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Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp


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10 hours ago, jcbrown said:

The point of that is...? I mean, I first dated my spouse in 1982 and the dating before we got married started in 1993. Sooooo... more than five years?

I think its just a "flashback" type photo. The first is when they started "seeing each other" and the second is a recent one. I wonder was the first also taken at the holidays, so their first holiday season together?

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So much to unpack in Joy's short little IG story. Everything was so awkward and hardly made sense. The worst, besides Giddy searching under a couch for "last night's popcorn" was Joy saying she was "excited to stay off SM" for a month and was already planning activities with the kids, seemingly in place of SM time. And then there was the exciting ride to each lunch with Austin at the job site. Except Austin was eating with his coworkers and the kids sat with Joy, away from them, on a cold concrete floor. 

Oh and the biggest shocker. Joy and Austin are staying home tonight, "together", to celebrate the new year.

 

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42 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Joy said she is going off social media for a month. 

A whole month? 😆 

10 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

And then there was the exciting ride to each lunch with Austin at the job site. Except Austin was eating with his coworkers and the kids sat with Joy, away from them, on a cold concrete floor.

Damn, even her mom Jill got to eat lunch with Derick at Walmart every day.

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4 hours ago, Madtown said:

I can't imagine showing up at my husband's work all the time and with kids. We don't have kids and when I had to go to his work, I always felt in the way, even for the minute I was in there.

I totally agree when I was married I hated to have to go to his work or meet him after basketball with his coworkers at the bar.  His work was separate and I liked it that way. 

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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

It seems odd to me that decisions are made in extremes. Too much TV? Put the TV in a closet. Too much SM? Quit for a month.

Have they heard of moderation? Joy and Austin have plenty to do to fill their time, why do they need to resort to such extremes?

I see your point, especially about putting the TV in a closet. But IMO the real extremes would be more like getting rid of all TVs in the house (or covering the TV with a map like the infamous JillR) and deleting your SM accounts. Taking a break for a specific time like a month doesn't strike me as extreme. 

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18 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I see your point, especially about putting the TV in a closet. But IMO the real extremes would be more like getting rid of all TVs in the house (or covering the TV with a map like the infamous JillR) and deleting your SM accounts. Taking a break for a specific time like a month doesn't strike me as extreme. 

For sure extreme is certainly subjective, but why not just reduce the time spent watching TV and posting/reading SM?

Like no kissing until the wedding day. They're taught that everything is a slippery slope. Kissing leads to sex, one hour of TV leads to too much TV and a peek here and there on SM leads to checking your phone every minute.

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I always take the "I'm going off social media for XX amount of time" as a cry for attention.  Usually people that do that are only looking for people to beg them not to do it, which gives them validation and attention.   Joy may be wondering how long her "fame" is going to last and testing the waters to se if people beg her to keep posting or could care less.  Or maybe not, shug, who knows.

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12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For sure extreme is certainly subjective, but why not just reduce the time spent watching TV and posting/reading SM?

Like no kissing until the wedding day. They're taught that everything is a slippery slope. Kissing leads to sex, one hour of TV leads to too much TV and a peek here and there on SM leads to checking your phone every minute.

That's an interesting comparison, but I think throwing out the TV and closing SM accounts are much more like "no kissing before the wedding" than just taking a break. Plenty of mainstream mental health professionals have publicly discussed the benefits of a break from social media which is why it doesn't strike me as an all-in fundie thing at all. Not that I think Joy would have consulted a mental health professional, lol. But she probably saw the concept somewhere and liked it.

As @BigBingerBro said, Joy's announcement might be more attention grab than sincere attempt to manage her social media life. 

Whatever her reasoning, I expect that Joy isn't overthinking her SM break. And, I am.  🤣

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It might just be the people I'm following on Twitter, but I see plenty of people announcing that they're taking a break from social media for a couple of weeks to a couple of months for various reasons. Bigbingerbro is correct that this is often just a cry for attention, but I've also seen people announce that they'll be taking breaks in order to focus on some creative project or care for a relative or deal with chemo or whatever. So this seems normal to me.

In Joy's specific case, my impression is that she doesn't really enjoy being on social media all that much. A break might allow her to figure out if the money she gets from occasionally shilling stuff is worth the aggravation. 

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1 hour ago, quarks said:

It might just be the people I'm following on Twitter, but I see plenty of people announcing that they're taking a break from social media for a couple of weeks to a couple of months for various reasons. Bigbingerbro is correct that this is often just a cry for attention, but I've also seen people announce that they'll be taking breaks in order to focus on some creative project or care for a relative or deal with chemo or whatever. So this seems normal to me.

In Joy's specific case, my impression is that she doesn't really enjoy being on social media all that much. A break might allow her to figure out if the money she gets from occasionally shilling stuff is worth the aggravation. 

This is what I don't get. How much time are they spending on SM that they can't do both?

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2 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

I always take the "I'm going off social media for XX amount of time" as a cry for attention.  Usually people that do that are only looking for people to beg them not to do it, which gives them validation and attention.   Joy may be wondering how long her "fame" is going to last and testing the waters to se if people beg her to keep posting or could care less.  Or maybe not, shug, who knows.

EXACTLY. I’ve been off FB for 3 months for personal reasons, but guess what I didn’t do? Announce it on FB that I was going to take a break. I just did it quietly.

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15 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

This is what I don't get. How much time are they spending on SM that they can't do both?

I get it, because I have experienced times when I just could. not. leave. my phone. alone. (Or, if I was on a computer, Facebook.) Even for a few minutes. I was constantly checking, to see if I had reactions to my posts or comments, or who had posted something in the five minutes since last I looked. There are lots of articles about that kind of technology addiction. I'm not sure how much time in total I spent on social media/the internet during that time, but it was a constant distraction. 

I took some steps that made sense to me. I disabled almost all the notifications on my phone and deleted a couple of apps from it. I consciously refused to go onto Facebook for days at a time on my non-phone devices. I'm back on FB now and watching out for the urge to check in all day long, because it happens. I scrubbed my Twitter account of all tweets and likes and will do it again pretty soon to keep a clean slate. I also scrubbed almost everything off my FB page except relatively recent posts and photos and intend to do that on the regular going forward.

And no I didn't make a big announcement about backing off from SM. But then, I don't have 1.1 million followers on IG like Joy does. If she just went silent, I'm sure the trolls and other nasties would come out in force with all kinds of speculation. 

Edited by Jeeves
Because I forgot this wasn't the small talk topic.
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Just now, Jeeves said:

I get it, because I have experienced times when I just could. not. leave. my phone. alone. (Or, if I was on a computer, Facebook.) Even for a few minutes. I was constantly checking, to see if I had reactions to my posts or comments, or who had posted something in the five minutes since last I looked. There are lots of articles about that kind of technology addiction. I'm not sure how much time in total I spent on social media/the internet during that time, but it was a constant distraction. 

I took some steps that made sense to me. I disabled almost all the notifications on my phone and deleted a couple of apps from it. I consciously refused to go onto Facebook for days at a time on my non-phone devices. I'm back on FB now and watching out for the urge to check in all day long, because it happens. I scrubbed my Twitter account of all tweets and likes and will do it again pretty soon to keep a clean slate. I also scrubbed almost everything off my FB page except relatively recent posts and photos and intend to do that on the regular going forward.

And no I didn't make a big announcement about backing off from SM. But then, I don't have 1.1 million followers on IG like Joy does. If she just went silent, I'm sure the trolls and other nasties would come out in force with all kinds of speculation. And, in the immortal words of Sweet Brown, Ain't Nobody Got Time for That. An oldie but a goodie.

 

Most of Joy’s followers are quite literally complete strangers. Her actual friends and family wouldn’t be wondering about her. 

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1 minute ago, Cinnabon said:

Most of Joy’s followers are quite literally complete strangers. Her actual friends and family wouldn’t be wondering about her. 

Of course they are. Who knows a million people personally? But why not make a simple sensible statement to head off speculation? Her life and times are constantly under discussion on the internet - including this forum - and although she hasn't been on TV for awhile and may not be again, she's still a public figure. 

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21 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Of course they are. Who knows a million people personally? But why not make a simple sensible statement to head off speculation? Her life and times are constantly under discussion on the internet - including this forum - and although she hasn't been on TV for awhile and may not be again, she's still a public figure. 

After a few weeks of not being on SM, most people will realize that she is ok and just living her life (because news gets around despite her absence on SM). I find that most who make announcements about leaving SM are looking for attention and most return quickly. I do have one friend who takes every other month off SM and it works for him. But YMMV.

ETA - look at Josiah and Lauren. They’ve been off SM for a long time now, and speculation has mostly died down. I think most assume they are fine and simply living more private lives. In Joy’s case, she is borderline illiterate and I wish she would spend her time off SM educating herself, because otherwise her “homeschooling “ will be useless. But I know she won’t. 😢

Edited by Cinnabon
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8 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

I got the feeling from her insta story that it has something with josh and the whole family situation

This was my impression too. I don't think Joy is a terribly complex person and she also strikes me as the most apathetic of all the sisters about social media. And she's had a lot of strangers speculating about her mental state in the past few weeks due to the trial. I don't really think it's any more complicated than she has decided to take a break from social media and felt compelled to announce it to avoid having even more speculation about her mental state. "Did she have a nervous breakdown?" "Is she mad at her parents?" "Is she breaking away?" 

If it were one of the other sisters, I'd be more likely to think it was an announcement for attention. Though my litmus test of seeking attention on social media is less announcing departures and more not being able to actually leave after announcing a departure. (See one Chrissy Teigen.)

I'm not really sure how to say this without seeming like an asshole, but Joy just doesn't seem very smart or cunning to me. I think she's on social media because she was raised to be on social media and isn't enough of a freethinker to realize that she doesn't have to be on social media. So, this is like her equivalent of one of those auto-generated "Out of the office on vacation" emails. LOL 

Edited to add: I also get strong potential New Year's resolution vibes from this. 

Edited by Zella
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18 minutes ago, Zella said:

This was my impression too. I don't think Joy is a terribly complex person and she also strikes me as the most apathetic of all the sisters about social media. And she's had a lot of strangers speculating about her mental state in the past few weeks due to the trial. I don't really think it's any more complicated than she has decided to take a break from social media and felt compelled to announce it to avoid having even more speculation about her mental state. "Did she have a nervous breakdown?" "Is she mad at her parents?" "Is she breaking away?" 

If it were one of the other sisters, I'd be more likely to think it was an announcement for attention. Though my litmus test of seeking attention on social media is less announcing departures and more not being able to actually leave after announcing a departure. (See one Chrissy Teigen.)

I'm not really sure how to say this without seeming like an asshole, but Joy just doesn't seem very smart or cunning to me. I think she's on social media because she was raised to be on social media and isn't enough of a freethinker to realize that she doesn't have to be on social media. So, this is like her equivalent of one of those auto-generated "Out of the office on vacation" emails. LOL 

Edited to add: I also get strong potential New Year's resolution vibes from this. 

Why does speculation even matter? I wonder what their pastor would say. 🤷‍♀️

9 minutes ago, Zella said:

I've had people speculate about my mental health behind my back and to my face. It's not a particularly fun experience to be subjected to. 

I know that feeling. When I’m off SM I still do respond to private messages if anyone cares enough to inquire. But I still can’t imagine caring about what complete strangers think. Lauren and Josiah seem to have made it over that hump.

Edited by Cinnabon
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16 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

But I still can’t imagine caring about what complete strangers think. Lauren and Josiah seem to have made it over that hump.

I'd actually argue the inverse. I think they left social media precisely because they did care what strangers thought because she was being torn apart on it. That doesn't mean it was not a good idea--I think it is a healthier, smarter decision than how the rest of the family uses social media--but I think it's improbable that their absence and the great purge of all their pictures wasn't driven by concern about public perception and backlash. 

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18 minutes ago, Zella said:

I'd actually argue the inverse. I think they left social media precisely because they did care what strangers thought because she was being torn apart on it. That doesn't mean it was not a good idea--I think it is a healthier, smarter decision than how the rest of the family uses social media--but I think it's improbable that their absence and the great purge of all their pictures wasn't driven by concern about public perception and backlash. 

Maybe. I can 100% relate to being torn apart by SM and the news, but that’s because of the disturbing state of the world, lol. It is healthier for many to keep that stuff out of their day to day realities. Whatever the reason in their case, I think it was a great decision.

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I agree that Lauren left SM because she found the negative comments to be too hurtful. But what that tells me is she must have also taken the positive comments to heart.

I think for a celeb to maintain a SM presence they need to take likes and 'hates' with a grain of salt, or just not read them.

They really need to ask themselves why they're posting in the first place.

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7 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree that Lauren left SM because she found the negative comments to be too hurtful. But what that tells me is she must have also taken the positive comments to heart.

I think for a celeb to maintain a SM presence they need to take likes and 'hates' with a grain of salt, or just not read them.

They really need to ask themselves why they're posting in the first place.

And ask themselves whether they’re actually “celebs,” lol. No one but leghumpers are going to remember Joy and Lauren in another few years. Others will remember the Duggar name because of Josh’s offenses.

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1 minute ago, Cinnabon said:

And ask themselves whether they’re actually “celebs,” lol. No one but leghumpers are going to remember Joy and Lauren in another few years. Others will remember the Duggar name because of Josh’s offenses.

Humpers and haters too.

But, yes, they'll soon go the way of Kate and John. There will come a day when a birth or wedding won't even be mentioned in a tabloid.

Joy will survive this. Jeremy, Jessa and Jill and Derick will have a tougher time.

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13 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

 

I think for a celeb to maintain a SM presence they need to take likes and 'hates' with a grain of salt, or just not read them.

They really need to ask themselves why they're posting in the first place.

I think this really gets at the heart of what I find so problematic about influencers and people like the Duggars. They're treating their social media accounts as interchangeable personal and business accounts and that is never going to work for either purpose. 

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16 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

Really makes you wonder how much JB and M lied to her when you hear her talk about how she looked to Josh as a “role model” growing up 😣.  
 

I think JB and M did most things by formulas.

And Joshley was the "first-born son" and therefore "the leader of their home" when it came to the other kids. Their cult, especially, but also their churches "taught" them that, in those words, frequently. So that's what they taught the kids. 

They were probably also dim and misguided enough -- and had their egos tied up enough in the certainty that the son born to be leader of their home would be great -to read his lifelong smarminess, phoniness and shiny hard-edged arrogance as talent, charisma and leadership potential instead of worrying signs that he might be naturally narcissistic, duplicitous, self-absorbed and maybe somewhat brutal. And wonder if they should try to address those things somehow and at least move away from declaring him the little emperor. 

 I'm sure he was constantly held up as a role model. Several people have noted that he was portrayed as a role model in the small churches they were in with the Duggs, too. 

In my dream world, this kind of thing makes me hope that some of the Duggarlings will someday start questioning these platitudes they were fed and move on to better thinking. 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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6 minutes ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

I doubt Joy or any of the Duggars can stay off of social media for a month. Except Anna. 

I don’t think they can either. Remember Joy is the one who posted a fucking ad on the first day of the trial. Can’t let a pesky trial get in the way of shilling useless goods.

Edited by Cinnabon
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On 12/29/2021 at 12:27 PM, Ljohnson1987 said:

Lauren will never use the degree she earned. Anna has a college degree as well. College degrees in the cult are useless. 

Anna doesn't have a college degree. She took some ATI certification course in education. 

6 hours ago, Zella said:

I think this really gets at the heart of what I find so problematic about influencers and people like the Duggars. They're treating their social media accounts as interchangeable personal and business accounts and that is never going to work for either purpose. 

The problem is that their business IS their personal life, or what they claim to be their personal lives. That can't be at all emotionally healthy, but that's the cost of making your private life part of your financial plan. 

5 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

Really makes you wonder how much JB and M lied to her when you hear her talk about how she looked to Josh as a “role model” growing up 😣.  
 

 

I don't even think it requires lying, though we all know how much JB and Michelle lie. These people are so into the narrative that absolutely anything is redeemed if you believe in Jesus that committing horrific acts and then seem to demonstrate repentance and parrot the right Bible passages is enough to make that person a role model to them. It's why those born into this belief system all have those ridiculous "inspirational" stories about Jesus saving them form their awful sins at 7 years old--they are constantly bombarded with stories of people who committed horrible sins but were saved and are now followers of fundie Jesus, that they want to share a similar story. 

Josh did something horrible, he was punished and he "repented", and became a model son in their eyes. I think that really was enough for Joy and JD (who said he wanted to be like Josh up until AM) and the rest of them to truly see him as a role model. He did what sinners are supposed to do, provide a great example of redemption.

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