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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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ouinason

ouinason

On 8/31/2020 at 10:47 AM, doodlebug said:

I presume he is referring to unborn people and conservative Christians.  I don't think Derick thinks the rest of us are getting taken advantage of; we're getting what we deserve in his estimation, I suspect.

That's kind of a huge leap.  If he'd said the "defenseless" or something I would agree with you, but "taken advantage of" is not something I have ever heard in context with pro life or anything like it.  

 

I would love it if he went after those Baker and his covid "cure"and other figures who take advantage of old people and stuff though.

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Jenniferbug

Jenniferbug

4 hours ago, Madtown said:

Just when Jill takes 3 steps forward, she takes 2 steps back. She and Amy were looking at Easy Bake Ovens and Jill said... "Being 2 boy mom's, we can't do this." UGH! I was actually hoping Amy would have taught her otherwise.

Jill, if you are reading here...YES, your boys CAN play with an Easy Bake Oven! They would probably have a lot of fun with it. They even had different colors and some being "boy" colors.

What's a little odd to me about Jill saying they couldn't get it because she's a boy mom is that she's frequently shown herself baking and cooking with her boys. So it's ok if it's real, but not if it's a toy? Must be Duggar logic at work. 

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ouinason

ouinason

Maybe she just doesn't think that her boys would be interested.  Also, Amy's son is way too young for that kind of toy.  IDK, lots of parents do that gendered toy thing and don't even think about it.  It's sort of what was done for many, many, years and it's not automatic to think "hey, my son might want a my little pony" even now.  As much as we want things to be gender neutral and egalitarian, it's still work for a lot of people to do that.  And it's work to find things that aren't "pink for girls with glitter" and "blue for boys and mud".  

 

I'm having trouble finding neutral stuff for my nieces for Christmas this year for that very reason.  I want truly neutral, not "girls can play with toy soldiers too".  They are too little to have expressed any real preferences yet.

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lookeyloo

lookeyloo

So I watched the video. Jill has come a long way. She still says “yay” and “are you excited?” Way too many times. Derick looks like he enjoys his children now. Israel wore real shoes to school. If it weren’t for their odious views and Derick’s personality I would think they were “any family USA”. 

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Jynnan tonnix

Jynnan tonnix

9 hours ago, SMama said:

Israel wore shoes the first day of school, flip flops on the second day. 

Maybe once he got there they found that a lot of the other kids were wearing flip flops as well or something. Or if he wore his new shoes all day, maybe they gave him a blister or he found that they were not comfortable (that happens a lot - shoes seem fine in the store, then you wear them for an hour and it turns out they hurt). I wonder whether they broke them in a bit before starting school.

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SMama

SMama

52 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I wonder whether they broke them in a bit before starting school.

Duggars are not known for thinking ahead.

I watched the video and it was good to see Israel so excited about school. SGirl (13) was watching with me and was instantly annoyed by the “yay” and “are you excited.” 

When Jill said she was homeschooled, SGirl said “yeah it shows.” I did explain to my snarky child (no idea where she got that from) that there are many parents who do a good job homeschooling. SGirl retorted, “The Duggars certainly screwed up royally.” 
 

I was surprised at the hour long wait for pick up. I really hope Israel can remain in school, no outbreaks, so he doesn’t have to do virtual school.

SGirl is doing DL but she is already used to being on a schedule. Israel attending school forces Jill into an area of the real world she has never inhabited. Set bedtimes for the boys, making it to school on time, picking up Israel on time. It also gives her one on one time with Sam. The experience will benefit the entire family. I hope Jill grows from this new season of life.

PS. Even distance learning requires more of a schedule than Jill had at the TTH. 

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Nysha

Nysha

Jill & Derek's dinner had color! Orange food, green food, yay!

Either Jill's hair cutting skills are getting better or the male Dillard's had someone else cut their hair b/c all three of them look pretty good.

I can't believe how relaxed and happy Jill is in her videos. 

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Zahdii

Zahdii

I saw a lot of good things in that video.  Jill and Derick worked well to get Izz to school, they were upbeat and seemed genuinely excited for this big event.  Izz was happy and looking forward to the new experience.  I'm sure that his parents talking about it beforehand, explaining what was going to happen, presenting it as a good thing, going to the school with them when they signed him up, all contributed to having a good experience.

Sam didn't really understand just what was happening, as a child of his age wouldn't, but he didn't appear to be upset at all.  He'd been around when Izz was being prepped for school, and probably understood that his big brother was going to a place for a few hours a day, and it was a good thing.  Big brother would come back again.  Mom and Dad and Izzy were looking forward to it.  He trusts that this is OK, so he's OK.  He got Mom to himself for a time.  The little bit of Jill's preschool seemed age appropriate and fun.

Both parents (and Sam) went to pick Izz up and Jill mentioned that they didn't expect such a long wait and also said that she wished she'd brought something along for Sam to amuse himself while they waited.

Izz seemed fine when he got in the car.  Happy and confident, no sign that he'd had a bad day.

There are some things I would have done differently if I'd inhabited Jill's body at that time, but nothing major.  I might have filmed the night before but not posted it, kept it for just the family.  The morning wakeup gave me mixed feelings.  I liked how Jill didn't say anything when Izz woke up and promptly laid back down again and didn't insist he get up RIGHT NOW.  It was cute.  The cut to Sam sleeping right through it was cute.  But when Izz woke up and didn't look at Jill and didn't ask why he had a camera in his face or seemed annoyed with it?  It's because he always has a freakin' camera in his face.  Jill, that's too much videoing your kids.

But they didn't try to film other children at the school.  One appeared in the background but was masked, so probably not a problem.  Even the adults working there were wearing face masks and were filmed briefly and from a distance, and not forced to give an interview.

On the whole, a pretty good video of Isreal's first day of school.

Now Jill, on the issue of potty training Sam?  Not necessary.  Keep it off camera.  Save it until later when you can casually announce that he's potty trained.  Sure, talk privately among your family and friends about it, but the world at large shouldn't know about it.  A few years from now you can talk about general stories about it, and don't specify which kid peed twice in the kitchen in the same spot on the same day.  Even better if you, since you have a large number of strangers following you, say "This happened when someone I know was potty training their child, and this is how it was handled".  

I could post about potty training issues online because I'm anonymous and there's very little chance someone could trace it back to me or my kids or my friends and family's kids.  But you're right out there, and if you name the day something happened, and which child it happened to, it's a whole other issue.  You're doing better than your parents and other reality show people have done.  Just go a step further and emulate someone who is more private with the personal things.

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Madtown

Madtown

2 hours ago, Quof said:

I learned more about Sam's underwear and elimination habits than I ever needed to know.

I just hope Jill didn't punish him to harshly for his accidents. She didn't seem thrilled about the 2nd one, though she could've just been tired. They are going to happen and more than once a day for bit. I would think Sam would know by now what does and doesn't get flushed down the toilet. This isn't the first incident of flushing something that shouldn't be flushed that Jill has recorded.

It was great to see Izzy so happy to go to school. This is was the best thing they could've done for him.

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Tikichick

Tikichick

I agree, potty training details should not be publicly shared.

It had been a while before the school supplies shopping video that I had really watched video of the Dillards at any length.  Is it me, or is there a distinctly different vibe to Jill and Derrick than before?   The tension that I felt bubbling under the surface before doesn't seem to be there in these two recent videos.  I wonder if it's the boys growing up a bit, resulting in somewhat of a lower intensity of demands and needs moment to moment, or something else?   I know households get a little less chaotic when the kids' abilities and independence start to inch up, but honestly it seems both Jill and Derrick are extremely relaxed compared to before in a way that seems beyond simple relief that the kids are more independent.  

As abhorrent as I found some of Derrick's opinions in the past, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised that he clearly was not rehearsed and very much in the moment going through the nighttime prayers with the boys.   There was a time I think these two would have made sure to script the perfect prayer to show their audience just how godly they are.  Instead he quite comfortably just let the moment be what it was.  {I'd love to hear Jessa/Ben's, Jeremy/Jinger's, and the Smuggars' take on the same.}

I'm wondering just how much growing and changing might actually be happening here.  

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PikaScrewChu

PikaScrewChu

While I agree the potty training shouldn't be shared, him going and throwing the "big boy undies" at Jill after his nap cracked me up. Could you imagine any of the Howlers doing that to Meech?

Hell even any of her sisters or sisters-in-law...

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anna0852

anna0852

I hope Jill has a mental countdown to no more diapers going in her head.

She'll be the first of her adult sisters/sister-in-laws to reach that goal. You know Aunt Jana gets handed a baby daily for that task....

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crazy8s

crazy8s

this thread also needs a new title since the dillards have not been soliciting donations that we know of (besides the P.O. box) for a few years. they have dissolved their charity.

derick is going to a real school for a real degree and at least 3 times drove for grubhub....

 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

20 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

this thread also needs a new title since the dillards have not been soliciting donations that we know of (besides the P.O. box) for a few years. they have dissolved their charity.

derick is going to a real school for a real degree and at least 3 times drove for grubhub....

 

Jill & Derick: Who'd a Thunk

Jill & Derick: Adventures in Main Stream Land

Jill & Derick: Turn, Turn, Turn

 

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ouinason

ouinason

I feel for the family all sitting outside and waiting for Iz after school.  Pickup line can be a pain in the ass and I don't have to do it except maybe a couple times a year.  

 

Tension could be lower between Jill and Derick for tons of reasons, and could go back up for a million more.  Marriage isn't as simple as some of these fundy girls seem to think while they are "Praying for " the perfect husband.  That's going to be an adjustment for all of them.  

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farmgal4

farmgal4

8 minutes ago, SMama said:

The caption referred to snack and court. Court? 

Probably something that Derick had to do for school.  I still can’t believe that he’s in his last year of law school.  I remember when the majority of us thought he wouldn’t last more than a semester or two.

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SMama

SMama

Just now, farmgal4 said:

Probably something that Derick had to do for school.  I still can’t believe that he’s in his last year of law school.  I remember when the majority of us thought he wouldn’t last more than a semester or two.

I spent years going to courtrooms waiting to be called as a witness. It’s one of the most boring things in the world. And I was the one who wrote the report the parties were arguing about. I also understood the terminology and other confusing aspects. I wonder if Jill can keep up, or spaces out. If she can’t keep up, I wonder if it makes her doubt all her talk about how superior Duggar Academy was to public school. I still recall a (I think) 13 year old James doing multiplication flash cards with Jill. SGirl is 13 and taking algebra this year. 

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doodlebug

doodlebug

On 9/3/2020 at 6:58 PM, SMama said:

I spent years going to courtrooms waiting to be called as a witness. It’s one of the most boring things in the world. And I was the one who wrote the report the parties were arguing about. I also understood the terminology and other confusing aspects. I wonder if Jill can keep up, or spaces out. If she can’t keep up, I wonder if it makes her doubt all her talk about how superior Duggar Academy was to public school. I still recall a (I think) 13 year old James doing multiplication flash cards with Jill. SGirl is 13 and taking algebra this year. 

I've been involved in a couple of trials and it never ceased to amaze me how much time is wasted by the judge and the attorneys.  Hours every day spent taking 2 hour lunch breaks or 'the judge needs to make a phone call,  let's take a one hour recess' or 'the plaintiff's attorney has decided to call a different witness next.  Two hour recess while the witness gets here'.  Really kind of appalling to see my tax dollars frittered away so easily.

As someone who works in a job where we are tightly scheduled and wasting time will get you canned, it came as a real shock how little respect there was for the time of the jurors, the plaintiffs, the defendants and witnesses.  Literally entire days wasted in the course of a single trial, days that folks like me could've actually been doing my job instead of sitting around waiting for an attorney to make a phone call or have a long lunch.

If Jill is watching a trial with Derrick, she needs No-Doz more than she needs snacks.

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Ohiopirate02

Ohiopirate02

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5 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I've been involved in a couple of trials and it never ceased to amaze me how much time is wasted by the judge and the attorneys.  Hours every day spent taking 2 hour lunch breaks or 'the judge needs to make a phone call,  let's take a one hour recess' or 'the plaintiff's attorney has decided to call a different witness next.  Two hour recess while the witness gets here'.  Really kind of appalling to see my tax dollars frittered away so easily.

As someone who works in a job where we are tightly scheduled and wasting time will get you canned, it came as a real shock how little respect there was for the time of the jurors, the plaintiffs, the defendants and witnesses.  Literally entire days wasted in the course of a single trial, days that folks like me could've actually been doing my job instead of sitting around waiting for an attorney to make a phone call or have a long lunch.

If Jill is watching a trial with Derrick, she needs No-Doz more than she needs snacks.

That happened when I was on a jury.  A 90 minute trial took a day and a half because of all the interruptions.   Throw in deliberations a s we were there for 2 whole days.  I actually didn't mind because I was getting my regular pay for doing my civic duty in addition to the $15/day, and I got to legally hold a large bag of cocaine.   In Ohio all the evidence goes into the room with the jury during deliberations. 

 

 Alas, I did not have a smartphone at the time and did not get a picture of me holding said bag of cocaine. 

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jcbrown

jcbrown

I was forewoman of a jury for a civil suit years ago and the woman who was suing (it was a personal injury suit) had her doctor, who was approximately 101 years old, come out and basically read years worth of her medical records. Her attorney really failed to read the room--it took us less than an hour to deliberate because we were all so very tired of her and recognized that she was just trying to score some $$$.

Does Jill hope fo follow the Duggar tradition and get her own law degree just from sitting next to Dreck and watching him do homework and watch trials? I mean, it works that way for heavy equipment operation and home improvement, right?

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crazycatlady58

crazycatlady58

My aunt was on a jury years ago. It was a case of child abuse. They got to the jury room and the foreman looked around and said do you want to find him guilty now or order lunch? They ordered lunch and were still out in an hour and a half. They weren't rushing to judgment. He was definitely guilty. She said the facts were beyond awful. 

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floridamom

floridamom

You know what they say......the wheels of justice turn slowly.

Derick can pass the bar and become a lawyer in his state but never enter a courtroom. It depend on the area of law in which he wishes to practice in OR whatever firm hires him first...he would have to work the files that they give him. He also possibly may have to draw in his own clients and produce for the firm or he would be canned. I know how private practice works. If he's hired by the local government, it's a whole different ball game, the case files would be assigned to him, I believe.  Let's watch and wait!  I wonder how he will react to working with and FOR female attorneys who outrank him?

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lookeyloo

lookeyloo

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

You know what they say......the wheels of justice turn slowly.

Derick can pass the bar and become a lawyer in his state but never enter a courtroom. It depend on the area of law in which he wishes to practice in OR whatever firm hires him first...he would have to work the files that they give him. He also possibly may have to draw in his own clients and produce for the firm or he would be canned. I know how private practice works. If he's hired by the local government, it's a whole different ball game, the case files would be assigned to him, I believe.  Let's watch and wait!  I wonder how he will react to working with and FOR female attorneys who outrank him?

Once he’s licensed couldn’t he contract with one of the religious organizations at least to do some briefs, depositions?  Or some such thing where he isn’t in private practice or joins a law firm? 

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doodlebug

doodlebug

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Once he’s licensed couldn’t he contract with one of the religious organizations at least to do some briefs, depositions?  Or some such thing where he isn’t in private practice or joins a law firm? 

There are dozens of different options for a lawyer to pursue.  Most are not litigators and never see the inside of a courtroom their entire career.  Many don't even practice law or have jobs where a law degree is necessary; my sister is one of those.  Derick might well get hired by a conservative Christian organization to represent them.  He could work 'in house' meaning they would be his only employer or he could join a firm that provides legal assistance to such organizations and be employed by the firm.  Even with his assertion that he intends to represent those who've been taken advantage of, that doesn't mean he intends to represent them in court.  I have an attorney friend who works for an outfit that advocates for low income housing and she never goes to court.

My dad was on a jury once, he was foreman.  He said the case was pretty cut and dried and, when they were sent to deliberate at the end of the day; it was pretty obvious that a guilty verdict was coming.  As foreman, he laid out the options, they could vote immediately, the trial would be over and they'd all be home for dinner.  Or, since it was late in the day, they could spend an hour or so deliberating, break for dinner, then return the next morning and vote on the verdict.  Everyone would then get an extra 26 bucks from the county and, those with employers who compensated them for jury duty would have a nice free day (my dad was self employed, didn't matter to him).  They voted unanimously to deliberate for an hour and go home.  Next morning, several of his fellow jurors took him out to breakfast before they all headed home after giving their verdict an hour into the morning.

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