The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie

[Loves2Dance]

47 minutes ago, TobyBelle said:

I think that’s why I’m so fascinated by their relationship and I’m rooting for them to be different. I really hate the idea that the women are passed around from male authority to male authority and the husband dictates what they can wear. I hope the real scene after they got married was that Jinger said, “I am going to finally wear whatever I want!” rather than her asking him for permission and Jeremy answering go ahead just because that’s just the relationship they have. I definitely don’t look down on Jinger for her contentment because I love being a wife and mom too.

 I thought Derick had gone to seminary for awhile (online) and I had a feeling it was associated with the one I went to. I’m not conservative at all, and the one I went to is conservative but based on MTS standard, it’s probably considered liberal and unbiblical since it allows women to enroll. 

Haha! I actually caught part of his sermon this past Sunday. Maybe because I caught it in the middle, he was not making sense at all! And he just seemed to read off his notes. I won’t be so critical, though, because everyone has to start off somewhere.

Jinger has given us absolutely no indication that she's become more dominant in her personality. If anything, the footage we got directly after they got married indicated the exact opposite. They appear fundie-lite because Jeremy was raised in the mainstream world and likes to live there but at their core they are heavily conservative and neither appear to want anything different. Jeremy wasn't lying when he said he wanted a meek wife and Jinger likely wasn't lying when she defaulted to him for everything. 

I get wanting them to be different, they're just not. 

[TobyBelle]

14 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

Jinger has given us absolutely no indication that she's become more dominant in her personality. If anything, the footage we got directly after they got married indicated the exact opposite. They appear fundie-lite because Jeremy was raised in the mainstream world and likes to live there but at their core they are heavily conservative and neither appear to want anything different. Jeremy wasn't lying when he said he wanted a meek wife and Jinger likely wasn't lying when she defaulted to him for everything. 

I get wanting them to be different, they're just not. 

The fact that he’s going to MTS has sealed the deal on that for sure. Nevertheless, I really do like them the best out of all the couples. 

[mythoughtis]

8 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Is it me or has Jinger become more articulate and mature-sounding than her sisters?

She’s reading actual books. She’s conversing with people outside of her own family. Many of those people are highly educated and sophisticated. Some of them are taking Jinger under their wing. 

I know Jeremy's  little church probably makes you go ‘what are you talking about’.  However, they have attended quite a few church conventions and spent quite a bit of time with Jeremy’s family. Jeremy looked quite at home in that tux at the Gala, and several of those guests were friends of  Jeremy’s family. 

[Snow Fairy]

I can't watch the videos, but saw that she was induced for labor. Was there a reason for that?

[libgirl2]

2 minutes ago, Snow Fairy said:

I can't watch the videos, but saw that she was induced for labor. Was there a reason for that?

It had something to do with her getting to be overdue and having too big a baby. 

[saylubee]

10 minutes ago, Snow Fairy said:

I can't watch the videos, but saw that she was induced for labor. Was there a reason for that?

 

7 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

It had something to do with her getting to be overdue and having too big a baby. 

I also suspect that Jinger always had a soft induction date planned.  You don’t live two hours from where you want to give birth without having some advance planning.  It’s not like they went to that last midwife appointment and had to stay in San Antonio unexpectedly.  They were prepared with suitcases and a car seat to stay.

[Normades]

7 hours ago, TobyBelle said:

I hope the real scene after they got married was that Jinger said, “I am going to finally wear whatever I want!” rather than her asking him for permission and Jeremy answering go ahead just because that’s just the relationship they have.

I have the feeling it went more like Jeremy telling Jinger that he would prefer she update her look and helping her pick out a wardrobe.  I doubt that Jinger came in telling him that she wanted to wear pants.  I think those girls are so used to skirts that they never gave it a thought.  Of course, after seeing Jinger get attention from wearing pants, Jill and Derwood decided to capitalize on it and have her start wearing pants and shorts.  At least, that's how it works out in my mind.

[Minivanessa]

9 minutes ago, Normades said:

I have the feeling it went more like Jeremy telling Jinger that he would prefer she update her look and helping her pick out a wardrobe.  I doubt that Jinger came in telling him that she wanted to wear pants.  I think those girls are so used to skirts that they never gave it a thought.  Of course, after seeing Jinger get attention from wearing pants, Jill and Derwood decided to capitalize on it and have her start wearing pants and shorts.  At least, that's how it works out in my mind.

I'm with you on that. No way do I see Jinger laying down the law to Baaabe about anything. But she'd def jump to it if he wanted to work with her on an updated look. I hope he was kind and gentle with her about it.

As to Jill, I agree - seeing Jinge break out of their parents' dictates may have emboldened her. I think the impetus was probably Derick, since Jill's so passive. Derick's Cross Church ministry school had them involved with college students (they posted about that on SM), and Derick probably realized that Jill's frump version of modesty wear was not relatable by any of the college students they were reaching out to. Or somebody kindly pointed it out to Derick, who got it and then worked on Jill's look. Honestly I don't think either of the Dillards have as much fashion or style sense as my dog. Just saying.

Edited August 7, 2018 by Jeeves

[Nysha]

1 hour ago, saylubee said:

I also suspect that Jinger always had a soft induction date planned.  You don’t live two hours from where you want to give birth without having some advance planning.  It’s not like they went to that last midwife appointment and had to stay in San Antonio unexpectedly.  They were prepared with suitcases and a car seat to stay.

I'm sure she did have an induction date planned. My pregnant daughter lives in a rural area and has a long drive to the hospital. She already has her due date for September, however, the baby is breach and if he doesn't turn she'll have a c-section a week earlier.

[Normades]

31 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I'm sure she did have an induction date planned. My pregnant daughter lives in a rural area and has a long drive to the hospital. She already has her due date for September, however, the baby is breach and if he doesn't turn she'll have a c-section a week earlier.

Imagine that!!  Someone who has consulted a medical professional to determine the health and position of their baby!!  Well, I guess she isn't as holy as the Duggars because if she was, she would go through 40 hours of labor with a breach baby, then make the long drive to the hospital!!

Seriously, I hope the baby turns and your daughter has a healthy, easy delivery.  It must be a bit nervewracking for both of you.  So glad you have good sense!!

[Barb23]

I can't believe how Jessa looked at the baby and said something like "Oh, she's cute." The way she said it was like she was expecting an ugly baby but Felicity turned out cute instead.  

ETA: I liked them putting the jigsaw puzzle together during labor & what a keepsake (except I would have gotten a more childlike one to hang in her room.) I'm sure concentrating  on it kept their minds off things at the beginning of labor when things weren't too bad.  (This coming from a veteran jigsaw puzzle lover.)

Edited August 7, 2018 by Barb23

[WalrusGirl]

16 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

While I will always be in the camp that inducing for size is stupid, I'm glad Jinger saw what her sisters went through and was like, "Yeah...no." Being in a hospital was responsible, but Jeremy I expected better from you! Michelle and Jana (and Laura since they seem to go everywhere together) but you should have ran off Jessa. My first question would have been, "Where is your hotel?" Jessa has become so extra in her family and frankly, it's very off putting. Like, she's hitting Jill hate for me. 

Glad Felicity came uneventfully, but lack of progress means she probably wasn't ready to come. Hopefully next time she doesn't get scared to induce. 

I don’t think very slow/lack of progress is totally unusual with inductions, since the body isn’t already “there” on its own, but I’ve had several friends go into labor naturally (two with second children), labor in the hospital for over 24 hours, and end up with c-sections due to failure to progress and time elapsed from their water having broken. The two laboring with their second children ultimately probably didn’t help themselves by really trying to avoid epidurals and pitocin, but another (with her first baby) had her water break naturally at term and failed to adequately progress despite pitocin then an epidural. I’m all for letting babies “cook” until labor starts naturally unless otherwise indicated, but plenty of moms are induced out of medical necessity at 37-38 weeks and progress on pace, uneventfully. (Another friend who developed a liver issue with her first; they got baby to term, then got him out.) *shrugs* I’m just relieved they erred on the side that they did versus the other way around!

 

 

Jessa coming (uninvited) didn’t bug me, since she stayed out of the hospital and didn’t show up or interrupt Jinger with the heads up that she was in town until after Felicity was born, especially since I watched the special online after seeing last night’s episode, where Jeremy said they’d told Ben and Jessa before either of their parents or other family members. (They were visiting his parents supposedly soon after finding out themselves, told his parents - which, so help me, was actually pretty touching - and when his mom asked if they’d told her parents yet (no), Jeremy said that they had told Ben and Jessa. But I certainly could have lived with Ben waiting outside with the kids until/unless JinJer invited them back to the room too.

Edited August 7, 2018 by WalrusGirl
Auto-incorrect fixed.

[3 is enough]

Maybe I am reading too much into this, but when they said the baby's name Michelle seemed a bit disappointed for a second before she said "how sweet" or whatever.  I honestly think that since it was her first granddaughter from one of her daughters she expected to have the baby named for her in some way- even if just the middle name. 

Glad they were in the hospital, but so many people in the room- it was just my husband and I, which is exactly how we wanted it.  

[Normades]

23 minutes ago, WalrusGirl said:

The two laboring with their second children ultimately probably didn’t help themselves by really trying to avoid epidurals and pitocin,

I had pitocin with my first child.  I am convinced that stuff is of the devil!!  Thirty years later, I still shudder when I hear that word.  I went from 0 to 10,000 in 15 minutes.  It was really rough!!  I was happy to avoid it the second time.  

[BckpckFullaNinjas]

16 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

While I will always be in the camp that inducing for size is stupid, I'm glad Jinger saw what her sisters went through and was like, "Yeah...no." Being in a hospital was responsible, but Jeremy I expected better from you! Michelle and Jana (and Laura since they seem to go everywhere together) but you should have ran off Jessa. My first question would have been, "Where is your hotel?" Jessa has become so extra in her family and frankly, it's very off putting. Like, she's hitting Jill hate for me. 

Glad Felicity came uneventfully, but lack of progress means she probably wasn't ready to come. Hopefully next time she doesn't get scared to induce. 

Waving as a fellow traveler. Jessa hit the hate button for me only slightly before Jill did. It’s very peaceful to know to ignore them both. 

[Natalie68]

16 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

This is JimBob's mentor and pal, Bill Gothard, along with a bevy of his underaged assistants. He was eventually forced to step down for being a pedophile, but he continued to direct from behind the scenes. And, 19 Kids and Counting served as a recruitment vehicle for his cult organization. New membership was down after so many young girls and angry parents came forward to complain about old Bill, a fun-loving single guy who used to bring his underaged interns to JimBob's house for family suppers and sit politely holding hands with them.  Numbers were down, and The Institute in Basic Life Principles (The Duggar Church) was suffering financially) Then the show revved up and people loved their oaky lifestyle. To this day, the Counting On daughters continue to work at Gothard's camps, in other words, they help bring more people into the TIIBLP.  Again, Counting On helps a lot with those "new membership" numbers because they're 'counting on' new daughters members.

Apparently rules were more lax at this time.  I see bare arms on that hussy in the flowered dress!

[BckpckFullaNinjas]

15 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

You are exactly right. It's a lot like a harem. He's like Roman Grant from Big Love if Roman Grant were a complete weenie. Sad to say, I look at Josh and I think... no wonder! 

“...if Roman Grant were a big weenie...” 

LOVE IT!!

You've made my day. Things start to go south, I’ll say, “if Roman Grant were a big weenie...” and I KNOW I will grin, if not outright laugh!

Thankyou.

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

It had something to do with her getting to be overdue and having too big a baby. 

There is a very large study due to be published in one of the major journals in the next month or so.  In it, women with uncomplicated pregnancies were randomized: one group was automatically induced at 39-40 weeks while the other group was allowed to go into spontaneous labor/only induced if a complication arose and induction became clinically necessary.

The bottom line: those who were electively induced did better! Fewer cesareans, fewer complications for mother and baby and overall less money spent per birth.  Coulda knocked my socks off!  Anyway, there are multiple large centers where induction at term is the norm and, once this study is published (either New England Journal or ACOG will get it), women are going to be demanding the option.

The only drawback, the reason why my hospital isn’t doing it yet, is that it requires a longer stay on labor and delivery and we don’t have enough beds.

Edited August 7, 2018 by doodlebug

[Sew Sumi]

11 hours ago, TobyBelle said:

I've been off the boards for ages and haven't been following the family as much as I have been. However, I really do like Jeremy and Jinger as a couple so it really ticks me off that he is going to Masters Seminary! Are they really moving to LA? I don't mind looking back in the thread so if anyone can point me around the time of year they went down for a visit I could see how far back to look, I'd really appreciate it!  

Looks like Jeremy is able to take his classes remotely. 

[Fuzzysox]

12 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Is it me or has Jinger become more articulate and mature-sounding than her sisters?

Maybe because now she is allowed to read books and her husband has real adult conversations with her vs her having to do all of MEchelle's work all day.

[SMama]

Jinger, I know you love your sisters but their labor difficulties were due to their ignorance and arrogance. I chuckled every time they mentioned the difficult births.

Jilly Muffin, did you notice how easy it was for an educated, real midwife to determine the position of the baby? And she didn’t even use her “medical thingies.” I am glad TLC did not edit that out. However, I could have done without MEchelle’s babbling. Anything to get air time. I wonder if Jill and  Derick will have the nerve to keep extolling her midwife skills.

Edited August 7, 2018 by SMama

[WalrusGirl]

2 hours ago, Normades said:

I had pitocin with my first child.  I am convinced that stuff is of the devil!!  Thirty years later, I still shudder when I hear that word.  I went from 0 to 10,000 in 15 minutes.  It was really rough!!  I was happy to avoid it the second time.  

Oh, I’ve heard it can be awful, and I’d be wary of an epidural myself only because it can be hell for those of us with migraines afterwards, but it was sort of ironic that they specifically wanted minimal intervention, as natural a birth as possible (but in the hospital), etc, and were refusing/putting off the lower-level interventions being suggested to help progression and ended up with c-sections due to going too long instead. (And it was a shame, since one had complications healing for weeks afterward.) Personally I’d rather skip the pitocin and jump straight to the c-section if I had the option!

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

There is a very large study due to be published in one of the major journals in the next month or so.  In it, women with uncomplicated pregnancies were randomized: one group was automatically induced at 39-40 weeks while the other group was allowed to go into spontaneous labor/only induced if a complication arose and induction became clinically necessary.

The bottom line: those who were electively induced did better! Fewer cesareans, fewer complications for mother and baby and overall less money spent per birth.  Coulda knocked my socks off!  Anyway, there are multiple large centers where induction at term is the norm and, once this study is published (either New England Journal or ACOG will get it), women are going to be demanding the option.

That’s crazy, and awesome it will actually be widely known, since it’s opposite of what’s generally thought to be the case! Thanks for this info! Very cool.

[CountryGirl]

3 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I can't believe how Jessa looked at the baby and said something like "Oh, she's cute." The way she said it was like she was expecting an ugly baby but Felicity turned out cute instead.  

ETA: I liked them putting the jigsaw puzzle together during labor & what a keepsake (except I would have gotten a more childlike one to hang in her room.) I'm sure concentrating  on it kept their minds off things at the beginning of labor when things weren't too bad.  (This coming from a veteran jigsaw puzzle lover.)

I think Jessa is jealous as hell.

[EmeraldGirl]

I was surprised that Jessa wasn’t there for the birth. I still think she’s close to Jinger. Something about Jana and Laura felt weird. Like they needed Jana to have some camera time besides the garden. Maybe she’s just very camera shy, but I’ve never found a personality in Jana. The others could be whacky (Jill), but at least something seemed to be going on, even if it was nuts. 

I think Ben and the kids had to bust in for the surprise and the TV value. I always thought those two couples would somehow end up together. Maybe that’s still the plan for Ben. 

[LilJen]

21 hours ago, SMama said:

As usual Jana and Laura did all the work while Jessa and MEchelle were a major inconvenience. But Jessa and Mullet get the photo op. Glad Jeremy’s parents made it, but no picture for them. Good planning on JinJer’s part even though their beliefs are hideous. It shows they care about the safety of both mother and child.

Because Jessa and Michelle are absolutely useless. One of them helped with Felicity and the other one wrangled Ben, Spurgeon, and Henry. Plus all that cooking and cleaning Jessa and Michelle can’t be bothered doing. I expected better from Jeremy, they really had a full house.

Jessa and Ben invaded the hospital with two toddlers. For me if you weren’t there during conception you have no business in the delivery room. The Seeealds could have waited. And a surprise invasion (sorry can say visit). I’m crankier than usual today. 

Gee, how convenient that neither Jessa nor Ben have to be at work and expected to show up, and just happen to have plenty of money to buy plane tickets last minute. 

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, LilJen said:

Gee, how convenient that neither Jessa nor Ben have to be at work and expected to show up, and just happen to have plenty of money to buy plane tickets last minute. 

Because TLC is behind all of it. I doubt that Jinger and Jeremy were all that surprised when they showed up. 

[Love2dance]

21 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

They remind me of my relationship I had with my older sister. Growing up, she was manipulative and strong willed (a la Jessa) and I was the quiet rebellious one who knew how to toe the party line to stay out of trouble (Jinger)...we were superficially close but as kids we didn't know much of a difference so we thought we were close---as adults, we absolutely positively can not stand each other and are no longer on talking terms. Our houses are less than 5 minutes apart and I don't even want to drive by because she makes my blood boil. I can kinda see Jessa and Jinger in the same light---in the TTC being friends was easy and probably made life more bearable, but in the real world? They probably don't have much in common and the cracks are more evident. 

I love my brother dearly, but I have ALWAYS wanted a sister, and idealized what life would be like if I had one. But watching some of my friends who are also not speaking to their sisters, and reading your message, makes me realize it wouldn’t necessarily have been so. I guess at least some of the adult Duggar girls are not necessarily as close as TLC would have us believe. I am so sorry that your relationship with your sister isn’t better.

[leighdear]

I think Jessa still sees herself as the one guiding Jing through life.  She did everything before Jinger: courting, engaged, married & baby making.  So of course, she's the "expert" and has to be there to show Jing the ropes, expecting to be a font of wisdom.  But....but....but, Jing doesn't actually NEED Blessa.  She probably never did.  She's not only doing just fine on her own, she's Top Daughter in the Livin' Large & Kickin' Ass category, Dugger version. 

Jessa can't compete with lil' sis.  Jing is too far ahead in every way.  It pisses Jessa off, and it's showing in her looks.  Major hit to her ego. 

[SMama]

2 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

 I always thought those two couples would somehow end up together. Maybe that’s still the plan for Ben. 

I hope this never happens as it will impede  Jinger’s growth. All Duggars must stay away as far as possible and allow JinJer their privacy and growth as a family. Duggars are poison! Does anyone know if JB is sending Duggar kids/kidults in shifts like they did with Volderjosh (DC) and Jill (CA)?

Edited August 7, 2018 by SMama

[Jynnan tonnix]

26 minutes ago, leighdear said:

I think Jessa still sees herself as the one guiding Jing through life.  She did everything before Jinger: courting, engaged, married & baby making.  So of course, she's the "expert" and has to be there to show Jing the ropes, expecting to be a font of wisdom.  But....but....but, Jing doesn't actually NEED Blessa.  She probably never did.  She's not only doing just fine on her own, she's Top Daughter in the Livin' Large & Kickin' Ass category, Dugger version. 

Jessa can't compete with lil' sis.  Jing is too far ahead in every way.  It pisses Jessa off, and it's showing in her looks.  Major hit to her ego. 

Yup...that'a probably what was behind the tone of her, "oh, she's cute" comment. If Felicity starts growing up cuter than Spurge and Henry, she really has nothing left to win at.

[madpsych78]

8 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I'm with you on that. No way do I see Jinger laying down the law to Baaabe about anything. But she'd def jump to it if he wanted to work with her on an updated look. I hope he was kind and gentle with her about it.

As to Jill, I agree - seeing Jinge break out of their parents' dictates may have emboldened her. I think the impetus was probably Derick, since Jill's so passive. Derick's Cross Church ministry school had them involved with college students (they posted about that on SM), and Derick probably realized that Jill's frump version of modesty wear was not relatable by any of the college students they were reaching out to. Or somebody kindly pointed it out to Derick, who got it and then worked on Jill's look. Honestly I don't think either of the Dillards have as much fashion or style sense as my dog. Just saying.

See, although Jill and Jinger have both embraced pants, I think they took two different routes to get there. I don't think someone allowing her to wear pants was a high priority for Jinger when selecting a spouse, but she happened to land a husband who was cool with it. Although Jinger took to wearing pants right away after marriage, she was generally still dressed very modestly. At most, she had bare shoulders. 

In contrast, I think Jill very much wanted to wear pants but was afraid to do so at first. Not because of Derick because I don't think he cared either way. Note that Jill didn't embrace pants until after Sam was born and then once she started wearing pants, the floodgates opened in a way. Jill not only wore pants, but she has worn shorts, dresses/skirts a few inches above the knee (OK, Jinger has done this too), a full-blown tank top with one-inch straps, etc. 

In other words, I think Jinger's decision to wear pants was influenced in part by Jeremy, whereas Jill's decision to wear pants was all Jill.

[Steff]

1 hour ago, Love2dance said:

I love my brother dearly, but I have ALWAYS wanted a sister, and idealized what life would be like if I had one. But watching some of my friends who are also not speaking to their sisters, and reading your message, makes me realize it wouldn’t necessarily have been so. I guess at least some of the adult Duggar girls are not necessarily as close as TLC would have us believe. I am so sorry that your relationship with your sister isn’t better.

My mom has 3 sisters, she's #3 of 4.  after a lifetime of watching them fight, I'm so happy I have 2 brothers.  I may have seriously disliked them when they were little, but as adults, we're all really close.   I'm thankful every day that I didn't end up with a sister. 

[Loves2Dance]

1 hour ago, Love2dance said:

I love my brother dearly, but I have ALWAYS wanted a sister, and idealized what life would be like if I had one. But watching some of my friends who are also not speaking to their sisters, and reading your message, makes me realize it wouldn’t necessarily have been so. I guess at least some of the adult Duggar girls are not necessarily as close as TLC would have us believe. I am so sorry that your relationship with your sister isn’t better.

To be fair, I also have a little brother (2 years behind me) and we're not really on speaking terms either. We don't have the abhorrent hate for each other, we just don't have much in common and don't go out of our way to spend time together. In another world where our mother didn't ruin his life, we may have been close---but I can barely hold a conversation with him without him getting angry. 

16 minutes ago, Steff said:

My mom has 3 sisters, she's #3 of 4.  after a lifetime of watching them fight, I'm so happy I have 2 brothers.  I may have seriously disliked them when they were little, but as adults, we're all really close.   I'm thankful every day that I didn't end up with a sister. 

My mom is 1 of 3 daughters with a boy at the end (same as her set up). She's 2nd in line and doesn't talk to her sisters but oldest and youngest sisters are close. In my family, 1st and 3rd get along, 1st and 2nd get along, 2nd and 3rd would kill each other if the Purge was real life. 

[Steff]

5 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

My mom is 1 of 3 daughters with a boy at the end (same as her set up). She's 2nd in line and doesn't talk to her sisters but oldest and youngest sisters are close. In my family, 1st and 3rd get along, 1st and 2nd get along, 2nd and 3rd would kill each other if the Purge was real life. 

My mom and her sister hate each other in shifts.   #1 hates 2 & 3, while #2 hates 4,  #4 hates #3 for a few years and then they all change hate partners.  #2 & #3 (my mom) have pretty much always gotten along, but they were the least involved with each other when all us kids were small.  I don't know those cousins very well at all.  Now that all kids are grown, they get along great.  #1 and #4 are just vile evil bitches who hate everyone and think it's their job to make everyone else as miserable as they are. They only got more evil and bitchy as they got older.   #4 would kill #3 and laugh about it.    Not that I have an opinion on it.  LOL  

 

to make this on topic, I could see rifts forming now that the Duggar girls are adults.  All it takes is 1 daughter to think she's in a competition with another to get it rolling.  I can easily see how Jessa could grow more and more jealous over Jinger's happy life.  Jessa thought she had it really good until she got to see how good Jinger has it.  I don't think she sees Jill as competition tho.  Jill is that sister you roll your eyes at and wish she wasn't so stupid and weird. 

[3 is enough]

I always feel sad when I hear about siblings not getting along. I can say I have been blessed to have great relationships with all of mine.

  I am the oldest of 5.  First me, then 4 boys.  The first 3 of us are were born in the space of 2 1/2 years- my brothers are 11 months apart, so all my memories include them, and I never really wished they had been girls.  Number 4 was born when I was almost 7- everyone was hoping for a girl except me, mostly because of the age difference, and number 5 was a "surprise" who was born when I was 9 1/2.  Again, I did not want a sister because of the age difference.  Not going to lie- I liked being the only girl- but I think that if any of them had been girls it would have been just fine. I just never felt cheated out of having a sister, and now I have 4 great sisters-in-law, 2 of whom also had no sisters.

We are scattered all over the US and Canada, so we don't get together as a group too often, but we still all get along, keep in touch, and phone and text each other often.  We all got together in July to help move our mother into assisted living, and in a couple of weeks we will all be going to my niece's wedding.  

My father was a good man, but he had a very prickly personality and some issues with alcohol. He never lost a job or beat us, but we had some dark times, along with some very good ones. I often wonder if that is one of the reasons we all get along so well.  The other thing is that we are all pretty much at the same level economically, give or take a bit.  Money, or especially the lack of it, can really mess up sibling relationships.  I have seen this first hand with my in-laws.

Back to the Duggars, I also can see where rifts could form between the sisters (and brothers) as adults.  Despite the fact that they all married young and popped out babies right away, their home lives are not too similar, and some of them will no doubt end up being in better financial shape.  There is bound to be some inevitable jealousy, as I think we are already seeing with Jessa.

Edited August 7, 2018 by 3 is enough

[Loves2Dance]

25 minutes ago, Steff said:

My mom and her sister hate each other in shifts.   #1 hates 2 & 3, while #2 hates 4,  #4 hates #3 for a few years and then they all change hate partners.  #2 & #3 (my mom) have pretty much always gotten along, but they were the least involved with each other when all us kids were small.  I don't know those cousins very well at all.  Now that all kids are grown, they get along great.  #1 and #4 are just vile evil bitches who hate everyone and think it's their job to make everyone else as miserable as they are. They only got more evil and bitchy as they got older.   #4 would kill #3 and laugh about it.    Not that I have an opinion on it.  LOL  

 

to make this on topic, I could see rifts forming now that the Duggar girls are adults.  All it takes is 1 daughter to think she's in a competition with another to get it rolling.  I can easily see how Jessa could grow more and more jealous over Jinger's happy life.  Jessa thought she had it really good until she got to see how good Jinger has it.  I don't think she sees Jill as competition tho.  Jill is that sister you roll your eyes at and wish she wasn't so stupid and weird. 

It's so much to keep up with isn't it? My mom has always been the martyr of the family so she's always on the outs. Growing up my sisters and my aunts kids are all super close, but the gap between me and my sister is 6 years, so I am actually closer in age to my eldest cousin's oldest than I am to most of my cousins. I'm not particularly close with any of them as a result. 

Going back to the Duggars, I do find it interesting that all of the daughters seem to constantly be in competition with each other but not the brothers. They either don't care or weren't raised to compete with each other, but those girls definitely did. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

I always wished for a sister as well...or, rather MY sister, as I had an identical twin who only lived for a couple of days after birth. I had a brother, as well, a few years later, but my mother seemed unable to carry a pregnancy to term, so she ended up with only me.

Mr Jyn comes from a family of six boys and a girl; he is the oldest, and the girl comes right in the middle. Some of them are closer than others, though it's rare that there is not someone not speaking to someone else at any given time. Most of them share the same prickly disposition, but the girl is probably the one most apt to cut off communications over trifles. My mother-in-law always said that if he had the choice, she'd have six more boys before she ever had another girl. *edit to say to 3 is enough, I love that we both used the adjective "prickly", and your description of your father sounds a lot like my late father-in-law, who passed that trait down.*

As far as our own kids, there are three, boy-girl-boy over the course of five and a half years. The oldest was always the most difficult, and had almost no relationship with his siblings between the age of 10 or so and his later 20's. The younger two have been reasonably close on and off, all their lives, and the oldest has come around to a feeling of family being one of the most important things in life, though as he is more of a staunch Republican with all the baggage that brings, it's made things a bit difficult for the rest of us- siblings, parents, grandparents, who lean much more liberal. There's still reasonably good communication between everyone, though, so I guess that's something.

Edited August 7, 2018 by Jynnan tonnix

[leighdear]

The Duggar boys, married & single, have a much wider variety of activities to keep them occupied.  But as stated, the girls only seem to have husband catching, baby making, housework avoiding and Instagramming to structure their lives with.  Oh, and Jana sews. 

Jing & Baaaaabe just seem to be more open to a variety of people & activities.  Still within the conservative patriarchy, but seemingly more relaxed than the others.  Less tense. 

Unlike the others, the Vuolos don't look like they could swallow coal and crap out diamonds.   

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, SMama said:

I hope this never happens as it will impede  Jinger’s growth. All Duggars must stay away as far as possible and allow JinJer their privacy and growth as a family. Duggars are poison! Does anyone know if JB is sending Duggar kids/kidults in shifts like they did with Volderjosh (DC) and Jill (CA)?

Maybe Jessa and Ben could grow too! 

[SMama]

Jessa will once again want to run Jinger’s life. Plus she’s judgmental AF. I don’t hold much hope for the Seewalds. They are worlds apart. YMMV

[DragonFaerie]

1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Yup...that'a probably what was behind the tone of her, "oh, she's cute" comment. If Felicity starts growing up cuter than Spurge and Henry, she really has nothing left to win at.

Annndddd right on cue, Jessa posts two  videos of Spurge on IG. 

Remember I'm here and I have the cute kid!!!!

I think Jessa was feeling a bit superior a few years ago.  She was the first to accept a courtship.  She had Spurge early on.  She reined in Bin's rants on social media and began to sort of understand it.  Then Derick went off the rails, begging for money, and then just continued to spiral out of control.  Joy married Austin and lived in an RV.  And those actions helped Jessa to look better and better without actually having to do anything.  Jinger going to Laredo with Jeremy was something I don't think she saw coming.  JinJer are living their lives, making their decisions, and coming across as the more worldly in the land of Duggars.  Now that JinJer has Felicity and the first granddaughter of one of the Duggar girls, Jessa must be scrambling, because literally, does she have any interests at all? besides Old Navy dresses?

[Aethera]

Folks, personal stories belong in Small Talk. Please stop derailing the threads about various Duggars into stories that don't have anything to do with the Duggars.

[Temperance]

53 minutes ago, SMama said:

Jessa will once again want to run Jinger’s life. Plus she’s judgmental AF. I don’t hold much hope for the Seewalds. They are worlds apart. YMMV

Even as a lapsed (kind of) heathen Catholic" I don't see Jer as less judgmental. Given how much value he seems to place on appearances, I would gather he's probably plenty judgmental just better at hiding it.  And maybe "running Jinger's life" too.  

 Jeremy is a lot like Jessa. 

Edited August 8, 2018 by Temperance

[MichaelaRae]

So an actual EDUCATED midwife can determine the position of a fetus and KNOW IF IT'S BREECH OR NOT (since full-term babies have basically no room to do magical flips in utero) - FASCINATING, isn't it, JillyMuffin and Joy????? It's amazing how things can go when you actually go with professionals vs. wannabes?

[Sew Sumi]

Joy's midwife actually had credentials beyond just a CPM. Too lazy to look it up now, but she is more qualified to identify emergent situations, or something like that. How she missed Giddy being breech is inexcusable. 

Edited August 8, 2018 by Sew Sumi

[GeeGolly]

All the Duggars are Fundies, as are Jinger and Jeremy. But as far as I've seen Jinger and Jeremy are staying in their own lane and preaching to their own choir. I can't imagine Jeremy getting into condescending Twitter arguments like Ben or spewing straight up judgmental hate like Derick. And I don't see Jeremy as hiding his hate and pretending to be something he's not. As far as I'm concerned everyone is free to believe what ever they need to believe. It's when they try and impose their beliefs onto others who aren't interested and start impeding on others' rights that it becomes a problem for me. Jeremy may think playing with one's willy is wrong but I really don't think his gives a shit about, or judges those who do.

I may be 100% wrong, but I'm not seeing it yet.

[lascuba]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

All the Duggars are Fundies, as are Jinger and Jeremy. But as far as I've seen Jinger and Jeremy are staying in their own lane and preaching to their own choir. I can't imagine Jeremy getting into condescending Twitter arguments like Ben or spewing straight up judgmental hate like Derick. And I don't see Jeremy as hiding his hate and pretending to be something he's not. As far as I'm concerned everyone is free to believe what ever they need to believe. It's when they try and impose their beliefs onto others who aren't interested and start impeding on others' rights that it becomes a problem for me. Jeremy may think playing with one's willy is wrong but I really don't think his gives a shit about, or judges those who do.

I may be 100% wrong, but I'm not seeing it yet.

That's the very definition of fundamentalism.

[Minivanessa]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

All the Duggars are Fundies, as are Jinger and Jeremy. But as far as I've seen Jinger and Jeremy are staying in their own lane and preaching to their own choir. I can't imagine Jeremy getting into condescending Twitter arguments like Ben or spewing straight up judgmental hate like Derick. And I don't see Jeremy as hiding his hate and pretending to be something he's not. As far as I'm concerned everyone is free to believe what ever they need to believe. It's when they try and impose their beliefs onto others who aren't interested and start impeding on others' rights that it becomes a problem for me. Jeremy may think playing with one's willy is wrong but I really don't think his gives a shit about, or judges those who do.

I may be 100% wrong, but I'm not seeing it yet.

But they are evangelicals, and a basic tenet of their faith is their duty to convert everyone else to their beliefs, i.e., to "save" them. They may not be as annoying as some evangelicals, they may leave money tips instead of Bible tracts when they dine out, and they haven't gotten into Derick's kind of obnoxious and stupid Twitter wars. But they would consider it a failure if they "stay in their own lane and preach to their own choir" and don't try to convert outsiders into joining that choir. Jeremy's just more sophisticated about it than Derick (who has said somewhere, I think in his LInkedIn profile, that he's involved in bringing the true Gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of Northwest Arkansas - seriously, you can't make this sh*t up).

Also @lascuba has pointed out that fundamentalism is all about calling the shots for everyone no matter if they follow your faith or not, including abridging the rights of others to live as they believe if it's different from the fundamentalist doctrine.

[zoomama]

so, still cant view the felicity videos. just wondering if jinger had a c-section also...have read a couple comments here that made me wonder.

[BitterApple]

27 minutes ago, zoomama said:

so, still cant view the felicity videos. just wondering if jinger had a c-section also...have read a couple comments here that made me wonder.

She delivered vaginally. Jana mentioned they were worried Jinger might need a c-section because her labor wasn't progressing, but after they gave her the epidural everything kicked into gear.