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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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I'm tellin ya........

#2 shall be Cotton Mather Seewald

#3 will sport Brocklehurst Lowood Seewald

Won't matter if the babes are boy or girl because nicknames will be.....

Quasimodo......Quasi for short (cause Jessa's gotta love the Beauty and the Beast trope).

Quinnipiac.....or, Quinn (cause Ben's gotta long for the good ole days when Native Americans were forcibly converted).

Can't wait.

Btw, does it squee anyone else that Captain Jessa included her mom-in-law when Jess "assembled her team of midwives" (per PEOPLE)? I personally think that's a bridge too far, but maybe that's just me. As it is, I have a hard time reconciling the virginal, unkissed, unhugged Duggar maidens with the childbirth Hollywood-extravaganza events they are happy to film. I really think they're nuts.

  • Love 11
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Maybe Bin won't be able to feel that loving feeling toward Jessa anymore. Boy might be traumatized and wouldn't that be sad to have 8 years between babies.

I wonder if he has an Ashley Madison account?

Edited by BrianJ62
  • Love 1
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I think Ben's head is swelling since Jessa has made him her headship and leader in all things.  The name Spurgeon was probably Ben's idea of trying desperately to seem mature and worthy of godly worship.  He couldn't just name the baby 'Charles' after Spurgeon because he had to make sure everyone knew his son was named after a preacher that Ben is familiar with.  Just like Ben lists himself as a 'writer' on his social media he's trying to seem more mature than his 20 year old self really is whose only job right now is to be Jessa's headship and now Spurgeon's father and leader in all things.  I think that's why his birthday video to Jessa was so bland and passionless - he thinks he's being mature.

 

 

THIS. This is so exactly what I've been thinking about Bin. It explains the beard, too. I had to bow my head in deference to his fathomless parental wisdom when he seriously explained, "He's going to have this name for the rest of his life." Deep, Bin-boy, very deep.

THIS and THIS !!! 

 

I'm afraid I'm using the word "insufferable" far too much lately, but it's really the only word that fits. Seems like Ben is just throwing things against the wall and seeing what sticks when it comes to appearing to be mature. He has the all-growed-up man-beard, he's smiling less and less, tries to look pensive and thoughtful when he should be beaming over his new son, and has done everything short of posing as Rodin's The Thinker...

 

It's fairly typical of kids his age to be like this - so damnably ernest, where everything is an issue worthy of protest, and every utterance becomes a battle cry - but he's not some hipster doofus protesting the lack of vegan options at his college cafeteria, he's a husband and father. 

 

A husband and father with no job, no prospects, a new baby he seems overwhelmed by, a vapid, selfish wife who gets more Mean Girl every day, and a family by marriage that he appears to be chained to (and beholden to) forever and ever. 

 

For the love of God (no pun intended), they just had a healthy baby. Isn't this the time to praise God (if you're in to that) for the little miracle that is your baby rather than focus on sin and the evil world? Can't they ever celebrate the goodness of God instead of fear the wrath? Their version of religion is so depressing I wonder why they bother to reproduce at all. Try a little grace sometimes, it might be a refreshing change!

ETA: I'd like to think that Jesus would tell them to lighten up.

All of this from an atheist, mind you.

My Post of the Day, MargeGunderson !!!  If this is their version of a God to give your heart and soul to then thanks, but I'll pass ! 

 

Where there should be song there is a dirge. Where there should be praise there is admonition. Where there should be celebration there is warning. 

 

Their religious beliefs should come with a side order of Prozac and a tumbler of Jack Daniel's. 

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Quite a few of the leghumpers have posted there is nothing sexier than seeing your man holding a baby. 

 

I disagree.  It's much sexier to see him holding a vacuum cleaner.  And a  mop.

But Bin usually holds a toilet scrubbing brush does he not? A vacuum cleaner is expnentially higher on the sexy meter!

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This whole name thing makes me think of a joke, I don't know how many people are familiar with UT (University of Texas), but during football season there is a running joke regarding one of their rivals OU, where they say "it's 7:24, and OU still sucks" (I'm indifferent when it comes to football, I'm just quoting the joke, I have so strong feelings either way)... But it just makes me think of poor little Spurgeon, "it's 9:18, and the name still sucks."

  • Love 8
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Quite a few of the leghumpers have posted there is nothing sexier than seeing your man holding a baby. 

 

I disagree.  It's much sexier to see him holding a vacuum cleaner.  And a  mop. 

 

It would be much sexier to see him holding a job!

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Sproul.  But he was a Calvinist and I get the impression the Duggars are not.  Besides, since R.C. Sproul, Jr. got suspended for admitting he visited Ashley Madison (and has also faced allegations of serving alcohol to minors and using another church's tax id illegally), I can't see them wanting to use that one.

The Seewalds are Vison Forum devotees, so they lean heavily on Calvinist doctrines. Pa Seewalds' screeds reek of it, as do Ben's to a certain degree. I'd love for them to use Sproul, just so I could call that poor mite Spanky. Any of you old-school FJ members know how Spanky got that nickname. This was before Ashley Madison...sexual deviancy seems to be problematic for him.

 

So yeah, Spanky Seewald. LOLOLOLOL

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Or he has a fetish... 

 

Either way, ole Sproul Jr.'s goose is pretty much cooked. 

 

However Ben, and people like him, tend to martyr these idiots. Sproul Seewald would keep the stupid alliteration train chugging along, and I'd get to call him Spanky. Win-win! 

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Love 2
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Maybe Bin won't be able to feel that loving feeling toward Jessa anymore. Boy might be traumatized and wouldn't that be sad to have 8 years between babies.

 

That's actually been known to happen, and it's destroyed some marriages because Daddy just couldn't recover from the reality of it.  Just proof again that we women are the stronger!

  • Love 5
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Well Guinn (sp?) was present at the birth so I'm assuming she was part of the team.

To me, there's a huge and significant difference between being present at your grandchild's birth versus being an actual midwife during the labor and delivery. I mean, unless a woman in labor is living in a remote jungle or on a tundra or among the Walking Dead, and there's nobody other than zombies or her mother-in-law to assist, I say leave Mother-in-Law out of the equation! I'd opt for the zombies. Ha!

(It's six months since Spurgeon Elliot Seewald made his debut. Grandma Seewald asks to speak privately to Jessa and Ben [that is, with only one TLC camera operator present with a handheld]. "Jessa dear, now that some time has passed, I wanted to mention that I noticed a strange, disturbing abnormality in your anatomy while I was examining your nether regions. Please get that checked! I say this with pure mother-in-law love. Cause I really care about you!") ;)

I personally don't think Ben actually looked at the mechanics of childbirth at all. Too scary and "gross" for him. Oh, I'm sure Ben acted a good part, but he either squeezed his eyes shut or gave himself a safe focal point like Jessa's knee. Ben is just out of his teens! He doesn't want to see that stuff! :)

The Duggars don't do christenings, I assume? Because, since they're important celebs now, I'd love it if they asked fellow-celeb Madonna to sing "Like a Spurgeon" as entertainment at the baptism party. No, wait. Her name is Madonna. Never mind. :D

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To me, there's a huge and significant difference between being present at your grandchild's birth versus being an actual midwife during the labor and delivery. I mean, unless a woman in labor is living in a remote jungle or on a tundra or among the Walking Dead, and there's nobody other than zombies or her mother-in-law to assist, I say leave Mother-in-Law out of the equation! I'd opt for the zombies. Ha!

(It's six months since Spurgeon Elliot Seewald made his debut. Grandma Seewald asks to speak privately to Jessa and Ben [that is, with only one TLC camera operator present with a handheld]. "Jessa dear, now that some time has passed, I wanted to mention that I noticed a strange, disturbing abnormality in your anatomy while I was examining your nether regions. Please get that checked! I say this with pure mother-in-law love. Cause I really care about you!") ;)

I personally don't think Ben actually looked at the mechanics of childbirth at all. Too scary and "gross" for him. Oh, I'm sure Ben acted a good part, but he either squeezed his eyes shut or gave himself a safe focal point like Jessa's knee. Ben is just out of his teens! He doesn't want to see that stuff! :)

The Duggars don't do christenings, I assume? Because, since they're important celebs now, I'd love it if they asked fellow-celeb Madonna to sing "Like a Spurgeon" as entertainment at the baptism party. No, wait. Her name is Madonna. Never mind. :D

No christenings and baptisms are when they are older. But Madonna, and maybe Weird Al too, at the celebration would be awesome!

 

Still laughing at "fellow-celeb"

.

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I'll stick with Bam Bam, much nicer.

 

I do think that Bin is somewhat traumatised by the birth, lots of men are when they see the reality of childbirth. It's not pretty, is it?

 

Their religion is hate filled, full of fear and threats and very little joy. So sad for those children.

 

Bin is an idiot, of course. I wonder what all those leg humpers would say if they strip the pseudo religious fakery and all that is left would be two near teenagers with a child, jobless, no education, no money......

  • Love 7
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I think Ben's head is swelling since Jessa has made him her headship and leader in all things. The name Spurgeon was probably Ben's idea of trying desperately to seem mature and worthy of godly worship. He couldn't just name the baby 'Charles' after Spurgeon because he had to make sure everyone knew his son was named after a preacher that Ben is familiar with. Just like Ben lists himself as a 'writer' on his social media he's trying to seem more mature than his 20 year old self really is whose only job right now is to be Jessa's headship and now Spurgeon's father and leader in all things. I think that's why his birthday video to Jessa was so bland and passionless - he thinks he's being mature.

I think this is spot-on; it reminds me of all the people who name their kid Gatsby because they just ~*love*~ The Great Gatsby...like that's great, but the main character's name is Jay. It was written by Francis Scott Fitzgerald. Any of those names would've equally honored the book, but they went with Gatsby to seem more highbrow and well-read than everyone else (which is ridiculous when you realize that The Great Gatsby is required reading for almost every high school student).

Bin and Blessa basically chose this method of naming their child. They could have named him Charles Elliot and explained the namesake on their instagrams and in People magazine, but i don't think it's the namesake they care about, but rather the "we're so much more pious than you" feeling the namesake gives them.

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Are there any pictures out there with the Seewalds & Baby Spurge? I'm not on social media so I have to depend on you all posting here. Just seems weird that since Spurgey is the first grandchild on their side, we would see a lot of pictures. Or are they old school & just not putting them out there for everyone to see?

This came to mind & don't know why. In our church during the Christmas Eve service, they have members of the church portray Jesus' birth, including an infant baby. I can imagine Jill & Jessa fighting over which baby would portray Jesus. I would say Spurgey since he is younger & would still have his newborn look but I'm sure Jill would put up a good fight for Izzy (now known as ChooChoo.) Of course, the respective parents would have to play Mary & Joseph, which I picture looking more raggy & disheveled like the Dullards. I can't picture Mary being all dolled up with full makeup like Jessa. Hopefully Mary wouldn't have the need to nurse Jesus in front of the congregation during the service. (Think back to the Xmas parade episode where MEchelle nursed whatever baby while on the parade route.)

8yvmsz.jpg

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Bin and Blessa basically chose this method of naming their child. They could have named him Charles Elliot and explained the namesake on their instagrams and in People magazine, but i don't think it's the namesake they care about, but rather the "we're so much more pious than you" feeling the namesake gives them.

 

I also think it's a way for the poor child to be forever reminded of how pious he is supposed to be. Bin and Jessa probably hope that every time he writes that horrible name he'll have to think of the original Spurgeon. Charles and Elliot are normal names, but Spurgeon? That's some shit to live up to. No doubt he'll be forced to memorize some of his sermons and recite them. 

  • Love 4
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I'm tellin ya........

#2 shall be Cotton Mather Seewald

 

 

I will admit that this thought also crossed my mind, though the history nerd in me hoped they'd go for William Bradford.  Then I realized that would require these people to open an actual history book. 

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I'm starting to imagine Spurgeon`s whole childhood turning into some kind of reverse . GYPSY thing. Jessa and Ben's lifelong quest to make Spurgeon a celebrity televangelist.

"Watch out, Spurgeon, Mama's going make you a star!"

It could happen.

  • Love 4
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I think some of y'all have hit the nail on the head about what's bugging me about Benessa. There's no joy there (and I don't mean J.O.Y., although there's none of that either). Everything is So Serious and if you aren't Serious you're going straight to hell. They don't seem to find humor or happiness in anything. And don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor, Bin. Look at some of the crazy things He's made--giraffes, elephants, pelicans, clouds, penises. The guy has a funny bone.

 

I'm not married, but one of the things I would look for in a husband is the ability to make me laugh and to laugh with me. I can't imagine how depressing and quiet it must be at Benessa's house.

I agree. Laughter is one of Mr. Barb's better qualities & after 31 years of marriage, he still makes me smile & laugh. Our anniversary was last week & we still found different wedding memories to laugh at. Laughter & joy is definitely missing from the Duggar Family and now it looks like the lack of it is being passed to the next generation. How sad.

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He's a big-time Calvinist, it appears. The Duggs didn't seem to be, but Ben has a lot of Calvinist stuff going on. Vision Forum had Calvinist leanings, and I gather the Seewalds were involved with it for a while at least.

One has to be surprised that the wee Seewald was not named Driscoll, then.

 

I'm guessing Mark Driscoll's holier-than-thou Gospel, pop culture affectations, and complementarianism would be right up Bin's alley. Well, except for the smoking, drinking and listening to rock n' roll.

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Maybe seeing a birth will slow Benny down from reproduction. There's always his hand

Bin can't use his hand - it's sinful!  he must only use his penis in a vagina for the purpose of procreation.  Otherwise he is damned to hell, at least in his warped, angry, hate-filled mind. 

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I'm hoping for Creflo Dollar Seewald for number 2. Taffy Dollar if it's a girl. I'm surprised they didn't use Benson for the first one. Or Benny Hinn Seewald.

Creflo Dollar!  Your baby can also ask the congregation to pay for a private plane for you!!  Holla.

  • Love 4
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It's all the heavy baggage that goes with the name. . . .

 THIS. Hell, I wouldn't even name a child GRACE -- a name i consider quite lovely--because I'm a klutz and was afraid the name would be too much for a daughter of mine to live up to.

I work in a hospital and on our forms along with the space for the legal names, we have one for preferred name, and that goes on their notes, armband etc., so that they're always called by the name they use, especially when coming around from anaesthetic. Until I worked here, I had no idea how many people go by names that don't seem at all related to their legal given name (and I've always wondered, if they don't use their given name, why don't they just change it, but it's not something we're allowed to ask).

So at least with that, he shouldn't actually have any issues.

It's super if your hospital is that accommodating, but as a person who goes by her middle name and has been a patient in a buttload of doctor's offices and hospitals in four states, I have had a very different experience. My name is whatever Blue Cross says it is, and they're going with the first name on my Social Security card. Sure, the staff at the chiropractor's office knows which name to call me because they see me all the time, but the anesthesiologist and MRI technician don't give two craps what I want to be called. They just want to make sure they're treating the correct patient.

Edited by Portia
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I think Ben's face shows the utter horror of what he saw happen to Jessa's lady parts (that he couldn't wait to get into & was probably so excited about ever since they started courting & throughout their marriage) during the birth. I imagine it was terrifying for a young, naive boy like Ben to watch his most beloved part of his beloved's anatomy basically bursting open (and possibly tearing) as a slimy baby & gross looking placenta came out only to be followed by shark-attack levels of blood being discharged from it for days/weeks. I doubt Ben ever watched any of those videos of a baby being born that many of us saw in school in Sex Ed or biology class or any documentaries like "The Business of Being Born," since you know, he might have been defrauded and all. My guess is young Ben is in shock over what he saw happen to Jessa's vagina.

This ^^^^^^, plus if Bin eats peanut butter and bacon sandwiches and starts shooting a gun at his TV (well, maybe Jezza's  MacBook, since they supposedly don't have a TV) , then we'll know he's the reincarnation of Elvis.

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Quincy is adorable. I just can't bring myself to call that beautiful baby "Spurgeon." The name sounds like a poisonous species of mold.

I still wish they would call him by his middle name.  Such a handsome name.

 

Sigh.

 

Maybe when he is older and tires of saying "No Spurgeon, no 'surgeon'" he will grow a backbone and say "Call me Elliot"

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I still wish they would call him by his middle name. Such a handsome name.

Sigh.

Maybe when he is older and tires of saying "No Spurgeon, no 'surgeon'" he will grow a backbone and say "Call me Elliot"

I agree. Elliott is a classy name, even if it's not commonly used today. My understanding is the family is calling him Quincy, so what was the point of going with Spurgeon Elliott if they weren't going to use either name? Quincy isn't even an offshoot, nickname or anything remotely close to the original.

  • Love 6
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I think some of y'all have hit the nail on the head about what's bugging me about Benessa. There's no joy there (and I don't mean J.O.Y., although there's none of that either). Everything is So Serious and if you aren't Serious you're going straight to hell. They don't seem to find humor or happiness in anything. And don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor, Bin. Look at some of the crazy things He's made--giraffes, elephants, pelicans, clouds, penises. The guy has a funny bone.

 

I'm not married, but one of the things I would look for in a husband is the ability to make me laugh and to laugh with me. I can't imagine how depressing and quiet it must be at Benessa's house. 

Perfect post! And yes penises, you don't see pants accentuating 'side penis' for a reason.

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What a sweet family picture. Mommy and Daddy too busy looking at themselves to notice their newborn. I have a feeling the tone is set for little Spurgy.

I get almost nauseous looking at those two but that baby is downright adorable. He's one of the cutest newborns I've seen.

  • Love 3
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