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S05.E18: Catherine & Graham


Tara Ariano

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I know she said earlier in the show that she has anxieties and other issues, but this is another one of those episodes where the person being catfished is way too attractive to be fooling around with a catfish.  And I say this as someone with social anxiety.  I know the situation sucks, but you're better than this girl.

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I've never seen a Catfishee stand with their back to the Catfisher the whole time before - that was a new one . 

( I'm from the same area as Catherine and I'm always shocked at our regions accent haha I sound like that ??!!! ) 

Edited by DNR
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So...let me get this straight:  A teenage boy did dumb stuff and didn't think about his actions?  Oh, Pearl....to the fainting couch!

I am team Graham on this one -- yes..he was kind of a dumbass....but I don't think he was being cruel -- he just didn't think that 'Someone I never will likely meet certainly won't really consider this a lifelong commitment.'  Katherine, on the other hand....girl was 10 seconds away from heading to Target to get on the wedding registry.  Katherine and the weird hiding, too -- I dunno -- I just think two stupid kids being stupid kids on the Interwebs...but Katherine was just amping that shit up to 11 on the nutty scale.

Methinks Graham was the one who dodged a bullet on this one.

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Hello, I live on Long Island. Did they happen to give the name of the pizza place where Finger-Comby McScalpflake is employed? Because I'd like to never set foot inside of it ever, thanks very much. I'd bet their Parmesan is 60% skin at this point.
(Also I'm really wondering if that's an LI thing or just an insecure girl thing. Whenever I see a gaggle of teen girls out in public they are CONSTANTLY touching their hair.)

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@HootyMcBoob  I think it's girls everywhere , I recall Sammie from jersey shore was always fooling around with her hair ( she had extensions too).

great recap @Tara Ariano the gifs of Catherine grooming ( Catherine check!!) thru out the review gave me lulz

its pretty gross if this girl has this tic and is then touching customers food EWWW . I'll be watching out for her in any L.I. pizzeria I visit ?

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What we have here is a teenage boy who didn't have the foresight or social awareness to consider this random girl from Long Island's strikingly deep feelings for him after chatting online for a bit.  He also had the audacity to not mention his online friend to his real life friends.  Because he's a teenage boy and out of sight, out of mind.  

On the other hand, we have a teenage girl who is potentially a Stage 5 clinger and is ready to uproot her entire life because a boy flirted with her online and said "I love you."

I don't think either of them is wrong in this situation, they are just...teenagers.  Max and Nev were wrong for trying to berate the kid.  "You're 18, tell your parents you're going out."  My mom would have knocked me out of a window at that age if she said "don't leave" and I left. 

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4 hours ago, BeatrixK said:

So...let me get this straight:  A teenage boy did dumb stuff and didn't think about his actions?  Oh, Pearl....to the fainting couch!

I am team Graham on this one -- yes..he was kind of a dumbass....but I don't think he was being cruel -- he just didn't think that 'Someone I never will likely meet certainly won't really consider this a lifelong commitment.'  Katherine, on the other hand....girl was 10 seconds away from heading to Target to get on the wedding registry.  Katherine and the weird hiding, too -- I dunno -- I just think two stupid kids being stupid kids on the Interwebs...but Katherine was just amping that shit up to 11 on the nutty scale.

Methinks Graham was the one who dodged a bullet on this one.

I agree, it sounds like he was just talking to a cute girl who lived far away (the modern equivalent of having a pen pal), & she thought she was a mail order bride. This wasn't a catfish situation, this was a situation of someone reading more into a relationship than there was.

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This was a tough one.  I think they both dug holes so deep they couldn't get out of them.

On the one hand- you have Katherine who is so very insecure and thinks she's not pretty enough or skinny enough and latched on to this stranger who was saying all the things she wanted to hear.   

Then, on the other hand you have Graham who is very immature and didn't think about his actions at all.  The excuse of being a teenage boy only goes so far.  I've met plenty of teenage boys who actually are aware of their actions and other people's feelings so he doesn't get a total free pass. 

If Graham just wanted to be the friendly shoulder, why even bring in the word "love"?  But, then again, he said a pretty innocuous statement "that's what I love about you" that doesn't always mean capital L "Love".  Katherine was then shooting hearts out of her eyeballs and probably said "I love you too".  After that, Graham may have felt like he had to keep reciprocating, but he really didn't.  That realization comes with maturity- which neither of them have but that's ok.  It's life and this is a learning experience and they will grow from it.

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Yeah, Graham is immature and didn't think through the consequences of his actions, but there doesn't seem to be any ill intent or craziness about him at all. I think he learned a hard lesson on this one. Catherine needs a support network around her and some therapy. She's been through a lot in life and she's not coping well. This could have been a LOT worse. Imagine if the person she was talking to wasn't just a dumb a$% teenage guy?

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I agree, it sounds like he was just talking to a cute girl who lived far away (the modern equivalent of having a pen pal), & she thought she was a mail order bride. This wasn't a catfish situation, this was a situation of someone reading more into a relationship than there was.

I concur as well. I thought I heard when Nev and Max were reading Catherine's email at the beginning that she said they had not really defined their relationship. Then all of the sudden there was talk of marriage and other relationship-y things. So what he thought was a lighthearted joking with his online pen pal, she thought they were making wedding plans. I also, thought she was reading more into his texts and email from the get go. I forgot what was said, but Nev and Max told her that what he wrote was different than what she took it to mean. So yeah, I think it was an immature guy, and a girl who thought more of their relationship than what he did.

I think Graham thought she was a catfish. She was the one who reached out to him via social media and she said she would take a trip to Nashville but did not. Of course he would not video chat, so they both had some catfish tendencies.

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8 hours ago, GaT said:

I agree, it sounds like he was just talking to a cute girl who lived far away (the modern equivalent of having a pen pal), & she thought she was a mail order bride. This wasn't a catfish situation, this was a situation of someone reading more into a relationship than there was.

When one of them asked who said "I love you" first, Catherine said he did, but it was something like "I love who you are." That is not the same thing as "I love you." When he said he loved her but he wasn't in love with her, I was like, yep, that sounds right.

Catherine needs a better support system and to improve her self-esteem. I wondered if she had any close friends. She talked about partying but that's not necessarily the same thing as having close friends.

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5 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

When one of them asked who said "I love you" first, Catherine said he did, but it was something like "I love who you are." That is not the same thing as "I love you." When he said he loved her but he wasn't in love with her, I was like, yep, that sounds right.

I forgot about that, but I remember when they showed the text and it said "I love who you are" that I thought it was not the same as an "I love you". He probably should not put love in any sentence, because she would take it as him saying I love you. 

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14 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I don't think either of them is wrong in this situation, they are just...teenagers.  Max and Nev were wrong for trying to berate the kid.  "You're 18, tell your parents you're going out."  My mom would have knocked me out of a window at that age if she said "don't leave" and I left. 

Lmao @Spencer Hastings  same here ! If I , as 18 year old DNR told my mother after she said stay in , " I'm going out anyway " - I'd be flying thru the wall like the Kool Aid jug ! 

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So, the production realized there wasn't really any story so they sent Max out to feign indignation on the catfishee's behalf and shout sexist shaming things at Graham about 'being a man.'  Max even yelled at him for not saying anything to her, when she spent most of the conversation with her back turned to him, her hair covering her face whilst she hid behind Nev...which were supposed to beleive was a sign of her own superior 'maturity?' Then he insists on spouting a bunch of stereotypical cheap shots about "he lives in a cookie-cutter mcmansion development so he must be super-priveleged and sheltered!"

So, so sorry that he messed up your tv production by not showing up one day, but we should perhaps keep in mind that Catherine was the one who originally stood him up in Tenessee, in a classic catfish move.  In fact, she really displayed more catfish red flags (with all of her baggage about a relative having cancer) then he did, but apparently not video-chatting with people is now a federal offense!    These are just kids, they haven't learned about things like codependancy and healthy relationships yet, so please don't try to act like there was some big violation going on here and she was the heroine while he was a mustache-twirling villain.  He gave her a lot of emotional support, while she had a one-sided crush.  It happens, it's not something for anyone else to get upset about. 

 

Honestly, they handle the real psychopaths living in trailers and making their living as catfish con-artists with kid gloves while randomly going off on him?  I just can't stand this show anymore, it's all so produced and predictable.

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I actually thought this ep was probably closer to what goes on all over the interwebs. Dumb young kids hook up through social media and expectations rise on one side while the other one is just playing around. I was actually relieved  when it wasn't an obese lesbian 30 year old pretending to be an 18 year old. 

No max he's not a man. He's a kid. She's a kid. She  misinterpreted their relationship. I would have loved to see the scene when grahams  white bread mom and dad found out their kid made a fool of himself on the TV. That would be entertaining. 

I couldn't take my eyes off girlfriend's gladiator sandals and shorts. Lawd

Edited by poeticlicensed
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7 hours ago, Glade said:

S Max even yelled at him for not saying anything to her, when she spent most of the conversation with her back turned to him, her hair covering her face whilst she hid behind Nev...which were supposed to believe was a sign of her own superior 'maturity?'

That's what I came to post about. She's sooo more mature than him with that hair-stroking thing going on and not looking him in the eye, smh

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I'd imagine Mama's pearl clutching upon hearing that her boy had been corresponding with a Yankee Jezebel was Oscar-worthy. No wonder Graham didn't want to take Reverend Loudermilk's daughter Susie to the homecoming dance. This is going to cause a scandal in their Nashville suburb that even Kerry Washington can't fix.

Daddy on the other hand was probably a little relieved. Susie can keep her fresh baked muffins and sanctimonious attitude if Catherine will bring some of those garlic knots. Just keep Reynolds away cuz that Kid has a hollow leg.

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The funniest part about the whole thing was the dramatics played up by Nev and Max to which Graham had a rather rational answer for.  Why didn't you have a video chat for TWO YEARS!?!?!  TWO WHOLE YEARS!!!  WHY!?!?!?

Graham was like....uh, camera phone was broken.  Sorry.

Why are you telling her you loved her!?!??!?  YOU SAID IT!!! YOU DID!!!

Uh...I love her as a person, but I'm not IN love with her.

Why didn't you show up at the park yesterday?  Cuz you're a little bitch! Who does whatever his mommy tells him to do!?!??

Uh...yeah...while they pay the bills, that's what happens.  Sorry.

Not everything is such a federal case.  Once they saw that the accounts looked legit...just tell her he's real and move on.  This was totally a "Not much is going on here so we need to ramp up the drama for TV."

I didn't feel sorry for either one of them.  He's a teenager yes, but that's no excuse for being that big of an idiot.  She needs to seek out some therapy for her extreme attachment issues.  Both of them were morons.  God help the future.

Edited by CaughtOnTape
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On 9/8/2016 at 2:32 AM, BigDfromLA said:

She needs to be with older guys who are a little more mature. This guy is in high school, for goodness sakes!! He was completely acting age appropriate, which she certainly doesn't need.

No way! The hair stroking and the hiding behind Max are proof that SHE'S the immature one.

On 9/8/2016 at 9:08 AM, Misslindsey said:

I think Graham thought she was a catfish. She was the one who reached out to him via social media and she said she would take a trip to Nashville but did not. Of course he would not video chat, so they both had some catfish tendencies.

This! I knew he was going to be real because she's the one who made first contact. This and the fact that she didn't meet up when they first made plans should have made HIM  suspicious. 

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I was actually surprised Graham turned out to be real. With the different phone number, broken camera, the past hacking, and his twitter account not seeming like it was linked to his facebook, there were lots of reasons to believe he was a catfish. I actually don't think he did anything wrong, and his reasons seemed pretty appropriate for a teenage boy.

My favorite line of the night: "I've never seen a garage with windows before." Uh, most garages have windows! Maybe not that big, but still. 

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3 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Graham reminded me of the Preppy Murderer or a rapey Kennedy. 

Ha ha, me too. 

You know what bugged me the MOST about this episode? That he referred to himself as #countryboy (the way she found him on IG). I'm from the country. Still live there. Even lived in Nashville for awhile and went to college there. It looked like he lived in Brentwood, which is the ritziest part of the urban area. So I feel like I am qualified to make this judgement: no Brentwood prep, living in a McMansion, is a "country boy."

Man, I am feeling snippy tonight. 

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Catherine was a pretty frightening person. She needs some serious treatment, not a boyfriend. I'm still chuckling at Max telling her she was so much more mature than he was when her behavior was so off (that was a LOT more than a usual hair-fiddling habit). Graham seemed like a dumb kid, but Catherine seemed like she needs real help. I felt bad for her because she's clearly deeply troubled, but Max and Nev should not have enabled her the way they did. I was so uncomfortable with that episode.

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On 9/10/2016 at 1:56 AM, mamadrama said:

Ha ha, me too. 

You know what bugged me the MOST about this episode? That he referred to himself as #countryboy (the way she found him on IG). I'm from the country. Still live there. Even lived in Nashville for awhile and went to college there. It looked like he lived in Brentwood, which is the ritziest part of the urban area. So I feel like I am qualified to make this judgement: no Brentwood prep, living in a McMansion, is a "country boy."

Man, I am feeling snippy tonight. 

There are a lot of people that grew up in the south that have money, and they all started fancying themselves "country" after they started listening to Luke Bryan and Kenny Chesney. But I totally agree with you.

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4 hours ago, cmfran said:

There are a lot of people that grew up in the south that have money, and they all started fancying themselves "country" after they started listening to Luke Bryan and Kenny Chesney. But I totally agree with you.

I hear you. Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, and the rest of the bro country dudes irritate me for this very reason. 

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15 hours ago, truebluesmoky said:

I feel bad for her. I think she might still be hung up on him, although I think it's fairly clear at this point that she's low on his priority list. She's defending him and talking about how "extremely handsome" he is, while he's out there living his life and having a good time. Just take a look at his Instagram -- no mention of Catherine, the show, but plenty of pictures of him with other girls, going out, having fun. 

Like others have mentioned, Graham actually seemed like a fairly normal teen. I doubt he honestly expected that Catherine would develop such deep feelings, without even meeting in person. He also seems like the kind of guy with a ton of options in real life, so my best guess is that he was just talking to Catherine when he was bored/didn't have anything to do, but didn't really see her as potential romantic prospect or even a friend he'd want to integrate into his real life.

Edited by lavenderpenguin
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On 9/9/2016 at 11:33 PM, pezgirl7 said:

My favorite line of the night: "I've never seen a garage with windows before." Uh, most garages have windows! Maybe not that big, but still. 

Around here it depends on the area. Older areas, yes, newer no. I don't know why they've gone out of style. Could be to save construction costs. Could be for security.

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9 minutes ago, LoneHaranguer said:

Around here it depends on the area. Older areas, yes, newer no. I don't know why they've gone out of style. Could be to save construction costs. Could be for security.

That's why I said "most".  :) I just have a hard time believing Nev has never seen a garage with windows, which is why I found it funny. Those were some pretty big windows though, I'll give him that.

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On 9/9/2016 at 10:33 PM, pezgirl7 said:

My favorite line of the night: "I've never seen a garage with windows before." Uh, most garages have windows! Maybe not that big, but still. 

While I'm sure they're used to the not so nice sides of towns when dealing with a catfish, I have to call BS on that because the garages with windows that match the house have been pretty common on new builds for awhile now.   I think that was an off way to say "we've never visited a catfish with this nice of a house before" lol 

I was so confused when they said Graham was only 18.  Maybe I missed that part at the beginning but I thought he was in his 20s and just had a baby face.  But no, he WAS a baby! 

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On September 7, 2016 at 11:32 PM, BeatrixK said:

I am team Graham on this one -- yes..he was kind of a dumbass....but I don't think he was being cruel -- he just didn't think that 'Someone I never will likely meet certainly won't really consider this a lifelong commitment.'  Katherine, on the other hand....girl was 10 seconds away from heading to Target to get on the wedding registry.  Katherine and the weird hiding, too -- I dunno -- I just think two stupid kids being stupid kids on the Interwebs...but Katherine was just amping that shit up to 11 on the nutty scale.

I'm of two minds about this.  One part of me thinks Graham was a bored rich boy who thought he'd be kind to this "charity case" Catherine.  

On the other hand, how old was Graham when all this started?  Seventeen?  Catherine was also older than he.  Graham was 18, which means he has the brain of a fifteen year old (a generalization, I know).

Someone should take Catherine aside and tell her that if you tell all of your tales of woe, right at the start of the relationship, he might not see you as "wife material" especially if he's a teenage boy.  Graham might have felt he had to be a gentleman about it and didn't blow her off.  Now he was WRONG to talk about getting married and nonsense like that, plain and simple; that is just stupid and cruel if he didn't mean it.  

Come to think of it, Graham probably was just a spoiled, bored rich prick who will probably join a fraternity and become a dirt bag.

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I deal with "women" like Katherine every day, only they are usually older (often A LOT older), take things far more overboard, and fall completely apart when they realize that yet again, they made a connection more than it was (and totally blame the a-hole guy) because they have attachment issues that are epic. 

"OMG! I saw this guy when I was walking into a store. He was 90 yards away in a parking lot, but he smiled at me! When are we going to meet again? When are we going to date? When will we get married? How long before he loves me? Is he still thinking about me?"

 

I don't even kid. This is why I DON'T drink, because if I did, I'd drink multiple boxes of wine...daily.

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PS- there was something so off about the way Graham looked.

What box # of L'Oreal Feria does he use? Or is he a Garnier guy?

That hair style, ugh.

He had a very punchable face, even if she was a Stage 11 clinger that needs some help.

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On ‎9‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 7:02 PM, Glade said:

Honestly, they handle the real psychopaths living in trailers and making their living as catfish con-artists with kid gloves while randomly going off on him? 

Who would you rather piss off? 
On some of these, they look really exposed, if someone came out shooting.

I read lots of classic British mysteries, so I think of Graham as the son of the house, who saw no harm in playing around with the kitchen maid.  It's not like she's really a person.

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59 minutes ago, auntjess said:

Who would you rather piss off? 
On some of these, they look really exposed, if someone came out shooting.

I read lots of classic British mysteries, so I think of Graham as the son of the house, who saw no harm in playing around with the kitchen maid.  It's not like she's really a person.

Well, he was offering her emotional support and friendship without expecting/wanting anything, like sex or a relationship in return, which makes him a nice person in my book, and quite the opposite of most people on this show who are only offering emotional support because the other person supposedly looks like a supermodel.

Edited by Glade
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Hi! First-time poster on the Catfish forum here! I came because I have to talk about Catherine & Graham, I have a such a soft heart for these two. Catherine reminds me so much of myself. I even do the nervous hair twirling but not to the same extent! Graham is cute as a button, and I don’t see him as arrogant, spoiled, heartless, entitled and or anything else he got slammed for. I think Nev and Max jumped the shark in this episode. They went big time overboard with the personal attack on Graham and I feel like they had a lot to do with Catherine’s behavior. They pretty much turned her into a basket case way before they dumped her on his front lawn. This episode could have had a totally different resolution had Nev and Max just introduced them and stepped the hell off for a minute instead of immediately tearing into Graham. I don’t know if anyone else thinks this, but her reaction to seeing him was normal excitement. That’s how it seemed to me. Then, when he said “it was me, I’m real” he seemed really calm. If Max had backed off and gave her some space she might have been brave enough to hug him. I feel he’d have been totally open to it too, judging by his body language. Did anyone else think Max was less protective and more creepy territorial with Catherine? He should have stepped to the side and encouraged her to stand on her own instead of letting her hide behind him. 

Graham looked nervous too as he was walking over, which was completely normal too, then relaxed when he saw that Catherine was really Catherine, too. Then the dynamic duo started in and he got increasingly more flustered and embarrassed. I think he did have romantic feelings for her in the beginning and when she flaked on meeting him, he was genuinely disappointed. So, if he kept her on low after that it’s a bit her fault. I understand why she did but it’s like, “Girl! You wouldn’t be a secret if he’s wanting to bring you into his real life.”. I think he might have talked himself out of falling in love with her because he didn’t know what to expect from her anymore after that. I believe he did feel more than just friendship because when she finally spoke to him he looked really hurt, not so much by what she was saying, just the way she was saying it. He didn’t look like that when Nev and Max were trying to call him out.

Anyway what a wall of text, sorry! Apparently she posted a picture and comment on Instagram right after the episode aired and they’ve worked things out and have both moved on. I liked these two so much I just can’t help but wonder what might have been had Nev and Max not turned their first meeting into one great big train wreck.

Edited by Marilee
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