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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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59 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

@Mindthinkr is there a rock or something on the floor somewhere? Maybe someone threw a rock thru your window. Are you safe tonight with a shattered window? Is there someone who can help you secure the window? Glad you're ok. 

That’s what I thought. Retaliation from Mr. Chemo for ditching him. I hope it was an accident. Stay safe! You seem like a sweetheart. 

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3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’m in shock. I just heard a terrible crashing. I was in my room, but started to light up the house like a Christmas tree to see what happened. My living room window shattered! I first thought a mirror had come down off the wall. Then I got scared thinking a robber broke in. I did a systematic room check and then spotted the broken glass on my living room floor. My heart rate jumped! Funny thing is my cat Squeaky was on the couch and sat there through the whole thing. I suspected she is having hearing loss, but that confirmed it. If I was her I’d have been off running. It was really loud. 

Oh my, please stay safe.

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11 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Yikes, @Mindthinkr!! Are you all right? 

@Jynnan tonnix, your dog is so cute! Then and now. 

Actually, the possibility of outliving a dog isn't my most important reason for not getting another dog. It's way down below the logistics of having a dog in a condo (several daily walks year round including in icy winter weather), the expense, and the complications involved with having a dog and traveling. My hat's off to all you compassionate warm-hearted animal lovers who have adopted rescues, and fostered dogs or cats, and wound up providing loving homes to pets who survive your parents. ❤️

I totally understand, Jeeves. We're in a condo too, with our 16 yo cat. I'm more of a dog person. Our last dog died in 2014. This is the longest and only time we've ever been without at least one dog in our many years of marriage! The fact that our cat hates dogs was the original reason, but now there are other reasons similar to yours, that we probably won't get another dog. We are first floor with a private entrance and walking paths. Many people in our association have dogs. It's the winter months that concern me. We didn't venture out much this very snowy and cold winter. With a dog, you have to do that 3X a day at least. If the dog pulls, it could lead to a fall in icy weather and I have osteoporosis. We love to travel and I don't know how we would have our dog cared for when we are away. I always dreamed of adopting senior dogs when we retired, but my husband doesn't have the same dream! We always had a fenced yard for letting the dogs out in the past. I love dogs, but I think we'll just continue to enjoy our neighbors' dogs when we're out and about. It's funny, but we know more of the dogs' names around here than the people! 

I don't know about getting another cat ever either. Maybe another senior one day. We got Midnight when he was 7 and he's been great, except for barfing on the furniture and rugs. He'll barf anywhere! 🐱 🤮 Our granddaughter loves taking care of him when we travel. She's been a cat enthusiast since the day she was born! She used to say she WAS a kitty! I think when Midnight's time comes, we'll try living without a pet and see how it goes. But I think he'll be with us for some time, keeping us laughing at his antics! He's a very chatty cat.

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@QuinnInND well at least you aren’t surprised by what was in your mom’s letter. 
And yay, taxes are done! This is the first time in over 40 years that I am not a tax preparer so I am happy to say, I haven’t even looked at my own return yet.

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27 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Yes, @Mindthinkr, have you been able to get your window fixed?

And @QuinnInND...sparkling toilets aside, are you really okay?

Yeah, I'm ok. Completely aggravated though. Just pissed me off something fierce. Maybe she is sincere in her desire to reconnect and attempt to repair our relationship a bit, but I'm not buying it. Rings hollow to me. She knew what he was doing. She had to know.  She knew he took me to a backwoods abortionist. She knew when we came home and I was in agony and bleeding like a stuck pig. She had to know it was him who got me pregnant. Like I was a promiscuous 12 year old. Suuure. But she didn't know she says. Or didn't realize. Ugh. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. 

 

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Window Update: The repair place isn’t open until Monday unless it’s an emergency. Since I still have another layer of glass, I’m going to wait. Partially because I don’t want to pay emergency prices or have them trotting through my living room. It’s not dirty, but it’s still a bit messy. Tomorrow is chore day. I’m watching the Bosch Stakeout with a bunch of people from all over. Japan, France, UK and US. We do trivia games, post pictures and chat about the show. The kitties are sound asleep next to me. BB is getting annoyed because his sister Squeaky is snoring.😹 We are having a chill day after all of the events of the week. I spared y’all the details as things unfolded. All is good today. So far. I’m half expecting another window to blow...just kidding I hope. 

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Oh, @QuinnInND. I am so sorry. How absolutely awful. I send you an enormous hug and my absolute admiration for your strength in how far you’ve come. 

As for the letter...she can eat a shit sandwich. Burn it, flush it, and get back to your excellent life, already in progress. 

She doesn’t deserve to know you.

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25 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Yeah, I'm ok. Completely aggravated though. Just pissed me off something fierce. Maybe she is sincere in her desire to reconnect and attempt to repair our relationship a bit, but I'm not buying it. Rings hollow to me. She knew what he was doing. She had to know.  She knew he took me to a backwoods abortionist. She knew when we came home and I was in agony and bleeding like a stuck pig. She had to know it was him who got me pregnant. Like I was a promiscuous 12 year old. Suuure. But she didn't know she says. Or didn't realize. Ugh. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. 

 

It always hurts doesn't it.  Time goes by but nothing anybody says or does makes it ok.  Abusers swear they are sorry, some saved by Jesus but none of that makes what they did years ago or let happen to a kid ok.

Sometimes you just need to walk away.  It's kind of a come to jesus moment in your life.  It's freeing because they can't hurt you anymore.

My advice.  Send a note to mom and sis saying goodbye.  Unfortunately they are a package deal.I

Make your own good memories with the family and friends that don't hurt and disappoint you!

 "You is smart, you is kind, you is important"!  

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5 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So I got out of the house today! A photo meetup at the Butterfly Pavilion, everybody masked, limited number of people. I think at least half of the attendees were partly (one shot) or fully vaccinated. My "big girl" camera wasn't dusty but I realized after the shoot that I've used it so little over the past months that I hadn't adjusted the time setting when Daylight Savings time ended. Sigh. A few shots:

20210206-Butterfles-23a.thumb.jpg.e6c0f9ec70db37632616631ab3b19de2.jpg

 

20210206-Butterfles-152a.thumb.jpg.b62e94f762d830e1d36eb31ca6d99186.jpg

 

20210206-Butterfles-179a.thumb.jpg.b4a0b4ac7437118d697c4584be7f22d9.jpg

Beautiful shots!

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(edited)

I just happened to turn across this song today. OMG.....it blew me away.  I did grow up with a dad, but this song is still so amazing!  So inspiring! I’m a definite Kane Brown fan now.  

 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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10 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So I got out of the house today! A photo meetup at the Butterfly Pavilion, everybody masked, limited number of people. I think at least half of the attendees were partly (one shot) or fully vaccinated. My "big girl" camera wasn't dusty but I realized after the shoot that I've used it so little over the past months that I hadn't adjusted the time setting when Daylight Savings time ended. Sigh. A few shots:

20210206-Butterfles-23a.thumb.jpg.e6c0f9ec70db37632616631ab3b19de2.jpg

 

20210206-Butterfles-152a.thumb.jpg.b62e94f762d830e1d36eb31ca6d99186.jpg

 

20210206-Butterfles-179a.thumb.jpg.b4a0b4ac7437118d697c4584be7f22d9.jpg

So beautiful!  Thanks for sharing!

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4 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I just happened to turn across this song today. OMG.....it blew me away.  I did grow up with a dad, but this song is still so amazing!  So inspiring! I’m a definite Kane Brown now.  

 

I like him a lot!

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1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

Oh, @QuinnInND. I am so sorry. How absolutely awful. I send you an enormous hug and my absolute admiration for your strength in how far you’ve come. 

As for the letter...she can eat a shit sandwich. Burn it, flush it, and get back to your excellent life, already in progress. 

She doesn’t deserve to know you.

Thank you. I agree pretty much. I'm still on the fence with my sister.  

@Jeeves beautiful shots! Glad you got out and had a good day! 

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3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

It always hurts doesn't it.  Time goes by but nothing anybody says or does makes it ok.  Abusers swear they are sorry, some saved by Jesus but none of that makes what they did years ago or let happen to a kid ok.

Sometimes you just need to walk away.  It's kind of a come to jesus moment in your life.  It's freeing because they can't hurt you anymore.

I so agree with this.  Aiding and abetting an abuser....and then apologizing for it, it's more for their own conscience than it is to ease the pain of the abused.   

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@QuinnInND long ago I used to watch Dr Phil after WFA all day and your mother's letter was the same as basically 90% of the parents who had been involved in abuse situations.  They want the child to make nice, but have nothing constructive to offer.  It's a long whine of I didn't know or there was nothing I could do.

I don't know why they can't simply say I'm so so sorry.  I don't know that there is ever anything they can do, but asking for a relationship without admitting their wrongs or complicity wouldn't and didn't work for me either.

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8 minutes ago, Absolom said:

@QuinnInND long ago I used to watch Dr Phil after WFA all day and your mother's letter was the same as basically 90% of the parents who had been involved in abuse situations.  They want the child to make nice, but have nothing constructive to offer.  It's a long whine of I didn't know or there was nothing I could do.

I don't know why they can't simply say I'm so so sorry.  I don't know that there is ever anything they can do, but asking for a relationship without admitting their wrongs or complicity wouldn't and didn't work for me either.

She did say she should have stayed with my bio dad. So there's that almost admission that she was wrong to go back to my stepfather. I never thought I'd ever get an "I'm sorry" in any way from her. But I'm still pissed off. I want answers from her, but don't want to get mired down in shit. My poor husband. He's such a doll. Holding me close as I cried and ranted and raved earlier.  

11 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Can someone come over and hide my credit cards? I want to buy some vans and hey dude shoes... The urge is so strong! 

Love Vans! They're so comfy! Wait. That's not helping, is it? 😂

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On 3/3/2021 at 11:40 AM, QuinnInND said:

Thank you! I can't believe how old I am now! My tiny humans sang happy birthday to me today, and my husband and kids made me breakfast this morning. Good day so far! 

Happy Birthday GIF by GIPHY Studios Originals

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Ok so here's a question: I have a love-hate relationship with tights. I sort of hate them but I also love them because I like to wear skirts sometimes in colder weather and tights make that possible.

So everyone is talking about sheertex "unbreakable" tights. Anyone get them and know if they live up to the name? Also, their nude colored tights -- are they more like thick dance tights or like regular hose? They cost a lot but I wonder if they're worth just plunking down the money.

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@QuinnInND, I hope you are ok after reading your mom’s letter. So glad you have the strength and love of your husband to help and comfort you. I can certainly understand you not wanting to cut out your sister, it wasn’t her fault. But, then it’s a conundrum how to not involve your mom. So sorry again that you have this unthinkable abuse in your past.

@Jeeves, your butterfly pictures are so lovely and calming. Thank you for sharing them with us. So glad you had a nice change of scenery.

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(edited)

Well, I got in yesterday for the first dose of The Vaccine! Stumbled upon a cancellation at a pharmacy 15 minutes from my house. Got the confirmation at 2:30 and the appointment for 4:00. I was so happy when I got the shot! 

Edited by Westiepeach
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@QuinnInND all the love and support right now. 
 

My godmother is back in the hospital. I called my sister’s caregiver to see if she would work a half day today (for a full day’s pay) so I can go with my Mom and she can meet with the care team. My Mom told my godsister to GET HERE. 
 

It’s been a tumultuous three weeks. I’m exhausted, as is my Mom. My heart breaks for her. 
 

 

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(edited)
52 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes, my late uncle had a huge appetite. He wasn't overweight. He was just a big dude who could eat like no tomorrow. He had plenty of food growing up, but he would eat everything in the house if left to his own devices. Most people in the family just think of it as one of his quirks. But my dad was often on the receiving end of having his food stolen by his much older, much bigger brother when their parents weren't around, and to this day, as a nearly 60 year old man, he just goes absolutely batshit ballistic if anyone even jokes about taking food from him. 

Bringing this over from one of the other topics since it's not Duggar specific. I didn't really have food swiped from me as a kid. But I learned as an office worker, that there are people who WORK WITH YOU who will go into the communal office fridge and STEAL AND EAT YOUR FOOD and not think twice about it. 

I did not react well on the thankfully few occasions when it happened to me. Inevitably, it seemed to be when I was very busy and had no option to replace the stolen lunch by taking the time to leave the office and get other food. 

Then, a few years ago I worked for awhile in a very small office, having replaced someone who had moved on to a better job. I was stunned to hear that she (the woman who'd moved on) was a food thief. I knew that everyone liked her and spoke well of her. I'd met her and liked her too. But they also rather indulgently talked about how she would go rummaging around in the break room fridge and just help herself to whatever took her fancy, apparently without asking first.

Lord. I'm sure my face must have given away how astounding I found their attitude. If she'd done that to my lunch, believe me, we would have Had Words. Just saying. 

Edited by Jeeves
words
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Just now, Jeeves said:

Bringing this over from one of the other topics since it's not Duggar specific. I didn't really have food swiped from me as a kid. But I learned as an office worker, that there are people who WORK WITH YOU who will go into the communal office fridge and STEAL AND EAT YOUR FOOD and not think twice about it. 

I did not react well on the thankfully few occasions when it happened to me. Inevitably, it seemed to be when I was very busy and had no option to replace the stolen lunch by taking the time to leave the office and get other food. 

Then, a few years ago I worked for awhile in a very small office, having replaced someone who had moved on to a better job. I was stunned to hear that she (the woman who'd moved on) was a food thief. I knew that everyone liked her and spoke well of her. I'd met her and liked her too. But they also rather indulgently talked about how she would go rummaging around in the break room fridge and just help herself to whatever took her fancy, apparently without asking first.

Lord. I'm sure my face must have given away how astounding I found their attitude. If she'd done that to my lunch, believe me, we would had Had Words. Just saying. 

Yes, I have been spared that in an office setting, but I've heard of people doing that at work and it absolutely boggles my mind. At the library, we have an understanding that food that is on one shelf is for everyone, and that anything in somebody's personal spot--we just sort of claim odd corners because we're a small library--is hands off. For the most part, it's not been a problem, but we did have a newbie eat stuff that was not from the communal shelf before someone warned her that was a big no. 

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(edited)

I was accidentally a food thief in my office once. There were several of us who used to bring in the same brand of frozen meals and keep them in the break room freezer. One day I grabbed one, nuked it, and ate it right up without thinking twice. A coworker came in and is digging around in the freezer and then angrily exclaims "someone took my <insert meal name>! I can't believe it, who would do that?!" I was mortified and went to the grocery store that night and bought her two of those meals to replace the one I accidentally ate.

We've never seemed to have a food thief on purpose at my office, but we did have someone who would take pieces of the middle of food left out to share (like office birthday cakes left out in the break room for people to finish after the party is done). It was bizarre. This person would cut a piece out of the middle of cookie cakes, even when there were slices already cut to take. I still don't know who it was. I kind of miss seeing the weirdos I work with in person now.

Edited by emma675d
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We had a food thief at our agency. Two of our kitchens were accessible to all staff, a third kitchen accessible to most staff. The thief had access to all three. Most of us narrowed it down three 'suspects'. It got so bad that our CEO sent out a staff wide email basically saying three things, if you're in need of food come to me privately, if not, stop stealing food and if caught you're fired.

Two of our three suspects left there positions within a few weeks of the email. We never did figure out if it was either or both of them, or if the thief just stopped.

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A woman I worked with had her lunch stolen that she had brought in a Tupperware set she got for her wedding, and the thief washed the set, brought it back another day with a new meal inside of it! I was horrified. I don’t know why people would take someone else’s food. 

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One of my husband and roommate's coworkers in security overnight used to go into the offices and steal food out of fridges and desk drawers.  And he didn't even get fired, just reassigned so he doesn't leave the guard house anymore and always works days with other guys.  It's so annoying that he got away with it because their boss said "there is no proof that it's him".  Ass.

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I was craving tacos so that’s what I got from a restaurant. They were better than Taco Bell. 
 

I’m debating whether I should make cookies for a snack or bake brownies. 
 

Why is cable tv so expensive? I miss TV. 
 

Good news Sunday: I’m full of tacos and am not homeless. Yay. 

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7 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I was craving tacos so that’s what I got from a restaurant. They were better than Taco Bell. 
 

I’m debating whether I should make cookies for a snack or bake brownies. 
 

Why is cable tv so expensive? I miss TV. 
 

Good news Sunday: I’m full of tacos and am not homeless. Yay. 

NYC has so much amazing food! You’re lucky.

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8 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I was craving tacos so that’s what I got from a restaurant. They were better than Taco Bell. 
 

I’m debating whether I should make cookies for a snack or bake brownies. 
 

Why is cable tv so expensive? I miss TV. 
 

Good news Sunday: I’m full of tacos and am not homeless. Yay. 

Have you looked into streaming services? If you've got decent internet, it's a cheaper option. 

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26 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Have you looked into streaming services? If you've got decent internet, it's a cheaper option. 

I have Hulu, hbo and Netflix but no tv. I miss watching stuff on the bigger screen!

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(edited)
2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I have Hulu, hbo and Netflix but no tv. I miss watching stuff on the bigger screen!

I love my 70" TV. I would not be happy not having a big TV.  We stream discovery plus, prime video and Hulu to it. 

Edited by QuinnInND
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1 minute ago, iwantcookies said:

No. I don’t have TV. 

I'm thinking parts of it or all of it will be aired on YouTube eventually. If nothing else you can probably already read about it online. If what they said is true, and I have no reason to believe they lied, some horrible shit went down. It affected Meghan so much, that for a while she was afraid to be alone because she was scared she would harm herself.

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2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

What did they say??? 

It was a two hour interview. I think if you Google it you'll find the highlights explained better than I could. Some of the shit included clearing up some lies, taking away the families security, including Harry's, but the worst, besides Meghan's suicidal ideation is, there were discussions over how dark Meghan's and Harry's children would be.

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Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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