Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

That's really interesting! Since this is the only place I've lived, I don't have that perspective. It makes sense, though. Most women I know are very serious about keeping a nice home!

Although NOLA has a unique cultural history it’s still very much “the south”, during my years there I made note of all this focus on homemaking that I had never seen before. Granted I must admit Chicago has a unique cultural history that’s not exactly like the rest of the midwest, but the homemaking/hostess thing is very much a regional cultural attribute. Not that it’s bad! (Not saying that), just different. 

[Ohiopirate02]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I saw this kind of weird gendered thing so much in the college dorms! All of the girls were trying to one up each other on cleaning, like the way they had learned was the ONLY way, and it was their duty to educate everyone else! I've always been a neat person, and a good cleaner, but I'll never forget freshman year, when my suitmate had a FIT about how "filthy" our bathroom was! Four girls shared it, and it was a teeeeeny space, with just room for a toilet and small shower. She pulled us all in there to see the "filth," and honestly, it looked fine. Then, she INSISTED that we had to go out and buy a Swiffer mop, for that space that probably wasn't even two square yards! She said if we pitched in and bought it, she would use it. It took until senior year to not have any suitmates who were holier than thou cleaners...and then, I ended up with total slobs, lol! All of the girls like this were just very bossy people in general, anyway. I was more than happy to do my share of the cleaning, but I didn't appreciate the condescending attitudes of these self-appointed experts. It HAS to be a gendered thing, because you would never see this in a boys dorm!!!

I would have liked this better than my roommate my sophomore year.  She did not wash a dish for the entire spring semester.   She literately did not wash a single dish from January until May.  She would steal dishes and silverware from the dining hall instead of washing her dishes.  I have no idea what she ended up doing with the dining hall dishes when we moved out.  I noped out of there as quickly as i could.  I should also mention this slovenly thief was a Christian.  She was involved in a cult-like campus group called Campus Crusade for Christ.  

[Christina87]

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would have liked this better than my roommate my sophomore year.  She did not wash a dish for the entire spring semester.   She literately did not wash a single dish from January until May.  She would steal dishes and silverware from the dining hall instead of washing her dishes.  I have no idea what she ended up doing with the dining hall dishes when we moved out.  I noped out of there as quickly as i could.  I should also mention this slovenly thief was a Christian.  She was involved in a cult-like campus group called Campus Crusade for Christ.  

Hahahaha we had Campus Crusade at my school, too!!! I went to a couple meetings before deciding it was creepy and cult-like. Probably the worst part was this girl they employed who was young, hot, and a valley girl, who would pretend to be your friend to keep you entrenched in the cult. She wasn't even the leader; she just kind of hung around!!! She was also EXTREMELY fake, and it was just kind of disturbing to see someone who was probably 25 pandering to eighteen-year-olds. Also, the group had a very wealthy local man who would host pool parties, and he got arrested for majorly ripping off his clients! I think he got a LONG sentence!

i had the slob roommates my last year, unfortunately. There were three of them, and they were music friends, but they were all super close and I was just kind of the fourth person. I thought it would be awesome to live with them because they were friends, but nope! They were filthy, especially with food! They'd use something once and then just leave it on the counter. I can't tell you how many Velveeta cheese blocks they'd use a small piece of, and then leave on the counter to rot! It got so bad that there was no counter space because of their crap. They'd also cook once in a while, using my dishes, and just leave all of the contents out for a week or more!! I was careful to never even try a bite, so they couldn't claim I was part of the meal and try to make me clean their mess, but they still would! And the pizzas...they would order a pizza and leave it out for a week plus, once right in front of my bedroom door!!! It was soooo gross!!! YUCK!!! I kept my personal bedroom as clean as I possibly could, so people who came over would see that I wasn't the problem! Ugh...that was so disgusting!

[Chicklet]

Oh Campus Crusade now goes by "CRU" which as we all know is hipper than heck and will attract clueless college students who will sign up and become mindless robots for Jesus.

My mother now yearly hosts a friend's kid who is in the cult and she knows it's a cult, "but he's soo nice". I keep asking her exactly what he does for this group but she keeps forgetting to ask.

[Ohiopirate02]

59 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Oh Campus Crusade now goes by "CRU" which as we all know is hipper than heck and will attract clueless college students who will sign up and become mindless robots for Jesus.

My mother now yearly hosts a friend's kid who is in the cult and she knows it's a cult, "but he's soo nice". I keep asking her exactly what he does for this group but she keeps forgetting to ask.

I wonder if they still spend their summers witnessing on the beach.  They group my roommate was involved with would go to Myrtle Beach.

[Zella]

My college roommate was a slob, too. I'm not a neat freak, but she seriously grossed me out. I later discovered she didn't wash her dishes and just stacked them in her desk for MONTHS. She also wouldn't wash her clothes for months and just had a tremendous wardrobe of dirty laundry that she kept stowed away. We remained friends, but I have always refused to visit her at her home. I don't even want to know what the house she and her husband, whom I suspect is even grosser, looks like. 

We had a filthy suitemate too who once, I shit you all not, left a trail of her dirty clothes all through the floor of the shared bathroom, including her dirty underwear. It stayed on the floor for over a day. I think she must have heard me screaming and swearing about it one night because it was gone the next morning.

And now that I have vented about that, yes, I agree with the above speculation about the emphasis put on entertaining at home down South, though it never occurred to me. It's not my preference because I'm an introvert--i like to cook but would rather feed people elsewhere lol--but I know a lot of Southern women my age who do still put a big priority on that. And of course for older women, like my grandmother, it's very, very important to them. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by Zella

[galaxychaser]

Man I love reading these. 

I never lived in a dorm or had a roommate.

[Zella]

33 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Man I love reading these. 

I never lived in a dorm or had a roommate.

Terrible roommates are best experienced vicariously! 😄 I always love hearing other people's terrible roommate stories, too. 

I had exactly 2 roommates in college. The first one I barely spoke to. She was okay, but we had nothing in common. She was also never in the room. Then the second one was the one who had slob issues, though we did at least get along.

Once I graduated from college, I vowed I would never again have another roommate, though! In grad school, some people hinted about rooming together to cut costs, and I always made excuses. Fortunately, rent is very reasonable in Fayetteville, and I was able to find a 1 bedroom apartment that I could afford without needing someone to split costs. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by Zella

[awaken]

4 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Oh Campus Crusade now goes by "CRU" which as we all know is hipper than heck and will attract clueless college students who will sign up and become mindless robots for Jesus.

My mother now yearly hosts a friend's kid who is in the cult and she knows it's a cult, "but he's soo nice". I keep asking her exactly what he does for this group but she keeps forgetting to ask.

Ha. Spent lots of time with campus crusade and witnessing in beach towns over the summer!  

[Ohiopirate02]

I should also point out that I was not the best roommate that year either.  I has to live with Annoying Christian Girl and I did enjoy messing with her.  I has a subscription to Cosmo and my friend and I would lounge around on my side of the room critiquing the articles sometimes rather loudly.  I never brought any guys home though.  I knew that would have taken things too far.

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I should also point out that I was not the best roommate that year either.  I has to live with Annoying Christian Girl and I did enjoy messing with her.  I has a subscription to Cosmo and my friend and I would lounge around on my side of the room critiquing the articles sometimes rather loudly.  I never brought any guys home though.  I knew that would have taken things too far.

I would pretend to not know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek to torment my second roomie, the one I'm still friends with.

So, she'd have on Trek, and I'd ask, "When's Darth Vader showing up?" or she'd be watching Star Wars, and I'd ask her if Chewbacca was Spock. And every time, she'd literally howl in anguish at my ignorance and then frantically try to explain them to me. "THAT is Star WARS--THIS is Star TREK!" or vice versa. 

She never caught on that I was doing this intentionally, over the course of 3 years. 😂

Edited October 15, 2019 by Zella

[SunnyBeBe]

7 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Although NOLA has a unique cultural history it’s still very much “the south”, during my years there I made note of all this focus on homemaking that I had never seen before. Granted I must admit Chicago has a unique cultural history that’s not exactly like the rest of the midwest, but the homemaking/hostess thing is very much a regional cultural attribute. Not that it’s bad! (Not saying that), just different. 

I'm from the southeast (NC) and I agree. It's very important to be able to cook, entertain, manage household well, etc. I enjoy it though.

Happy Belated birthday to all the October babies!! 

I had accupuncture for the first time this weekend. Has anyone else tried it? I'd like to compare some things. It was very amusing.

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

My college roommate was a slob, too. I'm not a neat freak, but she seriously grossed me out. I later discovered she didn't wash her dishes and just stacked them in her desk for MONTHS. She also wouldn't wash her clothes for months and just had a tremendous wardrobe of dirty laundry that she kept stowed away. We remained friends, but I have always refused to visit her at her home. I don't even want to know what the house she and her husband, whom I suspect is even grosser, looks like. 

We had a filthy suitemate too who once, I shit you all not, left a trail of her dirty clothes all through the floor of the shared bathroom, including her dirty underwear. It stayed on the floor for over a day. I think she must have heard me screaming and swearing about it one night because it was gone the next morning.

And now that I have vented about that, yes, I agree with the above speculation about the emphasis put on entertaining at home down South, though it never occurred to me. It's not my preference because I'm an introvert--i like to cook but would rather feed people elsewhere lol--but I know a lot of Southern women my age who do still put a big priority on that. And of course for older women, like my grandmother, it's very, very important to them. 

I guess I lucked out.  My freshman year, I was in a dorm room with 3 others. I am still close with 2 of the 3 more than 44 years later.  I was the slob of the 3 of us, although I never left food out or dirty clothes lying around.  One of my room mates was a little OCD about cleaning though, insisting everything needed dusted/vacuumed once a week even though we were hardly there.  I'd been raised to clean when things needed cleaning, not on a schedule, so we had her draw up a chart of things that she felt needed doing weekly and we took turns.

Our 4th room mate was born again and quite odd.  She'd led a very sheltered life in a very small town and immediately joined some sort of evangelical church.  The other 3 of us were Catholics, went to church most Sundays, but were more mainstream.  Once, we were sitting around studying and one of my roommates told a joke that was very funny but also pretty crude.  L, bent over double, clutching her stomach and groaning.  When we asked what was wrong, 'When you are as close to Jesus as I am, you feel His pain'.  Oh, ok.  She also couldn't resist snide remarks about Catholics worshiping statues, etc.  Her church believed in speaking in tongues, and, she told us she did so while praying fairly frequently and that she was sure it was an Asian Indian dialect.  She had never actually heard one, of course.  We slept in a single bedroom with bunks.  Once, one of my room mates went to sleep early, only to awaken to the sound of L groaning and babbling in tongues intersperses with 'Oh, Jesus, Oh Jesus'; she said that she was sure Charles Manson was going to pop out with a knife at any moment.  At the end of the year, we suggested that L might be more comfortable with different room mates.  Well, she was used to being around people who didn't know the Lord like she did and she doubted she could actually find people who were as devout as her.  We told her to give it a try anyway.

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I guess I lucked out.  My freshman year, I was in a dorm room with 3 others. I am still close with 2 of the 3 more than 44 years later.  I was the slob of the 3 of us, although I never left food out or dirty clothes lying around.  One of my room mates was a little OCD about cleaning though, insisting everything needed dusted/vacuumed once a week even though we were hardly there.  I'd been raised to clean when things needed cleaning, not on a schedule, so we had her draw up a chart of things that she felt needed doing weekly and we took turns.

Our 4th room mate was born again and quite odd.  She'd led a very sheltered life in a very small town and immediately joined some sort of evangelical church.  The other 3 of us were Catholics, went to church most Sundays, but were more mainstream.  Once, we were sitting around studying and one of my roommates told a joke that was very funny but also pretty crude.  L, bent over double, clutching her stomach and groaning.  When we asked what was wrong, 'When you are as close to Jesus as I am, you feel His pain'.  Oh, ok.  She also couldn't resist snide remarks about Catholics worshiping statues, etc.  Her church believed in speaking in tongues, and, she told us she did so while praying fairly frequently and that she was sure it was an Asian Indian dialect.  She had never actually heard one, of course.  We slept in a single bedroom with bunks.  Once, one of my room mates went to sleep early, only to awaken to the sound of L groaning and babbling in tongues intersperses with 'Oh, Jesus, Oh Jesus'; she said that she was sure Charles Manson was going to pop out with a knife at any moment.  At the end of the year, we suggested that L might be more comfortable with different room mates.  Well, she was used to being around people who didn't know the Lord like she did and she doubted she could actually find people who were as devout as her.  We told her to give it a try anyway.

I cracked up about the groaning she did over a dirty joke. What a killjoy!

When I was at College of the Ozarks, which is rife with intense, holier than thou fundies, I used to pretend to be offended by random, completely innocuous things they had said. I would tell them what they said was very dirty and offensive to me and they would think about it for awhile and then come back to me with the most imaginatively pornographic interpretation of how their comment could have been misinterpreted. And they would apologize!

It was hilarious, and none of them would ever call me out and tell me I was the one with the dirty mind for thinking what they said was offensive. 

[galaxychaser]

I now hate Cosmo. They got rid of all the sections I liked. Embarrassing confessions, dates from hell, ask questions for an expert, bitch it out. 

Now I toss it without opening it. 

[Rabbittron]

Got a question why is it that your work week goes slow but your 2 days off goes fast?

[sixlets]

20 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I had acupuncture for the first time this weekend. Has anyone else tried it? I'd like to compare some things. It was very amusing.

I went one time in a last-ditch effort to control my pain in 2009.  I will *never* do it again.  Not only did it intensify my pain, I ended up with a migraine that put me in bed for 3 days.  I didn't care about the back pain once that migraine hit.  It was awful.  I know some people swear by it, but I can safely say, without a doubt, it is not for me.

[lookeyloo]

I have had successful acupuncture several time - so has Mr lookeyloo. I would do it again if I needed it. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Omg, such different experiences with accupuncture.  I didn't feel anything negative afterwards. I did find the needles rather painful at first. I hadn't expected that.  I'm not sure it helped. I was told that results would be modest, if any at all.  I have another appointment this Sat. Supposedly, I am damp.....learning to combat my dampness. Lol

Edited October 16, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Rescue Mama]

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm new here and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Rescue Mama

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm new here and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

Oh I am so sorry to hear that! But please don't think that you have to earn the right to vent or talk in this thread. It's a wonderfully supportive group, and everyone here will have your back if you need a place to come talk. You'll be in my thoughts! 

[SunnyBeBe]

1 minute ago, Rescue Mama said:

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm nee Herr and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

You certainly do deserve to get support. That news must have been so shocking. My goodness. I hope they offered you some options.  I know that all here will support you.  Do you feel you can share the news with your family or friends?  In your own time that is. A virtual hug to you. Take care and let us know how you're doing.

[Chicklet]

6 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm new here and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

Very scary I can imagine, but everyone is very supportive here. Medicine is doing amazing things with patients with lung cancer and hopefully you will find a provider you like and one that can do the best for you. And I'm sure your family will be supportive.

[Absolom]

I am so sorry!  

I hope you can tell your family soon if they will be helpful and supportive.  I have only one piece of advice, if at all possible get a second opinion on treatment from the highest ranked national cancer center that you can.  The survival rates vary tremendously from hospital to hospital.  

[wilsie]

42 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm new here and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

These are the best people you can imagine to vent your problem to.  So very kind and compassionate.  I hope you're getting good care and it's been caught really early.  

[Catfin]

47 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Omg, such different experiences with accupuncture.  I didn't feel anything negative afterwards. I did find the needles rather painful at first. I hadn't expected that.  I'm not sure it helped. I was told that results would be modest, if any at all.  I have another appointment this Sat. Supposedly, I am damp.....learning to combat my dampness. Lol

When I was in college, I worked at a chiropractic clinic. There were several young interns there who would play practical jokes on us. One memorable time they had electrical pulse set up on acupuncture needles on a larger person’s lower back/buttock line. The pulse was such that the rather uh, generous buttocks were pulsing with alternating current in the most surprising way. One intern called me in under the guise of providing some equipment. It was all I could do not to howl with laughter since I’m truly a twelve-year-old boy inside. Hipaa be damned!

[Totally]

Rescue Mamma you DO deserve support and I hope you can get support from those close to you without judgement 

No one deserves cancer, don’t blame yourself 

It’s early days and it must be overwhelming for you but try remember to ask for contacts to organisations that can support you through this time 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Rescue Mama said:

I'm sorry for this,  I know that I'm new here and don't deserve any support but I have to get something off my chest. 

I haven't told my family  but I really need to tell somebody.. 

I quit smoking on July 24th,  was feeling good but yesterday I was diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

I’m so sorry!!!

We are here for you. 

[pinkie]

Rescue Mama: I’m so sorry that u’ve had such a terrible shock. I hope you will lean on us anytime u need to! (Huge hug)

[Rescue Mama]

Thank you all so much. My kids are coming over tomorrow and I'll yell them then. 

Thanks again.  I honestly don't think its really hit me yet.  

[galaxychaser]

https://www.straitstimes.com/world/europe/dutch-police-discover-family-locked-away-for-years-on-farm-waiting-for-the-end-of-time?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_campaign=sttw&utm_medium=social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1571155986

[BetyBee]

@Rescue Mama, good for you for quitting smoking!  I'm very sorry for your diagnosis.  My sister had lung cancer 2 years ago and is doing very well now.  It was a long road, but you can do this and we will all be there to support you (which you do so deserve!).  Keep us posted.  Hugs!  

Edited October 16, 2019 by BetyBee

[Mindthinkr]

7 hours ago, Rescue Mama said:

Thank you all so much. My kids are coming over tomorrow and I'll yell them then. 

Thanks again.  I honestly don't think its really hit me yet.  

I am truly sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It takes time to digest such a shock. I agree with Absolom about getting a second opinion. Different places offer different treatment options and you need to find the one that will work best for you. In the meantime we are here to support you and virtually hold you hand and pray for you. Try to keep a positive outlook moving forward. I’m sure it’s scary and all the information coming at you can be confusing or intimidating. Just sort through it all one thing at a time. Sending you a virtual hug and purrs from the Mindthinkr kitties. 

[Barb23]

17 hours ago, Rabbittron said:

Got a question why is it that your work week goes slow but your 2 days off goes fast?

I still feel this way even tho I left the working world early on disability.  All my days are basically the same but for some reason my Saturdays still fly by quickly.

14 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I have had successful acupuncture several time - so has Mr lookeyloo. I would do it again if I needed it. 

Mr. Barb found relief with acupuncture.  He even did the cupping thing that became popular with the swimmers in the Olympics.  He only stopped because it wasn't covered under his new insurance plan.  I worked with a gal that found relief with acupuncture for her migraines when she was pregnant since she wasn't able to take her regular medication.  Good luck!

@Rescue Mama So sorry to hear your news. We are hear for you 24/7.   

[Love2dance]

@Rescue Mama, you absolutely do deserve support, and this is the right place for it. I hope you can feel the  virtual hugs and caring feelings reaching out to you from Small Talk friends all over the world. 

[galaxychaser]

Move over Duggar’s new fundy family in town.

https://people.com/tv/welcome-to-plathville-sneak-peek/

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

Move over Duggar’s new fundy family in town.

https://people.com/tv/welcome-to-plathville-sneak-peek/

That looks interesting. 

[sixlets]

@RESCUE MAMA, please know you can reach out here anytime when and if you're ready.  You did an amazing and hard thing just by quitting.  That, in and of itself, is a difficult journey and one you should be proud of.  Take each day as it comes, and try to allow your family to be there for you.  You already have a new family here to support you any way we can.  Our little group is spread out through the US, and if you feel safe enough, please share what area you live in.  Be kind to yourself, and please know you are in my thoughts.

[SunnyBeBe]

9 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I still feel this way even tho I left the working world early on disability.  All my days are basically the same but for some reason my Saturdays still fly by quickly.

Mr. Barb found relief with acupuncture.  He even did the cupping thing that became popular with the swimmers in the Olympics.  He only stopped because it wasn't covered under his new insurance plan.  I worked with a gal that found relief with acupuncture for her migraines when she was pregnant since she wasn't able to take her regular medication.  Good luck!

@Rescue Mama So sorry to hear your news. We are hear for you 24/7.   

I'm going to really give it a shot. Pardon the pun. I have excellent insurance, but I was told it didn't cover the accupuncture. I'm going to investigate. I'm paying out of pocket now and it's not cheap. But, my discomfort is so severe that I'll do anything for relief. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

Feeling kind of shattered for my son today...and though I know it was his mistake, and not trying to excuse or trivialize it, but he has been home on leave from the Marines this past week and getting together with friends he's had from the area, and, last night misjudged, slightly, how much he'd had to drink and was stopped on his way out of the parking lot. And even though the police said he did not appear at all impaired, he did blow slightly above the legal limit. They are pretty sure that when it comes to trial he will be able to avoid an actual conviction, based on his otherwise completely clean record, his cooperation, his demeanor, and the fact that he was not much over the limit, but as an Officer in the Marine Corps, his standards need to be that much higher, and even if he avoids conviction and somehow manages to be given a second chance, it's unlikely that he will really manage to progress in his career. 

He has always been very well aware of the standards in all aspects, and, while he does enjoy a few drinks with friends on occasion, has always been religious about taking an Uber when there was any question about his sobriety, but he misjudged, and all the body and soul crushing work he's put into these last almost three years may go down the tubes in an instant. I just can't stop crying for him. It's so horrible that some mistakes have the power to so quickly change lives.

Of course, I am grateful that he didn't go out there impaired and cause a serious accident - or that he wasn't the victim of one - but I'm still feeling his devastation....

[Mindthinkr]

Oh drats Jyn. I’m so sorry he had that small lapse in judgment. It could effect his military career or it could be used as an example and he leads others in what not to do. 

[SunnyBeBe]

23 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Feeling kind of shattered for my son today...and though I know it was his mistake, and not trying to excuse or trivialize it, but he has been home on leave from the Marines this past week and getting together with friends he's had from the area, and, last night misjudged, slightly, how much he'd had to drink and was stopped on his way out of the parking lot. And even though the police said he did not appear at all impaired, he did blow slightly above the legal limit. They are pretty sure that when it comes to trial he will be able to avoid an actual conviction, based on his otherwise completely clean record, his cooperation, his demeanor, and the fact that he was not much over the limit, but as an Officer in the Marine Corps, his standards need to be that much higher, and even if he avoids conviction and somehow manages to be given a second chance, it's unlikely that he will really manage to progress in his career. 

He has always been very well aware of the standards in all aspects, and, while he does enjoy a few drinks with friends on occasion, has always been religious about taking an Uber when there was any question about his sobriety, but he misjudged, and all the body and soul crushing work he's put into these last almost three years may go down the tubes in an instant. I just can't stop crying for him. It's so horrible that some mistakes have the power to so quickly change lives.

Of course, I am grateful that he didn't go out there impaired and cause a serious accident - or that he wasn't the victim of one - but I'm still feeling his devastation....

So sorry about your son. Please don't take this the wrong way, but, I would have him consult with a very experienced attorney.  Not to diss  the police, but they don't always provide the defendant info that is in the defendants best interest. There may be technical issues...I'd just consult so he knows all his options. It might not be as bad as you think. Intoxilyzers are not perfect. They could be off. An experienced atty will know how to proceed.

[Mindthinkr]

Wrong thread. Sorry friends. 

Thanks @Sew Sumi for pointing that out. 

Edited October 17, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Oops.

[Sew Sumi]

@Mindthinkr, I think you mean to be posting in the RHOD thread. 😁

[Love2dance]

@Jynnan tonnix, I am so sorry to hear about your son. Hoping that the results will be the best possible for his life and career. It’s so hard to be a mom when your adult kids have problems. Hugs.

[lookeyloo]

So sorry @Jynnan tonnix - I concur about a good attorney. Calibration in machine could have been odd. 

[Scarlett45]

15 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

So sorry about your son. Please don't take this the wrong way, but, I would have him consult with a very experienced attorney.  Not to diss  the police, but they don't always provide the defendant info that is in the defendants best interest. There may be technical issues...I'd just consult so he knows all his options. It might not be as bad as you think. Intoxilyzers are not perfect. They could be off. An experienced atty will know how to proceed.

As a lawyer- I second this. 

[CalicoKitty]

I’m sitting in the Des Moines airport waiting for my flight home. I’m early for my flight so I’m checking in here.  My thoughts and prayers for everyone with health problems.  My brother is covering with care for parents while I was able to get away to northeast Iowa for a break. He and I are the only children and, luckily, are on the same page regarding care. He sees them more than I do because he lives in the same town but we make joint decisions. Dad probably won’t make it too much longer, and Moms dementia is moving fast.   So I took a break to Iowa.  Over a week of just me and a rental car.  I get up in the morning and decide where I want to go that day.  I visit several family graves in various cemeteries and go to genealogy libraries to do research.  I just enjoy the nice people, beautiful scenery, and NO TRAFFIC.  There is so much history here, as well as lots of interesting things to do, that this is my go-to spot for vacation.  I haven’t lived here since I was a child but my family in Iowa goes back to the 1830’s.  So now it’s back to the real world.  I had a pleasant 3 hour drive to Des Moines yesterday and am not looking forward to California traffic!

[wilsie]

17 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Feeling kind of shattered for my son today...and though I know it was his mistake, and not trying to excuse or trivialize it, but he has been home on leave from the Marines this past week and getting together with friends he's had from the area, and, last night misjudged, slightly, how much he'd had to drink and was stopped on his way out of the parking lot. And even though the police said he did not appear at all impaired, he did blow slightly above the legal limit. They are pretty sure that when it comes to trial he will be able to avoid an actual conviction, based on his otherwise completely clean record, his cooperation, his demeanor, and the fact that he was not much over the limit, but as an Officer in the Marine Corps, his standards need to be that much higher, and even if he avoids conviction and somehow manages to be given a second chance, it's unlikely that he will really manage to progress in his career. 

He has always been very well aware of the standards in all aspects, and, while he does enjoy a few drinks with friends on occasion, has always been religious about taking an Uber when there was any question about his sobriety, but he misjudged, and all the body and soul crushing work he's put into these last almost three years may go down the tubes in an instant. I just can't stop crying for him. It's so horrible that some mistakes have the power to so quickly change lives.

Of course, I am grateful that he didn't go out there impaired and cause a serious accident - or that he wasn't the victim of one - but I'm still feeling his devastation....

I understand your worry and concern for your son.  He has accomplished so much and this could affect his future.  Seeing an attorney for something like this is such a good idea.  We all cry when our kids hurt no matter how old they are or we are. 

[Love2dance]

@CalicoKitty, I’m glad you got at least a little bit of a break and enjoyed your time away from caretaking. It’s nice that you and your brother are there for each other.
We are out of town too, and I’m also dreading the return to LA area traffic. 
Safe travels!