Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Sew Sumi]

3 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Jessa definitely has a more unique look, but she's ugly on the inside so I'll never consider her beautiful. I think Joy would actually be the best looking of the bunch if she put a bit of effort into her appearance. I always thought Jana was attractive but bland, and Jinger had a really long awkward phase but came out well on the other end. Jill, no comment. 

Seconded.

[Christina87]

5 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Jessa definitely has a more unique look, but she's ugly on the inside so I'll never consider her beautiful. I think Joy would actually be the best looking of the bunch if she put a bit of effort into her appearance. I always thought Jana was attractive but bland, and Jinger had a really long awkward phase but came out well on the other end. Jill, no comment. 

I definitely agree about Joy! She would be gorgeous if she tried. And I think Jill could improve her appearance a lot if she lived a healthier life. I think a lot of her issues with looking old / having bad skin and wrinkles / dead hair would be so improved if she would stop eating condensed soups for every meal and let a vegetable or fruit pass her lips, but she will never do that, because she holds onto that diet as righteously as she does her religion. Jinger obviously eats better food, jana probably does since she has an interest in gardening, Jessa eats better because Bin has an interest in healthy cooking, and Joy eats crap, but arguably better crap. She may eat out a lot, and consume too many chicken nuggets, but at least 90% of her diet isn't soups and carbs. At least she's getting a decent serving of protein in the chicken tenders. It's pretty sad that her diet is better than anyone's, but I would much rather eat hers than Jill's. I would feel horrible on only sodium, dairy, and bread. 

[Enya Face]

3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I can’t wait for my sister to call me so I can work snatch basket into the conversation. Thanks @Enya Face!

I never understood why Jessa was considered the “pretty” one since I think Jana is much prettier. You can kind of see “bitch” in both of their faces, but Jana seems far less aware of her looks, which makes her more attractive to me. 

Lol no problem @Ijustwantsomechips. Use it with glee, as it is one of my favorite insults EVER!! 😆

[cmr2014]

I think that all of the girls are reasonably pleasant looking -- and they should be grateful. There's nothing about them that's going to age well. They're all lazy and sloppy with poor nutritional habits, and no interest in exercise -- and they all plan to be pregnant pretty much non-stop for the next twenty years. You can add to that that they have poor personal hygiene habits, and very limited ability to dress themselves in a flattering way.

Once they get past the glow of youth, there won't be anything to remark on. They have no ambition to be women of accomplishment who will grow in insight and confidence over time and develop into women of style and grace.

[Minivanessa]

13 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think that all of the girls are reasonably pleasant looking -- and they should be grateful. There's nothing about them that's going to age well. They're all lazy and sloppy with poor nutritional habits, and no interest in exercise -- and they all plan to be pregnant pretty much non-stop for the next twenty years. You can add to that that they have poor personal hygiene habits, and very limited ability to dress themselves in a flattering way.

Once they get past the glow of youth, there won't be anything to remark on. They have no ambition to be women of accomplishment who will grow in insight and confidence over time and develop into women of style and grace.

I agree. The Duggars generally are telegenic and photogenic, which I hate to say because I loathe them, especially JB and Michelle. But all the daughters have going for them are genetics, for all the reasons noted by@cmr2014.

Since this is the Jessa thread, I'll add that I agree with the comment that she had a sort of Angelina Jolie look about her back when she was the hot Duggar daughter. Those days are in the rear view mirror. Now, she's just another woman going through her third pregnancy and throwing shade on her SIL's miscarriage. Joy's now the best looking adult Duggar daughter, which must grind Jessa's gears because IMO Joy really doesn't give a f*ck and is just living her life. But she's younger and has that bloom going. By her third pregnancy she'll probably be about where Jessa is now and I suppose it will be someone else's turn to be the hot one.

[awaken]

49 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think that all of the girls are reasonably pleasant looking -- and they should be grateful. There's nothing about them that's going to age well. They're all lazy and sloppy with poor nutritional habits, and no interest in exercise -- and they all plan to be pregnant pretty much non-stop for the next twenty years. You can add to that that they have poor personal hygiene habits, and very limited ability to dress themselves in a flattering way.

Once they get past the glow of youth, there won't be anything to remark on. They have no ambition to be women of accomplishment who will grow in insight and confidence over time and develop into women of style and grace.

Welp, that pretty much sums it up!  😁

[JoanArc]

I think if/when Bin's look fade Jessa will truly go over the edge. Imagine her beautiful self with a bald or paunchy guy.

[Churchhoney]

4 hours ago, JoanArc said:

I think if/when Bin's look fade Jessa will truly go over the edge. Imagine her beautiful self with a bald or paunchy guy.

Of course then she would/will have the consolation of saying that their children's good looks come entirely from her and not from hubby.     ;  ) 

Edited February 28, 2019 by Churchhoney

[JoanArc]

24 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Of course then she would/will have the consolation of saying that their children's goods looks come entirely from her and not from hubby.     ;  ) 

Just wait till they hit the Duggar Male Puberty Curse. She'll lock them in the basement!

[Barb23]

13 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

Just wait till they hit the Duggar Male Puberty Curse. She'll lock them in the basement!

Henry  & esp Spurge look like they have thick curly hair. Hopefully it will stay with them as they get older.

[Portia]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

Henry  & esp Spurge look like they have thick curly hair. Hopefully it will stay with them as they get older.

I am not a hair scientist, and this is only anecdotal evidence...but my husband has a receding hairline (or as he calls it, "very short bangs") while maintaining beautifully thick and curly hair on the rest of his head. He buzzes it short because he prefers that look, and it breaks my heart to see that beautiful hair in the bathroom trash can. 

[Zella]

5 hours ago, JoanArc said:

I think if/when Bin's look fade Jessa will truly go over the edge. Imagine her beautiful self with a bald or paunchy guy.

I think Ben is more likely to keep his looks than Jessa, who already has lost a lot of her looks, in my opinion. Not sure why and maybe it is just me, but it seems like men often (but not always) grow into their looks more as they age. I'm perennially surprised by the number of men I know who were average-looking teens or early 20s who have matured into rather handsome 30s/40s somethings. I don't personally find Ben attractive, but he's already not a bad-looking guy. 

I often wonder how much bitter buyer's remorse Ben has. When he married her, Jessa was supposed to be the hot, sexy Duggar. Now, she's just really frumpy and has been eclipsed looks-wise by several of her sisters. And she is apparently a raging bitch. Was it worth it, Ben? 

[Churchhoney]

45 minutes ago, Zella said:

I think Ben is more likely to keep his looks than Jessa, who already has lost a lot of her looks, in my opinion. Not sure why and maybe it is just me, but it seems like men often (but not always) grow into their looks more as they age. I'm perennially surprised by the number of men I know who were average-looking teens or early 20s who have matured into rather handsome 30s/40s somethings. I don't personally find Ben attractive, but he's already not a bad-looking guy. 

I often wonder how much bitter buyer's remorse Ben has. When he married her, Jessa was supposed to be the hot, sexy Duggar. Now, she's just really frumpy and has been eclipsed looks-wise by several of her sisters. And she is apparently a raging bitch. Was it worth it, Ben? 

Hey, he was following his father's sage advice: "Don't waste a second being a teenager! The best use for those unformed frontal lobes is to leap into a teen TeeVee marriage and start pumping out kids with the family bitch!" 

Or, as others say: Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, Bin.      ;  )

[LongDenimFrumper]

I think Jinger is really having a "glow up" since getting married and leaving Duggarland. While she did have an extremely awkward phase for a few years, present day, her hair, skin, weight, clothes, etc. are all looking better and better. I'm always surprised that Jinger is still Jessa's favorite. She may have been easy to control growing up but she's definitely landed herself a better lot in life than Jessa currently has. She has the coveted first baby girl, travels frequently, owns her owns a home,  lives far enough away from the family that JimBoob can't be in her business 100% of the time, married the most educated/worldly/alpha of all the husbands and I think they are definitely more progressive than the rest. Jinger and Jerm are of course still fundies but I think they spank Jessa and Ben in just about every category of "competition".  

I do agree with the poster above about none of these girls aging well long term. Years of pregnancy will catch up with them quick. Youth is fleeting. By the time they all hit 40 there won't be a bud on the rose if you ya know what I mean. 

Edited February 28, 2019 by LongDenimFrumper
added information

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I agree that Joy has nice features.  Were she to cut that hair and do a natural face of makeup, she could easily steal Jessa’s thunder.

[Churchhoney]

15 minutes ago, LongDenimFrumper said:

I think Jinger is really having a "glow up" since getting married and leaving Duggarland. While she did have an extremely awkward phase for a few years, present day, her hair, skin, weight, clothes, etc. are all looking better and better. I'm always surprised that Jinger is still Jessa's favorite. She may have been easy to control growing up but she's definitely landed herself a better lot in life than Jessa currently has. She has the coveted first baby girl, travels frequently, owns her owns a home,  lives far enough away from the family that JimBoob can't be in her business 100% of the time, married the most educated/worldly/alpha of all the husbands and I think they are definitely more progressive than the rest. Jinger and Jerm are of course still fundies but I think they spank Jessa and Ben in just about every category of "competition".  

I do agree with the poster above about none of these girls aging well long term. Years of pregnancy will catch up with them quick. Youth is fleeting. By the time they all hit 40 there won't be a bud on the rose if you ya know what I mean. 

I wonder whether this isn't mainly just because of a lack of other choices. I expect Jessa still looks way way down at Jana, Jill and Joy on various grounds, since they were never part of her clique growing up. And I doubt any of them is clamoring to be her best bud, anyway.

So she doesn't have options other than Jingle, really. .... And as for that -- Well, she can claim that she and Jingle are still super-close, but it's not like they see each other all that often. And when they are together, I haven't seen a lot of photo or other evidence suggesting that they're loving each other's company more than that of others. (although that evidence may exist...obviously I haven't seen everything)

Jessa's clearly designated herself a or maybe the main keeper and proponent of the family myths, too. So she has a vested interest in making a big point about how she was always very close with a favorite sister and still is and always will be, amen. Because love multiplies in the fabulous Duggar household. 

Edited February 28, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

I think Ben is more likely to keep his looks than Jessa, who already has lost a lot of her looks, in my opinion. Not sure why and maybe it is just me, but it seems like men often (but not always) grow into their looks more as they age. I'm perennially surprised by the number of men I know who were average-looking teens or early 20s who have matured into rather handsome 30s/40s somethings. I don't personally find Ben attractive, but he's already not a bad-looking guy. 

I often wonder how much bitter buyer's remorse Ben has. When he married her, Jessa was supposed to be the hot, sexy Duggar. Now, she's just really frumpy and has been eclipsed looks-wise by several of her sisters. And she is apparently a raging bitch. Was it worth it, Ben? 

I am one who thinks Ben is cute (as I've said before), and I don't imagine he will age badly (though he really needs to lose that overgrown beard). As far as guys getting bald, I have never had a problem with that - many guys actually look really attractive with a receding hairline (though I'll admit that the Duggar pattern is not a great look), and many can pull off completely bald and remain sexy. Getting paunchy doesn't need to be a total deal-breaker either. A teddy-bear-like physique isn't always off-putting. As long as the person inside is pleasant, and (importantly for me) has a nice smile, anything else is frosting!

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Ben’s voice is high and wispy and I JUST CAN’T WITH HIM. I cringe every time he talks because his voice is so effeminate. I’m not proud of myself for this, I should be more tolerant or woke or something, but I cannot get past his breathy high voice.

[wilsie]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

I haven't seen a lot of photo or other evidence suggesting that they're loving each other's company more than that of others. (although that evidence may exist...obviously I haven't seen everything)

With the amount of pictures Jingle and Jessa take I think we would have seen a lot of pictures😊

[Zella]

1 hour ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Ben’s voice is high and wispy and I JUST CAN’T WITH HIM. I cringe every time he talks because his voice is so effeminate. I’m not proud of myself for this, I should be more tolerant or woke or something, but I cannot get past his breathy high voice.

My overwhelming impression of Ben whenever I've watched videos of him is that his allergies are raging out of control, and as a fellow allergy sufferer, I just feel really sorry for him. 😂

[Churchhoney]

57 minutes ago, wilsie said:

With the amount of pictures Jingle and Jessa take I think we would have seen a lot of pictures😊

I was trying to be nice and give them the benefit of the doubt!   ;  )

[ginger90]

Ben’s sister:

[Jenilane6]

1 hour ago, wilsie said:

With the amount of pictures Jingle and Jessa take I think we would have seen a lot of pictures😊

Seeing as she wasn’t invited to Felicity’s birth, but crashed it anyway, I agree.

[BitterApple]

28 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Ben’s sister:

Danielle looks really pretty. That's great she finished school. 

I still can't believe Jessica's a full-fledged cop. She looks like a 14 year-old playing dress-up for career day. 

Edited February 28, 2019 by BitterApple

[wilsie]

3 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I was trying to be nice and give them the benefit of the doubt!   ;  )

I know that.  You always do.  You're very kind and understanding.  You have family history that makes you empathetic.

[Churchhoney]

26 minutes ago, wilsie said:

I know that.  You always do.  You're very kind and understanding.  You have family history that makes you empathetic.

Thanks.

[yogi2014L]

5 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Danielle looks really pretty. That's great she finished school. 

I still can't believe Jessica's a full-fledged cop. She looks like a 14 year-old playing dress-up for career day. 

My Husband looks like a total BABY in his official picture back when he was a 21 year old baby cop. It is actually very funny to look at now. But people don't take you that seriously when you look like you borrowed your mom or dad's uniform- so I feel for Jessica. It is hard enough to be a female officer much less a young, attractive female officer. She probably gets a good deal of harassment.

So she has a couple kudos from me for sticking it out. I could never be a cop. I also hope that should Ben ( or the kids down the line) want to leave the Duggar cult she would be an inspiration/help/way out for him 

Edited March 1, 2019 by yogi2014L

[Future Cat Lady]

It’s funny that his younger sisters both have professions while he doesn’t seem to have a job.  I wonder if realizes what he missed by getting married so young. I guess he couldn’t wait to get laid.

[DangerousMinds]

48 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

My Husband looks like a total BABY in his official picture back when he was a 21 year old baby cop. It is actually very funny to look at now. But people don't take you that seriously when you look like you borrowed your mom or dad's uniform- so I feel for Jessica. It is hard enough to be a female officer much less a young, attractive female officer. She probably gets a good deal of harassment.

So she has a couple kudos from me for sticking it out. I could never be a cop. I also hope that should Ben ( or the kids down the line) want to leave the Duggar cult she would be an inspiration/help/way out for him 

Bin should be ashamed for choosing to raise his kids in the Duggar cult.

[Spencer Hastings]

I wonder if the Seewalds saw what happened to Ben and put the pressure on the girls to find careers before settling down. Michael was really anxious to get Ben married off and they were all over the Duggar train, but they seem to have silently changed their tune.  I’m glad their girls have careers and options. 

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I wonder if the Seewalds saw what happened to Ben and put the pressure on the girls to find careers before settling down. Michael was really anxious to get Ben married off and they were all over the Duggar train, but they seem to have silently changed their tune.  I’m glad their girls have careers and options. 

Probably because they didn't get the fame that Michael Seewald was hoping for when he married Ben off to Jessa. But that has turned out to be a good thing since the girls are finding careers. That's great. Their going to be better off in the long run having careers and options. 

[Churchhoney]

11 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Bin should be ashamed for choosing to raise his kids in the Duggar cult.

Thing is, though, he made the decision when he was extremely young and, of course, poorly educated, overly sheltered (so even younger in mind than many other guys the same age, probably), indoctrinated and, apparently, kinda stupid into the bargain. 

And he did it not just with the permission but at the intense -- and public -- urging of his father, the anointed leader of his patriarchal family (whose Doug Phillips-led Vision Forum cult was every bit as patriarchal as Gothard's). 

I mean, imagine that. Imagine writing fat sermons online in which you rant that for the sake of Jesus all obstacles must be immediately removed to allowing your dumb, innocent, lust-crazed not-yet-20-year-old to marry somebody he pants after but hardly knows! In an environment where they'll immediately start having baby baby baby and more baby! It's near insanity, seems to me.

And what kid wouldn't go along with it happily? Especially a kid living brainwashed in a patriarchal cult? 

I blame Mike. 

But now it appears Mike may have learned a lesson (good) although it's too late for BIn (bad). 

Edited March 1, 2019 by Churchhoney

[yogi2014L]

25 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Thing is, though, he made the decision when he was extremely young and, of course, poorly educated, overly sheltered (so even younger in mind than many other guys the same age, probably), indoctrinated and, apparently, kinda stupid into the bargain. 

And he did it not just with the permission but at the intense -- and public -- urging of his father, the anointed leader of his patriarchal family (whose Doug Phillips-led Vision Forum cult was every bit as patriarchal as Gothard's). 

I mean, imagine that. Imagine writing fat sermons online in which you rant that for the sake of Jesus all obstacles must be immediately removed to allowing your dumb, innocent, lust-crazed, not-yet-20-year-old to marry somebody he pants after but hardly knows! In an environment where they'll immediately start having baby baby baby and more baby! It's near insanity, seems to me.

And what kid wouldn't go along with it happily? Especially a kid living brainwashed in a patriarchal cult? 

I blame Mike. 

But now it appears Mike may have learned a lesson (good) although it's too late for BIn (bad). 

Yeah, I agree. The Seewalds failed Bin miserably  ( and obviously boob and meschelle don't care about the well being of their kids) 

I feel like people forget just how young all these kids are when they got married. I sure wasn't a fully functional adult at 20 (still going to college and dependent on my parents) and had I married my 20 year old boyfriend it would have absolutely ended in divorce, probably by age 21.

These kids are so sheltered and stunted it is pretty much like allowing a couple of 16 year olds to get married. 

Edited March 1, 2019 by yogi2014L

[Minivanessa]

2 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

Yeah, I agree. The Seewalds failed Bin miserably  ( and obviously boob and meschelle don't care about the well being of their kids) 

I feel like people forget just how young all these kids are when they got married. I sure wasn't a fully functional adult at 20 (still going to college and dependent on my parents) and had I married my 20 year old boyfriend it would have absolutely ended in divorce, probably by age 21.

These kids are so sheltered and stunted it is pretty much like allowing a couple of 16 year olds to get married. 

I think JB has brokered "dynastic" marriages for Joy, Joe, and Josiah. All those spouses have dads who are either tight with JB or seem to want to be. Lauren's dad moved his family to Arkansas to get into the Duggar orbit, IMO. JB and Austin's dad are bro's-in-Jesus from way back, and Kendra's dad is pastor at a Baptist church the Duggars have attended. One big happy fundie extended family.

[ETA: And, all these couples were *young* at the time. I think JB was (a) chasing ratings, and (b) hoping to stay large and in charge of his kids' lives after marriage by getting them hitched young, to spouses with like-minded parents. The two situations he's lost - or never had - control of, are noted below: Derek and Jeremy.]

I think JB may have thought he was getting something like those three "dynastic" marriages, for Jessa. Michael Seewald seemed to be about as hot for the Jessa/Bin match as Ben was for Jessa's bod. IIRC, Michael S. either drove Ben, or allowed the teen Ben to drive, a long distance to attend church, so he could meet Jessa. Michael, as has been discussed above, was at that time posting long incomprehensible fundie-speak essays online, and we know he was at one time a Vision Forum adherent. I don't know what happened, but Michael Seewald wasn't thrust into fundie prominence by the Ben/Jessa marriage, and the Seewald and Duggar extended families do not appear to hang out. And now two of Michael's daughters have completed training for real world secular careers - cop and hair stylist - and one of them is already a sworn LEO. Not Gothard or Vision Forum stuff for young women, who are spozed to be happily living under their dad's headship until it's transferred to their husbands when they marry. Hmm.

In other non-dynastic matches:

• JB seems to have worked directly with Derick to broker that marriage approve of the courtship. Maybe because Derek's dad was deceased and Derek was (a) male and (b) already a college grad and out in the world. Of course, JB somehow lost control of the situation and while Derek's a slow-motion trainwreck, at least he's not in jail, and he's doing something respectable - going to law school.
• And of course Jeremy's an outlier - not a beta male, not chosen by JB to court Jinger, with fundie credentials that JB couldn't dispute, and smart enough to run rings around JB without breaking a sweat. It gives me enormous amusement to think of JB's futile rage at not being in charge of that situation although Jinger followed his bullsh*t rules and Jeremy did too, IIRC even filling out his stupid "courting questionnaire." Heh.

IMO the jury's out on the JD-Abbie match. Abbie grew up Gothard and IMO hasn't fallen far from it although she got real world training and licensure as an LPN. I don't know if her parents and the Duggars are buddies. They must have encountered each other over the years at IBLP events, unless Abbie's family just never went to any. Of course JD and Abbie are older than usual for these Duggar marriages - but IMO it's possible that JB had some hand in bringing them together. It's also possible that Abbie's parents had met Ma and Pa Duggar over their years in the Gothard world, and weren't all that enchanted with them. 

Edited March 1, 2019 by Jeeves
spelling and another thought

[madpsych78]

16 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I think JB has brokered "dynastic" marriages for Joy, Joe, and Josiah. All those spouses have dads who are either tight with JB or seem to want to be. Lauren's dad moved his family to Arkansas to get into the Duggar orbit, IMO. JB and Austin's dad are bro's-in-Jesus from way back, and Kendra's dad is pastor at a Baptist church the Duggars have attended. One big happy fundie extended family.

I think JB may have thought he was getting something like that for Jessa. Michael Seewald seemed to be about as hot for the Jessa/Bin match as Ben was for Jessa's bod. IIRC, Michael S. either drove Ben, or allowed the teen Ben to drive, a long distance to attend church, so he could meet Jessa. Michael, as has been discussed above, was at that time posting long incomprehensible fundie-speak essays online, and we know he was at one time a Vision Forum adherent. I don't know what happened, but Michael Seewald wasn't thrust into fundie prominence by the Ben/Jessa marriage, and the Seewald and Duggar extended families do not appear to hang out. And now two of Michael's daughters have completed training for real world secular careers - cop and hair stylist - and one of them is already a sworn LEO. Not Gothard or Vision Forum stuff for young women, who are spozed to be happily living under their dad's headship until it's transferred to their husbands when they marry. Hmm.

In other non-dynastic matches:

• JB seems to have worked directly with Derick to broker that marriage approve of the courtship. Maybe because Derek's dad was deceased and Derek was (a) male and (b) already a college grad and out in the world.
• And of course Jeremy's an outlier - not a beta male, not chosen by JB to court Jinger, with fundie credentials that JB couldn't dispute, and smart enough to run rings around JB without breaking a sweat. It gives me enormous amusement to think of JB's futile rage at not being in charge of that situation although Jinger followed his bullsh*t rules and Jeremy did too, IIRC even filling out his stupid "courting questionnaire." Heh.

IMO the jury's out on the JD-Abbie match. Abbie grew up Gothard and IMO hasn't fallen far from it although she got real world training and licensure as an LPN. I don't know if her parents and the Duggars are buddies. They must have encountered each other over the years at IBLP events, unless Abbie's family just never went to any. Of course JD and Abbie are older than usual for these Duggar marriages - but IMO it's possible that JB had some hand in bringing them together. It's also possible that Abbie's parents had met Ma and Pa Duggar over their years in the Gothard world, and weren't all that enchanted with them. 

And then the Kellers. I kind of put them like the Burnetts, as they are also heavily steeped into Gothard, except Abbie doesn't appear to be as into the Kool-Aid as much as Anna. I wonder how much the Kellers have fallen out of favor since several of their children left the fold. If anything the Duggars are tighter with only Priscilla and co. rather than the entire Keller family.

[Barb23]

12 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

It’s funny that his younger sisters both have professions while he doesn’t seem to have a job.  I wonder if realizes what he missed by getting married so young. I guess he couldn’t wait to get laid.

Let's not forget he is now a tutor for the Duggar Academy. 

I really wish the Duggars would give us a lowdown on the Duggarbots jobs besides just saying they help JB with the rental properties or they work at the car lot (really, how many guys does it take to run the car lot?)  We know what the son-in-laws do for the most part (not totally sure about Ben) but the Duggar guys jobs (if any) seem to be a mystery.  Even the leghumpers have questioned their jobs but they get the general response of he works for JB, no details.

I'm sure Ben has regrets after seeing how far his sisters have come esp Jessica.  He may not have had regrets at the beginning of their marriage but as the years go by with a growing family that takes money & time, I think buyer's remorse has settled in for Ben.  He has to be jealous over his best bud Jeremy's life because that's the life he wanted & thought he was going to get by marrying a Duggar gal.  As he  has advanced to tutor from toilet washer in the Duggar hierarchy, he watches Jeremy advance to preaching in a larger church, a job he covets.

[Minivanessa]

1 minute ago, madpsych78 said:

And then the Kellers. I kind of put them like the Burnetts, as they are also heavily steeped into Gothard, except Abbie doesn't appear to be as into the Kool-Aid as much as Anna. I wonder how much the Kellers have fallen out of favor since several of their children left the fold. If anything the Duggars are tighter with only Priscilla and co. rather than the entire Keller family.

Good points! I truly forgot that match. I think it's because I loathe Smuggar and Anna so much that I just don't think about them.

Yes, the Kellers are all in with Gothard and the IBLP life. Didn't Josh meet Anna at at IBLP conference? I'm sure JB brokered that deal with Pa Keller, and IIRC at the time the Duggs were probably sweating bullets to get Josh married off so his desires could be righteously fulfilled and the TV show wouldn't be threatened. Ma and Pa Keller, as far as I know, still live far away from the TTH, in Florida, and probably still don't have much money to travel, so it's easy for the Duggars not to hang out with them. I'm sure if JB thought there was something in it for him he'd be flying down there to hang out with the Kellers all the time. At any rate, Anna has proven to be an ideal Duggar wife, totally toeing the line and pumping out babies and standing by her man. 

I've always wondered how much true disclosure JB did to Pa Keller about Josh's past "problems" before Pa Keller gave Josh permission to court Anna. I don't think we'll ever really know even if Pa K was gobsmacked when Joshgate hit because JB had fudged the facts. 

[JoanArc]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

(really, how many guys does it take to run the car lot?) 

Quite a few when everyone half-asses their way through an 8 hour workweek!

[DangerousMinds]

I wish Bin would step it up for his own kids NOW. After all, he is the headship, right?

[Churchhoney]

11 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I wish Bin would step it up for his own kids NOW. After all, he is the headship, right?

Not in Jessa's world, he isn't... ;  )     Queen bees don't have headships. 

[Albanyguy]

15 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I wonder if the Seewalds saw what happened to Ben and put the pressure on the girls to find careers before settling down. Michael was really anxious to get Ben married off and they were all over the Duggar train, but they seem to have silently changed their tune.  I’m glad their girls have careers and options. 

I wonder if Michael's original plan was to get his foot in the door by marrying Ben off to Jessa and then use that to broker marriages for his daughters with Duggar sons, thereby entrenching himself thoroughly in the family. More kids married to Duggars would mean more opportunities for him to get his face on "19 Kids and Counting" and maybe even get a spinoff series of his own. Then something happened to sour the relationship. Ben is married to Jessa and part of the show, but Michael is definitely on the outside looking in.

Stupid as he is, Jim Bob is still quite shrewd when it comes to his own self interest. Michael might have been a little too eager to be part of the show and set alarm bells ringing for JB. I've always thought that JB must regret the day he let his "dear, close friends" the Bates family appear on the show. Next thing he knew, they were given their own show and were now the competition. He's been careful ever since not to give other Fundie families a chance to publicize themselves at his expense.

[Minivanessa]

35 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

I wonder if Michael's original plan was to get his foot in the door by marrying Ben off to Jessa and then use that to broker marriages for his daughters with Duggar sons, thereby entrenching himself thoroughly in the family. More kids married to Duggars would mean more opportunities for him to get his face on "19 Kids and Counting" and maybe even get a spinoff series of his own. Then something happened to sour the relationship. Ben is married to Jessa and part of the show, but Michael is definitely on the outside looking in.

Stupid as he is, Jim Bob is still quite shrewd when it comes to his own self interest. Michael might have been a little too eager to be part of the show and set alarm bells ringing for JB. I've always thought that JB must regret the day he let his "dear, close friends" the Bates family appear on the show. Next thing he knew, they were given their own show and were now the competition. He's been careful ever since not to give other Fundie families a chance to publicize themselves at his expense.

Those are great points, IMO. Especially about JB not wanting competition. 

I also wonder if Jessa was friendly or cold to Ben's sisters during their courtship and engagement. We've seen how uncomfortable Jessa is when meeting new people; she's fine with being up on stage or screen as the center of attention, but not with having to actually interact with people. I haven't paid enough attention to know: has Jessa become close to any of Ben's sisters?

Wasn't there an episode on 19K&C when Jessa and Ben were courting/engaged, where Ben's mom and/or sister(s) "taught" Jessa how to cook some of Ben's favorite foods? I wonder what Ben's sisters, who would have been teenagers at the time, thought of the whole Duggar circus? It wouldn't surprise me if they found the idea of being on TV attractive - hey, who wouldn't want to be famous  -  but were not so thrilled by the Duggar males, from JB on down the line. 

[louannems]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

Those are great points, IMO. Especially about JB not wanting competition. 

I also wonder if Jessa was friendly or cold to Ben's sisters during their courtship and engagement. We've seen how uncomfortable Jessa is when meeting new people; she's fine with being up on stage or screen as the center of attention, but not with having to actually interact with people. I haven't paid enough attention to know: has Jessa become close to any of Ben's sisters?

Wasn't there an episode on 19K&C when Jessa and Ben were courting/engaged, where Ben's mom and/or sister(s) "taught" Jessa how to cook some of Ben's favorite foods? I wonder what Ben's sisters, who would have been teenagers at the time, thought of the whole Duggar circus? It wouldn't surprise me if they found the idea of being on TV attractive - hey, who wouldn't want to be famous  -  but were not so thrilled by the Duggar males, from JB on down the line. 

Yes, Ben's sisters taught Jessa how to cook chicken Alfredo, and bake an apple pie: Ben's favorites!  (I had 2 brothers growing up, and it never occurred to me that I should be cooking their favorites).

[floridamom]

Ben should become a real-world qualified teacher. I think he has a knack for it. HOWEVER, there is no sane reason why a guy who is married and has his own children should be nanny-teaching his little brother and sisters-in-law. This grown man needs his own means of support, like a real job, and begin educating his own children. Those scenes really emasculated Ben IMO. Jessa and JB really to have Ben's balls in a jar on their night stands. It looked demeaning to me for Ben to have been shown doing this.

The behavior of the Duggar children in a grocery store still was appalling to me. I really doubt that they go anywhere outside of their 'bubble". Who acts like that in a supermarket? No need for Jackson and Johanna to have been lumped in with Jenny and Josie for that math lesson, even for TV sake. Jackson should be doing 9th grade work or better. Don't they claim that their homeschooling curriculum is superior to brick and mortar schools? Yes, they have. Those children have no set school schedule and that is not good for continuity in learning.

[madpsych78]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

Ben should become a real-world qualified teacher. I think he has a knack for it. HOWEVER, there is no sane reason why a guy who is married and has his own children should be nanny-teaching his little brother and sisters-in-law. This grown man needs his own means of support, like a real job, and begin educating his own children. Those scenes really emasculated Ben IMO. Jessa and JB really to have Ben's balls in a jar on their night stands. It looked demeaning to me for Ben to have been shown doing this.

I agree that Ben actually has potential as an educator. I also agree that a man whose job consists of teaching/tutoring his wife's much younger siblings seems to contradict their culture where the man is supposed to be the head of the household. It's like the Duggars having their first male nanny. I wondered how much teaching the littles was Ben's idea.

That being said, a teacher is a "real job" and I don't think it was demeaning for Ben to be teaching in general. He could get a teaching degree and work at a public or private school. I believe Derick briefly substitute taught and Ben would be much better at it than Derick. 

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

Ben should become a real-world qualified teacher. I think he has a knack for it. HOWEVER, there is no sane reason why a guy who is married and has his own children should be nanny-teaching his little brother and sisters-in-law. This grown man needs his own means of support, like a real job, and begin educating his own children. Those scenes really emasculated Ben IMO. Jessa and JB really to have Ben's balls in a jar on their night stands. It looked demeaning to me for Ben to have been shown doing this.

100%. At this point, Bin can't blame Mike for his failings. He has an Associate's from a real community college. He should've transferred those credits ages ago to get a Bachelor's. He would've been done by now if he had. Instead he got sucked into the Duggar vortex of sloth and coasted on TLC money. Taking a semester off for Spurge's birth was ridiculous. My grandfather had two small children when he was in medical school. It's called adulting. Each spouse does their part and you push through. 

[Albanyguy]

47 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

At this point, Bin can't blame Mike for his failings. He has an Associate's from a real community college. He should've transferred those credits ages ago to get a Bachelor's. He would've been done by now if he had. Instead he got sucked into the Duggar vortex of sloth and coasted on TLC money

The boys who marry into the Duggar clan have two things in common with their new spouses and in-laws: they're fundamentalist religious fanatics and they are lazy grifters who want to live comfortably while doing as little as possible for themselves. Ben and Derick are both "students" who have never actually held down a real job (unless you count Derick's time in Danger America). Jeremy is technically employed as a pastor, but he seems to prefer traveling around the country, eating in nice restaurants and posing for pictures than attending to his church. They're all dependent on TLC money and "love offerings" and those funding streams are eventually going to dry up. The jury is still out on Austin, who seems like a hard worker, but for him, it's early days yet.

[Churchhoney]

53 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

The boys who marry into the Duggar clan have two things in common with their new spouses and in-laws: they're fundamentalist religious fanatics and they are lazy grifters who want to live comfortably while doing as little as possible for themselves. Ben and Derick are both "students" who have never actually held down a real job (unless you count Derick's time in Danger America). Jeremy is technically employed as a pastor, but he seems to prefer traveling around the country, eating in nice restaurants and posing for pictures than attending to his church. They're all dependent on TLC money and "love offerings" and those funding streams are eventually going to dry up. The jury is still out on Austin, who seems like a hard worker, but for him, it's early days yet.

Good point. 

I still hold out some hope for Austin's work ethic. For one thing, it seems as if it was his father who wanted to tap into the dynastic-marriage thing to boost his business, not Austin.

Plus, Austin seems to be drawn to a job where there's actual work to do. Whereas it seems to me that Der, Bin and Jer were all drawn to their "professions" mostly because they like to stand around and tell other people what to do and think. That puts them a lot closer to the total-lazy-grifter category than Austin, I think. 

Edited March 2, 2019 by Churchhoney

[FizzyPuff]

5 hours ago, floridamom said:

Ben should become a real-world qualified teacher. I think he has a knack for it. HOWEVER, there is no sane reason why a guy who is married and has his own children should be nanny-teaching his little brother and sisters-in-law. This grown man needs his own means of support, like a real job, and begin educating his own children. Those scenes really emasculated Ben IMO. Jessa and JB really to have Ben's balls in a jar on their night stands. It looked demeaning to me for Ben to have been shown doing this.

The behavior of the Duggar children in a grocery store still was appalling to me. I really doubt that they go anywhere outside of their 'bubble". Who acts like that in a supermarket? No need for Jackson and Johanna to have been lumped in with Jenny and Josie for that math lesson, even for TV sake. Jackson should be doing 9th grade work or better. Don't they claim that their homeschooling curriculum is superior to brick and mortar schools? Yes, they have. Those children have no set school schedule and that is not good for continuity in learning.

When I was watching this all I could think was if Ben has a job how has he got the time for this? If Ben does have a job though then JB must be his boss, I could easily see JB saying to Ben “Today your gonna pretend your a teacher” and Ben just going along with it. If someone had to tutor the kids why not Jessa? After all didn’t she help with the homeschooling when she lived at home? Also Jessa could’ve said something like Ben would’ve loved this, Looks at camera, but he’s working. In Jessa’s mind( autocorrect wanted to change Jessa too Jesus!!!) “see I told them my hubby has a job on camera now everyone will stop asking me what Ben does all day”. 

Edited March 2, 2019 by Puffin

[MamaMax]

I think Bin's parents were just pretty aware of Bin's weaknesses and encouraged the marriage because they were afraid he was going to get laid either way, and knew he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. 

Pragmatic, IMO.