Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[doodlebug]

9 minutes ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

my favorite is when they come to my door. I have a “no soliciting” sign, so I will point to it and say, “can you read” when they say yes but..... I just say “that includes Jesus”.

They away with the face of horror and I laugh every time 😂

A few years back, when I had my knee replaced and was home for a couple months, I was stunned by how many people go out into suburbia and randomly knock on doors.  I live in a suburb that requires a permit to go door to door, but most of these folks just ignore that rule.  I found myself having people banging on the door multiple times every day which set my dogs into a barking frenzy and made me have to get up off the bed or chair and hobble to the door to send them away.  I had kids selling magazines, siding and roofing vendors, and multiple pushy religious types.  I found it helped shorten their visit to ask to see their permit to solicit, which none of them had.  But, in the end, the only way to keep them off the porch was to go down to Lowe's and buy a 'No soliciting' sign for 3 bucks and hang it over the bell.  Money well spent.

[doodlebug]

ignore.  Turns out census records aren't made public until 72 years have passed, so the PI couldn't use them to find Quinn.

With Quinn's name and DOB, he could have done a search using one of the many people finder search engines though.  He probably figured that, at 15 and broke, she couldn't have gone far and probably limited the search area initially.  There are a lot of searchable public records including driver's license and registration where he could've gotten a clue.  I seem to recall that Quinn had a rough time of it after leaving home, if she was ever arrested; he could've found that.  Often, one record leads to another and, eventually, like climbing a ladder, he could've come to the present day.

The fact that Quinn's first name is fairly unique would also help.   If he presumed that, at 15, she wasn't going to be able to get documentation under another name or use another birth date; he could've started there and figured it out.

https://diligentiagroup.com/legal-investigation/10-places-private-investigators-go-to-find-information/

Edited January 29, 2021 by doodlebug

[NotthebadVictoria]

4 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

A few years back, when I had my knee replaced and was home for a couple months, I was stunned by how many people go out into suburbia and randomly knock on doors.  I live in a suburb that requires a permit to go door to door, but most of these folks just ignore that rule.  I found myself having people banging on the door multiple times every day which set my dogs into a barking frenzy and made me have to get up off the bed or chair and hobble to the door to send them away.  I had kids selling magazines, siding and roofing vendors, and multiple pushy religious types.  I found it helped shorten their visit to ask to see their permit to solicit, which none of them had.  But, in the end, the only way to keep them off the porch was to go down to Lowe's and buy a 'No soliciting' sign for 3 bucks and hang it over the bell.  Money well spent.

In my neighborhood the sign has been an invitation to be creative. It took a few years but now we are known as the curmudgeons on the block so everyone leaves is alone 😂. 

[Absolom]

I have both no soliciting signs and no proselytizing signs.

I would still get people who say but I just want to talk to you about Jesus pre-pandemic. I twould tell them to go get a dictionary and look up proselytizing.

If they still wanted to stand and jaw at me, I keep a bottle of water near the door and tell them I wanted to bless them with holy water.  So far that one hasn't failed. 

The pandemic has cut back on the door knockers thank goodness.

Edited January 29, 2021 by Absolom

[Scarlett45]

42 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

ignore.  Turns out census records aren't made public until 72 years have passed, so the PI couldn't use them to find Quinn.

I was about to say this. They made that rule because it was the average life span of white men at the time (you know, the only group that matters😏- I’m JOKING FYI), and dead people have no legal right to privacy. 

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I have both no soliciting signs and no proselytizing signs.

I would still get people who say but I just want to talk to you about Jesus pre-pandemic. I twould ell them to go get a dictionary and look up proselytizing.

If they still wanted to stand and jaw at me, I keep a bottle of water near the door and tell them I wanted to bless them with holy water.  So far that one hasn't failed. 

The pandemic has cut back on the door knockers thank goodness.

In a little bit I have a dentist appointment- my dentist is in a nearby mall, where I am ALWAYS proselytized to in this mall. There’s a Kohl’s which does Amazon returns and that’s usually how it happens. Just trying to take something back and the preaching starts. 
 

Growing up in the city of Chicago (actual Chicago not a suburb), random people showing up to the front door is not a thing that happens here. When I was little, before the age of cell phones for everyone, my Great-Aunt never opened the door if it wasn’t a UPS/FedEx delivery truck or she wasn’t expecting someone. Bell or no bell. 
 

Everyone we knew that was coming by for a social visit had a pre-determined time to arrive or had a key (like my great aunt who was our nanny). So no way would I open the door to a stranger. Now everyone has cell phones and anyone who would need to visit my home has my cell number. 

It drives me crazy that my neighbor who mows my lawn will just show up and knock on my back door, but I can see him on the camera and I can see him through the glass window before I open the door. 

[doodlebug]

 

39 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I was about to say this. They made that rule because it was the average life span of white men at the time (you know, the only group that matters😏- I’m JOKING FYI), and dead people have no legal right to privacy. 

As soon as I posted, I thought, 'wait a minute, that can't be right'.  Too many people out there would use the info in nefarious ways if they were able to get the most recent data.  Old census info is a great way to find out more about your ancestors, though.

Edited January 29, 2021 by doodlebug

[emma675]

I have a no soliciting sign on my door and it's helped some, but I still get door knockers and people shoving stuff under the door handle and through the mail slot. We used to have regular roving bands of Jehovah's Witnesses but Covid has slowed them down and now they are sending handwritten letters in the mail. I don't open the door to anyone unless I'm expecting them or I can see that it's a delivery person. Luckily, my dog Boo sounds terrifying behind the door (she loses her mind over anyone coming on the porch, which is fun during conference calls), even though she's a big wuss in reality. 

Good lord, has this been the longest week ever? I'm exhausted mentally and physically and ate a Cadbury Egg for breakfast to celebrate making it to Friday.

[Scarlett45]

Just now, emma675 said:

I have a no soliciting sign on my door and it's helped some, but I still get door knockers and people shoving stuff under the door handle and through the mail slot. We used to have regular roving bands of Jehovah's Witnesses but Covid has slowed them down and now they are sending handwritten letters in the mail. I don't open the door to anyone unless I'm expecting them or I can see that it's a delivery person. Luckily, my dog Boo sounds terrifying behind the door (she loses her mind over anyone coming on the porch, which is fun during conference calls), even though she's a big wuss in reality. 

Good lord, has this been the longest week ever? I'm exhausted mentally and physically and ate a Cadbury Egg for breakfast to celebrate making it to Friday.

Yay for chocolate. 
 

This pandemic is getting to me. Last night I had a dream I was at a dinner party with my co-workers.......😔 I miss parties so much. 

[Ohiopirate02]

8 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

 

As soon as I posted, I thought, 'wait a minute, that can't be right'.  Too many people out there would use the info in nefarious ways if they were able to get the most recent data.  Old census info is a great way to find out more about your ancestors, though.

I have found through census data that I come from a long line of jokesters or my family was always visited by the most inept census takers.  My great-grandparents ages change every 10 years when looking at the data, and I am not talking about the passage of time.  My great-grandparents immigrated to America as a married couple in 1906.  He was 25 and she was 19.  They somehow missed the 1910 census or that record is so garbled that I cannot find it.  In 1920, he is 38 she is 31.  In 1930, he is 45 and she is 37.  Then in 1940, he is 59 and she is 57.  

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

ignore.  Turns out census records aren't made public until 72 years have passed, so the PI couldn't use them to find Quinn.

With Quinn's name and DOB, he could have done a search using one of the many people finder search engines though.  He probably figured that, at 15 and broke, she couldn't have gone far and probably limited the search area initially.  There are a lot of searchable public records including driver's license and registration where he could've gotten a clue.  I seem to recall that Quinn had a rough time of it after leaving home, if she was ever arrested; he could've found that.  Often, one record leads to another and, eventually, like climbing a ladder, he could've come to the present day.

The fact that Quinn's first name is fairly unique would also help.   If he presumed that, at 15, she wasn't going to be able to get documentation under another name or use another birth date; he could've started there and figured it out.

https://diligentiagroup.com/legal-investigation/10-places-private-investigators-go-to-find-information/

I basically disappeared when I left home. I went from Missouri and made my way to Vegas, where I became a high class escort and porn star. I had no social security number, and my pimp gave me a new name, which I used til I left the life at 20. There was no paper trail to me from the time I left home til I got married. The next time I used my given name was when I got married. It had to be the marriage records.  Because I went from Quinn *maiden name* and disappeared for 5 years and re-emerged as Quinn *married name* with nothing in between. Except my marriage. I got no ID of any kind under my maiden name. Everything I have is in my married name. 

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I basically disappeared when I left home. I went from Missouri and made my way to Vegas, where I became a high class escort and porn star. I had no social security number, and my pimp gave me a new name, which I used til I left the life at 20. There was no paper trail to me from the time I left home til I got married. The next time I used my given name was when I got married. It had to be the marriage records.  Because I went from Quinn *maiden name* and disappeared for 5 years and re-emerged as Quinn *married name* with nothing in between. Except my marriage. I got no ID of any kind under my maiden name. Everything I have is in my married name. 

Just wondering- of course you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to, I’m not trying to bring up bad memories.
 

 How did you move through life in the early 2000s with no ID?(board a plane, buy anything with plastic, have a bank account etc)- or did you have these things under your assumed name?

My sister’s disability ID expired on her bday in 2020- she was being a bit of a brat and wouldn’t get dressed to go to the dmv the two days I took off from work to take her. Then Covid hit- I know she has to have her ID redone eventually but I’m picking my battles. After the 8 months I spent proving to the state of IL she existed I’m not going through that again. And she doesn’t move through the world as an adult!!!

Omg my dentist is GONE!!!

 

What happened??? I didn’t get a call or anything. This day is super weird. 

[GeeGolly]

Of my many nieces and nephews, 2 are adopted and 3 came into our family through marriage.

TJ was adopted at 6 months from Asia, JJ domestic adoption, at birth, JC through marriage and TM & GM through marriage.

TJ never looked for his family.

JJ looked for his bio mom, after his mom died. While looking he found out his bio mom arranged a private adoption that fell through hours before he was born. His mom got a call from a judge who knew she was looking to adopt - she got JJ the day after he was born. The way JJ sees it, he was rejected x4 - bio mom, potential mom and his mom's death, then bio mom again. He found his bio mom and she said, "no thanks".

JC is in her 40s and still does not know who her dad is. Her mom says she doesn't know, however her mom was a teenager when she had her and JC thinks she must have an idea. Mom will not discuss it with her. JC goes back and forth about pursuing it further.

TM & GM both found out info about their dads from their mom and internet snooping. TM met her dad shortly before he died and enjoys her new found half siblings and extended family very much. GM's dad is in jail for life and GM maintains a SM relationship with his half siblings. Weirdly, GM's half sister has the same name as him, only the feminine version.

I share because this is just a small sample of the endless possibilities of looking for and/or reconnecting with bio parents. You just really don't know what you'll find or how it might turn out.

Edited January 29, 2021 by GeeGolly

[Scarlett45]

SO- after the shock of getting to the dentist and them being gone, I google to see if they moved. I see a similarly named dental practice up the street and call to inquire. The woman is very nice but I’m not a patient of theirs. 
 

I then call the dental office number in my contacts and I am told they closed due to COVID hardship and they have an email address if I want records. 
 

I mass email to the patients would’ve been nice to say they were closing. Now I have to find a new dentist. I have some days off in Feb so I will likely go then. 

[Absolom]

36 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Omg my dentist is GONE!!!

That is strange.  Something major must have happened

Is it possible to renew your sister' ID online?  Due to COVID, I could do my license online even though it was a year I was supposed to go in.  

Thanks for the reminder to check when my mother's state ID expires.

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

SO- after the shock of getting to the dentist and them being gone, I google to see if they moved. I see a similarly named dental practice up the street and call to inquire. The woman is very nice but I’m not a patient of theirs. 

Are they taking new patients?  Maybe it could be that easy.

[Zella]

We had a dentist here who just disappeared overnight. Not like murdered disappeared but just abandoned his business and his patients. Even his own staff had no idea until they just suddenly didn't have a job. I kept waiting for dirt on why he left. Maybe he moved to Chicago! 

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have found through census data that I come from a long line of jokesters or my family was always visited by the most inept census takers.  My great-grandparents ages change every 10 years when looking at the data, and I am not talking about the passage of time.  My great-grandparents immigrated to America as a married couple in 1906.  He was 25 and she was 19.  They somehow missed the 1910 census or that record is so garbled that I cannot find it.  In 1920, he is 38 she is 31.  In 1930, he is 45 and she is 37.  Then in 1940, he is 59 and she is 57.  

I think a lot of the census takers were inept--and a lot of the transcriptions of them on Ancestry are poor quality. I'm pretty sure that there were language barriers for my ancestors who were German, but I've also had the hillbilly side of the family apparently stump them too. At one point, they mangled the name Annie. I guess those Appalachian accents were too much for whichever poor bastard was trying to take down the information. 

[Scarlett45]

18 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Are they taking new patients?  Maybe it could be that easy.

I will look at see if they are in my network this weekend- if so I will likely make an appointment for them when I’m off next month. With Covid I wouldn’t expect them to see me at a moments notice. But here’s hoping!

 

19 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Is it possible to renew your sister' ID online?  Due to COVID, I could do my license online even though it was a year I was supposed to go in.  

No it’s not.😔 I looked into that when she was being a you-know-what last winter and wouldn’t put her shoes on in time to get to the dmv before they closed; but I had missed the month deadline, AND in IL disability IDs are good for 10yrs, so it has all her old information it (like our childhood home address which isn’t valid any more). I 100% understand WHY they actually want her to be brought in once a decade but it’s a thorn in my side.
 

Maybe sometime when the pandemic is over and mask requirements end I can get her to the dmv. She won’t wear a mask and I know she’s excepted because of her disability but I really don’t need to deal with her, some rude person making comments about it while trying to get her ID and/or her trying to take my mask off because she doesn’t like it. 
 

I can only take so much. The ID will have to wait. 

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

 How did you move through life in the early 2000s with no ID?(board a plane, buy anything with plastic, have a bank account etc)- or did you have these things under your assumed name?

My pimp took care of all of that with regards to credit cards and money. If I needed or wanted something, he got it for me or had it charged to him. He was very rich and well known, so there was no problem. Money talks. He had tons of money. He had an American Express black card. No limit, and no worries about ID. I never flew commercial til I got married. The customers we had had private planes or charter jets, and they didn't check ID. He had some form of ID for me, because he took me to Cabo a couple of times, and we had no trouble at the border. He showed IDs, and we were sent on out way. We girls weren't allowed a bank account or cash or funds of our own. My pimp didn't allow it. Although I had some of my regular customers that would give me cash as a "tip",which I hid.  It was my "if I ever get the fuck out of here" fund.  I used it to buy myself a new kit when I left the life. I had nothing except the suitcase and clothes I came with (and my teddy bear that my sister gave me) , and what I was wearing. Nothing else. I had to start over. So I used that money. I had about $4500.00 in cash carefully hidden in the lining of my suitcase. My pimp periodically have our rooms searched for anyMy pimp took care of all of that with regards to credit cards and money. If I needed or wanted something, he got it for me or had it charged to him. He was very rich and well known, so there was no problem. Money talks. He had tons of money. He had an American Express black card. No limit, and no worries about ID. I never flew commercial til I got married. The customers we had had private planes or charter jets, and they didn't check ID. He had some form of ID for me, because he took me to Cabo a couple of times, and we had no trouble at the border. He showed IDs, and we were sent on out way. We girls weren't allowed a bank account or cash or funds of our own. My pimp didn't allow it. Although I had some of my regular customers that would give me cash as a "tip",which I hid.  It was my "if I ever get the fuck out of here" fund.  I used it to buy myself a new kit when I left the life. I had nothing except the suitcase and clothes I came with (and my teddy bear that my sister gave me) , and what I was wearing. Nothing else. I had to start over. So I used that money. I had about $4500.00 in cash carefully hidden in the lining of my suitcase. My pimp periodically have our rooms searched for anything we shouldn't have had. thing we shouldn't have had. 

 

@Scarlett45sorry about the way the response posted. The site is glitchy

Edited January 29, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Absolom]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I can only take so much. The ID will have to wait. 

I know the feeling.  It isn't like she desperately needs it right now either.  Good luck.  My mother is the same with masks although for different reasons.

[Suzn]

14 minutes ago, Zella said:

We had a dentist here who just disappeared overnight. Not like murdered disappeared but just abandoned his business and his patients. Even his own staff had no idea until they just suddenly didn't have a job. I kept waiting for dirt on why he left. Maybe he moved to Chicago! 

I think a lot of the census takers were inept--and a lot of the transcriptions of them on Ancestry are poor quality. I'm pretty sure that there were language barriers for my ancestors who were German, but I've also had the hillbilly side of the family apparently stump them too. At one point, they mangled the name Annie. I guess those Appalachian accents were too much for whichever poor bastard was trying to take down the information. 

Census records!  If you follow people through multiple censuses, there are shifting ages and lots of creative spelling.  Add to that the transcriptions that are used for searches and you have puzzle on top of puzzle.  Problems come from who gave the information to the census taker, sometimes it was a neighbor, and indecipherable writing; then a transcriber comes along and tries to make sense of it - often wrong. I've contributed quite a few corrections to Ancestry where I knew the correct name. There are ancestors that I've never been able to find for a particular census - even when browsing the census rather than relying on searching transcriptions. Actually misspelling was helpful in a couple of cases where I didn't know the pronunciation of the name and it was spelled phonetically!

I'm looking forward the release of the 1950 census next year.

 

[QuinnInND]

And in a completely different vein, some friends of ours are getting married in June. Socially distanced of course. But the bride called me and asked me to help with the reception and party. Like decorations etc. So off to troll Pinterest in between all this other stuff. 

 

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Census records!  If you follow people through multiple censuses, there are shifting ages and lots of creative spelling.  Add to that the transcriptions that are used for searches and you have puzzle on top of puzzle.  Problems come from who gave the information to the census taker, sometimes it was a neighbor, and indecipherable writing; then a transcriber comes along and tries to make sense of it - often wrong. I've contributed quite a few corrections to Ancestry where I knew the correct name. There are ancestors that I've never been able to find for a particular census - even when browsing the census rather than relying on searching transcriptions. Actually misspelling was helpful in a couple of cases where I didn't know the pronunciation of the name and it was spelled phonetically!

I'm looking forward the release of the 1950 census next year.

 

One of the ones that really cracked me up was my grandpa's uncle. Apparently his full name was James Moody [insert last name]. I'm assuming he was named after someone because Moody is not a family name. But for whatever reason, they all called him "J. Mood." And if you asked for his name from him or anyone else, that's what you'd get. One of the census records has him down as "Jimoudy." I'm envisioning an Abbott and Costello-like routine about his name that just ended in the censustaker getting frustrated and writing down what he thought he heard. 

Edited January 29, 2021 by Zella

[Absolom]

Census takers swapped my grandmother with her sister.  SSA used that and gave my grandmother her benefits about five years early.  

[iwantcookies]

13 minutes ago, Zella said:

One of the ones that really cracked me up was my grandpa's uncle. Apparently his full name was James Moody [insert last name]. I'm assuming he was named after someone because Moody is not a family name. But for whatever reason, they all called him "J. Mood." And if you asked for his name from him or anyone else, that's what you'd get. One of the census records has him down as "Jimoudy." I'm envisioning an Abbott and Costello-like routine about his name that just ended in the censustaker getting frustrated and writing down what he thought he heard. 

J Mood is a great name for a rock star ! 

[doodlebug]

13 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Census records!  If you follow people through multiple censuses, there are shifting ages and lots of creative spelling.  Add to that the transcriptions that are used for searches and you have puzzle on top of puzzle.  Problems come from who gave the information to the census taker, sometimes it was a neighbor, and indecipherable writing; then a transcriber comes along and tries to make sense of it - often wrong. I've contributed quite a few corrections to Ancestry where I knew the correct name. There are ancestors that I've never been able to find for a particular census - even when browsing the census rather than relying on searching transcriptions. Actually misspelling was helpful in a couple of cases where I didn't know the pronunciation of the name and it was spelled phonetically!

I'm looking forward the release of the 1950 census next year.

 

The census relied on people going door to door and recording information in longhand.  Then, it got turned in and transcribed.  Back in the day, a lot  of people had limited educations and didn't know how to spell very well.  They often had lousy handwriting, too. Add that to a lot of people who didn't speak much English, had unusual names and perhaps giving the interview in a crowded apartment with half a dozen kids running around and there were bound to be errors.

21 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

@Scarlett45sorry about the way the response posted. The site is glitchy

When you do write your book, please let me know; I want to know this whole story.  You've lead quite a life!

[QuinnInND]

15 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

 

When you do write your book, please let me know; I want to know this whole story.  You've lead quite a life!

😂 The first 20 years were harrowing, and the last 18 have been much better! 

[Ohiopirate02]

19 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

The census relied on people going door to door and recording information in longhand.  Then, it got turned in and transcribed.  Back in the day, a lot  of people had limited educations and didn't know how to spell very well.  They often had lousy handwriting, too. Add that to a lot of people who didn't speak much English, had unusual names and perhaps giving the interview in a crowded apartment with half a dozen kids running around and there were bound to be errors.

 

I am accounting for the human factor of census taking.  The census were Americans who spoke and wrote English at a better level than any of my great-grandparents (except for 3), and they were always going to mess up with Eastern European names.  But, the census takers were able to get the names and ages correct for my grandfather and his siblings.  I really do think that my great-grandfather liked to take a piss whenever the census taker came calling.  

Now on my mother's side, I have a great-grandfather and his brother who loved to tell tall tales.  My great-grandfather liked to say that he and his little brother were stowaways, yet I can find the records for his crossing in both the English and German passenger lists.  I would love to learn more about my great-grandfathers brother.  He never married and spent most of his adult life in the Marine Corps as a regular enlisted man.  He is buried in Arlington.

[Suzn]

2 hours ago, doodlebug said:

The census relied on people going door to door and recording information in longhand.  Then, it got turned in and transcribed.  Back in the day, a lot  of people had limited educations and didn't know how to spell very well.  They often had lousy handwriting, too. Add that to a lot of people who didn't speak much English, had unusual names and perhaps giving the interview in a crowded apartment with half a dozen kids running around and there were bound to be errors.

 

Absolutely right.  There is some barely legible handwriting and some elaborate handwriting that was beautiful but hard to read.  Then we you have Ancestry employees transcribing it for their searches a 150 years later, you get interesting results.  I love to look at the census records and realize there was a person taking down information from my ancestor.

[Jeeves]

46 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Absolutely right.  There is some barely legible handwriting and some elaborate handwriting that was beautiful but hard to read.  Then we you have Ancestry employees transcribing it for their searches a 150 years later, you get interesting results.  I love to look at the census records and realize there was a person taking down information from my ancestor.

It's been awhile since I was on Ancestry.com, but I remember submitting a few corrections to their census transcriptions. Because I knew what the names should be, and I could see how someone could mistake the name given the handwriting that was on the page. I also like to look at the scans of the actual handwritten census pages. 

[Suzn]

30 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

It's been awhile since I was on Ancestry.com, but I remember submitting a few corrections to their census transcriptions. Because I knew what the names should be, and I could see how someone could mistake the name given the handwriting that was on the page. I also like to look at the scans of the actual handwritten census pages. 

Exactly the same for me!  It helps to know what it should be.  😊

[lookeyloo]

Hello everyone.  I have had a bad time the last few whatever, but today seems improved for the moment.  I really have not read much on these boards, at least with any attention span.  I scroll but don't absorb.  I'm still wishing well to everyone who needs it and cheers to everyone who has good to report.  My BFF from where we moved called me today - always a boost. And we hatched a plan. At least there is a plan.  If any of y'all remember, one of the reasons we moved here was so Sweet Son could look after us in our dotage.  Well, that isn't happening.  We are still very close to son in law, but, he has to make a new life one day and it might not include being here.  Other son lives in the PNW which we don't like to live.  It is nice to visit in summer.  I had the sad thought that if son in law moves on and away and Mr lookeyloo predeceases me, I would be here alone.  And then have to move to PNW.  I know son and daughter in law and grands would be thrilled.  I guess I could manage.  But, BFF said, why  not move back here into independent living (first she said she would take care of me, but, we both know better.  I said, well you would feed me and make me drinks...).  So, right now Mr lookeyloo is still walking upright and right now I don't know of any medical conditions I have, but, that doesn't mean something isn't brewing inside us, but, I have an alternate plan.  BFF and I couldn't be any more different, but, we are bonded.  And she is a great cook.  

I'm hoping all of you are doing okay and if not that things improve.

[QuinnInND]

@lookeyloo(((((hugs))))

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Hello everyone.  I have had a bad time the last few whatever, but today seems improved for the moment.  I really have not read much on these boards, at least with any attention span.  I scroll but don't absorb.  I'm still wishing well to everyone who needs it and cheers to everyone who has good to report.  My BFF from where we moved called me today - always a boost. And we hatched a plan. At least there is a plan.  If any of y'all remember, one of the reasons we moved here was so Sweet Son could look after us in our dotage.  Well, that isn't happening.  We are still very close to son in law, but, he has to make a new life one day and it might not include being here.  Other son lives in the PNW which we don't like to live.  It is nice to visit in summer.  I had the sad thought that if son in law moves on and away and Mr lookeyloo predeceases me, I would be here alone.  And then have to move to PNW.  I know son and daughter in law and grands would be thrilled.  I guess I could manage.  But, BFF said, why  not move back here into independent living (first she said she would take care of me, but, we both know better.  I said, well you would feed me and make me drinks...).  So, right now Mr lookeyloo is still walking upright and right now I don't know of any medical conditions I have, but, that doesn't mean something isn't brewing inside us, but, I have an alternate plan.  BFF and I couldn't be any more different, but, we are bonded.  And she is a great cook.  

I'm hoping all of you are doing okay and if not that things improve.

Your BFF sounds like a gem. So happy to hear you're having moments here and there, that aren't awful. More hugs and healing thoughts coming your way.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Hello everyone.  I have had a bad time the last few whatever, but today seems improved for the moment.  I really have not read much on these boards, at least with any attention span.  I scroll but don't absorb.  I'm still wishing well to everyone who needs it and cheers to everyone who has good to report.  My BFF from where we moved called me today - always a boost. And we hatched a plan. At least there is a plan.  If any of y'all remember, one of the reasons we moved here was so Sweet Son could look after us in our dotage.  Well, that isn't happening.  We are still very close to son in law, but, he has to make a new life one day and it might not include being here.  Other son lives in the PNW which we don't like to live.  It is nice to visit in summer.  I had the sad thought that if son in law moves on and away and Mr lookeyloo predeceases me, I would be here alone.  And then have to move to PNW.  I know son and daughter in law and grands would be thrilled.  I guess I could manage.  But, BFF said, why  not move back here into independent living (first she said she would take care of me, but, we both know better.  I said, well you would feed me and make me drinks...).  So, right now Mr lookeyloo is still walking upright and right now I don't know of any medical conditions I have, but, that doesn't mean something isn't brewing inside us, but, I have an alternate plan.  BFF and I couldn't be any more different, but, we are bonded.  And she is a great cook.  

I'm hoping all of you are doing okay and if not that things improve.

Thinking about you @lookeyloo and sending you love. 

[DangerousMinds]

9 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Since her father's name isn't on the birth certificate and Quinn's mother never told her; I doubt the PI would've needed that information to find her.  Just as Quinn cannot link herself to her father by a paper trail, a PI wouldn't be able to do it, either.  It seems there is no paper trail.  Now, if his name was on her birth certificate or it her mother had ever told her the name of her biologic father; then perhaps she also would've told the PI that and he could've used her father's information to try to find her, presuming that she went looking for her father after leaving.   I suspect that he used stuff like census records and maybe a social security number to find her.

My half sister was able to find my current address just by knowing my name (through 23 & me). I haven’t responded yet but she’s been accepting of that. 

[CalicoKitty]

My g-g-grandfather was listed twice on one census--one time with his family, and once with his aunt and uncle, who he happened to be visiting that day.  A lot of babies are listed as "No Name", and it is always fun to see the next census to see who No Name  became.  Sometimes nicknames were used on one census year and not others.  Sometimes middle names. One of my family names, SARGEANT, is misspelled several different ways--sometimes on the same document.  You have to be very "open" to spelling when doing research.

[Jeanne222]

10 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yay for chocolate. 
 

This pandemic is getting to me. Last night I had a dream I was at a dinner party with my co-workers.......😔 I miss parties so much. 

Yes me too but tomorrow I'm breaking out!  Going out to lunch. Second time in nine long months!

I'll have my mask, hand sanitizer  and I'm pumped up with the first shot of Pziher!  Going on the off hour and if it looks anyway crowded I'll walk on by!

I'm scared but I'm going!

[QuinnInND]

OMG!!!! I'VE GOT MY BIO DADS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!  So on the birth certificate my mom had that I took from home, had an address for my mom. Some quick research, and found out who the owner of the house was then, and he's the same owner now. He remembered my mom and me as an infant and my father!! At the time, he was a county constable, which explains the "peace officer" designation. My mom and the homeowners daughter were waitresses at a diner, which is where my mom and bio dad met. He said he would give his daughter a call and see if she wanted to talk to me. But I've got a name now!! YES!!!! And my husband is going to read the letters this weekend. 😊

Edited January 30, 2021 by QuinnInND

[DangerousMinds]

21 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

OMG!!!! I'VE GOT MY BIO DADS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!  So on the birth certificate my mom had that I took from home, had an address for my mom. Some quick research, and found out who the owner of the house was then, and he's the same owner now. He remembered my mom and me as an infant and my father!! At the time, he was a county constable, which explains the "peace officer" designation. My mom and the homeowners daughter were waitresses at a diner, which is where my mom and bio dad met. He said he would give his daughter a call and see if she wanted to talk to me. But I've got a name now!! YES!!!! And my husband is going to read the letters this weekend. 😊

Was your dad’s profession listed on the birth certificate? I don’t remember if you told us that.

[Zella]

Just now, DangerousMinds said:

Was your dad’s profession listed on the birth certificate? I don’t remember if you told us that.

Yeah he was listed as a peace officer.

22 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

OMG!!!! I'VE GOT MY BIO DADS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!  So on the birth certificate my mom had that I took from home, had an address for my mom. Some quick research, and found out who the owner of the house was then, and he's the same owner now. He remembered my mom and me as an infant and my father!! At the time, he was a county constable, which explains the "peace officer" designation. My mom and the homeowners daughter were waitresses at a diner, which is where my mom and bio dad met. He said he would give his daughter a call and see if she wanted to talk to me. But I've got a name now!! YES!!!! And my husband is going to read the letters this weekend. 😊

That's awesome! 🙂 Does he know if your dad is still in the area?

[DangerousMinds]

Just now, Zella said:

Yeah he was listed as a peace officer.

That's awesome! 🙂 Does he know if your dad is still in the area?

His profession was listed but not his name?

[QuinnInND]

6 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

His profession was listed but not his name?

Yes. 

7 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yeah he was listed as a peace officer.

That's awesome! 🙂 Does he know if your dad is still in the area?

No, but I've got a name now, so it should be fairly easy to find him, I hope. 

[DangerousMinds]

4 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Yes. 

No, but I've got a name now, so it should be fairly easy to find him, I hope. 

Interesting. I’m not sure how they allowed his profession to be listed, but not his name. 

i am adopted and as many may know,  adoptees get issued an amended birth certificate. The adopted parents are listed as the parents (which they are!) and there is no information there about the bio parents. For many years, adoptees couldn’t access their original birth certificates, but now we can. I’m thinking of getting mine to see if there’s a father listed. 

[emmawoodhouse]

49 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Interesting. I’m not sure how they allowed his profession to be listed, but not his name. 

i am adopted and as many may know,  adoptees get issued an amended birth certificate. The adopted parents are listed as the parents (which they are!) and there is no information there about the bio parents. For many years, adoptees couldn’t access their original birth certificates, but now we can. I’m thinking of getting mine to see if there’s a father listed. 

That is the case,with my birth certificate. It was actually amended a second time to reflect my step mother's adoption when I was 13 (my first adoptive mother passed when I was10). 

Edited January 30, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[iwantcookies]

What is independent living?

[DangerousMinds]

23 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

That is the case,with my birth certificate. It was actually amended a second time to reflect my step mother's adoption when I was 13 (my first adoptive mother passed when I was10). 

Have you ever see your original?

[emmawoodhouse]

1 minute ago, iwantcookies said:

What is independent living?

It's a level of need in a senior community. They are mostly people who don't want TBE upkeep of a house any longer. My MIL started at that level, doing her own grocery shopping, etc. to now in assisted living where she is fed 3 squares a day, has her meds brought to her, Help her dress, if needed, etc. They also have a memory care unit. 

1 minute ago, DangerousMinds said:

Have you ever see your original?

Nope. The records are sealed. 

[DangerousMinds]

56 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

It's a level of need in a senior community. They are mostly people who don't want TBE upkeep of a house any longer. My MIL started at that level, doing her own grocery shopping, etc. to now in assisted living where she is fed 3 squares a day, has her meds brought to her, Help her dress, if needed, etc. They also have a memory care unit. 

Nope. The records are sealed. 

Ours were sealed here in Ohio until a couple years ago. 

[GeeGolly]

What did you find when you Googled your dad's name @QuinnInND?

[Scarlett45]

@QuinnInND I am so glad you have a name! That’s the first step! I am so happy for you that you are making progress on your search. I am crossing all of my appendages that you get the answers you want.