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On the Bias

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  1. @crazycatlady58, I’m so sorry about your cat. Sparing someone’s suffering is always the right thing. I still have dreams about Pim, my smiling orange boy, the cat of my heart. It’s been fifteen years.
  2. @lookeyloo, in the weeks or months before people close to me died, and in the weeks afterwards, I felt as though I were in a kind of tunnel. It was not a time to focus on my own feelings, but instead a time to help the other person live and then die, and afterwards a time to bury myself in all of the administrative and other work that follows a death. Only after I emerged from that tunnel did I begin to touch with my fingertips the edges of the yawning hole where that person should still have been. If that’s where you are now, if that’s how you feel, there are really no words, only tenderness, which I hope surrounds you and which, like so many on this site, I send you, with all my sympathy, over the ether.
  3. I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking loss, @lookeyloo. You and sweet son and his husband and brother are very much in my thoughts.
  4. Hey, beet haters, send them all to me. In return I’ll send you every last zucchini on the planet, those things taste like decay. In fact, I think the entire squash family is a mistake.
  5. @Churchhoney, “O Where Are You Going?” has been a touchstone for me since I first read it at the age of sixteen. On topic, Jer thinks that Esterbrook pens are the coveted ones? Excuse me while I laugh my fountain pen obsessed head off. Although I don’t mean to slag on Esterbrooks, they’re nice enough, they’re unpretentious tools. As opposed to Jer, who’s a pretentious one.
  6. Holding you and sweet son very, very close, @lookeyloo.
  7. @lookeyloo, closed my eyes at noon my time and again at noon your time; summoned up calm and healing and release from pain. Hoping the procedure that he endured this morning will bring him relief.
  8. I’m in. I’ll do noon my time and noon EST.
  9. What a beautiful idea. Lookey, I’ve been holding you and your son close. Perhaps it will be of some small comfort to know that so many of us are keeping you very present.
  10. @Happyfatchick, thank you for what you have written. My background could not be more different from yours, but I too believe profoundly in Jill’s capacity for change. I’m sure that these last few years have been more terrifying than exhilarating for her; I imagine that she must often have felt as though she’d stepped into a void. Yet here she is now, living a life that is perhaps all the proof she needs that there is a different way to be, that it is good, and that she can find it.
  11. I’m so, so sorry, @Scarlett45. It hurts so much to see someone you love begin to fade away before your eyes.
  12. Henry’s t-shirt says “Free Range.” The last thing he, or any of them, will ever be.
  13. @zoomama, that sounds very anxiety-producing. I’m so sorry. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.
  14. @Jynnan tonnix, I was sad to read about what should have been such a pleasant evening. From what you've said in the past, Mr. Jyn has an iron core of integrity, but, if you'll forgive me, it also sounds as though he has an iron core generally. I know from experience how hard that can be to live with. I hope that he becomes better able to see you and all that you are despite the vision-distorting calamity in which we are all engulfed. I hope, as well, that your daughter is feeling less anxious and isolated these days. Here in Spain, case numbers are climbing again, although they are nothing like what I read about in the U.S. Still, of everyone alive in my region of Spain at the beginning of March, one out of every 595 of us has died of Covid-19. Our regional government has asked us all to stay home as much as possible, so that's what Best Beloved and I are doing, and every day we try to remind ourselves of how thankful we are that we and those we love are alive and well.
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