Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Joan of Argh]

On 11/8/2019 at 8:32 AM, NotthebadVictoria said:

Just watched the episode and it dawned on me, the “gender guessing party” was Blehssa smugly taunting everyone that she won’t tell the gender. What a bitch, there’s bitchy and then just a bitch. Who throws a party to taunt your family that “I know something you don’t know”. These morons really do have the emotional maturity of a child. She really enjoyed that attention, I don’t know who I dislike more, her or Lauren. 

A very long time ago I liked Jessa but then I started to notice what a dumb bitch she is.

I wanted someone to stick out their leg and trip her smug ass when they hid for their first kiss after wedding..... I mean Jesus you have guests and the *kiss* isn't really just for the bride and groom it's for everyone to celebrate but once again Jessa acted like a jerk and Ben goose stepped right along behind her.

Looks like nothing has changed she's still being a jerk and Ben follows.  🙄

[Joan of Argh]

On 11/14/2019 at 8:32 PM, DangerousMinds said:

Eh, I think Jessa is incredibly boring, too. She has never shown interest in anything outside her bubble. Even Jill had “midwifery “ and Jinger had photography. Bin at least shows interest in school and music. I don’t think Jessa is particularly smart, either.

I agree... I think Jessa is boring and she has no sense of humour.

I remember when she was out for tea with Michelle and telling her how Ben would say things when they were courting like "I'm gonna buy you a million roses" or something like that and all she can say is "where would I put them" and she had this dumb look on her face .... Jeeez bitch it's not meant to be taken literally... It's a declaration of love and it was Ben trying to be sweet in his own awkward teenager kind of way. 

I can barely stand episodes like the $60 romantic date contest.... Watching the couples gives me the creeps because during the TH's it's like watching two 12 yr olds flirt and talk about kissing and shit.... They're all so sickeningly silly when it comes to anything with romance or sex.

[madpsych78]

I think if Jessa had grown up in a more secular family, she would be touted as the more logical woman of reason. Girlfriend is definitely not emotional.

[Sew Sumi]

Additionally, she's definitely humorless (good observation @Joan of Argh) and utterly without charm.

[Lunera]

All these fundie couples, especially the very young ones, would have definitely benefited from some birth control or abstinence for at least 2 years after marriage. Bringing in a baby 9 months after marrying someone you barely know is a recipe for disaster. 

Definitely not possible with this sex and baby obsessed family. 

I remember Jessa saying she wanted to wait 3 years before having a baby. In your dreams. 🙄 

[Sew Sumi]

Jessa had two babies 3 years in, then waited. She did it all bass ackwards.

[Temperance]

Well it may be easier to wait if you're breast-feeding.

I disagree strongly that a couple should have to a first kiss before an audience. Especially if it's a first kiss in their entire lives. Both Jessa and Ben came from sheltered Christian family that wouldn't let them kiss before hand. Usually couples nowadays have had sex before the wedding. It's not traditional  (at least not for Catholics). It came into the Catholic Church within my mother's lifetime. I've been to weddings and I've never cared that much about the kiss nor can I remember the kiss. 

And the most important reason not to kiss in public is that Jessa wasn't comfortable with it and no one should have to touch someone if they're not comfortable. The public isn't owed PDA.  One of my pet peeves with fundies is that people should get to make their own decisions about their own bodies and how they touch each other consensually. 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Temperance

[GeeGolly]

I believe the reason Jessa and Ben didn't have their first kiss at the alter is because it wasn't their first kiss. The pastor was filmed saying not kissing before marriage was not in the Bible.

Couples of all religions have been having sex prior marriage for eons. Many 8 lb premature babies have been born 7 or 8 months post wedding. Nevermind all the women who were shamed for having babies out of wedlock.

I have no idea what the Bible says about sex, but I'm guessing it emphasizes a few other things as well. 

The "Christian" lessons I've learned from the Duggars to think of Jesus and others before yourself and everything else revolves around sex. Dress modestly, don't dance, don't touch, don't date, don't kiss and whatever you do, don't have sex before marriage and don't use birth control. Oh, and the other lessons revolve around hate suppression and oppression.

So Jessa and Ben are toeing the line just as they've been taught - with the exception of their 'first' kiss. 

[crazycatlady58]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I believe the reason Jessa and Ben didn't have their first kiss at the alter is because it wasn't their first kiss. The pastor was filmed saying not kissing before marriage was not in the Bible.

Couples of all religions have been having sex prior marriage for eons. Many 8 lb premature babies have been born 7 or 8 months post wedding. Nevermind all the women who were shamed for having babies out of wedlock.

I have no idea what the Bible says about sex, but I'm guessing it emphasizes a few other things as well. 

The "Christian" lessons I've learned from the Duggars to think of Jesus and others before yourself and everything else revolves around sex. Dress modestly, don't dance, don't touch, don't date, don't kiss and whatever you do, don't have sex before marriage and don't use birth control. Oh, and the other lessons revolve around hate suppression and oppression.

So Jessa and Ben are toeing the line just as they've been taught - with the exception of their 'first' kiss. 

That is sad, I would hope if you watched me the Christian lesson you would learn is " Love one another."

[galaxychaser]

Sex pest haha

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7702421/Jessa-Duggar-says-difficult-watch-two-year-old-son-Henry-struggle-speech-delays.html

[Sew Sumi]

[xwordfanatik]

Cute picture.  Henry doesn't look impressed.  I hope he's catching up.  He's adorable.

[anna0852]

James Herriott is a wonderful book to be reading to the kids. And not fundie at all. Good job Jessa (now don't blow it with a diaper mountain)

[Oldernowiser]

That stockpot and colander those kids are playing with...

1) look very expensive 

2) look like they’ve never been used.

[JoanArc]

29 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

That stockpot and colander those kids are playing with...

1) look very expensive 

2) look like they’ve never been used.

Probably bought from Amazon for just that photo.

[Sew Sumi]

I don't understand the colander without feet. How do you drain out the bottom if it's sitting flush in the sink?

[Natalie68]

29 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I don't understand the colander without feet. How do you drain out the bottom if it's sitting flush in the sink?

Does it go in the pot like a pasta pot thingie?  Otherwise I am with you curious about how that would work.

[Sew Sumi]

That's the only use for it that I could come up with. But how was the pasta first drained? 

[ginger90]

[JoanArc]

“Amazon is a thrift store now!” - Jessa

[Jynnan tonnix]

2 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

Does it go in the pot like a pasta pot thingie?  Otherwise I am with you curious about how that would work.

I have a few colander/sieve type things. The biggest one is the only one with feet. If I'm using one of the others, I either drain the pot with one hand while holding the colander (with an oven mitt) in the other, then put it back on top of the the pot to drain, or, if it's one of the smaller ones, perch it on the dish rack and let it drain into the sink. Sometimes I just balance it between the two sinks on the divider, but there have certainly been times where that didn't turn out quite as well as I'd anticipated.

[crazy8s]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

bin just happens to open the door to all those packages on the porch, while Jessa just happens to be in the front yard to get a pic of him being shocked.....

[Sew Sumi]

I rolled my eyes so hard when that came across my feed yesterday. I didn't deem it post-worthy. 😁

[drafan]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

I hope one of those boxes contains a power-washer for those front steps.

[Oldernowiser]

In that photo Bin looks like a semi-poor, three-mistresses-removed, fourth cousin of a Saudi prince.

[BitterApple]

1 minute ago, drafan said:

I hope one of those boxes contains a power-washer for those front steps.

For two people who don't work, Ben and Jessa's house sure is a dump. They don't seem to take any pride in it at all. 

[MaryAnneSpier]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

For two people who don't work, Ben and Jessa's house sure is a dump. They don't seem to take any pride in it at all. 

It's because it was given to them. 
People who actually work for what they have tend to take pride in it, so therefore they're more inclined to take proper care of it. I noticed this when I was in high school. I bought my own car and drove carefully, kept it clean, maintained it, etc. Many of my fellow classmates were given their car and drove a little more recklessly and didn't seem to take any sense of adult responsibility with theirs. 

[awaken]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Oh poor, befuddled Bin. 

[Kiss my mutt]

He reminds me of the caveman lawyer from snl 

[galaxychaser]

He looks like a confused child looking for mommy 

[mynextmistake]

2 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

He looks like a confused child looking for mommy 

Perhaps he was afraid that Jim Bob was going to jump out of the largest box and hand him a toilet plunger.

[GeeGolly]

6 hours ago, drafan said:

I hope one of those boxes contains a power-washer for those front steps.

And trim for the doorway and a stump grinder for the dead tree and a broom and hedge trimmer.

[queenanne]

I thought I had that colander (Oxo I think?), but then I remembered that mine had triangular feet as well, so now I'm just stumped.  It is a really nice colander; but of course I can't speak to its comfort upon the head 🤣.  I had to farm it out to an aunt after I switched boroughs (I gained in overall location what I lost in kitchen, and had no more room for such a kitchen behemoth).

Ivy looks as if she is actually reading the book (aw!).

[galaxygirl76]

He's probably confused where all th money for those boxes came from since no one works. 

[lascuba]

On 11/18/2019 at 11:01 PM, Joan of Argh said:

I agree... I think Jessa is boring and she has no sense of humour.

I remember when she was out for tea with Michelle and telling her how Ben would say things when they were courting like "I'm gonna buy you a million roses" or something like that and all she can say is "where would I put them" and she had this dumb look on her face .... Jeeez bitch it's not meant to be taken literally... It's a declaration of love and it was Ben trying to be sweet in his own awkward teenager kind of way. 

I can barely stand episodes like the $60 romantic date contest.... Watching the couples gives me the creeps because during the TH's it's like watching two 12 yr olds flirt and talk about kissing and shit.... They're all so sickeningly silly when it comes to anything with romance or sex.

Jessa definitely lacks a sense of humor but I will always defend her reaction to Ben's asinine, generic attempt at "romance." Yeah, Ben was a teenager but he had to know at that point that Jessa wasn't into flowery language like that and he still kept pushing it because he wasn't courting Jessa, he was courting his idea of what all girls are and all girls like "romantic" language like that. If Michelle were any kind of mother she would have pointed out that maybe Jessa and Ben were incompatible instead of pushing the idea that women have to always cater to men's feelings. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

59 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Jessa definitely lacks a sense of humor but I will always defend her reaction to Ben's asinine, generic attempt at "romance." Yeah, Ben was a teenager but he had to know at that point that Jessa wasn't into flowery language like that and he still kept pushing it because he wasn't courting Jessa, he was courting his idea of what all girls are and all girls like "romantic" language like that. If Michelle were any kind of mother she would have pointed out that maybe Jessa and Ben were incompatible instead of pushing the idea that women have to always cater to men's feelings. 

Still, it kind of comes down to the "love language" thing, and if one of Ben's ways of showing affection is flowery language, she should still appreciate that he is demonstrating his feelings. Mr. Jyn's ways of showing affection tend to be through gifts and acts of service, where I would generally much prefer affirmation and physical affection - but those things aren't "him". So I've learned to appreciate that he does, indeed, show affection, even if it's in ways I wouldn't choose. Likewise, he knows that if I feel snuggly and/or praise him, it's my way of showing affection, even though he doesn't necessarily need those things. 

I don't think it means they are not compatible, or that she would be catering to his feelings without a thought for herself, just that understanding each others' differences and appreciating efforts. even if they are not your preference, is a good thing.

Edited November 23, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[Zahdii]

I've been hearing about 'love languages' for years.  I get that it's how people show affection, but where did the term come from?  Is it another 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus' type of book?

[Temperance]

5 hours ago, Zahdii said:

I've been hearing about 'love languages' for years.  I get that it's how people show affection, but where did the term come from?  Is it another 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus' type of book?

Yes the book is The Five Love Languages and the guy who wrote it is fundie-lite. 

[cmr2014]

7 hours ago, lascuba said:

Jessa definitely lacks a sense of humor but I will always defend her reaction to Ben's asinine, generic attempt at "romance." Yeah, Ben was a teenager but he had to know at that point that Jessa wasn't into flowery language like that and he still kept pushing it because he wasn't courting Jessa, he was courting his idea of what all girls are and all girls like "romantic" language like that. If Michelle were any kind of mother she would have pointed out that maybe Jessa and Ben were incompatible instead of pushing the idea that women have to always cater to men's feelings. 

I agree 100%. 

@Jynnan tonnix is right that it wouldn't hurt Jessa to show some appreciation for Ben's "love language," but why does it ALWAYS have to be the woman who accommodates and makes changes? If Ben "loves" Jessa so very much, shouldn't that imply that he KNOWS something about her -- and CARES how she feels. It didn't occur to Ben for one minute to TALK to her, to LISTEN to her, and to demonstrate to her that he HEARD her.

This is a big pet peeve of mine, and I truly hope and believe that we are making some headway in changing the way we raise boys.

[lookeyloo]

11 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I agree 100%. 

@Jynnan tonnix is right that it wouldn't hurt Jessa to show some appreciation for Ben's "love language," but why does it ALWAYS have to be the woman who accommodates and makes changes? If Ben "loves" Jessa so very much, shouldn't that imply that he KNOWS something about her -- and CARES how she feels. It didn't occur to Ben for one minute to TALK to her, to LISTEN to her, and to demonstrate to her that he HEARD her.

This is a big pet peeve of mine, and I truly hope and believe that we are making some headway in changing the way we raise boys.

I too don't know why people don't talk.  Mr. lookeyloo and I had different ideas about things early on, but, I insisted on talking about them.  He was always afraid I was going to break up with him.  Once he was convinced I wasn't, it became easier.  I think we have both changed our "love language" or whatever it is, to more accommodate the recipient.  He is way more romantic than I am, and I know it pleases him if I make some effort, but, on the other hand, he is very agreeable to doing what I like, which isn't always the same thing.  If Ben and Jessa would really sit down and talk about things they might both get most of what they want.  I am guessing there is no role model, except Jessa has been taught about the "anyone can make him a sandwich, blah blah blah".  It would have to come on their radar that they can talk like adults and figure out how to make each other happy enough.

But, who am I kidding.  

[jcbrown]

14 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

And trim for the doorway and a stump grinder for the dead tree and a broom and hedge trimmer.

You're right--I never noticed before that the door has no casing. It looks really really cheap and unfinished.

[drafan]

On 11/18/2019 at 11:01 PM, Joan of Argh said:

I remember when she was out for tea with Michelle

I read this quickly and thought Jessa was out with Lea Michelle (from Glee)...then I remembered that must be JinJer.

Edited November 23, 2019 by drafan

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, jcbrown said:

You're right--I never noticed before that the door has no casing. It looks really really cheap and unfinished.

I'm kind of ashamed that I noticed this, but Jessa's kitchen had no cabinet knobs early on, but they were added at some point.  That seemed very cheap to me.

[Growsonwalls]

On 11/21/2019 at 6:35 PM, Sew Sumi said:

Whoa. James Herriot books advocate kindness to animals. I hope the Seewalds eventually have a pet that won't be abandoned like the poor little Vuolo kitty.

[Churchhoney]

11 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Still, it kind of comes down to the "love language" thing, and if one of Ben's ways of showing affection is flowery language, she should still appreciate that he is demonstrating his feelings. Mr. Jyn's ways of showing affection tend to be through gifts and acts of service, where I would generally much prefer affirmation and physical affection - but those things aren't "him". So I've learned to appreciate that he does, indeed, show affection, even if it's in ways I wouldn't choose. Likewise, he knows that if I feel snuggly and/or praise him, it's my way of showing affection, even though he doesn't necessarily need those things. 

I don't think it means they are not compatible, or that she would be catering to his feelings without a thought for herself, just that understanding each others' differences and appreciating efforts. even if they are not your preference, is a good thing.

Yeah, I agree. If being compatible meant that all your communication styles and so on had to match, I'm not sure any of us would find compatible mates. There are just too many details like that that make up a person. 

That said, both people need to learn to appreciate the others' differences.....and sometimes at least try to give the other person what they want...... Not so easy to do in practice, of course....The Duggs and adjacents tend to talk a good game about giving thought to how they treat their partners, but I'm not very inclined to believe it -- coming from any of them......

Edited November 24, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Churchhoney]

3 hours ago, jcbrown said:

You're right--I never noticed before that the door has no casing. It looks really really cheap and unfinished.

...and really weird with the brick on the right there....Clearly the builder who put that brick there stopped the brick work where a door frame would be......It's hard to tell whether there never was one or whether one that was there early on succumbed to mold or bad carpentry or something and had to be ripped off and nobody replaced it. But I'd guess the latter. 

Edited November 24, 2019 by Churchhoney

[galaxychaser]

I hope they never get a pet. Their house is filthy enough as is. Plus the kids would probably abuse it.

I knew someone at work years ago whose kids killed like 5 guinea pigs. She kept replacing them. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I was thinking the boxes had a demolition crew in them to raze the house. 

[galaxychaser]

Or a maid to clean up the diaper mountain.

[Marigny]

On 11/10/2019 at 3:05 PM, xwordfanatik said:

Permits are for heathens.  The godly Duggars don't bother with those pesky details.

This needs to be on a t-shirt.