Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Mindthinkr]

My mother was inconsolable during her latter stages of Alzheimer’s. She kept taking about her baby. We did get her a doll. Not a particularly life like looking ones, but it kept her from being unruly and angry. Eventually as she got worse she no longer wanted it. 

As she was in her final stages I was talking about her case with my brother (we were lucky as she was able to stay in her home with 24 hr care until she passed). She must have heard me and called out my name. It was the last word she ever spoke. Years have passed and I still think of her often. 

Edited June 3, 2019 by Mindthinkr

[Rabbittron]

Not to brag but I think I have won the internet. No matter what page of the forum I am on all I get are ads for Planned Parenthood. 

[Ohiopirate02]

I just got a new phone and all my ads are for the NYC area even though I live in NC.  I wonder if that is the default, or if my phone had a vacation in Times Square before traveling down here.  Maybe it was able to see Hamilton.

[galaxychaser]

I got ads for wedding rings and 50% off sandals 

[Jynnan tonnix]

6 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I got ads for wedding rings and 50% off sandals 

I keep getting ads for the Corcoran group, which is a real estate company which seems to specialize in places in the Hamptons  and NYC where a modest cottage/apartment will run you close to a million, and anything even close to the sort of house we have now is likely to be upwards of $2,000,000. To say nothing of a place which I might actually covet.

Ah, well...they are kind of fun to look at just so I can shake my head over how little that kind of money can get you, so I suppose that's why they keep sending me more.

[SunnyBeBe]

On 5/28/2019 at 11:27 PM, CalicoKitty said:

Well, I've had a long day today.  My 95-year-old father fell at home last night and tore up his arms and hit his head.  When I arrived to see my parents today, he was shaking and totally unresponsive.  I called 911 after he threw up all over himself, and my brother and I spent the day with him in ER and the hospital.  He has been admitted for the next three days, and will then be transferred to a skilled nursing facility.  I'm not sure if he will ever be back home.  Scans do not show any brain bleed, but his pupils are not the same size, and I'm quite sure he has had a concussion. He is in a lot of pain because of his open wounds on his arms and shoulders. Meanwhile, my 92-year-old mother has no idea what is going on.  Her dementia has been getting noticeably worse lately and she is totally confused.  My parents have had 24/7 care at home for the past year, so at least my mom has someone with her all the time, but I think if Dad is not coming home she will go down quickly.  I am so blessed to have my brother, who lives in the same town as my parents, since I live an hour away.  We are on the same page with everything regarding our parents, and we are doing everything we can.  But I doubt this will have a good outcome.  Another WWII Navy vet at the end of his life.

I"m sorry to hear of the situation with your parents.  I've been catching up over here and I saw that others have been caretakers of family members who are ill or suffer with dementia.  I just wanted to add that I called Hospice for my cousin (only 67 years old!) who I am responsible for (All other family members are dead, disabled or not interested in her anymore) about six months ago.  She is end stage dementia in a Memory Care facility and her doctor suggested it based on her decline and repeated hospital visits.  Hospice has been awesome to help with everything.  They have a team that is involved in her care throughout the week with a nurse, bath aid, social worker, etc.  They help me too and just couldn't be more helpful.  They immediately got her the right bed, wheelchair that reclines, and all supplies.  Having those extra eyes on her is such a relief.  And, I think she's actually improved since going on Hospice.  Plus, there are there to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible.  

I don't think many people realize how stressful it is to be a caretaker. 

[latetotheparty]

5 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I"m sorry to hear of the situation with your parents.  I've been catching up over here and I saw that others have been caretakers of family members who are ill or suffer with dementia.  I just wanted to add that I called Hospice for my cousin (only 67 years old!) who I am responsible for (All other family members are dead, disabled or not interested in her anymore) about six months ago.  She is end stage dementia in a Memory Care facility and her doctor suggested it based on her decline and repeated hospital visits.  Hospice has been awesome to help with everything.  They have a team that is involved in her care throughout the week with a nurse, bath aid, social worker, etc.  They help me too and just couldn't be more helpful.  They immediately got her the right bed, wheelchair that reclines, and all supplies.  Having those extra eyes on her is such a relief.  And, I think she's actually improved since going on Hospice.  Plus, there are there to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible.  

I don't think many people realize how stressful it is to be a caretaker. 

Early onset dementia is the cruelest. I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with is but very glad you’ve found a good place for her. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Yes, the place is great. It's small, privately run and must do a great job as she's stayed relatively healthy for 5 YEARS so far.  UTI's can't be avoided unfortunately, when someone is in Depends. 

Edited June 4, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Christina87]

Y'all, it is toooo hot! It's an oven outside, and the temperature is stuck at 83 degrees. It said it would cool down this evening, and I spent all day looking forward to an evening walk. It says 79 for 8:00, but I don't see it going down four degrees in fourteen minutes. Ughhhh. We southerners are prisoners in our own homes during the summer! I am so jealous of you all who live in cooler climates, and can get out and enjoy the summer. Our winter is a perfect temperature for walking, but it's hard to enjoy it during the day. 

Taking off grumpy pants now. 

ETA: does anyone here do the elliptical? I am going stir crazy and need to start exercising again! My exercise routine was abruptly cut off with the 97-degree days starting last week. My new neighborhood has a gym, and I want to go! I love to walk outside, but I have a real problem with the treadmill, because I'm one of those people that gets dizzy since it looks like I'm walking, but I'm not. The elliptical seems like it would be better, since it wouldn't feel exactly like walking. It just makes me nervous to go in there and not know what I'm doing, lol! I kind of want to try it tomorrow. 

ETA 2.0: spoiler alert: 14 minutes later, and the temperature indeed did not go down 4 degrees. Still 83! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Edited June 5, 2019 by Christina87

[Lisa418722]

I hate living in the southeast from March - November.  OK, there are a few nice days, but it stays so hot for so long.  I'm perimenopausal and I have a heart condition and my heart beats faster than most people.  So I stay hot year round.  I would love to get out for a walk, but it's just too miserable. 

[Christina87]

2 minutes ago, Lisa418722 said:

I hate living in the southeast from March - November.  OK, there are a few nice days, but it stays so hot for so long.  I'm perimenopausal and I have a heart condition and my heart beats faster than most people.  So I stay hot year round.  I would love to get out for a walk, but it's just too miserable. 

It is! It's like breathing through a dishrag, or sitting in a bowl of hot soup. And I couldn't even exercise in anything but a tank top this year until November! It's horrible. 80 degrees is my cutoff, because anything above that and I'm 100% guaranteed to come home with a migraine. That basically means exercising outdoors is impossible from May to mid October. 

[crazycatlady58]

I am with y'all about the heat. I do not have a car and most days walk to and from work ( it's only a half of a mile) this morning I left the house at 9:00 83°with 78% humidity equals a feels like temp of 90°. I keep wet wipes and deodorant at work so I don't smell. I hate our summers but our winters ( or lack thereof) more than make up for the heat. 

[galaxychaser]

5 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Y'all, it is toooo hot! It's an oven outside, and the temperature is stuck at 83 degrees. It said it would cool down this evening, and I spent all day looking forward to an evening walk. It says 79 for 8:00, but I don't see it going down four degrees in fourteen minutes. Ughhhh. We southerners are prisoners in our own homes during the summer! I am so jealous of you all who live in cooler climates, and can get out and enjoy the summer. Our winter is a perfect temperature for walking, but it's hard to enjoy it during the day. 

Taking off grumpy pants now. 

ETA: does anyone here do the elliptical? I am going stir crazy and need to start exercising again! My exercise routine was abruptly cut off with the 97-degree days starting last week. My new neighborhood has a gym, and I want to go! I love to walk outside, but I have a real problem with the treadmill, because I'm one of those people that gets dizzy since it looks like I'm walking, but I'm not. The elliptical seems like it would be better, since it wouldn't feel exactly like walking. It just makes me nervous to go in there and not know what I'm doing, lol! I kind of want to try it tomorrow. 

ETA 2.0: spoiler alert: 14 minutes later, and the temperature indeed did not go down 4 degrees. Still 83! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m clumsy too. I’m afraid to fall off the treadmill and the elliptical. I use the bike. Can’t fall off that haha.

[Marigold]

18 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Y

ETA: does anyone here do the elliptical? I am going stir crazy and need to start exercising again! My exercise routine was abruptly cut off with the 97-degree days starting last week. My new neighborhood has a gym, and I want to go! I love to walk outside, but I have a real problem with the treadmill, because I'm one of those people that gets dizzy since it looks like I'm walking, but I'm not. The elliptical seems like it would be better, since it wouldn't feel exactly like walking. It just makes me nervous to go in there and not know what I'm doing, lol! I kind of want to try it tomorrow. 

ETA 2.0: spoiler alert: 14 minutes later, and the temperature indeed did not go down 4 degrees. Still 83! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I do the elliptical and I prefer it to the treadmill because it is easier on my joints and is a better workout for me. 

It was very hard for me to get coordinated on the thing. I would closely watch someone get on the thing or ask for help.  My teen son helped me or I'm not sure I would've gotten moving on my own! I'm super clumsy though. I love the elliptical now and have been doing it for a few years after years on the treadmill. I will never go back. 

[PikaScrewChu]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

I do the elliptical and I prefer it to the treadmill because it is easier on my joints and is a better workout for me. 

It was very hard for me to get coordinated on the thing. I would closely watch someone get on the thing or ask for help.  My teen son helped me or I'm not sure I would've gotten moving on my own! I'm super clumsy though. I love the elliptical now and have been doing it for a few years after years on the treadmill. I will never go back. 

Yeah the elliptical is much better for your joints than the treadmill.

It all depends on what you want to get out of it. Are you just wanting to exercise? The switch is a little bit of a brain teaser but doesn't take very long. If you're looking to actually run and get the feeling of running then stick to the treadmill.

I wanted to start running again but I don't think my body is built for it. I've been doing barre and TRX for the past several years instead. Unfortunately I know those can be cost prohibitive but I highly recommend TRX to people if they can find a beginner/low intensity class to start off with.

[SunnyBeBe]

I used to run a lot on the treadmill, as part of my routine.   It was actually something that I enjoyed a lot. I ran to my own programmed music. (I can't do distance.  I could never do more than 5 miles, normally just 3.)  I'd get off and then do a couple of miles on the bike, about 10 minutes on the elliptical, then a round of weights, and lastly a LOT of crunches.  But, years and injuries have given me an excuse to not do it, but, I MUST return to cardio work.  I just saw ortho doctor about my knee injury last week and good news, it doesn't appear to be anything serious.  So, as soon as I get my therapy, I'm returning to some sort of program, though, not as intense as before.  I know that I need non-impact, but, I just love running.  I may try to fast walk and see how that goes.  

[Jeeves]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

Crafts, Pinterest, Joanna Gaines, Hobby Lobby - you can't turn around in some regions without getting hit on the butt by a stupid sign. Stenciled on the wall, painted on a board, burned into wood, whatever. Flowing cursive, cutesy block lettering, or fancy font. 

And I mean stupid: "Home." "Joy." "Hope." And the really stupid stuff like, you know, labeling the wall with the purpose of the room. I swear, I have seen "kitchen" and "food" signs. 

One of these days, I swear, I'm gonna stencil "Turds" in a pretty flowing cursive in an attractive pastel - on the wall above the toilet. 

Okay, I'm bringing this over from the Lonely J's topic. I posted that ^^ about stupid signs used as home decor. I blame Joanna Gaines for this phenomenon, but I'm sure she's not alone in creating this craziness.

I feel that I should admit that I actually have a stupid sign in my bathroom. It's not aspirational or inspirational or sappy, though. It's not up on the wall at the moment, but soon to be (repainting is pending). I bought it in the night market in Chiang Mai, Thailand, ten years ago. I loved Thailand. I learned that Thais call the toilet room the "happy room." I was always happy to find a "Western style happy room" (as our tour guide called them) which meant *not* a squat toilet. 

So, here's my stupid bathroom sign which, cheap souvenir and all, I treasure. By rights it should be on the door, but I've put it on the wall:

Edited June 6, 2019 by Jeeves

[SunnyBeBe]

Jeeves, that's adorable!  I'd display that proudly.  What a treasure. 

Edited June 6, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Christina87]

Colposcopy done!!! @doodlebug was right...it wasn't too bad! The biopsy wasn't even unpleasant, and I ended up bleeding, but they were able to stop it. So relieved that is over, and nowhere as scary as I expected! Now just waiting for the results. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive! It really wasn't toooo different from a normal Pap smear. 

[ehall1052]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

So, here's my stupid bathroom sign which, cheap souvenir and all, I treasure.

In my bathroom, I have a picture of a really rough-looking outhouse (complete with a crescent moon on the door) done by a very famous photographer from Georgia.

[Mindthinkr]

Here’s a photo of the picture in my guest bathroom. 

The photo isn’t good but there is an “e” on the end of nice. 

Edited June 6, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Added a comment.

[SunnyBeBe]

17 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Here’s a photo of the picture in my guest bathroom. 

The photo isn’t good but there is an “e” on the end of nice. 

This would really be funny in my house.  lol  I guess everyone has their family dysfunctions though. 

[Mindthinkr]

7 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

This would really be funny in my house.  lol  I guess everyone has their family dysfunctions though. 

My neice gave it to me. I had made a unkind comment about her daughter. I apologized. This was my family’s subtle way of saying that I was wrong and not to repeat the offense. Now I only like to say good things about anyone (unless I’m snarking on one of these threads). 

[SunnyBeBe]

Personally, I think more things need to be said sometimes.  Swallowing up the truth has a way of creating resentment and enabling poor behavior.  JMO. 

[louannems]

On 5/26/2019 at 9:08 PM, DragonFaerie said:

Ok, um, I'm losing what day of the week it is lately.  Averaging a good 10-11 hours a day at the hospital.  So.  No dialysis over the weekend. Scheduled for Monday.  WBC is bouncing between 23,00-25,000 but no one is panicking.  Blue dye test yesterday had NO DYE coming out in about 36 hours through the drains!!!!  Ice Chips have been taken off his menu - trying to make absolutely sure nothing will interfere with the leak healing.  He now scowls at Dr. Baggs who ordered that.  Today, the bandage where the left drain comes out starting leaking.  Dr. Baggs came in and checked it.  He thinks there may be a clog in the drain.  So we're just going to keep the bandage changed well.  He tried to pull out any gunk in the drain and did get some.  But for now, it's slow healing and go as we have.  No surgery.  No one wants surgery, so that's good.  He was alert and interactive today.  BP doing well, no fever, just exhausted.  He and I have planned a lot of leg and arm work for next week.  But I think it was good to have 2 days off from any scans and dialysis. Meanwhile I'm not sure which way is up anymore.  Yawn.  

DragonFaerie,  it's been awhile since your last update.  Hopefully, DH is back at home now and you're busy nursing him back to health!

About the elliptical.  After many years of hard walking up and down hills, 6 days a week in rain or shine, I now have lots of osteoarthritis in both hip joints. 

My physical therapist recommended the elliptical as it's so easy on the joints. At first, the sheer boredom of being inside on a machine meant I couldn't even force myself to stay on 5 minutes!  But now, I rather like it.  I just zone out and stare at whatever time channel is on at gym.

I much prefer outside walking and live in a really temperate climate (Seattle) and with gortex, rain is no problem for me.  So I alternate.

[SunnyBeBe]

It's way to hot around (NC) here to do much cardio outside at this time of year.  I suppose I could get out at 5:00 a.m., but, come on.....I won't do that. lol   I am thinking about an elliptical though.  I can fight the boredom pretty well with music.  Here's one of my favorite work out songs.  

[ehall1052]

1 hour ago, louannems said:

After many years of hard walking up and down hills, 6 days a week in rain or shine, I now have lots of osteoarthritis in both hip joints. 

Me too!!!   Just proves that exercise will kill you. I had stem cells injected in my hip because I do not want a hip replacement. They feel much better now.

[galaxychaser]

Rob Kardashian has a new clothing line. It’s expensive and a few pieces are hideous 

https://www.halfway-dead.com/

[ginger90]

Discussion in a different thread made me think of an episode years ago, I think the show was called, Messiest Homes in America? One couple they featured had a small closet they didn’t use, crap was everywhere else in the house. The closet served as the cat’s litter box. They actually showed  it, 🤢. It was deep with poop. Just about everything had some meaning and could not be ditched. Considering the people signed up for the show, they were so arrogant.

Looked it up, it was in 2008. No closet litter box pictures, ( even I wouldn’t post that!!) but this was the kitchen.

[BetyBee]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Discussion in a different thread made me think of an episode years ago, I think the show was called, Messiest Homes in America? One couple they featured had a small closet they didn’t use, crap was everywhere else in the house. The closet served as the cat’s litter box. They actually showed  it, 🤢. It was deep with poop. Just about everything had some meaning and could not be ditched. Considering the people signed up for the show, they were so arrogant.

Looked it up, it was in 2008. No closet litter box pictures, ( even I wouldn’t post that!!) but this was the kitchen.

If I remember correctly, their names were Phil & Mindy.  I remember that closet.  And that they had trouble parting with their crap.  And their kitchen was super cute when it was finished.  I doubt that they cared for it  afterwards.  

[DragonFaerie]

Just wanted everyone to know, they told us last week that the doctors box of tricks was empty.  Attempting to drain fluid of of Mr. Dragon's lungs or doing more dialysis would send him into a cardiac arrest.  I brought him home with hospice on this past Friday, May 31 with weeks according to the doctors.  His parents and siblings arrived Friday night and saw him.  Then he and I and a friend that helped me prep the room for him and get him settled in.  We laughed and joked and watched tv.  Then it was just he and I and we talked about so many things and it was wonderful.  He passed to the Summerland Sunday, June 2nd, at 2:07 pm - a shock to us all.  

[zoomama]

1 minute ago, DragonFaerie said:

Just wanted everyone to know, they told us last week that the doctors box of tricks was empty.  Attempting to drain fluid of of Mr. Dragon's lungs or doing more dialysis would send him into a cardiac arrest.  I brought him home with hospice on this past Friday, May 31 with weeks according to the doctors.  His parents and siblings arrived Friday night and saw him.  Then he and I and a friend that helped me prep the room for him and get him settled in.  We laughed and joked and watched tv.  Then it was just he and I and we talked about so many things and it was wonderful.  He passed to the Summerland Sunday, June 2nd, at 2:07 pm - a shock to us all.  

omgosh! i am so sorry for the turnaround.  although i know you must be devastated, i am thankful he didnt linger and suffer. oh my heart breaks for you. (((dragonfaerie))))

[crazycatlady58]

8 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Just wanted everyone to know, they told us last week that the doctors box of tricks was empty.  Attempting to drain fluid of of Mr. Dragon's lungs or doing more dialysis would send him into a cardiac arrest.  I brought him home with hospice on this past Friday, May 31 with weeks according to the doctors.  His parents and siblings arrived Friday night and saw him.  Then he and I and a friend that helped me prep the room for him and get him settled in.  We laughed and joked and watched tv.  Then it was just he and I and we talked about so many things and it was wonderful.  He passed to the Summerland Sunday, June 2nd, at 2:07 pm - a shock to us all.  

I am so sorry DragonFaerie. May his memory be eternal. Hugs.

[Jeeves]

Oh, @DragonFaerie, I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t have the words. Yes we are strangers who talk online but we’re all real people and we feel for each other. 

[Olliesmom]

24 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Just wanted everyone to know, they told us last week that the doctors box of tricks was empty.  Attempting to drain fluid of of Mr. Dragon's lungs or doing more dialysis would send him into a cardiac arrest.  I brought him home with hospice on this past Friday, May 31 with weeks according to the doctors.  His parents and siblings arrived Friday night and saw him.  Then he and I and a friend that helped me prep the room for him and get him settled in.  We laughed and joked and watched tv.  Then it was just he and I and we talked about so many things and it was wonderful.  He passed to the Summerland Sunday, June 2nd, at 2:07 pm - a shock to us all.  

Dragonfaerie, there are no words to say that can express how very sorry I am for your loss.  You are in my prayers. Stay strong. 

[Love2dance]

@DragonFaerie, I am so terribly sorry and sad to hear your news. Please know love and heartfelt sympathy are coming your way. May your wonderful memories console you during this time.

[MargeGunderson]

Oh, @DragonFaerie, I’m so sorry. You are in my thoughts. I hope that your happy memories of him and your life together are a source of comfort to you. 

[awaken]

@DragonFaerie, just so sorry and shocked to hear this news. I’m glad you let us know, and we’ll be thinking of you. 

[Sew Sumi]

@DragonFaerie, I am so sorry to hear your news. Sending gentle hugs. 

[jjane]

Oh @DragonFaerie, I'm so sorry. I've mostly been lurking lately but I have been following your story. This is such sad news. Please know that those of us here hold you in our hearts and wish you peace at this time. Hold on to the good memories and feel free to talk to people about him, either in real life or here with us. Virtual hugs and much love coming your way.

[emma675]

DragonFaerie, there are no words. I hope you are surrounded by friends, family, and love in your real life as you are in here. I'm sending peace, comfort, and warmth your way.

[On the Bias]

Holding you close in my thoughts, @DragonFaerie.   I'm so sorry for your terrible loss.  

[mynextmistake]

13 hours ago, Christina87 said:

That would be my sister! Her apartment was always FILTHY, bordering on a hoarding situation. She just moved into a house, and I hope to God she can keep it clean. I just don't get that! How can you live with that level of filth and clutter constantly? I also wonder how it affects her dating life, because she will have to find another person with zero cleanliness standards to accept that. Even guys who don't believe in traditional gender roles will certainly balk at a woman who lives in filth!

I mean, I don’t know your sister, but it’s possible that her decisions aren’t all made on the basis of how they’ll affect her dating life? It’s kind of off-putting to see an adult woman’s housekeeping standards being criticized because they make it less likely that she’ll land a man. That kind of thinking is really not very different from the sexist attitudes we criticize the Duggars for having. 

[ginger90]

@DragonFaerie so very sorry. You are in my thoughts. 

[GeeGolly]

I only check in here rarely and miss a lot of posts...

@DragonFaerie, please accept my condolences. Sending thoughts of peace and healing your way. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this, @DragonFaerie… We have all been pulling for him, but still always apprehensive when I see a post from you lest the news be bad. As others have said far better than I could, we are a community here, and honestly feel and care for each other, and I know your news has saddened all of us. Stay strong, and cherish the time you had left together.

Edited June 9, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[lookeyloo]

Oh @DragonFaerie - so very sorry to hear.  

[Barb23]

@DragonFaerie I'm so sorry.  I'm glad you two had that special time together at the end & that it may give you comfort in the days ahead.  We are here for you. 

[Mindthinkr]

@DragonFaerie I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I will plant a flower in his honor later today and will think of him every time it blooms. Condolences from me and purrs from the Mindthinkr kitties. 🌺

[Madtown]

@DragonFaerie,  I don't post here much at all, but read this thread every day and have kept up with your posts. I'm so very sorry for your loss and send you warm hugs and will be thinking of you in your time of healing.