Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Meow25]

Regarding the co-sleeping:

This is GOOD.  You have to know that the belief of her parents, and all fundies, is that babies are evil sinners -even at birth- and crying for "no reason" is punishable.  I was told by a fundie grandma once that I should be spanking my 6 month old baby who had colic because it was "the devil inside her".  

Cosleeping is completely against any Gothard material I've read.  This is a woman who was raised to stay on a blanket as a baby.  If she moved off the blanket she was hit.  

Jessa should be applauded for this.  This is a HUGE move from what she was raised in.  This is attachment parenting, and is the TOTAL opposite of what the Pearl's would have taught.  I don't think everyone understands what a but F-U this would be to Michelle.  This is basic parenting principles to the fundies:  the kid sleeps when you tell it to.  Crying it out isn't even the beginning of what they do.  

[DangerousMinds]

Are we sure they are co-sleeping though?

[xwordfanatik]

45 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I'm sure they did. Duggars get love offerings, they don't give them.

Absolutely.  Like my long departed dad said about one of his bosses, "he doesn't get headaches, he gives them."

Just their out-of-control breeding, says that they take way more than what they give.

[saylubee]

10 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Are we sure they are co-sleeping though?

Jessa said they were at one point with Spurgeon.

[Meow25]

11 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Are we sure they are co-sleeping though?

No, but even the idea is crazy considering what she grew up with.  As a former cosleeper (my youngest is 10) we positioned the pillow exactly the way it's positioned in that bed...my guess was that he at least was napping in that bed.  

[SMama]

On 8/14/2018 at 9:17 AM, beagletime said:

In the comments of her post, Jessa said during the night Henry got into bed with them.  

How did Henry manage getting into the bed? That one year old has mad skillz.

[ginger90]

Video 

 

 

[jcbrown]

29 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Video 

 

 

Okay, this is cute. I'm glad to see that she lets her kids do some "normal" things instead of going all control freak on them. And since she says they're at TTH, they don't have to worry about hosing off before they come in. They'll still probably be cleaner than the floors in that place.

[BitterApple]

I'm happy to see the boys splashing around in shorts. I remember the Duggar boys suffocating in jeans during the hot summer months.

[RedheadZombie]

22 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Video 

 

 

Oh this brings back memories.  It looks like it just stopped raining. When I was a kid, it was hell waiting for the rain to stop - sort of like the kids in Cat in the Hat.  The instant I got the all clear from my mom, I would race outside and splash and look for where the water drained, and search for where the worms popped up.  I lived in a small culdesac and I could safely investigate everything within.  

[Christina87]

On 8/14/2018 at 12:49 PM, 3 is enough said:

Jessa has talked about Ben going to work in the past.  It is entirely possible that he does have a part time job somewhere that requires him to wear nicer clothing. It isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility that he has some sort of entry level office job- he did get an associate's degree a couple of years ago.  And that his employer was not on board with cameras being present at their place of business, so it is simply not mentioned. I'm sure they get the shooting schedule ahead of time and he can arrange his shifts accordingly. I really think Jessa is shrewd enough to realize that they need as much money coming in as possible.  Even on the off chance that Jim Bob does not control the money from the show, the number of married couples and adult single Duggars that would get some sort of compensation is growing, so each couple's chunk of the TLC pie is really not that big.

I think this is a good theory, but I'd think they would mention the fact that he does have an outside job at some point, even if they didn't say what or where it was. It would be too appealing for their reputation! If people are constantly criticizing you for not having a real job, it would be hard to keep it a secret that you actually did. 

[Sew Sumi]

Did Ben finish school? As I noted in a previous post, he should be done now if he went straight through. 

In other news, more cutesy Seewald Family Shenanigans.

[DangerousMinds]

"Doing life?"

[BitterApple]

The boys are cute but it's interesting how Jessa hardly ever posts pictures of herself on Instagram anymore. I'd like to believe she's grown out of taking selfies, but part of me wonders if her confidence is shot. Her looks have crashed and burned since getting married and that has to be hard when you've been the "pretty sister" your whole life. I feel like something more is up than just her posting the kids because they generate attention.

[lookeyloo]

Whatever I may think of Jessa Blessa and Bin, those boys are adorable.  Happy, well fed, clean, seems like they feel loved and safe.  Let's hope it lasts.  There are many ways to parent, co sleeping, late potty training, fussy eater, attachment parenting, etc. not many of which I would do, but, if the result is a happy cared for child, I'm good with it.  

[Temperance]

Every picture Jessa posts of herself starts the speculation of "Is she pregnant or not?" Of course she wants to make money based on the family reputation for having megafamilies, but it seems that has burned her out.  For example some new photos of her family are on a blog and the speculation is already starting. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 hours ago, Temperance said:

Every picture Jessa posts of herself starts the speculation of "Is she pregnant or not?" Of course she wants to make money based on the family reputation for having megafamilies, but it seems that has burned her out.  For example some new photos of her family are on a blog and the speculation is already starting. 

That's probably close to the truth...I don't think her looks have actually crashed and burned...yeah, she's a few years older and has a bit more stress on her plate, but she could still photograph just as well as she ever did if she put as much effort and confidence into it. To my eye she has always been more photogenic than beautiful anyway, and for the most part she still has the same features and bone structure, but every time she posts a photo everyone is either looking so hard for something to justify pregnancy rumors, or just doing that whole "oh, look how she has let herself go" thing, that it's no wonder if her self esteem has taken a nose-dive.

To me, snark is fun if you keep it to the things which are honestly so far beyond the norm as to be inescapable, but once it gets to nit-picking things which, in all likelihood we ourselves (or at the very least , good friends of ours) are just as guilty of, it just becomes mean spirited. 

[lascuba]

9 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I think this is a good theory, but I'd think they would mention the fact that he does have an outside job at some point, even if they didn't say what or where it was. It would be too appealing for their reputation! If people are constantly criticizing you for not having a real job, it would be hard to keep it a secret that you actually did. 

This might be giving them too much credit for thinking ahead, but if they did say that Ben had a job without any details, there's no way that internet sleuths wouldn't figure out where he worked within two weeks. It's better to let people think he does odd jobs for Jim Bob, in that sense. 

1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

That's probably close to the truth...I don't think her looks have actually crashed and burned...yeah, she's a few years older and has a bit more stress on her plate, but she could still photograph just as well as she ever did if she put as much effort and confidence into it. To my eye she has always been more photogenic than beautiful anyway, and for the most part she still has the same features and bone structure, but every time she posts a photo everyone is either looking so hard for something to justify pregnancy rumors, or just doing that whole "oh, look how she has let herself go" thing, that it's no wonder if her self esteem has taken a nose-dive.

To me, snark is fun if you keep it to the things which are honestly so far beyond the norm as to be inescapable, but once it gets to nit-picking things which, in all likelihood we ourselves (or at the very least , good friends of ours) are just as guilty of, it just becomes mean spirited. 

That, or when she looks good everyone bitches about what a vain bitch she is and she's not that hot anyway. Better to just post pictures of cute babies when her looks piss off so many people. 

[Misslindsey]

I do not like kids, but I think Henry and Spurgeon are pretty adorable. I actually like Jessa's cutesy videos of the boys. I think her videos are way more entertaining than Jill's boring, meandering videos.

[DangerousMinds]

Jessa really ISN'T that hot. Not pissed off, just starting the truth as I see it.

Edited August 19, 2018 by DangerousMinds

[InternetToughGuy]

4 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Jessa really ISN'T that hot. Not pissed off, just starting the truth as I see it.

Haha, I think she's like the hottest woman ever. It's a shame her recent choice of clothing and uncut hair is making her look seriously frumpy a lot of the time, though.

[lascuba]

Attractiveness is subjective, but there's sometimes a...tone, let's say, when people insist that Jessa isn't hot. She's never said anything about her looks and that she thinks she's the most attractive of her siblings, but she'll post a picture of herself looking good and well put together and people immediately comment that she's not as hot as she thinks she is, that they find Jana/Joy/Jinger totally more attractive, etc.  That never happens with any of her sisters, and based on clothes and makeup, one could argue that Jana and Jinger are a hell of a lot more vain than Jessa, but Jessa is the one that gets accused of vanity, and there's so much delight in the way people insist that she's let herself go and she must be suffering because of that. I think there's something to all of that.

[GeeGolly]

After Jessa was married and while pregnant she posted some selfies. It was apparent those selfies were done with effort - lighting, angles, make-up, clothing, etc. Her sisters have never done that. Because the Duggars preach modesty Jessa got called out on her selfies. The pics weren't much different than the average 20 something, however the average 20 something doesn't make a living off of spouting the virtues of modesty.

Jessa hasn't posted any selfies lately. She reads comments and adjusts her SM accordingly. Jessa is keeping relevant so folks will continue to tune in to Counting On. It's kind of hard to have it both ways - the Duggars are 'special and different' or they're not. Jessa tries to play it down the middle.

Since I've been watching the show Jessa has had more personalities than Sybil. Not only because she's figuring out who she is, but also to keep interest in her family and show. To me she comes off as fake and manipulative and I find that unattractive.

[GeeGolly]

[sleepysuzy]

31 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I showed there pictures to my three older children, ages 7, 5, and 3. They all liked Jessa the best. They liked her face and they thought her house looked "fancy", I think because of the curtain in the background

[Christina87]

I think Jessa is really pretty! I think the issue is that she clings to the frumpy thrift store style like a badge of honor. "Ooooh, look how different we are!" Part of her is a fashionista, and she will release a pic in a super cute, modern, well-fitted outfit. Then the next day, she'll be wearing a really frumpy shirt that is meant for an older woman with a modesty shirt underneath and a jean skirt. It's the inconsistency that gets me! I guess most people are comfortable wearing what they did growing up, and I know I could never give up t-shirts / sweats entirely, after wearing them around the house constantly my whole life! I just think it's weird when she gravitates towards frumpy when we all know she can do so much better, or doesn't dress for the occasion. Remember when she wore a super casual t-shirt and jean skirt when Ben graduated from community college, when we know she had a closet full of cute clothes from her honeymoon? However, all the duggars are guilty of this. When the little girls go to a wedding, one will wear something really formal, one will wear something casual, while another wears a blingy / silly outfit like most little girls might wear to a Miley Cyrus concert (or whoever they like now)!

[kokapetl]

4 hours ago, lascuba said:

Attractiveness is subjective, but there's sometimes a...tone, let's say, when people insist that Jessa isn't hot. She's never said anything about her looks and that she thinks she's the most attractive of her siblings, but she'll post a picture of herself looking good and well put together and people immediately comment that she's not as hot as she thinks she is, that they find Jana/Joy/Jinger totally more attractive, etc.  That never happens with any of her sisters, and based on clothes and makeup, one could argue that Jana and Jinger are a hell of a lot more vain than Jessa, but Jessa is the one that gets accused of vanity, and there's so much delight in the way people insist that she's let herself go and she must be suffering because of that. I think there's something to all of that.

It’s like you read my mind. 

After Josh’s actions became public knowledge, his identified victims were perversely subjected to far harsher criticism than beforehand. 

I used to spend a lot of time pointing out that what one Duggar said could not be held against another Duggar, but I gave it up. 

Edited August 19, 2018 by kokapetl

[DangerousMinds]

To me, those pictures say it all . . .

[BitterApple]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

To me she comes off as fake and manipulative and I find that unattractive.

I agree. Occasionally I get Duggar videos on my YouTube feed. I watched one yesterday from the original series where the kids went on a farm tour and were tossing bread from the back of a truck. Jessa took a bagel and pegged the camera man with it and when asked about it in a TH she looked the producer dead in the face and lied saying she didnt do it. And not even in a facetious *wink, wink* kind of way, she was completely serious. When they said the camera caught her doing it she lied again, then finally admitted it but blamed Amy for doing it first. There's just something cold and calculating about her that I don't like. I don't care how good she is with her boys, I don't think she's a very nice person and never has been. 

Edited August 19, 2018 by BitterApple

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, kokapetl said:

After Josh’s actions became public knowledge, his identified victims were perversely subjected to far harsher criticism than beforehand. 

Or they were engaged and married and went on social media.  It's generally their postings that give the public something to talk about or at least the most to chew over and analyze the teensy facets. 

[Adeejay]

Jessa more so than her siblings, seems keenly aware of how her family is perceived.  There were times when she actually appeared embarrassed to be part of this dog and pony show.  Her courtship, engagement and wedding are good examples.  Unfortunately, we don't get to choose the family we were born into, and this is the hand she was dealt.  After becoming a mother, she seems even more resigned to her fate.  I wish much like Alyssa Bates and Jinger, she would show some independence and make a run for it. 

[IntoTheMystic]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think there's a big difference between shooting a selfie in a mirror and having someone take your picture from a few feet away. Any selfie that I take in my bathroom tends to look nicer because of the lighting. I tend to hate photos of me that other people take but I generally like selfies. Jessa looks exactly like the others when someone else is photographing her:

 

Edited August 19, 2018 by IntoTheMystic
added photos

[queenanne]

Is Henry as tall as Spurgeon now?  Those little toddler legs strike me as pretty long.

[DangerousMinds]

I'm old - can someone explain to me WHY anyone would choose to take a picture of themselves in the bathroom?

[InternetToughGuy]

27 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I'm old - can someone explain to me WHY anyone would choose to take a picture of themselves in the bathroom?

Probably if they think they are "the shit"

[Heathen]

28 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I'm old - can someone explain to me WHY anyone would choose to take a picture of themselves in the bathroom?

Mirrors. 

[InternetToughGuy]

1 hour ago, IntoTheMystic said:

Jessa looks exactly like the others when someone else is photographing her:

 

Even with my Jessa bias aside, she has the most developed facial structure, which is still visible in blurry photos. Anna would probably look even worse without makeup, while the few pics/videos of Jessa without makeup looks pretty much the same (aka a five alarm Fundie!). Jill probably only looks "good" because she's young; the disparity will be even more noticeable in 10 years.

[DangerousMinds]

3 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Mirrors. 

Can you elaborate?

[Fostersmom]

You take a picture of the mirror, not so much your self. 

[Heathen]

What @Fostersmom said. Also, the mirrors in bathrooms tend to be bigger than the ones in, say, bedrooms, and bathrooms have better overhead lighting. 

[Zahdii]

I thought it was because you could see yourself in the mirror and see what looked good and what didn't.  But I've never taken a selfie so I don't know for sure.

[IntoTheMystic]

17 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Can you elaborate?

You stand in front of a mirror and pose however you want just like you would pose for a regular photo. You lift your camera up. In Jessa's case, she is using her camera phone as you can see in the photo. You turn off flash. You point your camera at the reflection in the mirror the same way you would point it at a mountain if you wanted a mountain photo. You are photographing your image in a mirror. You are taking a shot of your reflection in the mirror. You click to take the photo and you're done. People photograph their reflection because it is easy, it's fast, and you can take really nice shots.

I dislike having my picture taken. However, when I take a selfie I am relaxed and okay because I'm the one in control. If the photo is bad I can delete it and move on to another pose. 

 

18 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I'm old - can someone explain to me WHY anyone would choose to take a picture of themselves in the bathroom?

Better lighting and no need to use flash. It's a way to show off a new outfit or see how an outfit photographs and check for any sheer/see through situations you wouldn't otherwise see (for those you would use flash).

These two photos show the difference between a bathroom selfie and one done in a smaller mirror in a darker room that doesn't have bathroom lighting:



Versus this bedroom shot.

 

 

 

Edited August 20, 2018 by IntoTheMystic

[madpsych78]

I've taken selfies, but I never understood the appeal of taking a selfie in a mirror and having the phone block part of me, when I can just apply the "selfie" function on my phone, and hold up the phone to take a selfie. 

[IntoTheMystic]

7 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I've taken selfies, but I never understood the appeal of taking a selfie in a mirror and having the phone block part of me, when I can just apply the "selfie" function on my phone, and hold up the phone to take a selfie. 

I only got a phone that works that way this year. My wife still doesn't have one.

Also, I think it could be argued that since Jessa doesn't need someone to photo her or worry about blocking part of herself in the mirror that she might be less high maintenance than her sisters. She also tends to wear flats when she is in a wedding while her sisters wear heels. I know she's dragged a lot for her abhorrent taste in clothing, but maybe she likes to be comfortable instead of cute.


 

Edited August 19, 2018 by IntoTheMystic
added stuff

[IntoTheMystic]

You can take selfies of your face anywhere but non-bathroom selfies of your body tend to look like this:

 

[Lunera]

Jessa became really vain and realized she was the pretty one after a cute teen Bin chose her over her sisters. She dressed a bit better during that time and every other post on her page was a selfie. I don't think she realized the effect pregnancy and has spoken about body issues. She shys away from the cameras and fitted clothes, now, except when she's pregnant. 

She must find frump wear comfortable because she hasn't even attempted to improve her style. Even Bin has changed his whole look, in the recent pictures from the camp he was dressed like a typical college aged kid.

[DangerousMinds]

I guess I will never truly understand why anyone needs to take many pictures  of themselves anyway. 

[Adeejay]

19 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Jessa became really vain and realized she was the pretty one after a cute teen Bin chose her over her sisters.

I believe it was the other way around.  From what I heard, a lot of guys were interesting in courting Jessa, but Ben was the one she chose.  Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him he didn't stand a chance, because she just knew a lot of guys were beating down her door.  I am still wondering why a 20 year old woman would choose to be with a 17 year old boy.  Don't get me wrong; I like Ben, but if she could have her pick, I wonder why she picked him. 

[Temperance]

4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Jessa more so than her siblings, seems keenly aware of how her family is perceived.  There were times when she actually appeared embarrassed to be part of this dog and pony show.  Her courtship, engagement and wedding are good examples.  Unfortunately, we don't get to choose the family we were born into, and this is the hand she was dealt.  After becoming a mother, she seems even more resigned to her fate.  I wish much like Alyssa Bates and Jinger, she would show some independence and make a run for it. 

Gee, I don't see any of these young women as showing much "independence", but I do wish they would all strive to "make a run for it". 

[PikaScrewChu]

1 hour ago, IntoTheMystic said:

 

 

Please tell me that the picture frame with Jessa and Ben's initials is J and B and not B and J.