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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Don't you have to be in an actual, romantic relationship with someone in order to have a long distance relationship? I thought courting was just getting to know someone? Skyping with Mommy and Daddy babysitting you nearby doesn't mean shit. How can that even be considered romantic? Sorry, Jilly Muffin, but that's not a relationship. When it comes down to it, Derick was the the only person that made Jill tingly "down there" and she LUSTED after him. How sinful! But bitch is delusional as hell and considers this LOVE.

 

Yeah, but the Duggar kids have no way of knowing that. They don't have any friends to talk to, except a few "long distance relationship" "friends" that they see super-occasionally (with full chaperonage) who have been brainwashed into the same delusions they have, they don't read or explore the internet or watch tv or movies, and since birth they've been constantly pumped full of the notion that their parents' way actually is what love and relationships are all about. Plus, their family has been given a prominent tv show -- and they've been told by their parents that this is because of how wonderful their "principles" are and how important to God it is that these ideas be spread across the world -- and they have at least hundreds of thousands of fans who are constantly writing on the internet about how the Duggar way is the perfect way and God's way.  Plus, as I think has been clearly established by now, they (or at least the ones we've seen attain teenagerhood and beyond at this point) just aren't very bright. So how would they ever know that this stuff they believe is wrong? Yeah, Jill is delusional, but I find it really difficult -- impossible, actually -- to blame her for that. Under the circumstances, I don't see how she could possibly be otherwise.

Edited by Churchhoney
  • Love 9
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This is just one more post that underlines my complete confusion about "courting". These are arranged marriages. We know they're arranged, and yet all of the folks in them are somehow obligated to blog ad nauseum (emphasis on the nausea) about how 110%-over-the-moon-you-sinners-especially-teh-gays-could-never-possibly-understand in love they are. Is it the teenage mentality that the cult encourages? Over the top delight in finally being able to acknowledge sexual impulses? I'm lost here. 

 

I think that it's the over the top delight you mention, plus the fact that these people are very very young-teenager-like because they're so sheltered from the world and so focused on purity and are required to see everything in black and white, plus the idea that when you're in one of these godly arrangements it's your duty to loudly advertise to the world how great and perfect it is so that everybody else will know and realize that they should follow suit.

 

The carrying on about the relationships doesn't strike me as being much different from the equally over-the-top endless carrying on they do about all their other little Gothard-y stuff, like the endless harping about everything being a new "precious" "season of life" and how every single one of them has a "heart for the Lord" and a "servant's heart." They never talk about anything normally. Pretty much every topic has some saccharine, over-the-top phrases attached to it that they just say over and over and over again. Like the 100-percent interchangeable and yet still ridiculously overblown birthday wishes they give. I doubt that any of them is even capable of normal talk about anything. They've certainly never heard normal talk. And they're constantly coached and pushed to talk just like their parents -- and the wonderful leaders at the various Gothard-indoctrination camps -- I'm sure.

  • Love 5
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This is just one more post that underlines my complete confusion about "courting". These are arranged marriages. We know they're arranged, and yet all of the folks in them are somehow obligated to blog ad nauseum (emphasis on the nausea) about how 110%-over-the-moon-you-sinners-especially-teh-gays-could-never-possibly-understand in love they are. Is it the teenage mentality that the cult encourages? Over the top delight in finally being able to acknowledge sexual impulses? I'm lost here.

I think it's all of those, and the weird Gothard idea of "the one God has for you," which is a code phrase for "whoever Daddy can make a deal with." Well, I say it's a code phrase but it's not that, not to them. They believe, or are trying to sell that they believe, that God has chosen their spouses specifically for them, and their obedience in accepting God's choice for them and conducting their pure spiritual courtship guarantees that they'll be wildly in love and have mad hot sex 4-ever. And they want to believe it, because what else do they have?

  • Love 9
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I'm sure they're all horribly lonely. But they don't know that that's what they feel. I mean, how could they be lonely when they're so utterly surrounded at all times by the greatest family on earth? And all the misunderstood and unacknowledged feelings that they have are just going to bite them in the ass again and again, in different ways, depending on their different underlying personalities. It's extremely sad. I had a similar upbringing, differing mainly in that, because I went to school I was allowed to read some books, and I'll be a hideous social misfit and emotional cripple until my dying day because of it. When you add the "no reading" thing plus the exquisitely evil delusions of the reality-tv life that the Duggs have also experienced, there's no way they aren't sick, hopeless messes in pretty much every way you can be. And it's all very well to say, 'Well, now they're grown up it all becomes their own responsibility and they should snap out of it,' but that's like telling a Chinese foot-binding victim that she should just get regular-shaped feet now that she's mature. That door has closed.

Churchhoney, you are so right.  We talked on the Jana thread that "why doesn't she leave?"  Well, how would she accomplish that?  Even if she wanted. Same with the others.  They have no real knowledge of the evil outside world.  They have no source of income.  The idea of a shelter or finding friends they can trust to stay with is beyond their capabilities, I think.  The outside culture is foreign to them.  Add in their limited education and and exposure to the way of life outside the compound, indeed that door has closed.  Yes, I know some do escape, but, I don't think they will.

  • Love 7
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I think that it's the over the top delight you mention, plus the fact that these people are very very young-teenager-like because they're so sheltered from the world and so focused on purity and are required to see everything in black and white, plus the idea that when you're in one of these godly arrangements it's your duty to loudly advertise to the world how great and perfect it is so that everybody else will know and realize that they should follow suit.

 

The carrying on about the relationships doesn't strike me as being much different from the equally over-the-top endless carrying on they do about all their other little Gothard-y stuff, like the endless harping about everything being a new "precious" "season of life" and how every single one of them has a "heart for the Lord" and a "servant's heart." They never talk about anything normally. Pretty much every topic has some saccharine, over-the-top phrases attached to it that they just say over and over and over again. Like the 100-percent interchangeable and yet still ridiculously overblown birthday wishes they give. I doubt that any of them is even capable of normal talk about anything. They've certainly never heard normal talk. And they're constantly coached and pushed to talk just like their parents -- and the wonderful leaders at the various Gothard-indoctrination camps -- I'm sure.

All of the social media birthday wishes are so annoyingly, saccharine and The Same! They claim not to Google themselves; but now they suddenly describe Justin as a great mechanic! I don't remember any other kid having such a personalized birthday wish.

https://instagram.com/p/-HwyC3Lsw2/

Juddy Buddy

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DuggarFamilyBlog/~3/zOMPxxX1_RU/duggar-14-turns-13.html

  • Love 5
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He wants to be a mechanic?  That is great but I just hope that is true.  I hope he didn't have to pick from a short list of Gothard "start your own business" vocations and thought "this will do."  Happy belated Justin.  Here is to you escaping one day and doing what you really really want to do.

  • Love 6
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I'm sure they're all horribly lonely. But they don't know that that's what they feel. I mean, how could they be lonely when they're so utterly surrounded at all times by the greatest family on earth? And all the misunderstood and unacknowledged feelings that they have are just going to bite them in the ass again and again, in different ways, depending on their different underlying personalities. It's extremely sad. I had a similar upbringing, differing mainly in that, because I went to school I was allowed to read some books, and I'll be a hideous social misfit and emotional cripple until my dying day because of it. When you add the "no reading" thing plus the exquisitely evil delusions of the reality-tv life that the Duggs have also experienced, there's no way they aren't sick, hopeless messes in pretty much every way you can be. And it's all very well to say, 'Well, now they're grown up it all becomes their own responsibility and they should snap out of it,' but that's like telling a Chinese foot-binding victim that she should just get regular-shaped feet now that she's mature. That door has closed.

This post is empathetic and insightful, Churchhoney. And, for what it's worth, I consider you an integral part of these Duggar discussions, knowledgeable and quick on the uptake. To me, your emotional IQ makes you a great fit here. Want you to know that. :)

I really don't understand the life of the Dillards right now. Are they on a permanent vacation?

  • Love 20
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Can you imagine having to be one of the other girls, trying to sleep in that hideous shared room, while Jill sniveled into a t-shirt all night, because she was lonely for a guy she barely knew.

I cannot imagine how (or better yet why) Jill came to own Derrick's t-shirt, especially after knowing him for just one week. Did she slyly sneak it out of his dirty laundry or did Derrick gallantly present it to her as a token of his affection? Was the shirt proffered by Derrick to Jill in hopes that she would not forget him? Or did Jill spirit it away like a 10 year old swipes her crush's favorite eraser from his desk at school. Once Jill had the t-shirt how was she not just (cough) comforted by it? Even a puppy does not take two months to calm down in his grow box when he sleeps with a t-shirt containing the mom dog's scent.

  • Love 12
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I cannot imagine how (or better yet why) Jill came to own Derrick's t-shirt, especially after knowing him for just one week. Did she slyly sneak it out of his dirty laundry or did Derrick gallantly present it to her as a token of his affection? Was the shirt proffered by Derrick to Jill in hopes that she would not forget him? Or did Jill spirit it away like a 10 year old swipes her crush's favorite eraser from his desk at school. Once Jill had the t-shirt how was she not just (cough) comforted by it? Even a puppy does not take two months to calm down in his grow box when he sleeps with a t-shirt containing the mom dog's scent.

 

I suspect that the loneliness of a Duggar goes way beyond just missing some individual person. I expect that, although she didn't know it, she was crying less over Derick and more over the fact that, for the first time in her life, she'd had a serious taste of getting to know and enjoy being with some non-family member, somebody not speaking Duggar-speak but acting and talking with some spontaneity, somebody who responded to her with sexual and emotional attraction, and somebody who seemed to like her as an individual and not only as someone with a highly interchangeable heart for the Lord. I expect that first taste of knowing and being liked by somebody outside the clan touched a very deep hunger for connection and relationship in her and -- without realizing it -- she was actually terrified that she might still lose it and never glimpse it again and that's why she cried for months.

  • Love 19
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I think Jill was indeed very lonely. It appears she wasn't trusted and possibly not liked by her siblings other then the ones she raised because she was the goody goody snitch. I also think she was under a lot of pressure (and hormones) to make a match. Part of the crying in the pillow distress may have been compounded by her fear that Derick may have not followed through with a marriage proposal.

  • Love 9
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I think Jill was indeed very lonely. It appears she wasn't trusted and possibly not liked by her siblings other then the ones she raised because she was the goody goody snitch. I also think she was under a lot of pressure (and hormones) to make a match. Part of the crying in the pillow distress may have been compounded by her fear that Derick may have not followed through with a marriage proposal.

Especially if you consider the "snitch" reputation and distancing may have started with the Josh scandal. I really cannot imagine a more lonely childhood.

  • Love 9
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Yeah, but the Duggar kids have no way of knowing that. They don't have any friends to talk to, except a few "long distance relationship" "friends" that they see super-occasionally (with full chaperonage) who have been brainwashed into the same delusions they have, they don't read or explore the internet or watch tv or movies, and since birth they've been constantly pumped full of the notion that their parents' way actually is what love and relationships are all about. Plus, their family has been given a prominent tv show -- and they've been told by their parents that this is because of how wonderful their "principles" are and how important to God it is that these ideas be spread across the world -- and they have at least hundreds of thousands of fans who are constantly writing on the internet about how the Duggar way is the perfect way and God's way.  Plus, as I think has been clearly established by now, they (or at least the ones we've seen attain teenagerhood and beyond at this point) just aren't very bright. So how would they ever know that this stuff they believe is wrong? Yeah, Jill is delusional, but I find it really difficult -- impossible, actually -- to blame her for that. Under the circumstances, I don't see how she could possibly be otherwise.

This reminds me of what I perceived being done to Justin Bieber a few years ago, before he went off the rails. He was on some afternoon talk show, he was around 17, and everything he said was met with wild applause and cheers from the audience and praise from the host. And he wasn't saying anything of any substance or insight. How could he? He was just a kid. But he was being made to believe he was someone SO special and I knew then that he was getting screwed up in the head. I've thought something similar about the Duggar kids - they're getting all of this attention just because they're a big family, and they're told that means God favors them. 

  • Love 10
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Just watched the Izzy on the blanket videos. Just what are the Dillards doing down there? Did anyone notice Jill's "very nice manicure and nail polish"? I thought being a missionary was a selfless job with plenty of hands on work. I couldn't keep my nails like that when my son was born because of all the washing I was doing. Hands in water most of the time, cleaning, etc. How is it that her floors are so shiny and clean? Does she have a housekeeper AND a nanny too? Still with all the postings, videos, Spanish lessons and shopping at the local markets, just how much time IS LEFT to actual missionary "work"? These two are just lazy, IMO, especially derickdillard. He was drifting in Nepal after college and seems to like that lifestyle the best as far as I can tell. I bet he couldn't cut it at WalMart, you know, that 40 hour week and all...he's happier drifting through the days doing whatever. I'm quite tired of Jill and Derick and don't really want to see MORE of them on this sorry TV spin off to come.

I also hop that she isn't traditionally blanket training Izzy and hitting the kid when he gets off the blanket. It's not fair to "set up babies" and then inflict pain on them when they don't comply.

  • Love 11
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Although the Dullards are a needless drain on their North American benefactors, as tourists/consumers they are a positive influence on the Guatemalan economy.

Jill and Derick can probably paint each other's nails and Izzy's too considering how much free time they have. Maybe he developed a taste for mani-pedis during hour 20 of Jill's "labour".

1627gb6.jpg

Edited by Kokapetl
  • Love 1
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https://instagram.com/p/-KRmSprs-3/TheDullards are kissing.

Jealous of baby Spurgeon on People?

https://instagram.com/p/-KRmSprs-3/I'll try the link again. It's Jill's Instagram.

 

It seems weird to post the lyrics of a children's lullaby alongside a (very lackluster!) picture of you kissing your husband. It would be appropriate for a picture Izzy, but not for Derick.  It's actually slightly creepy, IMO, especially the "please don't take my sunshine away," part. Is Derick planning his escape? LOL!

Edited by Guest
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I thought "You Are my Sunshine" was about Jesus. (Kidding. Anyone else remember how Debbie Boone insisted that "You Light Up My Life" was about God? Heck, maybe it was, but her over the top rendition seemed a tad...passionate.)

ETA: nope, I just googled the lyrics. She was full of it. But I seem to recall that Daddy Pat expected her to be a virgin. How Duggary!

Edited by Tabbygirl521
  • Love 1
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This is just one more post that underlines my complete confusion about "courting". These are arranged marriages. We know they're arranged, and yet all of the folks in them are somehow obligated to blog ad nauseum (emphasis on the nausea) about how 110%-over-the-moon-you-sinners-especially-teh-gays-could-never-possibly-understand in love they are. Is it the teenage mentality that the cult encourages? Over the top delight in finally being able to acknowledge sexual impulses? I'm lost here. 

I think part of the confusion is that we see 20 something year old adults doing these things. If we inserted (for imagination only) a 13 year old, all these behaviors would seem so normal. Everything at 13 is a BIG deal. Everyone is THE one. We all try and make sense of it using our lenses, most of which don't see Gothard or Duggar.

 

I'm not sure intercourse is what they want - they are just spouting the company line. Kissing & holding hands maybe, but sex is shoved in their faces as something they should want so bad that they can't be trusted to kiss without falling into someone's pants.

  • Love 8
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Imagine if Jilly Muffin had her heart broken. Jill has the mind of a 12yo. The fun die lifestyle did nothing for her. Now imagine if God forbid derrick dies or divorces her. What will she do? What if derrick was in the army, or policeman? He would be away a lot.

 

Ok I know this was probably an auto-correct thing but the space in between these two words made me laugh.

  • Love 6
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Jill is possibly pregnant again. There was an alleged announcement on the Duggar Facebook page, but it's gone now. I guess we shall see. No surprise if she is. This girl doesn't know how to listen to medical advice.

None of us are shocked because what else do they do all day except sweet fellowship with each other? Give it another month those two will be home and done with their mission work.

Edited by Fuzzysox
  • Love 4
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I cannot imagine how (or better yet why) Jill came to own Derrick's t-shirt, especially after knowing him for just one week. Did she slyly sneak it out of his dirty laundry or did Derrick gallantly present it to her as a token of his affection? Was the shirt proffered by Derrick to Jill in hopes that she would not forget him? Or did Jill spirit it away like a 10 year old swipes her crush's favorite eraser from his desk at school. Once Jill had the t-shirt how was she not just (cough) comforted by it? Even a puppy does not take two months to calm down in his grow box when he sleeps with a t-shirt containing the mom dog's scent.

 

First of all, I think that Jill may have considered this to be her one shot for marraige. I don't like commenting on the physical appearance of young women, but I think that Jill may have considered herself to be the least attractive of the sisters -- and I don't think that Gothard boys are banging down the door to get at any of them. Derick seemed interested, and if he didn't bite, who knows how long until another potential suitor arrived -- if one arrived at all.  

 

I am surprised at how aggressively the Duggar girls pursue men. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with girls pursuing boys -- to a point. I don't think anyone -- male or female -- should be pursuing someone to the point where they are flying around the world to meet someone. I realize that there was a TLC story line involved here, but it just comes off as creepy and desperate to me.  I mention this because it appears that Jinger may be following this same pattern with Lawson Bates. Why is Jinger constantly in TN? If Lawson is interested, why isn't he making an occassional trip to AR?

 

And, yeah, how did she get the t-shirt? How is it anything other than creepy and stalkery to ask someone you've known for a week for an article of clothing to sleep with? Did Jill give Derick a shirt, too?

  • Love 12
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First of all, I think that Jill may have considered this to be her one shot for marraige. I don't like commenting on the physical appearance of young women, but I think that Jill may have considered herself to be the least attractive of the sisters -- and I don't think that Gothard boys are banging down the door to get at any of them. Derick seemed interested, and if he didn't bite, who knows how long until another potential suitor arrived -- if one arrived at all.  

 

I am surprised at how aggressively the Duggar girls pursue men. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with girls pursuing boys -- to a point. I don't think anyone -- male or female -- should be pursuing someone to the point where they are flying around the world to meet someone. I realize that there was a TLC story line involved here, but it just comes off as creepy and desperate to me.  I mention this because it appears that Jinger may be following this same pattern with Lawson Bates. Why is Jinger constantly in TN? If Lawson is interested, why isn't he making an occassional trip to AR?

 

And, yeah, how did she get the t-shirt? How is it anything other than creepy and stalkery to ask someone you've known for a week for an article of clothing to sleep with? Did Jill give Derick a shirt, too?

 

I too was surprised that Jill was taken to Nepal to meet Derick, but am also confident that it was a primarily TLC-motivated storyline-driven move. There's no way Boob would have stuck a crowbar in his wallet to take her on his own dime. No way. But regardless of how it was paid for, it did come off as a little desperate on her part, and more than a little weird on his part, especially since he had only 2 months left to "serve."

  • Love 11
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I think that TLC couldn't resist the opportunity to go to an exotic locale like Nepal, instead of waiting a couple of months for Derick to come home. I'm sure the producers were always desperate for anything interesting to liven up the show. 

 

Because even with producer-driven events, it's still the most boring show in the history of the world. My viewing of it has been very limited, but in my limited experience it also seems to have more repeated lines, scenes, etc., than any other show I've ever seen. So there isn't even enough boring Duggar stuff to fill up the time slot. I can't imagine being a producer trying to make them interesting. ... and yet...and yet...many fans .... Don't get it. At all.

  • Love 9
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How is it that none of you posted on the fetus in a statue that Jill was posing with?  WTF.  Seriously.  Do they worship statues of fetuses?  Are you supposed to pray to the fetus?  And why is she smiling?  Does she think it's awoke to pose with a fetus in a jar?

  • Love 5
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I think these two stupid kissing pictures posted in the space of just a few days, after none at all, is a pretty clear indication that she's knocked up.

 

Between that and the plain toast breakfast in bed, I agree.

  • Love 3
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How is it that none of you posted on the fetus in a statue that Jill was posing with?  WTF.  Seriously.  Do they worship statues of fetuses?  Are you supposed to pray to the fetus?  And why is she smiling?  Does she think it's awoke to pose with a fetus in a jar?

Is there any way someone could post a link of this? The description made me laugh so hard, and I'm sure the picture is priceless.

 

I searched her Instagram page and their blog for it and didn't see anything. Did I just miss it or is it on another one of their countless social media accounts?

 

Edit: Micks Picks was kind enough to point it out to me. 

Edited by Zella
  • Love 2
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This is just one more post that underlines my complete confusion about "courting". These are arranged marriages. We know they're arranged, and yet all of the folks in them are somehow obligated to blog ad nauseum (emphasis on the nausea) about how 110%-over-the-moon-you-sinners-especially-teh-gays-could-never-possibly-understand in love they are. Is it the teenage mentality that the cult encourages? Over the top delight in finally being able to acknowledge sexual impulses? I'm lost here. 

 

Because despite adherence to and lip service about the "free will" aspect of a godly Christian life, these are absolutely 100% God-breathed partnerships, they believe.  The entire reason the spouse shows up at the door, means he's perfect and has been steered there right from God's hands to make you happy.  They think the outcome, or proof if you will, is what proves the proof.  No coincidences, the guy who shows up and passes through the hoops, is the appropriate guy (and interesting, when that is taken into account, that according to Jessa's own lips, that they and/or JimBoob has actually rejected suitors.  If we're being perfectly technical, they should believe that whomever simply shows up at the door, has been sent from God, and not question it or said suitor; except I guess even they admit that there could be some sleazy con artists slipping through the net).

 

I used to catch the show for a few minutes while channel changing, and always found something off about it. To have such a strong reaction that she cried herself to sleep almost every night, Jill must have been very lonely. I can't imagine such a controlled life; one where I would not be allowed to read what books I want or go shopping when I want, or to make and meet friends or make any of my own decisions. No wonder she was so lonely and clingy. It is very sad.

 

I've got fundie family members who would absolutely insist that if the relationship makes her that miserable, it's a sign it was not "sent from God", which is interesting to contemplate.  They'd say a "real Christian" trusts God to work these things out and would be sunny and happy.  The sobbing would be seen as a sign of evil wilfulness and inability to "trust God's plan".  Sometimes, if you're really lucky, they'll blame retrenched sin in your life for the reason that you're not happily married with a spouse before graduating college.  "Well, clearly you must be doing something wrong."

  • Love 3
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It seems weird to post the lyrics of a children's lullaby alongside a (very lackluster!) picture of you kissing your husband. It would be appropriate for a picture Izzy, but not for Derick.  It's actually slightly creepy, IMO, especially the "please don't take my sunshine away," part. Is Derick planning his escape? LOL!

 

"You Are My Sunshine" is about a romantic love, though. It's not a lullaby. The second verse goes like this: "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken. And I hung my head, and I cried." It's an extremely popular love song of the older generation -- has been through several older generations. Possibly because, for the time, it's even a little bit racy. Hang around a nursing home some time. The residents love singing it, the men and the women both. It was a very very popular song back in the day and while it has that sad thread about it, it's really just a song they sing about love and its intensity and how we all want to hold on to our loves. I expect that a Duggar would post it because, when you live in the kind of very sheltered lifestyle they've had, you're a lot more likely to know these very old songs -- which older people actually sing around the house and such, not just listen to on the radio as younger generations do -- than you are to know more modern songs. The highly sheltered tend to know this really old stuff in popular culture, so I'd say it's pretty expected for her to post it.

Edited by Churchhoney
  • Love 8
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My grandma used to sing "You are my sunshine" to me and my brothers.  I sang it to my children and grandchildren when they were babies.  



More Madonna/Iggy Pop arms

Okay, so they were cute videos.  He is "cutening up" and seems to have a good disposition.

  • Love 1
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You are my Sunshine is also sung at funerals. Don't know if that's a new thing but it is very very moving. And it was such a happy childhood song. Full circle?

It makes me nervous seeing that baby on a blanket.

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