Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

Scarlett45 · January 30, 2021

Yesterday after my shock over the dentist, I was to make the drive across the city to visit my great aunt and cousin in the hoarding situation. A few weeks ago my cousin sent me photos of the new fridge, so the pretense was that I was going to check out the fancy new fridge.

My Mom said she wanted to come as well, “I need to set eyes on E for myself.” So I bought them some fancy pastries and we started out there. When my cousin saw that my Mom was with me she said “wait M, I need to make a path for you to get in the house.”(no shit)

My great aunt is clean, she has weight on her, she is eating and drinking water (I checked out the super expensive fridge that has a visible door where you knock and it lights up). The hot water works, there is soap and toiletries. I won’t humbug. We kept out masks on and I stood on the other side of the room in a spot I could find to keep distance from my Aunt. The hoard is growing. There’s a new giant ass chalkboard in there, like what teachers use, or people keep in their play rooms for kids.

My Mom said to my cousin in her most stern elder voice “what are you doing about this situation?” And then my cousin started ranting about “all she has to do, etc etc” and my Mom just looked. My cousin bought me a baby pink loungewear set that was too small- so I gifted it to my BFF. My cousin stated “I know P (my sister) had a birthday, I never know what to get her and every time I get her something it’s wrong.”**** My mom said “L, P is 33yrs old, the gifts have been the same for 30yrs, she hasn’t changed sizes in the last 10. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to understand that.”

My Mom and I left and my Mom said she was never setting foot in that house again . She said that she feels bad for E, because E deserves a better existence than this, and that’s she did work and save her entire life so she wouldn’t be a burden on her only child in her last years. She also thanked me for being me and said “P (my sister) is all I can handle.”

*** for the record I do get livid at the awful gifts they buy for her. Because they do it to “feel good”, it’s never about her or what she can use. If they buy her a sweatshirt or a nightgown it’s always far too small (because they haven’t seen her and have no idea what size she is), they always buy house shoes which she has never worn a day in her life (and won’t wear) and the last gift was a PAW PATROL coloring book and crayons. I lost my damn mind. My sister colors with markers ONLY, and she doesn’t watch Paw Patrol- how is she supposed to know how to color that??? She threw it in the trash because she didn’t know what to do with it. I’m glad she saved me the trouble. It makes me so angry. I would rather you just pretend she doesn’t exists than keep spending money on this useless shit so you can feel good about yourself.

On the godmother front- she didn’t sound so great yesterday. “M, maybe I shouldn’t work any more. I feel so tired.” That’s deep. Her husband took an Uber to get his vaccine and she was glad for the time to herself. She asked how Cosmo was doing, she said she was glad he was happy.

GeeGolly · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yesterday after my shock over the dentist, I was to make the drive across the city to visit my great aunt and cousin in the hoarding situation. A few weeks ago my cousin sent me photos of the new fridge, so the pretense was that I was going to check out the fancy new fridge.

My Mom said she wanted to come as well, “I need to set eyes on E for myself.” So I bought them some fancy pastries and we started out there. When my cousin saw that my Mom was with me she said “wait M, I need to make a path for you to get in the house.”(no shit)

My great aunt is clean, she has weight on her, she is eating and drinking water (I checked out the super expensive fridge that has a visible door where you knock and it lights up). The hot water works, there is soap and toiletries. I won’t humbug. We kept out masks on and I stood on the other side of the room in a spot I could find to keep distance from my Aunt. The hoard is growing. There’s a new giant ass chalkboard in there, like what teachers use, or people keep in their play rooms for kids.

My Mom said to my cousin in her most stern elder voice “what are you doing about this situation?” And then my cousin started ranting about “all she has to do, etc etc” and my Mom just looked. My cousin bought me a baby pink loungewear set that was too small- so I gifted it to my BFF. My cousin stated “I know P (my sister) had a birthday, I never know what to get her and every time I get her something it’s wrong.”**** My mom said “L, P is 33yrs old, the gifts have been the same for 30yrs, she hasn’t changed sizes in the last 10. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to understand that.”

My Mom and I left and my Mom said she was never setting foot in that house again . She said that she feels bad for E, because E deserves a better existence than this, and that’s she did work and save her entire life so she wouldn’t be a burden on her only child in her last years. She also thanked me for being me and said “P (my sister) is all I can handle.”

*** for the record I do get livid at the awful gifts they buy for her. Because they do it to “feel good”, it’s never about her or what she can use. If they buy her a sweatshirt or a nightgown it’s always far too small (because they haven’t seen her and have no idea what size she is), they always buy house shoes which she has never worn a day in her life (and won’t wear) and the last gift was a PAW PATROL coloring book and crayons. I lost my damn mind. My sister colors with markers ONLY, and she doesn’t watch Paw Patrol- how is she supposed to know how to color that??? She threw it in the trash because she didn’t know what to do with it. I’m glad she saved me the trouble. It makes me so angry. I would rather you just pretend she doesn’t exists than keep spending money on this useless shit so you can feel good about yourself.

On the godmother front- she didn’t sound so great yesterday. “M, maybe I shouldn’t work any more. I feel so tired.” That’s deep. Her husband took an Uber to get his vaccine and she was glad for the time to herself. She asked how Cosmo was doing, she said she was glad he was happy.

I love your mother.

ozziemom · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yesterday after my shock over the dentist, I was to make the drive across the city to visit my great aunt and cousin in the hoarding situation. A few weeks ago my cousin sent me photos of the new fridge, so the pretense was that I was going to check out the fancy new fridge.

My Mom said she wanted to come as well, “I need to set eyes on E for myself.” So I bought them some fancy pastries and we started out there. When my cousin saw that my Mom was with me she said “wait M, I need to make a path for you to get in the house.”(no shit)

My great aunt is clean, she has weight on her, she is eating and drinking water (I checked out the super expensive fridge that has a visible door where you knock and it lights up). The hot water works, there is soap and toiletries. I won’t humbug. We kept out masks on and I stood on the other side of the room in a spot I could find to keep distance from my Aunt. The hoard is growing. There’s a new giant ass chalkboard in there, like what teachers use, or people keep in their play rooms for kids.

My Mom said to my cousin in her most stern elder voice “what are you doing about this situation?” And then my cousin started ranting about “all she has to do, etc etc” and my Mom just looked. My cousin bought me a baby pink loungewear set that was too small- so I gifted it to my BFF. My cousin stated “I know P (my sister) had a birthday, I never know what to get her and every time I get her something it’s wrong.”**** My mom said “L, P is 33yrs old, the gifts have been the same for 30yrs, she hasn’t changed sizes in the last 10. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to understand that.”

My Mom and I left and my Mom said she was never setting foot in that house again . She said that she feels bad for E, because E deserves a better existence than this, and that’s she did work and save her entire life so she wouldn’t be a burden on her only child in her last years. She also thanked me for being me and said “P (my sister) is all I can handle.”

*** for the record I do get livid at the awful gifts they buy for her. Because they do it to “feel good”, it’s never about her or what she can use. If they buy her a sweatshirt or a nightgown it’s always far too small (because they haven’t seen her and have no idea what size she is), they always buy house shoes which she has never worn a day in her life (and won’t wear) and the last gift was a PAW PATROL coloring book and crayons. I lost my damn mind. My sister colors with markers ONLY, and she doesn’t watch Paw Patrol- how is she supposed to know how to color that??? She threw it in the trash because she didn’t know what to do with it. I’m glad she saved me the trouble. It makes me so angry. I would rather you just pretend she doesn’t exists than keep spending money on this useless shit so you can feel good about yourself.

On the godmother front- she didn’t sound so great yesterday. “M, maybe I shouldn’t work any more. I feel so tired.” That’s deep. Her husband took an Uber to get his vaccine and she was glad for the time to herself. She asked how Cosmo was doing, she said she was glad he was happy.

What a day you had! Sometimes family is so hard to deal with, but it sounds like you and your mom are doing your best.

Scarlett45 · January 30, 2021

@GeeGolly thanks. My Mom mostly kept her snide comments to herself, but she did tell my cousin “Did you tell your cousin (meaning my father) about this situation?”

My cousin replied “no I haven’t talked to him.”

In the car I asked her WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT? I swear she just likes to say things because she has a smart mouth.

But I know she feels that her BFF is really dying because she’s stopped being snarky. No more comments about why she always wants to marry crazy men, no more harassing her to do xyz, she’s very sweet and she’s using a tone she only uses to talk to the pets.

As far as family goes- outside of this tall toddler on my hands, most of my family is dying off. I am prepared to bury everyone that ever loved me. But they loved me and kept me safe. And the older I get the more I learn how many were NOT loved and kept safe. I was lucky. (Yes I’ve addressed all of this in therapy)

iwantcookies · January 30, 2021

I spent the last 30 minutes crying.

Had a dream like my life used to be. My mom woke me up and we had breakfast... I was so happy and then I woke up. This damn sadness/grief will never go away.

Guess should do my chores/errands before the storm comes.

Edited January 30, 2021 by iwantcookies

Scarlett45 · January 30, 2021

17 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I spent the last 30 minutes crying.

Had a dream like my life used to be. My mom woke me up and we had breakfast... I was so happy and then I woke up. This damn sadness/grief will never go away.

Guess should do my chores/errands before the storm comes.

I’m so sorry. Sad Best Friends GIF by Lisa Vertudaches

emma675 · January 30, 2021

Scarlett45, your mom sounds feisty, I like it. Did she mean she's never going back to the hoarder house? That she's done with it?

The hoarder in my neighborhood has added more cars to his collection. And his neighbors say that with winter here and the leaves off the trees, they can see over the fence into his backyard and it's a maze of junk and pathways cleared through it. At this point, I would not be surprised if he has people living back there. If it ever ends up on the news I will definitely share it here, lol.

Suzn · January 30, 2021

13 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

OMG!!!! I'VE GOT MY BIO DADS NAME!!!!!!!!!!! So on the birth certificate my mom had that I took from home, had an address for my mom. Some quick research, and found out who the owner of the house was then, and he's the same owner now. He remembered my mom and me as an infant and my father!! At the time, he was a county constable, which explains the "peace officer" designation. My mom and the homeowners daughter were waitresses at a diner, which is where my mom and bio dad met. He said he would give his daughter a call and see if she wanted to talk to me. But I've got a name now!! YES!!!! And my husband is going to read the letters this weekend. 😊

Amazing! An old mystery can crack open with the right clue. I'm so glad for you that you are finding this information!

Scarlett45 · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

Scarlett45, your mom sounds feisty, I like it. Did she mean she's never going back to the hoarder house? That she's done with it?

The hoarder in my neighborhood has added more cars to his collection. And his neighbors say that with winter here and the leaves off the trees, they can see over the fence into his backyard and it's a maze of junk and pathways cleared through it. At this point, I would not be surprised if he has people living back there. If it ever ends up on the news I will definitely share it here, lol.

Yes she meant she’s never going back into the hoarder house. I don’t think she should either. It’s not safe for her! She can’t afford to trip. What if the cat jumps on top of the hoard and something tumbled into the “clear path”?(which almost happened while we were there- the cat jumped onto the kitchen table and almost caused an avalanche of papers and crap to fall all over the floor)

iwantcookies · January 30, 2021

@doodlebug what does enumeration date mean in terms for medical school ? I assume it’s graduation year. Thanks.

Oldernowiser · January 30, 2021

Just wanted to say good morning to all of you...I have been out of town (we went to the ocean for a few days...which used to be relaxing but now is fraught as hell because I have to make sure to pack enough food, wine, drinking water, cleaning supplies, dog food, towels, everything so that we don’t have to go into any stores or go anywhere but the funky little cabin...it’s like an Apollo mission). The good news is that Mr. Wiser has his vaccine appointments in March. I am “too young.” Honey, I ain’t young. Just saying.

@Scarlett45, you should be a television writer. I swear I could see that scene as you wrote it...your mom is awesome. I see where you get it.

@lookeyloo, thanks for checking in. It’s lovely you have a good friend as an option for later on. Mr. Wiser is 12 years older than I am and we really don’t know anyone here...we just moved here a couple of years ago and then Covid hit just about the time we finally finished up building our house. I would probably have to move back to Ohio to be closer to my sister and her family, but I hate the idea of being an obligation to any of them, even living on my own somewhere. “Gotta go visit crazy old Great Aunt Wiser”? Yikes.

But FWIW, the PNW is pretty decent much of the year :). I have all kinds of shoots and buds optimistically leaping out of the flower garden...in January. Beats the Maine winters I was used to by a mile!

I send you all a hug and hopes for more vaccines for everyone...

QuinnInND · January 30, 2021

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

What did you find when you Googled your dad's name @QuinnInND?

I haven't had time yet today. Housework/laundry and shopping in preparation for the storm coming has taken the day so far. Everyone is freaking out about the storm. North Dakota taught us to not freak out. It takes a lot to impress us.

@iwantcookies (((((hugs))))

Edited January 30, 2021 by QuinnInND

QuinnInND · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, Suzn said:

Amazing! An old mystery can crack open with the right clue. I'm so glad for you that you are finding this information!

I am too! It's happened so fast! Thanks to whoever started the conversation about genealogy and got me thinking and looking!

BetyBee · January 30, 2021

@Happyfatchick, you are such a good writer! When you tell a story, I feel as if we're chatting!

My husband & I got our first dose vaccines today and are scheduled for #2 next month. I am starting to feel hope 😊

I had several pages to catch up on, too many to comment on all, but I do hope that you are feeling happier, @iwantcookies. Hugs to you!

QuinnInND · January 30, 2021

I FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND MY BIO DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Found him on Facebook. Trolling through his pics. I look like him quite a bit. I've got his chin and nose. He's very handsome, and his wife is a very pretty woman. They've got 2 children. One boy and one girl. Grown, but maybe 8-10 years younger than me. My husband says I look like both of them. My heart is pounding so hard! I'm shaking!!!!

Happyfatchick · January 30, 2021

@QuinnInND, I had almost finished typing out your name when I realized I’d started with a W. I rest my case.
re finding your dad: now what?

QuinnInND · January 30, 2021

5 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

@QuinnInND, I had almost finished typing out your name when I realized I’d started with a W. I rest my case.
re finding your dad: now what?

I have no idea. I'm still shaking. Probably going to let it rest for a bit. It's been a hell of a week.

Suzn · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

I FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND MY BIO DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Found him on Facebook. Trolling through his pics. I look like him quite a bit. I've got his chin and nose. He's very handsome, and his wife is a very pretty woman. They've got 2 children. One boy and one girl. Grown, but maybe 8-10 years younger than me. My husband says I look like both of them. My heart is pounding so hard! I'm shaking!!!!

Congratulations! I'm happy for you. You have a lot to absorb before your next steps. 😊

iwantcookies · January 30, 2021

https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/30/politics/stephen-lynch-tests-positive-covid/index.html

After getting the vaccine he tested positive for COVID

QuinnInND · January 30, 2021

1 hour ago, Suzn said:

Congratulations! I'm happy for you. You have a lot to absorb before your next steps. 😊

I've got a ton to absorb. I'm still vibrating.

Happyfatchick · January 31, 2021

20 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I've got a ton to absorb. I'm still vibrating.

You may have to remove the batteries.

QuinnInND · January 31, 2021

7 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

You may have to remove the batteries.

You owe me a new keyboard. I just spit tea all over mine. 😂😂😂

ginger90 · January 31, 2021

Just sharing.....made me smile 😁

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKrf6ouF6Dp/?hl=en&chaining=true

doodlebug · January 31, 2021

7 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

@doodlebug what does enumeration date mean in terms for medical school ? I assume it’s graduation year. Thanks.

I have no idea, never heard of it.

doodlebug · January 31, 2021

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/30/politics/stephen-lynch-tests-positive-covid/index.html

After getting the vaccine he tested positive for COVID

Yep, but he didn't get sick. The vaccine is to prevent you from getting sick. We know that people can carry the virus and not have symptoms. That's why we need to keep wearing masks even after we're vaccinated.

Mindthinkr · January 31, 2021

14 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Just sharing.....made me smile 😁

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKrf6ouF6Dp/?hl=en&chaining=true

What a great way to get them exercising under the guise of making music. I loved it.

CalicoKitty · January 31, 2021

Enumeration is a term used in genealogy which means there is information about someone. A person is enumerated on the census, which means he is listed with his information that is being collected.

Oldernowiser · January 31, 2021

5 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

What a great way to get them exercising under the guise of making music. I loved it.

Ha. I was absolutely and literally just showing that video to my husband. It’s one of my favorite songs anyway... I told him to give me an exercise ball, a laundry basket and a pair of drum sticks and I don’t care how old I am, this girl is gonna get down.

Absolom · January 31, 2021

For people looking for recent mask information including effectiveness of various masks:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/n95-mask-mandate-where-to-buy-2021-01-29/

ginger90 · January 31, 2021

So, I’m 60 😱

My daughters and their families gave me a bunch of gifts. They were for the most part, related to sleep. Pajamas, slippers, memory pillow with cool gel, a cozy blanket, etc.. They sang Nappy Birthday to me 😂🤣

One of my sons in-law stopped by on his way home from work with flowers and cheesecake because he’s a nice guy.

Now for the next few days, we have this coming our way.

Edited January 31, 2021 by ginger90

Mindthinkr · January 31, 2021

@ginger90 Whoo Hoo Happy Birthday. Glad you had a good day and were celebrated.
Let me know how you like the new pillow with cooling gel. I hate when my pillow gets warm.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.

QuinnInND · January 31, 2021

Happy birthday, @ginger90! We're supposed to get 8-10 inches in the DC area.

iwantcookies · January 31, 2021

25 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

So, I’m 60 😱

My daughters and their families gave me a bunch of gifts. They were for the most part, related to sleep. Pajamas, slippers, memory pillow with cool gel, a cozy blanket, etc.. They sang Nappy Birthday to me 😂🤣

One of my sons in-law stopped by on his way home from work with flowers and cheesecake because he’s a nice guy.

Now for the next few days, we have this coming our way.

You in PA?

Nappy birthday sounds cute!

Happy birthday to you and many more!

Scarlett45 · January 31, 2021

Happy Birthday @ginger90!!!!

ginger90 · January 31, 2021

2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

You in PA?

Yes I am.

Oldernowiser · January 31, 2021

@ginger90, Happy Birthday, sweetie. You’re a star!

GeeGolly · January 31, 2021

Happy Birthday @ginger90! 🥳

My birthday was last week. We're Aquarius sisters!

emma675 · January 31, 2021

Ginger90, happiest of birthdays!! I'm in Texas but one of my favorite teams is the Philadelphia 76ers.

I'm so jealous of all of the snow the northeast is about to get. My friends in Maryland are prepping for staying in at home for a few days.

ETA, GeeGolly, you little stinker! You didn't tell us your birthday was last week!! Happy belated, friend!

Edited January 31, 2021 by emma675d

DangerousMinds · January 31, 2021

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Happy Birthday @ginger90! 🥳

My birthday was last week. We're Aquarius sisters!

Aquarius here too! ❤️

Zella · January 31, 2021

Happy birthday, @ginger90 and @GeeGolly!

Jeeves · January 31, 2021

Happy birthday a little late, @GeeGolly. Happy nappy birthday, @ginger90!

Suzn · January 31, 2021

56 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

So, I’m 60 😱

My daughters and their families gave me a bunch of gifts. They were for the most part, related to sleep. Pajamas, slippers, memory pillow with cool gel, a cozy blanket, etc.. They sang Nappy Birthday to me 😂🤣

One of my sons in-law stopped by on his way home from work with flowers and cheesecake because he’s a nice guy.

Now for the next few days, we have this coming our way.

Happy Birthday! 🎂

Suzn · January 31, 2021

25 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Happy Birthday @ginger90! 🥳

My birthday was last week. We're Aquarius sisters!

A belated Happy Birthday! 🎂

Mindthinkr · January 31, 2021

@GeeGolly Happy Belated Birthday. I hope you had a very good day.

realityfan26 · January 31, 2021

Happy birthday @ginger90 & @GeeGolly 🎂🎈🍸🍹🍷

iwantcookies · January 31, 2021

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Happy Birthday @ginger90! 🥳

My birthday was last week. We're Aquarius sisters!

Happy belated birthday!

Love2dance · January 31, 2021

Happiest of birthday wishes to you @GeeGolly and @ginger90. Hope you both made some good, but safe, memories!

@QuinnInND, oh my goodness, your quest just becomes more and more intriguing. No wonder you are shaking!

Temperance · January 31, 2021

Happy Birthday @ginger90 and @GeeGolly! 🎂

GeeGolly · January 31, 2021

Thank you all very much for the birthday wishes!

I don't know about you all, but I thought @ginger90 was much younger than the big 6 - 0. She exudes the energy and exuberance of someone much younger.

And I did have a sweet day. We had hibachi take-out, ice cream cake, a couple Zoom sessions and I blew out a candle (that I held in my own hand). I hope my wish comes true for each and everyone of us.

Thank you again, its may seem silly, but your birthday wishes are meaningful.

ginger90 · January 31, 2021

A happy (belated) birthday to you @GeeGolly !!!!

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