Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Christina87]

@DragonFaerie what a horrible surprise!!! Know that I am praying for you. I really hope the surgery works!!! It's crazy how things like that can just happen all of a sudden. I pray that he will be here with you for a long time yet. Please do keep us updated. 

@bythelake I can't believe they have charged that much!!! I think the last I remember reading, it was Taco Bell and maybe one other thing. Ughhhh. I hate that you're having to deal with all that. 

@Scarlett45 and you can't forget copious amounts of velveeta!!! If the recipe isn't shiny, soupy, and neon yellow, you've done something wrong! 😜😜😜

[Ohiopirate02]

9 hours ago, Temperance said:

Do you guys have any particular recommendations for facial moisturizer with SPF in it?  People have brought it up with the Duggars, so I wondering about it. 

I have sensitive skin and cannot use cheap chemical sunscreens on my face, but any brand of moisturizer with a SPF of 30 or more will work.  The Neutrogena moisturizer with zinc oxide SPF of 50 that I had been using is getting harder to find.  I do like Cerave products but they are more expensive than other drugstore brands.  Whatever you do, do not use anything with a SPF less than 30 or you are basically putting nothing on.  

[Jynnan tonnix]

I like to use the sunscreens that come in a twist-up sort of stick (kind of looks like deodorant) on my face. It feels a bit greasy, but is the only thing I can use that doesn't eventually drift into my eyes, making them sting and water. And despite the texture, it actually seems to work as a halfway decent primer for if I am going to be going somewhere that I want to put makeup on. 

I've had a couple of Neutrogena ones, and currently have one by one of the big sunscreen brands, but don't recall which offhand. It came as a bonus with some cream type sunscreen.

[BitterApple]

10 hours ago, Temperance said:

Do you guys have any particular recommendations for facial moisturizer with SPF in it?  People have brought it up with the Duggars, so I wondering about it. 

I like Elta MD. You can buy it through Amazon, but if you do, make sure Amazon is the seller. There's a lot of third party knock-offs out there.

[SunnyBeBe]

Dragonfaire, so sorry to read the news about your husband's medical situation.  It sounds like quite an ordeal.  You both have really been through it.  So many thoughts and prayers were sent your way. I do hope all is well after surgery and that we'll get great news, whenever you have time to update. 

Whatever they reason, and VISA would not tell me, these attempts to use my card for some reason raised a red flag.  I'm not sure what it is was, but, VISA declined it each and every time that it wasn't me.  It was in my city too.  How did they know that I didn't go crazy and stop off at  a Taco Bell?  lol  So, I think there must have been some kind of tip off. Like did they request the Zip code that is associated with the account?  When you use some machines like gas pump, they ask you enter the zip code, before processing it.  If you don't have it, it would decline you.  

Our local news has reported about this card readers that criminals install on gas pumps that read the credit card numbers.  Apparently, various people can get the key that unlocks these pumps and they return later and remove the device, along with the stolen info.  For that reason, I rarely use a card for gas, unless it's at my regular Sam's Club gas pumps. 

I don't have a recommendation for skin care products, but, they do offer a lot of them  on QVC all the time.  It's pricey, but, they have a lot to choose from.  I personally don't think the most expensive makes it any better, but, to each his own.  I used to use Clinique products and was always pleased with them.  Their products can be found at Belk, Macy's and online.

https://www.clinique.com/skincare-supercat

[Scarlett45]

@Temperance I use https://www.sephora.com/product/a-perfect-world-spf-40-age-defense-moisturizer-with-white-tea-P417307

[Christina87]

43 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Dragonfaire, so sorry to read the news about your husband's medical situation.  It sounds like quite an ordeal.  You both have really been through it.  So many thoughts and prayers were sent your way. I do hope all is well after surgery and that we'll get great news, whenever you have time to update. 

Whatever they reason, and VISA would not tell me, these attempts to use my card for some reason raised a red flag.  I'm not sure what it is was, but, VISA declined it each and every time that it wasn't me.  It was in my city too.  How did they know that I didn't go crazy and stop off at  a Taco Bell?  lol  So, I think there must have been some kind of tip off. Like did they request the Zip code that is associated with the account?  When you use some machines like gas pump, they ask you enter the zip code, before processing it.  If you don't have it, it would decline you.  

Our local news has reported about this card readers that criminals install on gas pumps that read the credit card numbers.  Apparently, various people can get the key that unlocks these pumps and they return later and remove the device, along with the stolen info.  For that reason, I rarely use a card for gas, unless it's at my regular Sam's Club gas pumps. 

I don't have a recommendation for skin care products, but, they do offer a lot of them  on QVC all the time.  It's pricey, but, they have a lot to choose from.  I personally don't think the most expensive makes it any better, but, to each his own.  I used to use Clinique products and was always pleased with them.  Their products can be found at Belk, Macy's and online.

https://www.clinique.com/skincare-supercat

That kind of thing makes me so mad!!! If these criminals worked that hard at a legitimate business, they could probably make just as much money!

[galaxychaser]

I’m watching Leah Remini show season 3. Wow I learned too much about Scientology and clear water, Florida 

[SunnyBeBe]

Well, Mother's Day is coming up.  Have you ever done something that you know is going to make someone so happy that you can barely stand it?  So far, I've kept the details to myself.  Oh, this is not really for my mother, though, she is involved.  It's for an old friend that I attended church and school with many years ago.  Her mother died about 10 years ago, before that she lost her sister and father.   And, her brother died a few years after that.( It was tragic.)  Anyway, at a school reunion 2 years ago, she asked me if I ever ran across any recorded music or pictures from our old church. (Yes, it was the fundie church, but, I'll put that aside for now.)  She moved far across the state and no longer sees any of the people she grew up with.  I sensed that she was really longing to revisit those days, when we were so young and it was a different time.  Plus, she misses her parents and siblings.  

Fast forward to a few months ago.  I actually located a DVD of a church service where the choir is singing and HER MOTHER is singing in the choir. (Right beside my mother.) They sing several songs and she is quite visible. I could barely believe it. This was from 1986! She's going to be so happy! I know she has never seen anything like it and likely has no idea it exists.  I'm getting it in the mail to her on Monday, so, she'll get it by Mother's Day.  Sometimes, things just work out so well.  What a blessing!

Edited May 3, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[emma675]

DragonFaerie, I hope the surgery went smoothly and successfully this morning. Please update us when you can. I'm sending prayers, thoughts, good vibes, light, healing, and whatever else you need.

I'm working from home today while the tree trimmers are at my house. I've doped up the dog to help her anxiety but I have nothing for mine. I don't know why, but having the trees trimmed ramps up my stress. I worry that they are cutting too many branches, that the branches falling and hitting the roof will cause damage, that the yard will have holes where branches fell, that the trees will somehow die, etc. I have a 100+ year old oak in the front yard and it is HUGE. There are 6 guys up in it right now trimming away. 

[Mindthinkr]

@SunnyBeBe Your friend is so lucky to have a thoughtful friend like you. That’s an awesome Mother’s Day surprise. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Emma, if they are trimming trees, I wouldn't venture outside at all.   They are supposed to have precautions for falling limbs, but, just to be on the safe side.  Most of the people that we have used did a good job. 

[bigskygirl]

32 minutes ago, emma675 said:

DragonFaerie, I hope the surgery went smoothly and successfully this morning. Please update us when you can. I'm sending prayers, thoughts, good vibes, light, healing, and whatever else you need.

I'm working from home today while the tree trimmers are at my house. I've doped up the dog to help her anxiety but I have nothing for mine. I don't know why, but having the trees trimmed ramps up my stress. I worry that they are cutting too many branches, that the branches falling and hitting the roof will cause damage, that the yard will have holes where branches fell, that the trees will somehow die, etc. I have a 100+ year old oak in the front yard and it is HUGE. There are 6 guys up in it right now trimming away. 

You sound like me when they did the repair work on my house. On the second day I was ready to hand everything over to my husband and go to a hotel with my cat until they were finished. I got a phone call this morning saying they are sending another guy over next Thursday morning to do an audit on the work that was done.

Edited May 3, 2019 by bigskygirl

[Abstract]

I use Neutrogena Age Shield face lotion with broad spectrum spf 70. I can't leave my house without sunscreen or I have a reaction due to rosacea meds. 

[Lisa418722]

@DragonFaerie, hugs and healing thoughts for your husband. 

As far as credit cards years ago my debit card was hacked and when I called the (nationwide) bank they were acting like I was lying to them.  It was for a textbook company and at that time I had not been a student for over 10 years.  It didn't take me long to close the account after they finally reimbursed me.

Then a few years later I was on vacation on the other side of the country and I had an email from my credit card company saying they thought I had been hacked and needed me to call them. Yup, someone had charged over $600 on Wal-Mart. com and somewhere else.  I had them to close the account. Fun vacation without a credit card, but luckily my hotel and airfare had already been paid and I did have cash on me.   A couple of months later my card was involved in the Target breach.  In less than three months I had three different numbers.

[lookeyloo]

@DragonFaerie - oh my that is so scary!  I am hoping by now they have things under control. Sending positive healing vibes your way.

[Sew Sumi]

@DragonFaerie, hugs to you and healing vibes for your husband. Hopefully, the surgery resolves his issues. 

[jcbrown]

@DragonFaerie that sounds absolutely terrifying and I am so sorry you are going through it. I hope everything went well and he is on the road to recovery. Positive energy coming your way.

[Love2dance]

@DragonFaerie, I am so hoping that your husband is doing well and the surgery was a success. You are in my thoughts, and I also hope you have people close to you for support. Many hugs coming your way.

[Zella]

@DragonFaerie, I'm very sorry about your husband! I hope his surgery is a success. You and him are in my thoughts and prayers. 

[crazycatlady58]

14 hours ago, DragonFaerie said:

Hey all,

It's been a crazy start of the year, so I haven't been here as much, but I am begging for prayers, energy, warm fuzzies, good intentions, lit candles, Reiki, anything and everything.  My 50 yr old hubby had an issue in the wee hours of Monday morning - we had been packing Sunday for my birthday camping trip to Yosemite.  I took him to the ER.  He was admitted to hospital.  I almost lost him Tuesday afternoon, but he fought back.  Wee hours of Wednesday morning, he crashed hard and was transferred to ICU, along with blood infusions.  He was started on dialysis and diagnosed with sudden onset liver failure and failing kidneys.  Wed. night he looked good and was so much better.  Thursday was a set back and then Thursday afternoon his heart rate went crazy - Tachy - running 174-192 a minute for over an hour.  IV drugs administered to no effect.  They drained his abdomen, which had swollen and that worked.  But the drainage was a greenish brown, so they ordered a contrast CT scan.  Discovered a hole in his bowels that is leaking out into his abdomen.  Emergency surgery is scheduled starting at 6-7 am PST on Friday morning.   I'm still in shock.  We've been married 25 years, together for 28, I'm at a total loss, so anything that anyone can do I would very much appreciate it.

DragonFaerie, gentle hugs and prayers for both of you. I wish I lived close to you so I could do something make a meal for you, clean house ect.

[Sew Sumi]

@DragonFaerie, I just realized we live fairly close. I know they closed one hospital in your area, so you might be closer to me as a result. If I can be of any help in the next few days, shoot me a PM. 

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

@DragonFaerie, I just realized we live fairly close. I know they closed one hospital in your area, so you might be closer to me as a result. If I can be of any help in the next few days, shoot me a PM. 

Awwwww I love seeing our community come together like this!!!

[Sew Sumi]

It's been so long since she posted that it took a bit of recall to remember that we're practically neighbors! ❤

eta: @Christina87, how did your dinner go?

Edited May 4, 2019 by Sew Sumi

[Temperance]

Thanks for your recommendations everyone! Thank you @louannems, Thank you @Ohiopirate02, Thank you @Jynnan tonnix, Thank you @BitterApple, Thank you  @SunnyBeBe, Thank you @Scarlett45, and Thank you @Abstract. I will be finding some new moisturizing lotion soon. 😊

@DragonFaerie Sending good wishes and I hope things work out in your favor. 

@galaxychaser I also watched Leah's show and there is a primetimer forum for her show. I also learned about Scientology and it looks there will be a fourth season. If I had tons of money, I would buy property in Clearwater just to mess with them. 

[Happyfatchick]

because I’m a proud Giggy and I can’t reaist.  You know what’s cool about a “Giggy”?  Giggys have magic sugar and it won’t wash off.  Doesn’t matter how old you get, if you have a Giggy, you have layers and layers and layers of sticky lovey sweetness that’s just STUCK to your face, your neck, your bellybutton and even sometimes your butt cheeks.  It’s completely invisible, but it’s always there.  Never ever washes off, no matter what.  Even my 17 yr old and almost 17 year old can tell you about magic Giggy sugar.

I’ve just realized I don’t know how to attach a pic any more.  Or maybe I just can’t with my phone.  Can someone tell me if something’s changed?  (Obviously, nvm.  About the 10th time I did it, I got what I wanted. Perpendicular Perseverance.  

Edited May 4, 2019 by Happyfatchick

[Christina87]

15 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

It's been so long since she posted that it took a bit of recall to remember that we're practically neighbors! ❤

eta: @Christina87, how did your dinner go?

It was delicious!!! It was the third time I have made the potato casserole, and it finally turned out just right! My friend and I had SUCH a good evening. Thank you for asking!

[emma675]

I'm posting this here, too, because I think we've got a good group of ladies who could give me advice. 

I've got a conundrum. How do you break up with your hairstylist? In the past it's been natural--I've moved or they did or the salon closed. I've been with my current stylist for 5 years now and it's gotten to the point where I dread going. It's almost like she thinks she "owns" my hair now. She won't add highlights or lighten it the way I want because it might damage my hair; I added a few extensions last year (with another girl) and she gets all judgy about them and refuses to color them because she "doesn't do extensions". Today she kept saying she saw damage in areas where I don't even have extensions, yet she was positive they were the cause. Shes a cool girl but over the years she's just gotten more negative in general and it's exhausting. But I have no idea how to leave without hurting her feelings. 

[Temperance]

@emma675 I would not schedule another appointment at the salon. I would cancel any existing appointments at the salon. People cancel all the time; you don't need an excuse or explanation. I would try to cancel the appointments with the receptionist/generic staff over the phone and not in person. I would not ask to speak with the stylist. 

It gets more complicated if your hair stylist is someone you're friends when she's not working, but that doesn't seem to be true.

I think just booking at another salon is fine. People move; they change; they move on. She's probably used to it. 

[BitterApple]

33 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I'm posting this here, too, because I think we've got a good group of ladies who could give me advice. 

I've got a conundrum. How do you break up with your hairstylist? In the past it's been natural--I've moved or they did or the salon closed. I've been with my current stylist for 5 years now and it's gotten to the point where I dread going. It's almost like she thinks she "owns" my hair now. She won't add highlights or lighten it the way I want because it might damage my hair; I added a few extensions last year (with another girl) and she gets all judgy about them and refuses to color them because she "doesn't do extensions". Today she kept saying she saw damage in areas where I don't even have extensions, yet she was positive they were the cause. Shes a cool girl but over the years she's just gotten more negative in general and it's exhausting. But I have no idea how to leave without hurting her feelings. 

Is it a scenario where you like the salon but want to book with another stylist? If so, yeah, that's awkward, but if you want to go elsewhere, I don't think you owe an explanation or have to do an official break-up. 

[Zella]

Emma, I had to do this last year, and I think@Temperance gave you some good advice. If when you cancel any standing appointments and they try to pressure you into making another one, you can be honest about why you're leaving. But if you don't want to do that, you can always put them off with just a vague, I'll call you when I'm ready. And of course just don't call. 🙂

I have had issues with finding someone good for my hair--not that my hair is necessarily complicated. A friend recommended someone to me, and I tried her out and really liked her. Then, I quickly discovered that she seemed to compulsively change appointments, sometimes for legitimate emergencies but other times just because she randomly decided she wanted to spend the day with her family. I live a pretty good way away from her and could not just come on an entirely different day or at a different time. I spent months trying to get an appointment with her that was ultimately always cancelled at the last minute. I was afraid I'd hurt my friend's feelings for bailing, but she told me she had the same issue with her, but they'd been friends 20 years, so she just tolerated it. Well, I wasn't her pal, so I just gave up and found someone else. Incidentally, this new hairstylist is working out pretty well. I hope she doesn't move! 

[CalicoKitty]

I've had the same situation.  I had a stylist cancel an appointment the day before I had to go to a major event-and she knew about the event. After 5 years of being her client, I expected some loyalty. I simply never went back to her.  No conversation needed.

I ended up going to a walk-in type shop that day, and everything worked out just fine.

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I've had the same situation.  I had a stylist cancel an appointment the day before I had to go to a major event-and she knew about the event. After 5 years of being her client, I expected some loyalty. I simply never went back to her.  No conversation needed.

I ended up going to a walk-in type shop that day, and everything worked out just fine.

Yeah that would make me mad too! I was understanding about family illnesses, but when she cancelled just because she decided to go to the zoo, I was majorly pissed. 

I had a bad experience at another salon immediately after I decided to stop going to that one who cancelled all the time. But the one I went to after that worked out really well! This reminds me I need another haircut. 😃

Edited May 5, 2019 by Zella

[emma675]

Thanks, everyone! The big issue is that she's in one of those salons where each stylist rents their own room, so there is no receptionist, she does her own booking. We're friends when I'm at my appointment but I don't see her outside of that. I feel bad because I like her but I feel like my hair isn't my own anymore. I like the girl who does my extensions but I don't know how skilled she is with color and cut. Ugh, I hate this stuff. I'm so bad at breaking up with people, lol.

[Absolom]

If you don't have any appointments scheduled, then don't make any more.  If you have only one scheduled, then just call to cancel and say something like you can't make it.  If you have a standing appointment or multiple scheduled, then you can make up a story like work schedule is changing so we need to cancel those if you can't handle anything firmer.  I had to fire the nail technician once and I went with I'm not sure how my schedule is going to be for the next few months so we'll need to cancel everything.  

[Barb23]

5 hours ago, Christina87 said:

It was delicious!!! It was the third time I have made the potato casserole, and it finally turned out just right! My friend and I had SUCH a good evening. Thank you for asking!

Would you mind sharing your potato casserole recipe?  I'm in charge of potatoes for Easter dinner at my sisters. I already found a recipe online but am still open for other ideas. Thanks!!

[galaxychaser]

On 5/4/2019 at 3:03 AM, Temperance said:

Thanks for your recommendations everyone! Thank you @louannems, Thank you @Ohiopirate02, Thank you @Jynnan tonnix, Thank you @BitterApple, Thank you  @SunnyBeBe, Thank you @Scarlett45, and Thank you @Abstract. I will be finding some new moisturizing lotion soon. 😊

@DragonFaerie Sending good wishes and I hope things work out in your favor. 

@galaxychaser I also watched Leah's show and there is a primetimer forum for her show. I also learned about Scientology and it looks there will be a fourth season. If I had tons of money, I would buy property in Clearwater just to mess with them. 

David is scary! I’m glad Leah and others are talking about their experiences. 

[Mindthinkr]

@DragonFaerie  

I’ve been worried about your husband and how you are doing in the midst of this unexpected stressful time. Any updates? Please know that good thoughts are still being sent to both of you. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

@emma675 I’ve been there! With one stylist, I am actually really good friends with her twin sister. I stopped going to the stylist because she was booking too many people and I would have to wait an hour or more past my appt time for my hair to actually get done. So, for a while, I just didn’t get my haircut because I didn’t know where to go. When I did finally get it cut, I felt a little weird when I saw the twin sister the next time. She noticed my hair was cut. If she knew her sister didn’t do it, she didn’t say anything. I have seen the stylist sister, and while I may have felt a little awkward, nothing was ever actually awkward.

Bottom like it is your hair, your body, your appearance. She is in the service industry. If you don’t like the service she provides for any reason at all, you can go somewhere else. If she wanted to retain your services, she should have handled everything surrounding the extensions better. I would bet you are nothing but “that girl who spends x dollars every x weeks” to her and she just wants to keep getting your money.

To you, she is your one (two!) stylist so it seems like a big deal. To her, you are one of how ever many clients and she won’t give it another thought.

I work in the service industry and client retention and word of mouth advertising is everything to me. So I bend over backwards for my clients all the time. I am nice to them all the time. If they ask me about something I can’t do, I find someone to refer them to. At the end of the day, they are paying me to provide a service and we all know going into it that the client can take their business elsewhere if they aren’t happy (and I can refuse services if I am). It’s just all part of the deal. So cancel those appts, find someone who isn’t weirdly grumpy about extensions, enjoy your beautiful healthy hair, and don’t think about the old stylist again because she ain’t thinking about you.

Edited May 5, 2019 by Marshmallow Mollie

[Happyfatchick]

I’m adding my sad stylist story:  I worked and worked for months to grow my hair out for an updo at my daughters wedding.  I’d left my regular girl about a year before because she has  SO so much DRAMA in her life, she was always distracted and seemed to be losing her moxie with my hair - and I have A LOT OF HAIR.  I grew the length with only trims, and grew the color out completely, going all silver.  I’d started going to my neighbor (who really is a good stylist, and who did GREAT with my cabbage patch mop for a year prior).  Tuesday before the wedding in Saturday, I went for her to practice.  I wanted a simple twist, wed talked about it for MONTHS.  1) she had color slapped on me before I could blink.  We didn’t talk about that and she KNEW id just grown my color out!  and 2) proceeded to whack it into layers.  LAYERS!!!  For a twist!   I was in the chair for SIX HOURS on a practice run.  The pic is not the practice run - this is the day OF said wedding.  I had feathers and loops and OMG, total disaster.  I called my original for back and explained “I left you because you were distracted and not paying attention to my hair.  We can go to lunch and you can unload, but when you’re doing my HAIR, I need you to focus”.  She agreed, cried and said I was so right and please come back.  So I did and she’s the bomb.  The neighbor has called looking for me... but I didn’t walk away from her, I ran (and my leg was broken at the time!)  and hey, as Ron white says “we live 2 doors down on a dirt road.  We’ve met”.  Wedding day, when she left, I took FIFTY Bobby pins out and shook my hair out.  It’s all I had time to do!  

[Lisa418722]

When I first moved to Georgia, I would still go to my stylist in Tennessee. Then her daughter met a guy online and she was spending most of her time in California with her daughter.  I found someone locally to do my hair and he did a good job, but after a few years his salon closed and he was moving to another salon in the same mall. He told me "the prices are going up a little bit."  It was going to be at least $20 more (if not more) and that is not "a little bit" to me.  I'm now seeing someone else, but sometimes I want to try something a little different, but she always cuts and colors my hair the same.  Yeah, it's safe, but hair will grow.  

[Christina87]

14 hours ago, emma675 said:

I'm posting this here, too, because I think we've got a good group of ladies who could give me advice. 

I've got a conundrum. How do you break up with your hairstylist? In the past it's been natural--I've moved or they did or the salon closed. I've been with my current stylist for 5 years now and it's gotten to the point where I dread going. It's almost like she thinks she "owns" my hair now. She won't add highlights or lighten it the way I want because it might damage my hair; I added a few extensions last year (with another girl) and she gets all judgy about them and refuses to color them because she "doesn't do extensions". Today she kept saying she saw damage in areas where I don't even have extensions, yet she was positive they were the cause. Shes a cool girl but over the years she's just gotten more negative in general and it's exhausting. But I have no idea how to leave without hurting her feelings. 

I hear you. I am having the same issue with my chiropractor. He doesn't really do a good job, and when I told my hometown chiropractor about it, he bent over backwards to accommodate me so I could keep going to him (even letting me come on Sundays!). The thing is, though, I'd like to stay in this chiropractor's orbit, because sometimes I may have an emergency that he could treat fine, when I obviously wouldn't want to drive back home. But as far as going monthly, there is no need. But they make it hard to quit, because they automatically schedule you for every month at the beginning of the year. I am so anti confrontational, and they have helped me in the past, just not as well as my main one. Plus, he is very affordable, and I actually don't mind paying for the extra time a month with him. It's really just the time. It's on the other side of town...was close to my work, but I don't work there anymore! I know I could tell them I'm going to my hometown one, and they might still let me come for emergencies, but I don't want to burn bridges!

13 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Would you mind sharing your potato casserole recipe?  I'm in charge of potatoes for Easter dinner at my sisters. I already found a recipe online but am still open for other ideas. Thanks!!

Yes!!! I will! It is so good. I'll add it soon. 

Guys, I need to vent...about the fun adventure we call dating... I don't think I will ever go on another date again! I was supposed to go out with another guy this weekend, who went quiet and stood me up, yet again! Almost every guy I have talked to this time around has stood me up! Idk if it's a new trend, or if it's me. I never got stood up when I was in my twenties, thin, and pretty. However, it seems silly, because I haven't gained 600 pounds...I am a little older and less attractive, but it's not by a significant amount, really. The guys I am setting up dates with are older and less attractive than guys I dated in my twenties, too. That stupid guy on Reddit said I was fat, and would keep getting stood up until I'm skinny again...yet I see overweight people marrying every day! The ridiculous thing is that these guys are asking me out in the first place...if they think I'm fat...then why do they express interest? Secondly, I know I am choosing guys well within my league. Every time I see a guy I find attractive and think, "I'd date him!" I see his girlfriend and she is objectively less attractive than me...every time! Then I high five myself and think, "see, I could have dated him when he was single!" Guys love to whine about women expecting the perfect ten, so I'm really trying to make sure that's not me, but it's not. Maybe the guys are finding "hotter" women and are jerks about it, but I think I am being realistic about who I could successfully date (and my last boyfriend was so cute that I didn't think he'd go for me in a million years! So you can be surprised the other way around!).

So I don't understand why standing people up is so common these days! Has anyone else experienced this? I swear, I can only think of a time or two this happened in my twenties, and it was never with a first date. It always seemed to be with a douchebag, bro type guy who realized he wasn't getting any at the speed he wanted, and ghosted after three or four dates.  It's kind of depressing to know I'm 31 and want a family, yet it takes sooooo much effort to even get a FIRST date. First dates were like water three years ago! I'm hoping that what they say is true about people in their thirties being more committed once they actually meet you. I've heard so many stories about people my age meeting, both knowing what they want, and not playing around and wasting time. Maybe it's harder to get a date, but the ones you do get are more serious? It seemed like in my twenties, I went out with most guys I met on maybe 1-3 real dates, before finding out that all they want is sex. Maybe that is less likely past 30?

ughhhh. The good thing is, I'm actually pretty happy with my life, though! I love my new living situation, and feel very hopeful as teacher hiring season is starting. Sometimes I have the feeling that my husband is married to a horrible, horrible woman right now, and will find me in a few years after they divorce. Haha! Idk why I feel that. At less than I am happy with my life day to day, but I don't want it to be like this forever. 

Edited May 5, 2019 by Christina87

[bigskygirl]

I remember this one woman who cut my hair. She convinced me to get a short pixie cut the first time I ever got highlights. The highlights looked good, but I decided to grow out my hair within a few months of getting the pixie cut. She acted like I insulted her. I wanted to tell her my hair, and I decide if I want to grow it out. Years later I went to another salon in town and said I wanted to grow my hair out. The girl did agreed with me and help me grow it out. She also did a great job with my highlights and color. It has been two years since I got any color or highlights. I did get my hair cut last week because trying to grow it out was driving me crazy. I like it shorter and it is easier to take care of.

[lookeyloo]

34 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I hear you. I am having the same issue with my chiropractor. He doesn't really do a good job, and when I told my hometown chiropractor about it, he bent over backwards to accommodate me so I could keep going to him (even letting me come on Sundays!). The thing is, though, I'd like to stay in this chiropractor's orbit, because sometimes I may have an emergency that he could treat fine, when I obviously wouldn't want to drive back home. But as far as going monthly, there is no need. But they make it hard to quit, because they automatically schedule you for every month at the beginning of the year. I am so anti confrontational, and they have helped me in the past, just not as well as my main one. Plus, he is very affordable, and I actually don't mind paying for the extra time a month with him. It's really just the time. It's on the other side of town...was close to my work, but I don't work there anymore! I know I could tell them I'm going to my hometown one, and they might still let me come for emergencies, but I don't want to burn bridges!

Yes!!! I will! It is so good. I'll add it soon. 

Guys, I need to vent...about the fun adventure we call dating... I don't think I will ever go on another date again! I was supposed to go out with another guy this weekend, who went quiet and stood me up, yet again! Almost every guy I have talked to this time around has stood me up! Idk if it's a new trend, or if it's me. I never got stood up when I was in my twenties, thin, and pretty. However, it seems silly, because I haven't gained 600 pounds...I am a little older and less attractive, but it's not by a significant amount, really. The guys I am setting up dates with are older and less attractive than guys I dated in my twenties, too. That stupid guy on Reddit said I was fat, and would keep getting stood up until I'm skinny again...yet I see overweight people marrying every day! The ridiculous thing is that these guys are asking me out in the first place...if they think I'm fat...then why do they express interest? Secondly, I know I am choosing guys well within my league. Every time I see a guy I find attractive and think, "I'd date him!" I see his girlfriend and she is objectively less attractive than me...every time! Then I high five myself and think, "see, I could have dated him when he was single!" Guys love to whine about women expecting the perfect ten, so I'm really trying to make sure that's not me, but it's not. Maybe the guys are finding "hotter" women and are jerks about it, but I think I am being realistic about who I could successfully date (and my last boyfriend was so cute that I didn't think he'd go for me in a million years! So you can be surprised the other way around!).

So I don't understand why standing people up is so common these days! Has anyone else experienced this? I swear, I can only think of a time or two this happened in my twenties, and it was never with a first date. It always seemed to be with a douchebag, bro type guy who realized he wasn't getting any at the speed he wanted, and ghosted after three or four dates.  It's kind of depressing to know I'm 31 and want a family, yet it takes sooooo much effort to even get a FIRST date. First dates were like water three years ago! I'm hoping that what they say is true about people in their thirties being more committed once they actually meet you. I've heard so many stories about people my age meeting, both knowing what they want, and not playing around and wasting time. Maybe it's harder to get a date, but the ones you do get are more serious? It seemed like in my twenties, I went out with most guys I met on maybe 1-3 real dates, before finding out that all they want is sex. Maybe that is less likely past 30?

ughhhh. The good thing is, I'm actually pretty happy with my life, though! I love my new living situation, and feel very hopeful as teacher hiring season is starting. Sometimes I have the feeling that my husband is married to a horrible, horrible woman right now, and will find me in a few years after they divorce. Haha! Idk why I feel that. At less than I am happy with my life day to day, but I don't want it to be like this forever. 

I know its hard, but maybe the crop of prospects on the sites isn't the best quality and you'll meet a selection of mr. might be rights other ways.  Here is a story.  Mr. lookeyloo went to graduate school with a fellow who *wouldn't* date because none of the prospects he identified were "perfect".  Of course this fellow is nice enough and very average.  He ended up going all through medical school single, no perfect enough woman.  Finally he matured enough to throw that out.  He married a very nice very average woman.  They are still married.  We speculate that he was too insecure to ask any woman out, let alone a "perfect" one.  Those fellows have their own set of issues and I am just saying it doesn't have anything to do with your weight.  If it weren't that, they'd find something else.  Look elsewhere.

I have broken up with several hairdressers.  I just didn't make a follow up appointment.  Now I get my haircut at a kids salon because all I want is a haircut and I don't need an appointment.  I try and time my visits for when school is in season and not on a school break.  I've been very lucky to most of the time walk in and then walk out.  I do have a favorite stylist.  She had a "real" career before doing this which is only 2 days a week.

[DragonFaerie]

Hello everyone and thank you for all the prayers, energy, warm fuzzies and more.  

Friday morning came and they pushed his surgery to Friday afternoon.  The surgeon told me I had 2 choices:  1 - be passive and just keep him comfortable until the end, or 2 - do the surgery, but I should know there was an 80% chance of him dying on the table.  

I said 20% is better than 0 and I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't do everything I could.  The surgery was about 4-6 hours they told me and the surgeon would call me when it was over.  I walked them to the elevator, told him I loved him and told him he wasn't allowed to die.

2 hours and 40 minutes later my phone rang and my heart sank.  Luckily it was the surgeon telling me all went well and my husband was being wheeled into ICU as we spoke.  

Sat morning, his parents arrived around 1 am and I got a whopping 6 hours of sleep after that.  Docs and surgeon said on Sat that his numbers are doing great, his incision is healing well, and there is hope for the first time in almost a week that he may recover.  They said he will be in the hospital for weeks and weeks, but there is a strong chance we will hae a life together after that.

Will do my best to keep everyone updated!!!  Thank you all so very, very much

[Rabbittron]

2 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Hello everyone and thank you for all the prayers, energy, warm fuzzies and more.  

Friday morning came and they pushed his surgery to Friday afternoon.  The surgeon told me I had 2 choices:  1 - be passive and just keep him comfortable until the end, or 2 - do the surgery, but I should know there was an 80% chance of him dying on the table.  

I said 20% is better than 0 and I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't do everything I could.  The surgery was about 4-6 hours they told me and the surgeon would call me when it was over.  I walked them to the elevator, told him I loved him and told him he wasn't allowed to die.

2 hours and 40 minutes later my phone rang and my heart sank.  Luckily it was the surgeon telling me all went well and my husband was being wheeled into ICU as we spoke.  

Sat morning, his parents arrived around 1 am and I got a whopping 6 hours of sleep after that.  Docs and surgeon said on Sat that his numbers are doing great, his incision is healing well, and there is hope for the first time in almost a week that he may recover.  They said he will be in the hospital for weeks and weeks, but there is a strong chance we will hae a life together after that.

Will do my best to keep everyone updated!!!  Thank you all so very, very much

So glad to hear good news.

[lookeyloo]

@DragonFaerie - that is such hopeful news!  Hard decision for sure, but, seems like the right one!  I would have made that one too.  Thanks for letting us know and I'm sending lots of good vibes your way!!

[Christina87]

13 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Hello everyone and thank you for all the prayers, energy, warm fuzzies and more.  

Friday morning came and they pushed his surgery to Friday afternoon.  The surgeon told me I had 2 choices:  1 - be passive and just keep him comfortable until the end, or 2 - do the surgery, but I should know there was an 80% chance of him dying on the table.  

I said 20% is better than 0 and I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't do everything I could.  The surgery was about 4-6 hours they told me and the surgeon would call me when it was over.  I walked them to the elevator, told him I loved him and told him he wasn't allowed to die.

2 hours and 40 minutes later my phone rang and my heart sank.  Luckily it was the surgeon telling me all went well and my husband was being wheeled into ICU as we spoke.  

Sat morning, his parents arrived around 1 am and I got a whopping 6 hours of sleep after that.  Docs and surgeon said on Sat that his numbers are doing great, his incision is healing well, and there is hope for the first time in almost a week that he may recover.  They said he will be in the hospital for weeks and weeks, but there is a strong chance we will hae a life together after that.

Will do my best to keep everyone updated!!!  Thank you all so very, very much

Oh my gosh, what a hard decision! I was on the edge of my seat reading that story (though that is a bad thing! Wish the situation wasn't so dramatic). I'm glad you chose to do what you could, and I'm soooooo relieved everything seems to be going well!!! I'll be praying more than ever that he stays in the 20%!!! Sending lots of good vibes your way. Keep us updated. 

[Christina87]

46 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I know its hard, but maybe the crop of prospects on the sites isn't the best quality and you'll meet a selection of mr. might be rights other ways.  Here is a story.  Mr. lookeyloo went to graduate school with a fellow who *wouldn't* date because none of the prospects he identified were "perfect".  Of course this fellow is nice enough and very average.  He ended up going all through medical school single, no perfect enough woman.  Finally he matured enough to throw that out.  He married a very nice very average woman.  They are still married.  We speculate that he was too insecure to ask any woman out, let alone a "perfect" one.  Those fellows have their own set of issues and I am just saying it doesn't have anything to do with your weight.  If it weren't that, they'd find something else.  Look elsewhere.

I have broken up with several hairdressers.  I just didn't make a follow up appointment.  Now I get my haircut at a kids salon because all I want is a haircut and I don't need an appointment.  I try and time my visits for when school is in season and not on a school break.  I've been very lucky to most of the time walk in and then walk out.  I do have a favorite stylist.  She had a "real" career before doing this which is only 2 days a week.

Thanks so much for the encouragement! It's so hard to get stood up again and again. Part of me wonders if it was some kind of revenge. He was SO keen on meeting at first, but I told him we needed to wait a few weeks, because I was moving, and needed my weekends free to move. I feel like a reasonable person would understand that! I wasn't putting him off forever, but the last thing I needed during the stress of moving was the stress of first and second dates! He kept begging me to fit him in, and I told him that I wanted to continue to get to know him better, but he lives an hour away. I would only be moving for a few weekends of my life, so we might as well wait to meet until it's over and I have that stress behind me. I could see an immature guy doing this to give me a taste of my own medicine, but the thing is, I was being polite and respectful to him, and not avoiding him, or making dates and breaking them. I was honest and upfront that I'd like to meet him, but it would be a couple weeks. With the high percentage of immature guys out there who play games and have easily bruised egos, I could see it being what he thinks is revenge. Oh well. No big loss there! He constantly talked about how he loved that I'm tall, and it seemed like a weird fetish or something. I wasn't super thrilled about meeting him anyway, but I felt we had enough in common to at least give him a chance. It's just that being stood up KEEPS happening over and over again, and it's hard to not wonder if the problem is you!

*currently relaxing and hoping for some serendipitous meeting in the grocery store or park. Would be amazing luck, but would balance out this bad luck. 😜*

[doodlebug]

On ‎5‎/‎1‎/‎2019 at 2:15 PM, louannems said:

I\\

I have no idea if a LEEP is anything like a cryosurgery, but afterwards, I had months of discharge.  It was quite awful, really.

Also, I have never again had a bad Pap result, and to this day wondered if the Dr made the whole thing up for money.

Cryo has been almost completely replaced by LEEP for the reasons you cite.  Cryo requires 2 3minute freezes of the cervix.  While that is happening, intense cramping is common, while it is usually not a big problem with LEEP.  The discharge after a cryo is profuse and usually much heavier and lasts up to a month compared to LEEP.

Since the cure rate for abnormal Paps is 90% or so with LEEP or cryo, the vast majority of people never have another abnormal pap after the procedure is done.