Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[madpsych78]

Fellow Aquarian here. Birthday is this Monday (the 1st). Turning 43. Hubby and I are checking out a new Italian restaurant tonight that recently opened in Dallas.

[GeeGolly]

1 minute ago, madpsych78 said:

Fellow Aquarian here. Birthday is this Monday (the 1st). Turning 43. Hubby and I are checking out a new Italian restaurant tonight that recently opened in Dallas.

Happy almost Birthday!

[Jenniferbug]

Happy birthday @ginger90, @GeeGolly, and @madpsych78!

[andromeda331]

Happy Birthday @ginger90, @GeeGolly, and @madpsych78!!!

[Jeeves]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Fellow Aquarian here. Birthday is this Monday (the 1st). Turning 43. Hubby and I are checking out a new Italian restaurant tonight that recently opened in Dallas.

Happy birthday!

[iwantcookies]

Good news Sunday! Share away! 

[emma675]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Fellow Aquarian here. Birthday is this Monday (the 1st). Turning 43. Hubby and I are checking out a new Italian restaurant tonight that recently opened in Dallas.

Which restaurant? I'm always on the hunt for good Italian food! I'm in DFW, too! And happy early birthday!!

[BetyBee]

Happy Birthday newly minted Sexagenarian @ginger90 and belated Happy Belated Birthday @GeeGolly!

We're extra glad we got our vaccines yesterday, because today has brought a ton of snow to Chicagoland. We're thankful to be cozy at home & as sexagenarians ourselves, we are happy that someone else is doing the plowing and shoveling! I'll try to take a walk in it later this afternoon. It's truly beautiful!

[QuinnInND]

The promised winter storm is here! It's snowing like crazy out there.  We've got a couple inches already and it's really coming down. We're warm and cozy and watching TV with the fireplace on and the pups snoozing. I've got a roast in the slow cooker for dinner tonight. Still digesting the events of the last week. I've got way more answers than I did last week at this time.  

 

Life is good. 

 

Happy birthday to all the birthday people! 🎂🎈🎁

[doodlebug]

On 1/29/2021 at 10:31 PM, QuinnInND said:

OMG!!!! I'VE GOT MY BIO DADS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!  So on the birth certificate my mom had that I took from home, had an address for my mom. Some quick research, and found out who the owner of the house was then, and he's the same owner now. He remembered my mom and me as an infant and my father!! At the time, he was a county constable, which explains the "peace officer" designation. My mom and the homeowners daughter were waitresses at a diner, which is where my mom and bio dad met. He said he would give his daughter a call and see if she wanted to talk to me. But I've got a name now!! YES!!!! And my husband is going to read the letters this weekend. 😊

Quinn, I'm confused; if the landlord remembers you, your mother and your father; your biologic father has to have known about you and he and your mother must've been together when you were born.  If that's the case, why wasn't his name on the birth certificate?  Did your mother know in advance that she'd be returning to her abusive estranged husband and therefore didn't put his name on it?  Also, in most states, if s woman is legally married, her legal husband MUST be named as the baby's father on the birth certificate.  The only way around that is for the husband, knowing he is not the father, to file a petition with the court, usually with paternity test results.  I can understand how your stepdad might've known that he wasn't your biodad, but how did your mom get around the rules?

Something just doesn't add up here.  Maybe I'm missing something.

Edited January 31, 2021 by doodlebug

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Quinn, I'm confused; if the landlord remembers you, your mother and your father; your biologic father has to have known about you and he and your mother must've been together when you were born.  If that's the case, why wasn't his name on the birth certificate?  Did your mother know in advance that she'd be returning to her abusive estranged husband and therefore didn't put his name on it?  Also, in most states, if s woman is legally married, her legal husband MUST be named as the baby's father on the birth certificate.  The only way around that is for the husband, knowing he is not the father, to file a petition with the court, usually with paternity test results.

Something just doesn't add up here.  Maybe I'm missing something.

For the record I know you weren’t asking me, but I was thinking that women can lie about being married/unmarried when filling out the information at the hospital registrar- I don’t think people checked.

Also I have heard of women not putting father’s names on birth certificates “until they see how things will go”(which I don’t get but women do that in 2021 much less 1982).

If Quinn’s bio dad was married (or otherwise committed to another woman) he may have not wanted his name on the BC. Maybe he refused to sign an acknowledgement of paternity. People knowing socially that “x and y hooked up” isn’t the same as x and y being “together”, especially with the situation around Quinn’s mom still being married. 

[QuinnInND]

8 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Quinn, I'm confused; if the landlord remembers you, your mother and your father; your biologic father has to have known about you and he and your mother must've been together when you were born.  If that's the case, why wasn't his name on the birth certificate?  Did your mother know in advance that she'd be returning to her abusive estranged husband and therefore didn't put his name on it?  Also, in most states, if s woman is legally married, her legal husband MUST be named as the baby's father on the birth certificate.  The only way around that is for the husband, knowing he is not the father, to file a petition with the court, usually with paternity test results.  I can understand how your stepdad might've known that he wasn't your biodad, but how did your mom get around the rules?

Something just doesn't add up here.  Maybe I'm missing something.

Only thing I can figure is she wouldn't give his name. They couldn't force her to. The landlord didn't know she was married to another man, as far as he remembers. 

I'm thinking that my mom and bio dad broke up before she was showing. Apparently I lived there with my mom and the landlords daughter when I was born. He said that my bio dad wasn't around when my mom was pregnant with me.  

My theory is my mom left my stepfather, moved to another town (which is evident by my birth certificate, as where I was born isn't where I grew up), got a job as a waitress, found lodging with the landlords daughter, met my bio dad, had a relationship with him, they broke up for whatever reason without him knowing she was pregnant with me, she had me, and thereafter went back to my stepfather for whatever reason. I'm confused too, but that's my theory. 

[doodlebug]

1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

For the record I know you weren’t asking me, but I was thinking that women can lie about being married/unmarried when filling out the information at the hospital registrar- I don’t think people checked.

Also I have heard of women not putting father’s names on birth certificates “until they see how things will go”(which I don’t get but women do that in 2021 much less 1982).

If Quinn’s bio dad was married (or otherwise committed to another woman) he may have not wanted his name on the BC. Maybe he refused to sign an acknowledgement of paternity. People knowing socially that “x and y hooked up” isn’t the same as x and y being “together”, especially with the situation around Quinn’s mom still being married. 

But, her mother did put identifying details like her biodad's occupation on the birth certificate.  Presumably, since her stepfather isn't on the certificate, she could've lied about being married.  I also get the reasons why her biologic father wouldn't have wanted to formally acknowledge paternity by signing the certificate, but, when that happens, no other identifying information about him would be included either.  The state leaves the rest blank if the biological father is listed as unknown.  Unknown is unknown.  Quinn's mother wouldn't have been able to pick and choose other details to share if she wasn't naming the father.

it also doesn't explain how Quinn's mother's landlord knew about her and knew her father, too.  She said her mother was only separated from her stepfather for less than a year and a half.  That's a pretty tiny window for a pregnancy and a baby to be born.  If her father knew about her, even if he wasn't willing to legally claim her, it is strange that he never reached out at some point.

[doodlebug]

4 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Only thing I can figure is she wouldn't give his name. They couldn't force her to. The landlord didn't know she was married to another man, as far as he remembers. 

I'm thinking that my mom and bio dad broke up before she was showing. Apparently I lived there with my mom and the landlords daughter when I was born. He said that my bio dad wasn't around when my mom was pregnant with me.  

My theory is my mom left my stepfather, moved to another town (which is evident by my birth certificate, as where I was born isn't where I grew up), got a job as a waitress, found lodging with the landlords daughter, met my bio dad, had a relationship with him, they broke up for whatever reason without him knowing she was pregnant with me, she had me, and thereafter went back to my stepfather for whatever reason. I'm confused too, but that's my theory. 

I get that your mom could list your father as unknown, but, then, she wouldn't have been able to include demographic information about his occupation. The state has a vested interest in getting the father's name on that certificate, so, the only way to refuse is to claim he is unknown.  Otherwise, if she received any state assistance, they'd be running him down looking for support payments.  Your mother could not just refuse to name him but fill in the rest of the blanks.  It doesn't work like that.  Based on what you've told us, you're around 38.  I was delivering babies and signing birth certificates back then, I know how it goes.

 Even if they broke up before she realized she was pregnant, she didn't return to your stepfather until well after you were born.  So, she never told your biological father, but continued to live and work in the very same place and then had a baby while still there and he never, ever found out?  I'm sure it could happen, but it's a pretty amazing set of circumstances.

Edited January 31, 2021 by doodlebug

[Scarlett45]

14 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

If her father knew about her, even if he wasn't willing to legally claim her, it is strange that he never reached out at some point.

That part isn’t strange to me. 
 

The rest I 100% get what you’re saying. I have no clue, I’m just spitballing out here. Yeah the 1980s werent the 1920s/30s as far as records went. 

[Oldernowiser]

I have nothing to offer regarding the genealogy topic, but it does bring up a question I am hoping for some feedback on. After my mother died late last summer, my sister and BIL moved all her stuff out of her AL apartment and sent me some of it, mostly artwork I had done that she had hanging in her rooms. 

Along with it, they sent three of her diaries from when she was in her late teens, early twenties. I‘m not even sure how they ended up with her in AL, because I’m the one who handled most of their move out of their house of forty years and I know I didn’t see the diaries then. And I packed up literally TONS of stuff.

I don’t know what to do with them. I know my sister sent them to me because she didn’t want them and I know none of her kids would be interested. I don’t feel right about even reading them, so I haven’t...I wouldn’t read someone’s diary if they were alive and it feels like she should still have a right to her privacy even in death.

Thoughts? We had a...quirky...family and I’m not a history buff in any way. If anything, I try not to think much about that part of my life.

[Absolom]

I had some of that going through my parents' house.  I kind of skimmed a notebook my mother had kept as the dementia began.  It felt voyeuristic to me so I shredded it.  I think it depends on the people involved.  

[QuinnInND]

29 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I get that your mom could list your father as unknown, but, then, she wouldn't have been able to include demographic information about his occupation. The state has a vested interest in getting the father's name on that certificate, so, the only way to refuse is to claim he is unknown.  Otherwise, if she received any state assistance, they'd be running him down looking for support payments.  Your mother could not just refuse to name him but fill in the rest of the blanks.  It doesn't work like that.  Based on what you've told us, you're around 38.  I was delivering babies and signing birth certificates back then, I know how it goes.

 Even if they broke up before she realized she was pregnant, she didn't return to your stepfather until well after you were born.  So, she never told your biological father, but continued to live and work in the very same place and then had a baby while still there and he never, ever found out?  I'm sure it could happen, but it's a pretty amazing set of circumstances.

I'm just as confused. There may have been more time between her leaving my stepfather and going back. I'm not positive of how much time there was.  And the official certified birth certificate I got before I got married is different than the one I took when I left home.  A completely different form. The certified one has the basic info only, because that's what the state birth certificates have. No Dr name, no hospital name, no length and weight of baby, nothing. The other one has more info for some reason.  It's so odd. It's got a raised seal on it, so appears to be an official document, but Idk. That's the one that lists the address and my father's occupation. 

And for what it's worth, my mom barely showed when she was pregnant with my sister. She barely looked pregnant about a month before she was born. And if you didn't know her, you'd just think she was a little bloated. If she was like that with me, then that could be a factor too. She didn't look pregnant. 

Edited January 31, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Scarlett45]

10 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I don’t know what to do with them. I know my sister sent them to me because she didn’t want them and I know none of her kids would be interested. I don’t feel right about even reading them, so I haven’t...I wouldn’t read someone’s diary if they were alive and it feels like she should still have a right to her privacy even in death.

Thoughts? We had a...quirky...family and I’m not a history buff in any way. If anything, I try not to think much about that part of my life.

If she wouldn’t want you to read them then don’t read them. 
 

Maybe save them and donate them to a historical society. They love to get things that “regular people used”- they could digitize them and use them for some sort of exhibit 50yrs from now. 

[ozziemom]

My sister and I found papers (we were moving her to assisted living) my mom had written about her life for a class she took when she was pursuing a masters degree. I was already in my 50’s with kids of my own but it was still very hurtful to read that she was so miserable when she was a SAHM.  Along with personal details about her and my dad, who had just passed away. I was sad to have read the papers and we never discussed with her but it was clear she never meant for us to see. So I would avoid reading a diary. 

[emma675]

If I kept a diary and put private details in it, I think I would want it shredded or destroyed after my death, not donated anywhere. Especially if my family didn't read it ahead of time to make sure there wasn't anything extremely private or embarrassing in it that no one would want made public.

[doodlebug]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

If she wouldn’t want you to read them then don’t read them. 
 

Maybe save them and donate them to a historical society. They love to get things that “regular people used”- they could digitize them and use them for some sort of exhibit 50yrs from now. 

I agree, if it feels too personal, don't read them yourself; but, if you feel your mom might've included her perspective on current events or just given details of her day to day life; there are historical societies in most towns that would love to have some of that information.  If they decided to put any of it online or otherwise publicly display it; they would delete anything that might be too personal or hurtful.

[Oldernowiser]

I appreciate all of your input here...it’s helping me think things through. I just remembered an incident, maybe 20 years ago after my maternal grandmother died, when my mom, for reasons that escape me, decided to make copies of every letter she ever sent to her mom and give them to me and my sister. The first first one I pulled out was describing how awful I had been behaving (I was 14 at the time, people, it kinda goes with the territory), but that I was much behaving much better just recently and my grandmother wouldn’t recognize me. It sounded very much like she was cringing around about her awful daughter...me. I remember nothing I ever did that would have required this kind of groveling. You would have thought I was knocked up with out of wedlock twins and selling meth.

In short? That hurt. I have no interest in getting hurt again and I don’t know the exact timelines of these diaries...and I don’t want to know. Into the shredder they go.

My thanks to you all...

[GeeGolly]

I'm very confused about the birth certificates as well. We have a choice of obtaining a long form and a short form. The short form is typed up in the clerks office with name, DOB and parents' names and then notarized. The long form is printed on a standard form with colored paper and has the above information and more detailed info on the parents.

I live in New England and most states have maybe one or two, maybe three, major cities and the rest are suburbs. The suburbs don't have hospitals. Also, its not unusual at all for someone who lives in MA or RI to be born in CT, or someone in NH to be born in MA.

If you have a short form, one would only know the city/state they were born in, not where the family lived. The long form would have all the info, or blank sections.

 

[Suzn]

5 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Fellow Aquarian here. Birthday is this Monday (the 1st). Turning 43. Hubby and I are checking out a new Italian restaurant tonight that recently opened in Dallas.

Happy Birthday!  🎂

[Scarlett45]

I really wanted to say “mush”

[doodlebug]

9 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I really wanted to say “mush”

He's big enough to pull a sled.  He looks like he's enjoying the weather, even if you aren't.  Of course, he's got that thick fur coat and you don't.

[Oldernowiser]

Ha, Scarlett45...watching you become a dog person just makes me so happy for both of you. The reason he needs you really suck, but he is an incredibly lucky boy to have ended up with you. 
 

Sometimes beauty shows up in the most unexpected places.

[dargosmydaddy]

Re: the relative's diary

Another option might be to have a disinterested third party (i.e. a friend who didn't know your family) read it over to see if there's anything overly personal/ potentially awful/ worthy of historical significance in the diary. Of course that's totally up to you, it just makes me sad to think of something getting shredded that a historian (or even a future generation of your own family) might enjoy reading. Of course if it's just bad-mouthing other family members, maybe not so much...

I have a copy of a twenty-page document one of my grandmothers wrote about her childhood. It's not a diary, just something she typed up after the fact (she wrote it for the daughter of a friend of hers... the friend had died relatively young, and my grandmother wrote all about her childhood experiences with this friend, so the daughter could read it), but I treasure it, and it gives a great picture of everyday life in the 30s and 40s.

I also have a brief travel diary from one of my great-grandmothers, and that is the most boring thing ever... a continual record of temperatures and the price of tomatoes and other roadside produce...

[doodlebug]

2 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

Re: the relative's diary

Another option might be to have a disinterested third party (i.e. a friend who didn't know your family) read it over to see if there's anything overly personal/ potentially awful/ worthy of historical significance in the diary. Of course that's totally up to you, it just makes me sad to think of something getting shredded that a historian (or even a future generation of your own family) might enjoy reading. Of course if it's just bad-mouthing other family members, maybe not so much...

I have a copy of a twenty-page document one of my grandmothers wrote about her childhood. It's not a diary, just something she typed up after the fact (she wrote it for the daughter of a friend of hers... the friend had died relatively young, and my grandmother wrote all about her childhood experiences with this friend, so the daughter could read it), but I treasure it, and it gives a great picture of everyday life in the 30s and 40s.

I also have a brief travel diary from one of my great-grandmothers, and that is the most boring thing ever... a continual record of temperatures and the price of tomatoes and other roadside produce...

One of my aunts used a tape recorder to tell the family history that she knew including names of people and places as well as some stories about different family members, both funny and not.  Nothing too mean spirited or gossipy. She did it specifically to give to my generation of kids so we would know something about her life as well as about our family.  It is about 45 minutes long and I treasure it.

[Scarlett45]

23 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

He's big enough to pull a sled.  He looks like he's enjoying the weather, even if you aren't.  Of course, he's got that thick fur coat and you don't.

 

20 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Ha, Scarlett45...watching you become a dog person just makes me so happy for both of you. The reason he needs you really suck, but he is an incredibly lucky boy to have ended up with you. 
 

Sometimes beauty shows up in the most unexpected places.

The good thing about the snow is that when it’s snowing like this it’s not so terribly cold in my gear. If it’s above 25degrees I’m good for about a 30min walk, if it’s less than 20 degrees he is going about for a bathroom break and coming right back. So we walked this afternoon and then I let him frolic in the backyard for as long as he wanted (which was like 10min and then he wanted to go inside). 
 

I have always liked dogs (I like all animals, horses too), but we’ve always been a cat family. I made a nice bit of pocket money pet sitting in law school. 
 

I love Cosmo, and I’m really sorry that he has to be here but I am glad I could take him in. 
 

I have to say, this “old dog” thing is nice. He’s house broken, not so jumpy, just wants to hang out etc. why don’t people ever want to adopt older dogs?? I think he’s great (he’s 8), my god mother adopted him at less than a year, and I remember how active he used to be. I prefer him now. But then again I am used to cats. 

[Jeanne222]

A few years ago when I had a computer with the program to type letters.  I forget the name right now...word perfect maybe.  I started thinking about my life and different events.  Kind of like chapters.

We moved and they're filed away somewhere.

Recently my oldest granddaughter and I were discussing things that happened long ago to me.  She mentioned how much it would mean to her to learn about my life.

She's kind of made me think about finding a way to start writing again.

I think knowing about someone's life is priceless.

My life was surely no picnic and reading along others had it way worse.

With that said my earlier life was hard and interesting.  My later life peaceful and calm!  The ying and the yang!

[CalicoKitty]

I don't know about Quinn's situation, but in CA, there MUST be a name on the birth certificate for the MOTHER.  The father's space can be blank.  If two guys are the parents, one of them MUST be listed as the mother.  Usually there are papers from their attorney stating which one will be listed as MOTHER, and papers signing away parental rights from the surrogate.  The space for naming the father can be left blank.  As nurses, we would encourage a young mom to put the baby's father on the form so she could get some child support.  I have seen a boyfriend signing that he was the father when he knew he wasn't.  The situations can get interesting.  But by law there does not need to be a father listed on the birth certificate.  It can be left blank.

[Jenniferbug]

I've been doing a bit of journaling lately. Mostly to clear my head, but also with the idea that maybe someday someone might want to hear about what life was like during the pandemic and all that's happening right now. I should have started last year, but couldn't find the motivation to put pen to paper till recently. I don't much care what happens to it, but would still probably censor myself from complaining much about my kids in case they read it. Luckily there's nothing to complain about with them right now, but they're not to the rebellious ages yet. 

[rue721]

I think diaries are different from memoirs... if @Oldernowiser’s mother wrote these journals with the idea that someone else would ever read them in the future, then I think holding them for a younger generation of the family is wonderful idea, but if they’re personal diaries never meant to be shared with anyone and written because she just needed an outlet for her feelings, then it’s kindest to burn them. My diaries would be of zero historical value because they’re just a mishmash of random thoughts and feelings, and I would be mortified if anyone read them (or tried to, they’re pretty nonsensical)... but it’s very likely that there was something in @Oldernowiser’s mother’s diaries from this particular period that she wanted to save, because she apparently was very careful to preserve them her whole life. I don’t know, I think you just have to make a guess as to what her intentions were, @Oldernowiser?

Good news Sunday: I just got back from a vacation with my boyfriend. It was the first time we’ve gone away together, just us (well, just us and my dog!). We rented a cabin at a state park 5+ hours away, out in the mountains, so it was a covid-safe getaway. The cabin had a fireplace, and my boyfriend had a lot of fun trying to build the perfect fire — while I sat with him, reading or crocheting or just chatting and hanging out. Also, I was worried that my dog would be anxious, but it turns out that she LOVES hiking and being out in the wilderness. She got so frustrated with us when she was ready to just keep running up the steepest, snowiest trail in the park, and we were basically begging her to slow down and then made her turn back 😆 Anyhow, it was all very cozy and romantic 😊

We also just got a big snowstorm here (well, big for the DC area), so it’s another cozy day for me... crocheting now and going to cook ramen in the instant pot later. I should be studying or at least cleaning, but it’s technically the last day of my vacation, and I don’t intend to start “working” any sooner than necessary 😆

@QuinnInND and @ChiCricket, family revelations like these must be so difficult and emotional to deal with! Hopefully, in the end your families will be bigger and everyone will feel more at peace.

@lookeyloo I’m glad that you have a BFF who will always be there for you. It’s beautiful to hear about all the warmth and love that’s in your life. I’m sure it was a comfort to Sweet Son to know he was leaving behind so many people who are so good at loving and caring for one another. 

[rue721]

@Scarlett45, I love seeing Cosmo’s happy face! Here’s a pic of Portia enjoying the snow 😊 As you can see, she takes hiking very seriously.

 

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, rue721 said:

@Scarlett45, I love seeing Cosmo’s happy face! Here’s a pic of Portia enjoying the snow 😊 As you can see, she takes hiking very seriously.

 

I love Portia’s coat!

[rue721]

@Scarlett45

Thank you! 😊

She gets a lot of compliments on it — actually, she gets a lot of compliments in general. Men will literally slow down and yell out their car windows, “you have a beautiful dog!” 😂 I’m like, wow, I have gotten so old that the catcalls have become dog-calls 😂 

[ChiCricket]

Happy Birthday to @ginger90

Happy Belated Birthday to @GeeGolly 

Happy Birthday tomorrow to @madpsych78

[DangerousMinds]

3 hours ago, doodlebug said:

But, her mother did put identifying details like her biodad's occupation on the birth certificate.  Presumably, since her stepfather isn't on the certificate, she could've lied about being married.  I also get the reasons why her biologic father wouldn't have wanted to formally acknowledge paternity by signing the certificate, but, when that happens, no other identifying information about him would be included either.  The state leaves the rest blank if the biological father is listed as unknown.  Unknown is unknown.  Quinn's mother wouldn't have been able to pick and choose other details to share if she wasn't naming the father.

it also doesn't explain how Quinn's mother's landlord knew about her and knew her father, too.  She said her mother was only separated from her stepfather for less than a year and a half.  That's a pretty tiny window for a pregnancy and a baby to be born.  If her father knew about her, even if he wasn't willing to legally claim her, it is strange that he never reached out at some point.

That was my question too. I can’t figure out why his occupation was listed but no name. Unknown is unknown.

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

That part isn’t strange to me. 
 

The rest I 100% get what you’re saying. I have no clue, I’m just spitballing out here. Yeah the 1980s werent the 1920s/30s as far as records went. 

My bio mother has never reached out to me, and she definitely knows my name and address.  Who knows why?  I’m not particularly bothered by it.

Edited January 31, 2021 by DangerousMinds

[ChiCricket]

The view from my living room window (and it's still snowing.)

I'm enjoying it,  because we don't have to go anywhere in it!😁

(I'm surprised my bushes can hold all that snow)

Edited January 31, 2021 by ChiCricket

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

The view from my living room window (and it's still snowing.)

I'm enjoying it,  because we don't have to go anywhere in it!😁

(I'm surprised my bushes can hold all that snow)

Yeah knowing I’m WFH tomorrow makes this all the more enjoyable. Letting Cosmo out is no biggie compared to tracking to the train etc. 

[QuinnInND]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I really wanted to say “mush”

Happy doggo. My doxies hate the snow. We have to pick them up and place them in the yard. Lol. They hate it. 

[Oldernowiser]

@rue721, how’s Portia doing with her nervousness?

[rue721]

9 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

@rue721, how’s Portia doing with her nervousness?

I took her to the vet last week, and thankfully the vet took Portia’s anxiety very seriously and gave me some pills to give her. The only thing was, when I gave her a pill, it COMPLETELY knocked her out. She was super drowsy, she was walking around like a zombie. It was scary, so next time I only gave her half a pill. She was still a totally zoned out zombie. So I decided to lay off the pills and see what a little more time and attention would do. Also, some people at the dog park said that their dogs took about 2 months to get over scares, so I thought maybe I was just trying to rush her.
 

Well, she definitely enjoyed having me home for the weekend (before vacation), and then was fantastic on the long car ride out to the state park (but she’s always wonderful in the car, I think she enjoys it), and then once we got to the park she was super excited and loving it! She was a million times more relaxed and comfortable out in the country than I’d hoped — and way more so than here in the city, for sure. She was also great in the car ride back, and she’s just been sleeping all day today (tired from all the hiking and fun times, I guess!). I was worried she’d be sad to leave the state park and come back to our high rise, but she seems to be luxuriating and happy to be home anyhow. 
 

So I’m still trying to go gentle on her, but she seems much better now that she’s had some time and TLC. I still wish I knew what scared her in the first place, though!

Thank you for asking 😊

Edited January 31, 2021 by rue721

[crazycatlady58]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yeah knowing I’m WFH tomorrow makes this all the more enjoyable. Letting Cosmo out is no biggie compared to tracking to the train etc. 

If Houston received that much snow we would go into shock and a lot of people would see it as a sign Christ's second coming ( just kidding, sort of),

[Oldernowiser]

I’m so glad to hear she’s feeling better, @rue721. If you don’t mind my asking, which drug did he prescribe for her? Some of them really will knock the daylights out of some dogs, particularly sight hounds and some of the herders. I’ve tried every drug there is on my wiggy Border Collie rescue and honestly, Benadryl works as well as anything because he just goes to sleep. But that’s not something I’d be comfortable giving him every day. 

I’m thinking your girl had her reasons. There are some critters out there that they smell/sense that we have no clue about. Shortly after we moved up here I looked out the window one fine morning and there was a very very large cougar trotting up the road twenty feet from the house. And it’s not like we live in the wilds.

Here’s hoping she stays happy!

Edited January 31, 2021 by Oldernowiser

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

If Houston received that much snow we would go into shock and a lot of people would see it as a sign Christ's second coming ( just kidding, sort of),

I’m in Chicago- so we are used to it. Dont let my Mom get started about the snow of ‘67. 😜

[Zella]

9 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

If Houston received that much snow we would go into shock and a lot of people would see it as a sign Christ's second coming ( just kidding, sort of),

Not that Arkansas is noted for its winter weather coping abilities either, but we had running jokes at the U of A about all the kids from Dallas who would freak out when we got anything. 🤣

[rue721]

@Oldernowiser 
The vet gave me Trazodone. The dosage was 1-2 pills every 8 hours, but even the one pill seemed to do a number on Portia! I just couldn’t give it to her in good conscious, although I do really trust the vet in general.