Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Joan of Argh]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

He's a great dad and now he's a great husband. What's next, a great preacher? Great son and SIL?

She’s on a roll… maybe her next revelation will be that… He’s great in the sack. 🥳

[lascuba]

She exhausts me.

Jessa, stop trying to make Ben happen. Ben is never going to happen!

[Salacious Kitty]

6 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

She’s on a roll… maybe her next revelation will be that… He’s great in the sack. 🥳

Ugh, TMI.

[Stevie Nicks]

9 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

She’s on a roll… maybe her next revelation will be that… He’s great in the sack. 🥳

I seriously doubt he is. 😂

[CalicoKitty]

I still have sort of a soft spot for Ben.  He was encouraged to marry young, he married Jessa, and is stuck.  I think he actually has some smarts and might have done very well in school and had a good career if he had had any encouragement.  On their honeymoon in Europe he was shown to be very interested in where he was and what he was seeing, while Jessa just look bored.  He was working in a windshield-repair business before marriage, so he does understand the value of a job.  His father pushed him into the Duggar world, and now he has no way out--at least he cannot see one.  He seems not to have the gumption to stand up to Jessa, and by association, JB.  I see him as a kid that just was not given a chance to grow in the world, and certainly did not get good advice from his parents.  I do feel sorry for him in his situation.

[graefin]

Jessa just posted a YT video of how she surprised Ben while he was at work by moving all their stuff to the new house. Her narration when he comes home to the empty old house is that he's stoked that she was able to pull it off and he doesn't have to do the work of moving. Ben's actual quote? A monotone, "I guess she was ready to move." HA! Are those two ever on the same page?

[lascuba]

48 minutes ago, graefin said:

Jessa just posted a YT video of how she surprised Ben while he was at work by moving all their stuff to the new house. Her narration when he comes home to the empty old house is that he's stoked that she was able to pull it off and he doesn't have to do the work of moving. Ben's actual quote? A monotone, "I guess she was ready to move." HA! Are those two ever on the same page?

Oof, this is kind of sad to me. It's like they speak entirely unrelated languages. Worse, actually, because I know a few couples who married not speaking each other's languages and they have better communication and are generally more compatible than Ben and Jessa.

[Madtown]

Here is the video. I thought I hit submit an hour ago. Oops! 🤣

[ozziemom]

2 hours ago, graefin said:

Jessa just posted a YT video of how she surprised Ben while he was at work by moving all their stuff to the new house. Her narration when he comes home to the empty old house is that he's stoked that she was able to pull it off and he doesn't have to do the work of moving. Ben's actual quote? A monotone, "I guess she was ready to move." HA! Are those two ever on the same page?

So he wasn’t at work, ie the church right next to the new house? 

[Salacious Kitty]

10 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

So he wasn’t at work, ie the church right next to the new house? 

His "office" appears to be in a basement. He could have missed the moving crew. I assume it was the bros.

[sagittarius sue]

4 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I still have sort of a soft spot for Ben.  He was encouraged to marry young, he married Jessa, and is stuck.  I think he actually has some smarts and might have done very well in school and had a good career if he had had any encouragement.  On their honeymoon in Europe he was shown to be very interested in where he was and what he was seeing, while Jessa just look bored.

I agree.  Once on the show the producer asked several Duggars and adjacents about Shakespeare, and only Ben had some knowledge.  The rest of them, including Jeremy, were complete idiots.

[ginger90]

2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

. I assume it was the bros.

No brothers were shown. It was the younger girls, Jim Bob and Jana.

[Salacious Kitty]

10 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

No brothers were shown. It was the younger girls, Jim Bob and Jana.

They couldn't have had much to move towards the end. They didn't take the Birthday. Just the beds, clothes, and whatever was left in the kitchen. 

I can't imagine JB doing any physical labor. He probably just sat back and ordered the girls around at the old house, while Jessa ordered them around at the new place.

[Tasya]

Spurgeon is getting quite healthy. Definitely the healthiest of all the grandchildren thus far. 

[riverblue22]

It didn't appear that Jessa had done any prepacking, so they just dumped stuff anywhere.  It was so chaotic. And Jim Bob did seem to be doing stuff.

Included in the video were snapshots.  One was Ben on the couch with the kids reading to them.  What was he reading?  Southern Living magazine.  At least it's a change from the Bible and Bible stories.

[awaken]

19 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

She’s on a roll… maybe her next revelation will be that… He’s great in the sack. 🥳

I can’t remotely imagine it!  Although jessa has nothing to compare it to! 😊

[Salacious Kitty]

How good can the sex be when they're apparently co-sleeping with Fern? Does that baby even have a crib?

Edited September 10, 2022 by Salacious Kitty

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

How good can the serve when they're apparently co-sleeping with Fern? Does that baby even have a crib?

I don't think they've had a baby-less bed since Spurgie was born, but its apparent they somehow find a way to fit at least some baby making sex in.

[ozziemom]

18 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

His "office" appears to be in a basement. He could have missed the moving crew. I assume it was the bros.

Still a very strange video. Do Ben and Jessa never discuss anything? Or is he so useless she doesn’t even bother telling him things?

[BigBingerBro]

Yeah, the whole thing smells of "I don't want him around when we move, so I will do it while he's away and pretend it was a surprise".

[louannems]

14 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

It didn't appear that Jessa had done any prepacking, so they just dumped stuff anywhere.  It was so chaotic. And Jim Bob did seem to be doing stuff.

Included in the video were snapshots.  One was Ben on the couch with the kids reading to them.  What was he reading?  Southern Living magazine.  At least it's a change from the Bible and Bible stories.

I remember when I was little, some adult magazines had a kids’ corner in them.  With a story and maybe a game puzzle type thing.

[lascuba]

30 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Still a very strange video. Do Ben and Jessa never discuss anything? Or is he so useless she doesn’t even bother telling him things?

The latter is my read on it. Ben is generally useless and/or gets pissy about certain tasks. So Jessa organized it herself to get it done and as a nice thing for Ben so he wouldn't have to do anything, and Ben is such a child that he got annoyed because 1) he feels emasculated that she got other people to move his shit and 2) she didn't consult her headship before doing it. 

[Nysha]

3 hours ago, lascuba said:

The latter is my read on it. Ben is generally useless and/or gets pissy about certain tasks. So Jessa organized it herself to get it done and as a nice thing for Ben so he wouldn't have to do anything, and Ben is such a child that he got annoyed because 1) he feels emasculated that she got other people to move his shit and 2) she didn't consult her headship before doing it. 

Or because he has been able and willing to do it at other times but she was too busy with the kids, had a headache, or some other excuse and he feels like she set him up to look lazy and incompetent. 

[madpsych78]

Jessa is completely tone deaf, but the thing is, I don't think she realizes how her perspective is so divergent from Ben's. Ben was clearly keeping sweet in that video. I think he would have been more than happy to help pack and make it a family activity, which is why I think Jessa's assessment of Ben's thinking was way off. His comment about "I guess she was ready to move" was a dig and insinuating that Jessa does what Jessa wants. 

[irisheyes]

13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't think they've had a baby-less bed since Spurgie was born, but its apparent they somehow find a way to fit at least some baby making sex in.

I feel like the birthing couch had a role to play both at the beginning and end of the baby making process. 😂

[Tdoc72]

I want to know if he was even able to put his stuff where he wanted. Like, could he arrange his shirts in a way that he wanted or could he put his stapler in the left side of his desk instead of on the right?  
Or even is Ben allowed to have stuff, besides his clothes and a Bible?  
He did seem like he was keeping sweet, what with at least 2-3 teenage girls all aiming cameras at him. 

[Kbo]

Can’t believe she left those couches. Actually, since she’s a Duggar I can believe it but I’m repulsed. Those things need to be removed by people in biohazard suits. 

Edited September 10, 2022 by Kbo

[lascuba]

Does Ben ever use his words? Other than for his useless sermons and demanding to name an innocent baby Spurgeon, I mean? Because he always looks so annoyed and sure, maybe Jessa should take a hint sometimes, but it seems like he never actually clearly states that he's bothered by something. As oblivious as Jessa can be, I really don't think she'd have posted that video if he told her that he was (unreasonably, imo) upset that she arranged the move without him (probably after she could get him to agree on a date). He just sits there and seethes all the damn time. 

[Salacious Kitty]

You made me watch the video. Jessa's narration is so cold.

I can't believe it has 173k views in just over 1 day. I don't think all of Jinjer's videos combined have that many.

[Lady Whistleup]

I roll my eyes at talk of different "love languages" but with Jessa and Ben I think it's actually true. They just have totally different love languages. Jessa is a rather cold, unsentimental, practical person. She thought she was doing something cute/clever by moving all by herself. Ben however feels dominated and annoyed and stuff like moving all by herself just reinforces that pov. He probably is the type whose love language is gooey poems. He'll never get that with Jessa.

[Tdoc72]

10 hours ago, Kbo said:

Can’t believe she left those couches. Actually, since she’s a Duggar I can believe it but I’m repulsed. Those things need to be removed by people in biohazard suits. 

Have they said what they’re doing with the old/mold house?  Selling?  Moving someone else in?  

Edited September 11, 2022 by Tdoc72

[Canadian Girl]

11 hours ago, lascuba said:

it seems like he never actually clearly states that he's bothered by something. 

That's keeping sweet in a nutshell. 

[Dehumidifier]

4 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

Have they said what they’re doing with the old/mold house?  Selling?  Moving someone else in?  

Quoting myself from July 8th on this thread:

"Their city is building a police and fire station across the street from their old house. No wonder they wanted to move.🚒🚓🙉.

Someone is buying their land for an ambulance service which is why her brothers are going to move the house off of it. This must have been in the works for a while. I assume they will buy the new house when they get the money for the old house."

Presumably her brothers will take care of the old sofa and the other furniture left in the house, some of which may be useable -- desk, piano, forgot what else.

Edited September 11, 2022 by Dehumidifier

[ozziemom]

5 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

Have they said what they’re doing with the old/mold house?  Selling?  Moving someone else in?  

Last we heard was that the town/county bought the land and the Duggars were moving the mold house. I haven’t heard anything further so who knows when or where that is happening.

22 hours ago, louannems said:

I remember when I was little, some adult magazines had a kids’ corner in them.  With a story and maybe a game puzzle type thing.

At first glance I took adult magazines as Playboy, lol.

[lascuba]

10 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I roll my eyes at talk of different "love languages" but with Jessa and Ben I think it's actually true. They just have totally different love languages. Jessa is a rather cold, unsentimental, practical person. She thought she was doing something cute/clever by moving all by herself. Ben however feels dominated and annoyed and stuff like moving all by herself just reinforces that pov. He probably is the type whose love language is gooey poems. He'll never get that with Jessa.

Oh, he is. Their whole courtship was him being over the top "romantic" and treacly and her going, "Umm, thanks?" She couldn't even pretend for the cameras that she was into any of his gestures.  It's why I will never have any sympathy for him. He pursued her. He pushed his father to let him meet and marry her, not the other way around. She was upfront about her personality with him and he just ignored her because he assumed she'd do a 180 after marriage and become the biddable fucktoy of his dreams, because, as time has proven, his ego can't handle anything else. 

2 hours ago, Canadian Girl said:

That's keeping sweet in a nutshell. 

I love that a man in a patriarchal cult gets to experience what he believes should be the default for women. 

[Cinnabon]

15 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

You made me watch the video. Jessa's narration is so cold.

I can't believe it has 173k views in just over 1 day. I don't think all of Jinjer's videos combined have that many.

Jess’s is a cold, judgmental bitch, but Jinger is nothing but a Stepford bot. There’s nothing there. 

[cmr2014]

3 hours ago, lascuba said:

Oh, he is. Their whole courtship was him being over the top "romantic" and treacly and her going, "Umm, thanks?" She couldn't even pretend for the cameras that she was into any of his gestures.  It's why I will never have any sympathy for him. He pursued her. He pushed his father to let him meet and marry her, not the other way around. She was upfront about her personality with him and he just ignored her because he assumed she'd do a 180 after marriage and become the biddable fucktoy of his dreams, because, as time has proven, his ego can't handle anything else. 

I love that a man in a patriarchal cult gets to experience what he believes should be the default for women. 

He was 17. I'm glad I didn't get everything I wanted when I was 17.

Where were his parents? He was literally stalking Jessa, and his parents didn't sit him down and have a conversation explaining that "girls are 3-dimensional people, not simply hosts for your fantsy projections" and "you 'know' this girl from a television show; you have literally no idea what she is really like." Instead they drove him 3 hours to the Duggar "church" so that he could ratchet up his stalking.

I don't give his mother a pass, either. They may be in a patriarchal cult, but they chose to be in that cult. She's his mother, and there's no excuse for her not opening her mouth and saying "no."

Where were the Duggars. Remember how they've told us 1 million times about how they control every aspect of their children's lives, and how much their children love them (and thank them) for it? JB clearly didn't think this was a good idea -- why didn't he shut it down?

Ben was certainly a dim bulb at 17 -- I don't know much about him now. I would have more compassion for Jessa if I didn't find her so unpleasant, but I think that she's very damaged -- beyond the sexual abuse. Her childhood was effectively stolen from her, and that's not something you just shake off. 

I think they could probably get things back on track with some intensive counseling, but I also think that's a non-starter for Jessa.

[Chicklet]

Didn't Jessa "threaten" to elope if JB said no to Ben?  Like she would really do that but it was surprising to hear one of the kids push back.

[Cinnabon]

7 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Didn't Jessa "threaten" to elope if JB said no to Ben?  Like she would really do that but it was surprising to hear one of the kids push back.

Yes, but imo it was a completely hollow “threat.” She never would have eloped if that meant cutting herself off from JB’s money. 

[Salacious Kitty]

12 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

Yes, but imo it was a completely hollow “threat.” She never would have eloped if that meant cutting herself off from JB’s money. 

She never would have gotten the Mold House. JB would have demanded that Mary not "sell" it to Jessa. Mary had little autonomy after JL died.

[dargosmydaddy]

20 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

You made me watch the video. Jessa's narration is so cold.

I can't believe it has 173k views in just over 1 day. I don't think all of Jinjer's videos combined have that many.

The biggest difference between Jessa and Jinger is that Jessa's videos include her (adorable) children, while Jinger's do not. The Duggar brand is all about cute little kids. Jessa knows what sells, and is fine pimping out her kids for views, just like her parents did to her for ratings.

I just watched some of the video (OK, mostly just the end/ Ben's reaction), and to me that looked totally staged. Ben's face when he came into the house looked like someone acting (and not a trained actor, clearly) rather than a genuine reaction. That's just my take, but I don't think this was a surprise to him at all, and I think he'd been told by Jessa what to expect and how to react (and his monotone "over it" attitude may be that he's a bad actor, or he's tired of having to do these videos, or a combination of the two). 

[GeeGolly]

Ben's mother actually told Ben that Jessa was out of his league so he shouldn't get his hopes up.

Not to defend JB and M, but I think they handled this the best they could, rather than outright forbid it, they tried to give Jessa time to realize Ben was immature - almost a year. But what they didn't realize is, they had stunted Jessa and she was just as immature as Ben.

[lascuba]

4 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

He was 17. I'm glad I didn't get everything I wanted when I was 17.

Where were his parents? He was literally stalking Jessa, and his parents didn't sit him down and have a conversation explaining that "girls are 3-dimensional people, not simply hosts for your fantsy projections" and "you 'know' this girl from a television show; you have literally no idea what she is really like." Instead they drove him 3 hours to the Duggar "church" so that he could ratchet up his stalking.

I don't give his mother a pass, either. They may be in a patriarchal cult, but they chose to be in that cult. She's his mother, and there's no excuse for her not opening her mouth and saying "no."

Where were the Duggars. Remember how they've told us 1 million times about how they control every aspect of their children's lives, and how much their children love them (and thank them) for it? JB clearly didn't think this was a good idea -- why didn't he shut it down?

Ben was certainly a dim bulb at 17 -- I don't know much about him now. I would have more compassion for Jessa if I didn't find her so unpleasant, but I think that she's very damaged -- beyond the sexual abuse. Her childhood was effectively stolen from her, and that's not something you just shake off. 

I think they could probably get things back on track with some intensive counseling, but I also think that's a non-starter for Jessa.

Oh, his parents utterly failed him, no question. Any reasonable person would tell their 17 year to get his head out of his ass for asking to be driven 4 hours to attend a home church in the hopes of courting some girl on tv. 

I think if Ben's family hadn't outed the courtship on facebook, JB or even Jessa herself would have ended that relationship fairly early. But the cat was out of the bag so they had to extend the relationship for the cameras, and Jessa's feelings grew to the point that she wanted to marry him. Here's this guy who's "laid back" and adores her and claims to like her strong personality and isn't put off by her warning that she can't cook. On paper, Ben was an excellent choice for a fundie girl with Jessa's disposition. At that point, JB wasn't going to risk the negative publicity of forbidding a marriage that both parties wanted and the public has been following. 

I don't like Jessa, but there's no way I'm ever going to side with Ben over her.  And I have a lot compassion for the girl with the personality at odds with her beliefs thinking she found someone who liked the way she is. 

[cmr2014]

4 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Didn't Jessa "threaten" to elope if JB said no to Ben?  Like she would really do that but it was surprising to hear one of the kids push back.

They had already been "courting" for quite a while at that time. JB could have put a stop to a 17 year old stalker "courting" his daughter long before that.

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

They had already been "courting" for quite a while at that time. JB could have put a stop to a 17 year old stalker "courting" his daughter long before that.

Especially a young Calvinist. I suppose that JB thought Ben was young enough to change and greenlighted the courtship.

[Mindthinkr]

3 hours ago, dargosmydaddy said:

and his monotone "over it" attitude may be that he's a bad actor, or he's tired of having to do these videos, or a combination of the two). 

He got to the point where there were no more “takes”. Cut and print. 

[madpsych78]

2 hours ago, dargosmydaddy said:

The biggest difference between Jessa and Jinger is that Jessa's videos include her (adorable) children, while Jinger's do not. The Duggar brand is all about cute little kids. Jessa knows what sells, and is fine pimping out her kids for views, just like her parents did to her for ratings.

I just watched some of the video (OK, mostly just the end/ Ben's reaction), and to me that looked totally staged. Ben's face when he came into the house looked like someone acting (and not a trained actor, clearly) rather than a genuine reaction. That's just my take, but I don't think this was a surprise to him at all, and I think he'd been told by Jessa what to expect and how to react (and his monotone "over it" attitude may be that he's a bad actor, or he's tired of having to do these videos, or a combination of the two). 

I think you are spot on about the differences between Jessa's and Jinger's videos. Jessa's videos basically look like an extension of Counting On which is more familiar to her followers, whereas Jinger's does not. Even though, IMHO, Jinger's videos have better editing and production.

And I do think Jessa and Ben have different love languages. Ben did more romantic gestures than any others and Jessa was the least likely to be receptive to that (although I'm not sure which Duggar daughters would be receptive to romance, TBH).

Communication breakdowns are very much a real thing. Like for example, I am very independent-minded, but yet my mother was very overprotective of me. We butted heads a lot because of that.

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Even though, IMHO, Jinger's videos have better editing and production.

Jeremy and Jinger are the breakout stars from Counting On, so of course they’re better at it. 😁

[oliviabenson]

Beloved breakout stars ⭐️ 

haha

[satrunrose]

Ben's dad not only didn't put a stop to Ben's 17-year-old stalking, he encouraged it in a big old passive aggressive internet rant about how teenage marriage is what Jesus wants or some such nonsense. What seems to be happening with Ben and Jessa now is exactly what people were saying then. Very few people are the same people at 27 than they were at 17 and that can wreak havoc with a marriage. 

I do think that Jessa does better than Jing on SM because she does have a really clear brand (adorable kids with a side of Jesauce and home making tips) Jing and Jer just keep flailing. Are they aspirational? I doubt many in the typical leg humper demographic care too much about sneakers and burgers, but they aren't nearly cool enough to attract the millennial and zennials who might.