Josiah and Lauren: He Has To Marry Somebody

[awaken]

I wonder where they are?  Of course, a car video!  Next they’ll be eating pizza in there and calling it date night!  

[rue721]

3 minutes ago, graefin said:

It's also interesting the about-face this video has done from the previous one of them right after the wedding. In that one, Lauren was giddy and affectionate and Josiah was straight-faced and more somber. Here Josiah seems at ease (which is the closest we've seen him to happy so far) and initiates a kiss while Lauren seems upset and to be barely holding it together and withdraws from Josiah's show of affection. 

I agree they wrote out and tried to memorize a script and Lauren struggled with the words. But this was beyond that. I think the bloom is quite possibly off the rose for her. And they're not even back from the honeymoon yet. 

Yeah, I got the same read.

I think he probably was happy/relieved with how the wedding night went and meanwhile she hated it. Now he's in love and she's pissed off. Poor thing. All I can hope is that Josiah is compassionate toward her, because she's in a tough spot and basically at his mercy.

Such a painfully awkward and unhappy video. That heavy sigh that Lauren gives in the middle of her sentence at one point...wow.

[Zella]

I didn't think anything could be more awkward than that wedding video. And then they proved me wrong. I do agree that he looks a little perkier than he did, but she seems absolutely miserable. :( 

[latetotheparty]

You all see crying, I see desperation in Lauren. It makes me wonder if there was something she needed to get away from. And maybe that’s why she measures her words. 

[madpsych78]

I agree with all your posts. That was not a happy countenance. I mean, Anna was shy in front of the cameras when she was first engaged to Josh, but she eventually warmed up. I would take Kendra's giggling any day over Lauren's breathy sighing, because at least Kendra seems happy and joyful.  

As for Josiah, he did seem a little happier in the second video, or at least more relaxed, and perhaps it was because he got past "losing his virginity" jitters. Maybe he was so tense in the wedding video because he was worried about sex later that night. Of course, Lauren's facades in both videos may be explained by sex as well.

[BitterApple]

38 minutes ago, rue721 said:

 

Such a painfully awkward and unhappy video. That heavy sigh that Lauren gives in the middle of her sentence at one point...wow.

That got me as well. This is a cell phone video taken in the privacy of their car. It's not like Lauren was giving a speech in front of a thousand people or on live TV or any other situation where it would be natural to panic and freeze up. Lauren also pulled back when Si leaned in to kiss her. She seems downright traumitized. I don't think Si is cruel or abusive in any way, I just think every fantasy and expectation Lauren had about marital bliss was shot to shit in less than 48 hours.

[Loves2Dance]

If that is the best video they got, I want to see the blooper reel...holy heck in a hand basket. I don't know if it's just that Lauren doesn't have enough practice in front of a camera or she was traumatized, but that is not the video I would have uploaded. If anything, Josiah---who is a natural in front of the camera, should have done 95% of the talking with a 'thank you everyone' from Lauren. 

[LexieLily]

38 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

That got me as well. This is a cell phone video taken in the privacy of their car. It's not like Lauren was giving a speech in front of a thousand people or on live TV or any other situation where it would be natural to panic and freeze up. Lauren also pulled back when Si leaned in to kiss her. She seems downright traumitized. I don't think Si is cruel or abusive in any way, I just think every fantasy and expectation Lauren had about marital bliss was shot to shit in less than 48 hours.

I feel bad about thinking this but you all seem like good people that won't judge me because we are too busy judging them: for a brief second I wondered why Lauren would be traumatized - because she and Josiah did have a "proper" wedding night (you know what I mean!) or because they didn't.

[Loves2Dance]

6 minutes ago, LexieLily said:

I feel bad about thinking this but you all seem like good people that won't judge me because we are too busy judging them: for a brief second I wondered why Lauren would be traumatized - because she and Josiah did have a "proper" wedding night (you know what I mean!) or because they didn't.

Josiah was way too giddy not have to done it---my guess is, it didn't match up to what Lauren expected. And being frank, that's not unusual. For most women/girls, their first few times aren't amazing. But poor Lauren is too sheltered to probably know that. And her mom may have been too busy birthing babies to give her the proper 'what to expect' talk. 

[heckkitty]

Is that her real voice?  ????

[kokapetl]

6 hours ago, graefin said:

So a video was just posted thanking everyone post-wedding:

Why does Lauren look and sound like she is on the verge of bawling her eyes out?! Surely this is not normal for her? If it is, no wonder Josiah has looked as depressed as he has.

 

“Hi everyone, we are so excited, *[unintelligible, southern fried, Marilyn Monroe breathy whisper talking ]*.“

Do you think she compulsively pumps a mascara bottle 90% of the time?

Edited July 10, 2018 by kokapetl

[Lisa418722]

Neither one of them look all "honeymoon lovey-dovey" like most of the other Dugar kids have on their honeymoons.  I agree with everyone that thinks Lauren looks like she's been crying or trying not to break down.  

Edited July 10, 2018 by Lisa418722

[Madtown]

Holy hell, that was painful. Lauren's whispery voice, hope she doesn't speak like that a lot of the time..YIKES! She does seem like she either just finished crying or is about to. Maybe Si told her on the wedding night that they weren't having babies right that second. That kiss was just.....like they are pretending to like each other.

[GeeGolly]

I couldn't understand Lauren, but to me they looked like they were doing an obligatory video and trying to come off as mature and worldly married adults. I think Si underestimated how physically close they were and went in a little too hard for the kiss. Or maybe Lauren was worried he'd show off his French kissing skills on camera and she wasn't having it.

I didn't see sadness or elation, I saw two adults awkwardly making a video.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I couldn't understand Lauren, but to me they looked like they were doing an obligatory video and trying to come off as mature and worldly married adults. I think Si underestimated how physically close they were and went in a little too hard for the kiss. Or maybe Lauren was worried he'd show off his French kissing skills on camera and she wasn't having it.

I didn't see sadness or elation, I saw two adults awkwardly making a video.

I am in this camp, too. 

[whydoiwatch]

9 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

So sad!  JoKen and JinJer make these two look like they were forced to marry, or they were told they would be damned to hell for all eternity.

If they managed to "hey hey hey" she's probably pregnant already.  Whatever, they're stuck in what seems to be a mismatch, to say the least.

I must not be fully awake or else my mind is totally in the gutter - I read the bolded words above as "If they managed to hey hey hey...whatever they stuck in..."

Don't know whether to head to the prayer closet or back to bed, oh my.

[ginger90]

Man and wife, instead of husband and wife. Could be just me, it’s one of my pet peeves.

[BetyBee]

What the heck is Lauren wearing?  A bathrobe?  Did they pop out of the motel for a minute to make a video, so she just buttoned her bathrobe up to her neck?  Josiah definitely looks more happy and relaxed after losing his virginity.  Poor Lauren looks terrified.  I don't think she thought about what happens after the wedding day and she does not seem pleased.  I hope it gets better for her.  

[zenme]

The way these people are raised, she's probably terribly embarrassed. I recall, I bled my first time. Like, a lot. No one told me. It made for an extremely uncomfortable first time, and not like the romantic love scene I'd imagined. I grew up in the real world and was devastated, so someone like Lauren  must've downright been mortified.

[graefin]

9 hours ago, rue721 said:

Such a painfully awkward and unhappy video. That heavy sigh that Lauren gives in the middle of her sentence at one point...wow.

That sigh is too much, although it could be ascribed (in part at least) to her trying to get out her scripted words as quickly and fluidly as possible and needing to literally take a breath. But combined with the overall tenor of the video? Yeah, not looking good.

[Jynnan tonnix]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I couldn't understand Lauren, but to me they looked like they were doing an obligatory video and trying to come off as mature and worldly married adults. I think Si underestimated how physically close they were and went in a little too hard for the kiss. Or maybe Lauren was worried he'd show off his French kissing skills on camera and she wasn't having it.

I didn't see sadness or elation, I saw two adults awkwardly making a video.

I was somewhat of this mind as well in watching that...I remember the first couple of times I was French kissed, it was horrible. I mean, I was at least somewhat attracted to the guys in question else I wouldn't have gone out with them, but all I wanted to do afterwards was to brush my teeth and swig about a gallon of mouthwash. And, as a bit of a late bloomer, I was a few years older than Lauren at the time.

I can just imagine if she had that same reaction to a kiss (and who knows but that Si has inherited JB's propensity toward halitosis), then realized that she not only had no option for backing out, but felt obligated to be joyfully available for hey, hey, hey immediately afterward. She might very well feel traumatized.

Edited July 10, 2018 by Jynnan tonnix

[Fuzzysox]

2 hours ago, Madtown said:

Holy hell, that was painful. Lauren's whispery voice, hope she doesn't speak like that a lot of the time..YIKES! She does seem like she either just finished crying or is about to. Maybe Si told her on the wedding night that they weren't having babies right that second. That kiss was just.....like they are pretending to like each other.

Considering that Lauren has never been away from her family for long periods of time, she just might be overwhelmed by the wedding, having sex and missing her family. She's only 18-19 still a baby if you consider how sheltered she is.

[crazycatlady58]

1 minute ago, Fuzzysox said:

Considering that Lauren has never been away from her family for long periods of time, she just might be overwhelmed by the wedding, having sex and missing her family. She's only 18-19 still a baby if you consider how sheltered she is.

And the fact she is understanding this is her forever. That does not mean it is a bad forever just different than what she has known.

[lookeyloo]

I hope it is just a getting used to for her, and not misery.  I got married at 21 to who I thought was the love of my life, but, we moved an hour away from where I lived with my parents and two brothers and even though I was deliriously happy to be married to him, I had a case of homesickness and missed the goings on at home.   I will hope that is her case, and not that she is always crying or just finished crying, etc.

[DkNNy79]

1 hour ago, Fuzzysox said:

Considering that Lauren has never been away from her family for long periods of time, she just might be overwhelmed by the wedding, having sex and missing her family. She's only 18-19 still a baby if you consider how sheltered she is.

And yet, they think she's old enough to get married and start having babies.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

On 7/9/2018 at 2:11 PM, GeeGolly said:

Like I said, I don't think the problem is that Josiah doesn't know Lauren, the problem is Josiah doesn't know himself.

But what is there to know really? Once all the personality is beaten out/ driven from a person, and they’re reprogrammed into mediocre, mundane bots, I think they’re not only compatible, but interchangeable.  Not fundie by any means, if they’re all towing the party line, then technically Joe and Lauren, Josiah and Marjorie, Lauren and Austin, JD and Tori Bates, or Erin Bates and Jeremy could work as a couple.  So could Lauren and Josh ( cuz barnacle wives are interchangeable).  JD and Kendra could probably work too because she seems able to think forherself and vouce her opinions.  Not sure about Joy because she seemed to young emotionally and mentally to get married, but any outdoorsy type with a strong sex drive would suit her just fine. Maybe Joy and Ben?  For the rebels who had wavering faith, or weren’t raised die-hard Gothardite,  Jessa and Jeremy or Marjorie and Ben could probably make it as couples.  It’s creepy when you think about it.

Poor Jana just needs an older guy.  Like 35-40 range widow with two young kids who could thrive under her home management and domestic skills. 

I’m not sure about Jill because I don’t know enough about the Bates sons, but there’s probably a match in there somewhere. She could probably work well with Timothy Rodrigues if he were older.  She’d fit in real good with that pack of wackos.  Derick isn’t compatible with anyone though cuz he’s a buttwipe! Anna kind of deserves him though for harassing women at abortion clinics and whatnot.  

Edited July 11, 2018 by Ijustwantsomechips
Damn autocorrect

[Natalie68]

15 hours ago, graefin said:

So a video was just posted thanking everyone post-wedding:

Why does Lauren look and sound like she is on the verge of bawling her eyes out?! Surely this is not normal for her? If it is, no wonder Josiah has looked as depressed as he has.

I would hate to think I am seeing things that aren't there but man, she doesn't seem happy, she looks resigned.  There were several sighs and I don't know, you would think there would be a bit more exuberance.  He looks like he is trying to look like he is into her and she is thinking jeez, I have 60+ long years ahead of me.  That was the least amount of excitement  I have ever seen from newlyweds.  

14 hours ago, asuwur said:

I don't know. I'd probably be crushed and in tears if every web page I looked at about the famous (*cough*) family I married into was covered in posts that my new husband clearly doesn't love me and has no desire to schtup me. She's a kid and those kinds of words would cut like a knife. YMMV

True but she could you know actually not look

[graefin]

12 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

Josiah was way too giddy not have to done it---my guess is, it didn't match up to what Lauren expected. And being frank, that's not unusual. For most women/girls, their first few times aren't amazing. But poor Lauren is too sheltered to probably know that. And her mom may have been too busy birthing babies to give her the proper 'what to expect' talk. 

This might be true, but her level of misery seems (to me, at least) to be on a whole different scale? Presumably the other girls had similar first nights, yet their honeymoon videos look nothing like this.

Even if the first few times are uncomfortable or even painful, a lot can make up for it--just the physical closeness to someone you love, who is kind and gentle to you, etc. They are on their honeymoon in what we would assume is a lovely locale and ostensibly love each other. You'd think if they were truly in love, she would at least still be happy to be married?

They are on such two totally different emotional pages in the video that it almost seems like there must be no communication between them behind the scenes. 

[jcbrown]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Man and wife, instead of husband and wife. Could be just me, it’s one of my pet peeves.

Not just you. Though the reasons I hate "man and wife"  (patriarchal and implying the woman exists primarily in relation to the man) are the reasons the Duggars and their ilk would choose to use the phrase. If they thought about it, which I'm sure they don't.

[laurakaye]

4 hours ago, DkNNy79 said:

And yet, they think she's old enough to get married and start having babies.

This just infuriates me.  The "magic" number is 18 - ready or not, off you go, girl!  Time to get super-intimate with a person that up until now, you weren't even allowed to kiss!  And now you're almost 19 - baby time!  20 - baby time!  21 - no, silly, you don't get to get a drink at the bar with your girlfriends, it's BABY TIME!  

While part of me understands that this is the only life they know, the other 99% of me feels that this is so incredibly abusive and neglectful - to ship your newly-adult daughter, who doesn't even know herself, off to schlepp the offspring of whomever came a' courtin'.  It's just so incredibly sad.

And even though I can't hear the video at work, I agree that Lauren has the look of someone who is trying very hard not to cry.

[DkNNy79]

2 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

This just infuriates me.  The "magic" number is 18 - ready or not, off you go, girl!  Time to get super-intimate with a person that up until now, you weren't even allowed to kiss!  And now you're almost 19 - baby time!  20 - baby time!  21 - no, silly, you don't get to get a drink at the bar with your girlfriends, it's BABY TIME!  

While part of me understands that this is the only life they know, the other 99% of me feels that this is so incredibly abusive and neglectful - to ship your newly-adult daughter, who doesn't even know herself, off to schlepp the offspring of whomever came a' courtin'.  It's just so incredibly sad.

And even though I can't hear the video at work, I agree that Lauren has the look of someone who is trying very hard not to cry.

Especially when this is a decision that in their world is for the rest of their lives.

Whereas in our (i.e. non-fundy) world for most of us, at 18 we are getting ready to go to college and we've probably put more thought/research into selecting our college than they do in their spouses.  Yet, we always have the option of transferring if the college is not a right fit for us.

[zoomama]

guys, i have watched this video over and over and i truly dont see where she pulled back or avoided him at all. her smile seemed real and his too. wish we could have actually herd the whole video.

[Sew Sumi]

She pulled back rather than come up to meet his kiss. It didn't seem mutual, despite being a scripted ordeal. And yes, this was an ordeal even if this was their only take.

[zenme]

14 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

She pulled back rather than come up to meet his kiss. It didn't seem mutual, despite being a scripted ordeal. And yes, this was an ordeal even if this was their only take.

Maybe she's not fond of PDA. I know I'm not, on me or anyone else.

[Sew Sumi]

She seemed pretty fond of it before this video. As in barnacle fond.

Edited July 11, 2018 by Sew Sumi
Autocorrect strikes again

[Christina87]

I really think Josiah seemed relieved in this video...not really happy, per day, but relieved. I see the honeymoon going something like this. Night one, Josiah is soooo nervous he won't be able to follow through, but does successfully because anyone, gay or straight, who has been sexually repressed to this extent could probably perform. Of course, it's not good for lauren, because the first time never is for a female. Josiah decides he doesn't want to push his luck, and rationalizes he's done his "duty" for the honeymoon. He also doesn't want to set a precedent where she will expect it every night, so he abstains the rest of the trip. Lauren, not being confident enough to initiate, hints around it, but at bedtime, Josiah does the "I'm sooooo tired from all this fun today!" routine and falls into bed. Now lauren feels like she is not getting what she expected, feels gross, thinks she is unattractive, or that her husband was grossed out by the blood, and wishes she had never lost her virginity. 

[zenme]

1 minute ago, Christina87 said:

I really think Josiah seemed relieved in this video...not really happy, per day, but relieved. I see the honeymoon going something like this. Night one, Josiah is soooo nervous he won't be able to follow through, but does successfully because anyone, gay or straight, who has been sexually repressed to this extent could probably perform. Of course, it's not good for lauren, because the first time never is for a female. Josiah decides he doesn't want to push his luck, and rationalizes he's done his "duty" for the honeymoon. He also doesn't want to set a precedent where she will expect it every night, so he abstains the rest of the trip. Lauren, not being confident enough to initiate, hints around it, but at bedtime, Josiah does the "I'm sooooo tired from all this fun today!" routine and falls into bed. Now lauren feels like she is not getting what she expected, feels gross, thinks she is unattractive, or that her husband was grossed out by the blood, and wishes she had never lost her virginity. 

In Lauren's case she probably never thought there was another hole that Josiah could use. She probably thought it was an exit only.

[Sew Sumi]

And can we omit the blood? Not every virgin bleeds. 

[lascuba]

21 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

If that is the best video they got, I want to see the blooper reel...holy heck in a hand basket. I don't know if it's just that Lauren doesn't have enough practice in front of a camera or she was traumatized, but that is not the video I would have uploaded. If anything, Josiah---who is a natural in front of the camera, should have done 95% of the talking with a 'thank you everyone' from Lauren. 

THIS! Why would they post that video? They have to know how bad it looks.

[madpsych78]

Josiah really reminded me of Josh in this video. He even has a similar voice. 

Can you imagine how the video would have played out had it been Marjorie instead of Lauren? You know Marjorie would have owned it and been the star of the video.

[Christina87]

7 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Josiah really reminded me of Josh in this video. He even has a similar voice. 

Can you imagine how the video would have played out had it been Marjorie instead of Lauren? You know Marjorie would have owned it and been the star of the video.

I was thinking he sounded like Josh too, especially with his (to me, disingenuous) "marriage is a blessing from the lord." Sounded like something Josh would have said while pursuing his porn Star affairs in the background. 

Y'all, I finally figured out whose voice Lauren's reminds me of! This chick, the one who was the friend in the princess diaries! She doesn't always whisper but they sound the same!

[McManda]

34 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

And can we omit the blood? Not every virgin bleeds. 

+1. Maybe TMI, (but that's okay online, right?) but I didn't. Which is both good and bad, I suppose, because on one hand a lot of what was running through my head in the moment was "oh no, what if there's a lot of blood and it looks like a murder scene and then it gets weird and bad?". Not really the monologue you want your first time. But then on the other when there was no blood my brain decided to think "... so like, did that happen? did we actually do it? did I miss something?". (Yes, we did and no, I didn't.)

I think it's ultimately more an issue of whatever Lauren expected from marriage and a husband and sex didn't match up with what she got and she's confused. It would be a lot for anyone to process, nevertheless a 19 year old sheltered girl with no idea how anything really should work.

[awaken]

I really hope she was just exhausted from jet lag, travel, and so much anticipation the past several weeks . She looks so fragile emotionally, and strangely puffier than just a couple days before at the wedding.  I wonder if they traveled far?  It must feel so strange to be alone together. I would have a hard time knowing how to suddenly interact intimately with someone, 24/7, after limited, chaperoned contact.  

[Christina87]

Plus throw in that you have never been alone with a non related male, period! I remember how awkward I was talking to boys in high school, and I had been around them all my life! I basically started by talking to my gay male theatre friends, because they were "safer," and then branched out from there. Can you imagine being a super sheltered 18-year-old who didn't even attend school, and spending a week with a guy you don't even know that well? Poor girl is probably terrified and torn over how she should act. Reminds me of how I imagine arranged marriages in the olden times to be!

[Temperance]

There were rumors her family had moved/was staying in Arkansas. Idk if that's true. It's possible they were in Georgia and she called her family daily. Maybe the honeymoon is the longest she's gone without speaking to her family. Historically a lot of young women found weddings stressful, because it was the first time they really left home. 

[kokapetl]

5 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I was thinking he sounded like Josh too, especially with his (to me, disingenuous) "marriage is a blessing from the lord." Sounded like something Josh would have said while pursuing his porn Star affairs in the background. 

Y'all, I finally figured out whose voice Lauren's reminds me of! This chick, the one who was the friend in the princess diaries! She doesn't always whisper but they sound the same!

She’s Dawn Wiener, from Welcome to the Dollhouse. 

[Snow Fairy]

7 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

She pulled back rather than come up to meet his kiss. It didn't seem mutual, despite being a scripted ordeal. And yes, this was an ordeal even if this was their only take.

She has no experience in kissing, hasn't been kissed...and now she "has" to do it with her new husband, and tape it? I think that's too much for her

[Madtown]

On 7/10/2018 at 9:25 AM, DkNNy79 said:

And yet, they think she's old enough to get married and start having babies.

My point exactly. It just boggles my mind that this is their life. Hopefully she won't be pregnant in a month, but I don't have high hopes for that, this is the life they know. I wish I could put all these girls in a circle and tell them all the things they could be experiencing in life, besides pushing out babies.

[Fuzzysox]

12 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Can you imagine how the video would have played out had it been Marjorie instead of Lauren? You know Marjorie would have owned it and been the star of the video.

Everytime we mention Majorie I think of this song:

 

No matter how much Josiah tells us he is happy we will always compare Lauren to Majorie.

[Nysha]

3 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

No matter how much Josiah tells us he is happy we will always compare Lauren to Majorie.

I wonder if he will, too, or if we're reading more into that relationship because we think Marjorie has a more vivacious personality?