. It looked a lot better when Kelly Bates wore it.

 

It's bad when amy Farrah Fowler looks better in the dress even if it's a different color.