The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy

[roamyn]

Sorry. I used to be an event planner b4 moving in May.

Cash bars are VERY common. And even then, limited by Bride & Groom due to liability issues.

Those bars that are open, almost always have a limit of drinks per guest, no shots, limited brands of alcohol, or specialty drinks only.

I've seen fathers of bride/groom bring their own expensive liquor that only he & his friends can drink (no shit - seen it several times). I've seen groomsmen with hidden flaska (that then had to be confiscated), and I've seen bride/groom/parents buy the cheapest crap and request a few bottles of "the good stuff" and have the bar tenders of event planners (us) hide for them only.

Amy having a cash bar is nothing. I'm sure it was mentioned on invites.

Edited September 11, 2015 by roamyn

[Julia]

It's not unheard of to serve cocktails before dinner and then switch to wine and beer during/after (which is actually not a bad idea, since your guests will be driving). But my impression is (I clung fiercely to my Miss Manners in the runup to my wedding as a defense against my mother's imaginative thoughts about etiquette as it relates to the families of ex-husbands) that if you can't afford to serve something to your guests, you should plan your wedding without it.

[lulu69]

Sorry. I used to be an event planner b4 moving in May.

Cash bars are VERY common. And even then, limited by Bride & Groom due to liability issues.

 

I'm ehh on Famy's alleged cash bar.

 

Maybe its a regional thing (NYC) or cultural thing (mediterranean ancestry), but around here when you're invited to a wedding you expect to be fed a decent meal (hello Jilly & Jessa) & have the liquor free flowing. Oh, and also appropriately dressed, i.e. no denim, flip flops, white sack dresses, etc..

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

My only issue with cash bars is to let me know ahead of time so I can hit the ATM.

Okay, I'm lying, cash bars annoy me. I sat through your wedding ceremony in a dress and heels. The least you can do is get me loaded on semi-decent whiskey.

I grew up in New Orleans, a very culturally Catholic city where every event is an excuse to party....typically with alcohol. Every wedding I've ever been to had an open bar. It's considered a social faux pas to have a cash bar at a reasonable size wedding reception in NOLA and the surrounding areas in South Louisiana. I never even knew wedding receptions didn't always have open bars until I attended my Southern Baptist cousin's wedding in central Florida when I was 23. There was something called "wedding punch" with some type of alcohol for free, but that was limited and any other beer, wine, mixed drinks, etc were cash bar. I was shocked (and thankful I had cash).

When my hubby and I were planning our wedding, someone (not from NOLA), suggested we do a cash bar to cut costs. We were scandalized. Our reaction was that we'd rather go without a wedding cake or go with less food or something than do a cash bar (we ended up not having to cut down/eliminate anything food-wise and still did the open bar). Seriously, people here will often have crawfish boils with a keg of beer at the parties to celebrate their kids' (Catholic) baptisms. I was raised that you bring presents to events and in return you get booze and food.

My husband's fundie-lite cousin is getting married in Georgia in December. The reception is in a hall at the church and either free or very cheap. The church won't allow alcohol or dancing on their property. Now that I've read about fundie/fundie-lite weddings, I'm dreading this wedding. We are going to travel several states and there won't even be dancing or booze. I've never encountered a wedding like this....such a wedding reception would be so out of the norm where we grew up. I am worried I'm going to get there & find out I've come that far just to get ice cream in a parking lot in December. I swear, if that's the case, I'm retrieving my present from the gift table and leaving. (yes, I might be a terrible person)

If it's normal for people in Amy's part of the country to do cash bar, then I suppose whatever she wanted to do is fine. But I agree that I'd like a heads up to any wedding where there will be a cash bar so I can make sure I have cash. :) Maybe they didn't want an open bar because they had planned for TLC to be filming and were worried someone would hit the open bar too hard and make a fool of themselves or the Duggars on TV (if it's possible to make them look any more foolish).

Edited September 12, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I'm ehh on Famy's alleged cash bar.

Maybe its a regional thing (NYC) or cultural thing (mediterranean ancestry), but around here when you're invited to a wedding you expect to be fed a decent meal (hello Jilly & Jessa) & have the liquor free flowing. Oh, and also appropriately dressed, i.e. no denim, flip flops, white sack dresses, etc..

Same in New Orleans.

Also the same with most weddings of family members on the Polish and Ukrainian sides of my family, so I don't think it's just a Mediterranean thing. I wonder if it's more that these cultures are more Catholic-influenced/Eastern Orthodox-influenced than the white Protestant groups that settled in the South (except the Gulf Coast) & Midwestern areas that aren't huge urban centers.

Edited September 12, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Chai]

I'm ok with a cash bar or open bar. Whatever the wedding couple wants is fine with me. What I'm not ok with is being made to go to a wedding in an open parking lot with no chairs and have only a root beer float in November or whatever month it was. Give the guests something to eat with wedding cake for dessert. If you are that against alcohol and you invited me to a wedding, I guess I'd know that. I wouldn't go. But don't diss those of us that drink socially, either.

 

And just to add to the hypocrites, in the first book of theirs I bought, they used to sell alcohol and cigarettes in the store they owned. I will givejthem a pass since they said they found it upsetting to be getting wealth from something they didn't like using themselves.(socially wrong, financially wise.)

[Chai]

Just to be clear, they stopped selling alcohol and cigarettes because they thought it was wrong. To me, that was the right thing to do.

[magpye29]

But I agree that I'd like a heads up to any wedding where there will be a cash bar so I can make sure I have cash. :)

 

Then you'd really hate something they do a lot here in Southern New England--the money dance!  Yes, the bride and groom get out on the dance floor and people give them money to dance with them.  Sometimes the bride has a kind of sash where they pin the money on, and sometimes she has a big satin pouch and people put the money in it.  It's awful.  My mother was appalled that I refused to do it (my sister made out like a bandit at her wedding).  I can't remember if we had a cash bar, but we had bottles of wine on every table for those who wanted to partake.  I think my father paid for an hour of cash bar (can't remember).

[pinguina]

The money dance? We called it the dollar dance!!  Always had them at the weddings I went to when everyone was getting married.  i am not from New England.  I always thought it was a Mexican tradition.  I had friends who paid for almost all of their honeymoon with that money!!

Side note: Food and drink are important for the weddings I've been in and attended.  It was a big shocker when a relative married someone who was not of our "culture".  At the reception, their was wine (pretty good, too!), hors d'oeuvres - NO DINNER!! We were starved! (And it was not a question of a tight budget - money was not an issue for them)

[SometimesBites]

I was actually kind of surprised not to hear that Amy had a money gig. I've seen money purses, money pinned to the bride's veil, and money trees. I think all versions are just wedding traditions passed down within certain geographies, religious communities, and families. My ex husband was Sicilian, and the money things always happened at family weddings. I couldn't do it--I'd be embarrassed. But that's just me.

[magpye29]

The money dance? We called it the dollar dance!!

 

 

I'm half Portuguese, and I always assumed it was a Portuguese thing.  I've heard it called the dollar dance, too.  We Portuguese apparently love pinning money onto things.  I just attended the feast of Our Lady of Angels, and during the procession (it was NOT called a parade), a lot of Mary statues went by covered in money people had donated to the parish.  

 

Back on topic, is it weird that I recently saw a photo of Josie wearing cowboy boots and wondered for a minute why she was allowed to do so?  (Yes, I forgot that there are also cowgirls!)

[CofCinci]

Back on topic, is it weird that I recently saw a photo of Josie wearing cowboy boots and wondered for a minute why she was allowed to do so?  (Yes, I forgot that there are also cowgirls!)

Josie gets to play by a different set of rules.

[riverblue22]

I can't imagine any kind of money dance being permitted at a Southern Baptist wedding, even one not held in a church.

 

I went to a Czech wedding where the men paid their money and got a shot of whiskey before their dance with the bride.  The bride was beautiful, the line was long!

Edited September 12, 2015 by riverblue22

[TaxNerd]

My sister in law made enough money from the dollar dance and bought a car. A car! They announced the amount of money each person gave so the whole room could applaud. It took almost 45 minutes, just watching the bride dance as people gave hundreds of dollars while people applauded. We didn't bring any cash, and so my husband (bride's brother) was publicly shamed.

So Amyis on the cover of People, albeit the corner. Guess she got what she really wanted.

[zenme]

My sister in law made enough money from the dollar dance and bought a car. A car! They announced the amount of money each person gave so the whole room could applaud. It took almost 45 minutes, just watching the bride dance as people gave hundreds of dollars while people applauded. We didn't bring any cash, and so my husband (bride's brother) was publicly shamed.

 

Oh, that's awful! Not about the cash, but about announcing the people and their amounts! I saw an episode on a Bravo show where the bride and groom were tallying up their cash and writing down the names and making comments about the amounts their friends and family had gifted.  That's kinda tacky.  (No offense to your sister-in-law. )

[Julia]

I was actually kind of surprised not to hear that Amy had a money gig. I've seen money purses, money pinned to the bride's veil, and money trees. I think all versions are just wedding traditions passed down within certain geographies, religious communities, and families. My ex husband was Sicilian, and the money things always happened at family weddings. I couldn't do it--I'd be embarrassed. But that's just me.

 

My (northern italian) mom insisted that the woman who made my dress make a draw-string bag out of the same fabric for me to carry. I thought it was really tacky, and 'forgot' it on the head table for most of the reception. So, she cornered me when it was time to cut the cake and insisted that I put it on. I was immediately swarmed by little old ladies with envelopes.

 

Oh, that's awful! Not about the cash, but about announcing the people and their amounts! I saw an episode on a Bravo show where the bride and groom were tallying up their cash and writing down the names and making comments about the amounts their friends and family had gifted.  That's kinda tacky.  (No offense to your sister-in-law. )

 

Yeah, really gotta second that. The guests at a wedding are there so the bride and groom can share a day that's important to them. I think the whole wedding industrial complex that's grown up around it is fine if that's the party you want to throw, but the actual wedding is just an excuse for that party. 

[neural-plasticity]

I'm fairly young, but I've noticed a lot of people my age or younger who get married do the dollar dance. My husband refused to do that (he thought it was tacky) and I agreed with him. I really wouldn't be surprised if Amy had done one of these dances, though. I also agree the cash bar is kind of tacky... but I know everyone has different opinions on it. As long as Amy had the perfect day to her, then I'm happy for her! Now I'll just sit and wait for her to stop talking about her cousins' business that she should stay out of :)

[JoanArc]

So tired of reading about wedding traditions.

[kokapetl]

FWIW, you'd have to be a vegetable in an office chair to confuse Michelle in an off white nurse costume for the bride. Amy would honestly be more pissed off if Michelle didn't show up at all. Attention is attention to her.

Edited September 12, 2015 by Kokapetl

[3girlsforus]

Then you'd really hate something they do a lot here in Southern New England--the money dance!  Yes, the bride and groom get out on the dance floor and people give them money to dance with them.  Sometimes the bride has a kind of sash where they pin the money on, and sometimes she has a big satin pouch and people put the money in it.  It's awful.  My mother was appalled that I refused to do it (my sister made out like a bandit at her wedding).  I can't remember if we had a cash bar, but we had bottles of wine on every table for those who wanted to partake.  I think my father paid for an hour of cash bar (can't remember).

 

I was wondering if this was going to come up. I would much rather go to a wedding that has a cash bar at the after party than a wedding with the money dance. I've only been to one but it was the tackiest thing I have ever seen at a wedding.  

[Defrauder]

Just because it pisses off Jealessa, and Mechelle, I must say how very beautiful Amy looked on HER wedding day and i am so looking forward to 100 new photos of AMY's wedding!!  

[flyingdi]

I was under the impression the money from a cash bar doesn't actually go to the bride and groom. It goes to pay for the bar. Am I wrong about this?

Edited September 12, 2015 by flyingdi

[zenme]

I was under the impression the money from a cash bar doesn't actually go to the bride and groom. It goes to pay for the bar. Am I wrong about this?

 

You are correct.

[Love2dance]

So tired of reading about wedding traditions.

I admit to being girly and sentimental, but I love reading about wedding traditions. Even what the Duggars did and did not do at their weddings.

Edited September 12, 2015 by Love2dance

[bigskygirl]

The wedding traditions off topic discussion ship has been sailing out in the deep blue forum sea long enough. Lets bring it back to land by going back to the topic at hand. The Small Talk thread dock would be glad to take the wedding tradition discussion onto its ship.

[Wellfleet]

Josie gets to play by a different set of rules.

 

Just like her Momma. Must be a "youngest" kind of thing...

Edited September 12, 2015 by Wellfleet

[BitterApple]

So should we take bets on when Amy is going to announce her "honeymoon" baby that was conceived two months prior to the nuptials?

[Guest]

Famy's photographer posted a bunch of new pictures on his blog. 

 

http://www.thebenfieldblog.com/2015/09/dillon-king-and-amy-duggars-wedding_11.html

[CofCinci]

Famy's photographer posted a bunch of new pictures on his blog.

http://www.thebenfieldblog.com/2015/09/dillon-king-and-amy-duggars-wedding_11.html

Your turn, Jessa.

Amy and her friends look very happy.

[Guest]

Famy's photographer posted a bunch of new pictures on his blog. 

 

http://www.thebenfieldblog.com/2015/09/dillon-king-and-amy-duggars-wedding_11.html

 

BTW, I agree with Grandma Mary. Her cake looked "naked." NIKE! 

[3girlsforus]

Famy's photographer posted a bunch of new pictures on his blog. 

 

http://www.thebenfieldblog.com/2015/09/dillon-king-and-amy-duggars-wedding_11.html

 

I love that Michele was not in the picture of Amy praying with her grandmother, mo, and the bridesmaids. I can just see Michele trying to take over a sweet time like that to show her 'superior faith'. 

 

It looks like it was a beautiful wedding. 

[Ilovemylabs]

I have to say I think she looked lovely.  I liked the bridesmaid's dresses and hers too...very simple and pretty. She looked happy and she was obviously having a good time. I really liked the slim wedding band with the diamonds, but I like simple jewelry.  How sweet of her dad to present her with those earrings.  They are not my style but looked gorgeous.  I have always liked Amy.  I just wish she and Dillon would fade away into a happy and private life.

 

PS  Hated the cake.

[Fuzzysox]

The pictures are gorgeous! Her dress is so beautiful when you see it up close as well as the bridesmaid dresses.

As for the cake, it's actually called a naked cake. Good choice for weddings were fondant or buttercreme won't be able to stand up to the heat or humidity of the summer. I think it was beautifully done.

Edited September 13, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[dargosmydaddy]

Love how Jenny is all "I don't do silly, get me out of here..."

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ISqoASUTMlM/VfNFTYZAYjI/AAAAAAAAHso/ke58WEOZIpg/s1600/amy-duggar-wedding-photos-portraits-06.jpg

[Wellfleet]

I have to say I think she looked lovely.  I liked the bridesmaid's dresses and hers too...very simple and pretty. She looked happy and she was obviously having a good time. I really liked the slim wedding band with the diamonds, but I like simple jewelry.  How sweet of her dad to present her with those earrings.  They are not my style but looked gorgeous.  I have always liked Amy.  I just wish she and Dillon would fade away into a happy and private life.

 

PS  Hated the cake.

 

Didn't care for the cake either, but it really was the smartest choice to make under those circumstances. Anything else would have pooled onto the floor before the ceremony was over. If Amy had her heart set on a gleaming white buttercream or cream cheese cake, she needed to find herself an air-conditioned venue. And I think the arrangements, overall, seem to have been too hurried for that.

[BitterApple]

The pictures are really beautiful. The J'slaves should take notes on how nice a wedding you can have when you don't invite 3,000 guests.

[SometimesBites]

Josie gets to play by a different set of rules.

*slurp

[JenCarroll]

Love how Jenny is all "I don't do silly, get me out of here..."

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ISqoASUTMlM/VfNFTYZAYjI/AAAAAAAAHso/ke58WEOZIpg/s1600/amy-duggar-wedding-photos-portraits-06.jpg

Jenny's my favorite. :-)

[SometimesBites]

Jenny's my favorite. :-)

That picture really interests me. Jana looks cute and charmingly silly, which is wonderful for a damned change. Famy is over-the-top, but she always is. The one that bugs is Jessa. There may as well be no one else with her--for her, it's just one more Lady Godiva/Duggar Madonna moment.

[Patricia07]

The one that interested me was Anna.  I just felt sad

[SometimesBites]

The one that interested me was Anna.  I just felt sad

Me too, Patricia. It's awful to see her shoved in next to the bride, giving a hearty thumbs up. Kind of her role in that family. Smile, Anna.

[Satchels of gold]

Who is the Duggar in the blue shirt to the right of Amy?

[Barbie]

Who is the Duggar in the blue shirt to the right of Amy?

JoyAnna

[Celia Rubenstein]

 

I would like to see a pic of Amy's cake as it was displayed at the wedding.  You know, what the whole table looked like. Because I can see that kind of "naked cake" being a fine choice for certain types of weddings (low key, maybe rustic or the beach).  But it looks like the rest of the decor for her wedding was just a little too fancy for such a simple cake.  I'd like to see how it fit in with the rest of the reception decor. 

 

Sorry for the giant picture - I don't know how to shrink it down

Edited September 13, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[queenanne]

Oh, OK, Amy-and-Josie-under-Amy's-veil are cute as heck.  Credit where credit is due.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I love that Michele was not in the picture of Amy praying with her grandmother, mo, and the bridesmaids. I can just see Michele trying to take over a sweet time like that to show her 'superior faith'.

It looks like it was a beautiful wedding.

I know I'm a shallow bitch and I'm going to hell for saying this... but I would have required Mullet to actually style her hair and wear a decent dress if she wanted to be in my formal wedding pics. You know, actually put some effort into her look. Looking like an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is not what I'd want for my pictures. Michelle doesn't have a job and doesn't do anything around the house. She could at least look nice.

In 2015, who wants a mullet in their wedding pics ???

[SometimesBites]

 

I would like to see a pic of Amy's cake as it was displayed at the wedding.  You know, what the whole table looked like. Because I can see that kind of "naked cake" being a fine choice for certain types of weddings (low key, maybe rustic or the beach).  But it looks like the rest of the decor for her wedding was just a little too fancy for such a simple cake.  I'd like to see how it fit in with the rest of the reception decor. 

 

Sorry for the giant picture - I don't know how to shrink it down

I'd never seen this naked cake thing before. I actually kind of like it. This one echoes Amy's dress, to me--the simple white with neutral-colored sash. I do think it would have looked nce with a few strategically-placed real flowers.

[Fuzzysox]

On my cake decorators FB page I see naked cakes all day long they are really popular. Amy's cake is done perfectly. It is not the hot mess Jill had. This cake was done by a professional not a home baker.

[Zahdii]

About the naked cake.  Not really my style, but I can see most of my family really happy with it.  Most of them scrape off the frosting before they'll eat a slice of cake.

[3girlsforus]

I know I'm a shallow bitch and I'm going to hell for saying this... but I would have required Mullet to actually style her hair and wear a decent dress if she wanted to be in my formal wedding pics. You know, actually put some effort into her look. Looking like an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is not what I'd want for my pictures. Michelle doesn't have a job and doesn't do anything around the house. She could at least look nice.

In 2015, who wants a mullet in their wedding pics ???

 

You aren't a shallow bitch. I completely agree with you. Michele made no attempt at all to look decent. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world but when I go to something like a wedding or other formal event I dress appropriately, I do my hair and makeup, and I look as good as I can. She looked like she rolled out of bed and found something wadded up on the floor to put on.