S24.E01: Premiere

[TheFinalRose]

Move over, Ben Higgins. Your camera-hog #1 position is now seriously threatened by Hannah B, who won't stop showing up in front of the camera and, in addition, Peter's parents who had more camera time on this episode than the apparent front-runners for their son's heart. A big NO to the vow renewal ... what a waste of time and a pre-cursor to divorce on every BRAVO show I've ever seen.

Also, no more Webers dancing in their kitchen please .... we get it and it isn't as endearing as you think it is. We know ... we know... you guys are crazy and fun-loving and recite cute sayings in unison in a foreign language.  We saw it all on the hometowns last season.

You know who I feel sorry for? Peter's brother. He is forced to show up and film these goofy segments but is always trying to position himself so he won't be seen. 

Back to the unmarried ladies this show is supposed to be about: Madison strikes me as a brunette Rose Leslie. Hannah Ann is a Jenna Coleman look-a-like. And I thought the emotional support cow joke was pretty funny ... she should have gotten a rose for that alone.

Adding the first dates to the first episode is a good idea because the first night at the mansion is boring and getting it over with is smart.  

[nlkm9]

8 hours ago, nutty1 said:

Then she went after Tyler again but he was dating a super model. So Peter is still 3rd fiddle! 

so glad Peter made that point to her--that she asked out Tyler and not him. 

[nlkm9]

a sign of the times. in the first season, Shannon made it to the final 3 without even kissing. Now we have several makeouts on the first night. I think all of these girls are insane. Please remind me who was the basketball player? I was trying so hard to look for any substansial conversation between Peter abd Madison during the vow renewal date to see how tey possibly have a connection. all I heard was 100 "like"s. How does she feel so connected to him just because she attended a family function? wierd.

[Suzysite]

5 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

Please remind me who was the basketball player? I was trying so hard to look for any substansial conversation between Peter abd Madison during the vow renewal date to see how tey possibly have a connection. all I heard was 100 "like"s. How does she feel so connected to him just because she attended a family function? wierd.

Madison is the basketball player.   I'll give her this, she seems to have made an impression on Mommy Weber.  Big points there.

[TheFinalRose]

8 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

I was trying so hard to look for any substansial conversation between Peter abd Madison during the vow renewal date to see how tey possibly have a connection. all I heard was 100 "like"s. How does she feel so connected to him just because she attended a family function? wierd.

Don't forget her toast that included the always eloquent "you guys'es."

I don't even know if that's how you spell that. 

[alexa]

6 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Hannah B telling her "sex story"  was weird in so many ways.   Kind of bragging - "hey, girls, you know this guy, the one you're all competing for?  I fucked him 4 times!!  do you feel bad yet?  no matter what happens, whoever gets a rose, know this - I  had him first! oh yeah, and I might just have him again!"  

Seriously, can't she just let him have this, and give these other women a chance?   she can't make a decision to save her life.  

That is exactly how I felt...like she was one upping the majority of them before they even had a chance to get to know him.

On a general note, I miss the days when the Bachelor did not have to add extra drama, such as bringing back Hannah, etc, and just operated on their silly formula.  I am so over the extra drama that takes away from the fun that this show can be naturally.

Edited January 7, 2020 by alexa

[b2H]

7 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

Seriously, can't she just let him have this, and give these other women a chance?   she can't make a decision to save her life.  

Don't blame her for that sequence.  Blame the producers and Fleiss.

You can tell, from Hannah's reaction backstage, that whole thing made her really uncomfortable.  But this is the only job she has so she went along with it.  You don't say no to the people writing your paycheck.

She played her role and regretted how the whole thing looked and how it made her look.  Welcome to Fleiss world.

[calpurnia99]

She was crying because her time was in the past, now one of these girls will be the next bachelorette, Peter will be off to Europe and on TV and she has to head back to Bamy AND she has no man.  Shes finished and washed up, this is why she is sad. It has nothing to do with Peter. I hate to point out the obvious but if these 2 want to be together they don't need the show. Nothing is stopping them from being together. Hanna doesn't need to come back on and live in the house.  

[Jeanne222]

16 minutes ago, calpurnia99 said:

She was crying because her time was in the past, now one of these girls will be the next bachelorette, Peter will be off to Europe and on TV and she has to head back to Bamy AND she has no man.  Shes finished and washed up, this is why she is sad. It has nothing to do with Peter. I hate to point out the obvious but if these 2 want to be together they don't need the show. Nothing is stopping them from being together. Hanna doesn't need to come back on and live in the house.  

There's always Bachelor In Paradise for Hannah!  Just saying.

[phlebas]

21 minutes ago, calpurnia99 said:

She was crying because her time was in the past, now one of these girls will be the next bachelorette, Peter will be off to Europe and on TV and she has to head back to Bamy AND she has no man.  Shes finished and washed up, this is why she is sad.

Eh.  She's 25 years old. "Washed up" is overstating it -- she's not a gymnast. She's still younger than a lot of former Bachelorettes.

I don't think she's moving back to Alabama either, but time will tell. When I moved out of there, it would have taken a black hole to pull me back in.

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, TheFinalRose said:

Peter's parents who had more camera time on this episode than the apparent front-runners for their son's heart. A big NO to the vow renewal ... what a waste of time and a pre-cursor to divorce on every BRAVO show I've ever seen.

Yep, we knew they were fame whores when they cheered and pumped their arms on TV,  when it came out their son had done it four times with Hannah.

If I had ever had any particular respect for Peter I would have lost it when he stood right there during the airport challenge and watched Kelly cheat.  Then instead of saying, "Oh that was cute but Shiann wins because you didn't follow the rules." He just embraces the cheater and takes her off on the date.  I don't think that's Kelly's only example of cheating, either.  I think she's about 40 years old. Still she looks a little like Peter's mother so that much be the attraction.

What is it with this show's love affair with Hannah Brown?  First they give her the big gig when she didn't seem like the logic choice to anyone else.  They promoted her in her season like she was the greatest feminist since Gloria Steinem and now she's their great big star who will probably be asked back to every event for the next twenty years.

They must have made some decision that they want it to move from a show about romance to one about sex.  I mean Hannah telling her sex story and then requiring all the women to tell their sex stories?  On TV? Some of them might actually have real, non fame whore parents who would be mortified!

I'll watch next week to see who has enough self respect to leave after Miss Piggy joins the group and then I'll probably have to quit.

 

[Jeanne222]

8 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Yep, we knew they were fame whores when they cheered and pumped their arms on TV,  when it came out their son had done it four times with Hannah.

If I had ever had any particular respect for Peter I would have lost it when he stood right there during the airport challenge and watched Kelly cheat.  Then instead of saying, "Oh that was cute but Shiann wins because you didn't follow the rules." He just embraces the cheater and takes her off on the date.  I don't think that's Kelly's only example of cheating, either.  I think she's about 40 years old. Still she looks a little like Peter's mother so that much be the attraction.

What is it with this show's love affair with Hannah Brown?  First they give her the big gig when she didn't seem like the logic choice to anyone else.  They promoted her in her season like she was the greatest feminist since Gloria Steinem and now she's their great big star who will probably be asked back to every event for the next twenty years.

They must have made some decision that they want it to move from a show about romance to one about sex.  I mean Hannah telling her sex story and then requiring all the women to tell their sex stories?  On TV? Some of them might actually have real, non fame whore parents who would be mortified!

I'll watch next week to see who has enough self respect to leave after Miss Piggy joins the group and then I'll probably have to quit.

 

Kelly can't be 27!  She 's older!

[reggiejax]

10 hours ago, kazza said:

I liked the girl with the Corvette and attitude. Did she make it past the rose ceremony?

I believe she did. Not that it matters. Even a dope like Peter has to know, by the way she parked her car sideways, that it won't last.

[Mswldflwr]

If we are stuck with Hannah Brown all season, I wish more than anything that somebody would explain to her that AND and BUT are NOT five-syllable words.  And UHM is for teenagers.  Grown women don't UHM ad nauseam.

[Hangin Out]

Didn’t we have enough of Hannah ????????

 

 

[SoWindsor]

2 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

Madison strikes me as a brunette Rose Leslie

Thank you! I was trying to figure out who she reminded me of!

[JudyObscure]

17 minutes ago, Mswldflwr said:

If we are stuck with Hannah Brown all season, I wish more than anything that somebody would explain to her that AND and BUT are NOT five-syllable words.  And UHM is for teenagers.  Grown women don't UHM ad nauseam.

While they're at it they can tell her the difference between a short A an a long A.  I don't care where you're from Hannah is not pronounced Hay-nah.

[SoWindsor]

1 hour ago, calpurnia99 said:

Shes finished and washed up, this is why she is sad

How is she finished and washed up? She just won DWTS and has 2.5 million Instagram followers — the most of anyone in Bachelor Nation. She can make a ton of money just doing sponsored ads. I’d give anything to be that washed up!!!

[TheFinalRose]

Hannah needs some help processing her regret over her past decisions.  After dumping Jed (justifiable IMO) then going back to Tyler, then Peter, all I can see down the road is her inevitable reunion with Luke P on the next BIP if someone doesn't step in and stop her.  

[scarlettudor]

First, I really like Hannah Brown and am glad to see her back.  Am I the only one?

Second, the comment made by the hair remover lady was in really bad taste. "You're going to love my hairless p***y."

 

[LBS]

A 3 hour premiere is an act of aggression against my liver!  🙂  Also aggressive? The amount of kissing on the first night.  There is something about Peter that I find off-putting.  When he put Kelly on top of the bar and tried to shimmy in between her legs during their makeout session, I was grossed out.   Granted they "knew" each other but that seemed to be a bit forceful for this early in the season.   

Also who throws a renewal of vows for their 33rd anniversary?  Why not wait until the 35th?  Did I hear that wrong and it actually was 30.  I hope so because it bugged me more than it should as a normal human.

[Captain Asshat]

Just now, LBS said:

Also who throws a renewal of vows for their 33rd anniversary?  Why not wait until the 35th?  Did I hear that wrong and it actually was 30.  I hope so because it bugged me more than it should as a normal human.

If it actually was a *real* vow renewal ceremony (Read: Not totally conceived by, and paid for by, ABC), then I'd be a little miffed that they took something special to my spouse and me, and then made it all about him. Oh, and then dragged us ALL to his date where we get to pop in at the last moment and awkwardly dance to some random country act. 

[Jax7917]

Hannah would have come back No matter who the guy was . Peter wasn’t even her second choice as he pointed out . I’m sure she regrets her decision by choosing jed, but If she wanted peter at all , he wouldn’t have been sent home in the order that he was . Ari regretted his choice but at least Lauren came in second so it made more sense . Hannah just wants to be on tv no matter if it’s talking about windmill sex , crying , or just saying Um and aaaand a trillion times . The attention always needs to be on her even when it’s someone else’s season . 

[Rainsong]

Committing to a season of TB is daunting because one feels compelled to get to the final rose (and beyond) no matter how dim the prospects – and indeed no matter how dim the participants – are.

TB is a bit like music – most of the potential for originality is gone.  And if you come up with something you THINK is original – a melody, a chord progression – you find that someone came up with the same thing many years ago.  12 notes in the Western scale and all that.

And so TB is a victim of its own notoriety but especially its longevity.  At this point everyone’s in on the joke except, perhaps, for a few emotionally unstable, insecure males and females who pretend they know it’s all kayfabe but actually lose the plot when they declare ‘I was here to find love.’  With Instagram a hush-hush contract with an agent is no longer required.  With Instagram filters a professional photographer may be surplus to requirements as well.  Cue the string of photos that are so predictable they are like those compulsory skating figures that used to be part of the Olympics.  To wit:

1) Peace sign, usually with duck lips

2) Hat of some kind worn ironically or otherwise.  Cowboy.  Big furry Russian hat.  Baseball cap.  Knit watch cap (beanie).  Men’s hat (derby/bowler, Homburg, fedora, etc.).  Bicycle/motorcycle helmet - well, at least held in hand.  Watch the hair!

3) Sunglasses worn in conjunction with #1 or #2 above

4) Evening gown

5) Pic hugging dog.  Occasionally cat.

6) Family members used as props.

7) Beach photos.  Lots of beach photos.  Hundreds of beach photos.  Photos of surf, sand, docks, seagulls, turtles, iguanas, cabanas.  But mostly photos of themselves on the beach (natch) with hair and makeup done perfectly.  As you do.  Most beach photos involve strategic poses all laser-focused on camouflaging the thigh and bum area:  legs crossed while standing with all the weight on the back foot.  Standing on tiptoes so vertiginously that a violent rupture of an Achilles’ tendon seems likely.  The captions are equally universal:  ‘This is my perfect place’….’Already missing ______’ (an excuse to post another beach photo)…and, of course, some variation on ‘This is paradise’ – but not Paradise (capital P).  That probably comes later for the truly neurotic and desperate.

My usual disadvantage in missing the previous Bachelorette season but Hannah and the powers that be have pushed her incessantly on the public via cameos.  Hannah would show up at the opening of an envelope, as it were.  But I know next to nothing about Pete except he seems as shallow as the 2-minute video package featuring his mom hogging the camera so comprehensively that the crew may still be locked in her garage.  It’s a safe bet Pete’s got mommy issues.

The video vignettes for the females begin and they are as staged as WrestleMania.  A waxer ‘who runs her own business’ (read:  she rents a space in the Lenox Salon Lofts).  Model Hannah Sluss.  Nothing against models or the name Hannah (despite its current ubiquity) but remember the old days when a Joyce Frankenberg’s agent would change her name to Jane Seymour?  Sluss is just too easy to mispronounce intentionally or otherwise.  How about a stage name?  Hannah Stevens maybe?

Hey are they using the same table set for the various families or does everyone own the same table and area rug?  Are we really using those paper cell blinds on windows in the house?  I thought they were for ‘luxury’ apartments.  I have them in my garage but…it’s a garage.

Tammy’s a house flipper.  You can tell by the perfectly manicured hands and the manual screwdriver that she’s a paint-stained contractor (eye roll).  Boys’ wrestling team?  Oh boy.  Love travel a lot?  It’s hard to redo a kitchen when you’re in Cabo.  We’re three vignettes in and already a theme has developed:  these chicks want free airfare and lots of it.  Victoria activates the Devastating Personal Tragedy (DPT) alarm and will, undoubtedly, be in floods of tears upon arrival and throughout just as she is now.  Do full-on self-respecting attorneys share offices with Daddy?  Law firms full of relatives usually scream ‘ambulance chasers’ but Flanagan|Bilton (it came up quickly in a Google search as popular searches do) are all about fighting the man – the property tax man as it were.  If you’re a public school employee look away now.

We should really add a ‘railing shot’ counter to this site/section for every time a participant approaches, leans on or otherwise touches a railing near a body of water or on a balcony.

War Eagle Madison is also about travel.  Memo to the ladies:  Pete’s a commercial pilot but he doesn’t own a Gulfstream.  Maurissa is in the medical field and was a pageant girl.  For the really dense viewer unable to grasp these subtleties a shot of Maurissa in her scrubs taking off a prop tiara is included.

At this point it’s fair to ask if center-parted hair is a legal requirement in most states.  The drowned-rat look simply won’t go away.  A glimpse at magazine covers from the 60s, 70s and 80s shows an almost dizzying progression of hairstyles, some good, most bad.  But they changed – rapidly – in the days of the landline phone and the newsprint paper.  In the era of global instantaneous high-definition stereo-sound communications, however, we can’t advance beyond cleavage – on the scalp that is.

Speaking of cleavage, Alayah has arrived with her own and a dose of double-sided tape.  She’s got cans – sorry, a canned speech and a canned letter from Grandma.  Awww.  Sydney’s from Birmingham and has some snark for her Alabama predecessor.  Dewy-eye Hannah appears again and sets a speed record running through the poses:  the head tilt, the chin drop/thrust, the shrug.  Sarah becomes a sentimental favorite merely because her hair is side-parted.  Lauren is petite and ponytailed and arrives with cod psychology and the first mention of ‘journey.’  Drink!  Victoria is overwhelmed and on an emotional knife-edge as usual even though we barely know her.  Their dance is so awkward that, in the words of Mark Twain, let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of the scene.  Mykenna surveys TB like a rancher surveys a head of cattle.  I’m trying to imagine what kind of hell would be raised if a the male did same to a female.  Maurissa raises the ‘journey’ stakes with a ‘be true to ourselves’ and joins the chorus talking VERY prematurely about marriage.  Kelsey’s a professional clothier from…Des Moines?  Does she do a brisk trade in designer flannel and mud boots?  Ugh our first prop (except for the letter)…Eunice is a flight attendant which saves a lot of time and trouble.  She can book her own deadhead ticket and knows the procedures at the airport hotel.  Bottle of champagne and all that.  Now we’ve got a parade of flight attendants.  Jade (best looker so far especially the raven hair and mercifully free of props).  Megan and her microphone.  Eunice is nonplussed.  Madison reappears followed by Tammy (already top of the annoying list).  A neon sign for Courtney reading ‘bunny boiler’ would probably be too obvious.  But she is.  Suitcase Kiarra.  Yawn.  Lexi isn’t listed as a ventriloquist but still talks without moving her mouth at all

‘It’s like an old car!’  Well, yes, girls.  Might we expect you to recognize a Corvette?  Deandra is wearing windmill blades.  The puns write themselves don’t they?  Dutch treat?  Grist for the mill?  Millstone around his neck?  Payton is also obsessed with her predecessor – all of them seem blissfully unaware that the last thing a bloke wants to hear about is his shortcomings, failures, near-misses, etc.  Eunice is being possessive and annoying again…I sense a trend already.  Here come some more screeching ‘4 timers.’  Oh God, it’s like being back on a school bus.  Victoria’s dry sense of humor really isn’t dry and really isn’t humor but it’s better than a double entendre about a cat that we heard in ‘Are You Being Served?’ decades ago.  Speaking of marking territory when a Bachelorette talks about ‘establishing myself’ look out for claws and hissing.  Jenna and her cow remind us that TB should have at least one preemptive black rose in which he sends a no-hoper home before she ever enters the house.

Blindfold girl, name mercifully missed, gives way to Kelley who claims to be on a mission from God which is appropriate given their mutual Chicago background.  The Blues Bachelorettes?  Avonlea is almost a parody of Texas blondes including her profession but the intimidation factor when she enters is interesting to watch, as is the body language whenever individual ladies feel tense.  The right arm reaches across the face in a defensive move as the hand grasps for the hair in a self-soothing gesture.  Once you see it you can’t stop seeing it.

I needn’t have worried because Hannah B is here amidst a chorus of shrieks and screams.  ABC seems hell-bent on casting her in something, possibly Good Morning America or 20/20?

A stultifying sequence of show and tell follows.  Hannah’s fingerpainting garners her a snog.  More gasps and shrieks.  Mykenna gets hers.  Hannah Slusses (you wish you'd said it) to the buffet again successfully and is reproached but Southern girls can wrong-foot the opposition rather smoothly by agreeing with their tormentor.   Hmmm Victoria F’s dry humor seems to have dried up completely.  Instead, she’s the new Ashley I having a meltdown.

In the least surprising result since the NBA Dream Team carpet-bombed the Olympic basketball competition, Hannah gets the first impression rose.  What a performer.  The batting of the eyes, the nodding, the leaning in.  ‘I cannot believe I got the rose.’  Mmm-hmm.  Pull the other leg – it’s got bells on it.  You believe it entirely.

A mid-episode RC.  Perhaps it makes up for late-season episodes in which RCs are ‘spontaneously’ interrupted and postponed.  Tammy demonstrates that she literally doesn’t understand the word literally.  Lexi is doing her Edgar Bergen act again.  Or maybe she has an undiagnosed case of tetanus.  It’s daylight now and there’s no attempt to disguise it – which means they spent nigh-on 12 hrs shooting (and probably reshooting) the arrival scenes?

Few surprises although we can be excused for hoping that Tammy was a red herring – lots of footage and interviews and a first-night exit.  Still, we can look forward to an early departure in the next ep or two.  Sydney’s rose shows Hannah in the background letting the mask slip.  The ‘greatest love story’ McKenna?  Let’s not get carried away.

Sarah might be a dark horse.  Kelsey is in agony.  Maybe it’s from wearing heels that long.  Shame Pete can’t see the interviews or he would hear The Music Man warn us that Kelsey from River City is trouble – starts with T.  More red-herringness is avoided when Victoria F snatches the last rose.

Which means Jade, sadly, is off home.  So is Maurissa – aha!  The Red Herring revealed!  She will no doubt be asked if her passport is in order for a trip to Mexico.  Pro Sports Dancer & her Mr Bigglesworth are gone.

ENTR’ACTE

Edited January 7, 2020 by Rainsong

[phlebas]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

Didn’t we have enough of Hannah ????????

 

 

How would our lives have been different if Colton had sent her home after that first awkward one-on-one date where she couldn't make a toast.

[truthaboutluv]

Well, after the million promos of Hannah's appearance had the opposite effect of me resolutely NOT wanting to watch, reading the comments about the episode just confirms to me that I made the right choice. 

Hannah is laughable to me at this point, as is her equally delusional little stans in Bachelor Nation. Miss "I'm an empowered woman who doesn't need a man" can't stop trying to slot any guy into the boyfriend role. 

Yeah, yeah, the producers control the contestants, even after their season has ended, and they were behind having her appear on the show.  But if Hannah was resolutely, "I'm good in my single life", the conversation with Peter would have gone differently.

And seeing the Bachelor Nation stans awwing and now wishing they would get together is again just fucking laughable. Because these were some of the same people who insisted she and Tyler were meant to be. And when he dared to not be her backup, they went nuclear on him. So for Peter's sake, he better hope they don't start shipping a reunion between them too. 

And I hear she was once again selling the "Jed was the safe choice" line. What a load of crap. Hannah wanted Luke and Jed, PERIOD. Then as Luke's crazy became harder and harder to ignore, her feelings for Jed grew stronger and stronger. She picked Jed because that was who she wanted PERIOD. Peter was nice to fuck, obviously, but that was it. 

Then Jed turned out to be a lying liar who lies and meanwhile Bachelor Nation viewers and casual viewers as well, lost their damn minds over Tyler. And he became everyone's wet dream and everyone was screaming how insane she was to let him go and so suddenly she had all these "feelings" for Tyler. When Tyler said, "thanks, no thanks", it was back to the next option. 

Those "feelings" and "emotions" for Peter are a joke because had Luke not turned out to be a nutjob, Hannah would have happily picked him and paid the other guys dust. Then when that didn't work out, had Jed not turned out to be a liar, she would have happily done her post-season engagement with him and paid the other guys dust. And had Tyler been willing to play backup boyfriend, Peter would be a nothing thought to her. So like spare me.

Edited January 7, 2020 by truthaboutluv

[phlebas]

10 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

Those "feelings" and "emotions" for Peter are a joke because had Luke not turned out to be a nutjob, Hannah would have happily picked him and paid the other guys dust. Then when that didn't work out, had Jed not turned out to be a liar, she would have happily done her post-season engagement with him and paid the other guys dust. And had Tyler been willing to play backup boyfriend, Peter would be a nothing thought to her. So like spare me.

If things don't work out with Peter, Mike Johnson better start screening his calls.

[Cornhusker12]

I haven't watched much of the past two seasons because I found Colton truly unwatchable and then Hannah was pretty off-putting as well. I watched the last few eps of her season though. Anyway, in comparison I like Peter quite a bit! He seems kind of goofy and innocent in an authentic way (so far), and I found it pretty easy to root for him last night. And in an endless stream of athletic trainers and former high school football participants, I gotta say having a Bachelor who is a pilot is pretty unique and impressive haha. The constant puns however, are not.

Anyway, this Hannah business is bonkers. She was as bumbling as ever and it all just seemed so sad. And not in a sympathetic way, in a pathetic way. What in the world is she thinking? For entertainment purposes it would be fascinating to see her jump back in as a contestant but holy crap, how awkward for everyone involved.

[calpurnia99]

3 hours ago, phlebas said:

Eh.  She's 25 years old. "Washed up" is overstating it -- she's not a gymnast. She's still younger than a lot of former Bachelorettes.

I don't think she's moving back to Alabama either, but time will tell. When I moved out of there, it would have taken a black hole to pull me back in.

I meant washed up as far as her Bachelorette career, not her life, she can still have a real career and get married and have kids if she wants. I did forget about bachelor in paradise. I suppose she can still whore herself out on other shows, but for the most part, she's crying cause her big 15 minutes are over.

[Mu Shu]

I can’t do a three hour opening. Good god.

Peter is dull, looks like a poor man’s Nick Viall. He let gorgeous Kylie go and kept some up talking whiners. 
 

Sick of Hannah and her blaming this innocuous looking guy for not coming after her after she made it clear he was an afterthought. And I’m sick to death with her “empowering “ women by swearing and her obsession with letting people know she has sex. So does everyone you dolt. 
 

Peter married his parents. That’s all I got.

Howard Stern thought this was good? He’s just in in to leer at young chicks, nasty old creeper. 
 

Obligatory shirtless/wet chested Peter serving up dad bod real less after going to Planet Fitness religiously 3 days a week for three months straight. I’m surprised they didn’t make him use a personal trainer.  
 

[calpurnia99]

10 minutes ago, huskerj12 said:

I haven't watched much of the past two seasons because I found Colton truly unwatchable and then Hannah was pretty off-putting as well. I watched the last few eps of her season though. Anyway, in comparison I like Peter quite a bit! He seems kind of goofy and innocent in an authentic way (so far), and I found it pretty easy to root for him last night. And in an endless stream of athletic trainers and former high school football participants, I gotta say having a Bachelor who is a pilot is pretty unique and impressive haha. The constant puns however, are not.

Anyway, this Hannah business is bonkers. She was as bumbling as ever and it all just seemed so sad. And not in a sympathetic way, in a pathetic way. What in the world is she thinking? For entertainment purposes it would be fascinating to see her jump back in as a contestant but holy crap, how awkward for everyone involved.

I couldnt watch Colton either and I've watched all of them not matter how much I can't stand the lead. But something about him made him unwatchable to me. I see him like a giant marshmallow or a baby in pampers. No masculinity at all like a man child 

[Haute Messe]

12 hours ago, Lemons said:

I didn’t see that. A lot of very ordinary jobs.  Retail manager, dental assistant, esthetician, receptionist for doctors, model, more than a couple of flight attendants of course.  The usual.
 

A lot of “likes”.  “Like, my family is the, like, the most important thing to me, like, next to god”.   A lot of boobs with a lot of makeup.  Same old same old.  

And a lot of blown up lips.

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, scarlettudor said:

 

Second, the comment made by the hair remover lady was in really bad taste. "You're going to love my hairless p***y."

 

I was so glad my son was out of the room, I was already ashamed of myself for watching this show.  The franchise  had such a hit with the Hannah Brown, sex crazed and proud, show that they picked four times Peter for this one, and I have a feeling this season is going to get more and more porny as it goes on.

[Rainsong]

McKenna starts part II with ‘journey’ and ‘find love.’  Drink?  Oh give us a break..we’re hung over and didn’t sleep.  Shouldn’t Chris Harrison have clothes made with a little kangaroo pouch sewn onto the back to hold the envelope?  If not, where, exactly is he storing it?  Can we get clothier Kelsey on the job?

A rather obvious group of pigeons have been selected by the cat.  Or is it the other way round?  They’re really going to milk this pilot/airplane thing for all it’s worth aren’t they?  That's another cat pun but it wasn't intentional.  Probably because a having licensed pilot means his services are free.

Pete’s excited about the female aviators but it’s fairly evident that our vapid Bachelorettes are unfamiliar with the Blue Angels – maybe they think it’s a clothing brand spun off from Victoria’s Secret?  C-130?  Is that a Ford pickup truck?  Now we have math.  ‘Oh no!’ one gasps - understandably.  Pilot Instructor Cook isn’t quite up to airspeed on the fun aspect of all this.  Don't ask, don't tell, airman.  No laughing or giggling in her ground school, dammit.  Now give me 50 pushups.

Victoria P recounts yet another harrowing Devastating Personal Tragedy (DPT) – she vomited on ‘the little teacup spinny thing.’  How well-read and cosmopolitan she truly is.  She speaks so lyrically.  B-roll footage of the actual ride and some ominous music are inserted for those still unfamiliar with the teacups.  Or vomiting.  Which she predictably does and her white knight of the skies predictably runs over to the bathroom door – because we all want to converse while we’re hugging a commode and retching don’t we?

Like, Tammy, literally like, can’t, like, stop saying like.  Like, literally.  Ugh – what did they slide down into?  Grease?  Pumpkin?  Kelley is cheating but never have we been so happy to see someone break the rules.  Kelley’s a lawyer, girls.  She knows rules are made to be broken.  She’s even met TB before.  Victoria P with a ‘journey’ (ding!) and I think we have the first ‘comfort zone’ of the season – Comfort Zone should really become the name of a cocktail.

Crikey, there’s a whole hour left?

Shiann has either brought the full complement of bad gambler’s luck with her from Las Vegas or she’s getting a horrible edit.  Either way, she is squarely in the Friend Zone.  Kelley adds punitive damages by stealing Pete AND getting the rose.  Even Hannah is a little off-kilter after that clean sweep.

Aubie Madison is dressed to the nines at midday.  Oiling her Tiger traps as it were.  Most of the ladies are on the slim side but Madison has some noticeable muscle definition.  Even her peers are impressed, especially the ones who have been relying on the Diet Coke and sneaky cigarette plan before filming commenced.  A cheeky pseudo-hometown date – which is undoubtedly how the other girls will view it – follows featuring more of Pete and his Mommy issues.  But Madison is returning serve with Daddy stories.  The vocal fry is at max sizzle now and she’s using the word ‘wife.’  Gulp!  Hoopster Madison gets a slam-dunk rose.  Never in doubt.  Cue the country that really isn’t country featuring a ‘bantar’ (a banjo strung and tuned like a guitar).

The hours at the mansion are long.  And so are the faces.  Another group date involves…more Hannah B.  At this point your odds of falling into a pool and staying dry are better than avoiding The Eternal Bachelorette.  Natasha slips into Real Housewives mode but it’s entirely appropriate here.  ‘That’s two times we’ve seen her in a week’ notes Alayah.  Amen.  But to be fair real emotion is on offer here from both…and it involves the complete wreckage of eye makeup.

Love is a powerful force…but it’s not as powerful as network ratings and schedules.  If Pete bails now there will be some rather large holes to fill on the calendar and ABC/Fleiss/Harrison aren’t having it.  It’s a gripping scene and an authentic one, actually, but probably a hiding to nothing since there is a series to air!

Give ‘em grudging credit.  A 3-hour show still ends with a cliffhanger.  Top that, Scorsese!

Edited January 7, 2020 by Rainsong

[Haute Messe]

12 hours ago, Arkay said:

Sorry,  but it’s the plural, so it’s “The Webers.” If they wanted to say that it’s their home, as a plural possessive pronoun it would be “The Webers’ home.”

Thanks, I stand corrected.

[phlebas]

22 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

I can’t do a three hour opening. Good god.
 

It was rough, but not as rough as Colton's opener.  Three hours taking place mostly inside its own watch party?  And then some fun fun moments where we talked to Bri about her fake Australian accent.

[debbie311]

I've watched this show from the beginning, and wow has it changed.  Back in the "old days" there was little if no kissing in the early dates, certainly not on the first night.  Now it's straight to making out.  I predict he will be sleeping with a few of them soon.  It is probably just that I am getting old, but I preferred the days when there was some romance, now it is mostly just sex.

The scary ones who were in tears at the thought of having to go home.  I agree it's not about him -- they just don't want to leave the show and the travel and excitement.  It just comes across as pathetic.

I do agree that this bunch of girls is attractive, although they pretty much all look the same.  It's hard to keep them straight at this stage.  I think I will skip the show and maybe  pick it up when they do hometown dates.  I like when he/she meets the families.

I forgot, what does Hannah B. do in real life?  I mean, if she was to return to Alabama?

[tinkerbell]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

They must have made some decision that they want it to move from a show about romance to one about sex.  I mean Hannah telling her sex story and then requiring all the women to tell their sex stories?  On TV? Some of them might actually have real, non fame whore parents who would be mortified!

And some women might not HAVE "sex stories" that are worth telling. A lot will be, "I had a boyfriend, we were in love, we had sex, we broke up. Now I'm here."  Honestly, wouldn't that be most women's story?   And kind of ridiculous to have someone tell it publicly, in front of a guy they just met and want to date, as well as all the other women who also want to date him.  

[nlkm9]

1 hour ago, truthaboutluv said:

Well, after the million promos of Hannah's appearance had the opposite effect of me resolutely NOT wanting to watch, reading the comments about the episode just confirms to me that I made the right choice. 

Hannah is laughable to me at this point, as is her equally delusional little stans in Bachelor Nation. Miss "I'm an empowered woman who doesn't need a man" can't stop trying to slot any guy into the boyfriend role. 

Yeah, yeah, the producers control the contestants, even after their season has ended, and they were behind having her appear on the show.  But if Hannah was resolutely, "I'm good in my single life", the conversation with Peter would have gone differently.

And seeing the Bachelor Nation stans awwing and now wishing they would get together is again just fucking laughable. Because these were some of the same people who insisted she and Tyler were meant to be. And when he dared to not be her backup, they went nuclear on him. So for Peter's sake, he better hope they don't start shipping a reunion between them too. 

And I hear she was once again selling the "Jed was the safe choice" line. What a load of crap. Hannah wanted Luke and Jed, PERIOD. Then as Luke's crazy became harder and harder to ignore, her feelings for Jed grew stronger and stronger. She picked Jed because that was who she wanted PERIOD. Peter was nice to fuck, obviously, but that was it. 

Then Jed turned out to be a lying liar who lies and meanwhile Bachelor Nation viewers and casual viewers as well, lost their damn minds over Tyler. And he became everyone's wet dream and everyone was screaming how insane she was to let him go and so suddenly she had all these "feelings" for Tyler. When Tyler said, "thanks, no thanks", it was back to the next option. 

Those "feelings" and "emotions" for Peter are a joke because had Luke not turned out to be a nutjob, Hannah would have happily picked him and paid the other guys dust. Then when that didn't work out, had Jed not turned out to be a liar, she would have happily done her post-season engagement with him and paid the other guys dust. And had Tyler been willing to play backup boyfriend, Peter would be a nothing thought to her. So like spare me.

excellent summation. I still laugh when I think of her clomping down the stairs at paradise lol. Ugh, I just cannot beleive the whole sex story thing it is crazy!!

[Jax7917]

The “ sex story “ group date thing was none other than a way for producers to get the windmill thing in again since that’s the storyline of the season . Honestly , do most people have sex stories ? Maybe I’m just boring I suppose lol . 
I like the windmill better than the Virgin storyline , then again you could have both and have Peter work for virgin airlines 😉 .. is that even still around ? Lol

[Dejana]

1 hour ago, debbie311 said:

I've watched this show from the beginning, and wow has it changed.  Back in the "old days" there was little if no kissing in the early dates, certainly not on the first night.  Now it's straight to making out.  I predict he will be sleeping with a few of them soon.  It is probably just that I am getting old, but I preferred the days when there was some romance, now it is mostly just sex.

Remember, Mike Fleiss has claimed that Bachelor Bob slept with five and a half women on his season, the most of any lead, and Bob would definitely be considered as part of the old-school days of the franchise. I do think Peter is moving pretty fast with these women, but the show probably hid more in terms of sex/hooking up in the early seasons, and have gradually been revealing more of that behavior as time has gone on.

We've had several years of Bachelorettes who've settled down with their F1, so I don't really mind Hannah B and her atrocious decision-making in her love life.  Other past leads have reappeared on later seasons without it being so dramatic for either of them. I don't find it so hard to believe that these people could still have lingering feelings for each other months or years later. Most times, it's just two people a Bachelor/Bachelorettes might be torn between, but Hannah Beast, lol, she is extremely messy. I actually find it pretty realistic for young people who do a lot of "dating" in this era. Peter is also doing a lot of making out here; a lead who wasn't as horny probably wouldn't.

The "tell a sex story" group date idea was just weird and guaranteed to be awkward with TPTB bringing back Hannah for it. Probably what they were going for...

Last night's ratings are in:

 

Edited January 7, 2020 by Dejana

[Arkay]

1 hour ago, phlebas said:

If things don't work out with Peter, Mike Johnson better start screening his calls.

At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if she starts spiraling down through everyone she booted, ending up telling her first night bootees that she was "confused" and "made a mistake."

[saber5055]

Fleiss and ABC are pimping this show but HARD. First, Hannah was sent back by TPTB to boost chatter and ratings, she didn't just hire a limo and decide to crash the party on her own. It's all scripted, guys.

Even my local (LOCAL!) noon news showed clips from last night and gave it more air time than the Iran protests. WTH.

Sure, people probably had sex on this show in the past, but it wasn't shoved in our faces 24/7. Remember Nick Viall being demonized for saying ON AIR! that he had sex in the FS so why was he being sent home. So shocking! Everyone hated him for leaking that fact. Now it's being bragged about.

Changing times I guess. But I was raised that some (many) things s/b kept private.

Add that to I think Pete looks like he's 12 and holds absolutely no appeal to me ... and all of the women look the same with their center-parted-extension-filled scraggly hair ...

Wow, I just realized I'm no longer in this show's demo. Although I'd watch in a heartbeat if Crazy Luke P were brought back as The Bach!

[phlebas]

11 minutes ago, Arkay said:

At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if she starts spiraling down through everyone she booted, ending up telling her first night bootees that she was "confused" and "made a mistake."

"I think about it every day, Box King..."

[rebel2u]

Oh Mu Shu and Rainsong, I'm so glad you're back

[b2H]

4 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Didn’t we have enough of Hannah ????????

 

 

The producers and Fleiss apparently don't think so.  As I stated earlier, the fiasco of the last half hour last night was there for the 'shippers that think these two are star-crossed lovers that just need to go off and start their fairy tale story.
 

Me?  How can I miss either one of them when they won't go away.

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, scarlettudor said:

Second, the comment made by the hair remover lady was in really bad taste. "You're going to love my hairless p***y."

It was interesting how they grouped the appearances.  There was a spate of flight attendants, and then there was the group of vulgarians--the hairless pussy girl and the dry everywhere but there girl, and one other I (thankfully) can't recall.

[Adeejay]

6 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

 in the first season, Shannon made it to the final 3 without even kissing. 

Shannon! Lovely, beautiful Shannon. I believe she was the one Alex really wanted, but she refused to join him in the fantasy suite, while the other two did. Bettina (Brad's first season) and Shannon are two of my all time favorite Bachelor contestants. In my humble opinion they are the epitome of class. Hope they are both happily married.

I am curious. Is Hannah B a big ratings draw for ABC? The reason I am asking is because she appears to be popping up all over the network.  Won't be surprised to see her on a sitcom or playing a nurse on one of their medical dramas in the near future.

 

 

[TomGirl]

One of the women (McKenna?) looks just like Colton’s pick, Cassie, to me.

[ECM1231]

2 hours ago, debbie311 said:

 

I forgot, what does Hannah B. do in real life?  I mean, if she was to return to Alabama?

I believe she is an interior designer.