Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[louannems]

3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’ll check that out. 

My recommendation is The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Piltcher. The ending made me feel right about so many things. 

I've read all of Rosamund Pilcher's books so many times!  I love them.  I own them all and I don't own/keep very many books, preferring libraries.

[galaxychaser]

I watch a lot of chopped jr. and there are a ton of

Aidan

Jack

Jacob

Jackson

Henry

Emma

Emily

Ava

 

added: ton of Aidan’s 

Edited September 25, 2018 by galaxychaser

[Mindthinkr]

A fellow poster from NC hasn’t been heard from. She lives in an area that might have experienced bad flooding. Please pray for her well being. 

@stewedsquash Please let us know that you are okay. 

[lookeyloo]

12 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’ll check that out. 

My recommendation is The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Piltcher. The ending made me feel right about so many things. 

You brought back memories for me.  I've read everything Rosamund Piltcher has written and loved every one of them.

[Nysha]

The Kindle version of The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Piltcher is on sale for $2.99, for today (9/24) at least. Thanks for the recommend. I've never read any of her books but this one sounds like something I will enjoy.

[Mindthinkr]

41 minutes ago, Nysha said:

The Kindle version of The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Piltcher is on sale for $2.99, for today (9/24) at least. Thanks for the recommend. I've never read any of her books but this one sounds like something I will enjoy.

It’s one of my top ten of the thousands that I have read (probably no exaggeration). Happy reading. 

[sixlets]

I'm so sorry to hear about everyone dealing with chronic illness.  I've been stuck with severe chronic pain for the last 9 years.  When it began, I had every test imaginable.  I was sent to cardiology and rheumatology.  Nothing could be found.  My first doctor moved out of the area, so I started seeing the PA in the office.  He left earlier this summer, and I'm now dealing with a brand new nurse practitioner, and it's safe to say we don't like one another.  I was literally forced/blackmailed into doing physical therapy.  After 10 weeks and $1500, I'm no better than I was in June.  My pain varies, but I have not had one single day without it since this began.  I'm turning 39 in October, and my mother who turned 65 in March, is in much better physical health.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  Walking around Target can bring me to tears on a bad day.  It's debilitating, exhausting, and mentally & emotionally draining.   

Please be as open as possible with what you experience.  Chronic illness of any type can be very isolating.  You all have my empathy and sympathy for what you're dealing with and will be in my thoughts.  

[Mindthinkr]

There is a thread for chronic pain and such illnesses that I began under the heading of Health and Wellness. 

I also have been forced to deal with a health provider that I did not see eye to eye with and because of their policies and insurance I wasn’t allowed to change. I feel for you. It takes two to make things right and if you do not feel confidence or comfort with who you are dealing with it won’t allow you the best environment to heal and at least feel heard. 

I deal with chronic pain but have learned a lot about myself to lessen it. Not that it is always possible to do that. I feel for you because it can be so isolating and difficult for others to listen to you when you “harp” (in their words) on what is going on and never get the satisfaction of feeling better. Meet me over on the other thread. I’d be happy to listen and give you any help that I can, but more than that I am willing to listen to you endlessly until you get the help you need or feel better. PM me if you choose to keep it private. 

[bigskygirl]

Do any of you have weird dreams when you do not feel well? I have been reading a good mystery before going to bed, so I know it plays a part in having weird dreams. I even had a weird dream about the Duggars the other night. Luckily I was able to wake up during the dream and went back to sleep with no problems.

[ChiCricket]

1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

Do any of you have weird dreams when you do not feel well? I have been reading a good mystery before going to bed, so I know it plays a part in having weird dreams. I even had a weird dream about the Duggars the other night. Luckily I was able to wake up during the dream and went back to sleep with no problems.

      I usually have weird nightmares/dreams when I start taking a new medication. 

Or after reading these forums right before bed. Last night I had a dream about Amy Roloff and their pumpkin farm. I need to read a book right before bed instead. ?

[Mindthinkr]

49 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

I need to read a book right before bed instead. ?

A happy book! 

[ChiCricket]

36 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

A happy book! 

  It also needs to be a short, happy book. I have the unfortunate habit of not being able to stop reading until the book is finished, if the book is interesting.

  I've stayed awake way too late many times, because I have to see how something ends.

  I need to figure out which books on my Kindle are short for nighttime reading.

    I miss being able to just grab a (real) book that I know will be short because it's thin, but I don't miss all the  hundreds of (actual) books I used to keep all over my house.

     I'm allergic to dust, so it really helps my allergies not to have all those books to dust off (which tbh, I didn't do often enough.)

    Thank goodness we can take Kindle books out electronically from our local libraries. Otherwise I would be really, really broke (I also love how the library books just return themselves.) Also, BookBub is great for getting free books.

  PS. oops sorry, didn't mean to write a book??

Edited September 25, 2018 by ChiCricket
Blabby today.

[bigskygirl]

Or worse is when you struggle to stay awake all day, and an hour before going to bed you suddenly are not tired anymore.

[ChiCricket]

I forgot to mention, being able to download the audio version of a book from the library is great for when you need to sort/clean stuff. I can never have TV in the background, because I always find myself stopping to watch the program.

[Rabbittron]

So what does everybody think about the Bill Cosby sentencing for him who knows it might be a life sentence. But people think that he's going to come up to Colorado to Englewood and go to the country club prison. If he gets a regular prison will have to be in sag because if he was in general population he will be killed for what he did.

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

Or worse is when you struggle to stay awake all day, and an hour before going to bed you suddenly are not tired anymore.

Story. Of. My. Life. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I know there's been a lot of discussion around here about how much we HATE cancer.  I have hated it for a good while.  I was wondering if anyone around here has dealt with anyone who had metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

[Barb23]

4 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Do any of you have weird dreams when you do not feel well? I have been reading a good mystery before going to bed, so I know it plays a part in having weird dreams. I even had a weird dream about the Duggars the other night. Luckily I was able to wake up during the dream and went back to sleep with no problems.

I have had many episodes of weird strange dreams & hallucinations but mine have been when I've been in the hospital.  The worst was when I was in the ICU very sick with pneumonia. Most people thought it was from high dose of painkillers I was on but nurse told me other things could contribute as well. Like being dehydrated, abnormal bloodwork, etc. I was also very exhausted. 

These dreams were so different from my normal dreams, very vivid & hard to wake up from.  There was one scary one in which I was transferred to a juvenile rehab place that was so creepy Halloweeny like. Another one I was welcoming dignitaries from a long lost country at our small town shopping center complete with dressed up elephants & a huge sheet cake. There was also one in which my doctor was passing out popcorn to pediatric patients waiting in lobby of hospital

I know I scared one of the nurses and my son too but once I was fully awake I was fine. I did get to the point I asked the nurses if certain things did happen, like getting a CT scan late at night (which did). 

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on but I've never experienced anything  like this before. After reading my post, it sounds like they slipped LSD in my IV.

[Mindthinkr]

24 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I know there's been a lot of discussion around here about how much we HATE cancer.  I have hated it for a good while.  I was wondering if anyone around here has dealt with anyone who had metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

You offer an ear. A hand to hold. A hot meal on days when your friend is so overwhelmed by a Drs or hospital visit that she doesn’t have the energy to lift a fork to her mouth. You can offer prayers. Call her and let her know that you realize that even if he is going through the tough time that you know it is a difficult time for her too. Offer your friendship. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

29 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I know there's been a lot of discussion around here about how much we HATE cancer.  I have hated it for a good while.  I was wondering if anyone around here has dealt with anyone who had metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

Ugh, I am sorry to hear this. My mother’s long time boyfriend had metastatic lung cancer. They gave him four months at diagnosis, but he lasted 18 months. The last two months were miserable, as the bone Mets caused considerable pain and problems, but he had a decent quality of life until then.

As both a cancer patient and a cancer caregiver, I would say the biggest thing to do is *something* In the good old days, you would have called or gone by the house and heard or seen the exhaustion and acted however accordingly. Now people read a text or Facebook update, feel informed, and don’t do anything to help. 

Don’t ask them how you can help, just do it. “Let me know how I can help” is the worst. You’re overwhelmed and you can’t manage yourself much less other people. Just say you’re bringing dinner over next Tuesday. Or you’re going to drop off some groceries tomorrow afternoon. Or whatever. Also, everyone helps at time of diagnosis, but then people move on. Remember them in a month, two months, etc. Their needs will be ongoing. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Yes, Mindthinkr and Marshmellow Mollie,  I'll do those things.  She's still in the hospital.  Not sure if she is able to come home. Not likely.  I don't think she is able to converse.....no longer eating.   So, I'm taking him food soon and offering to help with the pets. And of course, offer many prayers, send cards, etc.  It's just so much to deal with.  I don't know how people do it. 

Edited September 25, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[bigskygirl]

9 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

I have had many episodes of weird strange dreams & hallucinations but mine have been when I've been in the hospital.  The worst was when I was in the ICU very sick with pneumonia. Most people thought it was from high dose of painkillers I was on but nurse told me other things could contribute as well. Like being dehydrated, abnormal bloodwork, etc. I was also very exhausted. 

These dreams were so different from my normal dreams, very vivid & hard to wake up from.  There was one scary one in which I was transferred to a juvenile rehab place that was so creepy Halloweeny like. Another one I was welcoming dignitaries from a long lost country at our small town shopping center complete with dressed up elephants & a huge sheet cake. There was also one in which my doctor was passing out popcorn to pediatric patients waiting in lobby of hospital

I know I scared one of the nurses and my son too but once I was fully awake I was fine. I did get to the point I asked the nurses if certain things did happen, like getting a CT scan late at night (which did). 

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on but I've never experienced anything  like this before. After reading my post, it sounds like they slipped LSD in my IV.

The book I was reading before going to sleep was about a poor girl who was raped and murdered, and the guy who did it used drugs to knock her out, but the drugs would give her nightmares and kept her awake while he was raping her over and over again. I did have a dream where I was figuring out who did it, but the main suspect was taking off mask after mask when I talking about the evidence against him. Talk about weird and a little creepy.

36 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I know there's been a lot of discussion around here about how much we HATE cancer.  I have hated it for a good while.  I was wondering if anyone around here has dealt with anyone who had metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

I also would suggest giving her and her husband space and respect them when it comes to telling others about her illness. One thing I hated when my husband was first diagnosed was the lack of privacy and getting phone calls an emails from people we did not tell. I finally told off my in-laws because of their lack of respect when it came to what my husband and I went through the first few months, and the lack or respect to the dialysis unit and kidney specialist. I still want to bitch slap my one sister-in-law.

Edited September 25, 2018 by bigskygirl

[SunnyBeBe]

Good points about giving them their space.  It has been made known to the church, friends, neighbors, etc.  but, I would leave that to them for sure. 

[Mindthinkr]

8 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Yes, Mindthinkr and Marshmellow Mollie,  I'll do those things.  She's still in the hospital.  Not sure if she is able to come home. Not likely.  I don't think she is able to converse.....no longer eating.   So, I'm taking him food soon and offering to help with the pets. And of course, offer many prayers, send cards, etc.  It's just so much to deal with.  I don't know how people do it. 

He might not want to leave her alone. He might like it if you’d offer to stay with her until he can go home and grab a quick shower and return. The pets are a great idea. Don’t know if they are cats or dogs but some feeding and walking (if applicable) is a nice thing to offer. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Taking care of the pets is a really thoughtful offer ❤️❤️

[SunnyBeBe]

Good ideas.  I'll try them. 

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

The woman/wife who used to live next door to me died of this a few years back.  We (other neighbors and I) took meals once or twice a week, offered to sit with her, I made some phone calls for them, we took her flowers, and we prayed with the family members who wanted to do that.  It was about all we could do.  I made one grocery store run for them near the end when they asked to borrow food as no one wanted to leave her.  After it was all over, the husband said bringing over a complete dinner was the nicest thing anyone did for him.  I expect it will vary by families what is the best for them.  Little things that let them know someone cared seemed to be the key.  

42 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Don’t ask them how you can help, just do it.

This.  Call and say I'd like to bring you dinner at 5:00 today.  Is that OK or is tomorrow better for you?

[lookeyloo]

All great suggestions.  Have had issues and y'all are on top of it with great suggestions.

[Jynnan tonnix]

54 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

I have had many episodes of weird strange dreams & hallucinations but mine have been when I've been in the hospital.  The worst was when I was in the ICU very sick with pneumonia. Most people thought it was from high dose of painkillers I was on but nurse told me other things could contribute as well. Like being dehydrated, abnormal bloodwork, etc. I was also very exhausted. 

These dreams were so different from my normal dreams, very vivid & hard to wake up from.  There was one scary one in which I was transferred to a juvenile rehab place that was so creepy Halloweeny like. Another one I was welcoming dignitaries from a long lost country at our small town shopping center complete with dressed up elephants & a huge sheet cake. There was also one in which my doctor was passing out popcorn to pediatric patients waiting in lobby of hospital

I know I scared one of the nurses and my son too but once I was fully awake I was fine. I did get to the point I asked the nurses if certain things did happen, like getting a CT scan late at night (which did). 

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on but I've never experienced anything  like this before. After reading my post, it sounds like they slipped LSD in my IV.

Only once, I remember, I had a really frightening dream/hallucination when I had some sort of stomach bug/food poisoning (?). I had been throwing up most of the day, and our next door neighbor, who was a doctor on base (we were living in base housing, and the hospital was just down the road) kindly wrote me a prescription for an antiemetic, the name of which I can't remember (this was over 20 years ago) and ran it down to me. I don't know whether it was the medication or the dehydration or what, but it made me really drowsy, and every time I would drop off, I'd feel hands grasped around my ankles, pulling me down toward the foot of the bed, onto the floor, and down the hall. I'd wake up, find myself still in bed, drop off again, and go through the same thing...probably eight or ten times in a row. I think I recall there also being fire involved the further I was pulled from the bed, but that might be my mind further embroidering the story after the fact. At any rate, it was a terrifying sensation, being pulled, slowly, inexorably, from my bed, over and over by those demon hands...I've been afraid to take anything for nausea/vomiting since then.

[doodlebug]

55 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Yes, Mindthinkr and Marshmellow Mollie,  I'll do those things.  She's still in the hospital.  Not sure if she is able to come home. Not likely.  I don't think she is able to converse.....no longer eating.   So, I'm taking him food soon and offering to help with the pets. And of course, offer many prayers, send cards, etc.  It's just so much to deal with.  I don't know how people do it. 

Send a note reminding them both of how much you love them and value their friendship; remind them of fun things you did together, funny things that happened, people you knew.  Send along an Amazon gift card or a card to a favorite restaurant, preferably one that delivers.  Make sure they've got your cell phone number and are happy to talk anytime, glad to run an errand, pick up the mail, wait for a delivery, etc (if you can).  Let them know if you'd like to visit or call; let them know it is ok if it is just not a good time for that. 

If your friend's wife is still hospitalized, offer to drop by and sit with her while he goes home, takes a nap, checks the mail, stares at his navel.  A friend of mine lost her husband after a brief but severe illness this winter.  He was in hospice for a couple of weeks before he died.  I texted her every day, telling her I would go and see him after work and approximately what time if that worked.  She would text back and let me know if others were visiting.  She also let me know that there were some important errands she needed to run but she didn't want him to be alone all evening, so we worked it out that I stayed with him that evening, just talking about this and that so she could get her things accomplished.

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I know there's been a lot of discussion around here about how much we HATE cancer.  I have hated it for a good while.  I was wondering if anyone around here has dealt with anyone who had metastatic lung cancer. (Multiple masses, inoperable and adrenal gland also involved.)  They are not sure of brain yet.  Waiting on another test. Patient is a heavy smoker.   I'm trying to comfort a friend who has a spouse with this.  I'm not sure, but, it seems pretty bad.  I've done some reading. How do you know what to do? I've offered things, but, it seems so small. 

The “small” things are often huge. 

Sorry about your friend’s spouse. That does not sound good at all.

[ehall1052]

“What is it with people calling their  in-laws Mr/Mrs/Pastor last-name.  Either call them by their first names or by Mom and Dad.  If you know them so little that you cannot do that, then maybe you shouldn’t be marrying into their family. “

“ We have been married for 31 years. I have never called my in laws anything. Not Mom or Dad, nor their first names. I just have never called them anything. If I ever refer to them, they are “Husband’s Parents.””

 

l brought this discussion over from this week’s episode talk.  This is something I’ve always struggled with, too.  I wish there was already established names for “in-laws”. I was very shy when we got married almost 40 years ago and felt uncomfortable calling my in-laws Mom & Dad but didn’t feel comfortable calling them by their first names.  So I never called them anything and that always bothered me. (I would call them Grandma and Grandpa when it involved my kids).So when my oldest son got married, I told my daughter-in-law right away that she could call us by our first names.  But guess what? She doesn’t do it....she doesn’t call us anything!  Now I know how my mother-in-law must have felt.

[BitterApple]

I agree the in-law situation can be awkward. I like my husband's parents and we get along well, but I don't feel close enough to call them "Mom and Dad". I was also raised to never call elders by their first names, so referring to them as "Bill and Anne" feels wrong. Until it became a point of discussion on the boards, I'd never even realized that I don't have a specific way of addressing them. Now I feel kind of bad.

[lookeyloo]

I too agree about the awkward in law situation.  I am a daughter in law and a mother in law.  My daughter in law didn't really call me anything until the kids arrived and now she calls me Grandma, which is fine by me.  She had a great mother.  I loved her too.  Lucky us, we were friends until she passed.  Son in law calls me by first name which is fine by me too.  He is very loving.  His family disowned him when he came out so he is really happy to have any kind of parents who love him.    I call my in laws by first name.  Mother in law passed, but still call father in law by his name.  they didn't seem to have any issues with it.  Spouses of other children also call them by first names.  We never called elders by first names growing up, but it was "aunt" and "uncle", so not great choice for in laws.  Speaking of awkward and changing the subject a bit, I worked for years with some juvenile court judges.  Over the years we became friendly and they said "call me first name".  I said, well, I couldn't because when I met them our situation was more formal and to me they would always be "judge last name".  

[Westiepeach]

My sister’s husband called my parents “mom and dad.”  I don’t remember what my sister called her in-laws. My husband called my parents by their first names, and they hated it. They would complain to me, but they would not say a word to him. Oh well...

All parents are gone now, so it is a moot point. 

Edited September 25, 2018 by Westiepeach

[mythoughtis]

1 hour ago, ehall1052 said:

“What is it with people calling their  in-laws Mr/Mrs/Pastor last-name.  Either call them by their first names or by Mom and Dad.  If you know them so little that you cannot do that, then maybe you shouldn’t be marrying into their family. “

“ We have been married for 31 years. I have never called my in laws anything. Not Mom or Dad, nor their first names. I just have never called them anything. If I ever refer to them, they are “Husband’s Parents.””

 

l brought this discussion over from this week’s episode talk.  This is something I’ve always struggled with, too.  I wish there was already established names for “in-laws”. I was very shy when we got married almost 40 years ago and felt uncomfortable calling my in-laws Mom & Dad but didn’t feel comfortable calling them by their first names.  So I never called them anything and that always bothered me. (I would call them Grandma and Grandpa when it involved my kids).So when my oldest son got married, I told my daughter-in-law right away that she could call us by our first names.  But guess what? She doesn’t do it....she doesn’t call us anything!  Now I know how my mother-in-law must have felt.

So how do people get each others attention... just wait until they happen to look straight at you? What if they are looking the other way, are in the other room, or the room is noisy?   People love to have their name used. It’s one of the first things people tell you to do to make friends and influence people. 

My ex-daughter-in-law called her Mom ‘Mom’ and she started calling me ‘Ma’.  She is still friends with my son and she still calls me ‘Ma’. They just made better friends than spouses.  

I would be okay with a daughter in law using my first name. I call my in-laws by their first names - because I’ve never felt close enough to them to call them Mom and Dad. However, I’m not my Daughter in laws grandma and I wouldn’t appreciate her calling me that unless she was speaking to my grandchildren, and therefore, referring to me. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

2 hours ago, ehall1052 said:

“What is it with people calling their  in-laws Mr/Mrs/Pastor last-name.  Either call them by their first names or by Mom and Dad.  If you know them so little that you cannot do that, then maybe you shouldn’t be marrying into their family. “

“ We have been married for 31 years. I have never called my in laws anything. Not Mom or Dad, nor their first names. I just have never called them anything. If I ever refer to them, they are “Husband’s Parents.””

 

l brought this discussion over from this week’s episode talk.  This is something I’ve always struggled with, too.  I wish there was already established names for “in-laws”. I was very shy when we got married almost 40 years ago and felt uncomfortable calling my in-laws Mom & Dad but didn’t feel comfortable calling them by their first names.  So I never called them anything and that always bothered me. (I would call them Grandma and Grandpa when it involved my kids).So when my oldest son got married, I told my daughter-in-law right away that she could call us by our first names.  But guess what? She doesn’t do it....she doesn’t call us anything!  Now I know how my mother-in-law must have felt.

I didn't ever really call my in-laws anything either for years and years. I'd refer to them as Mom and Dad, and did start calling my mother-in-law Mom occasionally in later years, but I'm one who has a tendency not to use people's names in any case. Unless you really are in a big crowd and neeeed to get their attention quickly, it just never seems necessary. I really never even call Mr Jyn by his name, mostly because I don't really like it and don't think it suits him. His name is Richard, and he goes by Rich, which just feels wrong in my mouth. His family all call him Rick, which I like and would use, but he hates being called that because it sounds too juvenile to him. So I either call him Dear or Sweetie. 

(I figure I can get away using his name here, as it's so common, especially in his generation)

My son-in-law refers to us both by our first names, but rarely calls us anything directly either. For the longest time, though, when he and my daughter were first going out, he never referred to him as anything but "the Captain", as that was the rank Mr. Jyn still held in the Navy, and SIL's dad had retired from the Navy as enlisted, so there was a sort of weird dynamic there.

[Catfin]

6 hours ago, Rabbittron said:

So what does everybody think about the Bill Cosby sentencing for him who knows it might be a life sentence. But people think that he's going to come up to Colorado to Englewood and go to the country club prison. If he gets a regular prison will have to be in sag because if he was in general population he will be killed for what he did.

Good! This has been covered up forever. He’s tried to paint his victims as liars, then crazy, then consensual partners and now the court system as racist. I have never been able to stand him. 

[Catfin]

I call my in-laws by their first names. They are not mom & dad. Nope.  DH calls my mom by her first name and called my dad by his first name when he was alive.  My ex-h (27 years ex! Wow) would only call my parents Mr. & Mrs. T in spite of being asked to use first names.  

[jcbrown]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

The “small” things are often huge. 

Sorry about your friend’s spouse. That does not sound good at all.

This. When my mom was dying, my dad, my sister, my husband, and I kept 24x7 vigil at the nursing home with her. (Dad was there most of the time and the rest of us were there all day and spelled him when he went home to shower and change once a day.) The people I remember are the ones who just came to be there. One family drove 3.5 hours and brought us a cake (which we gave to the staff, who were terrific to us). The people at the church who organized a lunch after her memorial service. It is terrible to have to figure out what to do but I think liberating to realize that just being a human and present is often one of the most memorable and important things.

[preciousperfect]

I don’t call my mother in law anything either. *shrugs*

[zoomama]

7 hours ago, Rabbittron said:

So what does everybody think about the Bill Cosby sentencing for him who knows it might be a life sentence. But people think that he's going to come up to Colorado to Englewood and go to the country club prison. If he gets a regular prison will have to be in sag because if he was in general population he will be killed for what he did.

 i think he probably deserves what he gets. it IS hard, however,  to think of him being in a strange setting with no guide and he cannot see. the compassionate side of me worries about this kind of stuff. the victim side of me celebrates with those that he hurt. 

[Triple P]

I call my MIL by her first name. She wants me to call her mom, but she is very much not my mom, despite what she thinks (yeah, there is a lot of history there). DH and I are coming up on 18 years together and she is still trying to get me to call her mom.

Ain't gonna happen lady.

[kokapetl]

On 25/09/2018 at 9:25 AM, Westiepeach said:

 We have been married for 31 years. I have never called my in laws anything. Not Mom or Dad, nor their first names. I just have never called them anything. If I ever refer to them, they are “Husband’s Parents.”

“Hi ... Mr and Lady You Guys!”

[ginger90]

Cosby was sentenced to state prison. I can’t see him serving anywhere except Pennsylvania. There are prisons that have geriatric units.

[andromeda331]

21 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Do any of you have weird dreams when you do not feel well? I have been reading a good mystery before going to bed, so I know it plays a part in having weird dreams. I even had a weird dream about the Duggars the other night. Luckily I was able to wake up during the dream and went back to sleep with no problems.

Oh, yes. Usually when all my issues are flaring up and/or the inflammation is out of control I have really weird and freaky dreams.

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Cosby was sentenced to state prison. I can’t see him serving anywhere except Pennsylvania. There are prisons that have geriatric units.

I think I read it was "state of the art" brand new prison.  No matter, it is still prison.  

[kathe5133]

My father never called my mother's mother anything either.  It was "your mother", "your grandmother" or if forced because there was no one in the room to run interference for him "Luv", as in "would you like more coffee, Luv?"  It always baffled me.  He couldn't say "mother", he couldn't say "nana", he couldn't say "Mrs. Mywifesmother".  When questioned he said he feared appearing "disrespectful".  So "Luv"?  That's a sign of respect?   

[Happyfatchick]

I absolutely believe we gets visits from those who’ve passed.  I also believe there are people who are more sensitive to the presence of spirits than others.   I am very sensitive.  This is not to say I’m right and I’m on a crusade to become Theresa Caputo.  I have a tendency to be skeptical anyway, no matter the subject, and so leaned towards skepticism about spirits as well.   I mean, i was skeptical until I had interactions with a fewspirits myself.

i bought my brothers’ part of my parents home after they both died, and I live here now.  My father built this house mostly with his own 2 hands, and I’ve joked before that my Daddy’s DNA is on every nail in this entire structure.  Daddy was not a warm and fuzzy guy when I was growing up, but grew much closer when I got to adulthood.  By the time he died, I was the candle in the dark for him.  When he died, my mother was still alive, and would live 4 years beyond him, and was just over halfway down the road with Alzheimer’s.  Daddy was her primary caregiver - when he died, I was “it”.  She was also a severe type I diabetic.  No picnic fo me!!!  I felt so alone and so responsible - I didn’t have him to go to for answers, or to lean on when it was bad, my brothers abandoned ship like rats and I was forced to abandon any “life” I had thought to maintain.  My feeling of abandonment was fierce and I felt only a hair width away from permanent vegetative life myself.  I was horrible.  

Although I didn’t technically live her at the home place at the time, I was here all the time.  Every day.  Many many nights, although I did force some other family members to help with the nights some.  And of COURSE, I looked for Daddy everywhere.  I knew I was sensitive, and I knew he had to be here but I couldn’t find him.  I pounded anyone I could find with questions.  Where IS he?  (In heaven!  They would assure me, incredulous that I would ASK).  No.  Yes, I mean I “get” that, but WHERE IS that???  Where is my Daddy??  He had a nice wood shop downstairs.  Almost e dry day I would go down and just stand there asking “Daddy?  Are you here?”  I was really convinced he would answer me one day.

About 2 months after he died, several people were around one afternoon doing yard work.  Someone asked me for something I knew was kept in the locked end room of the pole barn.  Some expensive tools were kept (and used) out there, and the lawn mower.  I went out to fetch it the needed tool.  Unlocked the door and swung it open.   It was July in Georgia - 100 degrees, hot and sticky.  When I swung that door open, it felt like refrigerator air blasted out.  Actually blew my hair back a little.  I could smell him.  I could feel him.  Keep in mind, this poor man had been with an Alzheimer’s patient 24/7 for 8 years.  I was astonished!!!  I had not ONCE ever unlocked the shed door looking for him.  He was THERE, I’m telling you.  I said out loud “Daddy!!!  What in the world are you DOING out here???”  And my Daddy, standing right next to me said audibly “Well, a man’s gotta find some peace somewhere!”

i sat on the seat of the lawnmower and had a long talk.  He didn’t answer with his voice again (ever, unfortunately) but he was THERE.  THER are wasp nests all inside that shed, and they were flying all around me.  I said at one point, “Daddy, don’t you let those wasps get me”.  One never came close.  I talked and talked and told him how lonely I was, that nobody was helping and I felt so responsible.  In my head, he said he loved me and he knew I would do the best I could and he was relieved and happy I was here for Mama.  We talked for nearly an hour.  

I’ve had other experiences with other “ghosts”, and I’ve heard from Daddy several times (it’s always so obviously HIM).  Nothing ever in my life will top opening that shed door and finding my Daddy in there.  

[Happyfatchick]

...I had to switch “technology”, the battery was dying.  Because I want to add this:  of allllll people on earth, I take medication for depression.  Not proud of that, and can’t believe I have issues, but there you go.  I’m much happier with my happyfatchick persona, don’t live the depression side of life.  I’m well maintained, most people never have a clue.

but this STUCK IN THE HOUSE phase of my life is about to break me down into a sobbing mud puddle.  I am really struggling right now - and knowing how dependable (and dependent!) we are for each other here, I’m asking for a group hug.  I have an appointment today.  The surgery is healing well; but unfortunately has brought some other issues with my foot that now have to be dealt with.  I NEED this doctor to listen to me and help me.  I need help.  This has nothing to do with the fall that broke me, this is from a fall I had about a month before.  I have nerve damage in my foot that is excruciating.  I keep it elevated, I don’t put weight on it, I ice it regularly and still It swells like a pumpkin.  By the time I lay down at night, my toenails are navy blue.  I can’t sleep.  I get hot ice pick jabs all day and all night.  I can’t do anything.  I can’t do ANYTHING and I’m about at the end of the cliff.  It’s driving me up a wall.  My surgery is 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I’m back on Percocet just to function.  (Functioning is making my bed, getting a shower and cooking hot dogs).  I AM NOT HANDLING THIS WELL and I need help!!!!!  Help me, dear friends.  Hold up those prayer cloths (shoot, blow your nose on it, I don’t care!!).  Make cake.  Blow me kisses.  Send me love.  Send me chocolate!!  Do I sound crazy?  I AM CRAZY!!!!  I want my life back!!!

***note: the one thing I have done more of than I’ve done in YEARS is read.  I got the 2 titles from the previous posts - but if you’ve read something that will take me away, PLEASE tell me about it.  And whoever mentioned Audiobooks - I ALWAYS have an audiobook going - I listen to them while the embroidery machines are chugging away.  [and THERES a good side note - I’ve managed to bill out a good summer moneywise.  Amazingly, I’ve managed enough to pay all the money the insurance didn’t cover, so THATS good, right??]