S02.E09: Episode 9

[OnceSane]

Samantha cancels a date with Justin to go back to Joe, so Justin takes Amber out and they learn the sexy art of salsa dancing. Meanwhile, bachelor Chris Bukowski arrives with a date card, but he struggles to make a good impression and is rejected by Tenley. Later, new arrival Chelsie steps into Paradise.

[betha]

These descriptions give away everything! Got to stop clicking...

[Dirtybubble]

 

These descriptions give away everything! Got to stop clicking...

 

Wow that is a lot of spoilers to give away just in an episode description...

[BubblingKettle]

Justin's vicious sunburn was painful to look at. And he and Amber seemed to have a bro-sis vibe, so the kissing looked forced. The heart-to-heart with Amber and Dan: Amber was drunk, and Dan like was so like not into her.  And WTF, Dan --- you like Samantha? I'm not seeing the Samantha beauty. To me, she has the pinched face of an aged drinker/smoker who is missing some teeth and likes to drink beers while hanging in the garage. 

 

Tenley's and Justin's authentic Mexican tacos looked mighty unimpressive - the meat looked like Spam. It's good that the chef's dish made up for it. Justin's table manners were atrocious. Plus, the thumb tattoo is suspect. 

 

Jarod needs to go -- he doesn't like anyone, and he's boring. 

 

I wonder if production knew what Samantha was up to.....or if they orchestrated it.

 

 

Ashley I really needs to get some help, and Ashley S needs to stop drinking on her meds.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Did anything happen in the last few minutes, besides Jared reading the letter some more?  I was watching Demi Lovato.

 

I'm trying to give the show a chance (as if I have a choice, it's summer LOL) and I seemed to watch it from a completely different perspective this time.

 

Ashley I. seemed sane, beautiful obviously, and even kind of adorable.  It was like I was cheering for her as a heroine in a romantic novel.  She also seems to have enough self-awareness, saying things like, "I know people think I'm crazy…"

 

Tenley -- what happened?  I thought that she was an average looking women when the show started.  But I think they did her hair and she was wearing an adorable outfit on the Joshua date, she suddenly seems very attractive.  It doesn't hurt that she's always smiling and seems very cool.

 

If you run into a manipulative woman that shows red flags like Samantha, just steer clear.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Ms Blue Jay

[CalamityBoPeep]

Ok, thank you, Show, for the literal (yep, I know what it means) laughing out loud.  Jared reading the letter at the end was priceless.

 

Brought back "Friends" memories... "Eighteen pages!  Front and BACK!"  (tm Ross).

 

ETA:  Samantha looks like so many of the pretty, mean-girls here in Indiana.  It's weird.  Do we have a "type" here that I never realized?  (Not that all the pretty girls are mean here, just that the mean-girls are pretty, and look a lot like Samantha in the facial structure.  Particularly the chin and lips.)

Edited August 31, 2015 by CalamityBoPeep

[CindyBee]

I love the editors of this show as the ending with Jared reading Ashley's letter was just perfect.

 

And I'm still perplexed on why Dan all of sudden is in love with Sam.  guess he just wanted to be the one that got the hottest girl there as it just seemed so random. 

 

As for Chris B, hope embarrassing yourself on national tv once again was worth it!

[Mu Shu]

I don't like Sam, but Me and Hoolia Down by the Schoolyard has a lot of nerve questioning why anyone is there. Go home and comb your ratchet ass hair and take care of your kid.

Mikey looks super dumb, and Joe looks like the Heat Miser. Who has a dimple between their eyes?

Dan is a little bitch.

Sam looks like a 45 yo with too much plastic surgery and Botox. The nose job is obvious, and gives her that pinched, witchy look.

[TiredMe]

Did they even show Chris leaving? I was reading my iPad and never saw it happen. He needs to just give it up. No one will ever take him seriously on these shows.

What the heck was Ashley on during the rose ceremony. That girl is strange but hilarious.

Glad to see Joe gone.

[wovenloaf]

I missed the first 16 minutes of tonight's episode, so I was pretty confused for a while about why Joe and Sam were all hunky dory again. Turns out I could have just missed the whole 2 hours, and actually been less confused about their "relationship"? Okay.

Oh, also, I am so so SO tired of listening to Dan talk about his feelings. He was annoying me so much tonight, I found myself disappointed that he was staying over Joe. OVER JOE. Now that is sad.

Edited August 31, 2015 by wovenloaf

[Ketzel]

This show is so stupid that I seem to feel my IQ falling by ten points for every half hour I watch. But I think I finally figured out why I can't quit you, show. It's exactly like watching my high school clique interact, except now I'm adult enough to understand the silliness and immaturity of the behavior.

 

And speaking of silliness and immaturity  . . .  Listen, Kardashley and Amber, , when a "boy" tells you he doesn't like you "that way," you really, really, really have to believe him and let him go.  You can play "hard to get" by going on dates with other boys (Amber) but if he doesn't like you that way, he won't care. You can pretend the relationship is still in your power and do things like write long letters to "persuade" him to come back to you (Kardashley) but it isn't and he won't.  And if the show is foreshadowing correctly (I know, I know) you can offer up your dubious virginity, and he may actually accept the offer, because guys like sex,  but he still won't be into you, except in the literal sense. It makes me cringe to see grown up women behaving in this way.

 

As for Carly and her clever plan to get Samantha ousted by fixing Dan up with Chelsie - please, girl. Dan has been visibly snorting and pawing the ground around Samantha for at least a week. He sets out to bust up Samantha and Joe and snag her rose for himself and succeeds. Finally he gets his hands on the hottest girl he's ever seen (according to him) and you think he's going to dis her by going out the very next day with a newcomer who, while cute, has nothing of the whole femme fatale thing Samantha has going on? Ha! I have no idea who Chelsie is going on a date with, but I will bet money it isn't Dan.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Ketzel

[reggiejax]

Tenley's and Justin's authentic Mexican tacos looked mighty unimpressive - the meat looked like Spam.

 

 

They were eating birria tacos. Birria looks about as appetizing as its name sounds. And I have always thought the name sounds too much like diarrhea. But it tastes alright. For the record, the meat in birria is goat. 

 

I was more worried about Tenley being on a moderately exotic culinary date because I know from following her on social media that she is gluten free. And not just as a trendy diet. She has celiac disease. So gluten kicks her ass. 

 

I don't know what, if anything, she ate that may have been problematic, but she must have been fine or we would have seen her being carted off in an ambulance. Lord knows this franchise loves its ambulance scenes. 

 

Did they even show Chris leaving? I was reading my iPad and never saw it happen. He needs to just give it up. No one will ever take him seriously on these shows.

 

He was shown leaving, and it was hilarious the way it was portrayed. Chris walked away from Paradise looking dejected, and the soundtrack over the footage was nothing but quotes of the other BIP'ers badmouthing him. It reached such a fever pitch that I thought it was going to end with either Chris jumping off a cliff or going back and killing them all. I kept expecting to hear "They're all going to laugh at you" among the other soundbites. 

 

I highly recommend you go back and watch. It is great stuff. 

Edited August 31, 2015 by reggiejax

[portfino]

Dan is the absolute worst. All of his "concern" for Juelia was really about his infatuation with Samantha. Then speaking for the group saying that no one blames Samantha. At least, Joe was honest about the fact that everything he was doing was for Samantha.

 

I still like Jared but he really should pull himself out of the show because Ashley I. isn't handling this well. Amber is a very pretty girl and seems intelligent, if none of the guys at Paradise are right for her, she should have the self-worth to leave.

Edited August 31, 2015 by portfino

[Kimmature]

I think that the show has pretty much jumped the shark for me.  I'm vaguely invested in a few people, but either I've watched too much Unreal or it's just become so stupid that I don't care that much now. 

 

The editing has been so horrible this season- people have sunburns, then they don't, people go on dates or have wet clothes, and then not.  Edits that paint someone as a villain or victim are done and gone after 10 minutes of airtime- more power to them. 

 

I don't care about Joe, or Samantha.  I think that the producers pretty much beat that storyline into the ground a few episodes ago.   I don't care about Juelia- she signed up for a dating reality show, and that's turned out to be as bad a decision as you would expect it to be. The crap about who contacted who prior to filming is really just shit- the "Bachelor Family" is a very small group of D-list celebrities  who have some sort of investment in playing out their franchise roles.  Everyone talks to each other- get over it.  

 

I admit that I'm a sucker for the franchise, but I'm finding it pretty hard slogging right now.  I don't care about or hate enough people to stay interested- I'll watch it to the end because my kids want to, but it used to be at least fun to watch. 

[yorklee2]

Samantha who do you think you are kidding? She is such a user and manipulator. No one is buying it except Dan who obviously just wants to sleep with her. He will crash and burn just as Joe did. Although it's hard to feel pity for Joe. What comes around goes around. Maybe he at least learned a lesson from it but with the person he showed himself to be I highly doubt it.

 

Ashley I- She really is a beautiful woman. Although she has a lot of growing up to do I believe she genuinely has a good heart and she pleasantly didn't cry when Amber told her that she had a interest in Jared. Kind of found myself rooting for her. Although from next weeks preview I hope she doesn't get her heart totally crushed if Jared refuses the fantasy suite date. I'm sure the waterworks will be back on then.

Edited August 31, 2015 by yorklee2

[Armchair Critic]

Bukowski you disappointed me flaming out so fast, I was hoping for more shenanigans.

 

Why is Dan so respected in this group? He looks too old and weaselly.

 

Josh seems like he rides the short bus, Tenley this is a bad rebound.

[Madding crowd]

Samantha is dead behind the eyes. She has a certain glamour look I guess, but zero personality. And her constantly talking about the stupid 'drama' drives me crazy-its all drama. Dan is handsome but he is just a weasel who tries to start trouble. I was surprised he got the rose though; usually the messengers that bring the news that someone is 'bad' get sent home. I really didn't understand Sam cuddling and kissing Joe one minute and then randomly giving her rose to Dan. 

 

Ashley I does seem nice and she is very beautiful, but she is so darn immature. Both she and Amber need to understand the concept of "He's just not into you". The new girl that just arrived is really not as attractive as the rest of the girls and now that everyone is pretty much partnered up (Jared and Justin are possible wild cards I guess), there is not as much "Drama".

Ashley S looked really stoned at the rose ceremony. Obviously she and Nick are not really an item. 

Edited August 31, 2015 by Madding crowd

[Kloie]

This ep was just bizarre. I kept feeling like I missed something - why did Samantha like Joe again? Why did she stop liking him later that day? Why is Dan such a tool, and was he one all along (probably)? Why is Amber so clueless that she can't choose between Justin and Dan, after Dan told her point blank that he doesn't like her?

New girl Chelsea is NOT cute.

I liked how Ashley S tried to call Samantha out after the rose ceremony, but all she could say was, "I'm struck by your beauty." Hah! Guess she is hypnotized by her, too.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Kloie

[wovenloaf]

I really liked how Ashley S. called Samantha a "dead bird." As a compliment! Ha! Man though, she seemed like she was on so many pills at that rose ceremony.

[Irritable]

Maybe I really am getting too old for this show, because I can't predict what any of these sleazoids are going to do anymore. I've been wrong about everything! Definitely didn't see it coming that Samantha would cancel her date with Justin to stay with Joe, then tell Dan that she kind of thought it might be love at first sight with Joe, only to listen to Dan say "Joe's no good for you", which I thought for SURE would make her more interested in Joe, only to have her turn around and give her rose to Dan? What?  Joe and Sam didn't have sex? What?  Jared accepted Ashley I's rose even though Amber gave him an out?  What?  Chris B. got drunk but didn't actually act like a giant ass at all, and even sweetly let Joshua use his date card to take out the woman who had just turned him down, and then left without any real drama?  What?

 

Justin seems pretty nice, but man did he ever bring all the wrong shirts. Amber knew they were going into town to salsa dance, so she wore a bikini and beach cover-up.  That was weird.  Ashley I's dress for the rose ceremony looked great on her.

 

Honestly Joe and editors, America did not need to finally see Samantha's text to Joe.  We never doubted its existence, we JUST DIDN'T CARE.

[comosedice]

So, I like Joshua and Tenley. They don't get much camera time, nobody really talks about them, and they seem doomed, but their relationship is drama-free, natural, and light. I also like that they are almost always with each other in the background talking and that Joshua can't keep his hands off of her.

I wonder why things ended between them. Tenley doesn't communicate with him on Twitter whatsoever.

Edited August 31, 2015 by OnceSane

[woodscommaelle]

What if Jared said no to Ashley bc he was waiting for Amber? Does Ashley just pick someone else?

Chelsie looks like Mary Lynn Rajskub.

Edited August 31, 2015 by woodscommaelle

[yorklee2]

What if Jared said no to Ashley bc he was waiting for Amber? Does Ashley just pick someone else?

Not sure how that would work since I didn't watch BIP last year but I'm sure if Jared said no Ashley would just prefer to leave the show since she would have a major meltdown and consider it the end of her dating life. She's a beautiful woman and I read somewhere that she actually has a degree from Syracuse ( I think that was the university). She should give herself more credit but she obviously has self esteem issues.

[Superpole2000]

Did Samantha kick a few puppies? The group revulsion is over the top.

 

This episode was even more boring than usual for this show. I think they need a new format for next season. Whatever this is, it isn't entertaining. At the very least, they need to mix up some of these couples or bounce them off the show entirely. When Samantha and Joe is your big plot, you know you have problems.

[piewarmer]

Is "Do whatever you need to do to get a rose" really that much of a smoking gun? It doesn't specifically mention killing kittens, playing tonsil hockey with widows, or abusing apostrophes, so how bad can it be?

 

But really, let's focus on the big issue here - why is Dan's beard so glisten-y? Beard glitter? Secret stash of Jheri Curl? I lost track of what he was saying because his Sparkle Plenty chin was so distracting.

Edited August 31, 2015 by piewarmer

[Armchair Critic]

Carly better not get too smug about her "old married couple" relationship with Kirk. She was very lucky to be in the original batch. If she would have been one of the women who had to come in later, she probably wouldn't have been able to hook up with somebody.

[Andromeda]

This show is so stupid that I seem to feel my IQ falling by ten points for every half hour I watch. But I think I finally figured out why I can't quit you, show. It's exactly like watching my high school clique interact, except now I'm adult enough to understand the silliness and immaturity of the behavior.

 

And speaking of silliness and immaturity  . . .  Listen, Kardashley and Amber, , when a "boy" tells you he doesn't like you "that way," you really, really, really have to believe him and let him go.  You can play "hard to get" by going on dates with other boys (Amber) but if he doesn't like you that way, he won't care. You can pretend the relationship is still in your power and do things like write long letters to "persuade" him to come back to you (Kardashley) but it isn't and he won't.  And if the show is foreshadowing correctly (I know, I know) you can offer up your dubious virginity, and he may actually accept the offer, because guys like sex,  but he still won't be into you, except in the literal sense. It makes me cringe to see grown up women behaving in this way.

 

That was so bizarre. Dan straight up tells Amber he's not into her at all, and Amber whines to the camera that she shouldn't have taken Justin on their date! When Dan just told her he wasn't into her and didn't once feel any concern about her going on said date. Then Ashley I. thinks a 29-page letter filled with verbal diarrhea about her feelings for her schoolyard crush will make Jared see the light -- and Jared, who told Ashley he was not into her at all, allows her to hang her bell around him and make him hers, and neither get the irony or the stupidity of tying themselves together when there's no future there. Is paradise really that fun, Jared, that you have to pretend with Ashley? Really? Then Samantha, who insists she's all about no drama, does the most dramatic thing she possibly can at a rose ceremony. Do these women lack critical thinking skills, or what?

 

Yes, Ashley S. says some weird stuff -- the stuff about Samantha being so gorgeous was leading up to what she said in her talking head, which is basically what the heck are you doing on a reality TV show trying to find a man, when clearly they're tripping over themselves to get to you, and why are you making such an effort to manipulate them? It's like her words don't catch up to her thoughts (or she did say that and the editors didn't show it.).

 

I thought I heard in a preview Samantha tell someone she had been in contact with FOUR guys before the show, but when that segment rolled around, I didn't hear her answer Ashley's question about how many. Ashley knows all about the texting with additional guys because she's hanging out with Nick, who was one of them. BTW, the actual texting isn't the issue -- they're a very incestuous group and follow each other on Twitter, and Nick talked about it freely when he arrived. It was the manipulating (Jublia) to stay that got people riled up (though that went WAAAY overboard.)

 

Joe sucks, for various and sundry reasons, not the least of which is how he wished he'd (insert coarse word here) Sam before they broke up -- he never saw her as anything but a trophy and only ever talked about her looks. Still, Sam stinks. Why didn't she take Joe aside beforehand and break it to him in private? That's the considerate thing to do. Why break up with him at all? As Joe said, they have only eight days left. She really is a hollow person -- no personality at all, no genuine emotion. Even her tears with Dan after the rose ceremony were oh-so-carefully executed. I'm amazed Jeuzelia went on a vacation with her and didn't see it, but she is pretty dim. 

 

Pretty entertaining episode, for the most part. Tomorrow should be fun.

No way is Jared going to be popping that particular cherry on national TV. I think even he realizes that'd be asking for tremendous trouble where Ashley's concerned. Or, he's stupid and horny.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Andromeda

[backformore]

Joe wants Samantha to take responsibility for 'What she did".  BUT, what exactly are her actions that she has to live with?   What she did was to tell him to stay on the show until she got there.  She didn't know what that was going to entail, she just told him to get a rose so he would still be there.   JOE was the one who toyed with Juelia's emotions in order to get that rose.  But Joe doesn't want to accept  responsibility for his own actions, he wants Samantha to accept responsibility for HIS actions.  Basically, I'm OK with everyone blaming Samantha -  EXCEPT joe.  He doesn't get to blame anyone. 

 

Funniest part of the show was at the end, when everyone was saying how horrible Sam was, and Dan says "nobody here blames you,"  when everyone but him clearly DID blame her. 

 

At the very end, the guys were talking about "the new girl"  and who would be interested.   Someone asked Nick if he was "set with Ashley S".  He made a gesture, and all the guys laughed.   Anyone want to explain that gesture?  I don't get it. 
 

[Andromeda]

At the very end, the guys were talking about "the new girl"  and who would be interested.   Someone asked Nick if he was "set with Ashley S".  He made a gesture, and all the guys laughed.   Anyone want to explain that gesture?  I don't get it. 

 

That was weird. I think it means they all know they've decided to remain a "couple" for the sake of staying on the show. I don't think it's serious for either Ashley or Nick, it's just for roses, but he has no desire to rock the boat by dating the new girl, either.

[Armchair Critic]

It was funny, but I think it was kind of mean for Jared to read her letter out loud. 

[Padma]

Samantha who do you think you are kidding? She is such a user and manipulator. No one is buying it except Dan who obviously just wants to sleep with her. He will crash and burn just as Joe did. Although it's hard to feel pity for Joe. What comes around goes around. Maybe he at least learned a lesson from it but with the person he showed himself to be I highly doubt it.

 

Ashley I- She really is a beautiful woman. Although she has a lot of growing up to do I believe she genuinely has a good heart and she pleasantly didn't cry when Amber told her that she had a interest in Jared. Kind of found myself rooting for her. Although from next weeks preview I hope she doesn't get her heart totally crushed if Jared refuses the fantasy suite date. I'm sure the waterworks will be back on then.

It's funny about these two. On Chris's season I thought it was strange that Samantha was one of the prettiest there but had zero camera time. I think others must have thought the same thing so she got this "reputation" as a great beauty. When she came on BiP I thought she wasn't quite as stunning as I remembered, but certainly was pretty. However, week by week she looks worse and worse. I can't tell if its physical (her hair looked bad tonight and she just looked plainer for some reason) or because her personality is so drab, so dull and so unpleasant. I can't understand why Dan, Joe, Ashley (lol), Carly ...everyone is so dazzled by her PR.

 

Ashley I on the other hand, looked gorgeous tonight. She's always beautiful but she just looked so much better than anyone else tonight, certainly SO much more attractive than Samantha.  And yet, no guy's interested. I know she's immature and emotional  (and claims to only have eyes for Jarodd--who really, really isn't "all that", sorry) but you'd think she'd be getting their attention--plus, needy! Isn't that appealing too, in a way? I thought these guys were all just interested in a fun time.

 

Aside from Samantha, the women seem a lot more attractive and appealing than the men. Couldn't B-I-P have done a better job of finding guys? Seriously, I'd love to see Nick Viall in this group. To me, he'd absolutely be a standout.

 

Beginnings and endings.  I tuned in -slightly- late and have no idea why Samantha and Joe are back together.  And Chris B's departure -was- kind of funny. Every show needs its laughing stock and, with all the competition, he seems to have secured the spot.

[chocolatine]

I was surprised [Dan] got the rose though; usually the messengers that bring the news that someone is 'bad' get sent home. I really didn't understand Sam cuddling and kissing Joe one minute and then randomly giving her rose to Dan. 

 

 I think in this case, Samantha was looking for a way to get rid of Joe because she was tired of him cock blocking every other guy's advances and threatening to "expose" her. She was pretending to be into him to keep him in line, and when she had the perfect opportunity - because she was the last to give out a rose, so Joe had no chance of getting a rose from anyone else - she dropped him like it was nothing.

 

It was funny, but I think it was kind of mean for Jared to read her letter out loud. 

 

I'm 100% sure the producers "encouraged" him read it out loud.

 

Amber needs to learn how to read a room. Dan made it very clear he wasn't into her, nothing confusing about it. Justin was completely indifferent to her taking his shirt off and initiating a make-out session in the middle of a crowded dance floor (which, WTF?! - if you're not dancing, get off the floor), and Jared was less than enthused about her offer of a rose. I was feeling embarrassed for her.

 

Finally, how great was Chris Bukowski's caption of every franchise season he's been on?

Edited August 31, 2015 by chocolatine

[Arkay]

Samantha has beautiful eyes, and light eyes are always striking with brunette hair, but this Helen of Troy thing is totally unjustified. Here in NYC I see 20 girls on each block who are prettier than Samanatha.

Samantha has no conversational apptitude, no sense of humor or anything interesting to say, other than " I've never had drama and i hate it SO MUCH, you guys!" What Samantha DOES possess is all the tricks of the trade when it comes to manipulative behavior. She uses the whole arsenal--- behavior that keeps the guys off guard,giving them attention in small doses to keep them hooked while also scanning the room for better options. Even her ecstatic reaction to Dan's having a tissue...classic design to make a man feel like the knight in shining armor. That plus the silent stare, timed just so to keep the men on tenterhooks.

[Andromeda]

Ashley I on the other hand, looked gorgeous tonight. She's always beautiful but she just looked so much better than anyone else tonight, certainly SO much more attractive than Samantha.  And yet, no guy's interested. I know she's immature and emotional  (and claims to only have eyes for Jarodd--who really, really isn't "all that", sorry) but you'd think she'd be getting their attention--plus, needy! Isn't that appealing too, in a way? I thought these guys were all just interested in a fun time.

Ashley I. really is gorgeous. She was glowing tonight, and her outfits were really flattering. Funny that the guys (Dan, at least) can overlook a woman's sketchy, heartless behavior yet not accept Ashley's immaturity, when it's not nearly as mean-spirited (can be, though). Most of the guys don't think much of Sam, though, for sure. Or if they initially wanted her, they got over her real fast (Nick) or they see through her (Tanner, Jared, the rest except for Dan.).

I sure think a lot less of Dan now. He was pretty mean-spirited, too, the way he intentionally maligned Joe's character, making out he's some kind of Supervillain. When he's basically just a manipulative dick in over his head with an even more manipulative woman.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Andromeda

[mertensia]

So if I'm interpreting Samantha's "no drama!" comments correctly what she really means is: "listen asshole; the only drama I enjoy is the drama I manufacture. Who the hell do you think you are?"

It makes me stabby when I watch Ashley I and Amber be all "but I love him! Therefore he must love me back!" If you want unconditional love, adopt a tribble.

[DEL901]

. I really didn't understand Sam cuddling and kissing Joe one minute and then randomly giving her rose to Dan. 

 

 

This ep was just bizarre. I kept feeling like I missed something - why did Samantha like Joe again? Why did she stop liking him later that day?

 

I think an earlier poster nailed it.  She was back with Joe to shut him up.  The first chance she had to cut him loose... last rose of the night... good bye Joe!

 

As for Chris... I hope they paid him a lot to make a fool of himself.  I think he knew just how badly he was perceived by the others so he just drank himself into oblivion.  Next stop:  Celebrity Rehab

[Stella MD]

Ashley I on the other hand, looked gorgeous tonight. She's always beautiful but she just looked so much better than anyone else tonight, certainly SO much more attractive than Samantha. And yet, no guy's interested. I know she's immature and emotional (and claims to only have eyes for Jarodd--who really, really isn't "all that", sorry) but you'd think she'd be getting their attention--plus, needy! Isn't that appealing too, in a way? I thought these guys were all just interested in a fun time.

I agree they're interested in a fun time - which is why there's little point in getting involved with a virgin. Plus, not only is Kardashley frustratingly high maintenance (who wants to spend every free moment in paradise apologizing and handing out tissues a weepy mess?) but also exhibits all the warning signs of a Stage 5 Clinger - anyone who gives her a second look will probably need a restraining order once they return stateside. I'm not surprised that the men aren't remotely interested.

[JenE4]

Oh, Bukowski. It broke my heart seeing him go down like that. That was like seeing an athlete with a stellar, record-breaking career end up choking in their final game before retirement. But, i suppose his hubris is what led to his downfall. He's used to multiple women throwing themselves at him for reasons unknown, so he thought he didn't even need to try to speak with the women. I wonder if/when anyone noticed that he left.

I couldn't stop wincing at Justin's sunburn and yelling at my TV, "Why didn't anyone give this man some sunscreen?! Does anyone have aloe for the poor guy?!"

It boggles my mind how, once again, Jared had the chance to ditch Ashley--especially after that monstrosity of a missive--and he STILL accepted her rose...even though it seems like they barely speak other than at the rose ceremonies. I don't get it. The producers must be encouraging him to stick with her for good TV. Just like they're making Nick stick with the other Ashley because they want to keep her around. Otherwise his resigned shrug and laughs all around that he couldn't accept the new girl's rose because he was stuck with Ashley doesn't make sense; he could certainly ditch her after one date.

[mertensia]

I agree they're interested in a fun time - which is why there's little point in getting involved with a virgin.

Well anyone who brings out her virginity like it's a prize for the guy who wins her must be a turn-off. Be a virgin, don't be one I don't care. But dangling that you are to try and attract guys you want is just wrong.

[JudyObscure]

Ashley I on the other hand, looked gorgeous tonight. She's always beautiful but she just looked so much better than anyone else tonight, certainly SO much more attractive than Samantha. And yet, no guy's interested.

I always wondered that about Kardashley even on Chris's season. I think it's an 'on TV vs in person' thing. They're seeing each other all day while running around in bikinis. We're seeing mainly powdered up, close-ups under interview lights. Our Kardashley stands out there. She has that big drop-dead gorgeous face and comes across as vulnerable and sweet when she's not actively laughing at Clare's pain. In person, the big face may seem a bit gross, it's much bigger than Jared's when she's in close to him. And her legs aren't the best. Way back during the bikini tractor drive I noticed that they were rather large and shapeless. Add in the constant runny nose from crying and peeing in the ocean? Not the stuff of fantasies.

Ashley S, while petite and perfect from head to toe, has a slightly flat face and determined little chin, sort of like Reese Witherspoon's. Guys either like that sort of face -- or prefer the high cheekbones look. Sam, on the other hand, has no visible faults that my critical eye can pick out, although others here think her face looks small, pinched, and botoxed. That may be a plus where everyone else is shiney with sweat.

There's just no explaining those guys in Paradise though, to me, as a group, none of them seem worthy of the women.

In other news, Tanner is more judgmental than I am and I'm getting tired of it. Sammantha is "manipative?" How about your demure lady friend who goes from naked wild child to tightly bunned schoolmarm from one week to the next?

[Bugs Meany]

Poor Justin. He's as suited for this climate as a penguin in Saudi Arabia.
 

Not sure how that would work since I didn't watch BIP last year but I'm sure if Jared said no Ashley would just prefer to leave the show since she would have a major meltdown and consider it the end of her dating life. She's a beautiful woman and I read somewhere that she actually has a degree from Syracuse ( I think that was the university). She should give herself more credit but she obviously has self esteem issues.

 
Didn't Dylan turn down a rose from Elise last season, after warning her he wouldn't accept it? I forget what happened after that.
 
Yes, Ashley I. has a master's in journalism from Syracuse.
 
As for Ashley S., I think the crazy-or-just-an-act? question argument was settled last night. She asked Samantha a good question (how many guys was she texting before the show?) and then lost all coherence. You can't fake those vacant eyes.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Bugs Meany

[MsPH]

It makes me stabby when I watch Ashley I and Amber be all "but I love him! Therefore he must love me back!" If you want unconditional love, adopt a tribble.

 

Me too! If I ever end up single again my number one requirement for a guy I date will be that he likes me at least as much, if not more, than I like him. If that's not met then the rest his meaningless. Why these women want to prolong the torture of chasing a guy who's uninterested is beyond me. You can't always get what you want, get over it!

[DeLurker]

Joe sucks, for various and sundry reasons, not the least of which is how he wished he'd (insert coarse word here) Sam before they broke up -- he never saw her as anything but a trophy and only ever talked about her looks. Still, Sam stinks. Why didn't she take Joe aside beforehand and break it to him in private? That's the considerate thing to do. Why break up with him at all? As Joe said, they have only eight days left. She really is a hollow person -- no personality at all, no genuine emotion. Even her tears with Dan after the rose ceremony were oh-so-carefully executed. I'm amazed Jeuzelia went on a vacation with her and didn't see it, but she is pretty dim. 

 

Pretty entertaining episode, for the most part. Tomorrow should be fun.

No way is Jared going to be popping that particular cherry on national TV. I think even he realizes that'd be asking for tremendous trouble where Ashley's concerned. Or, he's stupid and horny.

Where would the drama, that she has never ever been a part of, be in that?  But then again, Joe doesn't strike me as the guy that would handle the break up well.  And bonus points to Joe for using "altercation" correctly multiple times!

 

It appears if Jared is horny, there would be a couple of other takers.  I'm hoping he's not that stupid.

 

Basically, I'm OK with everyone blaming Samantha -  EXCEPT joe.  He doesn't get to blame anyone. 

 

Funniest part of the show was at the end, when everyone was saying how horrible Sam was, and Dan says "nobody here blames you,"  when everyone but him clearly DID blame her.

 

This.  And Dan has certainly drank the kool--aid, but I loved everyone else's WTF? face when he said it in the group.

 

It was funny, but I think it was kind of mean for Jared to read her letter out loud. 

You're on a reality show.  She, theoretically, should have no expectation it would not be read on camera.

 

I sure think a lot less of Dan now. He was pretty mean-spirited, too, the way he intentionally maligned Joe's character, making out he's some kind of Supervillain. When he's basically just a manipulative dick in over his head with an even more manipulative woman.

And when that happens, it is good tv.  No one to feel bad for.

 

The guy who went on the date with Amber - Justin?  He had the weirdest sunburn ever!  His face and neck looked tan, but then his upper body did but with some strange white patches.

[seacliffsal]

A few thoughts...so, since the producers and all of the bachelors/bacheloretts think Juelia is the BEST THING EVAH, and is so deserving of finding love on this show...why don't they just name her the next Bachelorette? Oh, that's right-nobody really thinks she deserves it more than they do (so Dan, why don't you give her your rose since you want her to stay so much, oh that's right-you want Joe or somebody else to fall on their sword for her, not you [last week's episodes]). Oh, and imagine the hilarity that would ensue if they announced to all of the women that they were going to pick the next Bachelorette from the women on this show and since all the women obviously think Juelia DESERVES to find love on the Bachelor franchise that they have chosen her. Yep, there would be such a major meltdown.

Dan is the source of much of the drama. It was hilarious when he decided to speak for the group and tell Samantha that everything was unicorns and roses and they all loved her and found her blameless. Although I have been bored with Jared, I loved that he spoke up and told Samanthat 'not so much.' Wow, when did Dan decide that he was the spokeman and the moral compass for everyone else. He's the one who really sees Samantha as a trophy. Yep, I won her in spite of all the other guys doing their best to get her...

Jared, Jared, Jared...when a woman refuses to honor your statement that you are not in to her, and then writes a huge missive about her love for you, DON'T keep giving her hope. Make a clean break even if it means that you will have to leave "paradise." Not only are you making it harder for her, you're really going to make it harder for yourself. There is no future prize in the Bachelor world that is worth what you are going to go through. No should mean no. However, when you keep redefining what no means, it will become worthless.

Is it possible that the producers hinted that there would be some kind of prize other than a Neil Lane diamond? Too many people are playing it safe to make it to the end. Quite frankly, I liked how Chris just left. Only one person he wanted to ask out, she said no, he got his fill of sun and booze and just left. I kind of cheered for him. He gets to stay relevant as that guy who shows up and leaves from every Bachelor event without having to endure drama and cry fests. He may be the only one who truly gets it.

Oh, and I agree about Justin's sunburn. OUCH! It almost looked like he put sunscreen on his arms with his shirt on and then took off his shirt without reapplying sunscreen to his newly exposed skin.

Edited August 31, 2015 by seacliffsal

[JudyObscure]

You're on a reality show. She, theoretically, should have no expectation it would not be read on camera.

Particularly since she gave it to him in front of a camera. We know from TB that lots of notes are passed in private, but you have to initiate the transaction in private. Like slipping it under Jared's pillow when no one's around.

What really gets me about the, "Joe is a bad guy," conversation is that Sam never asked for, and Dan never gave, any specifics. If I had just spent a few weeks with a guy who treated me well and someone I barely knew walked up and said he was "bad," I would at least ask for a few examples other than the worn out, "He wasn't nice to Jublia," thing.

[leighdear]

 

Quite frankly, I liked how Chris just left. Only one person he wanted to ask out, she said no, he got his fill of sun and booze and just left. I kind of cheered for him. He gets to stay relevant as that guy who shows up and leaves from every Bachelor event without having to endure drama and cry fests. He may be the only one who truly gets it.

I loved it too!  I hope he shows up for the next Bachelorette cycle, as he's still amusing to me and he absolutely seems to be enjoying his appearances.  Maybe not the end result of this one, but at least we know he got paid!

 

I think when Ashley S went off the rails with her admiration of Samantha's beauty, we saw some master editing and splicing of footage.  We know that happens frequently, and I found her words and phrases just a little too off-the-wall and disjointed to be a single statement.  Of course, it could also have been totally legit and tequila induced.  

[yorklee2]

It was funny, but I think it was kind of mean for Jared to read her letter out loud. 

Yes I think so too but oddly enough he did except her rose. No guy likes to read long letters about feelings but I think Jared is a nice guy who felt a little touched (pity?) by her sincerity. His reading it out loud was no doubt prompted by the producers but it seems his mindset is " we just have a few weeks left, let's just get through that and I can deal with the inevitable later". Although the forced fantasy suite date by Ashley will bring that all to a head and not in a good way for her I'm afraid. It will be interesting to see how he handles that.

[Bugs Meany]

It was funny, but I think it was kind of mean for Jared to read her letter out loud. 

 

And in such a halting, monotone fashion. Anything can be made to sound like vapid ramblings when you read it that way.

 

ETA: Ashley tweeted that she'll read the whole thing aloud on Periscope (username ashleyiaco) at 1 PM Eastern/10 AM Pacific.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Bugs Meany

[wovenloaf]

In other news, Tanner is more judgmental than I am and I'm getting tired of it. Sammantha is "manipative?" How about your demure lady friend who goes from naked wild child to tightly bunned schoolmarm from one week to the next?

I'm losing it with Tanner and his cheesy analogies. I can't take that that dork telling me one more time that Samantha is some sort of "chessmaster." They played his crappy chess analogy multiple times during last week's episode, and then he made more references to it this week. There were also some other read-off-a-cue-card ones scattered throughout last week's and this week's episodes that I have thankfully blocked out of my mind. That guy is so boring. Imagine if you had to listen to all his damn similes at work every day - ugh, shoot me. It's one thing that they are so pointless and cheesy, but it's even worse that he actually thinks he's being clever when he does it! Dumb grin, like "Haha look at me, I'm really *illuminating* the situation for you." Shut the hell up, Tanner. 

 

As for Ashley S., I think the crazy-or-just-an-act? question argument was settled last night. She asked Samantha a good question (how many guys was she texting before the show?) and then lost all coherence. You can't fake those vacant eyes.

Yeah I'm not convinced she's actually crazy, but those vacant eyes really are something else. And she was so out of it last night, she seemed like she could barely make her hands work when she was trying to pin that rose on Nick. Hopefully it's just a combination of tequila and bad editing...

 

The guy who went on the date with Amber - Justin?  He had the weirdest sunburn ever!  His face and neck looked tan, but then his upper body did but with some strange white patches.

Half-assed sunscreen application, I'd assume?

 

I think Justin is so brutally unattractive. Even without the sunburn. Amber being like "he's so attractive" or whatever she said a few times - I did not get it. The Joe's and Chris Bukowkski's of the world are unattractive in a "meh, whatever" type of way, but I find Justin unattractive in a "get that man's face off my screen immediately" type of way. (I know that's shallow...)

Edited August 31, 2015 by wovenloaf

[ramble]

I understood why Chris Buk left, but I wish he would've stayed. He has always provided great entertainment, at least for me. I would've enjoyed him showing Sam how to play a true manipulative game. After having seen him in his multiple appearances I feel like he's a pro at this trashy stuff compared to these babies. I did roll my eyes at the snarky comments about who this old guy was from the way back seasons since obviously these folks are so fresh & relevant. They are looking at the master of milking his 15 minutes & using this show to his advantage. They should've been taking notes & learning his tricks.

I'm bored with Sam & her ability to entice multiple men. I don't get it. I find her pretty, but in a harsh, pinched way & her personality comes across as shallow & mean. I wouldn't want to hang out with that at the villa of sweat & crabs. Additionally her Crystal Gayle of swinging tangledness makes me want to sneak up behind her with garden shears.

Tanner is coming across as a gossipy mean boy who likes to try to be sly on the side. Jared, boring Jared, is being more upfront about his questions for the villians who vill. Speaking of boring Jared he seemed to be stumbling through the junior high letter of love. If Ashley I. had signed her name with a heart, TLA & their initials in a cross I would've asked her to go steady myself.

ETA:

The guy who went on the date with Amber - Justin? He had the weirdest sunburn ever! His face and neck looked tan, but then his upper body did but with some strange white patches.

I think the white spots were from the mike pack-harness necklace contraption Edited August 31, 2015 by ramble