Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[BitterApple]

17 minutes ago, Zella said:

This is awful of me, but I wonder if Derick is doing this full well knowing it's probably going to push Jill off the deep end. 

My thought was it gives him the perfect excuse to spend the least amount of time at home as possible.

[Zella]

1 minute ago, BradandJanet said:

Consciously or unconsciously, he could be working out his anger at getting stuck in this marriage, despite its being entirely his own fault. Since divorce is an extreme option, he'd be stuck with her for a long time. I'm having disturbing thoughts about Andrea Yates, however. I wouldn't want to see anything happen to those kids. 

Yes, I'm concerned it might get really nasty and/or tragic since neither of them are very mature or emotionally stable, and there aren't any real options for escaping. 

1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

My thought was it gives him the perfect excuse to spend the least amount of time at home as possible.

Agreed! It's a socially acceptable way to avoid his family. 

[floridamom]

Decades ago, my husband attended law school. The student loans for 3 years were not cheap. Who is paying for Derick's law school education?

If themselves, how is it that they have tens of thousands of dollars for 3 years of school, books, etc? How are they going to earn their family's living expenses?

I'm so confused by DDD...first an accountant with WalMart, then he's a missionary, they a 'more properly trained' missionary from this church program he just 'graduated' from and now, as lawyer? Can anyone connect the dots here as to what actually IS his professional ambition?

Perhaps he will work along side Jim Bob's attorney, Storey, since he's a like-minded local Christian to Jill's family. JB would NEVER let Derick have all of the family financial secrets...he's not a blood relative. Heck, none of his adult kids have all the 'keys' to the kingdom either.

[humbleopinion]

Knock Knock: Who is it?

Brother Dreck here to consul and comfort you in your time of need.

We're Good....go away....

The church sent me over to pray with you and sit with you...

Nope...we prayed with the TV minister, sent a love offering to the 800 number and we feel better...

The Lord sent me over to help you...

Don't think so... if you don't leave my property gonna get my shotgun.......you got a count of 10...

10...9...8...7...

[Minivanessa]

20 minutes ago, Vaysh said:

 there's that shiny minister's license in his hands. I can't believe Cross Church is considered legit; this genuinely looks like a scam to me.

Cross Church is a legit, large, church of the Southern Baptist denomination. Its head pastor is a big cheese in the Southern Baptist Convention (the denomination's official national organization). This "ministry school" is simply a way to get guys who may hanker to be preachers, to pay $12,000 to hang out with and help the church's ministry staff. They call it a "residency" which makes it sound better than an internship.

I think that one could better spend the $12K and that year of one's life, in a real accredited college or seminary, studying and passing course work to prepare for the ministry. The best you can get from this is some credit hours at some schools, but I'd bet the rent that for $12K you'd be able to earn more credit hours from any of those schools. I suppose the lure of the Cross Church program is the networking opportunities; instead of just one among many seminary students, you're out there working in the field and have a chance to impress with your mad minister skilz. 

Derick's minister skills, honed by his missionary work in Danger America, and his year long residency at Cross Church (complete with certificate and license), have led him to  . . . law school.

Alrighty then.

ETA: the church is as legit as any church, but yeah the "ministry school" looks like a great benefit to the church and maybe not such a great deal for the "students." I'd stop short of calling it a scam but IMO it's definitely sketchy.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Jeeves

[Future Cat Lady]

I keep seeing comments that JB may be funding Derick’s education. In my opinion, there is no way in hell that that would happen. JB is anti-education. He wouldn’t pay for his own kids, so he certainly wouldn’t pay for his son in-law.

[Zella]

8 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I keep seeing comments that JB may be funding Derick’s education. In my opinion, there is no way in hell that that would happen. JB is anti-education. He wouldn’t pay for his own kids, so he certainly wouldn’t pay for his son in-law.

Agreed! I also suspect Derick is in the proverbial doghouse with the family. 

[Minivanessa]

12 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I keep seeing comments that JB may be funding Derick’s education. In my opinion, there is no way in hell that that would happen. JB is anti-education. He wouldn’t pay for his own kids, so he certainly wouldn’t pay for his son in-law.

I think JB must have been privately spluttering in disgust for the past year, over Derick's paying Cross Church $12,000 so he could be an intern a "resident" in their "school of ministry." I assume JB kept his opinion to himself, and after all this was all about Derick's being a minister and about Jesus and everything. Hard to argue against. But JB's got an eye for a bargain and I bet he didn't think this was a good one for Derick. I could be wrong, and JB coughed up some of the tuition, but somehow I don't see JB being all over the moon about it even if he chipped in.

Derick's not working for JB (like Ben) or off being an alpha male headship to a Duggar daughter wife (like Jeremy and Nostrils). Derick's this sad sack who keeps bouncing around from accountant to missionary to ministry resident to law student, apparently not under JB's control but not looking particularly focused or accomplished. AND getting into an ugly public fight with TLC (aka the Duggar Cash Cow) which booted him (and apparently Jill) off the show.

I wonder if JB ever regrets accepting Derick's request to be his "prayer partner" and introducing Derick to Jill. We'll never know if he does, though.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Jeeves

[bigskygirl]

Makes me wonder how many guys were sending in "requests" to court Jill before Deredick came down the turnpike. JB and Deredick both had motives when they thought of Jill getting together with Deredick. Jill thought she was in love *gag me* but she was more interested in having a guy pay attention to her, to cling to, and to play house and have babies with. Jilly Girl and Deredick should be use for getting to know someone really well before getting married and birth control advertising.

[Minivanessa]

40 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes, I'm concerned it might get really nasty and/or tragic since neither of them are very mature or emotionally stable, and there aren't any real options for escaping. 

@Zella - I agree. That's why I was relieved that Derick did graduate from that sketchy Cross Church program; at least they had something positive going on and it wasn't another frustrating situation for them to face. 

[MunichNark]

Law school? Bahahahahahahaha.......Derick's a perpetual student, never done, never knowing what he wants. We used to have quite a few of those here in Germany, until they introduced a (rather low) fee to go to University.

He clearly doesn't want any kid of responsibility at all, shouldn't have married, certainly should not have children. I feel so very sorry for those poor wee kiddies. I don't think he likes Jill much either.

I continue to marvel WHAT the useless Duggar parents actually taught their kids? None of the girls is able to actually BE a housewife. They have no skills at all. The boys, for the most part, seem to be lazy as sin as well.

Doubt very much he'll finish his course. And what use is a "Christian" lawyer exactly? There's the law. It's there. It's unchangeable. There is no gainsaying it, either you're right or you're wrong.

[Temperance]

6 hours ago, leighdear said:

But we have no idea what kind of mother Michelle was when it was just Josh, Jana & JD.  They were all toddlers at the same time, so she was probably at least moderately engaged, involved and present, as Jessa seems to be with her 2.  I thought the meltdowns we've heard about Michelle having seemed to kick in after she had at least 5-6 rugrats.  

Jessa could pop out another 2 or 3 and go as completely batshit crazy as her mom.  There's no way to do any real comparisons.  

By the time the twins (Jana and JD) were Henry's age (18 months), Michelle had given birth to Jill already. When Jill was 18 months she gave birth to Jessa. Jessa is 13 months older than Jinger and Jinger is about 13? months older than Joe.  My point is there wasn't too much time with just 3 kids. 

Edited August 12, 2018 by Temperance

[Lunera]

Oops double post. I left the IG link up since some of comments are funny.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Lunera

[ginger90]

This video is about 6 minutes long. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch, but I did, so I’m sharing ?

 

 

[Wishing Well]

Jeremy has a photo of himself cuddling Felicity while studying.  While I have no doubt he posed it, I also have no doubt that he genuinely wants to take care of his daughter and loves her, based on the way he treated his wife and baby in the last year or so. Derick’s going to lose it when he’s 2 hours away from having to turn something in and there’s a kid wanting to play with him.

[Nysha]

5 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I think that one could better spend the $12K and that year of one's life, in a real accredited college or seminary, studying and passing course work to prepare for the ministry.

His worthless degree cost about the same as one year of Ministerial Masters classes at Crown College. He could have gotten a biblical certificate for half the price and probably learn more than he did paying for an internship at his church. Talk about a racket! Any church I've been to would be overjoyed to have dedicated unpaid volunteers, this one charges suckers for it.

[DragonFaerie]

21 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

This video is about 6 minutes long. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch, but I did, so I’m sharing ?

 

 

 

So I watched the video.  It's Jill and Boob flying off to meet Derick for the first time.  Near the end of the clip they do TH with some of the family.  Jana actually something like, even for a Duggar this is pretty crazy.  But the best is a TH of Jennifer and Jordyn and Jennifer says that they flew over to see if Derick is a great guy.  Jordyn says quickly and I had to play it a couple of times, he's not and sort of shakes her head.  Jordyn is definitely the psychic of the group or the only one that can read people correctly, although it looks like Jana wasn't on board with this guy either.  Meanwhile, can NO ONE brush the lost girl's hair?

[tabloidlover]

Just watched the video and WOW, just WOW.   Jill has aged a good 15 years in the last what, 5 years?   Marriage has not been kind to her.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Lunera said:

Oops double post. I left the IG link up since some of comments are funny.

The family actually looks really nice here. Their ensembles are cohesive and the adults are smiling. 

[Mollie]

1 hour ago, Lunera said:

After three years, Derick is still wearing braces and his teeth are not centered under his nose.  The guy is off kiltered.

[xwordfanatik]

4 minutes ago, Mollie said:

After three years, Derick is still wearing braces and his teeth are not centered under his nose.  The guy is off kiltered.

In more ways than one, it seems.

What a sad video.  Jordyn's always going to be my favorite.  I can only hope they aren't able to squish all her individuality out of her.  

[DragonFaerie]

9 minutes ago, Mollie said:

After three years, Derick is still wearing braces and his teeth are not centered under his nose.  The guy is off kiltered.

Perhaps no one has told him that they need to be adjusted quite regularly.  Oh wait, many of the Duggars have had braces, so they're experts.  No need to go back and follow the orthodonists rules.

[MonicaM]

35 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

Just watched the video and WOW, just WOW.   Jill has aged a good 15 years in the last what, 5 years?   Marriage has not been kind to her.

She was arrogant and obnoxious then, and remains so today.  No wonder she thinks smug, condescending, holier than thou Dreck is the best hubby ever.

[Trillium]

I wonder if they’ll just never mention law school on social media because then they can avoid answering how they can afford it, especially since the whole family has been such dicks about student loans and debt in the past. Also if he flames out he can act like it never happened. 

 

Jill has no idea what’s coming. She’s probably thinking it won’t be all that much different than his ministry program, maybe a little more work. She has no frame of reference to understand what real academia is like, and law school is next level intense. I can’t see her being super chill going from seeing her spouse basically all the time to maybe seeing him for an hour if that. It’s kinda a bummer they’re not on the show anymore, the dynamic of their relationship once he starts school would be the most interesting they’ve even been.

 

I’d feel sorry for them if they weren’t such smug assholes, but all their misery is self inflicted. 

[Christina87]

I actually felt sad for them when JB and Jill said that even if they didn't like Derick, it was the longest time they'd ever be alone in their lives. That is such a profound statement, and really put it in perspective how little time they get together! And I mean technically, sure, I may not spend a week or however long it was consecutively alone with my dad ever in my life, unless we make a big trip like that. Still, if I take the individual occasions I am alone with either my mom or my dad and add them up, it would be well, well over a week each! For Jill and the others, they probably never get alone time with either parent, except for a few super specific occasions (going to get their drivers license, maaaaaybe being taken to the doctor, standing in front of the church getting ready to walk down the aisle, etc). I spend a lot of alone time with each of my parents...dinners or errands with my mom usually, and day trips with my dad...and it's sad to think of never getting to do that!

Edited August 12, 2018 by Christina87

[DragonFaerie]

I don't suppose TLC could ask a few of the older boys and Jana in a TH, "Hey, we hear Derick is going to law school.  So how's that working out?"  And film them all laughing hysterically.  Meanwhile from off camera you hear Jilly Bean, "It's not Funny!  He's going to figure it out and be the #bestlawyerever!  Yeeeaahhh!"

[cmr2014]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

This video is about 6 minutes long. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch, but I did, so I’m sharing ?

 

 

So I watched it -- it was like 6 minutes of waving red flags.

Derick was going to be back in the US in a few months. What was the rush -- oh TV ratings.

Jill was clearly infatuated with the idea of having a missionary boyfriend. They video-chatted for a few months and never spoke about anything except Jesus, missionary life, and Jill's courtship questions, then JB agreed to a courtship -- which is essentially an engagement in their world.

I lay this all -- 100% on JB and J'chelle. Jill had no friends, and virtually no contact with the outside world growing up. She has no relationship skills -- no ability to read people and situations, no ability to negotiate and compromise with others. If she had been raised by wolves, she would have had a better skill-set for choosing a spouse.

She was raised to believe that a magical God would choose a life partner for her and send cosmic messages to JB telling him who had been selected. There is no part in this where Jill believed -- or was expected to believe -- that she had any responsibility.

[DragonFaerie]

4 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

For Jill and the others, they probably never get alone time with either parent, except for a few super specific occasions (going to get their drivers license, maaaaaybe being taken to the doctor, standing in front of the church getting ready to walk down the aisle, etc)

Well I think it was Jill or Derick who posted a pic where they were with James, Jill's little buddy, getting his learner's permit or something.  Jessa was show with her little buddy at the dentist, and then time at the end of the aisle? Boob has been too busy complementing J'chelle on how beautiful SHE is.  It's really sad.

[MORGANH]

You know, all of these “career” changes of Derjerk’s finally helped me make the connection of where I’ve seen this before.  Let’s see, Der’s been on a reality show, an accountant, a student, a missionary, and now he has enrolled in law school.

Does anyone remember Captain Casey from M*A*S*H*? (Ok, I’ve been around a while). Anyway, before he was caught unlicensed, he was passing himself off as an excellent surgeon, priest, teacher, laywer and engineer. His explanation was that he didn’t have the patience to complete the degree and get the certficate. So he just studied hard and tried not to get caught. I know, I know, It was a fiction show , but there was no social media at the time, so he could fool people for a time. And and then he would move onto another unit and pick up a new profession. One day an excellent surgeon and the next day he became a pastor (with no huge deal made) after someone discovered that he was faking it due to checking his record for need of a blood donation (I know, crazy odd plot point coupled with suspended belief). Anyway, it just makes me laugh when I think of some of the similarities.

Also, back to reality. I just find it crazy odd that none of the online gossip sites, you know, the ones that make up Duggar news just for clicks, have reported Derjer’s news. How is it that none of them that I can see have not reported on the law school admission? None of them?  They even ran pieces on Jill’s food blog glop. And speculation of who might be interested in courting next.  Maybe I missed some articles but this is just so odd. Waiting for a People exclusive I understand, but those other sites? They don’t care. They’ll print anything.  I still smell some kind of plan/strategy or an agreement not to discuss.  Usually law school acceptance is a huge deal. Duggarland is busy elsewhere. I’m thinking it will hugely hurt their brand once they discover silence is not always golden. 

Oh to be a fly....

[kcrabtree06]

Good luck with Jilly and law school Derick. I currently have first hand experience with this (my fiancé is about to start 3L and we live together.) I am pretty sure during finals my fiancé does NOT leave his office/study room at our house unless it's to go to school to take a final. I am lucky if he even showers during that time. My fiancé also goes to a law school that is ranked the same as the University of Arkansas. If U of A is anything like the law school my fiancé attends, your whole grade pretty much depends on finals and she will have to get used to pretty much being ignored at finals time. If not or if Derick doesn't set boundaries then, that will be a problem.

[Zella]

1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

So I watched it -- it was like 6 minutes of waving red flags.

Derick was going to be back in the US in a few months. What was the rush -- oh TV ratings.

Jill was clearly infatuated with the idea of having a missionary boyfriend. They video-chatted for a few months and never spoke about anything except Jesus, missionary life, and Jill's courtship questions, then JB agreed to a courtship -- which is essentially an engagement in their world.

I lay this all -- 100% on JB and J'chelle. Jill had no friends, and virtually no contact with the outside world growing up. She has no relationship skills -- no ability to read people and situations, no ability to negotiate and compromise with others. If she had been raised by wolves, she would have had a better skill-set for choosing a spouse.

She was raised to believe that a magical God would choose a life partner for her and send cosmic messages to JB telling him who had been selected. There is no part in this where Jill believed -- or was expected to believe -- that she had any responsibility.

100% agree! 

Since I don't watch the show, I don't often see the Duggars in action. Whenever I do, though, I am always taken aback by how obviously sheltered and immature they are. If I didn't know Jill was in her early 20s in that video, I would have just assumed she was about 12. It's grossly irresponsible of her parents to have sheltered her like that and then okay such a whirlwind courtship and engagement to some guy she didn't know. 

[LilJen]

Here's a thought. Maybe. . . Derick will relaunch Dillard Family Ministries, as he is now a "licensed minister." As a self-employed licensed minister, he claims his law school tuition as job-related expenses and deduct from taxes. . . because he has been called to the ministry of changing the laws of this land to conform to God's word (KJV only, mind you).

[Marthalord]

Wow. I forgot about that clip. JB, Michelle and Jana all said that Jill was “in love” with someone she’s never met before. Duggars, please tell me, how is this obeying the Bible’s command of guarding your heart and not awakening love before its due time?? She had never f****** met him yet she loved him. Not even in the heathen world does it happen like that!! Practice what you preach hypocrites.

[Minivanessa]

1 hour ago, MORGANH said:

Also, back to reality. I just find it crazy odd that none of the online gossip sites, you know, the ones that make up Duggar news just for clicks, have reported Derjer’s news. How is it that none of them that I can see have not reported on the law school admission? None of them?  They even ran pieces on Jill’s food blog glop. And speculation of who might be interested in courting next.  Maybe I missed some articles but this is just so odd. Waiting for a People exclusive I understand, but those other sites? They don’t care. They’ll print anything.  I still smell some kind of plan/strategy or an agreement not to discuss.  Usually law school acceptance is a huge deal. Duggarland is busy elsewhere. I’m thinking it will hugely hurt their brand once they discover silence is not always golden. 

Oh to be a fly....

It's no secret, it's all over the innernets, since last month.

In Touch has it covered. So has The Inquistr (or however they misspell it).

Starcasm ran a story last month. I think somebody upthread posted a photo from that story. 

Other gossip sites have also mentioned it. 

Edited August 13, 2018 by Jeeves

[MORGANH]

12 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

It's no secret, it's all over the innernets, since last month.

In Touch has it covered. So has The Inquistr (or however they misspell it).

Starcasm ran a story last month. I think somebody upthread posted a photo from that story. 

Other gossip sites have also mentioned it. 

Thanks Jeeves! I’ll chalk that up to my cray cray?

[Minivanessa]

Just now, MORGANH said:

Thanks Jeeves! I’ll chalk that up to my cray cray?

Well, it's not like it was covered by the NY Times, lol!

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, Marthalord said:

Wow. I forgot about that clip. JB, Michelle and Jana all said that Jill was “in love” with someone she’s never met before. Duggars, please tell me, how is this obeying the Bible’s command of guarding your heart and not awakening love before its due time?? She had never f****** met him yet she loved him. Not even in the heathen world does it happen like that!! Practice what you preach hypocrites.

Because Jesus laid it on her heart and brought him to her, and JimBlob said it was OK. Or some shit. 

[galaxychaser]

3 hours ago, Mollie said:

After three years, Derick is still wearing braces and his teeth are not centered under his nose.  The guy is off kiltered.

Tom Cruise has something similar.  Center tooth cannot unsee. 

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=tom+cruise+center+tooth&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#imgrc=BedDGIcu4Akg2M:

[QuinnInND]

Praying for what, pray tell? 

[MORGANH]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Well, it's not like it was covered by the NY Times, lol!

You are very kind! 

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

Praying for what, pray tell? 

Straight teeth? 

[galaxychaser]

2 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Praying for what, pray tell? 

Free $$$$

[GeeGolly]

I'm a tad impressed. Meeting with other women is about the most normal worldly behavior Jill has displayed. Jessa and Joy don't appear to hang out with anyone outside their family or the Gothard crowd.

It's like Jinger is quietly going Fundy-lite with tasteful posts and pretty clothes and Jill is fumbling away from Gothard with disgusting recipes and ill fitting pants. Joy appears to be full-on Gothard doing construction in skirts and Jessa spends her days in the mold house or the TTH. Jinger and Jill are the winners in at least trying to live life a "little differently" than JB & M.

With that said I imagine Jill's cards for the children she prayed for included, a heart for God and serving others, obeying parents and meeting a Godly spouse.

[ginger90]

7 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Praying for what, pray tell? 

About half the comments are asking how to do this, and what a great idea it is. The other half is a mixture between when is Derick getting a job, and people arguing with them. Just like her recipe posts.

[Minivanessa]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm a tad impressed. Meeting with other women is about the most normal worldly behavior Jill has displayed. Jessa and Joy don't appear to hang out with anyone outside their family or the Gothard crowd.

I remember Jill posting a photo somewhere on social media of her sitting in a circle of women who were studying some religious-based book about marriage. I think it was a Bible study women's group. And this was some time ago, after she was married but I think before Izzy was born. 

I saw Derick's influence at work there. He didn't grow up attending his family's own "in home church" or living in isolation, and I suppose the fellowship and activities of his church were something he enjoyed. I also saw his influence on Jill in their early marriage in other ways. She posted on social media back then, a photo of herself (and I think Derick too) watching a Dave Ramsey video. For those who don't know, Ramsey teaches personal money management and is Christian/conservative enough to be palatable to evangelicals. 

I saw those activities as coming from Derick's discovery that Jill needed a lot of catching up to her age group - in socialization and many other life skills and experiences. I believe he didn't have a clue until they got married, how sheltered and ignorant she was. I think he assumed that she'd be a lot like the young women he'd grown up going to church, school, and college with. Those young women by age 24 had developed skills in negotiating life that Jill had no clue about. They acquired those skills by living ordinary non-sequestered lives involving church, school, and probably jobs, as well as extracurricular activities and hobbies.

I think Derick tried, early in their marriage, to bring Jill up to speed. He encouraged her to join a women's Bible study group at church. He exposed her to Dave Ramsey's money management courses. I recall that at one point, he said that he and Jill were both doing some kind of "seminary" courses, but he quickly went radio silent on that. I think that's when it hit him that she just had nothing like the level of education that he'd assumed she had. Then he encouraged her to complete that sketchy "lay midwife" course; she took and passed the certification test from that organization, although she never followed through to get her state license. 

Derick's a jerk, but he tried to widen Jill's horizons. I think some of his bitterness and anger that has erupted in the more recent past, may be related to his frustrations in adjusting to the reality of who he married vs. who he thought he was marrying. And the life he'd hoped for vs. the life he has.

As to where they are now and where they are going? I think his Cross Church "ministry school" involved her in some of his outreach activities and that she probably handled them better than, say, Jessa would have. Maybe the last year or so in Arkansas, once again living very close to her home base, she feels more secure and won't be as clingy as she used to be. I can't tell from her social media posts as discussed here, how much time Derick has been gone from home during the day. I assume he had to spend some significant time at his ministry school activities, not all of which Jill could share. 

Edited August 13, 2018 by Jeeves
words and punctuation

[sigmaforce86]

14 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

So I watched it -- it was like 6 minutes of waving red flags.

Derick was going to be back in the US in a few months. What was the rush -- oh TV ratings.

Jill was clearly infatuated with the idea of having a missionary boyfriend. They video-chatted for a few months and never spoke about anything except Jesus, missionary life, and Jill's courtship questions, then JB agreed to a courtship -- which is essentially an engagement in their world.

I lay this all -- 100% on JB and J'chelle. Jill had no friends, and virtually no contact with the outside world growing up. She has no relationship skills -- no ability to read people and situations, no ability to negotiate and compromise with others. If she had been raised by wolves, she would have had a better skill-set for choosing a spouse.

She was raised to believe that a magical God would choose a life partner for her and send cosmic messages to JB telling him who had been selected. There is no part in this where Jill believed -- or was expected to believe -- that she had any responsibility.

They say hindsight is 20/20 but knowing what we know now and seeing this years later........can you imagine how Jill saw this?  She was finally getting attention from a man, she had a guy daddy approved of, she had the attention of Mom and Dad watching her courtship plus the chaperone requirements that went with that.  She had TLC giving her first class coverage of the whole thing where she was a separate person not just one of the group of kids.  And she gets to go out of the country on TLC's dime traveling with just JB not a herd of Duggars where she has to work packing for and babysitting the youngers instead of just enjoying the trip.  Camera's attention on her, a potential Husbands attention on her, her Father's attention on her alone.  I'm imagining how that could go to her head considering how sheltered and uneducated she was; how good it might have felt to have all eyes on her alone for once.  Wrapped up in all of that how easy was it for her to mistake "attention" for "love" I wonder?  

Of course she's made little effort to expand her world since then but she's done what she was trained to do, follow her husband at all times while being adoring towards him, always agreeing with him and popping out kids. 

[cereality]

Derick is going to law school at U Arkansas. Damn. Didn’t see that coming. If you’re Josh or Josiah how jealous are you right now - they couldn’t/weren’t allowed to be a lawyer or accountant respectively, but it’s ok for a son in law.

[Jynnan tonnix]

19 minutes ago, sigmaforce86 said:

They say hindsight is 20/20 but knowing what we know now and seeing this years later........can you imagine how Jill saw this?  She was finally getting attention from a man, she had a guy daddy approved of, she had the attention of Mom and Dad watching her courtship plus the chaperone requirements that went with that.  She had TLC giving her first class coverage of the whole thing where she was a separate person not just one of the group of kids.  And she gets to go out of the country on TLC's dime traveling with just JB not a herd of Duggars where she has to work packing for and babysitting the youngers instead of just enjoying the trip.  Camera's attention on her, a potential Husbands attention on her, her Father's attention on her alone.  I'm imagining how that could go to her head considering how sheltered and uneducated she was; how good it might have felt to have all eyes on her alone for once.  Wrapped up in all of that how easy was it for her to mistake "attention" for "love" I wonder?  

Of course she's made little effort to expand her world since then but she's done what she was trained to do, follow her husband at all times while being adoring towards him, always agreeing with him and popping out kids. 

I don't actually think that she is unhappy - or at least doesn't recognize it if she is. Between all the training in "keeping sweet", being taught that dissatisfaction and anger are sins, and trusting that whatever hand she is dealt is the best possible one for her because of "God's plan", she may very well honestly believe that her life is blissful. In some ways it's not a bad approach to life as far as dealing with disappointments and moving on, but when it blinds you to the fact that you were never given any options toward building a truly satisfying life, it's all sorts of tragic.

[3 is enough]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

She posted on social media back then, a photo of herself (and I think Derick too) watching a Dave Ramsey video. For those who don't know, Ramsey teaches personal money management and is Christian/conservative enough to be palatable to evangelicals. 

If I recall correctly, Jim Bob and Michelle talked about following Dave Ramsey's program in the early years of the show, when they were all about "buy used and save the difference".  I don't think Derick can take credit for that one.

It is kinda sad how at the beginning everyone was thrilled that Jill was marrying a guy who graduated from a 4 year university, and appeared to be much less rigid in his beliefs.  What a difference 4 years makes.  It's like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

 

Good luck to Jill as Derick starts law school.  It's going to be interesting to see how she handles being placed on the back burner for 3 years.  

Edited August 13, 2018 by 3 is enough

[lascuba]

I hate saying anything positive about Jill, but I think she's always been an outgoing, friendly person and so didn't need Derick to encourage her to join study groups and make friends. She's always been the most sincerely enthusiastic in the THs, even as a child (she, Josh, and Josiah were the family/Gothard cheerleaders in a way that none of the other kids are), and I can easily see her introducing herself to women at a new church and happily joining groups. She's very much her parents' child, and those two have no problem having total strangers in their home for "fellowshipping."